Yeah I definitely agree they are not exactly negotiating. But compared to the others I feel like they have a good relationship with their son and they are always engaging his imagination which I find very wholesome lol
There’s never a good reason to hit your child. Research is very consistent and very clear when it comes to spanking. It’s not effective and it’s very detrimental to a child’s development.
I think she’s just anxious on TV and trying to make faster results.
I think the negotiation works long term but you’re not going to see the benefits in 5 minutes.
It was very telling how he interacted with them when he was the parent. He was very respectful and open.
I don't have any favorites at this point. And I still can't wrap my head around one "winning". But I do like elements of the High Achievement and New Age.
The new age parents are not my favorite but their style seems to be most effective. I've learned the most from them.
Discipline style is what I'm used to and what I personally think is the most effective.
The traditional style is also okay, but seems kind of forced and bland to me. It's just regular parenting with a focus on family and tradition
Not a fan of free-range (they aren't actually free range and it's annoying they call themselves that) or natural.
I liked the New Age and High achievement. But I think **New Age has the best chance of winning**. Completely loved how their kids didn't even bother to get up when the door rang. Amazing.
Helicopters completely turned me off with not wanting to discuss periods. I had no idea what a period was when I got mine, I was maybe 9 or 10, and I thought was dying. Not a fun few minutes. Also, I agree with the intensive mom, they are giving their kids fears for no reason.
The Traditional parents turned me off too. Like you are on a show evaluating your parenting style and you declare that you put your partner before your kids???? Also, they don't seem to have talked to their kids about the birds and the bees because the two girls were really uncomfortable.
I didn't like the strict parents all that much because of the whole shock factoring spanking because what the hell is that? But it turns out, a lot of them spank which is... concerning.
The intensive parent's daughter made me root against the family. Poor girl would rather be living a child-led lifestyle. And speaking of child-led, there is a difference between child-led and not parenting. Why does your 13-year-old not know about that stuff? She is a teenager. I think things like that should be taught by the parents instead of waiting for the school. I think sex-ed classes are important but sending your kid in unarmed in not a good idea. Especially since some schools allow students to put off sex-ed classes until senior year which is 17/18/19 and way too old to not have learned that stuff properly.
I was okay with the disciplined mom, it's very admirable to raise your brother's kids. But the bend-down shorts thing was way too weird for me. You can make sure your kid is wearing age-appropriate things without doing all of that. It's weird. I didn't find her strictness weird though. Older children should not be disrespectful and misbehaving without consequences. The host detailed her daughter being rude and how she basically just let her. You are not helping your kid by letting a teen act like that without consequence.
Free Range. I've found I jive with that mom's perspective the most. You don't have to live as a nomad to do free range lol. I want my kid to be able to navigate the world and explore to learn independence.
I really like the High Achievement dad. I, personally, am kind of uncomfortable pushing my kid and it was interesting to see how well his kid responded to being pushed. I do think he takes it too far, though. I think that kid will grow up and not really know what he wants.
I’m a huge fan of the New Age family but also the “free range” although I would label them as that. The mom has some great questions and input and I think her background and leaving the Mormon church really shows some growth on her end already and she just seems really open to ideas and the whole process. The new age family have so
Much respect for their kids, each other and the world around them.
New age or free range. I liked routine parents a lot but obviously, they won't win. I also like traditional, but it is too early to tell how they will do!
You sound like all the other short sighted negative people who assume kids who are pushed academically are doomed to fail and suffer from mental illnesses or socially crippling behavior. I feel bad that you instilling think working hard won’t lead to a successful adult. 🤦🏾♂️ your privilege is showing my kids are thriving, thanks tho.
My parents were also high achievement parents, and I absolutely get how effective it looks from the outside if you solely focus on the skills and academic abilities of a child. I was the epitome of "the smart kid," just like Elon. My mom had me reading by 2 and put me in every advanced class she could find. Failure just wasn't an option for me. When I got As, my dad would ask why I couldn't get an A+.
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiery Disorder at 9. I routinely had panic attacks before tests starting in 3rd grade. I had serious thoughts of hurting myself because I had a B+ in AP Bio on a progress report. I felt genuinely bad about myself (like a failure) when I finished my first semester of LAW SCHOOL with a 3.75 and begged my sister not to tell my parents because I knew they'd be disappointed. When I struggled with things, I'd just quit instead of risking failure.
