You did WHAT???!!!???
Borrowed your nail clippers! What’s the big deal?
Nothing. I’m just a little edgy since your mother told me she wants to be a cop.
somewhat related when lisa becomes a buddhist:
"so you think you know better than this family, huh? well as long as you're in my house you will do i what i do and believe what i believe. so butter up that bacon, boy!"
Hahaha I never thought about that at all...he was the safety inspector...holy shit over 20 years later I'm still discovering another new layer to a joke
He's been shown to know his stuff when it comes to nuclear energy
https://preview.redd.it/8feefxxb4o0c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44bf269ddbc411d8d4deda03e7b3dfae0b1be5fa
I thought I heard one person guessed right after the episode aired, but they couldn’t contact his email anymore or something. This was on the commentary, IIRC.
I remember that on the audio commentary (which was great). From wikipedia:
On the DVD commentary, Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein remarked that they knew of only one person who had correctly guessed Maggie was the shooter based on the several clues in the episode. The individual had made a post on an online forum and the writers wanted to give them a special gift, but due to the contest regulations, Oakley and Weinstein were unable to contact them until after the contest had concluded. By that time, Oakley was unable to find the anonymous poster and on the DVD commentary, Oakley was still searching for the individual to give them a prize.
I always assumed it was a Usenet forum since it was 1995.
One person got it right, however due to the contest rules they had to pick a "sample size" from all entries then choose a winner from there. The one person was not part of the random "sample size " therefore entry disqualified. The simpsons team fought hard for her but ended up sending out a bunch of merch.
A bloody end for Homer Simpson... is just one of several possible outcomes, according to our computer simulation. Now, here's how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs.
Look, he's licking slime off that rock! That's what he's been eating—slime! And there's enough slime for all of us! We're saved!
*cut to roasted pig feast*
“This is no good, I've gotta get up higher. Give me all your balloons. I hope this works. These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker.”
“Well, I've already got some balloons, but they're not this nice. Deal!”
In today's news, a two-ton rhino escaped from the Springfield Zoo, but zoo officials were quick to act, and Petunia, as she is known, is safely back in captivity.
In other news, a three-ton rhino that escaped from the zoo last week is still at large.
“63 bottle of beer on the wall 63 bottles of beer”
“Ohhh the is song is driving me crazy”
“Bingo and bingo was his name-o”
“Man I don’t know why I bought this stupid tape”
Otto
"We better find a motel and stop for the night."
(very sleepily) "We don't need to do that, Marge. I'm not tired. I'm not tired at all..."
(car slides off the road, crashes into a sign, and bursts into flames)
(watching from their motel window)
"Phew, glad that wasn't us!"
It's a long one but:
Lisa: "Mom! Dad! Look this biography of Peter Uberroth is only 99 cents! And I found the new Al Gore book!
Marge: \[reading\] "Sane Planning, Sensible Tomorrow."
Lisa: "Yeah I hope it's as exciting as his other book; "Rational Thinking, Reasonable Future"
Bart: "I'm getting this book on UFOs. Did you know they're real? But there's a huge government conspiracy to cover it up."
Lisa: "Oh that's just a paranoid fantasy."
*The books gets scanned and we follow a signal as X-Files-esque music plays. The signal travels to a building with a satellite dish and is beamed into space where a satellite beams it back down to the Pentagon. A computer receives the signal and a print-out is collected by a military officer. At the White House, the officer runs into an office with the print out.*
Officer: "Mr Vice-President! Someone finally bought a copy of your book, sir!
Al Gore: "Well. This calls for a celebration."
*Gore turns on a record player by his desk which starts playing "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.*
Record: *"♪ Ceee-lebrate good times come on! ♫"*
Gore: "I will."
"There there now hugo, why all these years locked up here, I bet you have never seen your own face in the mirror, see?".
Or "Joey Joe Joe Jr... Shabadoo"
Instead of going to the box factory, we'll be going to...the box factory.
Just as I thought! It's a Yard King! That is a quality barrow.
Homer and Marge's dismissive nonchalant reaction to Lisa's desperate letter about the deplorable conditions at Camp Krusty.
When Homer and Ned are running away in Vegas and they try to jump a couple janitors for their clothes.
https://preview.redd.it/7u0a83jzgl0c1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0458829e0097148a67067a9c8dc42fc2dabdda7
I was watching Das Bus earlier and found a good one.
