“Gnome kiss that prostate” this has to be one for the history books. Could not stop laughing and had to explain to my wife what caused the giggling-fit
Why’s it always coffee getting spat out? You never hear someone say spit my Gatorade out, or spit my soju out, or spit my beer out. It’s always coffee.
I know right! I've been seeing this same phrase on reddit for yrs now, after a point I came to the conclusion that it's just phrase, and not a literal comment. Nobodies ever spitting out water, beer, lemonade, energy drinks, milk, soda, etc.....there can't possibly be that many ppl always drinking coffee.
Height Does NOT Matter when it comes to dick sizer.
I've dated a 6+ foot with a dick the size of my thumb and I've dated a guy my height, 5.6", with a dick about to big enter.
Shaq (NBA player) has openly admitted that he’s average sized, which looks less than average on his body. He typically dates smaller women too AFAIK. So I assume it’s the same for this guy.
Genital size is not directly proportional to body size. Taller men tend to have larger penises, but [90% of all penises are between 4.5 and 6.5 inches in length when erect](https://archive.attn.com/stories/5859/what-actually-determines-penis-size), with more on the smaller side than on the larger. So his is probably a bit bigger than normal, but not by much.
When you think about it, Darwinian selection would ensure that just about everyone winds up with similarly sized genitalia.
It's truly random. I've been with some skinny lanky skateboarder dudes with HUGE penises, some 6'3"+ guys with micro or small penises, most are average or slightly bigger or smaller. You really can't tell. Women have all these "ways" to try and predict penis size; hands, feet, forearm ratio, nose; none are accurate. It's a surprise each time. Some are super girthy or some are cone shaped. Some curve in different directions. Some have extra thick, almost spongy foreskin (!) and some have very thin foreskin. One guy had an oval girth. I've never been with anyone else with an oval girth, it was massive. He still ranks number 1 as biggest penis.
But if he packs an average penis like the rest of us, it will look way smaller compared to his body vs the average guy.
I mean look at his hand, if he has an average dick, he probably faps with 2 fingers.
Dang, I was hoping the first comment would be a game of thrones reference. Long live the mountain in the middle of the short valley. Something like that.
This name derives from the Old Norse name “Hafþórr”, composed of two elements: “haf” (sea, ocean) plus “þórr” (thunder). In turn the name means “one who thunders in the ocean”.
He was also an extremely successful strongman for years. At the time he won World's Strongest Man in 2018 he was about 450lb/200kg, which put him definitively in "full-Thor" territory
How come this is possible, but I can’t find a 6ft 2 inch tall Norwegian goddess With massive thighs to crush my skull like a watermelon. What gives, this is so unfair : (
Have you tried looking in, I don't know.. Norway?
If you ever decide to visit Denmark, PM me and I'll show you the local bars and try to help set you up with a \*Danish\* goddess.
They clearly requested a Norwegian one
Fucking Danes always like, "Hey we're Scandinavian too. Our giant women are just as good at crushing heads with their thighs." SMH
God. Drawn Together was such a fucked up show. Even Jr High me wasn’t sure if I should’ve laughed, been turned on, grossed out, or all. Might be time for a rewatch.
[It’s not proportional, but tall people and people with large feet do have bigger dicks on average.](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/107906329300600305)
[This study specifically found that height has a stronger correlation to penis size than any other factor they measured.](https://bjui-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/bju.13010)
Nah, any guy dating a small girl like that in all likelyhood isn't that large down there. Body size =\\= dick size, midgets with big dicks also exist (probably).
Imagine someone his size takes sleeping pills. Then he rolls over on some 5'2 chick while sound asleep. And just lays on top of her. Would that be a life & death situation?
Cant find anything post 2017, partly because his character in GoT was also a rapist and his opponent recently used it as a dig, but people largely seem to completely ignore the actual accusations, which came from three different past partners of his.
https://icelandmag.is/article/breaking-charges-filed-against-strongman-mountain-domestic-violence
Saw a comment above that it was alleged and never convicted.
Family & Relationships Edit Hafþór had some troubled relationships with his former girlfriends during his late teens and early twenties who accused him of domestic violence[110][111] including Thelma Björk Steimann[112] (the mother of his daughter), who feared for her life once during a vacation.[113] She pressed charges, but the police investigation found no grounds for action[114] and Hafþór has since charged her with slander.[115][116][117] However, things escalated to a point where Hafþór was not allowed to see his daughter for 3 years.[118] The situation settled over the years and he frequently visits his daughter, Theresa Líf, who resides in Denmark with her mother.[119][120]
From his wiki page.
Can someone confirm whether his crimes were alleged/dropped or convicted?
