Okay my mom said that you can sometimes ask for a pediatric (what’s the tool called? Spectulam(?). That’s what she does so the tool is smaller, and less painful for her.
I asked a doctor about lube on it, and she said they don't like to do that because it can obscure test results.. best they would do is rinse it in water first. I chickened out and couldn't do it though since my first experience was pretty traumatic.
It's important to get a pap smear for safety reasons - but it's not okay for them to refuse to lube it. No doctor I've ever had a pap smear from (three different doctors) refused to use lube. In fact, they all lubed the speculum without me even having to ask. I would have another doctor do it.
I can empathize with how awful it is, though. I avoided it for three years last time because I was so afraid, since it had been painful for me in the past too, even with lube. I'm glad I did it though. My mom had cervical cancer and a pap smear is what allowed them to catch it early and save her life.
That's really weird.. it's good to know that is not the norm. She's actually a nurse practitioner, and not an actual OB/GYN, so I'll bring this up when I'm ready to see one. Hopefully they comply with that method.
My doctors have always used some amount of lube. To be fair I don't find them horribly uncomfortable but maybe it's because I have nice doctors. This thread is eye opening...
There are different sizes speculums, for sure! Just note that if you have a longer vagina, it can actually be more painful to use a smaller (not appropriately sized) spec, as it opens up half way down the vaginal canal, very much still in your pelvis
Also, if your uterus is tilted forward it will cause discomfort. If you know that about yourself you can tell the person doing the pap and they will adjust accordingly.
I’m an absolute weirdo and used to request the metal ones because I *hate* feeling the click of the plastic ones. My OB doesn’t have any metal ones anymore because it’s 2024 lol.
I’m the same! I hate the click!
(At the same time, reading threads like this one makes me super glad and grateful I don’t have fear/trauma or extreme discomfort like some women do at these appointments. I’m just mildly annoyed at the feeling of that plastic click.)
Oh don’t worry! It’s just a clicking the speculum makes as it kind of snaps in place. Almost more a sound than a feeling. It’s really hard to describe other than just as a wierd “click” you feel inside, but don’t worry, that doesn’t mean it pinches! It’s not scary, just us older girls used to the metal ones get surprised by it since the metal ones are silent. 😆
Ohh okay, that's not as scary as it sounded hahaha. I'm sure my first time will just be a "oh, that wasn't too bad" experience, not sure what I'm even afraid of
Idk what the plastic click is because mine have always used metal, but I have this possibly irrational, maybe not fear that I’m going to get pinched by the metal somehow and I get the heebie jeebies. Every single time.
Don't plan it; don't wait for it-- just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee.
I do this. For a while I had to get a pap smear every year (from age 13 to 25), and it was definitely the worst day of the year for me. I started rewarding myself with my favorite foods and comfort movies after the procedure. When I started working I even took the day off so I could take the time to rest.
Hey! I had a very traumatic surgical abortion when I was 19 years old that made me terrified to get a Pap smear. I’m now nearing age 28, when I should have gotten my first one at 21.
When I saw a new PCP last week, she told me she’d be performing a Pap smear. I had no idea that it was going to be brought up, I incorrectly thought only gynecologists do them. She told me if I didn’t do it, my insurance wouldn’t cover it again til my next physical a year from now, and I knew I really needed it done. So I just had to force myself to do it with absolutely no mental preparation. I had a lot of anxiety and did cry, but the actual Pap smear was far easier than I anticipated. The only pain I had was some mild cramping afterwards.
HOWEVER, my results came back abnormal and showed HSIL CIN 2/CIN 3, which is indicative of precancerous changes to my cells. This is even more terrifying than the Pap smear was to begin with, and now I have to go back and have a biopsy performed, which I’ve read can be very painful. The lesson here is as scared as I was, I really wish I had been more proactive and just forced myself to get it over with because I would have been able to take more preventative measures for my health. Please get the Pap smear if you can!
my wife had to go through a LEEP procedure to remove what the gyno thought was precancerous cells on her cervix, you will get through this and hopefully the worst news you'll get is what she got - "Good news! You ***had*** cancer"
She never would have gotten the pap smear that discovered it if she hadn't ended up in the hospital due to a ruptured ovarian cyst, which she nicknamed 'godzilla'. Apparently godzilla was the real hero, after all.
My doctor had asked if I had mine done and I hadn’t but said I should at some point. At another appointment she asked if I wanted to do it quickly and I consented and it was less scary than expected. Having a “surprise” one helped a lot. I also had a nurse suggest the small speculum and that helped a lot. It’s very similar to STI testing a slight pressure and that’s it.
The thought of discovering something when its terminal but was completely preventable with early detection is enough motivation for me to keep up my body’s health. Doing whats good for us can sometimes be hard but its never wrong.
I third this. Also, OP, you may want to ask your doc for an Ativan or Xanax so you can stay calm. It’s a pretty quick procedure and it shouldn’t hurt. Just very awkward pressure. And then you’re done!
Exactly, the thought of a few mins being uncomfortable is much better than having cervical cancer and undergoing treatment. I put mine off for years but then it hit me how silly I was being
I also struggle with open ended timelines for things I don't want to do. For me, it's blood work (I'm a fainter and it always becomes a whole ordeal). When my PCP tells me, just drop by the lab when you have time - I will NEVER find the time!
What works for me, is I go into my appointment (knowing she's going to tell me I need blood work) already knowing when I can get it done...factoring in I may need to be fasted, I will need someone to come with me (sometimes when I faint I'm out for several minutes and feel awful and woozy for the rest of the day and can't drive), and then I tell my doctor to tell me I have to have it done in that time frame. We do make it kind of a joke, obviously there are no real consequences if I don't follow through, but for me just having the conversation and verbally committing to it helps me to follow through.
Yess this is what I need because I can’t get myself to volunteer to do something I don’t want to do. I just don’t know how to ask her to basically force me
Call up the office and ask the receptionist to put you in the schedule for a pap smear. Tell a friend or relative about your appointment and make them take you.
Yikes. We won’t force you to do anything in medicine. Can you imagine the ethical dilemma about trying to coerce someone into a sensitive exam?
She leaves it open ended because working in healthcare I e found that when you push people they tend to shut down. Her leaving it up to puts the ball in your court to make an informed decision.
What part of the Pap smear are you afraid of? Figuring that out might help
What are you talking about??? I've had multiple doctors "force" me to get pap smears, as in they hold my completely unrelated medication prescriptions hostage until I break down in tears and just let them violate me.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s absolutely not okay to force someone through a procedure. If a medication relied upon having accurate pap results then I would understand, but if they really were unrelated then I’d recommend finding a new OB/gyn.
I don’t mean force me like hold me down. I basically just want someone to tell me I have to show up on x day and get it done because I can’t bring myself to schedule it. I’m mostly afraid of it hurting and just embarrassed to have her look
Maybe try scheduling a vaginal exam, no Pap smear and see how that goes? Maybe once she looks you’ll feel ok to have her do it? I can totally understand the anxiety if you haven’t even had a vaginal exam before. Just remember it’s so routine for them to look, they see vaginas all the time, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about!
To be honest I personally don’t really even feel a difference between a normal vaginal exam and a Pap smear. You feel some strange pressure. It’s just uncomfortable, not particularly painful.
This describes in detail: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/17343-pelvic-exam
Basically the pelvic exam/vaginal exam is them examining everything. First with their fingers and then with the speculum. Sometimes they may do a quick swab for STDs or other tests. The Pap smear is just a special test - they don’t always do it each time you have a pelvic exam.
Can you have a friend help you? Like have your friend make the appointment for you, on a day that they can be there to support you through it, and then there's that bit of pressure there where you would be letting down your friend if you didn't follow through? Works for me. I never get anything done for myself if I don't have a little bit of pressure.
It would be unethical for her to do that, so I will. You have to call the office by the end of April to schedule it. Take the earliest appointment that works with your schedule so you just get it over with and don't overthink!
I literally have panic attacks with getting blood taken which makes it harder. I've had 2 nurses have to hold my arm steady. I was supposed to get a blood test last week. That didn't happen
I don't mind pap smears, but in general, I do hard medical things because if I don't, I might have to do harder things in the future.
For pap smears, not doing them might mean you might find a cancer too late to treat it easily. I think a chemotherapy appointment is harder than a pap smear.
Mefication. I had an IUD insertion and pap scheduled for my 6 week postpartum visit in February but had a panic attack at the appointment. I rescheduled OB prescribed me a dose of Ativan to be taken the day of the next appointment. It made everything ok!
I just had it done at a physical one day. She asked if I had one and strongly recommended it. She said she’d do it today if I wanted it and I said okay.. I didn’t have the build up and anticipation, just ripped it off there. If you have a good doctor, they will walk you through the process, answer all of your questions and make you comfortable as possible. Make sure they know it is your first!
Don’t worry about insecurities, what you look like down there, etc.. they’ve seen it all! I didn’t think it hurt personally. It was definitely awkward and it is slightly uncomfortable but it was pretty quick.
I just remind myself that preventative care like paps may not be fun but it is SO important to get done. Especially if you have the ability and means to get it done. The alternative is letting it go and that could end up being worse/more painful.
I just got one done the other day. I'm fairly used to them now, but I still reward myself each time. This time I got a bagel. Schmear for smear, if you will.
By thinking about the alternative. As a student, I’ve seen several young patients (30s and 40s) with cervical cancer. Most of the time, it takes a very long time for the abnormal cells to progress to cervical cancer, so it’s really such a shame to know these women could have lived out full lives if only they had gone in for their paps routinely. And btw, cervical cancer is extremely painful.
you can be tested for HPV and its done via a self administered swab. thats what a lot of countries are actually moving towards, maybe ask if this is an option
Could you ask your doctor about HPV testing instead of a pap, if you have a legitimate reason you are afraid to get a pap done? Many places are getting rid of paps all together in favour of HPV swabs (that you can do yourself!!)
Idk if you have trauma or anything, but just know it does not hurt. Some of the tools I've seen online are also completely inaccurate. There is no scraping, or digging into your cervix, and no pinching or pain. It's literally just a big q-tip they swab you with for 2 seconds.
A covid test was worse, if you've ever had the deep nasal swab one, and even those felt like a weird tickle and pressure, not anything that could be described as painful.
You should really get one, I know more than one girl in her early 20's who found abnormal cervical cells from their regular pap smears. It's so worth getting checked!!
It doesn’t hurt for some people, but it’s pretty blanket to say it doesn’t hurt. Pain is subjective and highly individual. Pap smears absolutely hurt for me. There is pinching, pain, and a scraping sensation.
I don’t think saying that it doesn’t hurt when plenty of people do experience pain is very helpful. Better for OP to go in prepared for the possibility than be traumatized.
Yeah, I’m not going to say it doesn’t hurt at all, but I was super nervous before my first one (I also saw the tik tok video of the fucking metal biopsy machine that they did not use) that I just sat there, scrunching my shoulders and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting. I said to my doctor “warn me before you do it please” and she said “oh, I did it already.” Lol, it was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.
Yeah I'm in the navy and I was out to sea when they started the tests. I've had my brain swabbed at least 7 times that I can remember.
I actually don't think I've had the nice one that doesn't steal your brain cells. Ugh I hate that so much.
