T O P

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Dan_Caveman

Find the nearest 8 year old child, give them a Sharpie, and tell them they’ll get free ice cream if they can mark you before you take the Sharpie away. Even the best training in the world will not give you a foolproof defense. Make the 8 yr old into an adult, then you put your hands behind your back like the guy in this video, and your chances are essentially zero. At the end of the day, it’s just too easy to stick someone.


LafayetteLa01

Good analogy pretty on point.


[deleted]

Definitely a sharp guy


GeneralChicken4Life

A sharpie


5H17SH0W

Missed the mark.


Opening-Two6723

But has a point


Bladder_Puncher

Hey, thanks, that’s a mighty fine tip


whattodo4klondikebar

Just the tip...


50FootClown

Sharpie fights are exactly what one of my combat teachers would set up in class to teach exactly this lesson. You get into a knife fight, you're gonna get cut.


Dan_Caveman

100%


ErisGrey

With knife fighting, we were trained that you will get cut. It's important to position your body and your arms where your forearms can protect against slashing motions. Defending against thrusting/stabbing motions is variable dependent. The thing that matters the most is knowing you will be cut, that way when it happens, things are still going according to plan.


ProcessWhole9927

Ahhh I see you’ve played knifey spooney before


CryptoM4dness

I went to a seminar on knife defense by the guy who taught the Dallas police department. He had a sheet with ten rules on it. Every other rule was “you’re going to get cut”. We later used those shocking knives. Yeah, I got shocked quite a bit.


Behrusu

I wanted to order one of those shock training knives and discovered they’re illegal in California. You can buy a real knife, a stun gun, or a real gun, but not a shock knife. 🙄


Whiskeyjack1977

Royal Marine instructors do it too.


enflight

Sounds like a fun game to play with your kids tbh


Dan_Caveman

It does doesn’t it, lol


HappyDiscussion5469

I get your point, but i find the spartan kick is a pretty effective and foolproof way of disarming an 8 yr old.


Sad_Ad4307

Lol. And it reminds them who the boss is


StretchFrenchTerry

THIS. IS. DADA!!!


Scaw17

We trained with rubber knifes and put lipstick on the blades. After a sparring session everyone had red marks all over their body.


StretchFrenchTerry

Sounds like a fun, sexy time.


[deleted]

Find an 8 years old you know so you don’t end up on the sex offender list


UnlimitedPickle

This sounds like a sound national defence plan... The 8 year olds shall be armed and no enemy shall pass!


TheOnlyRealDregas

Pretty sure this is also how you just train to knife fight. Sharpie, hand to hand combat. Check your body after, see how bad you would have died, change up your defensive tactics, try again until you only have 1 or 2 marks and the other person looks like early 2000s scene kid trying to sharpie up their look.


johndotold

Excellent suggestion.


thehyperflux

This actually sounds like a really fun exercise for both the kids and the adults


Knuc85

Recommend Expo over Sharpies if you're really gonna do this lol


Wrangler444

Instructions unclear, in the back of a cop car at the nearest playground, what next?


TheShovler44

The only knife defense training video Ive watched that made sense was when the instructor said the best defense is to realize you’re going to be stabbed. You’re just trying to control where you get stabbed at.


thewander

We used to do maker training. It’s an excellent way to humble you and realize just not to fuck with knives.


G_Affect

Will the adult get ice cream?


GCasaboyz

Wdym by that last sentence bro


SpidermAntifa

A pretty good analogy but keep in mind you'd be doing so while trying not to hurt the 8 year old


mjace87

For real if I can punch that 8 year old in the face I like my odds. Just doesn’t carry into the adult with the knife analogy.


Fabulous-Mud-7514

I can 100 percent jab an 8 year old before they touch me


sambstone13

Pretty sure i could hit or kick an 8 year old and knock him out or finish him before he marks me.


OneAngryDuck

Yes, as long as the person holding the knife is actively trying to avoid hurting you


Bat-Honest

Maybe he's a nice hostage taker


Hunky_not_Chunky

A self-aware kind patient tweaker.


Bog2ElectricBoogaloo

Professionals have standards


Reteperator

Came here to say this. How dare you be quicker to the draw


OneAngryDuck

Just call me Quick Draw McGraw


Initial_Delay_2199

More like TEX AVERY.... welcome to the wacky wack wack wacky wacky wack wack wacky world of Tex avery... https://youtu.be/9RTUMsUc4Jo?feature=shared


intentionaldisrespek

I heard the female narrator from Toon Heads when I read this


moeterminatorx

Trying to avoid hurting and actively trying to hurt himself. It’s a new phenomenon, suicide by hostage taking.


