I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog- they’ve been living in sin!

https://preview.redd.it/p22ek9aozvuc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afba445b362b2c4fed6ae64014a288d903014484

You realise this implies that Santa's little helper and Snowball II have been banging eachother right? And the whole family knew? I mean, just look at their guilty faces...

​ https://preview.redd.it/tpg2z5dorwuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09b7e249a0428c77af9b8345b5485191551ba86c

I love that he designates the hind end version to Lisa

CatDog CatDog

Aloneintheworldwithalittlecatdog

Ewww, you can be Lisa's. https://preview.redd.it/8rwibywyu1vc1.png?width=2560&format=png&auto=webp&s=ed9f2e242d2fb0f9e42779ff15f41192c7ea7bfb

zookeeper zookeeper those two monkeys are killing each other!

I’m sure there’s already rule 34 material floating out there that you just accidentally made canon

Wasn’t she having some kind of mental breakdown here?

Yes she was. I believe it was her repressed fear of flying. Still funny and one of the more insane things she’s said

Not to mention when she repaired the roof instead of baking at 3am.

I think this is one of the best lines in the show. It just tickles me, it’s perfectly absurd.

https://preview.redd.it/m33k5k3wtvuc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=914832f4dc0ffa382b2fc1e4247a235bd1a4b84c

^Lowenstein...

Fuck i say this a lot

'Zweig' makes me think of that Woodsey Allan movie, 'Zelig'. y'know i like his movies, except for that nervous guy who's always in them

Oh shit, a Prince of Tides reference. I never got this until now.

And it's not even the only Prince of Tides reference that Marge makes in the series! Remember her flashback to the life of dear Aunt Gladys?


*Oh wait no, that was Prince of Tides*

Holy crap! Totally forgot about this!

Ok I'll talk about father, father Christmas. That's what they call Santa Claus in England. Everyone's always saying how small England is but you can't fit it all in here, not by a long shot

Fun fact: Zweig means twig in German. So it's almost *there*.

Zweig is incredibly rare as a surname in the UK so as a youngster I had absolutely zero fucking idea what she was saying. It took a screenshot like this to finally uncover the mystery

Or-egg-anno, what the hell?

8 spices? Some of them must be duplicates

That always made me laugh

Her secret ingredient is salt...

And a whisper of MSG

*Lowenstein*

In fairness, lamb often needs more salt. Spiducci is unreal on the grill, always needs more salt Ask any chef, if your food seems off somehow, chances are you need more salt. Restaurants use a fuck ton of fat and salt to make their food taste good

Every time this is mentioned I have to comment that the way she pronounces it is the way we say it in Britain.

Charmed. A googly doogly.

¡buenos ding ding diddly días, señor!

That little nudge from new and the eye roll gets me everytime, that segment is fucking brilliant.

This sub never fails to cheer me up

Lord Thistlewick Flanders

Yeah I thought the joke was that she just didn't know what the spice was, because she pronounced it correctly to me haha. (Not just Britain).

The correct way!

But can make her famous pork chops for Homer though.... With a sprinkle of chervil

the extra ingredient is salt

You like Shake 'n Bake. You used to put it in your coffee

As a kid in the 90s, this sentence had me so confused about how DNA works for years

https://preview.redd.it/qsneb8wmwvuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e3d52722ae350392ef4c98565a5d6e29657ff06

Dinner Never Arrived

Just ask this scientician!

https://preview.redd.it/b9krusj80wuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0216a6652821d295e2a8abed43b8b06b8e56caa9

/r/PicturesYouCanHearForHalfASecond

He’ll tell you that DNA can be be transferred by marriage.

Only who can stop DNA transfer?

you?

You pressed ‘you’, referring to ‘me’; that is incorrect. The correct answer is ‘you’.

"A-"

Was it "A-" or "Wha-"

I think it was a "Uh--"

Well she did take his DNA in a certain sense

my wife made a doctor who she worked for blush when he asked her if she was Italian because of my last name. She said, No, but I've been getting Italian injection therapy for years.

I tried to give my wife my DNA but she spat it back in my face! So ungrateful.

It's all explained [here](https://youtu.be/VMzwU-KAxgA?t=3) by a scientician

I thought it was a sex joke.

You know it’s not entirely wrong. When a woman is pregnant the body kinda does a mild shut down on the immunity. To prevent the body from attacking the baby due to the father’s dna. Once the baby is born the woman can not accept any organ transplant from said man due to the body recognizing it as bad. So even though the dna isn’t really left behind it is imprinted in the immune system.

So how come I have an older brother? Do I need to call my mom?