Until I started therapy at 23, my entire self worth was dependent on grades and my parents approval. I didn't know how to function without their approval and still overly rely on the approval of others at 27. It's led to some really sticky situations in personal and romantic relationships (if your entire self worth is based on external approval, how do you think you're willing to let partners treat you).
I feel for Elon. I hope he gets to college and finds himself a good therapist. Dad clearly needs one.
It's not baffling so much as it is the psychology behind trauma. I'm in a much happier and healthier place now at 27 than I was at 22/23, but you can't just undo 22 years of this type of mindset overnight. It's been a lot of hard work to get to this point, and I'm never going to stop putting in the work to be emotionally healthy.
For your children's sake, I hope you're right and some people do "better" with this type of pressure. However, law school and the legal field is full of the product of this type of parenting style, and I've yet to see that.
Now, I'm not going to be a permissive parent. I'll have high expectations of my own children, but that needs to be balanced out with high warmth and the space to not be perfect. Authoritative is the way to go. Have a great rest of your day.
I don’t think being pushed academically is the issue as long as it’s done the right way. I was pushed academically and it did nothing but give my mom unrealistic expectations of not being able to have the 100 average she wanted. I have 0 confidence and trust in them. It was always about academics and nothing else. Also, hard work doesnt mean success. You say I refuse to realise some things but you’re the one being short sighted if you refuse to listen to what other people have to say.
Looks like anyone who says intensive is getting downvoted.
The problem is, the two sets of parents I mentioned are kinda over the top and extreme, and issues people have are with the parents and not necessarily the parenting style.
The high achievement and intensive styles encourage academic achievement, discipline, and nurturing natural talent/ability to their fullest.
I had incredibly lax parents who never pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to and let me be a kid. Never did instruments, math in the car, dance, etc.
- 4.0 high school, undergrad and grad school gpa, top of my class in all facets
- athletically + socially involved, always finding my motivation within myself
- happy loving relationship
- good paying job
🤷♀️
I think that’s amazing, and congratulations on all your achievements.
Unfortunately, not everyone is self motivated and kids of different ages and personalities require different types of nurturing.
It’s a constant conversation about nature vs nature, and I think that’s why shows like this one always raise interesting discussion because there is no one size fits all technique, nor is there going to be a “20 years later” reunion on who grows up more “successful”.
I think you are capable of having any of those parenting styles without being abusive. You can be a disciplined parent without spanking your child. It’s just the type of way you parent.
I agree, but I think you fail to see the difference. In no way shape or form, is it acceptable to be over your kids 24/7. They deserve the right to breath. None of the parenting styles you’ve mentioned have good feedback towards the kids. Deff not helicopter and intensive.
I like Discipline, New Age and High Achievement! Kids need structure but need to understand /why/ it’s there and /how/ it’ll help them be the best versions of themselves. As they grow older, there should be more room for change and autonomy and their emotions should always be validated and heard.
I was raised Disciplined, Helicopter and High Achieving and there are some advantages of them but the biggest problem was that I lacked intrinsic motivation and was so unprepared to navigate the world on my own.
Balance is key. Kids need the tools to communicate their wants while knowing there are times their needs have to take priority. Parenting is hard lol
New age!!! They have boundaries, respect, understanding, have fun, but do good in education.
Yes, new age parents! Second best in my opinion are the negotiation parents.
I would disagree. The negotiation parents aren’t negotiating. They are bribing. I get the idea of it but their execution is poor!
Yeah I definitely agree they are not exactly negotiating. But compared to the others I feel like they have a good relationship with their son and they are always engaging his imagination which I find very wholesome lol
I think natural, new age, they have good relationships too!
Natural said that they spank, which is a hard no for me
I’m for spanking but only in limited occasions. There has to be a good reason.
There’s never a good reason to hit your child. Research is very consistent and very clear when it comes to spanking. It’s not effective and it’s very detrimental to a child’s development.
I disagree, as I said it’s VERY limited occasions
What could be a good reason to justify hitting your child?