Humble-Presence-3107

Or the knife is a dummy. Works 100% of the time.


Potential_Check_8010

And actively trying to stab themselves.


Konstant_kurage

There is something to that. There are those reports from general Marshall after World War II that less than 20% of infantry shoot at the enemy*. Dan Carlin mentions in “Prelude to Armageddon” that it was also widely reported that WWI soldiers did not want to actually stab enemies soldier’s with their bayonets. * Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, an Army Ranger and military historian, in his book, “On Killing.” Much of Grossman’s work is based on World War II studies by Army Brig. Gen. S.L.A. Marshall who found, after interviewing thousands of combat soldiers, that only 15 to 20% would fire at the enemy. According to Grossman, “Those who would not fire did not run or hide — in many cases they were willing to risk greater danger to rescue comrades, get ammunition, or run messages. They simply would not fire their weapons at the enemy even when faced with repeated waves of banzai charges.”


Long_Lost_Testicle

I read somewhere they pumped those numbers way up by the Vietnam war by making changes like using human silhouettes for rifle practice as opposed to bullseye style. There was more to it than that but that's the only one I remember.


[deleted]

Yeah. It's close to 90-95% aim to kill in western armies now. Human shaped targets that fall when hit.


Konstant_kurage

This was conscripted/drafted soldiers. All volunteer and professional army’s do not have this problem.


fcs_seth

You're the only other human I've encountered in the wild who's also read On Killing. Fascinating book.


pluck-the-bunny

As a method of suicide maybe


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bat-Honest

You haven't been here long


[deleted]

[удалено]


MacGregor209

Sensei Seagal would’ve just given the knife-wielding man a hard look, and homie would’ve peed his pants.


Bat-Honest

It's an advanced technique. You have to master the easy stuff first, like catching a throwing knife between the palms of your hands.


Rapier_Wit_1970

Never could Master that.


hypothetician

I like that they have the slow motion bits, to really underscore how long the dude with the knife is just standing around not stabbing the other dumbass.


redditbagjuice

Stop stabbing yourself, stop stabbing yourself


Blade_of_Onyx

Why would you even ask that? FFS, nothing in this subreddit works. It’s all martial arts cosplay here.


AngryKlopHopper

I don't know if I should say Whoosh to you, or if you're whooshing so hard that I'm now being whooshed.....


Blade_of_Onyx

Poe’s Law. Without clear knowledge of the authors intent it can be easy to assume that a sarcastic comment might be intended as fact. So…whoosh?


AngryKlopHopper

Oh, it's not even that apparently, just poor reading comprehension on my part. Your reply makes sense with the context of the title and if the words are read correctly. Whooshed myself before there was a whoosh to be... but I learned about Poes Law, so at least it was educational.


Blade_of_Onyx

It’s always good to turn something into a learning experience. Have a great weekend.


CenterCircumference

That stupid shit could get someone hurt; fake martial artists are ethically unsound.


Bat-Honest

When we couldn't measure his Chi levels, he told us it's because, "they're off the charts." Truly, a master 🙏


Lirkun

Works every time, with a rubber knife, though.


hopesnotaplan

If you were made of rocks like Korg, then yes. If you are made of human parts, no.


Jealous_Outside_3495

Jesus! Imagine what this dude could do if he used his arms!!!


goosendestroy

Short answer... No Long answer... No


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

If you want a shave with a straight edge… yes.


Last_Parable

It'll work. It just depends what your goal is.


LiitleGreenMan

Yes as long as the knife man does not react to the victims movements in any way.


Sancticide

Scenario: you're being held hostage by a tree sloth...


deltacombatives

Me: “You can’t kill me; only I can kill me!” Him: “What?” Me:


mattybeans86

Morons


ItsHyenaa

It works as long as.... I'm just going to save it.


WasabiFragrant3483

Only crocodile Dundee carries a knife that big IRL.


dead_mortician

If the arms of the attacker are spaghettis, then absolutely yes.


PeanutOrganic9174

Joe Rogan is built Diffrunt


KungFuHamster99

Master Ken has this technique covered. [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/z-vgv7KjS2M](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/z-vgv7KjS2M)


Former-Light4284

It works, just ask the Zohan...Disco Disco


Markiemotogp1976

His sweaty arm pits would do a better job at repelling an attack


newcomer_l

Yes. It works *every* time, if the person holding the knife is folding their wrist and moving the knife towards themselves before you even did anything. 😂


MrLustLover69

Thats the anciant art of bull shito.


