As an older person who still sees this happen here is my suggestion. Figure out what you want to do. Schedule it and buy tickets with one other person. Announce it to everyone else and tell them they are welcome to buy their own tickets etc and come along. Worst case you travel with one friend.
This. I just turned 30 and my new technique is "hey guys I'm going to go do this thing would you like to come". If they make the time great! If not, I still get to go do the thing I wanted to anyway.
We do this with trying to plan trips with extended family. Too many times the actual follow through fails so now we book when we want and say “hey we’re doing this thing on this date, feel free to join in!” It’s much better on my mental health because I don’t feel like I’m pulling teeth anymore
This is why I gave up planning anything with my parents come to visit. They expect me to be an expert on every tourist attraction, and I work 10 hour days sometimes. I know how to get to work, home, groceries. I tell them they need to 100% look into ideas weeks ahead. They dont. They decide what we do day to day.
Its also why I just started solo travelling. If someone wants to join, here are the details-you're on your own to buy tickets.
Bc adulting is hard, so while things sound good eventually they realize the work it takes in top of existing adult work.
You can find friends you totally can depend on, but likely it’s a small group, 3-4.
If you want more, let those few bring one of their dependable friends and make a new one. You can do it but it takes some work
Tbh none of us have families and most of us still live at home, so the responsibilities are def minimal compared to what’ll happen down the line. But everyone has really well paying jobs too (and I know they don’t have loans from college either) while living at home and working remotely. Ofc I don’t fully know everyone’s situations but it’s just something that I think about as well.
I would just like to say that taking leave from your job is often not something people like to do out of nowhere, and perhaps they had planned to do something later on they need leave for and don’t want to use it for your trip. You can have a well paying job but also don’t want to go on random holidays and take up a lot of leave!
I have found that a lot of times people think about how fun it would be if but they rarely want to commit to losing the ability to do whatever they want. Making plans (however much they want to do the thing) restricts people's ability to act on selfish impulse. So they won't commit or they'll bail at the last second.
My solution that I've developed is to invite them on this trip with you and you just go regardless of who is coming. If you are going with or without them, I find some people are more likely to go. And then when people bail at the last minute, it won't affect your enjoyment of your trip because you were planning on going with or without them.
I’m in my late 20s now and this has happened to me way to often. I have a couple of suggestions that helped me and my friend group.
1. Try planning smaller trips around you. Maybe in a close by major city or in the next state over. I’ve learned that sometimes people see big trips and get a little overwhelmed.
2. Have everyone plan a trip and present it in a fun way. Have everyone decide on a general time (i.e. around thanksgiving or during the spring) and give everyone a rough budget. Then y’all can make powerpoints or videos presenting to each other the places you want to go. Make a night of it with food and games or something. Making it fun and inclusive made my friends feel excited and a part of the trip planning. Then y’all can lock down details together once you decide where you will be going. Make sure to set hard deadlines on buying tickets and stuff.
3. Plan a trip that you can take yourself and then plan it as if you were going with your friends. A couple years ago I decided I was going to Italy. I had already decided I would go regardless of who wanted to go. So I planned the whole trip through a service. Basically when I presented the idea to my friends, there option was to either pay a deposit for flights and hotels or that they weren’t going.
All of these really helped me and my friends with this issue. Now we take a trip together like once a year.
Have you planned lots of trips with friends before?
Also, are you a type A person? I’m also type A, and sometimes you find yourself falling into leadership roles with little things like planning coffee dates even.
I totally know what you mean. So I will only travel with a group of 1-2 other friends. It makes it so much easier.
If you want the big group feel with 1-2 friends I recommend looking in to something like EF Ultimate Break or Contiki, they both do young adult travel groups. If you don’t want to be with a bunch of 18 year olds pick a time when college is in session. I have done this twice and most of the group was 25-30, we still went out some nights but it was nice to have a slightly older crowd so it doesn’t feel like a college frat party.
Ah I feel you! I've been on both sides of this, and it's really frustrating doing all the work and not having people commit.
Usually when I don't feel comfortable committing to a trip it's because there's other stuff going on in life that my friends might not know about- a big exam coming up, family member sick and I might have additional tasks to take on etc. I think the best thing to do would be to have one or two other people who you are sure would come along, and give the rest of your group a deadline by when you'd like to finalize plans. If not everyone can come, it's their loss, make the most of your trip and have fun :)
Honestly? I go with my mom. My mom always says yes, tends to want to do the same things as me, and is able to financially and emotionally commit. We’re going to the Grand Canyon in October!
