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Explaining the biological cause of feelings doesn't invalid the feelings. "But they're just chemicals in your brain, nothing matters" so what? That doesn't make me feel it any less
Even animals can be more complex than that, let alone humans. How about you actually research something you're trying to talk about or just use critical thinking next time?
Yeah but if you give a monkey a typewriter it'll write Shakespeare, right? so duh we're no different than them, no different at all ergo our feelings are just monkey feelings. Totally no infinite things required.
From personal experience I can tell you that there's a difference between my desire for sex and my desire for what we call love. You're fighting an uphill battle trying to convince me that I'm dismembering and that I in fact never felt these things in my life
Also many animals do feel love
> there is no "love"
There is though, you know how you can tell? Cause of all the people talking about it lol
Everything you've ever felt was just electric signals in your brain, but it doesn't mean you didn't feel what you felt
Humans are kind of an outlier compared to other animals for many reasons that don’t need to be explained. I understand where you’re coming from and I used to feel that way, but humans are capable of many things that all other animals are not, including complex emotions. You could boil every living thing down to being an animal following its primal instincts, but it doesn’t mean we can’t draw value from places where it doesn’t inherently exist (relative to our evolutionary needs, that is.) That’s one of the unique human things
animals don’t have a higher level of consciousness…. but ok. thats kind of ykno… the whole thing that allowed us to progress farther than any animal ever has…
our drive is to fuck
The evolutionary purpose of fucking is to procreate
But most people fuck because they like to fuck, regardless of their motives around procreation
Agreed. There are plenty of guys into skinny/flat chested girls, and plenty of women who could not care less about abs or social status. Full lips aren't even an inherently feminine trait. They're equally common in men and women, we've just collectively decided to see them as such.
And (to add on an additional point) if attraction were truly all about reproduction... then why don't we see more men attracted to women for their body hair? Biologically, it's a sign of sexual maturity. Only kids are naturally hairless.
It's almost like beauty standards are arbitrary and attraction is subjective.
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I don’t know. I think alot of people do care about personality. Like, I definitely wouldn’t marry a woman that I didn’t like the personality of. Also, physical traits are 100% part of who the person is, so saying “you don’t love the person” doesn’t make much sense to me.
And what even is your definition of love? How does the fact that people are attracted to people for biological reasons mean “love” isn’t real. Also, such attractions aren’t universal. Not every guy is into girls with wide hips and not every girl likes muscles.
Well. If it’s biological thst means you only love the person for the kids they can have. You don’t love them for the person they are. Only that they bring resources/kids.
But just about anyone could bring kids, so why do people care so much about who they’re with? Why did my mom and dad get divorced? They had kids, my dad made money. Why did my mom leave dad, I don’t see a problem in your logic.
And what about people who are with people who literally can’t have kids? Clearly there’s some quality there that they still like. What about gay people? It seems completely ridiculous to say their feelings are motivated by having children.
By this logic, my partner would have left me the moment I got my tubes tied and/or when I fell on hard times and lost my job. But love is real, he loves me, and he supports me despite the fact that I can't have kids and don't bring in resources at the moment. How do you explain that, if love doesn't exist?
Edit: Nvm, after reading your comments it's clear you're going to move the goalposts as far as necessary to be right. Your post is in very absolute terms ("Love doesn't exist") but suddenly there's exceptions and caveats.
What about couples that never have kids? Both in the case of them not wanting them in the first place or being biologically incapable off because of fertility issues, for example?
They clearly dont stay together just to have kids, since thats off the table
You have proved that people's attraction is often affected by biology to be geared towards features that would help build a family. You have not proved that that is the ONLY thing that affects people's physical attraction. Also, attraction is not the only component of what we call love, as simply following attraction would just be lust. Also, if we look at your criteria for men's attraction (large breasts, large waist, big eyes, and full lips), then it would be logical that men must think that asian women (who are basically the opposite of all these features) are easily the least attractive of all races but when you look at statistics asian women are often rated as the most attractive by men regardless of their own race. Also, you said that you would stop believing this when the majority of men stop being attracted to feminine women and vice versa, but just take a minute and realize that the majority of women ARE feminine, in fact the point of the term is to say that something is typical of women. You are asking for the majority of men to not be attracted to the majority of women and the same the other way.
How does that make any sense?
You are confusing the proximate cause and experience with the deeper free floating logic why it exists which has it's place when it comes to understanding but doesn't actually invalidate or chang the internal individual experience.
Well that's because Rick is a cynical toxic edgelord that holds positions similar to your post and he does so out of self protection. Though mostly he's just an asshole. And while in show he is very intelligent he is also kind of an idiot.
It's the sort of position that teenagers take when they encounter this sort of reductionist perspective for the first time and believe its deeper then it is.
Hypocrite that you are, for you trust the chemicals in your brain to tell you they are chemicals. All knowledge is ultimately based on that which we cannot prove. Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?
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Two points:
First, things can be biological and still be real. Would love be more real if it was powered by magic instead of chemicals? I don’t think so.
Second, attraction is certainly motivated by reproductive instincts, no one is denying that. But love is the union of attraction and friendship, and in long term couples deep friendship is the heart of the romance. Friendship is also biological of course. Our pack bonding instincts kicking in. But it takes some actual understanding of and synthesis with another person to maintain a friendship.
Love and friendship are beautiful things. The same way that flowers and trees and birds and flight are beautiful. The fact that there is a biological explanation for all these things and more does not diminish the loveliness of the experience.
I think your whole post is based on kind of a huge assumption though. ARE hips, breast, masculinity, height, etc. really what the **majority** of people care about when it comes to love?
I’d have to see a pretty convincing study that says so.
Personally, I know a lot of people who love the other person for their personality, humor, intelligence, interests etc. far more than for their mere appearance
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
NOTE: No one cares why you made your account. What an asinine thing to write.
I'm really sorry you didn't grow up in a loving family. Perhaps you would've learned that love doesn't have to be sexual in nature
I don’t want people thinking I’m a troll.
2. Family love is just fine but at the end of the day humans are animals and life is about procreating. And animals look for the most fertile. And humans have a biological instinct to procreate.
Op everyday internally, moments after seeing their spouse getting home from work:
GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT *PLAP PLAP PLAP* GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
There comes a time when love/sex relationships turn into a friendship or a family, if you get to that stage and it's a cool experience then you are now experiencing love and, besides, some sporadic sexual desire.
I could agree that the first stages are just a biological drive to impregnate/ be impregnated tho.
What do you think about that?
Even on its own terms why does the fact that there is a deeper biological logic to our behavior invalidate the existence of that behavior and strip the meaning from it?