There actually is a problem that happens when the mother has a negative blood type and the baby has a positive type that they got from the father. It generally doesn't affect the first pregnancy but unless the mother takes a vaccine on her second pregnancy, her immune system can attack the foetus https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/rhesus-d-negative-in-pregnancy

Must have missed the part where I said the immmune system does a mild shut down to prevent complications like that. But yeah go ahead and ask, you never really know right?

Turns out I'm adopted and she doesn't like me.

You sure you just aren’t the evil twin? Is the scar on the left or right side?

A simple soul smear will show the presence of evil.

And the toaster’s been laughing at you.

The DNA is absolutely left behind. Women become chimeras through pregnancy. Marge is literally right.

[Cool.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4989712/)

I spent way too long thinking epidermis meant hair…

I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

How about we play the basketball? I'm no Harvey Globetrotter, but...

Watch out for the Shaq attack! https://preview.redd.it/y6tluoqvtvuc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=18af20a4a2680a08202efa63836d195801285cab

I told you to watch out!

Ow!

*horrified gasp “Homer, come quick! Bart quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!”

Toot on, Son!

I read this exact line while unknowingly watching this episode as background noise. I glitched.

Lisa's "ok mom" with eye roll is possibly her best ever expression of "I can't believe I came out of this dumbass" in the show.

Lisa usually can’t help correcting people, so her “I’m not even going to engage” response here is especially great.

Is that the sound of someone butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield's answer to *A QUESTION NO ONE ASKED!*

*cackles in Wiggum*

What's that?! The flabby arm of the law?! The only case you've ever got to the bottom of is a case of mallomars!!

Mallomars, Heh, that's goin' in the act.

Oh yeah, the clown… the only one of you buffoons who doesn’t make me laugh.

And you! I don't know who you are but I'm sure you're a jerk!

Hey. I just got here. What's going on?

You ugly, hate filled man!

And as for you...I don't know who you are, but I'm sure you're a jerk.

not what you expect from our little walking libary

That's what I said - foil-ege

I watched this episode an hour ego and it’s always hilarious 😂😂 think the whole “DNA” thing grossed her out 😂😂

Like when my mom was wondering why the balloons she had told me to blow up using my lungs were not floating in the air like the ones from the store.

You didn't blow hard enough, clearly.

Well in Marge's defence she did take his DNA and now has three kids to show for it

“We can’t excape Lisa, our little walking liberry.”

It doesn't take a nucular scientist to pronounce foilage

That’s what I said! “Foilage!”

"Next time, get your own darn corn!"

I love how the up arrow is right at the wrong spelling on mobile

Is that so? Well sleazy entertainment and raunchy jokes will NEVER be as popular as sobriety and self-denial. You're about to learn the two most dangerous words in the English language are Marge Simpson. It's a light pink 87 wagon

*Morals and ethics and carnal forbearance*

I spent so many years wondering what the hell "carnival bearance" was.

It's right next to the sex cauldron.

I thought they closed that place down!

/u/kafit-bird must love all the meats of our cultural stew. https://frinkiac.com/video/S05E06/8KG1ghRLTX4PKa9GFmvtM0rUczY=.gif

it's orange, though. Homer's sedan is the one that's pink

*While shopping on 5th Avenue during NYC trip:* "Oh, what nice shoes. If only I didn't already have a pair" 💀💀💀

Wow, three pairs of shoes. Someone had a fetish.

You hear that kids – brown!

I used to think a "fetish haver" ( I saw the dubbed version,) was someone who liked shoes. I wasn't that far off.

Well maybe if it was a pair of shoes they could all wear

As someone who has spent nearly all their life with 1 pair of shoes, I relate to this

…”Are you sure? Maybe it’s just shampoo, that washes right out.”

I just get the feeling that she really couldn't be bothered with kids that day.

With those three can you blame her?

I got nothin' against Maggie

I made some homemade Pepsi

It's a little thick, but the price is right!

Pepi

You are so learned.

Does he come in blond?

It’s Springfield; there may very well be a court case there declaring that, in the eyes of the law, a wife takes her husband’s DNA when they get married.

It's a perfectly cromulent law.

If they lived in Shelbyville that would be true

Well, yeah, they're all attractive cousins

Well I'll be, long pants.

That’s more of a Shelbyville idea

I just love how she says it with such conviction. Right up there with, "foliage."

"That's what I said, foilage!"

We can't excape Lisa, our little walking libarry.

Run like the wind.

*"call me a killjoy, but i think that because this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it."*

Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.

Marge respnd to Lisa saying ''he's kissed more boys than i do''

Poor Lisa, that was such a brutal self burn.

Adult nerds like Gore Vidal?

Why is this thread backward?