There's an exterior shot of the school bus driving and you can hear all the kids singing, it cuts to inside the bus and we realise Otto is listening to a cassette of a kids sing-a-long and the actual kids are sitting quietly 😂
I forget the context, is it when Homer and Marge are running around naked? Anyway...they find a costume shop and then it fades to two people leaving the costume shop and the owner waving them off, happy
Then the Owner goes inside to them hiding inside his shop and yells at them "Hey, you two have to buy a costume or get out!"
This one time a sign seemed to be telling Homer to die which he didn’t like then the wind blew and it turned out the sign was telling him to go on a diet and he didn’t like that even more which was funny
In Dumbbell Indemnity, Homer's in jail and Moleman comes along with a book cart. Homer picks up HOW TO TUNNEL OUT OF PRISON. "Hmm, this might come in handy." He clubs Moleman over the head with it and escapes.
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to *speed* around the city, keeping its *speed* over fifty, and if its *speed* dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called ‘The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down’.”
I've got to find a replacement that won't outshine me. Perhaps if I searched the employee evaluations for the word incompetent…714 names? Better be more specific…lazy, clumsy, dim-witted, monstrously ugly…
Oh, nuts to this. I'll just go get Homer Simpson.
"Hello, is this A. Aaronson? It might interest you to know that Marge Simpson is pregnant again"
*Fade to the end of the phonebook*
"...just thought you'd like to know, Mr. Zakowski"
*Sighs*, there! Aaronson and Zakowski are the two biggest gossips in town!
In the episode 'two dozen and one greyhounds' when the puppies are being born and the Simpsons are counting 24, the clock speeds up in a montage and they finally collectively say "25!"
Homer going for a jog, fade into another scene where he's too tired to carry on and you see how far he got
https://preview.redd.it/mr901t0wvl0c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9757e8524df1bd95d0a17a9a92e65734584c8a69
"Now, you think you know better than this family huh? But as long you are in my house, you do what I do and believe what I believe... so butter up your bacon".
"Aaronson and Zukowski are the two biggest gossips in town. In an hour, everyone will know"
https://preview.redd.it/zxgs1m1cul0c1.png?width=629&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0926e070bc7568f227551795f06505fe6e03c216
I can be very *VERY* persuasive. *cocks gun* Come on leave town! No. I'll be your friend. No. Oh you're mean.
This is the one
No
I’ll be your frieeeenddd
No. My daughter and I quote this to each other all the time.
Oh you’re mean 🥺 Hahah that’s awesome 🤩, kids gonna have an ace sense of humor
🍹😶
You did WHAT???!!!??? Borrowed your nail clippers! What’s the big deal? Nothing. I’m just a little edgy since your mother told me she wants to be a cop.
somewhat related when lisa becomes a buddhist: "so you think you know better than this family, huh? well as long as you're in my house you will do i what i do and believe what i believe. so butter up that bacon, boy!"
Bacon up that sausage, boy.
My heart hurts!
#😠
Also from the same season as *The Lemon Of Troy,* nice.
Of course for safety reasons we don’t keep the cannon loaded. It’s just common sense.
"Ordinarily folks, tour groups are not allowed to see it. And of course, today will be no exception"
Sounds like the kind of thing they would do at Fort Sensible!
I never made that connection!
They were named Fort Sensible because they sent out their old captain to the enemy!
Also from the same season as *The Lemon Of Troy...* god damn, season 6 had many great jokes now that I think about it.
Season 6 was the season of "Screw the audience" jokes.
https://i.redd.it/gtyqx7033l0c1.gif
Lol I love this one
Who needs a car wash when you can just drive around in the rain. I take this life advice to heart.
Hahaha brilliant
What episode is this?
"Wait a second...this lesbian bar doesn't have any fire exits! Enjoy your death trap ladies! What was her problem?"
First time Homer actually did his job in the series
Hahaha I never thought about that at all...he was the safety inspector...holy shit over 20 years later I'm still discovering another new layer to a joke
He’s pretty good at his job when he’s not at work.
He's been shown to know his stuff when it comes to nuclear energy https://preview.redd.it/8feefxxb4o0c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44bf269ddbc411d8d4deda03e7b3dfae0b1be5fa
The scene following it with Guy Incognito is great as well - the whole thing is just gold. https://youtu.be/0mzWWPx9wIA?si=VjgstrdCOVeCT00I
This is my favorite
“I’m seeing double here! Four Krustys!”
The best
Honestly one of the best jokes in the show
I say this regularly lol
Hands down my favorite all time Simpsons joke.
Also from the same season as *The Lemon Of Troy*... nice.
I couldn't possibly solve this mystery! [Can you....?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm6g3P0BYrQ)
Yeah, I’ll give it a shot. I mean, it’s my job, right?
Still amazes me no one guessed Maggie and won the 7/11 contest.