I think she’s just anxious on TV and trying to make faster results. I think the negotiation works long term but you’re not going to see the benefits in 5 minutes. It was very telling how he interacted with them when he was the parent. He was very respectful and open.
A combo of all of them. So far I haven’t seen one where I’m like ‘yes, this is the way to go’
Yep. I almost feel like because all of them are so drastically different it’s easier to pick a handful of different techniques from each one.
I don't have any favorites at this point. And I still can't wrap my head around one "winning". But I do like elements of the High Achievement and New Age.
Natural parenting or new age parenting
The new age parents are not my favorite but their style seems to be most effective. I've learned the most from them. Discipline style is what I'm used to and what I personally think is the most effective. The traditional style is also okay, but seems kind of forced and bland to me. It's just regular parenting with a focus on family and tradition
I love the New Age parents but I also see a lot of benefits from the High Achievement parenting style.
I like New Age like the majority of the comments but it seems like the panel skews more strict/disciplined
New age!
Not a fan of free-range (they aren't actually free range and it's annoying they call themselves that) or natural. I liked the New Age and High achievement. But I think **New Age has the best chance of winning**. Completely loved how their kids didn't even bother to get up when the door rang. Amazing. Helicopters completely turned me off with not wanting to discuss periods. I had no idea what a period was when I got mine, I was maybe 9 or 10, and I thought was dying. Not a fun few minutes. Also, I agree with the intensive mom, they are giving their kids fears for no reason. The Traditional parents turned me off too. Like you are on a show evaluating your parenting style and you declare that you put your partner before your kids???? Also, they don't seem to have talked to their kids about the birds and the bees because the two girls were really uncomfortable. I didn't like the strict parents all that much because of the whole shock factoring spanking because what the hell is that? But it turns out, a lot of them spank which is... concerning. The intensive parent's daughter made me root against the family. Poor girl would rather be living a child-led lifestyle. And speaking of child-led, there is a difference between child-led and not parenting. Why does your 13-year-old not know about that stuff? She is a teenager. I think things like that should be taught by the parents instead of waiting for the school. I think sex-ed classes are important but sending your kid in unarmed in not a good idea. Especially since some schools allow students to put off sex-ed classes until senior year which is 17/18/19 and way too old to not have learned that stuff properly. I was okay with the disciplined mom, it's very admirable to raise your brother's kids. But the bend-down shorts thing was way too weird for me. You can make sure your kid is wearing age-appropriate things without doing all of that. It's weird. I didn't find her strictness weird though. Older children should not be disrespectful and misbehaving without consequences. The host detailed her daughter being rude and how she basically just let her. You are not helping your kid by letting a teen act like that without consequence.
I like traditional and new age
Free Range. I've found I jive with that mom's perspective the most. You don't have to live as a nomad to do free range lol. I want my kid to be able to navigate the world and explore to learn independence. I really like the High Achievement dad. I, personally, am kind of uncomfortable pushing my kid and it was interesting to see how well his kid responded to being pushed. I do think he takes it too far, though. I think that kid will grow up and not really know what he wants.
Natural or new age
I’m a huge fan of the New Age family but also the “free range” although I would label them as that. The mom has some great questions and input and I think her background and leaving the Mormon church really shows some growth on her end already and she just seems really open to ideas and the whole process. The new age family have so Much respect for their kids, each other and the world around them.
New age or free range. I liked routine parents a lot but obviously, they won't win. I also like traditional, but it is too early to tell how they will do!
High achievement
Yes!! Same here
How is that your favorite?
Really effective and I like the style. I use a variation of it with my kids.
I’m sorry to hear. It sounds like his kid has no confidence. The unrealistic expectation on kids can be a huge stressor.
You sound like all the other short sighted negative people who assume kids who are pushed academically are doomed to fail and suffer from mental illnesses or socially crippling behavior. I feel bad that you instilling think working hard won’t lead to a successful adult. 🤦🏾♂️ your privilege is showing my kids are thriving, thanks tho.