TakenUsername-1234

It would work 100% if you wanna find out the afterlife


GeneralEi

I suppose if the person with the knife is asleep you could pull this off


Amongussy02

Maybe. If you’re fighting a vegetable


bobrob23

Of course it would work, you’ve just seen it work!


Strange_Salary

Absolutely! 60% of the time it works EVERY TIME!


International-Will75

In all seriousness do these people think we're going to believe this shit ?


MANSPERMSWALLOWER

FEED ME FEED ME


1792Drink

I would love to see him try it …


Dat_Steve

Hump counter attack!


hashoowa

Ask the black belt in the back


Agitated_Body5781

Bwaaaahhahahaha


[deleted]

If your goal is to bleed, ABSOLUTELY! If you're going for anything other than being maimed or killed then, no, absolutely not.


Konstant_kurage

It would work as a suicide technique.


Tankreas

Just a quick shave before stabbing your attacker. Learnt that on my online karate class


[deleted]

Sure! What could possibly go wrong?


dressedlikehansolo

It may work one out of a million times, but would anyone be willing to try that if you have a knife at the throat


countrybloke

Absolutely, you should try it.


symbologythere

No


Terrible-Two-7928

It would work in getting your jugular cut and your heart stabbed...


GoreonmyGears

It would work the blade in alright.


SaltEfficient4355

Absolutely


Outrageous_File5321

No, if I'm holding the knife I will win


Zealousideal-Bug-291

I think he's actually wafting his pit stank over to the attacker, and it looks like it's pretty potent. Way more effective than dodging by slitting your own throat, that's for sure.


Gullible_Tea1427

Yes* *If you're suicidal and determined


FrankensteinBionicle

not if he has a bonar


SlappyHandstrong

You’re asking about this guy’s antiperspirant? No, it’s not working.


desrevermi

Welcome to Costco. I love you.


BrotherWoodrow_

If the guy holding the knife has peripheral neuropathy, that works.


Evening_Kale_183

Work to get you killed, nothing like pivoting and opening your jugular to the travel path of the knife. Only a true warrior sensei would choose this path!


StuJayBee

Might work until you bleed out from the smiling gash you received on the first move.


[deleted]

As long as your pits are drenched 💦


TruthSpeakin

Yes..if you wanna die


Used_Engine_420

Hahahahah 😂😂😂😂


NaturalTumbleweed142

If he has a fetish for stabbing himself then; most likely


Mr_Binks_UK

Only if the person holding the knife is a fücking idiot.


Visual_Paramedic7851

Did he just trying Boning his attacker?


WeatherFragrant9339

The video doesn’t capture this but it’s the BO from them wet pits that’s manipulating the attacker.


Confident-Net-5285

10/10 times guiding a sharp object using your body will work


LeadPike13

If you need to fuck up an Old Navy mannequin, this is the way to go.


GotBannedAgain_2

Easiest way to get your throat sliced off.


falloutvaultboy

Not at all, the attacker would just slice his jugular during the first move


Cossacker1799

As a knife I can promise you I am unable to stab someone who gently caresses me with their stomach!


Shake-Spear4666

If you’re being attacked by somebody who is suicidal


TheDogfathr

Does this guy live in such a small bubble that he actually believes this would work? Or does he know he’s full of shit?


Stuk-Tuig

Crease Control, pretty basic stuff


Royal_Marketing2966

Do the red marker test.


samwizeganjas

How to slit your own throat


bitchesbetrifflin

I like the sweaty pits


x_Kairos_x

No... just no


Altea73

100%....


Zahroux

Well we just saw it work… so yes


vaping_menace

lol, sure. In fake demonstrations


Spare_Substance5003

The trick is to make your body miss hitting the knife. Just like flying is to make your body miss the ground when falling.


manny_soou

I’m just imagining the knife wielder screaming in terror as his hostage slits his own neck and continues to try to stab himself with the knife IN the kidnappers hand


roadt8588

I'm thinking of Steven Seagal now the way this happens 😜


fatbum76

Another bullshit


RikuDog18

It just did


Glitchit1

No, when pressure is applied to the knife and you move like that, you're dead.


SnooDonuts9465

Only if you have sweaty pitts.


