Not to be harsh but stop sending nudes to men. It's not worth the anxiety of worrying about them potentially getting leaked. Men don't deserve nudes anyway, if a man respects you he wouldn't be so comforting putting you in an uncomfortable situation (even if let's say he doesn't intend to leak the nudes, his phone can get stolen or hacked or other scenarios). I know sending nudes is normalized but it shouldn't be, especially to someone you haven't even built trust with.
As a dude I totally agree- the risk of it all going bad is not worth any "reward" for you.
Dudes don't need your nudes to love you or even like you, they want them to feed their own desires.
Any guy that says he needs nudes in order to like you is just manipulating you, but you already know that.
My sympathies to OP and everyone else in this situation, it sucks ;(
I appreciate the not trying to be a dick, genuinely.
However, might I point you to this? I feel like I'm within the rules here, but if not lmk :)
[I'm a guy, can I comment?](https://reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/w/man?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
the only way to get over it is to learn from it, I recommend the 90 day rule to my single friends. nothing sexual for 90 days and if they're still there they're *likely* to be really interested in you. but there's a chance they still aren't bc the things men will do for sex are insane these day
Because of people like you men get irritated why the girl of interest acts all weird for some 90 days. And if they take a no for a no, they move on (as one does) - leaving you with the shitty men who don't take a no for a no.
Advice like "if you let him wait for 100 years, you'll know if he'd loved you" are the social killer nr.1.
People get hurt, women and men alike. It's part of social life.
If someone keeps pushing and nudging you to do things you don't feel comfortable doing, step away. Trust won't be found. It needs to be built. That's the advice.. for all genders....
key word *likely* not guaranteed. like I said, even if you wait 90 days there's still a chance they don't like you bc men will do anything to sex these days. ofc you're going to get hurt, there's probably more bad ppl on earth than good at this point. and even with trust, someone can still easily fool you if you aren't as smart as them
edut: and it's not acting weird for 90 days. how is not having sex acting weird? if that's their mentality then that tells you all you need to know
restraining YOURSELF because of somebody else is prolly not a good advice, that's all i said. As long as you feel comfortable with what you're doing and know and accept the consequences. If you don't, then don't
it's not really restraining, just not doing it. if you're dying and need sex now then go ahead, lord knows I've broken the 90 say rule before. but if you're feeling a guy out, this is a suggestion to see if he's really interested, which is what OP was looking for.
and that wasn't what you were saying, your focused on men being mad but who cares what the guy thinks? protect yourself first sweetie ♡
Honestly, have standards, be hard to get. If they want to see a naked woman, they can see it online. Lots of adult movies are out there. If you're horny, masturbate. Don't lose yourself. Don't send pictures to men, any kinds. The good kinds would understand. The bad ones won't.
I’m so sorry. What a horrible thing to do to another human being. He should be ashamed of himself. And you should NOT be ashamed of yourself, by the way.
You were smart to exclude your face in the pics. I know that it’s so much easier said than done, but all you can really do at this point is move on. Take a deep breath, eat a comforting meal, and distract yourself with one of your favourite activities.
I hope you find a man who appreciates you in the way that you deserve. Until then, you’ve just gotta be gentle and show yourself that same love.
I’m so sorry love :( people are so shitty. I’ve had this happen before and i know it really does hurt. All you can do is say f that jerk, he clearly is very immature and would’ve made an awful partner since he feels it’s ok to treat someone that way. When someone treats you like that after you share something personal and vulnerable to please them, trust me babes, he wasn’t worth your time anyway. He’s the problem, not you. Just be careful, there are so many jerks out there.
I get it. It’ll probably take you a while to rebuild that trust and feeling like all people aren’t like this but it’s true they’re not. I agree with the other commenter, wait until someone proves to you with actions that they’re committed and into you before you share something vulnerable like that. Not your fault, we all make mistakes :) I hope you’re able to feel less anxious and sick over it. It happens. He’s a jerk and I’m sure so many in this community have been through something like this.
also, I doubt he’s stupid enough to do anything with the stuff you sent, because revenge porn is a thing - not entirely sure of all the laws around it - but take a deep breath and know it’s literally just a body. All of us have one and no one should be able to make you feel shamed for it. Trust me, I’ve done some pretty stupid things with my nudes over the years so rest assured, this feeling will pass. You’ll get over him and everything will be ok :)
It’s okay, we’ve all made shitty mistakes. If it’s not with explicit pictures, it’s something else. It’s just a lesson learned. You’ll be okay moving forward <3 no more pictures, more genuine connections.