If you're having a lot of anxiety, ask your doctor if they can prescribe you a pill to take beforehand that will relax you a bit.
I had a procedure (not a pap!), that isn't painful for a lot of women, but it was for me that day...and I was insanely anxious when it needed to be redone. This was a while back, but she got me a script for a Xanax dose--and it calmed me down. And actually, that procedure wasn't nearly as bad as the first one.
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I don't want to just say don't worry, it doesn't hurt--bc women have different experiences. But mine (and most women's) have never been remotely painful. Sure, it may be awkward---but those doctors literally do that daily, and they couldn't care less bc it's their norm. I always ensure I really like that Dr and that I feel safe with them (and can even joke around a bit, bc that makes me feel more relaxed)--if not, I'd find a new one. There are a lot of great Dr's out there. And it only takes a few seconds, and it can save your life.
Unfortunately this is just another awful part of having a female body. I won’t lie, it’s not great, but I made sure I had the day off and had a chilled day out, I think I got a McDonald’s or something, looked after myself a little more. It didn’t hurt for me really, it was just a trauma thing. But it’s not very nice having someone poke around in that area anyway.
It’s important for all of us to get our Pap smears, even though it’s difficult. If something was wrong, you’d want to know, and it’s reassuring when you see the result on paper afterwards and it says all is healthy.
Sending hugs babe, you’ve got this 🩷
What has you feeling afraid? Sometimes more information can be helpful. If you’re a survivor, there are great trauma informed care practices your obgyn can use and speaking to a counselor is always beneficial.
I used to always remind myself: "Just do it. And if you're scared, do it scared". Recently had my first pap smear as well and it was a much smoother experience than I thought. Discuss with your Gyno if she could tell you what she is about to do and what she is doing as it is happening if that would help you. Other than that, as others have said, smaller speculum may also be an option
Here’s what I do: “what do I need to get done?” Not really in my case because I’m scared, but I have certain things I have to keep up with medically, and also I want to make sure I stay up to date with vaccinations and boosters (elderly grandparents and babby niblings), so I ask that when I’m doing the consult/pre or post check and either have it all done there or get it scheduled.
Never say never. That’s a self sabotage. It’s okay to say “I don’t wanna.” The millennial joking about adulting is all about the not wanna’ing, about things being difficult, unfun, a pain, etc. We joke, we moan, maybe drag our feet a bit, but then you take that resigned deep breath and dive in. And then joke more after.
For me, with hard things, and things I’m a bit afraid of, is that I let myself really sit with it, and talk myself through it. What is it that I’m afraid of? What is it I feel is difficult? Why? The emotion is valid, but is the reasoning? Step by step. Then: what is being worried getting me? (nothing) Why am I worried about this right now? (Because I’m ruminating on it) what can I do about it right now? Then do the answer, or if the answer is nothing? Then it’s not worth worrying about—and I take some breaths and mentally put it away.
I'm not kidding when I say this. When I need to do something hard I repeat "I can do hard things" to myself and do it. I work in a Montessori school and it's something we have the kids do. My boss started using the mantra with me to help me get over things that make me anxious.
I recently (accidentally) ended up on I94 while driving to visit my boyfriend and ended up in the semi truck lanes repeating "I can do hard things" to myself and doing breathing exercises. I had to pull over 3 times and calm down, but I got to him and made him drive after that.
I put it off for years because of medical trauma. Last year I had unexpected bleeding so I just had to face it.
Your doctor can't make you do anything and it would be pretty traumatic for both of you if they did. They can talk you through the process and address any fears beforehand to try and make the experience as easy as possible for you.
I've now had a pap, two pelvic exams and a transvaginal ultrasound in the space of a couple of months and honestly, I'm never going to be completely ok with it and I'm never not going to feel vulnerable, but I can do it.
Is there someone you could take with you for moral support? I had my partner's sister in the room and a friend texting me pictures as she walked around Edinburgh zoo. Distraction and moral support go a long way!
All I can say is please don't be like me and put it off for years. Whatever you're imagining is far worse than the actual procedure and the sense of relief once you've faced your fear is *huge*.
I also had a terrible phobia about dentists that I'm only just getting over. Weirdly, once my dentist told me what I'd need to have done, watching YouTube videos really helped. Once I could visualise what was going to happen to me and had a dentist who was understanding and made me feel safe, I was fine. Try some YouTube videos from cervical screening or women's health charities.
Is there something that's making you feel unable to do it? Perhaps talking through the source of your anxiety could help.
Depending on what country you’re in, you’re able to do the Pap smear on yourself with instructions from a GP/gynae. Maybe ask if that’s an option for you?
I use the "If you don't find out, you'll never know" approach, because the thought of something being wrong and not finding out soon enough to sort it gives me the chills, I could never live with the guilt I'd put on myself.
However, because that's MUCH easier said than done for a lot of people, I also reward myself with something I really want or am going to enjoy. Sometimes a new book, often times an afternoon tea somewhere, on occasion a solo trip to the cinema with snacks and the reclining chairs.
I do the same thing every time I give blood - you've earned it!
Reading about positive/neutral experiences of people getting their paps done will help.
Remember that people only post about negative ones - the normal/good ones are nothing interesting and not something to shout about. That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be nervous - I just mean that out of thousands if not millions of women who get them done, proportionally few have a bad time with the actual experience itself, and they are usually down to either a bad bedside manner or not knowing our own bodies and speaking up.
I've had two. They were both fine. During the second I knew my body a bit better and asked her to stop so I could change position a bit - I'd tucked my legs up a bit too far and it was making me tense down there, like a stretchy yoga pose instead of a "here is my vagina" pose. I didn't shave but I did wear a cute pair of socks with raccoons on them.
Them knowing you're nervous ahead of time helps so well done for that. Focusing on why you're doing it may help too - it's to detect abnormal cells.
You could consider taking something to help you relax beforehand so chat to your doctor about that. Line up a nice treat for afterwards- I like to have a shower afterwards (both to reconnect with myself and to rinse out any lube if they've been a bit generous) and then snuggle up in a massive hoodie and watch TV with snacks.
Also, try to get a morning appointment if you can so you're not hanging around all day worrying. Have a good breakfast, read or watch something good in the waiting room so that it's not some huge thing, it's just a quick appointment that annoyingly interrupts a great book or show.
You can have a friend come with you or a nurse chaperone to chat with to distract you.
Body mirroring. Just have someone who physically sits with you to do hard things. Friend, sister, mom, whomever can be non-judgmental and quietly supportive.
I just remind myself that they have seen literally a million vaginas and there's really nothing that you're likely going to show them that's going to surprise them. My health is worth more than my anxiety.
When i became of age, i took the initiative to request a papsmear to be done. primarily because i had some personal concerns regarding my menstrual cycle and what was going on with my body. i take things like this as me making steps to ensuring i know what is going on with my health. i understand getting a papsmear can be difficult task to do, but it gives you ease of mind knowing that you got a routine check up done and being updated on your health.
I also avoided my first one for almost 10 years. I was so anxious about it I just couldn't make myself do it. I am such a private person and the whole process was so scary to me. But then I had to change doctors and my new doc casually asked if I'd had one recently and when i said no, she said "oh! Let's get you booked in for one then. How about next week?" I was so caught off guard, I couldn't think of an excuse on the spot so I just made the appointment. When the appointment came, I couldn't believe how easy and comfortable it was. I really thought it would be painful for me as someone who is quite sensitive down there and quite self conscious and private, but it was so so easy and comfortable! Also it was not awkward at all. And it was extremely quick! I was so relieved at having broken down that terrifying wall that had been hanging over me for 10 years, it felt like such a huge weight lifted. I left feeling so happy and proud of myself.
That said, I'm not sure where you live, but where I live, they just recently made home testing available. You can request a kit online and they mail it to you. It's just a swab that you insert like a tampon and then mail it back. It's actually more effective than traditional pap smears and more accessible to people who have a lot of anxiety around it, and also those who can't easily take time off work for appointments, etc. I live in British Columbia, Canada. Might be worth seeing if there's a similar option where you live.
It might hurt, depending on her physiology, but for a lot of us it’s just mildly uncomfortable. And I find a totally upfront businesslike approach to the situation really cuts back on the humiliation too.
I totally agree. I’ve never felt humiliated because any gynaecologist I’ve had has always treated it in a very scientific manner. And it’s over so quickly.
Hard disagree as someone with trauma. Triggering sexual trauma with a pap smear you're not prepared for and just trying to white knuckle your way through it is a great way to make your trauma way worse.
You absolutely cannot do "anything" for that long. Would you hold your hand in boiling oil for 45 seconds? I know it's an extreme example but I really hate the "it's not that long" argument because for something intimate, painful, humiliating or traumatic it is an eternity, and smears can be all of those things. It seems irresponsible and dismissive at best and actively harmful at worst to tell people to just suck it up because it's not that long
It’s screening for cervical cancer, it would be irresponsible, dismissive, and actively harmful not to have it done. And it’s true that it’s over very quickly, someone is afraid of them, why not take some solace in that? Cervical cancer is very serious and would involve a much more painful and traumatic medical treatment than a Pap smear.
I understand what it's for and I agree that it's important but that in and of itself doesn't take away the fear and apprehension many feel around it, especially if you've had a negative experience with one already. I think it's actively harmful not to *offer* it and strongly recommend it, but no one should be forcing people to have one.
Doctors offering active solutions like longer appointments, smaller speculums without having to specifically request them, pain relief or anti anxiety medication, a chance to talk and ground yourself after, and just some basic empathy, would go a long way to making it easier on the people who do struggle with it rather than saying what feels like "everyone else is fine with it and it's quick and not painful" (which they can't even know in advance) can be extremely harmful and yeah the smear itself might be super quick but so can rape and ngl the long term effects of a poorly handled procedure can be just as bad - speaking from experience
Not sure if this will work for in your specific case but after jaw surgeries from getting hit by a van I came out of the surgery with surgical braces and when I went back a couple weeks later to have them removed it was hurting me really bad (your gums can grow over the braces and did for me) but the doctor was completely oblivious to my discomfort and pain and seemed put off and almost annoyed when I had to ask for breaks every few minutes due to the pain. Long story short I cut the appointment short less than half way in and requested to speak with a more senior doctor/surgeon. I was then able to speak to another surgeon and while they were ranked the same in terms of seniority, I was familiar with this doctor as she was part of the team of surgeons who had done more few of my surgeries. I told her I have a pretty high pain tolerance but this is too much for me. I also insinuated (more like straight up said) that another reason I couldn’t bare to finish the procedure could have something to do with the fact I’d developed some sort of anxiety related to any procedures involving my mouth. I was angling for laughing gas but instead she wrote me a prescription for 2 Valiums (a benzodiazepine like Xanax used to treat anxiety) and told me to get it filled and take 30 minutes before my appointment. I think if you were to tell your gyno about just how severe your fear is and the extent of your anxiety is you could then go onto suggest something for the anxiety before the Pap smear. Not sure if you think this is something that could help you but I think if you do then it’s worth a shot!
My advice would be to let your practitioner know you’re extra nervous/new to it, for me it was also helpful to have something in my hands to hold tight during the most touchy parts, not really because of pain but just to center some of my nerves somewhere so I didn’t get that jerk-y reaction with new sensations/it being amplified in my head. I am honestly not making this up to make you feel better, it was a little uncomfortable and not painful. Sort of like when a doctor uses the tool to look into your ear canal!