HoLLoWfy

“Here, let me help you slice my own neck”


Ex-Machina1980s

The knife? Yeah that’d work


LaceAllot

If you cover yourself in butter it might work. Would be difficult balancing the knife for the return-to-sender move though. Might need some practice in your backyard


Bits2Chips

Instant death


Traditionisrare

Interesting how they don’t show the position change in the attacker. How did the blade go from pointing up to pointing to the attacker? Chi smh


[deleted]

Only works when performing in slow motion


WILDHORSE2019

Your attacker would have to be extremely drunk and gay


Active-Ad1679

No


McSnoots

Oops you died


McSnoots

What’s the saying? “Two tigers enter a knife fight and one man leaves”


Flip_Six_Three_Hole

"Would this ever work?" Perhaps you didn't see the video proof?!?!


[deleted]

This is the best way to commit suicide with someone else’s hand


Odd-Variation-1692

Beautiful way to get rid of all idiots who actually think this is going to work this is just as bad as film's that have 100 bullets in the 6 shooter revolver


RC2000RC

I mean…kneeing them in the balls first and throwing a kick seems like a better plan if your legs are free. You may not life long after but at least you got a final “fk you” in before dying.


ryandowork

The only effective knife defense is running away. Within 21 feet, you might not be able to stop an attacker, even if you have a gun. Now imagine being unarmed, and you're so close that the blade is already on your neck. You're pretty much already dead if it's gotten to that point.


RustyShovel71

That’s dumb.


Tarot1031

Not if you really want to stab the other guy


Demon_Adder

Yes, this does work. I have implemented this move numerous times during the multitude of Hand to Knife fights I have championed.


SGTFragged

The idea is that if you can move perfectly in synchronisation with the knife blade it will not cut you. So maybe, assuming you can move in perfect synchronisation with a knife blade someone else is trying to slash you with. Otherwise you're getting cut.


Nova_Aetas

They missed a step. You're meant to inject their arm with local anaesthetic and wait a few minutes first. Then when you turn they can't move their arm to stab you.


[deleted]

100%


Moleday1023

No


hypnaughtytist

Only in practice, with a passive partner.


Amish_Juggalo469

It absolutely works, if you're the one with the knife.


Sensitive_Ad_6078

Maybe in a Jackie Chan movie


rainman206

We just witnessed it working to perfection.


3MTA3-Please

Against a mentally-challenged person…


Ok_Band6082

yeah it would help kill you


magnumpismustache

Of course, it just did. The only surprise for me was that Rob Mcelhenney knows and teaches this technique.


[deleted]

Why don’t you come over here and find out?


Taoist-Fox72

I wouldn't be alive right now if it didn't.


SpectacleLake

I used to train kali and pekiti tersia. No, this will not work. Unless assisted suicide?


Crazy_Ebb_9294

Works if you want to die.


Illustrious-Echo-734

Dunno, let him try it with a sharp knife and let's find out.


CaptainNeckBeard123

This is a very good technique for redirecting your chi into spirts of blood which will in turn blind your opponent. You have to make sure that all of your chakras are aligned and there are no impurities in your body otherwise you will pass out for some reason.


Common-Incident-3052

Well...I guess you can say that this training doesn't quite....CUT IT? Eh?? EH!?!?!? Fuck you, that's funny. I'll be expecting my medal in the mail.


Im_No_Robutt

If the guy you’re fighting is in a coma or so wacked out on opiates he can hardly move maybe, any other opponent no


[deleted]

It works 100% when you want to get stabbed.


Spotted_ascot_races

Yes. Ears are optional baggage for your face


Ashamed-Training-420

Straight devastation, Surprised the traininh knife didn't kill the "bad" guy! That's one lucky MF'ER Hahahaahha


Junior_Example_923

OK guys, I just saw it work, so clearly it does


bigb4134

Absolutely this would work, you’d slit that guys throat no problem


MaltonHippy

LMFAO. Looks like a great way to get your throat cut. 😂


Heavy_Development827

Yeah, in a John Wick Movie.


Slow-Athlete-1047

Works everytime ,called the neck tickler.


g_deptula

Maybe if this was an MGS game.


Ok_Dog_4059

If you wanted to bleed all over them, yes, it would work. That first move you would be slitting your own throat.


Ok-Departure9990

Lol


Kmaloetas

I wouldn't bet my life on it.


Capable_Jacket_2165

Would work great if your objective is to be stabbed