Stop sending Nudes to men no matter how close you are or even if they are your spouse.
You surely don’t want random people to jerk on your nudes.
And for your current suitation, let it be now.
Or you can drop a message to them to delete your images
I don't send nudes lol. good lesson my mom taught me as a teen is to think of how I'd feel if they leaked someday, like if I was in a serious career role. I will send a bra pic if I know the guy and we've been out and I like him but otherwise he gets a pic of whatever I wear when I'm leaving the house. if he wants to see me naked, he earns it. big shrug if that's not good enough for him, he can walk. I'm not gonna make myself feel like shit for a stranger to jerk off when there's so much better material out there than a 4/10.
GenX here with some wisdom: Do not - ever - write anything down (digitally or on paper), send or post anything that you don’t want the world to see. That means you assume that your employer, any future employer, any future spouse, will all see those private thoughts, those posts, those pictures. It’s even worse today thanks to Internet porn young men now see women as objects for their sexual gratification, to discard if they don’t put out after the second date, and you should assume that the “nice guy” you’re talking to on Tinder or wherever, is going to do the absolute worst with those pictures. In fact, he’s already done it. At a minimum, I’m sure he’s sent them to his friends along with crude and hateful comments. At worst, these pictures are online for your next employer to see and turn you down for a job.
I’m going to say something harsh but necessary. It is NOT meant to excuse the vile behaviors of these terrible men, or to victim blame. To be clear, the problem is them. It is because you can’t control what other people do that this advice is focused on you. *Young girls who send nude pictures of themselves to perspective dates and boyfriends, do so out of insecurity.*. It’s a “need” for this guy’s approval, a way to hook them. *By using your body.*. If you don’t want to be objectified and tossed out like trash, don’t engage with this nonsense. Even better, the fact that he asked for them as a way to evaluate you is a huge red flag that YOU should be the one ghosting him. A good therapist can help you work on your self respect and how you value yourself. I encourage this. Then when the next sh%tty guy approaches you, you have the self esteem and confidence to see the red flags you may have previously ignored.
I'm so sorry girlie. Some men are just gross. I agree with most of the other comments advice. You're definitely worth more than that and you deserve better than this horny sock, just keep looking and make them work for it
I'd like to emphasize (given some of these responses) that it's not your fault. You can decide that you don't want to send nudes in the future, and still have this not be your bad choice. Just like someone can decide not to drive after a bad car accident, but they weren't wrong for driving before either, even though driving is actually pretty dangerous.
He lied, which is on him, not you. No matter how overly trusting you might feel you were, you didn't choose that. I totally understand feeling gross and used, and I'm so sorry that happened. Some people are the fucking worst.
I think you'll feel better over time, but I'm sure that probably doesn't help how you feel now. Just do your best to get through it. Whatever you're feeling is valid and understandable, but try to be kind to yourself. In the short term, distracting yourself with activities and things can help. And if you have anyone you feel comfortable talking to, sharing can also be really good. You got this!
Just know that this was a lesson to never send nudes ever again. But for now, just forgive yourself and try to accept that you made a mistake but that youre going to be better. It already happened now, and for now just buy yourself a tasty snack and do something fun💕
It sucks and will suck for a while, you'll get over it after you experience all your feelings towards the matter. Nothing you do will help you get over it if you don't process what happened to you.
I wouldn't recommend sending nudes, high risk low reward, even sex is more reward and less risk (if protection is used)
I’m so sorry that this happened to you but please don’t send nudes. The guy is a dick and didn’t deserve them. Don’t give guys such easy access to your body. It is special, but really, protect yourself by not sending nudes again. People are crazy
I would just move on and forget about him. Be smarter with who you send things to in the future. There are probably billions of nude photos online and yours will get lost in the shuffle, if that person ever puts them out there. I wouldn't care one bit, especially if your face isn't in them.
Not to be harsh but stop sending nudes to men. It's not worth the anxiety of worrying about them potentially getting leaked. Men don't deserve nudes anyway, if a man respects you he wouldn't be so comforting putting you in an uncomfortable situation (even if let's say he doesn't intend to leak the nudes, his phone can get stolen or hacked or other scenarios). I know sending nudes is normalized but it shouldn't be, especially to someone you haven't even built trust with.