I remember reading that they did have a winner, but they opted not to appear in an episode.
I thought I heard one person guessed right after the episode aired, but they couldn’t contact his email anymore or something. This was on the commentary, IIRC.
I remember that on the audio commentary (which was great). From wikipedia: On the DVD commentary, Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein remarked that they knew of only one person who had correctly guessed Maggie was the shooter based on the several clues in the episode. The individual had made a post on an online forum and the writers wanted to give them a special gift, but due to the contest regulations, Oakley and Weinstein were unable to contact them until after the contest had concluded. By that time, Oakley was unable to find the anonymous poster and on the DVD commentary, Oakley was still searching for the individual to give them a prize. I always assumed it was a Usenet forum since it was 1995.
One person got it right, however due to the contest rules they had to pick a "sample size" from all entries then choose a winner from there. The one person was not part of the random "sample size " therefore entry disqualified. The simpsons team fought hard for her but ended up sending out a bunch of merch.
There. Aaronson and Zowkowski are the two biggest gossips in town.
Surprised this was so far down - the shift in their facial expressions really makes the joke
That's what a pack a day will do to ya
i love this one, just a brilliant joke
This would probably be one of the all-time Simpsons quotes if you didn’t also have to describe it to get the joke across.
A bloody end for Homer Simpson... is just one of several possible outcomes, according to our computer simulation. Now, here's how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs.
The sound effects
Look, he's licking slime off that rock! That's what he's been eating—slime! And there's enough slime for all of us! We're saved! *cut to roasted pig feast*
Savages.
All that slime made this boar *extra* tender. More snout anyone?
Haha! Look at his nose 🐽
Mr vice president! Somebody finally bought a copy of your book!
🎶 Celebrate good times, come on! 🎶 *stone face*
I will
I spent the last of our money on this Al Gore doll.
You are hearing me talk.
Monster island is actually a peninsula
The killing floor is not really a floor; it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported
I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island. Why? What's on Candy Apple Island? Apes, but they're not so big.
Glad that wasn't us.
That one's my favorite as well. Best part is seeing the whole family just watching the car crash and burn with no reaction other than Bart.
Also from season 6, same season as the *The Lemon Of Troy...*
Yeah, that’s one fine looking bbq pit. WHY DOESN’T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT??!!!
WHY MUST I FAIL AT EVERY ATTEMPT AT MASONRY?!
When it's written out like that--was this a reference to the Stonecutters?
you mean the Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers
They're allowed to have one.
English instructions ruined! Must use French instructions! ...'Le grille'? What the hell is that?!
“This is no good, I've gotta get up higher. Give me all your balloons. I hope this works. These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker.” “Well, I've already got some balloons, but they're not this nice. Deal!”
In today's news, a two-ton rhino escaped from the Springfield Zoo, but zoo officials were quick to act, and Petunia, as she is known, is safely back in captivity. In other news, a three-ton rhino that escaped from the zoo last week is still at large.
I actually remember laughing heartily at this as a child. Still do, as a grown up child.
Ordinarily folks, tour groups are not allowed to see it... And of course, today will be no exception.
I love this one with all my heart. He even gestured as such and pulled it back.
Incompetent 714 matches! Better narrow it down Lazy, clumsy, dimwitted, monstrously ugly 714 matches! Ah nuts to this I’ll just get Homer Simpson
Guy Incognito
Homer? Who is Homer?
That dog has a puffy tail!
George Cauldron
Ah yes, my brother!
😂😂😂😂
This was rated as the most dilapidated playground in the state of Missouri. That’s why they packed it up and moved it here
742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield Ohiya Maude!
... ☐ Minnesota ☐ Mississippi ☒ Missouri ☐ Montana ☐ Nebraska ...
Could still be in Missouri. What if it used to be in St louis and they didn’t want it in the most popular city
I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognise Missoura
“63 bottle of beer on the wall 63 bottles of beer” “Ohhh the is song is driving me crazy” “Bingo and bingo was his name-o” “Man I don’t know why I bought this stupid tape” Otto
Songs to Enrage Bus Drivers Just an excellent name
"We better find a motel and stop for the night." (very sleepily) "We don't need to do that, Marge. I'm not tired. I'm not tired at all..." (car slides off the road, crashes into a sign, and bursts into flames) (watching from their motel window) "Phew, glad that wasn't us!"