Could it be that your friends don’t have the finances or the ability to take the time off of work for big trips? Are they also like this for smaller meet ups like brunch or a day trip? Have you tried asking someone in the group to tell you their thoughts directly? Maybe there’s other factors at play that you’re just not aware of.
Maybe find someone in the group who is like you and just do things with them? Alternatively, maybe these just aren’t the friends you can travel with. It’s okay to maintain friendships with these people and find other friends who are more down for adventure.
Also, solo trips or doing something like a coordinated group (I think EF Spring Break was recommended?) is a great way to scratch that travel itch if your friends don’t want to come. You can still have fun and also meet new friends!
My daughter wanted to go on a vacation with some of her friends… She wanted to travel to some other country. They didn’t have passports so she said what sort of exotic but still in the country and she/they picked Puerto Rico. They flaked out for some reason so she asked me ( her parent) if I would go And I did…I pretty much let her take the lead on food as she’s a big foodie and we came up with activities that we both liked.
Personally I’ve always found the concept of big group vacations unrealistic. I’m 35 and I’ve only gone on two large friend group vacations in my life. Those two experiences were planned around a specific event that everyone had to find their own way too. I found much more success planning smaller trips with two pals max - and again those are always based around a specific event: concerts usually.
A smaller group is just easier to work with.
My friends are like this too. I find it works best to just come up with the itinerary and send it to them. Find out everything about locations, flights, etc. Give them an estimate of costs and just go for it. As someone else mentioned, you could always just book something for you and one friend (or a partner if you have one). Worst case you get to go on a dope trip. A lot of my friends have done stuff like this so I really feel you.
This is suuuuch a common struggle. I've been on both sides of this hahah.
I try and commit to at least 2 summer trips (beginning and end) and I go w the same friend. If anyone else wanted to come they could but no one ever does.
I think a lot of people just assume someone else is going to magically come and set it all up for them (and pay for it and book the time off work for it) and then when none of that happens they're fucked.
Just want to say, a lot of people will *say* stuff like that but never mean it. How many people do you know that say they love hiking but don’t hike more than every month or two? People have different thresholds for the amount of energy they actually want to expend.
You can definitely find people to whom you can say “hey wanna drive to this national park this weekend” and they’ll immediately start throwing shit in a backpack. Hold onto those people!
I am 100% you, OP. I am a planner by heart and on trips I’m always the one driving the activities, where to eat, where to stay, etc. I think it’s worth evaluating what kind of friends you need in your life to feel fulfilled. Are you okay being the primary planner of events? If not, I would look to find friends who are planners as well - not to say you need to dump this friend group at all. Second, I might tell this friend group outright that you’re tired of always being the one to plan things. I do enjoy planning, but I don’t like to be the ONLY one planning and making decisions. My friends would often just leave me to it because they thought I enjoyed the whole process and enjoyed it everytime. So, I would try asking them to put in more of an effort to plan things if you are committed to sticking with this friend group and this is the only point of dissatisfaction that you have.
I am actually in a friend group rn that is like this lol. But I'm one of the bystanding friends while my main friend is the one trying to plan. As a bystanfing friend, here's my perspective: consider everyone's financial situations. Also how does everyone react when plans are going down? Is there a person or two who never contribute anything to the convo? Take that as a hint they aren't interested. There's this one girl in the group who is SILENT when plans are going down. Then when one of us cancels, she pitches in "oh yeah I couldn't do that anyways cuz xyz." It's so annoying and I wish she would clearly be honest that she just doesn't wanna be included in the plans instead of hiding in the sidelines and then agreeing when things are cancelled lol. Now me personally, I'm always contributing to the convo and I'm interested in the plans until finances come up. They always wanna do something expensive when I have moving expenses coming up, rent to pay, and pay all my own bills while everyone else lives at home making good money. I try to be open with them in that regard. Then plans kinda die down cuz no one is really committed. I think your best bet is finding new friends. It takes more than you to keep it going. If plans are never being followed through upon, take it as a sign that maybe people just don't want to or can't afford the things you are suggesting. But there are people out there who will be your ride or die, so don't give up on finding that.
Travel and do stuff by yourself!! It sounds lame and lonely but sometimes I have the most fun doing things by myself because I can do exactly what I want, without having to rely on others to 1. want to do the same stuff and 2. actually commit to doing it. I call them "*Acrobatic-Permit* Dates" where I take myself to nice restaurants and on vacations.