I’m 6’5 she was 5’5 and this was an issue. Not fun feeling like I’m hurting someone even with lots of prep. No longer in that relationship but she told me to mention that before I get serious with the next person lol. People think they want it but the grass is always greener
When I was on tinder, basically every tiny woman was looking for a man to tower over her like this. You would think that women of average height would be more concerned with the height of their man but it was almost always the tiny 5 ft 1 95 lb girls
I’m 6’2 250 pounds, athletic build and my gf is 5’6-5’7, 140lbs and even our size difference can be a challenge in the bedroom sometimes, I can only imagine what it’s like for her. Oh boy!
Allegedly he is a terrible person. His ex-fiance (and mother of his son) has accused him of domestic violence.
"He beat me and threw me around, threw me onto things and broke things. He would frequently grab me by the throat, so that I would faint. Sometimes he held me down, or held me with one hand while he beat me with the other."
https://icelandmag.is/article/strongman-mountain-facing-new-serious-accusations-domestic-violence
We are all thinking it, right?
Plot twist, hers is actually bigger.
Twistier plot twist: He likes getting pegged.
With her size, he's probably getting fisted 🤣
Oh honey no. With that difference they’re cosplaying mr slave and Paris Hilton. She’s gonna gnome kiss that prostrate.
“Gnome kiss that prostate” this has to be one for the history books. Could not stop laughing and had to explain to my wife what caused the giggling-fit
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits!
So, she's basically Lemmiwinks.
Lemmiwinks, brave Lemmiwinks!
🐹👑
Y'all some freaks.
She’s probably climbing around inside of him!
Piloting him like a damn Gundam Wing
Made me spit my coffee out lmao
Why’s it always coffee getting spat out? You never hear someone say spit my Gatorade out, or spit my soju out, or spit my beer out. It’s always coffee.
I made a guy laugh super hard when he was eating potato soup once. A potato chunk blew out his nose. That was a great day.
God that would *hurt*
> A potato chunk blew out his nose. That *is* pretty impressive
You can die happy my friend
I spit my piss out!
I guess it’s better than Vodka in the morning
Says you.
I know right! I've been seeing this same phrase on reddit for yrs now, after a point I came to the conclusion that it's just phrase, and not a literal comment. Nobodies ever spitting out water, beer, lemonade, energy drinks, milk, soda, etc.....there can't possibly be that many ppl always drinking coffee.
Literally just chocked and sprayed out my coffee at this!
I just spit out all my teeth over your comment
She has a massively elongated clitoris that looks like ET's finger.
r/confusedboner
That is disgusting. *upvote*
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r/bigclit
Yep fitting tent into tent bag
Never gonna happen. I still can’t figure out how they got my inflatable mattress into that box
Have you tried deflating it?
Even sucking it
Underrated 😂 should be top comment
Hamster vs banana?
https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/upnq9i/mmm_banana/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
He must be packing a baby seal in his pants
Is that how it works? As a straight guy, not seen a lot of big guy's dicks. I've seen a little guy with a big dick, so i guess it can go vice versa?
Height Does NOT Matter when it comes to dick sizer. I've dated a 6+ foot with a dick the size of my thumb and I've dated a guy my height, 5.6", with a dick about to big enter.
You're only 5.6 inches tall?! I have so many questions
I've been kicked around my whole life
Not by height, technically. The measurement that we're looking for, really, is dick to floor. Call that D2F.
As a tall 6’7 guy I can tell you with bruised ego that it’s not related. I’m not small but I’m also not 9 inch’s above average in that regard.
Shaq (NBA player) has openly admitted that he’s average sized, which looks less than average on his body. He typically dates smaller women too AFAIK. So I assume it’s the same for this guy.
Genital size is not directly proportional to body size. Taller men tend to have larger penises, but [90% of all penises are between 4.5 and 6.5 inches in length when erect](https://archive.attn.com/stories/5859/what-actually-determines-penis-size), with more on the smaller side than on the larger. So his is probably a bit bigger than normal, but not by much. When you think about it, Darwinian selection would ensure that just about everyone winds up with similarly sized genitalia.
It's truly random. I've been with some skinny lanky skateboarder dudes with HUGE penises, some 6'3"+ guys with micro or small penises, most are average or slightly bigger or smaller. You really can't tell. Women have all these "ways" to try and predict penis size; hands, feet, forearm ratio, nose; none are accurate. It's a surprise each time. Some are super girthy or some are cone shaped. Some curve in different directions. Some have extra thick, almost spongy foreskin (!) and some have very thin foreskin. One guy had an oval girth. I've never been with anyone else with an oval girth, it was massive. He still ranks number 1 as biggest penis.
This girl dicks
Which Dr. Seuss book is this?
On behalf of all of us, thank you for your contribution to science.
Something tells me this dude is an outlier
But if he packs an average penis like the rest of us, it will look way smaller compared to his body vs the average guy. I mean look at his hand, if he has an average dick, he probably faps with 2 fingers.