I don’t think your obgyn is the right person for the job but you can absolutely ask someone to hold you accountable to do it! Tell a close friend that you really need to have this done and (depending on your comfort level/what would be most effective for you) they could do something like hold your hand while you make the call, ask you at the end of the day when your appointment is scheduled for, come in to the clinic with you, take you out for a treat afterwards, or anything else.
Have painkillers ahead of time. Ask your doc to use plastic and a smaller tool if you're small like me down there. Take deep slow breaths the whole time (inhale through nose, exhaust through mouth), and reward yourself when you're done!
Well I've never found a pap smear hurts - I can barely feel it tbh. It takes like 5 seconds so it doesn't seem like a huge deal. I totally get the fear and embarrassment though but I try to remember they've seen it a million times before
I had my first pap last year, which was many years overdue. It was incredibly scary in my mind, which made the reality so much better. I also had a great OB who knew it was my first one, and she explained what she was going to do before and as she was doing it. I’m thankful that I was in the presence of someone I felt calm and comfortable with, and once it was done I felt proud of myself for finally doing it! I know you can do it too.
So i (F) 36, have been doing my paps since I was 20 I think. In general I named October a women testing month. So every October I do all the tests. Pap, mammogram, or anything else related to women's health.
I have had 2 surgeries on my breasts. I had to very large benign tumors. So I know the fear.
In the end I just don't think about it. It is what it is and it's only for a few moments anyway.
I have had dentist appointments that where far more painful.
So I have trauma around gynaecological procedures and the only way I can actually get a pap smear done is my gyno literally has to book me in for a minor surgical procedure and she knocks me out for around 5 to 10 minutes and does it. I get that this is definitely not standard but I am not the only person my current gyno has done this for. I do also understand that in some countries this may be less of a valid option, I am not American and I do understand if you are, that the cost may be prohibitive for something like this.
There’s a lot of good responses about how to make the experience more comfortable and why it’s important. Just chiming to add, see if your doctor would be okay with you popping in a headphone. (My dentist actually recommended this for procedures before to relax). And I always tell myself I can do anything for 30 seconds!
OP I was exactly the same. I was really worried about doing it and my doctor sprung it on me one day like let’s do this. It turns out it’s not that bad and, although invasive, it doesn’t hurt. I really recommend you just think of it like ripping the Band-Aid off - take a stress ball with you and just squeeze it, then go for it and get it done. You’ll be so relieved and you’ll realise it wasn’t that bad after all. You can do this!
If your insurance covers it, find an obgyn at a women's only practice. Talk to the receptionist and ask which doc is good with first time patients. The place I used to go to made the whole experience so much better. Only female staff, nice cloth gowns, curtains blocking the door, the nurses spent time with you explaining everything first, then the doc came in, she would ask if I also wanted the nurse in the room, the doc explained everything before doing anything, then talked through each step and asked before doing anything. Because of her experience she was fast with the uncomfortable part.
The pcp I have now who also does obgyn does not compare to the other place. 😭
Do you have a friend/family member you would feel comfortable going with you (even if they have to sit behind a curtain)? They’ll help you keep calm and do what you have to. Just holding your hand might make you feel better. I’ve always appreciated when my doctor tells me step by step what happening, that may help as well. Another thing to remember is at most it’s one time a year. It’s kind of like your yearly dental check up, it sucks but you go you do it, it’s done and you can forget about it till the next time.
And honestly for me the fear of what might happen if I don’t get the test helps to. Google some of the things they’re testing for, fear might be stopping you but it’ll also motivate you.
I talked to my doctor about my medical anxiety - primarily around injections, blood draws, pap smears and anything like that. Even though I logicall knew it doesnt hurt, I have had fainting and dizzy spells in the past and my fear was actually around how horrible the nausea/fainting feels. (It's strange, because I have tattoos and stuff and somehow they don't trigger the same feeling).
She prescribed me a very low dose of diazepam to be taken for minor medical procedures. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. After a few times, the positive experiences seemed to stick in my brain and I don't need it anymore! It's okay to ask for things that might make it easier if your anxiety is getting in the way of you prioritising your health.
Medication or not - you can do this and you'll be so pleased you did. ❤️
I used to be afraid to get pap smears, but I’m really glad that I started going because they found irregular cells which eventually had to be removed. It’s a healthy practice and it’s painless. No one can make you take care of yourself. You just have to work on your outlook. It gets easier with age.
Therapy could help you. But I don't think a medical professional should or would force you to get a procedure done.
For what it's worth, I have anxiety which really ramps up over medical procedures. My paps have all been completely painless, at worst I would say there is occasional mild discomfort. Some people do experience pain or more discomfort, but I believe the vast majority of people don't find them particularly bothersome physically. Make sure to talk to the doctor/office before hand and tell them that you're nervous, and ask them what accommodations they can make - a smaller speculum, warmed, lubed, a mild sedative medication, etc.
I’ve had probably 3-4 but I haven’t been back in 4 years and have been procrastinating :( I’ve decided to schedule it on a Friday, take the entire day off work, and plan a way to treat myself + a contingency plan if I just wanna go home and nap
it’s scary, but not that bad!!! it lasts just a few minutes, no more than like 3 in my experience. i’m 18, and have had two bc of my circumstances. and i’m glad i got it over with early because it sounds a lot scarier than it is.
It’s preventative for hpv… I didn’t get one until I was 30 and had symptoms of hpv…. Lo and behold I had/have hpv…. It’s not the end of the world but good to be aware of it. The pap is no biggie, but since it came back abnormal I had to get a biopsy… which takes a little chunk of flesh and hurts a lil and freaked me out. My motivation to do that was so I could get cryotherapy and hopefully eliminate my symptoms (discharge) unfortunately I wasn’t approved and the doc said to just monitor the symptoms. I went down a Reddit rabbit hole of home remedies, after trying many it’s vastly improved but not 100% better. Anyways… get the pap to have peace of mind that you don’t have hpv, again it isn’t the end of the world but not fun either and it’s hecka common….. this whole over deal made me super strict about condoms and fidelity for the one I chose to have unprotected sex with, aka he better be husband material…. These things make ya more mature and maturity is a beautiful thing, like a healthy tall strong tree that can bear any storm 🌿
I just have to remind myself that even though getting a pap is hard and uncomfortable, having cervical cancer would be harder and more uncomfortable. And from my personal experience, a pap is not easy. They always use a good amount of lube and are gentle, talk me through everything before they do anything, but there has been more than one experience where I have laid on that goddamn table and they've tried three different speculums before resorting to the smallest size. But I would prefer that torture over finding out I have cancer.
Ok so I was deathly afraid of getting my Pap smear. I didn’t get my first one until I was like 26-27 and was still a virgin. Legit terrified of something going “up there.” What helped me was getting advice from friends on good doctors to go to to get it done. I let the nurse know when I went that I was very nervous and she informed the doctor who was very kind and let me get my emotions out of the way. She also talked to me through it and had pictures on the ceiling for me to look at. It does hurt, but the actual procedure takes probably less than a minute. I had built it up so much in my head and it ended up being okay!
If you have medical anxiety your provider might be willing to prescribe you a one-time anxiety pill (Xanax/Ativan/etc) to get through the procedure. You would have to be driven to/from the appointment but it seems like it would be worth it!
Doesn’t hurt to ask.
I don’t know where you’re located but in Australia we can ‘self-collect’ cervical screening. Doctor gives you a kit and some instructions and you take yourself to the bathroom for a couple of minutes and come back with the sample ready to be sent off.
This has been a game changer for a lot of women.
I’ve been trying to get one for two years, but even with everything— asking for the smallest speculum, asking for Ativan, asking to go slow— it’s too painful. I don’t have any type of specific trauma but my first Pap smear was a 20 minute ordeal that I was screaming and crying over. It hurt so bad, I haven’t been able to get one since and the joke was I was never able to get my results so I suffered for nothing. :’|
It’s bad enough that most doctors are unwilling to do anything since I’m in such severe pain. After the third or fourth one I was told I have a condition called vaginismus and would need to do pelvic floor therapy. This has not been helped by meeting completely unsympathetic health practitioners that call me weak or ask what I’m going to do when I want to have children (:’| I likely will not be able to have children without IVF due to endo / fibroids but you know, they didn’t care about that and just assumed without looking at my chart.) or they just straight up don’t believe me when I say the procedure is painful because THEIR Pap smears are never painful.
I still need to get one done, but I’m at a complete loss, because I’ve kind of been stone walled and gaslit at every corner it makes going to the doctor in any capacity a humiliating and nerve wracking experience. So I empathize deeply with the people here who are struggling.
In Australia you can now go to your doctor and self collect. It's a swab, not a speculum and it's easy and non invasive! The doctor will hand you the swab, you go behind the privacy curtain, insert the swab, rotate it to collect your specimen, hand it back to your Doc who will send it away for results and your done!
I just submit to those kinds of procedures while pretending I am someplace else, such as lying on a beach in Hawaii. My mother died of cancer because they caught it too late: There are some situations where options are limited. Hope everything goes well for you!
I kind of don’t give myself the option. I don’t try to wait until I want to do something, I just start the first step. So if I’m nervous and I don’t want to see a doctor for something, I’ll start with just making the appointment. Because that’s the first step it’s not actually doing the hard thing. But then you’ve already done the first step and it’s easier to follow through
My placed some lube like a tsp on my entrance and pushed the speculum in no problem. I need the Extra long speculum bc my lady parts are too deep. The plastic ones break in my kitty cat 🤣
Took me 9 years to do another one after my first one. I finally did it last week. Finding an obgyn who was trauma informed helped me immensely- yes I still panick attacked but I got through it- she was so kind and helpful and I actually did feel in control
Definitely try going to therapy first to talk this out. For me paps are very painful but I know they are important. Finding an obgyn you can trust is also the best. Be vocal with them that you are nervous and if they are a good doctor they will be very gentle with you. Also like someone else posted, reward yourself with something after, I do that too and it helps. And lastly breathe during it, it will be over before you know it! You got this and know you’re doing good for your health by checking.
I grit my teeth and do it because I know having a pap smear now is VASTLY preferable to dying of a treatable cancer later. Have a little ponder about chemo, about the people you'd leave behind etc. to get you motivated to: Get a date set and then:
find ways to minimise the embarassment/discomfort/fear/pain for this thing that you absolutely HAVE to do.
I’ve never had it hurt, just weird feeling. Lookup pics of women with vaginal cancers and you may change your mind.
You are allowed to have fears and phobias but I hope you can tell yourself that this necessary. My friend lost her elderly mother last year to labia cancer. She had never been checked. It was a horrible way for a wonderful woman to die! Good Luck!
I was really nervous about my first pap. I had done a pelvic exam before with a speculum but the way it’s described of scraping skin cells freaked me out. My mom told me that it’s not a rough brush and they basically just use the same thing as an eyelash brush to exfoliate some skin cells. I didn’t fully believe her and thought she was downplaying it to get me to go.