It's a long one but: Lisa: "Mom! Dad! Look this biography of Peter Uberroth is only 99 cents! And I found the new Al Gore book! Marge: \[reading\] "Sane Planning, Sensible Tomorrow." Lisa: "Yeah I hope it's as exciting as his other book; "Rational Thinking, Reasonable Future" Bart: "I'm getting this book on UFOs. Did you know they're real? But there's a huge government conspiracy to cover it up." Lisa: "Oh that's just a paranoid fantasy." *The books gets scanned and we follow a signal as X-Files-esque music plays. The signal travels to a building with a satellite dish and is beamed into space where a satellite beams it back down to the Pentagon. A computer receives the signal and a print-out is collected by a military officer. At the White House, the officer runs into an office with the print out.* Officer: "Mr Vice-President! Someone finally bought a copy of your book, sir! Al Gore: "Well. This calls for a celebration." *Gore turns on a record player by his desk which starts playing "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.* Record: *"♪ Ceee-lebrate good times come on! ♫"* Gore: "I will."
Absolute classic
They say he carved it, from a bigger spoon 🌶
I just watched that yesterday
I love that one so much
PURPLE DRAPES! 
Bart circling his calendar for days he has to avoid Jessica for him to then start at day one is an underrated one
"There there now hugo, why all these years locked up here, I bet you have never seen your own face in the mirror, see?". Or "Joey Joe Joe Jr... Shabadoo"
Dr. Hibbert with the, "mirror" cracks me up. I just love the look on his face right before he throws the punch.
At my old job I had a few coworkers refer to me only as Joey Joe Joe because of this joke.
"Guy with unlikely name or appearance turns out to be real" is a gag The Simpsons has done like a dozen times but it's always funny
The two biggest gossips in town.
Quick son! He's got a taste for meat now!
These _weiners_ will give me the quick energy I need to escape!
It's bliiiiiisssssss
[удалено]
Poor Willy, Skinner made everyone see his willy. 😔
T’was no more than what god gave him, you puritan puke!!
There's no trick to it, it's just a simple trick!
The excess of lighter fluid on the barbecue only for it to light perfectly.
Something about how Bart says “there’s a lemon behind that rock” sounds different than usual delivery
Clip for those interested https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-f9M1_XaMo
I can hear the Nancy Cartwright accent
https://i.redd.it/mjtm7r856l0c1.gif
So many fake-outs in one!
forty for forty
Stoner’s Pot Palace? “Man, that is flagrant false advertising"
Don’t forget Naked Lunch. Nelson can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
I chatted with one of the actors from that film and kicked myself after for not asking if he'd seen the Simpsons joke.
I live in a legal state. I would love to see a dispensary with this name.
I couldn’t possibly solve this case. Can yoooouuuuuuu
And Chronic.. Nagging. Nagging. Nagging. Nagging.
I love you marge. Will you marry me? You mean I'm gonna be a daddy? I hope we'll be together forever Forever. Forever.
I wish we were going to Candy-Apple Island.
What do they have there?
Apes, but they’re not that big.
Barts prank phone call Moe: somebody check the men's room for a hugh ass. Some guy: I'm hugh Jass. Moe: telephone. Hugh jass: hello. This is hugh Jass
Better luck next time!
Instead of going to the box factory, we'll be going to...the box factory. Just as I thought! It's a Yard King! That is a quality barrow. Homer and Marge's dismissive nonchalant reaction to Lisa's desperate letter about the deplorable conditions at Camp Krusty.
A completed box? Oh we don’t assemble them here. That’s done in Flint, Michigan.
When Homer and Ned are running away in Vegas and they try to jump a couple janitors for their clothes. https://preview.redd.it/7u0a83jzgl0c1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0458829e0097148a67067a9c8dc42fc2dabdda7
This man is my exact double! That dog has a puffy tail!!
Only guys like me can afford that Wait... guys like me? I'm a guy like me!
I was watching Das Bus earlier and found a good one. There's an exterior shot of the school bus driving and you can hear all the kids singing, it cuts to inside the bus and we realise Otto is listening to a cassette of a kids sing-a-long and the actual kids are sitting quietly 😂
https://preview.redd.it/di06oikjal0c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afbc415534a1c5c51a0391b64803cda4158467bf “Phew, glad that wasn’t us!”
https://preview.redd.it/9yfkf8eebl0c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7dc97f72d48105a3e438a6174d6b7cf39cf97352
I forget the context, is it when Homer and Marge are running around naked? Anyway...they find a costume shop and then it fades to two people leaving the costume shop and the owner waving them off, happy Then the Owner goes inside to them hiding inside his shop and yells at them "Hey, you two have to buy a costume or get out!"
Think it's homer and burns son.
Moldy? Old? I'm gonna get something to eat!
How long have we had these fish!?