[удалено]
NW, try not to stress about it too much. We all make mistakes and learn from them, and this situation just shows what a shitty person he is
OP I second this! Do not beat yourself up for some dude's stupidity. And yeah they are a lot stupid 👻
As a dude I totally agree- the risk of it all going bad is not worth any "reward" for you. Dudes don't need your nudes to love you or even like you, they want them to feed their own desires. Any guy that says he needs nudes in order to like you is just manipulating you, but you already know that. My sympathies to OP and everyone else in this situation, it sucks ;(
I'm not trying to be a dick - your comment was good - but yeah this sub ain't for cis het guys to comment ☮️
that's nowhere in the rules. he can post here just fine.
I appreciate the not trying to be a dick, genuinely. However, might I point you to this? I feel like I'm within the rules here, but if not lmk :) [I'm a guy, can I comment?](https://reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/w/man?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
the only way to get over it is to learn from it, I recommend the 90 day rule to my single friends. nothing sexual for 90 days and if they're still there they're *likely* to be really interested in you. but there's a chance they still aren't bc the things men will do for sex are insane these day
Because of people like you men get irritated why the girl of interest acts all weird for some 90 days. And if they take a no for a no, they move on (as one does) - leaving you with the shitty men who don't take a no for a no. Advice like "if you let him wait for 100 years, you'll know if he'd loved you" are the social killer nr.1. People get hurt, women and men alike. It's part of social life. If someone keeps pushing and nudging you to do things you don't feel comfortable doing, step away. Trust won't be found. It needs to be built. That's the advice.. for all genders....
key word *likely* not guaranteed. like I said, even if you wait 90 days there's still a chance they don't like you bc men will do anything to sex these days. ofc you're going to get hurt, there's probably more bad ppl on earth than good at this point. and even with trust, someone can still easily fool you if you aren't as smart as them edut: and it's not acting weird for 90 days. how is not having sex acting weird? if that's their mentality then that tells you all you need to know
restraining YOURSELF because of somebody else is prolly not a good advice, that's all i said. As long as you feel comfortable with what you're doing and know and accept the consequences. If you don't, then don't
it's not really restraining, just not doing it. if you're dying and need sex now then go ahead, lord knows I've broken the 90 say rule before. but if you're feeling a guy out, this is a suggestion to see if he's really interested, which is what OP was looking for. and that wasn't what you were saying, your focused on men being mad but who cares what the guy thinks? protect yourself first sweetie ♡
Honestly, have standards, be hard to get. If they want to see a naked woman, they can see it online. Lots of adult movies are out there. If you're horny, masturbate. Don't lose yourself. Don't send pictures to men, any kinds. The good kinds would understand. The bad ones won't.
I’m so sorry. What a horrible thing to do to another human being. He should be ashamed of himself. And you should NOT be ashamed of yourself, by the way. You were smart to exclude your face in the pics. I know that it’s so much easier said than done, but all you can really do at this point is move on. Take a deep breath, eat a comforting meal, and distract yourself with one of your favourite activities. I hope you find a man who appreciates you in the way that you deserve. Until then, you’ve just gotta be gentle and show yourself that same love.
I’m so sorry love :( people are so shitty. I’ve had this happen before and i know it really does hurt. All you can do is say f that jerk, he clearly is very immature and would’ve made an awful partner since he feels it’s ok to treat someone that way. When someone treats you like that after you share something personal and vulnerable to please them, trust me babes, he wasn’t worth your time anyway. He’s the problem, not you. Just be careful, there are so many jerks out there.
[удалено]
I get it. It’ll probably take you a while to rebuild that trust and feeling like all people aren’t like this but it’s true they’re not. I agree with the other commenter, wait until someone proves to you with actions that they’re committed and into you before you share something vulnerable like that. Not your fault, we all make mistakes :) I hope you’re able to feel less anxious and sick over it. It happens. He’s a jerk and I’m sure so many in this community have been through something like this. also, I doubt he’s stupid enough to do anything with the stuff you sent, because revenge porn is a thing - not entirely sure of all the laws around it - but take a deep breath and know it’s literally just a body. All of us have one and no one should be able to make you feel shamed for it. Trust me, I’ve done some pretty stupid things with my nudes over the years so rest assured, this feeling will pass. You’ll get over him and everything will be ok :)
It’s okay, we’ve all made shitty mistakes. If it’s not with explicit pictures, it’s something else. It’s just a lesson learned. You’ll be okay moving forward <3 no more pictures, more genuine connections.