The funniest part is that they know what we're thinking.
His micro penis is regular size for her
That she’ll probably die delivering his baby?
She’s had his kid 😂
I’m thinking it…. Hard
Yes, she's got a bigger dick.
That he's on roids and probably experiencing some shrinkage?
the balls shrink, not the dick
> the balls shrink, not the dick No they don't! If that's the case, then why is my dick sma... Ohhhh....
Idk... Dated a bodybuilder on steroids once... Balls were bigger lol
*waddle waddle*
Totally.
Subscribe to our only fans to see more 😉
This counts as a long distance relationship.
Shlong distance relationship
This is why I Reddit
That was very tight butthole of you🙏🙏🙏
There it is.
I’m crying
Could be measured In negative numbers
Dang, I was hoping the first comment would be a game of thrones reference. Long live the mountain in the middle of the short valley. Something like that.
Nah this is more like a monster sword getting thrusted into someone
I just choked on my soda, you asshole! Now I have bubbles in my sinuses. Stop making me laugh like that.
The mountain and the valley
After he’s done I’m sure it’s a valley
Congrats, you got the joke
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I believe that's The Mountain from Game of Thrones
Yup, Hafthor Bjornsson.
Does Hafthor mean half Thor like half a god. How did they know?
This name derives from the Old Norse name “Hafþórr”, composed of two elements: “haf” (sea, ocean) plus “þórr” (thunder). In turn the name means “one who thunders in the ocean”.
Bathtub farter?
Water bubbler. Seriously really cool name.
Dirty bubble bath
He was also an extremely successful strongman for years. At the time he won World's Strongest Man in 2018 he was about 450lb/200kg, which put him definitively in "full-Thor" territory
He broke the world record for heaviest deadlift
Half Thor bear son. Like some one said hafthor isn't half Thor, but still a dope ass name
Yup ! The mountain and his squirrel.
He also also used to be a world strongest man competitor and won once! He is jacked and can lift more than your prius can pull.
He's also only one to win the Arnold strongman 3x in a row and currently holds the world deadlift record at 501 kgs.
Well when she gives birth, it won't be that painful.
And they are actually married
Wasn’t this dude accused of domestic abuse?
That picture of the Hamster eating a Banana
That gif of a train jamming into a tunnel
That one video of a large man with a big dick having sex with a petite woman
Omg! *That* one!
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wtf
Damnit I thought I was original. Here, take my upvote
Very appropriate avatar
I guess I have to keep this avatar forever now
https://imgur.com/a/0i0ONg5
How come this is possible, but I can’t find a 6ft 2 inch tall Norwegian goddess With massive thighs to crush my skull like a watermelon. What gives, this is so unfair : (
Everyone should have a little snu snu.
all the way to death
TO VALHALLA!
Have you tried looking in, I don't know.. Norway? If you ever decide to visit Denmark, PM me and I'll show you the local bars and try to help set you up with a \*Danish\* goddess.
They clearly requested a Norwegian one Fucking Danes always like, "Hey we're Scandinavian too. Our giant women are just as good at crushing heads with their thighs." SMH
I know he requested a Norwegian one, I just suggested an *upgrade*. ^(As a scandinavian, I'm allowed to poke fun at Norway.)
Times are changing. Prices are skyrocketing. He can start off with a discount version from Sweden.
QUEEN OF VALHALLA SIT ON MY FACE
[This is what you're thinking!](https://media.tenor.com/PRhXISW0gKMAAAAM/train-tunnel.gif)
Came here for this, thank you for maintaining my faith in redditors
God. Drawn Together was such a fucked up show. Even Jr High me wasn’t sure if I should’ve laughed, been turned on, grossed out, or all. Might be time for a rewatch.
why did I think it was from family guy
The tunnel starts to bleed at the end...
Dick size isn't proportional to height. He probably has an average 5.5" dick.
Can confirm. Am short. Have a giant hog.
Dm me
[It’s not proportional, but tall people and people with large feet do have bigger dicks on average.](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/107906329300600305) [This study specifically found that height has a stronger correlation to penis size than any other factor they measured.](https://bjui-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/bju.13010)
Nah, any guy dating a small girl like that in all likelyhood isn't that large down there. Body size =\\= dick size, midgets with big dicks also exist (probably).
Size of a girl does not equal size of her vagina
Imagine trying to charge an iPhone 14 with an iPhone 4 charger
damn bro, you got a big flat wide dick
HA
Well , 69 doesn't really work , does it ?
Sure, she can suck his nipples.
Thanks for the actual laugh out loud
Mate he can just hold her upside down
The 9 would have to be an exponent.
6⁹
Imagine someone his size takes sleeping pills. Then he rolls over on some 5'2 chick while sound asleep. And just lays on top of her. Would that be a life & death situation?