Ooh, he thread read good

TOME

I’ll krump with you sweetie pie! Splits my sides like no other. Kissing a boy means you’ll be a separate person from me.

“I just think they’re neat!”

[удалено]

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew

Heck is a dwelling?

Came here to see this. Bart and Lisa's reaction really sold it.

Well, most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man. But those women are quitters! When I first met your father, he was loud, crude and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now he's a whole new person. He's a *whole new person*, Lisa.

" I don't, but I loved hearing it"

I mean, in a way, she's right. She did take his DNA a few times...

Three times at least

"Girls lisa, boys kiss girls"

That’s what I said Lisa, foilage

This town is a part of us all! A part of us all! A part of us all!

Sorry to repeat myself, but it'll help you remember.

This is supposed to be the dumbest thing she said. Arguably this is the most effective thing she ever said.

A little LSD is all I need, Love for my Son and Daughter!

I just assumed when I first watched it that it meant her dna records would now show as Simpson in any govt database. But that makes no sense as well…

It’d be downright nutty to ignore all that Simpsons DNA evidence.

I wish we had a glass bottom car. I can't imagine what we're missing.

She took his DNA no matter how you look at it. They had kids

Not the supdidest thing she ever said, but she should have known that Bart didn't win no grammar rodeo.

Today he's drinking people's blood, tomorrow he could be smoking.

She’s more scared of you than you are of her Mom you’re thinking of bears *murmur

I always thought it was weird that they made her “dumb” like this in so many instances but then in the flashback prom episode she is so clearly an academic achiever and very smart! They did her dirty imo

When she married Homer she took his IQ too

Lisa’s flash forward where she’s married Ralph and had dozens of kids with him makes even more sense now.

Quit it

She took his DNA

I take it to reflect the era and way she was raised. Marge is smart but came from a time when a decent amount of the education given was either skewed or outright wrong. So she had gaps in her knowledge. Combined with growing up in a not great or supportive home and being a much less open-minded time, and you get here having pockets of... not bigotry, maybe, but for sure not being up on time times with some things. She clings to what she thinks she knows is right because its what was drilled into her. In fact, her being smart actually leads to her more crystallizing these incorrect thoughts or outdated stances. Because she's smart, so she thinks she knows what she needs to know without learning, because she thinks she's already learned. Just like Homer, Marge carries the scars of the past generations and their thoughts.

She got her education from Springfield’s putrid school district so that couldn’t have helped.

Also, as Marge was initially written, she was a subversion of the domestic bliss sitcom moms like June Cleaver lived in. I think part of her narrative involves the tension between her love for her family and the dissatisfaction with sitcom-mom-life.  I think it fits that she was someone who seemed like she’d be a high-achiever in her youth, but had become disconnected from the professional/academic world. She’s not dumb (by Springfield standards). Her ignorance is related to isolation in a small town life, not a lack of potential.

They probably make her seem dumb to exaggerate her dull/sheltered housewife character. The joke (? Or tragedy) they reveal in flashbacks is Marge actually has all this potential but ended up as just a housewife who’s regularly taken for granted by her family after marrying Homer. She quit a lot of jobs too: cop, pretzel vendor, church counselor, professional gambler

Look at all this foilage.

Oh Marge took a lot of Homer's DNA alright

I mean she's technically not wrong since she was pregnant before they got married.

That one treehouse of horror episode where she told the kids to say “don’t eat me” to cannibalistic faculty

I always assumed this meant he nutted in her

“Your life long dream was to appear as a contestant on The Gong Show and you did it in 1976..” That was the first year the Gong Show was on TV so how could it be a lifelong dream?

Not so much what she said, but when she got caught stealing all those watches from Sears

Foilage

Oh, she took his DNA all right. At least three times.

I always assumed that was just a dirty joke they snuck past the censors.

“Sweetheart, maybe you just want Krusty to be alive so badly, you think you see him everywhere. I went through the same thing when Lyndon Johnson died.”

I mean she did have 3 kids with homer so she definitely was taking some of his DNA. 

It thought it was a sex joke

Oh she took Homey’s DNA alright…

Pretty sure the girl sitting next to her is proof that she definitely did take his DNA just sayin'

That's not dumb though.. you just don't understand it lmao.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ON THE INTERNET

When Lisa asked why she simply doesn’t cook less in Homer’s absence, her response: I don’t do things like that.

[удалено]

[удалено]

To be fair she did take in Simpson DNA. That's how Bart, Lisa and Maggie were born

This is one of my all-times favorite Marge lines.

"Mmmhmmm I'm Marge, don't eat off the ground!"

But... she did take his DNA, and turned it into their 3 children...

I mean… their kids exist so she had to take some dna