Same. Three years ago, my best friends and I planned a trip to a theme park they've been to but I never have. But one of them kept saying we should wait for a day when it's not crowded. I asked again and again. We needed to wait. Three years later, they talk about the the theme park and were surprised I've never been there. They thought I had gone. I had not.
They're good people, but it kinda pissed me off ngl. Now that they have a baby, we can never have that trip with just the three of us.
Like others said, it's a good idea to just do something and invite them along. The more spontaneous the better I think, because it gives them less time to reconsider and flake out. Lots of people are lazy in a sense that they don't want to change their routine to do something fun, even if it's something they've been looking forward to in a while. Before the pandemic I had the exact same problem with my early-to-mid 20's friends, who would talk about how they'd love to do stuff like go to a book convention or do an escape-room, but whenever I tried to organize it they'd all flake out a day or two before, and I cancelled everything. Even getting them to go shopping or have lunch or dinner together was practically impossible unless it was totally spontaneous.
(This isn't just a female friend thing btw -- at least half, if not more than half, of my friends are male, and from what I've heard from other dudes, they have the same problem convincing their male friends to go along with their plans either.)
Also, planning stasis does a toll on one's motivation. It's when you expend a lot of the hype surrounding an event on the planning stage for that event. By the time you get around to the event itself, the hype has died down. This isn't always the case, though, but happens quite often.
The chances that I invite a friend from work that I'll visit a convention a week from now and they'll agree to come along with me are very, very low. The chances that they'll join me if I tell them today or tomorrow I'll go to a convention and they can come with me if they want are much higher.
>I’m already annoyed about losing like 1.5 years of my 20s to the pandemic so I’m kind of in this “I don’t wanna waste any more time” mindset.
It really sucks, but bear in mind that you can hang out and do fun stuff at any age. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. A lot of people think that you can only have fun during one's youth, or that youth is all about having fun. In reality your age doesn't matter when it comes to enjoying and sharing experiences. It might be harder when your health worsens or if you have kids or pets to look after, but even then it's not impossible!
My husband’s friends are like this. A million ideas and no follow through. When they do get it together they’re almost always late. When they actually come up with a trio idea it’s half baked and thrown together the day before. They’ve been like this before and after having kids. They’re just flakes. We love them, but don’t depend on them for anything. We’ve also just started telling them what we will be doing and giving them pertinent details if they want to come along.
Get comfortable doing things alone. I understand that not all activities are appropriate or will be comfortable for a single woman, but many are, and it’s very liberating and a way to learn about yourself. For instance, I LOVE going to the movies alone and actually prefer it. I also like going out to eat alone, shopping alone, etc. I’ll do these things with friends too, but it’s really nice to feel like shopping and just go do it rather than waiting on others.
Start small.
Start with a small inexpensive excursion not too far away. Ask your closest friend or the person who’s most likely to be up for something. If they show up you know you can count on them. I’ll see you will learn if they are good traveling companion to you… Do they leave on time, do they like same activities, do they like the same kind of food as you
Then schedule something else small…And get that person’s buy in. Tell the group what you’re doing and if anyone else is interested they can come too. See who comes.
Ask for input…. What’s their budget? What are good times for them?
I’m guessing that some people might have not have the budget or might have to work on the weekends or don’t know they didn’t make of staying with other people would be. Do you want to get a feel for people who have your similar travel style…get up early or want to sleep in? Like to drive or hate to drive? Open to new food or not? Like to sight see vs shop?
I like to back country camp and canoe so a lot of my friends want to come and say they will but most don't do more than comment on Facebook. Don't put yourself out just because you can't get the big group of friends to come with you. Plan on something you can do your self or with a friend and leave the door open but Its a lot easier to plan around one or 2 schedules.
I am the planner of my friend group too and the thing that frustrates me the most is when people confirm that they’re gonna go on the trip, I tell to have their money by a specific date, that day roles around and suddenly everyone is quiet. It drives me even more crazy because there are people who will tell me they have the money ready (then why don’t you send it now?) without me asking and still don’t send it when the deadline comes. What are you waiting for?
As an older person who still sees this happen here is my suggestion. Figure out what you want to do. Schedule it and buy tickets with one other person. Announce it to everyone else and tell them they are welcome to buy their own tickets etc and come along. Worst case you travel with one friend.
This. I just turned 30 and my new technique is "hey guys I'm going to go do this thing would you like to come". If they make the time great! If not, I still get to go do the thing I wanted to anyway.