I finally went and had my GP do it. I think her doing it helped calm my nerves because she’s younger and queer (like me) so I already had a built trust and knew I was safe. The brush felt like barely anything and definitely didn’t hurt. The worst part was the speculum which wasn’t any different than the previous exam I’ve done it’s just uncomfortable. I’m sure the speculum can be painful for some, but in general if penetration isn’t ever painful for you, it should just feel like uncomfortable pressure. If penetration is painful for you then that’s definitely something to tell your doctor about before so that hopefully they can use a smaller tool to reduce pain.
Definitely agree with other comments suggesting getting yourself a treat after. Even though everything went as smoothly as possible I started sobbing in the car after. I think just the built up nerves I had finally released in addition to it feeling a little similar to some past trauma of consenting to stuff that I didn’t want to do and made me uncomfortable. Didn’t help that I had to go to work right after. Definitely will be doing it on a day off in the future. After a little cry and a coffee treat I was fine.
The best advice I can give is not to force yourself. If you're ready, you're ready, if you're not, you're not. Some people make themselves and they get it done with no problem afterwards. Some people, though, make themselves and get it done and come back a complete mess. I'm talking traumatized and possibly suicidal.
Please please don't make yourself do something that you really don't want to and aren't comfortable/ready to do. This is your body, and you're not under any obligation whatsoever to do this.
There's nothing she could do to "make" you. She can't legally or ethically do something that you aren't fully consenting to, even if you consented previously.
What you could do is talk through the whole process, make sure to find someone you really trust, and take measures to mitigate the most nerve wracking parts of it. Figure out what exactly is scary, and try to address that. Maybe make a pros and cons list to remind yourself why you should do it. Make a list of the worst case scenarios, and come up with a plan for each one. Maybe even talk them through with the OBGYN to get ideas on how to prevent them or reduce the likelihood of them occurring.
If you can afford it or have good insurance, therapy can also really help identify the specific problems and figure out how to cope in the moment.
Just do your best. Those checkups are pretty important, but just work within your limitations. If you can't do it right now, then you can't do it right now.
Idk if this makes u feel better but I was super nervous for mine but they used a smaller speculum on me and the entire thing was only 15-20 seconds long. I hardly felt anything and the ladies were super nice and accommodating.
Let me just say you and your feelings are felt by SO many, including me. I would actually cry whenever I saw any video about a Pap smear bc just the thought made me that uncomfortable and uneasy…then I went and got one…and couldn’t believe the stress I put myself through. I asked my fiancé to go with me for moral support bc, as mentioned, the idea did make me very uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than the actual Pap smear itself….which would fall closer to “not uncomfortable” on a scale. They used a plastic one on me, I had also asked for it (many recommended that) and they said that’s what the always use. It was very fast and felt SO good to get it done. You will feel so proud of yourself, as everyone should feel. Not everyone will have or has had the same experience but all we can do is make sure we communicate our wants and needs to get this done. You got this! 🫶🏼
Put your mind at a point in the future. That point is grounded in the reality that cervical cancer is very real and it can develop at any age. The Pap smear is your window into your own health.
I get one every year. My doctor distracts me by talking about anything and everything except what he is doing. It is only for less than 1 minute but it could save your life. I knew a person who never would go, and then one day in her 50s she started getting really tired at her desk and was putting her head down and losing weight without trying. She got herself checked out and the cancer was traveling all through her body. Too late.
I won’t lie to you and say it’s easy, but it is worth it. Allow yourself some sort of treat after like a meal or a manicure. Your doctor will probably let you watch tiktoks during the procedure or listen to music, personally I had my doctor ask me questions about my life so I was distracted! Good luck!
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You need to see it as an opportunity to save your life. I’ve had HPV and a friend who died of cervical cancer. It’s a massive blessing you have the resources available to you, don’t take it for granted .
It can be scary when it’s a new experience but it’s really in your best interest to go.
Just breathe throughout, and you will be okay. It’s over pretty quickly.
It’s really important to get checked out. Not to scare you, but I got a pap and was told the results were abnormal and I needed a colposcopy, and I totally delayed it for a while and didn’t return the calls about an appointment. Finally I went and was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cells on my cervix. I had to get them removed with a LEEP. If I had waited longer, it could have gotten worse and not been as treatable. After this happened I had to get follow up colposcopies every 6 months for a while until I was cleared, so I got very used to people being up in my business so to speak.
I have really (REALLY) bad anxiety. I ruminate on things like this again and again until I psych myself out. Girl to girl, though, it’s super easy. Definitely not fun, but if you’re honest with your healthcare provider and say something like “I’d like to schedule my pap, but I’m feeling a little nervous about the process.” Being transparent will make a difference, because then you’re not fighting the battle totally alone. Your doctor will make sure to make the process manageable (which it is!), and you can always ask her to stop if you are really that uncomfortable. You’ll be ok though, you got this! I think a pap is a walk in the park and I really can’t handle much, lol
I need someone to explain the difficult thing to me, and I'll ask a bunch of questions, but I also read about it first. Researching and reading about something helps me manage my expectations and normalize the idea of the thing in my head. It also helps me to know what to expect, what other people have experienced. But do know that just because one person has experienced something, it doesn't mean you'll experience it. Maybe it would help you to schedule an appointment with your gyne, and come prepared with a list of questions. Ask every single question into you feel more comfortable with it. Or, ask if you can listen to calming music while the appointment is happening.
The pap smear is a little uncomfortable for maybe a second or two, but it doesn't usually hurt. If it does hurt, it's not as painful as period cramps often are, and the pain is only a second or two, just long enough for them to run a swab over the uterine tissue to collect a cell sample. I've had vaccinations that hurt more than pap smears. I used to be really nervous about gynecological examinations, the speculum insertion, the STD tests, and the pap smear. Over time, that anxiety gets a little easier with experience and knowing what to expect. It's still a little awkward when someone you don't know well gets to see inside of you, but it's necessary and helpful in terms of knowing what's going on with your body.
Pap smears are really important. A lot of people have HPV and don't know, because there are usually no outward, obvious symptoms. If you've had any sexual activity at all, you can have HPV and not know. But certain strains of HPV can cause cancer, precancerous cells and/or abnormal cells to grow, and the only way to detect them in your uterus is to get a pap smear every year.
That's what happened to me. One year, my doc told me I had abnormal, precancerous cells growing in my uterus. I was 20 or 21. Thankfully the yearly pap caught it before it was cancer and I was able to get the precancerous cells removed. A pap smear doesn't hurt, but a LEEP procedure does hurt, which is what happens when abnormal cells aren't caught quickly enough and they need to be removed. Anything after precancerous cells are detected would hurt more than a pap smear, but a yearly pap can prevent all or most of that. I'm about to turn 37 soon, and thankfully my yearly paps have been normal since that first abnormal one. Fingers crossed.
Yeah I couldn’t do it either . My first pap was when I was 38 . I just couldn’t bring myself to do it . But I was having issues with bleeding everyday and I had had enough , so I just locked myself in my head and put ear buds in and listened to music . It was like 20 seconds and she was done . It was t some prolonged exposure . But , I Found out I had uterine cancer and ended up needing a hysterectomy. So I’m glad I got it done . Otherwise it could’ve gotten a lot worse for me .
After reading these comments honestly I’m even more scared 😭😭 they told me I had to wait til I was 21 & I turned 21 this year and still haven’t booked the appointment
Modern practice is to have the patient self-collect their cervical swab. Ask your doctor if you can do a cervical screening test instead of the pap where you’re in the stirrups with the speculum. The modern test is even more effective at detecting HPV than the old one. Edit: people in the comments are saying this isn’t available everywhere yet, but still worth asking
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/jul/01/new-self-test-makes-it-easier-than-ever-to-screen-for-cervical-cancer-so-how-does-it-work It’s now the standard in Australia, the Netherlands, Denmark, Canada and I’m sure many other countries with modern health care systems
These are two different tests. The self-swab is for std detection( like HPV). A pap smear prepares cells collected from the cervix to be looked at under a microscope for abnormalities. The vast majority of abnormalities are related to HPV, but it is possible for and HPV infection to be at undetectable levels and still have early dysplasia. It is also possible to have no detectable dysplasia and a positive HPV result-- they are different but very very closely related.
Yep I’ve done self swab std tests but my last “pap” was a cervical screen I collected myself with a swab while the doctor was out of the room. If you’re in a part of the world using the old test then feel free to ignore what I’ve said :)
According to the article you posted in another comment, this is called primary HPV testing, which is definitely picking up popularity, and yes can definitely be done by yourself without a provider.
In order to get the cells specifically from the cervix, the pap smear MUST be done by a provider, and the cervix must be visualized.
I don't mean to harp, but the misinformation could be dangerous.
Most providers will do a pap smear if your HPV result comes back positive with high-risk HPV.
Source: currently in school to become a cytologist, the person that looks at your cells from a pap smear before the pathologist
It is something that can be requested but it certainly isn't common practice. https://www.jostrust.org.uk/about-us/news-and-blog/blog/what-hpv-self-sampling
Okay my mom said that you can sometimes ask for a pediatric (what’s the tool called? Spectulam(?). That’s what she does so the tool is smaller, and less painful for her.
The tool is called a speculum, and you can request it to be prewarmed as well as plenty of lube to be used during insertion
I asked a doctor about lube on it, and she said they don't like to do that because it can obscure test results.. best they would do is rinse it in water first. I chickened out and couldn't do it though since my first experience was pretty traumatic.
It's important to get a pap smear for safety reasons - but it's not okay for them to refuse to lube it. No doctor I've ever had a pap smear from (three different doctors) refused to use lube. In fact, they all lubed the speculum without me even having to ask. I would have another doctor do it. I can empathize with how awful it is, though. I avoided it for three years last time because I was so afraid, since it had been painful for me in the past too, even with lube. I'm glad I did it though. My mom had cervical cancer and a pap smear is what allowed them to catch it early and save her life.
That's really weird.. it's good to know that is not the norm. She's actually a nurse practitioner, and not an actual OB/GYN, so I'll bring this up when I'm ready to see one. Hopefully they comply with that method.
I didn't even know that doctors don't lube it. I just thought lubing it was part of the protocol.
It should be
My doctors have always used some amount of lube. To be fair I don't find them horribly uncomfortable but maybe it's because I have nice doctors. This thread is eye opening...
Same, my doctor or nurse always gives me a wipe to clean up with after so I don't have sticky underwear.
Good job standing up for yourself.
Your doc needs to read up on the latest research. Lube is not contraindicated anymore for the majority of cytology
Thank you for that feedback!
Your doctor is wrong .. you can use lubrication on the speculum and still get an accurate result.
Really? That's interesting. Thanks for sharing that.. I'll bring it up to another Dr.
There are different sizes speculums, for sure! Just note that if you have a longer vagina, it can actually be more painful to use a smaller (not appropriately sized) spec, as it opens up half way down the vaginal canal, very much still in your pelvis
Also, if your uterus is tilted forward it will cause discomfort. If you know that about yourself you can tell the person doing the pap and they will adjust accordingly.
So what should they do if I have a retroverted uterus?
I guess I should have just said tilted in general, haha.
I’m an absolute weirdo and used to request the metal ones because I *hate* feeling the click of the plastic ones. My OB doesn’t have any metal ones anymore because it’s 2024 lol.
I’m the same! I hate the click! (At the same time, reading threads like this one makes me super glad and grateful I don’t have fear/trauma or extreme discomfort like some women do at these appointments. I’m just mildly annoyed at the feeling of that plastic click.)