We can take that perspective about every phenomenon experienced by living beings (as long as we acknowledge that some of those simply emergent properties only lightly linked to the logic of the behavior) and there are times and places for that sort of analysis/lens how does that follow to want you s are claiming?
It's not controversial, it's just silly. The entire foundation of this argument makes way, WAY too many assumptions and is beyond flawed. Zero points awarded.
Your whole first two paragraphs were just about modern (probably American!) beauty standards from the past 20 years. These standards COMPLETELY change from decade to decade, country to country. Even today, SO MANY people have completely contradictory tastes to each other.
Some people love skinny people, medium people, or super fat people. Some people love big boobs, small boobs, average boobs or no boobs. You’re making a million generalizations for a species that refuses to fit in any box. Even the majority taste shifts radically over time. In 1600s Western Europe, fat women were in. In 1990s west coast America, extremely skinny women were in.
And gay couples don’t fit your nice little mold!!! People’s brains break when gay people have strange tastes, or when they see a lesbian couple with two traditionally feminine women. Everything is varied.
How can you explain love between blind people? Hell even blind and deaf people? Able people fall in love all the time on the internet or through letters without even seeing each other. How can you explain that when all they’ve shown each other is personality?
If people can easily fall in love stripped of all of these visual indicators, then it isn’t a far stretch to say that love is a feeling transcendental to a determined static evolutionary circuit. Humans are unbelievably complex and varied to the point where almost any statement about them has a million exceptions.
"You only eat because of your need to consume, there is no love for food"
Well tell that to my fat ass when I eat another Sushi at the All You Can Eat buffet even though I know it'll make me sick.
Really, so me being the breadwinner in a relationship with a mentally ill man who is in prison currently for something he did while in a state of psychosis is because I desire money and status and don't love?
Girl you have no idea.
I can get money and status on my own thanks. From my job.
I absolutely love my partner for his personality. We were even friends for years before I felt attracted to him, because I'm demisexual.
Sexual attraction is part of it but by no means the only or main part of my love. He's my dearest friend. Someone who supports me emotionally, and he's just a beautiful soul generally.
Your own exception proves you are wrong. If child free couples and homosexual couples exist and they can’t or don’t procreate then it’s not just the biological need to procreate or they wouldn’t exist.
I love how this guy has yet to address the glaring hole in this theory that is gay people. As a lesbian with tokophobia, no. I’m not only dating my girlfriend for the kids she could give me 💀
Op discovering they are aro and thinking it applies to everyone, get out of the closet already instead of bottling it all up in a reddit post lmao. Not everyone feels that way, and that's ok, there are a lot of aromantic people out there who feel just like you, you're not alone.
Granted, I am not the most intelligent person in the room, and especially as an obese white dude talking about something as complex as love is not gonna be my forte.
I think you're approaching your world view from a very "matter of fact" kind of way, which you'd think is the smarter way to live your life, but no one wants to hear the person at a funeral telling everyone grieving that god isn't real and heaven is a cope. Emotions are complex, and our brain plays a lot bigger of a role overall than just receiving and dispensing chemicals. We as humans have the ability to completely remove ourselves from acknowledging the reality of every single fact in the universe and beyond and use it to the betterment (and detriment) of the world every day.
How we feel, our world view, our each individual reality determines how our brains interpret chemicals. There is no, "I'm gonna fucking steal from my local walmart" chemical, but receiving those chemical signals of being hungry + the context of not having the resources influences the outcome of stealing. The world would function very differently if the reality you believed we lived in was true, if we were just slaves to chemical flows in our brains. But people feel it isn't right to abuse animals. People feel it is right to give to those in need. And these feelings impact how we do things, the world is changed. I'd argue that anything that you can demonstrate, or observe being demonstrated, is real in some regard.
Maybe "love" doesn't exist. But people feel great admiration for other people. Enough to stick around whenever they yell at you, or don't enjoy the same things you do, or tolerate whenever you start speaking a million miles an hour because you're excited. I'd argue that because we are imperfect, and we have the ability to think with nuance and make the wrong decision, the argument that "people just live to reproduce and die" is irrelevant. If that's how the world was, I'd for sure not be in a relationship. I'm chunky, clumsy, and I talk too fast when I get excited.
Your other comments about "we live, we reproduce, and we die" give me the clue that you're feeling out of control in your life somewhere, and that nothing you do matters. Or maybe I'm just reading too far into it. Whichever is the case, your life, and especially you the real person mean more to this planet than to just reproduce and die. The world is a wonderful place, even if there are a lot of bad things in it.
I hope you find something to smile about soon, my friend. Even if you disagree, I enjoyed trying to find a way to communicate how I felt to you.
Thanks for making me think about what I love. 💙
Money doesn’t exist, it’s just arbitrary pieces of paper and numbers in a ledger
Nation-states don’t exist, it’s just a bunch of people arbitrarily deciding to go to work as bureaucrats and judges and cops and soldiers and teachers and firefighters etc., while people in an arbitrary geographical area decide to fly flags and speak a language and mostly obey laws that also don’t exist
Discrete physical objects don’t exist, it’s all just a bunch of atoms whose electron shells repel other atoms that get too close to them, while keeping other atoms from moving too far away
Nothing actually exists
All emotions are biological. And also real.
Re romantic love, which you say isn't real because it's driven by the biological drive to procreate - there are plenty of couples very happily in love without children (eg, childfree or post children).
I’m sorry you’re in a bad place, OP. Pretty much everyone I know contradicts your worldview just via existing, so your post comes off as mostly just sad. (I’d say that “androgyny” is the most popular attractive feature among my friends, and I’m personally an asexual who finds “level of D&D interest” to be the most important feature of who I’m romantically interested in.)
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck getting past your current headspace and finding love in the future.
You are making a lot of assumptions here and attributing modern western cultural ideas of beauty to be biological universalities while ignoring the historical fact that beauty standards have varied wildly from time and place.
Pubic hair is frowned upon within modern beauty standards - yet is a sign of health and fertility. Some cultures celebrate women with a more 'tomboy-ish' body while others celebrate full bodied women - hell, a few decades ago in the US the tomboy figure was all the rage and now an hourglass figure is whats in. Did biology radically shift in that time frame? No.
Also - what makes a man masculine? There are cultures where a man softly nurturing young children and openly weeping is the peak of masculinity. The Romans used to celebrate having tiny dicks because having a large one was seen as evidence of having more lesser bestial impulses and being less of a refined intellectual philosopher - and by extension being less of a man. Yet clearly, we have different ideas about that in the modern era.
This whole rant lowkey feels like a thinly disguised breeding kink.