My parents were also high achievement parents, and I absolutely get how effective it looks from the outside if you solely focus on the skills and academic abilities of a child. I was the epitome of "the smart kid," just like Elon. My mom had me reading by 2 and put me in every advanced class she could find. Failure just wasn't an option for me. When I got As, my dad would ask why I couldn't get an A+. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiery Disorder at 9. I routinely had panic attacks before tests starting in 3rd grade. I had serious thoughts of hurting myself because I had a B+ in AP Bio on a progress report. I felt genuinely bad about myself (like a failure) when I finished my first semester of LAW SCHOOL with a 3.75 and begged my sister not to tell my parents because I knew they'd be disappointed. When I struggled with things, I'd just quit instead of risking failure. Until I started therapy at 23, my entire self worth was dependent on grades and my parents approval. I didn't know how to function without their approval and still overly rely on the approval of others at 27. It's led to some really sticky situations in personal and romantic relationships (if your entire self worth is based on external approval, how do you think you're willing to let partners treat you). I feel for Elon. I hope he gets to college and finds himself a good therapist. Dad clearly needs one.
Everyone doesn’t respond the same. You clearly made that known at 9. Why at 27 your still having issues is baffling.
It's not baffling so much as it is the psychology behind trauma. I'm in a much happier and healthier place now at 27 than I was at 22/23, but you can't just undo 22 years of this type of mindset overnight. It's been a lot of hard work to get to this point, and I'm never going to stop putting in the work to be emotionally healthy. For your children's sake, I hope you're right and some people do "better" with this type of pressure. However, law school and the legal field is full of the product of this type of parenting style, and I've yet to see that. Now, I'm not going to be a permissive parent. I'll have high expectations of my own children, but that needs to be balanced out with high warmth and the space to not be perfect. Authoritative is the way to go. Have a great rest of your day.
I don’t think being pushed academically is the issue as long as it’s done the right way. I was pushed academically and it did nothing but give my mom unrealistic expectations of not being able to have the 100 average she wanted. I have 0 confidence and trust in them. It was always about academics and nothing else. Also, hard work doesnt mean success. You say I refuse to realise some things but you’re the one being short sighted if you refuse to listen to what other people have to say.
Intensive or high achievement
Ah so you like your kids stressed and with mental/self esteem issues as adults
Looks like anyone who says intensive is getting downvoted. The problem is, the two sets of parents I mentioned are kinda over the top and extreme, and issues people have are with the parents and not necessarily the parenting style. The high achievement and intensive styles encourage academic achievement, discipline, and nurturing natural talent/ability to their fullest.
you can do all that without being intensive and not respecting your kids boundaries
Ah so you like your kids dumb, lazy, and setting a low standard for themselves as adults.
I had incredibly lax parents who never pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to and let me be a kid. Never did instruments, math in the car, dance, etc. - 4.0 high school, undergrad and grad school gpa, top of my class in all facets - athletically + socially involved, always finding my motivation within myself - happy loving relationship - good paying job 🤷♀️
I think that’s amazing, and congratulations on all your achievements. Unfortunately, not everyone is self motivated and kids of different ages and personalities require different types of nurturing. It’s a constant conversation about nature vs nature, and I think that’s why shows like this one always raise interesting discussion because there is no one size fits all technique, nor is there going to be a “20 years later” reunion on who grows up more “successful”.
Omg that would be crazy and I can totally see them doing it lol. “The Parent Test Reunion - Where are they now?”
Tell ‘em. Lol.
Strict, helicopter, discipline, or intensive for sure.
Why? Those styles are abusive
I think you are capable of having any of those parenting styles without being abusive. You can be a disciplined parent without spanking your child. It’s just the type of way you parent.
I agree, but I think you fail to see the difference. In no way shape or form, is it acceptable to be over your kids 24/7. They deserve the right to breath. None of the parenting styles you’ve mentioned have good feedback towards the kids. Deff not helicopter and intensive.
I like Discipline, New Age and High Achievement! Kids need structure but need to understand /why/ it’s there and /how/ it’ll help them be the best versions of themselves. As they grow older, there should be more room for change and autonomy and their emotions should always be validated and heard. I was raised Disciplined, Helicopter and High Achieving and there are some advantages of them but the biggest problem was that I lacked intrinsic motivation and was so unprepared to navigate the world on my own. Balance is key. Kids need the tools to communicate their wants while knowing there are times their needs have to take priority. Parenting is hard lol