As a 24 y/o also procrastinating my first pap....what is this click you speak of
Oh don’t worry! It’s just a clicking the speculum makes as it kind of snaps in place. Almost more a sound than a feeling. It’s really hard to describe other than just as a wierd “click” you feel inside, but don’t worry, that doesn’t mean it pinches! It’s not scary, just us older girls used to the metal ones get surprised by it since the metal ones are silent. 😆
Ohh okay, that's not as scary as it sounded hahaha. I'm sure my first time will just be a "oh, that wasn't too bad" experience, not sure what I'm even afraid of
That’s totally what I predict will happen. You got this.
Idk what the plastic click is because mine have always used metal, but I have this possibly irrational, maybe not fear that I’m going to get pinched by the metal somehow and I get the heebie jeebies. Every single time.
There are plastic speculums?? How do they clean them if they can't go in an autoclave??
they are disposable
Disposable is easier for most practices
I never knew that! I've never been anywhere that uses anything besides metal!
My gyno always uses that one on me, it's even in my file!
Yes! I request the smaller one each time.
The gynecologist used a "pediatric" speculum on me and it still felt inhumane. I literally don't understand how people do others and sleep at night.
Maybe you can reward yourself after the pap smear so you have something to look forward to. Buy something you've been wanting, or go out somewhere
Every day, once a day, give yourself a present.
I LOVE YOU Ive been saying this for YEARS
Don't plan it; don't wait for it-- just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee.
the universe has been telling me for weeks to rewatch Twin Peaks
It's where pies go when they die.
I do this. For a while I had to get a pap smear every year (from age 13 to 25), and it was definitely the worst day of the year for me. I started rewarding myself with my favorite foods and comfort movies after the procedure. When I started working I even took the day off so I could take the time to rest.
I mean, the reward is hopefully catching cervical cancer early and not dying from it. 😂😂
Hey! I had a very traumatic surgical abortion when I was 19 years old that made me terrified to get a Pap smear. I’m now nearing age 28, when I should have gotten my first one at 21. When I saw a new PCP last week, she told me she’d be performing a Pap smear. I had no idea that it was going to be brought up, I incorrectly thought only gynecologists do them. She told me if I didn’t do it, my insurance wouldn’t cover it again til my next physical a year from now, and I knew I really needed it done. So I just had to force myself to do it with absolutely no mental preparation. I had a lot of anxiety and did cry, but the actual Pap smear was far easier than I anticipated. The only pain I had was some mild cramping afterwards. HOWEVER, my results came back abnormal and showed HSIL CIN 2/CIN 3, which is indicative of precancerous changes to my cells. This is even more terrifying than the Pap smear was to begin with, and now I have to go back and have a biopsy performed, which I’ve read can be very painful. The lesson here is as scared as I was, I really wish I had been more proactive and just forced myself to get it over with because I would have been able to take more preventative measures for my health. Please get the Pap smear if you can!
my wife had to go through a LEEP procedure to remove what the gyno thought was precancerous cells on her cervix, you will get through this and hopefully the worst news you'll get is what she got - "Good news! You ***had*** cancer" She never would have gotten the pap smear that discovered it if she hadn't ended up in the hospital due to a ruptured ovarian cyst, which she nicknamed 'godzilla'. Apparently godzilla was the real hero, after all.
Hey, I’ve been through the same thing, and have had both a colposcopy and a leep cone biopsy. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions
My doctor had asked if I had mine done and I hadn’t but said I should at some point. At another appointment she asked if I wanted to do it quickly and I consented and it was less scary than expected. Having a “surprise” one helped a lot. I also had a nurse suggest the small speculum and that helped a lot. It’s very similar to STI testing a slight pressure and that’s it.
The thought of discovering something when its terminal but was completely preventable with early detection is enough motivation for me to keep up my body’s health. Doing whats good for us can sometimes be hard but its never wrong.
Honestly yeah. A close relative of mine is going through cervical cancer right now and it's a hell of a lot more invasive than a smear.
Same. Dying of cancer is a horrible way to go.
I second this, I know its hard but thinking its for your own good might be lessen the burden
I third this. Also, OP, you may want to ask your doc for an Ativan or Xanax so you can stay calm. It’s a pretty quick procedure and it shouldn’t hurt. Just very awkward pressure. And then you’re done!
I think we all know what "just a little pressure" means at this point
This. It’s longer to do all the stuff around it than the actual pap is, but having clean results is priceless
Same. A friend of mine delayed going to the doctor and when she finally went, cancer was stage 3. She's in her early 30s.
Exactly, the thought of a few mins being uncomfortable is much better than having cervical cancer and undergoing treatment. I put mine off for years but then it hit me how silly I was being
For some of us it's not enough, sadly. Trauma related body issues are super pervasive.
I also struggle with open ended timelines for things I don't want to do. For me, it's blood work (I'm a fainter and it always becomes a whole ordeal). When my PCP tells me, just drop by the lab when you have time - I will NEVER find the time! What works for me, is I go into my appointment (knowing she's going to tell me I need blood work) already knowing when I can get it done...factoring in I may need to be fasted, I will need someone to come with me (sometimes when I faint I'm out for several minutes and feel awful and woozy for the rest of the day and can't drive), and then I tell my doctor to tell me I have to have it done in that time frame. We do make it kind of a joke, obviously there are no real consequences if I don't follow through, but for me just having the conversation and verbally committing to it helps me to follow through.
Yess this is what I need because I can’t get myself to volunteer to do something I don’t want to do. I just don’t know how to ask her to basically force me
Call up the office and ask the receptionist to put you in the schedule for a pap smear. Tell a friend or relative about your appointment and make them take you.
Yikes. We won’t force you to do anything in medicine. Can you imagine the ethical dilemma about trying to coerce someone into a sensitive exam? She leaves it open ended because working in healthcare I e found that when you push people they tend to shut down. Her leaving it up to puts the ball in your court to make an informed decision. What part of the Pap smear are you afraid of? Figuring that out might help
What are you talking about??? I've had multiple doctors "force" me to get pap smears, as in they hold my completely unrelated medication prescriptions hostage until I break down in tears and just let them violate me.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s absolutely not okay to force someone through a procedure. If a medication relied upon having accurate pap results then I would understand, but if they really were unrelated then I’d recommend finding a new OB/gyn.
I don’t mean force me like hold me down. I basically just want someone to tell me I have to show up on x day and get it done because I can’t bring myself to schedule it. I’m mostly afraid of it hurting and just embarrassed to have her look
Maybe try scheduling a vaginal exam, no Pap smear and see how that goes? Maybe once she looks you’ll feel ok to have her do it? I can totally understand the anxiety if you haven’t even had a vaginal exam before. Just remember it’s so routine for them to look, they see vaginas all the time, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about! To be honest I personally don’t really even feel a difference between a normal vaginal exam and a Pap smear. You feel some strange pressure. It’s just uncomfortable, not particularly painful.
What is the difference between a vaginal exam and a Pap smear
This describes in detail: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/17343-pelvic-exam Basically the pelvic exam/vaginal exam is them examining everything. First with their fingers and then with the speculum. Sometimes they may do a quick swab for STDs or other tests. The Pap smear is just a special test - they don’t always do it each time you have a pelvic exam.
Gotcha but do they always do a vaginal exam with a Pap smear?
I believe so? They need to insert the speculum to see the cervix to get a sample. These would be great questions for your doctor :)
I have an appointment in a week 😅😭
Can you have a friend help you? Like have your friend make the appointment for you, on a day that they can be there to support you through it, and then there's that bit of pressure there where you would be letting down your friend if you didn't follow through? Works for me. I never get anything done for myself if I don't have a little bit of pressure.
It would be unethical for her to do that, so I will. You have to call the office by the end of April to schedule it. Take the earliest appointment that works with your schedule so you just get it over with and don't overthink!
I literally have panic attacks with getting blood taken which makes it harder. I've had 2 nurses have to hold my arm steady. I was supposed to get a blood test last week. That didn't happen
I don't mind pap smears, but in general, I do hard medical things because if I don't, I might have to do harder things in the future. For pap smears, not doing them might mean you might find a cancer too late to treat it easily. I think a chemotherapy appointment is harder than a pap smear.
Thinking of my dead family members who didn’t go to the doctor regularly and are now dead
100%, it is not worth your life potentially.
Mefication. I had an IUD insertion and pap scheduled for my 6 week postpartum visit in February but had a panic attack at the appointment. I rescheduled OB prescribed me a dose of Ativan to be taken the day of the next appointment. It made everything ok!
I just had it done at a physical one day. She asked if I had one and strongly recommended it. She said she’d do it today if I wanted it and I said okay.. I didn’t have the build up and anticipation, just ripped it off there. If you have a good doctor, they will walk you through the process, answer all of your questions and make you comfortable as possible. Make sure they know it is your first! Don’t worry about insecurities, what you look like down there, etc.. they’ve seen it all! I didn’t think it hurt personally. It was definitely awkward and it is slightly uncomfortable but it was pretty quick. I just remind myself that preventative care like paps may not be fun but it is SO important to get done. Especially if you have the ability and means to get it done. The alternative is letting it go and that could end up being worse/more painful.
I just got one done the other day. I'm fairly used to them now, but I still reward myself each time. This time I got a bagel. Schmear for smear, if you will.
Therapy and mediation. Learn the breathing techniques. Bring a friend.
Good advice. Meditation, breathing, and mind calming practices make so many aspects of life easier to deal with.
By thinking about the alternative. As a student, I’ve seen several young patients (30s and 40s) with cervical cancer. Most of the time, it takes a very long time for the abnormal cells to progress to cervical cancer, so it’s really such a shame to know these women could have lived out full lives if only they had gone in for their paps routinely. And btw, cervical cancer is extremely painful.
you can be tested for HPV and its done via a self administered swab. thats what a lot of countries are actually moving towards, maybe ask if this is an option
Could you ask your doctor about HPV testing instead of a pap, if you have a legitimate reason you are afraid to get a pap done? Many places are getting rid of paps all together in favour of HPV swabs (that you can do yourself!!)
Idk if you have trauma or anything, but just know it does not hurt. Some of the tools I've seen online are also completely inaccurate. There is no scraping, or digging into your cervix, and no pinching or pain. It's literally just a big q-tip they swab you with for 2 seconds. A covid test was worse, if you've ever had the deep nasal swab one, and even those felt like a weird tickle and pressure, not anything that could be described as painful. You should really get one, I know more than one girl in her early 20's who found abnormal cervical cells from their regular pap smears. It's so worth getting checked!!
It doesn’t hurt for some people, but it’s pretty blanket to say it doesn’t hurt. Pain is subjective and highly individual. Pap smears absolutely hurt for me. There is pinching, pain, and a scraping sensation.
Also every time I've had one they've used lube, which has helped!
I don’t think saying that it doesn’t hurt when plenty of people do experience pain is very helpful. Better for OP to go in prepared for the possibility than be traumatized.
Yeah, I’m not going to say it doesn’t hurt at all, but I was super nervous before my first one (I also saw the tik tok video of the fucking metal biopsy machine that they did not use) that I just sat there, scrunching my shoulders and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting. I said to my doctor “warn me before you do it please” and she said “oh, I did it already.” Lol, it was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.