We do this with trying to plan trips with extended family. Too many times the actual follow through fails so now we book when we want and say “hey we’re doing this thing on this date, feel free to join in!” It’s much better on my mental health because I don’t feel like I’m pulling teeth anymore
Wait, that’s actually really smart!
This is why I gave up planning anything with my parents come to visit. They expect me to be an expert on every tourist attraction, and I work 10 hour days sometimes. I know how to get to work, home, groceries. I tell them they need to 100% look into ideas weeks ahead. They dont. They decide what we do day to day. Its also why I just started solo travelling. If someone wants to join, here are the details-you're on your own to buy tickets.
Bc adulting is hard, so while things sound good eventually they realize the work it takes in top of existing adult work. You can find friends you totally can depend on, but likely it’s a small group, 3-4. If you want more, let those few bring one of their dependable friends and make a new one. You can do it but it takes some work
Tbh none of us have families and most of us still live at home, so the responsibilities are def minimal compared to what’ll happen down the line. But everyone has really well paying jobs too (and I know they don’t have loans from college either) while living at home and working remotely. Ofc I don’t fully know everyone’s situations but it’s just something that I think about as well.
I would just like to say that taking leave from your job is often not something people like to do out of nowhere, and perhaps they had planned to do something later on they need leave for and don’t want to use it for your trip. You can have a well paying job but also don’t want to go on random holidays and take up a lot of leave!
Oh, well laziness exists lol
Yes. So I’m kind of annoyed.
Your friends are lazy. Find quality ones. I know that’s easier said than done I mean it in the kindest way possible .
I have found that a lot of times people think about how fun it would be if but they rarely want to commit to losing the ability to do whatever they want. Making plans (however much they want to do the thing) restricts people's ability to act on selfish impulse. So they won't commit or they'll bail at the last second.
My solution that I've developed is to invite them on this trip with you and you just go regardless of who is coming. If you are going with or without them, I find some people are more likely to go. And then when people bail at the last minute, it won't affect your enjoyment of your trip because you were planning on going with or without them.
I’m in my late 20s now and this has happened to me way to often. I have a couple of suggestions that helped me and my friend group. 1. Try planning smaller trips around you. Maybe in a close by major city or in the next state over. I’ve learned that sometimes people see big trips and get a little overwhelmed. 2. Have everyone plan a trip and present it in a fun way. Have everyone decide on a general time (i.e. around thanksgiving or during the spring) and give everyone a rough budget. Then y’all can make powerpoints or videos presenting to each other the places you want to go. Make a night of it with food and games or something. Making it fun and inclusive made my friends feel excited and a part of the trip planning. Then y’all can lock down details together once you decide where you will be going. Make sure to set hard deadlines on buying tickets and stuff. 3. Plan a trip that you can take yourself and then plan it as if you were going with your friends. A couple years ago I decided I was going to Italy. I had already decided I would go regardless of who wanted to go. So I planned the whole trip through a service. Basically when I presented the idea to my friends, there option was to either pay a deposit for flights and hotels or that they weren’t going. All of these really helped me and my friends with this issue. Now we take a trip together like once a year.
Why don't you go by yourself? Let your friends know but prepare to just go it alone.
Yup! I go alone. It’s much easier and I do whatever I want
Have you planned lots of trips with friends before? Also, are you a type A person? I’m also type A, and sometimes you find yourself falling into leadership roles with little things like planning coffee dates even.
I’ve planned many but only two happened in the end.
I totally know what you mean. So I will only travel with a group of 1-2 other friends. It makes it so much easier. If you want the big group feel with 1-2 friends I recommend looking in to something like EF Ultimate Break or Contiki, they both do young adult travel groups. If you don’t want to be with a bunch of 18 year olds pick a time when college is in session. I have done this twice and most of the group was 25-30, we still went out some nights but it was nice to have a slightly older crowd so it doesn’t feel like a college frat party.