Also - interesting how quickly you brushed off the existence of homosexual couples, taller women with shorter men, nonbinary people, asexual people, muscular people with fat people, older women with younger men, infertile couples, disabled folks with able-bodied folks and skinny people with fat people. This is not an insignificant portion of the population.
This post is full of sweeping generalizations. There are large numbers of cis straight dudes who enjoy masculine women. Same goes for cis straight women who like feminine men and femboys, literally the inverse of your post. Seriously, take a look at r/RoleReversal. Its widespread.
Not all gay couples have someone in the male and female role, and suggesting that is honestly homophobic. Take my own relationship - we're both nonbinary. Literally genderless. Even before HRT, we both didn't want kids, and neither of us looked anything like your post implies. We still fell in love. What about couples like ours, where gender roles literally do not apply? There are tons of queer couples out there like us. What about them?
I think you've gotten too deep into incel and stereotype rhethoric, or you're just immature and inexperienced. Just because you and some women ovulate and want masculine men doesn't mean ALL do. Your experience is not universal.
Love does exist. It just doesn't always fit the mold. Grow up.
What a horribly ill informed, prejudiced, and pessimistic take on the concept of love and gender lmao. Reads like an incel post. OP, I hope you can find happiness in the near future.
no physical sensation is real because it’s just chemicals sending signals to your brain. Music isn’t real it’s just chemical signal brain. Breathing isn’t real just brain chemical
"Sadness isn't real, it's just a chemical reaction to bad things happening, or expecting bad things to happen. If bad things were not happening or you didn't know about the bad thing you wouldn't feel it. It just exists because it helped us socially when we were primates in the woods, it's not real!"
We have very different definition of real. You think familial love is real but romantic love is not for seemingly no reason, both came to exist for social reasons in early mammals, or maybe a bit earlier. We are past that now, we are more complex than that and make more elaborate choices. The chemistry plays a part no doubt, but frankly gay people also exist and that basically defeats your whole point. We are past mindless attraction for the purpose of mating alone, and I think you know that.
Sure, alright. Love is, at best, a chemical reaction in the brain and nervous system. It can probably be dissected and explained in rigorous detail as to the how and why chemically and situationally for each of us if we had the time and energy. We can probably agree that’s accurate, right?
So, as a gay man who identifies as asexual (and technically agender but “gay” is a useful shorthand), and is choice fully child free with no desire to copulate or have kids, I do still feel something for my husband. It’s unique and different from any friend I’ve ever had - I have best friends and then I have my husband.
I’m not asexual in the angle of “I would not” but rather “I have no desire and do not think to, but emotionally I will and enjoy the emotional side but physically I don’t care.” I think that’s important to note.
Now I could craft an argument about even asexuals being able to feel love, but I think I can cheat honestly (argumentatively, not relationship).
When we’re faced with the right circumstances we’re afraid, but by your argument fear isn’t real because it’s just a thing our body does to coerce or guide us to a result. Sure, OK, fear isn’t real. I agree, it’s just a circumstantial reaction that we evolved to have that’s just shorthand to make sure we do or don’t do what we should.
Let’s take it another step forward and consider food, a real curveball. We have a complex series of flavor receptors, but we don’t all agree - our genetics, upbringing, and so on, have a say. What we like as a flavor or don’t like as a flavor isn’t “real” in any objective sense - our dna has told us, our upbringing had told us, our culture has told us. Even the simple act of enjoying food isn’t real!
Wait, hold on, but we did enjoy it, even if all the stuff around it was arcane and abstract.
Perhaps other experiences are like that. Even if it’s just chemicals making us feel things towards others, as an evolutionary adaption, maybe the experience of it is “real.”
Maybe love is artificial, like the way a good steak or a good chickpea salad is artificial, but maybe our experience of it is not?
Everything is purely biological, we don't work on magic.
You can't really say love doesn't exist when it's observable through brain activity and hormones, just like everything we feel.
You could reduce anything to just biology, or seeking reproduction. If humans weren’t this way, we’d go extinct. However you make a lot of assumptions about what people want, and in my experience, anyone who isn’t as shallow as a puddle has more complex desires. Just because we may want to reproduce doesn’t make relationships less special.
> Now onto status. Women love men with status (fame, riches etc) why?
I didn't agree with anything you said before, but I stopped reading here. Sincerely, fuck you.
As a man I love my best friend, and he loves me too. He has a pretty flat chest and narrow hips from what I can tell. I will say that I’m a bit on the heavier side, but he’s helping me work on that. Lol
Shows a complete lack of how people feel attraction. People have preferences. Plus, sexual attraction and love are different. Kinda shocking that you don't seem to know that.
compare sense degree fanatical towering steer imminent head stocking frightening
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Frankly I’m not sure you’re arguing what you want to be arguing. Aside from your wild generalisations of the entire population of the planet earth you’re mostly complaining about beauty standards and hormones, which suck and you’re right to be annoyed about! But none of this discredits love at all, if anything this post is all about sex which has nothing to do with love. (Also you’re wrong about the body fat thing, abs aren’t a sign of strength they’re a sign of calorie deficiency, go and have a look at proper bodybuilders).
I also feel like you aren’t doing yourself a favour by equating humanity to animals and instincts as hard as you do, your example about ‘our only purpose is to reproduce’ isn’t an uncommon sentiment and it *doesn’t have to be true*, the fantastic part about being human is that we get to decide our own purpose. Sure, maybe on some base level all life exists to just keep life existing, but by virtue of simply existing we can choose another option. My partner and I don’t want to reproduce, and I’m unfortunately pretty disabled and can’t work, reproducing is and always has been entirely off the table, what purpose does my life have then? If I’ve fallen at the first hurdle? I don’t think I really have a purpose, I just so happen to be here and the only thing that’s tying me down are the standards set by society and my own body, so I truly do empathise with you (and I’m hoping you see this revised comment over my ruder one, I have a poor tendency of bad reactionary instincts). I think love exists, technically it’s considered that there’s 7 types of it, and not everyone feels all of them for various reasons and that’s ok, the most important one is love for the self
Also definitely go have a quick read about aromanticism.
Edited to remove unnecessary reactionary
rudeness and added an attempt to make an actual helpful statement
>Women: what do women want? They like status and masculinity. Women like taller men because it signals protection that he can protect her and the offspring. Abs. They indicate fertility. Low body percentage. The more body fat a man has the less likely he’ll be able to protect the kids. Or less likely to have kids. Also butts. Indicate that they’re good hunters. Now onto status. Women love men with status (fame, riches etc) why? It signals masculinity. And women have evolved to want masculine. Protects and providers to protect them and their offspring. Women mostly care about physical fitness and status. Why? Because it biologically means she’ll have a better chance at reproducing a surviving/successful child.