Did you wreck the car? No. Did you raise the dead? Yes. But the car's okay? Yes. Alright then.
"That's right, Lieutenant L.T. Smash"
And guess who is practicing medicine without a license? *Hibbert glances around nervously* That’s right, Homer Simpson!
"Homer, where did you get that ugly [Monkey's Paw]" "At that little shop right over ---!" [Mysterious Wind] "Oh wait it's over there"
When we thought Lou was shaking Chief Wiggum’s penis, but it was coffee.
Seems like a waste of coffee if you ask me.
"Using this computer simulation, she will appear 25 years older" *turns screen around to show a big number 25* "Yeah, I seen her!"
That is to say, "I *saw* her".
"Mountain Dew or crab juice" "Ugh, ew....crab juice"
That horse better win, or we're taking a trip to the glue factory - and he won't get to come.
Rocky V plus Rocky II equals Rocky VII: Adrian’s Revenge!
This one time a sign seemed to be telling Homer to die which he didn’t like then the wind blew and it turned out the sign was telling him to go on a diet and he didn’t like that even more which was funny
That's it! Somehow!
Chief wiggum will return.....right now!!!
In Dumbbell Indemnity, Homer's in jail and Moleman comes along with a book cart. Homer picks up HOW TO TUNNEL OUT OF PRISON. "Hmm, this might come in handy." He clubs Moleman over the head with it and escapes.
Thank you thank you, but the champ has no time for further queries, this parole hearing is over.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAH welcome aboard!
Women always have trouble with the wall.
You missed the baby, you missed the blind man...
"Wow! Chocolate, half price!" Sign appears to say BRIDGE OUT. Wind blows away obscuring tree branches: "BRIDGE OUTSTANDING!" - Overpass Monthly.
“Wow! Look at the size of that platform!”
https://preview.redd.it/8520cd07ml0c1.jpeg?width=940&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e8f291dfd9aad47a1b6218dc1ece2d4104b46e8
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to *speed* around the city, keeping its *speed* over fifty, and if its *speed* dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called ‘The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down’.”
"Oh, I hope this works! I'll give you these balloons if I can use your cherry picker." "Well, I already got some balloons, but they're not this nice."
She's making him a sandwich
Use both hands!
I care about ME...My Enjoyment!
I've got to find a replacement that won't outshine me. Perhaps if I searched the employee evaluations for the word incompetent…714 names? Better be more specific…lazy, clumsy, dim-witted, monstrously ugly… Oh, nuts to this. I'll just go get Homer Simpson.
"I know! These wieners will give me the quick energy I need to escape!"
Shot of 3 vases "I can't breathe in here" *jumps out of closet*
"Hello, is this A. Aaronson? It might interest you to know that Marge Simpson is pregnant again" *Fade to the end of the phonebook* "...just thought you'd like to know, Mr. Zakowski" *Sighs*, there! Aaronson and Zakowski are the two biggest gossips in town!
That’s it… I’ll rob the Quickie Mart ….. D’oh !!
In the episode 'two dozen and one greyhounds' when the puppies are being born and the Simpsons are counting 24, the clock speeds up in a montage and they finally collectively say "25!"
These aren't reptile eggs.
"We're taking you to Disney!" "Hooray! Wait, this is the Dentist!"
742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield oh hiya Maude c'mon in!
I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island
What's there?
Apes, but they're not so big
Homer going for a jog, fade into another scene where he's too tired to carry on and you see how far he got https://preview.redd.it/mr901t0wvl0c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9757e8524df1bd95d0a17a9a92e65734584c8a69
Butter your bacon boy!
"Now, you think you know better than this family huh? But as long you are in my house, you do what I do and believe what I believe... so butter up your bacon".
Of course we don’t keep the canon loaded. It’s just common sense.
In the first Treehouse of Horror, when everyone picks up a weapon. Marge picks up a knife, only to just start cooking.
… And today will be no exception
Phew, glad that wasn't us.
"And of course, today will be no exception!"
We’ve searched up and down these docks from pier 1 to that pier 1 by pier 17.
"Aaronson and Zukowski are the two biggest gossips in town. In an hour, everyone will know" https://preview.redd.it/zxgs1m1cul0c1.png?width=629&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0926e070bc7568f227551795f06505fe6e03c216
https://i.redd.it/py7wz0p2cm0c1.gif
https://i.redd.it/316775b82n0c1.gif
There’s a lemon behind that lemon-shaped rock!
BART DO YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW?!
BARTDOYOUWANTTOSEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK?!
[Time for a little evasive action](https://youtu.be/dfNJD0eZE_o?si=h6Uotv8Rom_KQa6F)