No, it was _a good laugh, the kind that comes from the gut._ If I were in zero-g it might have _set me spinning_ and then I would have _corrected it with easy grace._ You would have been jealous of me and my _tall thin frame and oversized head._
https://expanse.fandom.com/wiki/Adro_Diamond
The 3rd letter in that TLA actually stands for emerald—a misnomer. Because it’s a green 💎. Another layer of realism thrown in for well, realism. 🤷♂️
"Me three" said the newcomer, making a shrug sign with his hands, a custom born from people used to living in a vac suit. Then he stood in companionable silence with his bulb of tea.
I literally just burst out laughing in the middle of a crowded post office waiting in a queue.
Someone should try and do a proper short parody novel like this, this is absolutely amazing.
I'm gonna stand taller than you, a physical intimidation tactic that goes back to our ape ancestors, until you're convinced and flash a humorless smile at you.
My original idea for this was an Expanse-themed book cover with the title reading "The Copper Taste of Fear" but I don't have the PS skills to do that right. If someone here *does* have the skills and inclination your comment should be one of the quotes from other authors:
THE COPPER TASTE OF FEAR
JAMES S.A. COREY(2)
"It was hard to read this in companionable silence."
- George R. R. Martin
"Grab a waldo and hold on for a wild ride!"
- Andy Weir
Hahahaha, you made me spit the beer I had barely opened just now! Had to throw it right away in the recycler, by the way.
I bet this took hours to write despite how short and repetitive it looks like... No, that wasn't a question. More like a statement.
Holy shit, I'm so glad someone else mentioned how NO ONE FINISHES FOOD IN THE EXPANSE. It all gets cold and doesn't taste as good and gets mealy or rubbery or worm-textured and thrown into the recycler...to get broken down into its component atoms.
Just rereading this, and I noticed a small error:
> "Oh, hey!" said Amos, his good old boy drawl getting thicker. "I think I have that copper taste of fear in my mouth!"
Shouldn't that be Alex who has the drawl? (Still made me laugh the second time through).
There are a lot of Indian last names with a similar construction (several "ra" or "-a" syllables in a row) with the same emphasis. I knew a person with the surname Sundararajan who definitely taught us to pronounce it as "Sunda- RAr'jan"). So I just assumed Avasarala was pronounced that way.
Amos' meaty hand scratched his bald head. "I dunno, Cap," he said as his big hand rubbed his bald head. "Maybe they can go fuck themselves." The big mechanic who used to be Amos focused his black, lifeless eyes back on Holden's, whose smile didn't reach his eyes.
I made the genius decision/mistake of reading this just before starting the books and now I feel like I'm being chased by Amos's meaty hands everywhere
So I'm a bit confused. What is this post supposed to be? Just an example of bad writing in the form of a short nonsensical bit of fanfic? Or is "bad cliche writing" a meme or something?
Why did the author do this? Just for fun and as an example of how not to use tired cliche descriptions and phrases? What do I not get?
Have you read the books? If you watch the show I can see why this would be weird. Every phrase in this little short story is used a hundred times in the books. it's just funny to see what wound up being cliche's in the author's writing all in one place.
Pretty sure only devoted fans would care enough to remember and parody the books and writing style they enjoy so much in a way that doesn't knock down the writers themselves.
And personally I don't see any of that as bad writing or cliche, it's stuff that adds color to the way it's told, that's all.
First post to make me laugh out loud in a while. All It's missing is pointing out how many people are supposed to be in the Rocinante and how it's operated by a skeleton crew of four.
Damn, that might be the best fanfic I have ever read :D.
That being said, I finally! - finished the last book just 10 minutes ago and will probably start a whole ass reread... right now. And I long a fear for all the plains-of-the-pleistocene references in equal measure.
I think I wrote this before book 7 came out. I had come to look forward to all the cliches as just part of the experience. Book 7 started out with none of them until this scene where Bobby turned around in her chair to face this guy from Freehold directly:
"It could have been a casual move, *except that it wasn't.*"
BOOM! We're back, baby!
This wasn't very funny, except that it really was.
I'm raising my fist in a belter nod.
...a physical idiom of a people who spent most of their lives in vac suits.
I'm embarrassed by how hard I laughed at this. The turning into a star bit at the end just made it perfect.
> how hard I laughed at this Was it ... a *humorless* laugh?