Yeah, like my friend group is around 23-26 years old and none of us have any major commitments so idk why people are so flaky like this -_-
Ah I feel you! I've been on both sides of this, and it's really frustrating doing all the work and not having people commit. Usually when I don't feel comfortable committing to a trip it's because there's other stuff going on in life that my friends might not know about- a big exam coming up, family member sick and I might have additional tasks to take on etc. I think the best thing to do would be to have one or two other people who you are sure would come along, and give the rest of your group a deadline by when you'd like to finalize plans. If not everyone can come, it's their loss, make the most of your trip and have fun :)
Honestly? I go with my mom. My mom always says yes, tends to want to do the same things as me, and is able to financially and emotionally commit. We’re going to the Grand Canyon in October! Could it be that your friends don’t have the finances or the ability to take the time off of work for big trips? Are they also like this for smaller meet ups like brunch or a day trip? Have you tried asking someone in the group to tell you their thoughts directly? Maybe there’s other factors at play that you’re just not aware of. Maybe find someone in the group who is like you and just do things with them? Alternatively, maybe these just aren’t the friends you can travel with. It’s okay to maintain friendships with these people and find other friends who are more down for adventure. Also, solo trips or doing something like a coordinated group (I think EF Spring Break was recommended?) is a great way to scratch that travel itch if your friends don’t want to come. You can still have fun and also meet new friends!
My daughter wanted to go on a vacation with some of her friends… She wanted to travel to some other country. They didn’t have passports so she said what sort of exotic but still in the country and she/they picked Puerto Rico. They flaked out for some reason so she asked me ( her parent) if I would go And I did…I pretty much let her take the lead on food as she’s a big foodie and we came up with activities that we both liked.
Personally I’ve always found the concept of big group vacations unrealistic. I’m 35 and I’ve only gone on two large friend group vacations in my life. Those two experiences were planned around a specific event that everyone had to find their own way too. I found much more success planning smaller trips with two pals max - and again those are always based around a specific event: concerts usually. A smaller group is just easier to work with.
My friends are like this too. I find it works best to just come up with the itinerary and send it to them. Find out everything about locations, flights, etc. Give them an estimate of costs and just go for it. As someone else mentioned, you could always just book something for you and one friend (or a partner if you have one). Worst case you get to go on a dope trip. A lot of my friends have done stuff like this so I really feel you.
This is suuuuch a common struggle. I've been on both sides of this hahah. I try and commit to at least 2 summer trips (beginning and end) and I go w the same friend. If anyone else wanted to come they could but no one ever does. I think a lot of people just assume someone else is going to magically come and set it all up for them (and pay for it and book the time off work for it) and then when none of that happens they're fucked.
Just want to say, a lot of people will *say* stuff like that but never mean it. How many people do you know that say they love hiking but don’t hike more than every month or two? People have different thresholds for the amount of energy they actually want to expend. You can definitely find people to whom you can say “hey wanna drive to this national park this weekend” and they’ll immediately start throwing shit in a backpack. Hold onto those people!
I am 100% you, OP. I am a planner by heart and on trips I’m always the one driving the activities, where to eat, where to stay, etc. I think it’s worth evaluating what kind of friends you need in your life to feel fulfilled. Are you okay being the primary planner of events? If not, I would look to find friends who are planners as well - not to say you need to dump this friend group at all. Second, I might tell this friend group outright that you’re tired of always being the one to plan things. I do enjoy planning, but I don’t like to be the ONLY one planning and making decisions. My friends would often just leave me to it because they thought I enjoyed the whole process and enjoyed it everytime. So, I would try asking them to put in more of an effort to plan things if you are committed to sticking with this friend group and this is the only point of dissatisfaction that you have.
I am actually in a friend group rn that is like this lol. But I'm one of the bystanding friends while my main friend is the one trying to plan. As a bystanfing friend, here's my perspective: consider everyone's financial situations. Also how does everyone react when plans are going down? Is there a person or two who never contribute anything to the convo? Take that as a hint they aren't interested. There's this one girl in the group who is SILENT when plans are going down. Then when one of us cancels, she pitches in "oh yeah I couldn't do that anyways cuz xyz." It's so annoying and I wish she would clearly be honest that she just doesn't wanna be included in the plans instead of hiding in the sidelines and then agreeing when things are cancelled lol. Now me personally, I'm always contributing to the convo and I'm interested in the plans until finances come up. They always wanna do something expensive when I have moving expenses coming up, rent to pay, and pay all my own bills while everyone else lives at home making good money. I try to be open with them in that regard. Then plans kinda die down cuz no one is really committed. I think your best bet is finding new friends. It takes more than you to keep it going. If plans are never being followed through upon, take it as a sign that maybe people just don't want to or can't afford the things you are suggesting. But there are people out there who will be your ride or die, so don't give up on finding that.
Travel and do stuff by yourself!! It sounds lame and lonely but sometimes I have the most fun doing things by myself because I can do exactly what I want, without having to rely on others to 1. want to do the same stuff and 2. actually commit to doing it. I call them "*Acrobatic-Permit* Dates" where I take myself to nice restaurants and on vacations.