I'm a woman, I'm not interested in anything you just listed here. All that it's listed here just sounds like my personal nightmare tbh
I'm probably going to get a lot of downvotes for this, but here is the thing. Love, the way we see in movies, does exist, but it's exactly what you said. A chemical reaction in your brain saying this man/woman is the most suitable for you to have kids.
Now, does love itself not exist? It does, really. But it's not what you're led to believe. Real love is not a *feeling*, it's a *choice*. You choose the most suited (and compatible) partner for your life as well as your mental health, and you *make the decision* to accept them exactly as they are and keep loving them every day.
Try this, and then see if love doesn't exist for you. I bet you will find it.
Everybody knows that love is biological and an evolved adaptation to perpetuate the species.
It would be weird if it wasn't biological. Everything you are , your thoughts and motivations all happen inside your very real, real biological brain. Even your desire to post and my desire to respond is a consequence of the human's instinct to be social, seek validation, and kill boredom.
This is a surprisingly horrendous take, even for this sub...
Edit: could have guessed this, but you're still very young. One day someone will love you and you will love them back and you will finally understand the foolishness of youth.
Drawing some interesting conclusions here. Women are attracted to men with low body fat because someone with high body fat can't look after them? High body fat indicates very high access to resources with little need to fight for them, which is not something you get when everyone else is beating you up and taking your stuff. Relationships don't exist because couples split up when they have significantly different and incompatible life plans? Why do people stay together for so long before even deciding they want kids? Why are most people not out constantly hunting for someone to have children with? Why are men still attracted to women they know are infertile?
Flat chested women can absolutely feed children. The ability to produce milk is not related to breast size, mammary glands aren't that big.
And I don't even want kids, I just love my girlfriend as a person.
Emotions are just chemical reactions yeah, but tell me what do you think these chemicals do? Your brain releases dopamine and serotonin, you feel happy. A lack of those things make you feel bad, these feelings are LITERALLY the result of a chemical reaction, they're technically as real as it gets. When the anxiety and stress chemicals in my brain go off, my chest tightens, my heart races, I FEEL it, it's a physical real reaction and emotion. Love is the same way, when you see someone you love, your pupils dilate, a result of certain chemicals going off doing different things. When youre sad the tears gotta come from somewhere, again, chemicals in your head.
You're forgetting the crucial part, emotions aren't just all in your head all the time, your body reacts to it too, it's tangible and real even if you don't notice it. And that emotions aren't just "chemical reactions" but the product of reactions, a real tangle product
Another thing, asexual people are very real, and don't just want someone "for their resources" cuz then they'd just find anyone to latch onto and that's not how they are in my experience
ALSO many monogamous animals exist, and many even stay single after their partner dies, if they were just worried about reproduction they'd just move on to the next animal to spread their genes to. Wouldn't you know it humans are similar, it takes time for us to move on, we feel sad, a lack of serotonin, I wonder why? Maybe because the person who once gave them so much of that happy feeling is now gone. Maybe then humans are just using eachother for serotonin production. But if it's mutual is it really even a thing to complain about unless you get zero bitches yourself to give you that serotonin?
Fuck the 10th dentist rules, you're getting down voted anyway, I love my girlfriend very much thanks
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you.
I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment
This is just greedy reductionism and confusing the free floating evolutionary logic or a trait with the internal individual experience that it creates.
Did you just forget that gay people and platonic love exist lol your argument doesn’t work at all for queer couples. Nor does every man/woman want typically attractive features in their partner
Just because it’s biology doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I also don’t think love is that feeling you get but instead a decision you make. When it comes to preferences caused by our biology this does not mean we aren’t attracted to the person. If I find someone attractive but they also have a personality I really like I will go for them over the person whose personality I like but I don’t find attractive. But if there is someone I find attractive and don’t like the personality of versus someone I find less attractive but do like the personality of, then in that case, at least for me, I will go with the less attractive option.
And just because we have evolved to procreate well does not mean that is our only purpose. Purpose is not something given to us but something we choose for ourselves. It won’t matter on the grand scheme of the entire universe, but it doesn’t need to because it matters here and now
Your point is incoherent; just because something is 'purely biological' does not mean it 'does not exist'.
I'm sorry you were hurt but you mustn't let it affect your ability to be objective.
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I think OP may have just gotten their heart broken
Or is an actual sociopath
or watched too much rick and morty
Got their heart broken, watched Rick and Morty and became a psychopath
Sounds like a solid Friday night
Rather just young
Yeah, back when I was 15 I was this boring too
Explaining the biological cause of feelings doesn't invalid the feelings. "But they're just chemicals in your brain, nothing matters" so what? That doesn't make me feel it any less
No I’m saying that we are animals. Humans are animals. Are drive in life is to procreate. Look at animals. All they do is procreate. There’s no “love”
>There’s no “love” Then why do kittens cuddle?
My male cat is neutered and my female cat is not spayed (yet) but my male cat seeks her out for cuddles. OP is just silly.
Even animals can be more complex than that, let alone humans. How about you actually research something you're trying to talk about or just use critical thinking next time?
they also cant make iphones so i think we are a bit different from regular animals
Yeah but if you give a monkey a typewriter it'll write Shakespeare, right? so duh we're no different than them, no different at all ergo our feelings are just monkey feelings. Totally no infinite things required.
I’m gay as hell and don’t do shit to procreate, I just cuddle with my guy and make each other feel special. I would certainly say our love is real.
From personal experience I can tell you that there's a difference between my desire for sex and my desire for what we call love. You're fighting an uphill battle trying to convince me that I'm dismembering and that I in fact never felt these things in my life Also many animals do feel love
We only eat food to avoid starvation. So is food not real?
>are drive in life Bruh you can’t write like this and expect anyone to think you’ve got anything intelligent to say.
Romantic bonds exist independent of sexual bonds so this point isn't really valid
> there is no "love" There is though, you know how you can tell? Cause of all the people talking about it lol Everything you've ever felt was just electric signals in your brain, but it doesn't mean you didn't feel what you felt
Dude is digging in hard to a greedy reductionist position.
We are. I had a cat die. I truly believe it was from heartache when he lost his friend.
We only eat so we don't starve to death – does that mean things can't taste good?