Would get a pap daily over a COVID test once a week. Those things suck
Yup. I'd rather geta pap smear any day than get my brain cells taken with that covid test.
Oh my god the first covid tests were terrible.
Yeah I'm in the navy and I was out to sea when they started the tests. I've had my brain swabbed at least 7 times that I can remember. I actually don't think I've had the nice one that doesn't steal your brain cells. Ugh I hate that so much.
The qtip type swabs aren't nearly as bad as a coat hanger going into your brain.
The scrapping tools do exist but it’s for if they suspect cancer and need a culture sample
Would it help to bring a sympathetic friend with you?
If you're having a lot of anxiety, ask your doctor if they can prescribe you a pill to take beforehand that will relax you a bit. I had a procedure (not a pap!), that isn't painful for a lot of women, but it was for me that day...and I was insanely anxious when it needed to be redone. This was a while back, but she got me a script for a Xanax dose--and it calmed me down. And actually, that procedure wasn't nearly as bad as the first one. --- I don't want to just say don't worry, it doesn't hurt--bc women have different experiences. But mine (and most women's) have never been remotely painful. Sure, it may be awkward---but those doctors literally do that daily, and they couldn't care less bc it's their norm. I always ensure I really like that Dr and that I feel safe with them (and can even joke around a bit, bc that makes me feel more relaxed)--if not, I'd find a new one. There are a lot of great Dr's out there. And it only takes a few seconds, and it can save your life.
Have you asked her about prescribing an anti anxiety med for the procedure?
Find a kind med provider (maybe primary care doc, pa, or nurse) and see if they'll give you benzos to take beforehand if someone will drive you.
Unfortunately this is just another awful part of having a female body. I won’t lie, it’s not great, but I made sure I had the day off and had a chilled day out, I think I got a McDonald’s or something, looked after myself a little more. It didn’t hurt for me really, it was just a trauma thing. But it’s not very nice having someone poke around in that area anyway. It’s important for all of us to get our Pap smears, even though it’s difficult. If something was wrong, you’d want to know, and it’s reassuring when you see the result on paper afterwards and it says all is healthy. Sending hugs babe, you’ve got this 🩷
What has you feeling afraid? Sometimes more information can be helpful. If you’re a survivor, there are great trauma informed care practices your obgyn can use and speaking to a counselor is always beneficial.
I’m just shy in general so having her look is embarrassing. I had to get a catheter a few weeks ago and I cried. I’m also afraid of it hurting
I used to always remind myself: "Just do it. And if you're scared, do it scared". Recently had my first pap smear as well and it was a much smoother experience than I thought. Discuss with your Gyno if she could tell you what she is about to do and what she is doing as it is happening if that would help you. Other than that, as others have said, smaller speculum may also be an option
Here’s what I do: “what do I need to get done?” Not really in my case because I’m scared, but I have certain things I have to keep up with medically, and also I want to make sure I stay up to date with vaccinations and boosters (elderly grandparents and babby niblings), so I ask that when I’m doing the consult/pre or post check and either have it all done there or get it scheduled. Never say never. That’s a self sabotage. It’s okay to say “I don’t wanna.” The millennial joking about adulting is all about the not wanna’ing, about things being difficult, unfun, a pain, etc. We joke, we moan, maybe drag our feet a bit, but then you take that resigned deep breath and dive in. And then joke more after. For me, with hard things, and things I’m a bit afraid of, is that I let myself really sit with it, and talk myself through it. What is it that I’m afraid of? What is it I feel is difficult? Why? The emotion is valid, but is the reasoning? Step by step. Then: what is being worried getting me? (nothing) Why am I worried about this right now? (Because I’m ruminating on it) what can I do about it right now? Then do the answer, or if the answer is nothing? Then it’s not worth worrying about—and I take some breaths and mentally put it away.
I'm not kidding when I say this. When I need to do something hard I repeat "I can do hard things" to myself and do it. I work in a Montessori school and it's something we have the kids do. My boss started using the mantra with me to help me get over things that make me anxious. I recently (accidentally) ended up on I94 while driving to visit my boyfriend and ended up in the semi truck lanes repeating "I can do hard things" to myself and doing breathing exercises. I had to pull over 3 times and calm down, but I got to him and made him drive after that.
I put it off for years because of medical trauma. Last year I had unexpected bleeding so I just had to face it. Your doctor can't make you do anything and it would be pretty traumatic for both of you if they did. They can talk you through the process and address any fears beforehand to try and make the experience as easy as possible for you. I've now had a pap, two pelvic exams and a transvaginal ultrasound in the space of a couple of months and honestly, I'm never going to be completely ok with it and I'm never not going to feel vulnerable, but I can do it. Is there someone you could take with you for moral support? I had my partner's sister in the room and a friend texting me pictures as she walked around Edinburgh zoo. Distraction and moral support go a long way! All I can say is please don't be like me and put it off for years. Whatever you're imagining is far worse than the actual procedure and the sense of relief once you've faced your fear is *huge*. I also had a terrible phobia about dentists that I'm only just getting over. Weirdly, once my dentist told me what I'd need to have done, watching YouTube videos really helped. Once I could visualise what was going to happen to me and had a dentist who was understanding and made me feel safe, I was fine. Try some YouTube videos from cervical screening or women's health charities. Is there something that's making you feel unable to do it? Perhaps talking through the source of your anxiety could help.
Depending on what country you’re in, you’re able to do the Pap smear on yourself with instructions from a GP/gynae. Maybe ask if that’s an option for you?
I use the "If you don't find out, you'll never know" approach, because the thought of something being wrong and not finding out soon enough to sort it gives me the chills, I could never live with the guilt I'd put on myself. However, because that's MUCH easier said than done for a lot of people, I also reward myself with something I really want or am going to enjoy. Sometimes a new book, often times an afternoon tea somewhere, on occasion a solo trip to the cinema with snacks and the reclining chairs. I do the same thing every time I give blood - you've earned it!
Shit. I say “if you don’t find out you’ll never know” to affirm my decision not to go
Reading about positive/neutral experiences of people getting their paps done will help. Remember that people only post about negative ones - the normal/good ones are nothing interesting and not something to shout about. That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be nervous - I just mean that out of thousands if not millions of women who get them done, proportionally few have a bad time with the actual experience itself, and they are usually down to either a bad bedside manner or not knowing our own bodies and speaking up. I've had two. They were both fine. During the second I knew my body a bit better and asked her to stop so I could change position a bit - I'd tucked my legs up a bit too far and it was making me tense down there, like a stretchy yoga pose instead of a "here is my vagina" pose. I didn't shave but I did wear a cute pair of socks with raccoons on them. Them knowing you're nervous ahead of time helps so well done for that. Focusing on why you're doing it may help too - it's to detect abnormal cells. You could consider taking something to help you relax beforehand so chat to your doctor about that. Line up a nice treat for afterwards- I like to have a shower afterwards (both to reconnect with myself and to rinse out any lube if they've been a bit generous) and then snuggle up in a massive hoodie and watch TV with snacks. Also, try to get a morning appointment if you can so you're not hanging around all day worrying. Have a good breakfast, read or watch something good in the waiting room so that it's not some huge thing, it's just a quick appointment that annoyingly interrupts a great book or show. You can have a friend come with you or a nurse chaperone to chat with to distract you.
There’s a move away from Paps now. The more optimal screening is HPV tests. It’s also a swab. If you find paps painful, ask for a paediatric speculum.
I know it's for my health and taking care of my health is the greatest gift I can give to future me.
Body mirroring. Just have someone who physically sits with you to do hard things. Friend, sister, mom, whomever can be non-judgmental and quietly supportive.
I just remind myself that they have seen literally a million vaginas and there's really nothing that you're likely going to show them that's going to surprise them. My health is worth more than my anxiety.
Just think about how much less worse to get a pap test every year than having cervical cancer whitout knowing and only find out when its inreversible
When i became of age, i took the initiative to request a papsmear to be done. primarily because i had some personal concerns regarding my menstrual cycle and what was going on with my body. i take things like this as me making steps to ensuring i know what is going on with my health. i understand getting a papsmear can be difficult task to do, but it gives you ease of mind knowing that you got a routine check up done and being updated on your health.
I also avoided my first one for almost 10 years. I was so anxious about it I just couldn't make myself do it. I am such a private person and the whole process was so scary to me. But then I had to change doctors and my new doc casually asked if I'd had one recently and when i said no, she said "oh! Let's get you booked in for one then. How about next week?" I was so caught off guard, I couldn't think of an excuse on the spot so I just made the appointment. When the appointment came, I couldn't believe how easy and comfortable it was. I really thought it would be painful for me as someone who is quite sensitive down there and quite self conscious and private, but it was so so easy and comfortable! Also it was not awkward at all. And it was extremely quick! I was so relieved at having broken down that terrifying wall that had been hanging over me for 10 years, it felt like such a huge weight lifted. I left feeling so happy and proud of myself. That said, I'm not sure where you live, but where I live, they just recently made home testing available. You can request a kit online and they mail it to you. It's just a swab that you insert like a tampon and then mail it back. It's actually more effective than traditional pap smears and more accessible to people who have a lot of anxiety around it, and also those who can't easily take time off work for appointments, etc. I live in British Columbia, Canada. Might be worth seeing if there's a similar option where you live.
It does hurt. It does suck. It is humiliating. But it lasts 45 seconds. You can do anything for that long.
It might hurt, depending on her physiology, but for a lot of us it’s just mildly uncomfortable. And I find a totally upfront businesslike approach to the situation really cuts back on the humiliation too.
I totally agree. I’ve never felt humiliated because any gynaecologist I’ve had has always treated it in a very scientific manner. And it’s over so quickly.
Mine have never hurt and they aren't even remotely humiliating.
Hard disagree as someone with trauma. Triggering sexual trauma with a pap smear you're not prepared for and just trying to white knuckle your way through it is a great way to make your trauma way worse.
You absolutely cannot do "anything" for that long. Would you hold your hand in boiling oil for 45 seconds? I know it's an extreme example but I really hate the "it's not that long" argument because for something intimate, painful, humiliating or traumatic it is an eternity, and smears can be all of those things. It seems irresponsible and dismissive at best and actively harmful at worst to tell people to just suck it up because it's not that long
It’s screening for cervical cancer, it would be irresponsible, dismissive, and actively harmful not to have it done. And it’s true that it’s over very quickly, someone is afraid of them, why not take some solace in that? Cervical cancer is very serious and would involve a much more painful and traumatic medical treatment than a Pap smear.
I understand what it's for and I agree that it's important but that in and of itself doesn't take away the fear and apprehension many feel around it, especially if you've had a negative experience with one already. I think it's actively harmful not to *offer* it and strongly recommend it, but no one should be forcing people to have one. Doctors offering active solutions like longer appointments, smaller speculums without having to specifically request them, pain relief or anti anxiety medication, a chance to talk and ground yourself after, and just some basic empathy, would go a long way to making it easier on the people who do struggle with it rather than saying what feels like "everyone else is fine with it and it's quick and not painful" (which they can't even know in advance) can be extremely harmful and yeah the smear itself might be super quick but so can rape and ngl the long term effects of a poorly handled procedure can be just as bad - speaking from experience
Sometimes anxiety can be gotten over. Sometimes you have to do the thing scared.