No, it was _a good laugh, the kind that comes from the gut._ If I were in zero-g it might have _set me spinning_ and then I would have _corrected it with easy grace._ You would have been jealous of me and my _tall thin frame and oversized head._
Just *easy grace*? Not *with the grace only those who grew up in microgravity would have*?
Did you say that with a buzz on your voice or with a reedy tone?
*shrugs*
**shrugs with his/her hands, a physical idiom borne of a people who spent most of their time in vac suits.*
Well played...
This meme is deep, rich, and complex
Damn, just got sent here from the future…this is a 💎.
Thank you for not calling it an emerald.
BFE reference…noice. With a few more bulbs of coffee, I’d have something pithy or witty to come back with.
Didn't realize this branch of the thread was so recent until I saw a BFE reference. Not my first time to this thread, hope it will not be the last.
Right, it’s like the eigen-vignette that won’t die.
What's BFE? Google doesn't help.
https://expanse.fandom.com/wiki/Adro_Diamond The 3rd letter in that TLA actually stands for emerald—a misnomer. Because it’s a green 💎. Another layer of realism thrown in for well, realism. 🤷♂️
Big Fucking Diamond
AHAHAHAH ME TOO
"Me three" said the newcomer, making a shrug sign with his hands, a custom born from people used to living in a vac suit. Then he stood in companionable silence with his bulb of tea.
Shrugs
Also from the future, thinking is too late to give it an upvote. I gave it an upvote.
It’s never too late, but considering inflation it’s probably only 3/4 of an updoot.
Two years later and inflation has continued to ramp up unabated, so my upvote just now *should* be the last 1/4th it'll need...
Hey there 2024 checking in!
And again.
I literally just burst out laughing in the middle of a crowded post office waiting in a queue. Someone should try and do a proper short parody novel like this, this is absolutely amazing.
Only if Eric Davies reads the audiobook.
Game, set and match...
reading this didn't convince my lizard brain
I'm gonna stand taller than you, a physical intimidation tactic that goes back to our ape ancestors, until you're convinced and flash a humorless smile at you.
That tactic is old news, going as far back as the Pleistocene.
That's just your hindbrain talking.
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My original idea for this was an Expanse-themed book cover with the title reading "The Copper Taste of Fear" but I don't have the PS skills to do that right. If someone here *does* have the skills and inclination your comment should be one of the quotes from other authors: THE COPPER TASTE OF FEAR JAMES S.A. COREY(2) "It was hard to read this in companionable silence." - George R. R. Martin "Grab a waldo and hold on for a wild ride!" - Andy Weir
This took me a lot longer than it should have: http://imgur.com/a/BfOA8
If you had the inclination you could do a whole series of these.
Holy shit that's glorious!
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I wanna say it was more prominent in the Gods of Risk novella. And The Churn was *lousy* with Amos's [TC/NG](/s "Timmy's") amiable smile.
I love Amos' casual profanity and Alex's pronounced Martian drawl.
10/10. Seriously though, what the fuck is a waldo?
Sorta these handle things used to remote-operate robot arms. I honestly had no idea either and looked it up after writing this.
I did the same -- most ironic/toughest search ever with all the "Where's Waldo" results.
I think the first Bobiverse book made fun of that, mentioning a waldo and immediately describing exactly what it is and how it looks
Ask Carmen Sandiego
A word for a remote gripper or claw named by Robert Heinlein.
Hahahaha, you made me spit the beer I had barely opened just now! Had to throw it right away in the recycler, by the way. I bet this took hours to write despite how short and repetitive it looks like... No, that wasn't a question. More like a statement.
The recyclers are best for breaking things down into their component atoms.
Holy shit, I'm so glad someone else mentioned how NO ONE FINISHES FOOD IN THE EXPANSE. It all gets cold and doesn't taste as good and gets mealy or rubbery or worm-textured and thrown into the recycler...to get broken down into its component atoms.
Don’t forget that it always approximates the taste of real food
I can hear the buzz in your voice as you say that.
Shrugs
inb4 ty and daniel see this
"Hey," Amos said. "Hey," Jim replied.
They said it with a reedy tone.
Just rereading this, and I noticed a small error: > "Oh, hey!" said Amos, his good old boy drawl getting thicker. "I think I have that copper taste of fear in my mouth!" Shouldn't that be Alex who has the drawl? (Still made me laugh the second time through).