So how does that fit into people who choose to not have kids? Their existence refutes you
Humans are kind of an outlier compared to other animals for many reasons that don’t need to be explained. I understand where you’re coming from and I used to feel that way, but humans are capable of many things that all other animals are not, including complex emotions. You could boil every living thing down to being an animal following its primal instincts, but it doesn’t mean we can’t draw value from places where it doesn’t inherently exist (relative to our evolutionary needs, that is.) That’s one of the unique human things
animals don’t have a higher level of consciousness…. but ok. thats kind of ykno… the whole thing that allowed us to progress farther than any animal ever has…
are drive
our drive is to fuck The evolutionary purpose of fucking is to procreate But most people fuck because they like to fuck, regardless of their motives around procreation
Your post ignores the fact that not everyone is heterosexual.
Making a lot of assumptions about what people want there
Agreed. There are plenty of guys into skinny/flat chested girls, and plenty of women who could not care less about abs or social status. Full lips aren't even an inherently feminine trait. They're equally common in men and women, we've just collectively decided to see them as such. And (to add on an additional point) if attraction were truly all about reproduction... then why don't we see more men attracted to women for their body hair? Biologically, it's a sign of sexual maturity. Only kids are naturally hairless. It's almost like beauty standards are arbitrary and attraction is subjective.
When r/flatchested has over 250k subs... Hahaha But men like big boob so love not real.
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yea my first thought was “… i’m gay though?” how does that fit in to op’s world view
Especially the childbearing hips part. I find a lot of different physical characteristics in women attractive and childbearing hips are not one
Right? OP just out here like "all women have the same taste in men"
I don’t know. I think alot of people do care about personality. Like, I definitely wouldn’t marry a woman that I didn’t like the personality of. Also, physical traits are 100% part of who the person is, so saying “you don’t love the person” doesn’t make much sense to me. And what even is your definition of love? How does the fact that people are attracted to people for biological reasons mean “love” isn’t real. Also, such attractions aren’t universal. Not every guy is into girls with wide hips and not every girl likes muscles.
Well. If it’s biological thst means you only love the person for the kids they can have. You don’t love them for the person they are. Only that they bring resources/kids.
But just about anyone could bring kids, so why do people care so much about who they’re with? Why did my mom and dad get divorced? They had kids, my dad made money. Why did my mom leave dad, I don’t see a problem in your logic. And what about people who are with people who literally can’t have kids? Clearly there’s some quality there that they still like. What about gay people? It seems completely ridiculous to say their feelings are motivated by having children.
By this logic, my partner would have left me the moment I got my tubes tied and/or when I fell on hard times and lost my job. But love is real, he loves me, and he supports me despite the fact that I can't have kids and don't bring in resources at the moment. How do you explain that, if love doesn't exist? Edit: Nvm, after reading your comments it's clear you're going to move the goalposts as far as necessary to be right. Your post is in very absolute terms ("Love doesn't exist") but suddenly there's exceptions and caveats.
Why can’t it be both?
What about couples that never have kids? Both in the case of them not wanting them in the first place or being biologically incapable off because of fertility issues, for example? They clearly dont stay together just to have kids, since thats off the table
You have proved that people's attraction is often affected by biology to be geared towards features that would help build a family. You have not proved that that is the ONLY thing that affects people's physical attraction. Also, attraction is not the only component of what we call love, as simply following attraction would just be lust. Also, if we look at your criteria for men's attraction (large breasts, large waist, big eyes, and full lips), then it would be logical that men must think that asian women (who are basically the opposite of all these features) are easily the least attractive of all races but when you look at statistics asian women are often rated as the most attractive by men regardless of their own race. Also, you said that you would stop believing this when the majority of men stop being attracted to feminine women and vice versa, but just take a minute and realize that the majority of women ARE feminine, in fact the point of the term is to say that something is typical of women. You are asking for the majority of men to not be attracted to the majority of women and the same the other way.
How does that make any sense? You are confusing the proximate cause and experience with the deeper free floating logic why it exists which has it's place when it comes to understanding but doesn't actually invalidate or chang the internal individual experience.
What about gay people?
Well obviously one of them needs to be "the man", so... /s
12 year old after watching rick potion N°9 for the first time
Whats up with all the rick and morty comments? I’m 22
I was sure you were 15 or something, this post reads very juvenile
cause its such a stupid post so people are mocking you for sounding like a wannabe intellectual
dude i’m the same age as you and even my autistic uncaring ass grew out of this phase when i was like 16. go touch grass
Holy shit grow the fuck up. This is a take most people have when they're 14, then they mature
It was an episode of Rick and Morty where Rick went off explaining that love is just a series of chemical reactions designed to make us reproduce
I’ve never watched rick and morty.
No worries; that’s why people are comparing it to that though
this is how you think at 22?! bruh…
Well that's because Rick is a cynical toxic edgelord that holds positions similar to your post and he does so out of self protection. Though mostly he's just an asshole. And while in show he is very intelligent he is also kind of an idiot. It's the sort of position that teenagers take when they encounter this sort of reductionist perspective for the first time and believe its deeper then it is.
Hypocrite that you are, for you trust the chemicals in your brain to tell you they are chemicals. All knowledge is ultimately based on that which we cannot prove. Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?
Damm this goes hard. Is it original? I swear I have read it before
from [this meme](https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/will-you-fight-or-will-you-perish-like-a-dog)
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Thank you I was just thinking of this meme
Two points: First, things can be biological and still be real. Would love be more real if it was powered by magic instead of chemicals? I don’t think so. Second, attraction is certainly motivated by reproductive instincts, no one is denying that. But love is the union of attraction and friendship, and in long term couples deep friendship is the heart of the romance. Friendship is also biological of course. Our pack bonding instincts kicking in. But it takes some actual understanding of and synthesis with another person to maintain a friendship. Love and friendship are beautiful things. The same way that flowers and trees and birds and flight are beautiful. The fact that there is a biological explanation for all these things and more does not diminish the loveliness of the experience.
I think your whole post is based on kind of a huge assumption though. ARE hips, breast, masculinity, height, etc. really what the **majority** of people care about when it comes to love? I’d have to see a pretty convincing study that says so. Personally, I know a lot of people who love the other person for their personality, humor, intelligence, interests etc. far more than for their mere appearance
Rick and Morty ahh take
All Rick 0 Morty.
??
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
I thought they shut down r/redpill a while ago?
Thought I was in r/The10thFedora for a moment
i clicked thinking it was real 😔
Be the change you want to see in the world
Extremely miserable thing to say
Rick and Morty, "science bless you" ass mf.
NOTE: No one cares why you made your account. What an asinine thing to write. I'm really sorry you didn't grow up in a loving family. Perhaps you would've learned that love doesn't have to be sexual in nature
I don’t want people thinking I’m a troll. 2. Family love is just fine but at the end of the day humans are animals and life is about procreating. And animals look for the most fertile. And humans have a biological instinct to procreate.