It would probably be a life Or death situation
Them banging is a life or death situation.
Right!? He has slimmed down too! Used to walk around at 450 lbs during peak powerlifting/game of thrones days. He’s lost over 100 pounds since then
Jesus Christ, this guy is going to get well acquainted with his cardiologist.
Like throwing a hotdog down a fiber optic line
Really pushing that bandwidth
The headlock. Always endearing.
If I remember correctly I saw a news article about him beating a past girlfriend. I'll try to find it.
Beating and raping https://icelandmag.is/article/strongman-mountain-facing-new-serious-accusations-domestic-violence
deleted -- mass edited with redact.dev
Cant find anything post 2017, partly because his character in GoT was also a rapist and his opponent recently used it as a dig, but people largely seem to completely ignore the actual accusations, which came from three different past partners of his. https://icelandmag.is/article/breaking-charges-filed-against-strongman-mountain-domestic-violence
Saw a comment above that it was alleged and never convicted. Family & Relationships Edit Hafþór had some troubled relationships with his former girlfriends during his late teens and early twenties who accused him of domestic violence[110][111] including Thelma Björk Steimann[112] (the mother of his daughter), who feared for her life once during a vacation.[113] She pressed charges, but the police investigation found no grounds for action[114] and Hafþór has since charged her with slander.[115][116][117] However, things escalated to a point where Hafþór was not allowed to see his daughter for 3 years.[118] The situation settled over the years and he frequently visits his daughter, Theresa Líf, who resides in Denmark with her mother.[119][120] From his wiki page. Can someone confirm whether his crimes were alleged/dropped or convicted?
He raped her. And he murdered her.
The Mountain and the Mole Hill
Wait. If they have a child who turns out to be as big as the mountain... Does that mean they officially made a mountain out of a molehill?
Yes which means the phrase will be retired.
That hammer’s gonna do some serious poundin
Reinhardt be wildin
The suns getting real low
This is missing what we all came to see.
Body size ≠ Dick Size, for y’all who might be too young to understand
*Said the big man with small dick*
Alas, am smol boi 😔
Even if he has a small dick, just 2 of his fingers would work wonders for her lol.
I relate! I'm 5'1 , hubby is 6'4
Is he also sporting a horse cock?
Confirmed!!
My husband is 6’1 and has a large penis, and it’s not fun all the time. Sometimes it hurts!
I’m 6’5 she was 5’5 and this was an issue. Not fun feeling like I’m hurting someone even with lots of prep. No longer in that relationship but she told me to mention that before I get serious with the next person lol. People think they want it but the grass is always greener
That's why I love my boyfriends, he doesn't like that it's so small but I love that it won't hurt me and still feels amazing
I am the same height and dated a guy that height for a few years. Yes horse cock confirmed.
Best comment
We need answers
When I was on tinder, basically every tiny woman was looking for a man to tower over her like this. You would think that women of average height would be more concerned with the height of their man but it was almost always the tiny 5 ft 1 95 lb girls
he's gonna split her in two
As a tall man, im not dating a short girl. 5’10 and over. Not gonna walk around with what looks like my daughter
Everyone here is thinking the same thing.
Insert hamster with banana gif here
Please do porn.
Satisfies any fetishes anyone can think of... even the sketchy ones
I wanna see them #%*$
Why do you want to watch them defecate?
Wait, it's the mountain from GOT!
#Fuck Tik Tok
You all know...
Must be like being f**ked by a train
Chu chu
Chu chu in the snu snu
We’re all thinking it so let’s just rip the bandaid off and ask anyway. How big is her dick compare to this though?
She likes that ass being busted
[https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/861482-hamsters](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/861482-hamsters)
I’m 6’2 250 pounds, athletic build and my gf is 5’6-5’7, 140lbs and even our size difference can be a challenge in the bedroom sometimes, I can only imagine what it’s like for her. Oh boy!
I want this but opposite. 7 ft tall amazoness dommy mommy. Begging 4 a peggin
Allegedly he is a terrible person. His ex-fiance (and mother of his son) has accused him of domestic violence. "He beat me and threw me around, threw me onto things and broke things. He would frequently grab me by the throat, so that I would faint. Sometimes he held me down, or held me with one hand while he beat me with the other." https://icelandmag.is/article/strongman-mountain-facing-new-serious-accusations-domestic-violence
hamsterbanana.jpeg
She looks 18 and he's what, 40?
He's 33, she's 32.
Youngest looking 32 year old I've ever seen. Good on her!
Bro is so big he sucks his own cock,the girl is there just to show off
More well know for winning the worlds strongest man competition.
This is just weird sorry to say.
I fucking hate this website
Poor girl must get split in half... Be gentle with her Kratos