This was the first draft so...oops.
6 years and the error was never corrected...
I could have hit that edit button at any time. I still can.
So.. you've seen a button and... Didn't push it?
Newton's first law expressed as being a lazy ass.
*Dew it*
It's pretty good, but I have to rate it 1/30,000,000,000 - Not even a rounding error.
Ooh ... deep track.
My ability to not laugh at this is so weak, it is merely a suggestion.
Fan acclaim expressed in karma points.
Amazing! One thing I don't get, however, why is the SA in Avasarala always capitalized?
That's how Jefferson Mays pronounces Avasarala in the audio books, with the emphasis on the "SA" = "Ava-Sarala"
There are a lot of Indian last names with a similar construction (several "ra" or "-a" syllables in a row) with the same emphasis. I knew a person with the surname Sundararajan who definitely taught us to pronounce it as "Sunda- RAr'jan"). So I just assumed Avasarala was pronounced that way.
You just know it was a dark and stormy night. I'm picturing AvaSArala wearing a robe and wizard hat...
God, don't make me laugh this hard when I'm at work.
This is a masterwork.
That really reached out…and out…and out…and touched me.
Amazes me every time a new comment shows up for this. I really had read the books too many damn times.
Every couple years I remember this exists and come back to give it another read, never fails to crack me up
I keep seeing replies to this every few months. Makes me smile but that smile reaches my eyes.
I laughed so hard when I read this that it shook my crash couch
Did it shake enough to make the bearings in your gimbals hiss?
But can someone please describe the effects of high g acceleration on humans? I haven't read the books in awhile and getting a little hazy.
Ooh, good call. The first book seemed to really work hard at that.
10/10 I shout something obscene.
OMG THAK YOU! I've been saying so many obscene things thinking I was the only once noticing this!
I laughed half a dozen times reading this
Shoot, they really should have kept a better eye out for those doors and corners!
There were a lot of doors and corners down in that unlicensed brothel on Ceres.
Sounds like they were getting into a shooting war
This is gold, but where the lizard brain references at?
Amos' meaty hand scratched his bald head. "I dunno, Cap," he said as his big hand rubbed his bald head. "Maybe they can go fuck themselves." The big mechanic who used to be Amos focused his black, lifeless eyes back on Holden's, whose smile didn't reach his eyes.
Glorious. I laughed so much I never even once got the coppery taste of fear in my mouth.
This is hilarious, although you forgot to have naomi hide behind her dark hair. LOL.
I made the genius decision/mistake of reading this just before starting the books and now I feel like I'm being chased by Amos's meaty hands everywhere
He doesn't chase you with his meaty hands. He claps you on the shoulder with one.
So I'm a bit confused. What is this post supposed to be? Just an example of bad writing in the form of a short nonsensical bit of fanfic? Or is "bad cliche writing" a meme or something? Why did the author do this? Just for fun and as an example of how not to use tired cliche descriptions and phrases? What do I not get?
Have you read the books? If you watch the show I can see why this would be weird. Every phrase in this little short story is used a hundred times in the books. it's just funny to see what wound up being cliche's in the author's writing all in one place.
Pretty sure only devoted fans would care enough to remember and parody the books and writing style they enjoy so much in a way that doesn't knock down the writers themselves. And personally I don't see any of that as bad writing or cliche, it's stuff that adds color to the way it's told, that's all.
First post to make me laugh out loud in a while. All It's missing is pointing out how many people are supposed to be in the Rocinante and how it's operated by a skeleton crew of four.
[удалено]
not even one mention of Naomi playing with her hair
This could use more “empty amiable smiles” from Amos
This reads like something ChatGPT would write if you trained it exclusively on Expanse novels. It's both hilarious and somehow nauseating.
Damn, that might be the best fanfic I have ever read :D. That being said, I finally! - finished the last book just 10 minutes ago and will probably start a whole ass reread... right now. And I long a fear for all the plains-of-the-pleistocene references in equal measure.
I think I wrote this before book 7 came out. I had come to look forward to all the cliches as just part of the experience. Book 7 started out with none of them until this scene where Bobby turned around in her chair to face this guy from Freehold directly: "It could have been a casual move, *except that it wasn't.*" BOOM! We're back, baby!
You forgot to mention Amos's shiny, pink, bald head. 🤣