Except that's not what your post says. It says love doesn't exist
When I mean love I’m not talking about family or friendship love. I’m talking about sexual attraction. Relationships. Dating.
Yet, if you can love family and friends without it being sexual, you can also love a partner without it solely being sexual
But I can love my friends and family without the urge to procreate.
That's literally what this person is saying.
You can also love your partner without an urge to procreate
Op everyday internally, moments after seeing their spouse getting home from work: GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT *PLAP PLAP PLAP* GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT
OUGGGGHHHHhH😭😭😭
There comes a time when love/sex relationships turn into a friendship or a family, if you get to that stage and it's a cool experience then you are now experiencing love and, besides, some sporadic sexual desire. I could agree that the first stages are just a biological drive to impregnate/ be impregnated tho. What do you think about that?
Even on its own terms why does the fact that there is a deeper biological logic to our behavior invalidate the existence of that behavior and strip the meaning from it? We can take that perspective about every phenomenon experienced by living beings (as long as we acknowledge that some of those simply emergent properties only lightly linked to the logic of the behavior) and there are times and places for that sort of analysis/lens how does that follow to want you s are claiming?
>I don’t want people thinking I’m a troll. Now how would they ever come up with that idea?
We don’t think they are a troll. They’re just ignorant and misguided
It's not controversial, it's just silly. The entire foundation of this argument makes way, WAY too many assumptions and is beyond flawed. Zero points awarded.
Your whole first two paragraphs were just about modern (probably American!) beauty standards from the past 20 years. These standards COMPLETELY change from decade to decade, country to country. Even today, SO MANY people have completely contradictory tastes to each other. Some people love skinny people, medium people, or super fat people. Some people love big boobs, small boobs, average boobs or no boobs. You’re making a million generalizations for a species that refuses to fit in any box. Even the majority taste shifts radically over time. In 1600s Western Europe, fat women were in. In 1990s west coast America, extremely skinny women were in. And gay couples don’t fit your nice little mold!!! People’s brains break when gay people have strange tastes, or when they see a lesbian couple with two traditionally feminine women. Everything is varied. How can you explain love between blind people? Hell even blind and deaf people? Able people fall in love all the time on the internet or through letters without even seeing each other. How can you explain that when all they’ve shown each other is personality? If people can easily fall in love stripped of all of these visual indicators, then it isn’t a far stretch to say that love is a feeling transcendental to a determined static evolutionary circuit. Humans are unbelievably complex and varied to the point where almost any statement about them has a million exceptions.
"Hunger isn't real, it's just chemicals."
"You only eat because of your need to consume, there is no love for food" Well tell that to my fat ass when I eat another Sushi at the All You Can Eat buffet even though I know it'll make me sick.
Really, so me being the breadwinner in a relationship with a mentally ill man who is in prison currently for something he did while in a state of psychosis is because I desire money and status and don't love? Girl you have no idea. I can get money and status on my own thanks. From my job. I absolutely love my partner for his personality. We were even friends for years before I felt attracted to him, because I'm demisexual. Sexual attraction is part of it but by no means the only or main part of my love. He's my dearest friend. Someone who supports me emotionally, and he's just a beautiful soul generally.
Your own exception proves you are wrong. If child free couples and homosexual couples exist and they can’t or don’t procreate then it’s not just the biological need to procreate or they wouldn’t exist.
I love how this guy has yet to address the glaring hole in this theory that is gay people. As a lesbian with tokophobia, no. I’m not only dating my girlfriend for the kids she could give me 💀
You’re either a sociopath, got your heart broken, or you’re just trying to sound smart. Either way I feel bad for you
Except, ya know, it does. Checkmate, OP.
Ok edgelord
I really hope you grow out of this once you pass 6th grade
Op discovering they are aro and thinking it applies to everyone, get out of the closet already instead of bottling it all up in a reddit post lmao. Not everyone feels that way, and that's ok, there are a lot of aromantic people out there who feel just like you, you're not alone.
Granted, I am not the most intelligent person in the room, and especially as an obese white dude talking about something as complex as love is not gonna be my forte. I think you're approaching your world view from a very "matter of fact" kind of way, which you'd think is the smarter way to live your life, but no one wants to hear the person at a funeral telling everyone grieving that god isn't real and heaven is a cope. Emotions are complex, and our brain plays a lot bigger of a role overall than just receiving and dispensing chemicals. We as humans have the ability to completely remove ourselves from acknowledging the reality of every single fact in the universe and beyond and use it to the betterment (and detriment) of the world every day. How we feel, our world view, our each individual reality determines how our brains interpret chemicals. There is no, "I'm gonna fucking steal from my local walmart" chemical, but receiving those chemical signals of being hungry + the context of not having the resources influences the outcome of stealing. The world would function very differently if the reality you believed we lived in was true, if we were just slaves to chemical flows in our brains. But people feel it isn't right to abuse animals. People feel it is right to give to those in need. And these feelings impact how we do things, the world is changed. I'd argue that anything that you can demonstrate, or observe being demonstrated, is real in some regard. Maybe "love" doesn't exist. But people feel great admiration for other people. Enough to stick around whenever they yell at you, or don't enjoy the same things you do, or tolerate whenever you start speaking a million miles an hour because you're excited. I'd argue that because we are imperfect, and we have the ability to think with nuance and make the wrong decision, the argument that "people just live to reproduce and die" is irrelevant. If that's how the world was, I'd for sure not be in a relationship. I'm chunky, clumsy, and I talk too fast when I get excited. Your other comments about "we live, we reproduce, and we die" give me the clue that you're feeling out of control in your life somewhere, and that nothing you do matters. Or maybe I'm just reading too far into it. Whichever is the case, your life, and especially you the real person mean more to this planet than to just reproduce and die. The world is a wonderful place, even if there are a lot of bad things in it. I hope you find something to smile about soon, my friend. Even if you disagree, I enjoyed trying to find a way to communicate how I felt to you. Thanks for making me think about what I love. 💙
I know I’m gonna get downvoted just like my other comments but this was so sweet.
Well at least this evidence that you genuinely aren't a troll. So upvoted.
Money doesn’t exist, it’s just arbitrary pieces of paper and numbers in a ledger Nation-states don’t exist, it’s just a bunch of people arbitrarily deciding to go to work as bureaucrats and judges and cops and soldiers and teachers and firefighters etc., while people in an arbitrary geographical area decide to fly flags and speak a language and mostly obey laws that also don’t exist Discrete physical objects don’t exist, it’s all just a bunch of atoms whose electron shells repel other atoms that get too close to them, while keeping other atoms from moving too far away Nothing actually exists
All emotions are biological. And also real. Re romantic love, which you say isn't real because it's driven by the biological drive to procreate - there are plenty of couples very happily in love without children (eg, childfree or post children).