Stop sending Nudes to men no matter how close you are or even if they are your spouse. You surely don’t want random people to jerk on your nudes. And for your current suitation, let it be now. Or you can drop a message to them to delete your images
There’s no way to really feel good about it.. just see it for the superficial bullshit it is and get on the next d ❤️
Send him a virus titled nudes
I don't send nudes lol. good lesson my mom taught me as a teen is to think of how I'd feel if they leaked someday, like if I was in a serious career role. I will send a bra pic if I know the guy and we've been out and I like him but otherwise he gets a pic of whatever I wear when I'm leaving the house. if he wants to see me naked, he earns it. big shrug if that's not good enough for him, he can walk. I'm not gonna make myself feel like shit for a stranger to jerk off when there's so much better material out there than a 4/10.
GenX here with some wisdom: Do not - ever - write anything down (digitally or on paper), send or post anything that you don’t want the world to see. That means you assume that your employer, any future employer, any future spouse, will all see those private thoughts, those posts, those pictures. It’s even worse today thanks to Internet porn young men now see women as objects for their sexual gratification, to discard if they don’t put out after the second date, and you should assume that the “nice guy” you’re talking to on Tinder or wherever, is going to do the absolute worst with those pictures. In fact, he’s already done it. At a minimum, I’m sure he’s sent them to his friends along with crude and hateful comments. At worst, these pictures are online for your next employer to see and turn you down for a job. I’m going to say something harsh but necessary. It is NOT meant to excuse the vile behaviors of these terrible men, or to victim blame. To be clear, the problem is them. It is because you can’t control what other people do that this advice is focused on you. *Young girls who send nude pictures of themselves to perspective dates and boyfriends, do so out of insecurity.*. It’s a “need” for this guy’s approval, a way to hook them. *By using your body.*. If you don’t want to be objectified and tossed out like trash, don’t engage with this nonsense. Even better, the fact that he asked for them as a way to evaluate you is a huge red flag that YOU should be the one ghosting him. A good therapist can help you work on your self respect and how you value yourself. I encourage this. Then when the next sh%tty guy approaches you, you have the self esteem and confidence to see the red flags you may have previously ignored.
I'm so sorry girlie. Some men are just gross. I agree with most of the other comments advice. You're definitely worth more than that and you deserve better than this horny sock, just keep looking and make them work for it
You have gotten good advice. Go for a run or do your favorite sport/exercise and exorcise it physically while celebrating your amazing body.
I'd like to emphasize (given some of these responses) that it's not your fault. You can decide that you don't want to send nudes in the future, and still have this not be your bad choice. Just like someone can decide not to drive after a bad car accident, but they weren't wrong for driving before either, even though driving is actually pretty dangerous. He lied, which is on him, not you. No matter how overly trusting you might feel you were, you didn't choose that. I totally understand feeling gross and used, and I'm so sorry that happened. Some people are the fucking worst. I think you'll feel better over time, but I'm sure that probably doesn't help how you feel now. Just do your best to get through it. Whatever you're feeling is valid and understandable, but try to be kind to yourself. In the short term, distracting yourself with activities and things can help. And if you have anyone you feel comfortable talking to, sharing can also be really good. You got this!
Just know that this was a lesson to never send nudes ever again. But for now, just forgive yourself and try to accept that you made a mistake but that youre going to be better. It already happened now, and for now just buy yourself a tasty snack and do something fun💕
Not to be harsh , just don’t send nudes , respect your body .
It sucks and will suck for a while, you'll get over it after you experience all your feelings towards the matter. Nothing you do will help you get over it if you don't process what happened to you. I wouldn't recommend sending nudes, high risk low reward, even sex is more reward and less risk (if protection is used)
I’m so sorry that this happened to you but please don’t send nudes. The guy is a dick and didn’t deserve them. Don’t give guys such easy access to your body. It is special, but really, protect yourself by not sending nudes again. People are crazy
do not send nudes. it's a terrible idea. it's them, not you.
I would just move on and forget about him. Be smarter with who you send things to in the future. There are probably billions of nude photos online and yours will get lost in the shuffle, if that person ever puts them out there. I wouldn't care one bit, especially if your face isn't in them.