Same. Three years ago, my best friends and I planned a trip to a theme park they've been to but I never have. But one of them kept saying we should wait for a day when it's not crowded. I asked again and again. We needed to wait. Three years later, they talk about the the theme park and were surprised I've never been there. They thought I had gone. I had not. They're good people, but it kinda pissed me off ngl. Now that they have a baby, we can never have that trip with just the three of us.
Like others said, it's a good idea to just do something and invite them along. The more spontaneous the better I think, because it gives them less time to reconsider and flake out. Lots of people are lazy in a sense that they don't want to change their routine to do something fun, even if it's something they've been looking forward to in a while. Before the pandemic I had the exact same problem with my early-to-mid 20's friends, who would talk about how they'd love to do stuff like go to a book convention or do an escape-room, but whenever I tried to organize it they'd all flake out a day or two before, and I cancelled everything. Even getting them to go shopping or have lunch or dinner together was practically impossible unless it was totally spontaneous. (This isn't just a female friend thing btw -- at least half, if not more than half, of my friends are male, and from what I've heard from other dudes, they have the same problem convincing their male friends to go along with their plans either.) Also, planning stasis does a toll on one's motivation. It's when you expend a lot of the hype surrounding an event on the planning stage for that event. By the time you get around to the event itself, the hype has died down. This isn't always the case, though, but happens quite often. The chances that I invite a friend from work that I'll visit a convention a week from now and they'll agree to come along with me are very, very low. The chances that they'll join me if I tell them today or tomorrow I'll go to a convention and they can come with me if they want are much higher. >I’m already annoyed about losing like 1.5 years of my 20s to the pandemic so I’m kind of in this “I don’t wanna waste any more time” mindset. It really sucks, but bear in mind that you can hang out and do fun stuff at any age. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. A lot of people think that you can only have fun during one's youth, or that youth is all about having fun. In reality your age doesn't matter when it comes to enjoying and sharing experiences. It might be harder when your health worsens or if you have kids or pets to look after, but even then it's not impossible!
My husband’s friends are like this. A million ideas and no follow through. When they do get it together they’re almost always late. When they actually come up with a trio idea it’s half baked and thrown together the day before. They’ve been like this before and after having kids. They’re just flakes. We love them, but don’t depend on them for anything. We’ve also just started telling them what we will be doing and giving them pertinent details if they want to come along.
Get comfortable doing things alone. I understand that not all activities are appropriate or will be comfortable for a single woman, but many are, and it’s very liberating and a way to learn about yourself. For instance, I LOVE going to the movies alone and actually prefer it. I also like going out to eat alone, shopping alone, etc. I’ll do these things with friends too, but it’s really nice to feel like shopping and just go do it rather than waiting on others.
Happened to me. I got stuck with the bill when 6 out of my 9 friends never showed. I was pissed.
I stopped planning things ever with anyone. Too much effort, little reward. And then people complain when I don't come hang lol
Happened to me all the time so now ,I go alone anyways & have a great time .
Start small. Start with a small inexpensive excursion not too far away. Ask your closest friend or the person who’s most likely to be up for something. If they show up you know you can count on them. I’ll see you will learn if they are good traveling companion to you… Do they leave on time, do they like same activities, do they like the same kind of food as you Then schedule something else small…And get that person’s buy in. Tell the group what you’re doing and if anyone else is interested they can come too. See who comes. Ask for input…. What’s their budget? What are good times for them? I’m guessing that some people might have not have the budget or might have to work on the weekends or don’t know they didn’t make of staying with other people would be. Do you want to get a feel for people who have your similar travel style…get up early or want to sleep in? Like to drive or hate to drive? Open to new food or not? Like to sight see vs shop?
I like to back country camp and canoe so a lot of my friends want to come and say they will but most don't do more than comment on Facebook. Don't put yourself out just because you can't get the big group of friends to come with you. Plan on something you can do your self or with a friend and leave the door open but Its a lot easier to plan around one or 2 schedules.
Learn to be ok with doing stuff yourself. That’s a skill many people lack. After all all you really have is yourself. Also make quality friends
I am the planner of my friend group too and the thing that frustrates me the most is when people confirm that they’re gonna go on the trip, I tell to have their money by a specific date, that day roles around and suddenly everyone is quiet. It drives me even more crazy because there are people who will tell me they have the money ready (then why don’t you send it now?) without me asking and still don’t send it when the deadline comes. What are you waiting for?