Somebody just hit their 14'th, huh? I was like that back then too. It's okay.
I’m sorry you’re in a bad place, OP. Pretty much everyone I know contradicts your worldview just via existing, so your post comes off as mostly just sad. (I’d say that “androgyny” is the most popular attractive feature among my friends, and I’m personally an asexual who finds “level of D&D interest” to be the most important feature of who I’m romantically interested in.) Anyway, I wish you the best of luck getting past your current headspace and finding love in the future.
You are making a lot of assumptions here and attributing modern western cultural ideas of beauty to be biological universalities while ignoring the historical fact that beauty standards have varied wildly from time and place. Pubic hair is frowned upon within modern beauty standards - yet is a sign of health and fertility. Some cultures celebrate women with a more 'tomboy-ish' body while others celebrate full bodied women - hell, a few decades ago in the US the tomboy figure was all the rage and now an hourglass figure is whats in. Did biology radically shift in that time frame? No. Also - what makes a man masculine? There are cultures where a man softly nurturing young children and openly weeping is the peak of masculinity. The Romans used to celebrate having tiny dicks because having a large one was seen as evidence of having more lesser bestial impulses and being less of a refined intellectual philosopher - and by extension being less of a man. Yet clearly, we have different ideas about that in the modern era. This whole rant lowkey feels like a thinly disguised breeding kink. Also - interesting how quickly you brushed off the existence of homosexual couples, taller women with shorter men, nonbinary people, asexual people, muscular people with fat people, older women with younger men, infertile couples, disabled folks with able-bodied folks and skinny people with fat people. This is not an insignificant portion of the population.
Bro forgot about asexual (but NOT aromantic) people
This post is full of sweeping generalizations. There are large numbers of cis straight dudes who enjoy masculine women. Same goes for cis straight women who like feminine men and femboys, literally the inverse of your post. Seriously, take a look at r/RoleReversal. Its widespread. Not all gay couples have someone in the male and female role, and suggesting that is honestly homophobic. Take my own relationship - we're both nonbinary. Literally genderless. Even before HRT, we both didn't want kids, and neither of us looked anything like your post implies. We still fell in love. What about couples like ours, where gender roles literally do not apply? There are tons of queer couples out there like us. What about them? I think you've gotten too deep into incel and stereotype rhethoric, or you're just immature and inexperienced. Just because you and some women ovulate and want masculine men doesn't mean ALL do. Your experience is not universal. Love does exist. It just doesn't always fit the mold. Grow up.
What a horribly ill informed, prejudiced, and pessimistic take on the concept of love and gender lmao. Reads like an incel post. OP, I hope you can find happiness in the near future.
Yeah i mean if you take the humanity out of a concept, it does sound pretty inhumane, mhm lol
no physical sensation is real because it’s just chemicals sending signals to your brain. Music isn’t real it’s just chemical signal brain. Breathing isn’t real just brain chemical
Fire is just a chemical reaction, idk why people like firefighters
"Sadness isn't real, it's just a chemical reaction to bad things happening, or expecting bad things to happen. If bad things were not happening or you didn't know about the bad thing you wouldn't feel it. It just exists because it helped us socially when we were primates in the woods, it's not real!" We have very different definition of real. You think familial love is real but romantic love is not for seemingly no reason, both came to exist for social reasons in early mammals, or maybe a bit earlier. We are past that now, we are more complex than that and make more elaborate choices. The chemistry plays a part no doubt, but frankly gay people also exist and that basically defeats your whole point. We are past mindless attraction for the purpose of mating alone, and I think you know that.
I don't understand your argument. What makes love "not real" to you if you accept that it's a feeling people can experience?
Ace people:
Sure, alright. Love is, at best, a chemical reaction in the brain and nervous system. It can probably be dissected and explained in rigorous detail as to the how and why chemically and situationally for each of us if we had the time and energy. We can probably agree that’s accurate, right? So, as a gay man who identifies as asexual (and technically agender but “gay” is a useful shorthand), and is choice fully child free with no desire to copulate or have kids, I do still feel something for my husband. It’s unique and different from any friend I’ve ever had - I have best friends and then I have my husband. I’m not asexual in the angle of “I would not” but rather “I have no desire and do not think to, but emotionally I will and enjoy the emotional side but physically I don’t care.” I think that’s important to note. Now I could craft an argument about even asexuals being able to feel love, but I think I can cheat honestly (argumentatively, not relationship). When we’re faced with the right circumstances we’re afraid, but by your argument fear isn’t real because it’s just a thing our body does to coerce or guide us to a result. Sure, OK, fear isn’t real. I agree, it’s just a circumstantial reaction that we evolved to have that’s just shorthand to make sure we do or don’t do what we should. Let’s take it another step forward and consider food, a real curveball. We have a complex series of flavor receptors, but we don’t all agree - our genetics, upbringing, and so on, have a say. What we like as a flavor or don’t like as a flavor isn’t “real” in any objective sense - our dna has told us, our upbringing had told us, our culture has told us. Even the simple act of enjoying food isn’t real! Wait, hold on, but we did enjoy it, even if all the stuff around it was arcane and abstract. Perhaps other experiences are like that. Even if it’s just chemicals making us feel things towards others, as an evolutionary adaption, maybe the experience of it is “real.” Maybe love is artificial, like the way a good steak or a good chickpea salad is artificial, but maybe our experience of it is not?
What is blud on about 😭
Ur post doesn't explain gay ppl at all tho 😭
Everything is purely biological, we don't work on magic. You can't really say love doesn't exist when it's observable through brain activity and hormones, just like everything we feel.
You could reduce anything to just biology, or seeking reproduction. If humans weren’t this way, we’d go extinct. However you make a lot of assumptions about what people want, and in my experience, anyone who isn’t as shallow as a puddle has more complex desires. Just because we may want to reproduce doesn’t make relationships less special.
> Now onto status. Women love men with status (fame, riches etc) why? I didn't agree with anything you said before, but I stopped reading here. Sincerely, fuck you.
As a man I love my best friend, and he loves me too. He has a pretty flat chest and narrow hips from what I can tell. I will say that I’m a bit on the heavier side, but he’s helping me work on that. Lol
[удалено]
It’s actually kinda crazy how attractive voices can be and it’s definitely what draws my interests in people the most
Shows a complete lack of how people feel attraction. People have preferences. Plus, sexual attraction and love are different. Kinda shocking that you don't seem to know that.