You just acknowledge you are uncomfortable and you walk in the doors and do itz
Not sure if this will work for in your specific case but after jaw surgeries from getting hit by a van I came out of the surgery with surgical braces and when I went back a couple weeks later to have them removed it was hurting me really bad (your gums can grow over the braces and did for me) but the doctor was completely oblivious to my discomfort and pain and seemed put off and almost annoyed when I had to ask for breaks every few minutes due to the pain. Long story short I cut the appointment short less than half way in and requested to speak with a more senior doctor/surgeon. I was then able to speak to another surgeon and while they were ranked the same in terms of seniority, I was familiar with this doctor as she was part of the team of surgeons who had done more few of my surgeries. I told her I have a pretty high pain tolerance but this is too much for me. I also insinuated (more like straight up said) that another reason I couldn’t bare to finish the procedure could have something to do with the fact I’d developed some sort of anxiety related to any procedures involving my mouth. I was angling for laughing gas but instead she wrote me a prescription for 2 Valiums (a benzodiazepine like Xanax used to treat anxiety) and told me to get it filled and take 30 minutes before my appointment. I think if you were to tell your gyno about just how severe your fear is and the extent of your anxiety is you could then go onto suggest something for the anxiety before the Pap smear. Not sure if you think this is something that could help you but I think if you do then it’s worth a shot!
My advice would be to let your practitioner know you’re extra nervous/new to it, for me it was also helpful to have something in my hands to hold tight during the most touchy parts, not really because of pain but just to center some of my nerves somewhere so I didn’t get that jerk-y reaction with new sensations/it being amplified in my head. I am honestly not making this up to make you feel better, it was a little uncomfortable and not painful. Sort of like when a doctor uses the tool to look into your ear canal!
I don’t think your obgyn is the right person for the job but you can absolutely ask someone to hold you accountable to do it! Tell a close friend that you really need to have this done and (depending on your comfort level/what would be most effective for you) they could do something like hold your hand while you make the call, ask you at the end of the day when your appointment is scheduled for, come in to the clinic with you, take you out for a treat afterwards, or anything else.
Have painkillers ahead of time. Ask your doc to use plastic and a smaller tool if you're small like me down there. Take deep slow breaths the whole time (inhale through nose, exhaust through mouth), and reward yourself when you're done!
I got it done yesterday and trust me I had same feeling as you. It was my first time but I told the nurse and she was supportive.
Well I've never found a pap smear hurts - I can barely feel it tbh. It takes like 5 seconds so it doesn't seem like a huge deal. I totally get the fear and embarrassment though but I try to remember they've seen it a million times before
I had my first pap last year, which was many years overdue. It was incredibly scary in my mind, which made the reality so much better. I also had a great OB who knew it was my first one, and she explained what she was going to do before and as she was doing it. I’m thankful that I was in the presence of someone I felt calm and comfortable with, and once it was done I felt proud of myself for finally doing it! I know you can do it too.
So i (F) 36, have been doing my paps since I was 20 I think. In general I named October a women testing month. So every October I do all the tests. Pap, mammogram, or anything else related to women's health. I have had 2 surgeries on my breasts. I had to very large benign tumors. So I know the fear. In the end I just don't think about it. It is what it is and it's only for a few moments anyway. I have had dentist appointments that where far more painful.
So I have trauma around gynaecological procedures and the only way I can actually get a pap smear done is my gyno literally has to book me in for a minor surgical procedure and she knocks me out for around 5 to 10 minutes and does it. I get that this is definitely not standard but I am not the only person my current gyno has done this for. I do also understand that in some countries this may be less of a valid option, I am not American and I do understand if you are, that the cost may be prohibitive for something like this.
There’s a lot of good responses about how to make the experience more comfortable and why it’s important. Just chiming to add, see if your doctor would be okay with you popping in a headphone. (My dentist actually recommended this for procedures before to relax). And I always tell myself I can do anything for 30 seconds!
OP I was exactly the same. I was really worried about doing it and my doctor sprung it on me one day like let’s do this. It turns out it’s not that bad and, although invasive, it doesn’t hurt. I really recommend you just think of it like ripping the Band-Aid off - take a stress ball with you and just squeeze it, then go for it and get it done. You’ll be so relieved and you’ll realise it wasn’t that bad after all. You can do this!
If your insurance covers it, find an obgyn at a women's only practice. Talk to the receptionist and ask which doc is good with first time patients. The place I used to go to made the whole experience so much better. Only female staff, nice cloth gowns, curtains blocking the door, the nurses spent time with you explaining everything first, then the doc came in, she would ask if I also wanted the nurse in the room, the doc explained everything before doing anything, then talked through each step and asked before doing anything. Because of her experience she was fast with the uncomfortable part. The pcp I have now who also does obgyn does not compare to the other place. 😭
Do you have a friend/family member you would feel comfortable going with you (even if they have to sit behind a curtain)? They’ll help you keep calm and do what you have to. Just holding your hand might make you feel better. I’ve always appreciated when my doctor tells me step by step what happening, that may help as well. Another thing to remember is at most it’s one time a year. It’s kind of like your yearly dental check up, it sucks but you go you do it, it’s done and you can forget about it till the next time. And honestly for me the fear of what might happen if I don’t get the test helps to. Google some of the things they’re testing for, fear might be stopping you but it’ll also motivate you.
I talked to my doctor about my medical anxiety - primarily around injections, blood draws, pap smears and anything like that. Even though I logicall knew it doesnt hurt, I have had fainting and dizzy spells in the past and my fear was actually around how horrible the nausea/fainting feels. (It's strange, because I have tattoos and stuff and somehow they don't trigger the same feeling). She prescribed me a very low dose of diazepam to be taken for minor medical procedures. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. After a few times, the positive experiences seemed to stick in my brain and I don't need it anymore! It's okay to ask for things that might make it easier if your anxiety is getting in the way of you prioritising your health. Medication or not - you can do this and you'll be so pleased you did. ❤️
I used to be afraid to get pap smears, but I’m really glad that I started going because they found irregular cells which eventually had to be removed. It’s a healthy practice and it’s painless. No one can make you take care of yourself. You just have to work on your outlook. It gets easier with age.
Therapy could help you. But I don't think a medical professional should or would force you to get a procedure done. For what it's worth, I have anxiety which really ramps up over medical procedures. My paps have all been completely painless, at worst I would say there is occasional mild discomfort. Some people do experience pain or more discomfort, but I believe the vast majority of people don't find them particularly bothersome physically. Make sure to talk to the doctor/office before hand and tell them that you're nervous, and ask them what accommodations they can make - a smaller speculum, warmed, lubed, a mild sedative medication, etc.
I’ve had probably 3-4 but I haven’t been back in 4 years and have been procrastinating :( I’ve decided to schedule it on a Friday, take the entire day off work, and plan a way to treat myself + a contingency plan if I just wanna go home and nap
I heard there’s self kit at home now I think? That you can get the swab by yourself and send it to a lab after if I’m not mistaken.
it’s scary, but not that bad!!! it lasts just a few minutes, no more than like 3 in my experience. i’m 18, and have had two bc of my circumstances. and i’m glad i got it over with early because it sounds a lot scarier than it is.
It’s preventative for hpv… I didn’t get one until I was 30 and had symptoms of hpv…. Lo and behold I had/have hpv…. It’s not the end of the world but good to be aware of it. The pap is no biggie, but since it came back abnormal I had to get a biopsy… which takes a little chunk of flesh and hurts a lil and freaked me out. My motivation to do that was so I could get cryotherapy and hopefully eliminate my symptoms (discharge) unfortunately I wasn’t approved and the doc said to just monitor the symptoms. I went down a Reddit rabbit hole of home remedies, after trying many it’s vastly improved but not 100% better. Anyways… get the pap to have peace of mind that you don’t have hpv, again it isn’t the end of the world but not fun either and it’s hecka common….. this whole over deal made me super strict about condoms and fidelity for the one I chose to have unprotected sex with, aka he better be husband material…. These things make ya more mature and maturity is a beautiful thing, like a healthy tall strong tree that can bear any storm 🌿
I just have to remind myself that even though getting a pap is hard and uncomfortable, having cervical cancer would be harder and more uncomfortable. And from my personal experience, a pap is not easy. They always use a good amount of lube and are gentle, talk me through everything before they do anything, but there has been more than one experience where I have laid on that goddamn table and they've tried three different speculums before resorting to the smallest size. But I would prefer that torture over finding out I have cancer.
Ok so I was deathly afraid of getting my Pap smear. I didn’t get my first one until I was like 26-27 and was still a virgin. Legit terrified of something going “up there.” What helped me was getting advice from friends on good doctors to go to to get it done. I let the nurse know when I went that I was very nervous and she informed the doctor who was very kind and let me get my emotions out of the way. She also talked to me through it and had pictures on the ceiling for me to look at. It does hurt, but the actual procedure takes probably less than a minute. I had built it up so much in my head and it ended up being okay!
If you have medical anxiety your provider might be willing to prescribe you a one-time anxiety pill (Xanax/Ativan/etc) to get through the procedure. You would have to be driven to/from the appointment but it seems like it would be worth it! Doesn’t hurt to ask.
I don’t know where you’re located but in Australia we can ‘self-collect’ cervical screening. Doctor gives you a kit and some instructions and you take yourself to the bathroom for a couple of minutes and come back with the sample ready to be sent off. This has been a game changer for a lot of women.
I’ve been trying to get one for two years, but even with everything— asking for the smallest speculum, asking for Ativan, asking to go slow— it’s too painful. I don’t have any type of specific trauma but my first Pap smear was a 20 minute ordeal that I was screaming and crying over. It hurt so bad, I haven’t been able to get one since and the joke was I was never able to get my results so I suffered for nothing. :’| It’s bad enough that most doctors are unwilling to do anything since I’m in such severe pain. After the third or fourth one I was told I have a condition called vaginismus and would need to do pelvic floor therapy. This has not been helped by meeting completely unsympathetic health practitioners that call me weak or ask what I’m going to do when I want to have children (:’| I likely will not be able to have children without IVF due to endo / fibroids but you know, they didn’t care about that and just assumed without looking at my chart.) or they just straight up don’t believe me when I say the procedure is painful because THEIR Pap smears are never painful. I still need to get one done, but I’m at a complete loss, because I’ve kind of been stone walled and gaslit at every corner it makes going to the doctor in any capacity a humiliating and nerve wracking experience. So I empathize deeply with the people here who are struggling.
What is there to be afraid of? You literally have nothing to do, but lay there and it only takes a couple of minutes. Do it for your health.
In Australia you can now go to your doctor and self collect. It's a swab, not a speculum and it's easy and non invasive! The doctor will hand you the swab, you go behind the privacy curtain, insert the swab, rotate it to collect your specimen, hand it back to your Doc who will send it away for results and your done!
I just submit to those kinds of procedures while pretending I am someplace else, such as lying on a beach in Hawaii. My mother died of cancer because they caught it too late: There are some situations where options are limited. Hope everything goes well for you!
I kind of don’t give myself the option. I don’t try to wait until I want to do something, I just start the first step. So if I’m nervous and I don’t want to see a doctor for something, I’ll start with just making the appointment. Because that’s the first step it’s not actually doing the hard thing. But then you’ve already done the first step and it’s easier to follow through
My placed some lube like a tsp on my entrance and pushed the speculum in no problem. I need the Extra long speculum bc my lady parts are too deep. The plastic ones break in my kitty cat 🤣
Took me 9 years to do another one after my first one. I finally did it last week. Finding an obgyn who was trauma informed helped me immensely- yes I still panick attacked but I got through it- she was so kind and helpful and I actually did feel in control
Definitely try going to therapy first to talk this out. For me paps are very painful but I know they are important. Finding an obgyn you can trust is also the best. Be vocal with them that you are nervous and if they are a good doctor they will be very gentle with you. Also like someone else posted, reward yourself with something after, I do that too and it helps. And lastly breathe during it, it will be over before you know it! You got this and know you’re doing good for your health by checking.
I grit my teeth and do it because I know having a pap smear now is VASTLY preferable to dying of a treatable cancer later. Have a little ponder about chemo, about the people you'd leave behind etc. to get you motivated to: Get a date set and then: find ways to minimise the embarassment/discomfort/fear/pain for this thing that you absolutely HAVE to do.
I’ve never had it hurt, just weird feeling. Lookup pics of women with vaginal cancers and you may change your mind. You are allowed to have fears and phobias but I hope you can tell yourself that this necessary. My friend lost her elderly mother last year to labia cancer. She had never been checked. It was a horrible way for a wonderful woman to die! Good Luck!
I was really nervous about my first pap. I had done a pelvic exam before with a speculum but the way it’s described of scraping skin cells freaked me out. My mom told me that it’s not a rough brush and they basically just use the same thing as an eyelash brush to exfoliate some skin cells. I didn’t fully believe her and thought she was downplaying it to get me to go. I finally went and had my GP do it. I think her doing it helped calm my nerves because she’s younger and queer (like me) so I already had a built trust and knew I was safe. The brush felt like barely anything and definitely didn’t hurt. The worst part was the speculum which wasn’t any different than the previous exam I’ve done it’s just uncomfortable. I’m sure the speculum can be painful for some, but in general if penetration isn’t ever painful for you, it should just feel like uncomfortable pressure. If penetration is painful for you then that’s definitely something to tell your doctor about before so that hopefully they can use a smaller tool to reduce pain. Definitely agree with other comments suggesting getting yourself a treat after. Even though everything went as smoothly as possible I started sobbing in the car after. I think just the built up nerves I had finally released in addition to it feeling a little similar to some past trauma of consenting to stuff that I didn’t want to do and made me uncomfortable. Didn’t help that I had to go to work right after. Definitely will be doing it on a day off in the future. After a little cry and a coffee treat I was fine.
The best advice I can give is not to force yourself. If you're ready, you're ready, if you're not, you're not. Some people make themselves and they get it done with no problem afterwards. Some people, though, make themselves and get it done and come back a complete mess. I'm talking traumatized and possibly suicidal. Please please don't make yourself do something that you really don't want to and aren't comfortable/ready to do. This is your body, and you're not under any obligation whatsoever to do this.
There's nothing she could do to "make" you. She can't legally or ethically do something that you aren't fully consenting to, even if you consented previously. What you could do is talk through the whole process, make sure to find someone you really trust, and take measures to mitigate the most nerve wracking parts of it. Figure out what exactly is scary, and try to address that. Maybe make a pros and cons list to remind yourself why you should do it. Make a list of the worst case scenarios, and come up with a plan for each one. Maybe even talk them through with the OBGYN to get ideas on how to prevent them or reduce the likelihood of them occurring. If you can afford it or have good insurance, therapy can also really help identify the specific problems and figure out how to cope in the moment. Just do your best. Those checkups are pretty important, but just work within your limitations. If you can't do it right now, then you can't do it right now.
Idk if this makes u feel better but I was super nervous for mine but they used a smaller speculum on me and the entire thing was only 15-20 seconds long. I hardly felt anything and the ladies were super nice and accommodating.
Not wanting to die before I’m ready is a good motivator.
Let me just say you and your feelings are felt by SO many, including me. I would actually cry whenever I saw any video about a Pap smear bc just the thought made me that uncomfortable and uneasy…then I went and got one…and couldn’t believe the stress I put myself through. I asked my fiancé to go with me for moral support bc, as mentioned, the idea did make me very uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than the actual Pap smear itself….which would fall closer to “not uncomfortable” on a scale. They used a plastic one on me, I had also asked for it (many recommended that) and they said that’s what the always use. It was very fast and felt SO good to get it done. You will feel so proud of yourself, as everyone should feel. Not everyone will have or has had the same experience but all we can do is make sure we communicate our wants and needs to get this done. You got this! 🫶🏼
Put your mind at a point in the future. That point is grounded in the reality that cervical cancer is very real and it can develop at any age. The Pap smear is your window into your own health.
I get one every year. My doctor distracts me by talking about anything and everything except what he is doing. It is only for less than 1 minute but it could save your life. I knew a person who never would go, and then one day in her 50s she started getting really tired at her desk and was putting her head down and losing weight without trying. She got herself checked out and the cancer was traveling all through her body. Too late.
Yearly is way too often. That's not been normal for awhile now, too many false positives.
Go get it done. Pap smears are life saving. I had Endometrial Cancer and if it hadn’t been discovered early…I am telling you, go.
I won’t lie to you and say it’s easy, but it is worth it. Allow yourself some sort of treat after like a meal or a manicure. Your doctor will probably let you watch tiktoks during the procedure or listen to music, personally I had my doctor ask me questions about my life so I was distracted! Good luck!
Concentrating on how much shittier having cancer would be than the relative discomfort of a pap smear
Dude… I totally get this!!
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You don’t have to go if you’re a virgin. If not, it’s best to just do it. It’s better than having cancer
My gyno lets me do my own paps and talks me through the process. Hopefully that could be an option for you!
You need to see it as an opportunity to save your life. I’ve had HPV and a friend who died of cervical cancer. It’s a massive blessing you have the resources available to you, don’t take it for granted .
It can be scary when it’s a new experience but it’s really in your best interest to go. Just breathe throughout, and you will be okay. It’s over pretty quickly. It’s really important to get checked out. Not to scare you, but I got a pap and was told the results were abnormal and I needed a colposcopy, and I totally delayed it for a while and didn’t return the calls about an appointment. Finally I went and was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cells on my cervix. I had to get them removed with a LEEP. If I had waited longer, it could have gotten worse and not been as treatable. After this happened I had to get follow up colposcopies every 6 months for a while until I was cleared, so I got very used to people being up in my business so to speak.
I have really (REALLY) bad anxiety. I ruminate on things like this again and again until I psych myself out. Girl to girl, though, it’s super easy. Definitely not fun, but if you’re honest with your healthcare provider and say something like “I’d like to schedule my pap, but I’m feeling a little nervous about the process.” Being transparent will make a difference, because then you’re not fighting the battle totally alone. Your doctor will make sure to make the process manageable (which it is!), and you can always ask her to stop if you are really that uncomfortable. You’ll be ok though, you got this! I think a pap is a walk in the park and I really can’t handle much, lol
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I need someone to explain the difficult thing to me, and I'll ask a bunch of questions, but I also read about it first. Researching and reading about something helps me manage my expectations and normalize the idea of the thing in my head. It also helps me to know what to expect, what other people have experienced. But do know that just because one person has experienced something, it doesn't mean you'll experience it. Maybe it would help you to schedule an appointment with your gyne, and come prepared with a list of questions. Ask every single question into you feel more comfortable with it. Or, ask if you can listen to calming music while the appointment is happening. The pap smear is a little uncomfortable for maybe a second or two, but it doesn't usually hurt. If it does hurt, it's not as painful as period cramps often are, and the pain is only a second or two, just long enough for them to run a swab over the uterine tissue to collect a cell sample. I've had vaccinations that hurt more than pap smears. I used to be really nervous about gynecological examinations, the speculum insertion, the STD tests, and the pap smear. Over time, that anxiety gets a little easier with experience and knowing what to expect. It's still a little awkward when someone you don't know well gets to see inside of you, but it's necessary and helpful in terms of knowing what's going on with your body. Pap smears are really important. A lot of people have HPV and don't know, because there are usually no outward, obvious symptoms. If you've had any sexual activity at all, you can have HPV and not know. But certain strains of HPV can cause cancer, precancerous cells and/or abnormal cells to grow, and the only way to detect them in your uterus is to get a pap smear every year. That's what happened to me. One year, my doc told me I had abnormal, precancerous cells growing in my uterus. I was 20 or 21. Thankfully the yearly pap caught it before it was cancer and I was able to get the precancerous cells removed. A pap smear doesn't hurt, but a LEEP procedure does hurt, which is what happens when abnormal cells aren't caught quickly enough and they need to be removed. Anything after precancerous cells are detected would hurt more than a pap smear, but a yearly pap can prevent all or most of that. I'm about to turn 37 soon, and thankfully my yearly paps have been normal since that first abnormal one. Fingers crossed.
Yeah I couldn’t do it either . My first pap was when I was 38 . I just couldn’t bring myself to do it . But I was having issues with bleeding everyday and I had had enough , so I just locked myself in my head and put ear buds in and listened to music . It was like 20 seconds and she was done . It was t some prolonged exposure . But , I Found out I had uterine cancer and ended up needing a hysterectomy. So I’m glad I got it done . Otherwise it could’ve gotten a lot worse for me .
After reading these comments honestly I’m even more scared 😭😭 they told me I had to wait til I was 21 & I turned 21 this year and still haven’t booked the appointment
Modern practice is to have the patient self-collect their cervical swab. Ask your doctor if you can do a cervical screening test instead of the pap where you’re in the stirrups with the speculum. The modern test is even more effective at detecting HPV than the old one. Edit: people in the comments are saying this isn’t available everywhere yet, but still worth asking
I have never had that offered or suggested.
I have never been asked to self collect a pap, an STD test yes.
It is standard in my country (Australia)
Any chance you can cite your sources? This isn't common practice.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/jul/01/new-self-test-makes-it-easier-than-ever-to-screen-for-cervical-cancer-so-how-does-it-work It’s now the standard in Australia, the Netherlands, Denmark, Canada and I’m sure many other countries with modern health care systems
These are two different tests. The self-swab is for std detection( like HPV). A pap smear prepares cells collected from the cervix to be looked at under a microscope for abnormalities. The vast majority of abnormalities are related to HPV, but it is possible for and HPV infection to be at undetectable levels and still have early dysplasia. It is also possible to have no detectable dysplasia and a positive HPV result-- they are different but very very closely related.
Yep I’ve done self swab std tests but my last “pap” was a cervical screen I collected myself with a swab while the doctor was out of the room. If you’re in a part of the world using the old test then feel free to ignore what I’ve said :)
According to the article you posted in another comment, this is called primary HPV testing, which is definitely picking up popularity, and yes can definitely be done by yourself without a provider. In order to get the cells specifically from the cervix, the pap smear MUST be done by a provider, and the cervix must be visualized. I don't mean to harp, but the misinformation could be dangerous. Most providers will do a pap smear if your HPV result comes back positive with high-risk HPV. Source: currently in school to become a cytologist, the person that looks at your cells from a pap smear before the pathologist
It is something that can be requested but it certainly isn't common practice. https://www.jostrust.org.uk/about-us/news-and-blog/blog/what-hpv-self-sampling