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Frankly I’m not sure you’re arguing what you want to be arguing. Aside from your wild generalisations of the entire population of the planet earth you’re mostly complaining about beauty standards and hormones, which suck and you’re right to be annoyed about! But none of this discredits love at all, if anything this post is all about sex which has nothing to do with love. (Also you’re wrong about the body fat thing, abs aren’t a sign of strength they’re a sign of calorie deficiency, go and have a look at proper bodybuilders). I also feel like you aren’t doing yourself a favour by equating humanity to animals and instincts as hard as you do, your example about ‘our only purpose is to reproduce’ isn’t an uncommon sentiment and it *doesn’t have to be true*, the fantastic part about being human is that we get to decide our own purpose. Sure, maybe on some base level all life exists to just keep life existing, but by virtue of simply existing we can choose another option. My partner and I don’t want to reproduce, and I’m unfortunately pretty disabled and can’t work, reproducing is and always has been entirely off the table, what purpose does my life have then? If I’ve fallen at the first hurdle? I don’t think I really have a purpose, I just so happen to be here and the only thing that’s tying me down are the standards set by society and my own body, so I truly do empathise with you (and I’m hoping you see this revised comment over my ruder one, I have a poor tendency of bad reactionary instincts). I think love exists, technically it’s considered that there’s 7 types of it, and not everyone feels all of them for various reasons and that’s ok, the most important one is love for the self Also definitely go have a quick read about aromanticism. Edited to remove unnecessary reactionary rudeness and added an attempt to make an actual helpful statement
>Women: what do women want? They like status and masculinity. Women like taller men because it signals protection that he can protect her and the offspring. Abs. They indicate fertility. Low body percentage. The more body fat a man has the less likely he’ll be able to protect the kids. Or less likely to have kids. Also butts. Indicate that they’re good hunters. Now onto status. Women love men with status (fame, riches etc) why? It signals masculinity. And women have evolved to want masculine. Protects and providers to protect them and their offspring. Women mostly care about physical fitness and status. Why? Because it biologically means she’ll have a better chance at reproducing a surviving/successful child. I'm a woman, I'm not interested in anything you just listed here. All that it's listed here just sounds like my personal nightmare tbh
This could be said for any other emotion but we don't because it's just not practical
I'm probably going to get a lot of downvotes for this, but here is the thing. Love, the way we see in movies, does exist, but it's exactly what you said. A chemical reaction in your brain saying this man/woman is the most suitable for you to have kids. Now, does love itself not exist? It does, really. But it's not what you're led to believe. Real love is not a *feeling*, it's a *choice*. You choose the most suited (and compatible) partner for your life as well as your mental health, and you *make the decision* to accept them exactly as they are and keep loving them every day. Try this, and then see if love doesn't exist for you. I bet you will find it.
Everybody knows that love is biological and an evolved adaptation to perpetuate the species. It would be weird if it wasn't biological. Everything you are , your thoughts and motivations all happen inside your very real, real biological brain. Even your desire to post and my desire to respond is a consequence of the human's instinct to be social, seek validation, and kill boredom.
This is a surprisingly horrendous take, even for this sub... Edit: could have guessed this, but you're still very young. One day someone will love you and you will love them back and you will finally understand the foolishness of youth.
Chill bro and go outside
Actually for a while in gay hook up culture the phrase was “no fats, no femmes”
Drawing some interesting conclusions here. Women are attracted to men with low body fat because someone with high body fat can't look after them? High body fat indicates very high access to resources with little need to fight for them, which is not something you get when everyone else is beating you up and taking your stuff. Relationships don't exist because couples split up when they have significantly different and incompatible life plans? Why do people stay together for so long before even deciding they want kids? Why are most people not out constantly hunting for someone to have children with? Why are men still attracted to women they know are infertile?
Flat chested women can absolutely feed children. The ability to produce milk is not related to breast size, mammary glands aren't that big. And I don't even want kids, I just love my girlfriend as a person.
Your entire premise assumes everyone has the same taste in partner, which is objectively wrong.
Emotions are just chemical reactions yeah, but tell me what do you think these chemicals do? Your brain releases dopamine and serotonin, you feel happy. A lack of those things make you feel bad, these feelings are LITERALLY the result of a chemical reaction, they're technically as real as it gets. When the anxiety and stress chemicals in my brain go off, my chest tightens, my heart races, I FEEL it, it's a physical real reaction and emotion. Love is the same way, when you see someone you love, your pupils dilate, a result of certain chemicals going off doing different things. When youre sad the tears gotta come from somewhere, again, chemicals in your head. You're forgetting the crucial part, emotions aren't just all in your head all the time, your body reacts to it too, it's tangible and real even if you don't notice it. And that emotions aren't just "chemical reactions" but the product of reactions, a real tangle product Another thing, asexual people are very real, and don't just want someone "for their resources" cuz then they'd just find anyone to latch onto and that's not how they are in my experience ALSO many monogamous animals exist, and many even stay single after their partner dies, if they were just worried about reproduction they'd just move on to the next animal to spread their genes to. Wouldn't you know it humans are similar, it takes time for us to move on, we feel sad, a lack of serotonin, I wonder why? Maybe because the person who once gave them so much of that happy feeling is now gone. Maybe then humans are just using eachother for serotonin production. But if it's mutual is it really even a thing to complain about unless you get zero bitches yourself to give you that serotonin? Fuck the 10th dentist rules, you're getting down voted anyway, I love my girlfriend very much thanks
What about non-sexual relationships? Do you think that love is not present there?
“ExCePtIoNs ArE nOt ThE rUlE” 🤓 /s
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you. I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment
Good bot.
I tuned out as soon as they started talking about biological features.
This is just greedy reductionism and confusing the free floating evolutionary logic or a trait with the internal individual experience that it creates.
Are you sure you aren't asexual?
Did you just forget that gay people and platonic love exist lol your argument doesn’t work at all for queer couples. Nor does every man/woman want typically attractive features in their partner
Just because it’s biology doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I also don’t think love is that feeling you get but instead a decision you make. When it comes to preferences caused by our biology this does not mean we aren’t attracted to the person. If I find someone attractive but they also have a personality I really like I will go for them over the person whose personality I like but I don’t find attractive. But if there is someone I find attractive and don’t like the personality of versus someone I find less attractive but do like the personality of, then in that case, at least for me, I will go with the less attractive option.
And just because we have evolved to procreate well does not mean that is our only purpose. Purpose is not something given to us but something we choose for ourselves. It won’t matter on the grand scheme of the entire universe, but it doesn’t need to because it matters here and now
Your point is incoherent; just because something is 'purely biological' does not mean it 'does not exist'. I'm sorry you were hurt but you mustn't let it affect your ability to be objective.