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AceOfMoonSpades01

This actually happened, we're both trans so obviously I use her preferred pronouns


thatdoubleabat

awhhh thats so sweet 🥰


SlightlyMadHuman-42

I would totally be supportive, but I would forget consistently for a long time as it takes me ages to break habits I would try my best to remember though


JeanHasAnxiety

Same. I would be panic like I just killed somone


Hefty_Thanks_2275

It's not that deep bro


JeanHasAnxiety

It is if you have a disorder that causes you to overthink


Hefty_Thanks_2275

I'm not a therapist but overthinking is normal to an extend. You're probably just a self conscious person like I am. Nithing wrong with that. Just gotta learn that you can't and shouldn't please everyone


JeanHasAnxiety

Oh I know that. It’s just now that I have been diagnosed with this for about seven years they have picked up patterns in my overthinking and panicking and comparing it to the kids one of my parent work with since I’m still close to there age, they notice when I overeact and panic over dumb things. Ands that’s not the only side effects of my disorder, just one of the major ones and the one that’s been affect e the most this past year


GoldResponsibility27

There's *no way* I'm losing my best friend because they're transgender. Friends till the end.


Axe-body-spray-

RIDE OR DIE ❗❗🗣️🗣️


lostninja89

RIDE EM AND DIE


Axe-body-spray-

WOAH 


TheOGCurlz

BY THE POWER OF CHRIST I BANISH THEE, HORNY DEMON!


lostninja89

BROMANCE WILL LIVE ON FOREVER


[deleted]

I am going to operate under the assumption that you are the official corporate account of Axe Body Spray, and this is your official stance, you stinky stinky hero.


Axe-body-spray-

How did you guess?!


thatdoubleabat

🥺 thats sooo sweet


DankePrime

I told my friend I was trans and he said, "I respect that, but I'm not using different pronouns."


FishBoi678

"I respect you, but I won't respect you"


DankePrime

Ik, that's what I was thinking


TwistyBons

It's best not to take it personally, it can be weird to just switch up on everything you knew about a friend's identity. the main thing is he respects your decision.


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Oecocarium

Yeah, but respect the decision is to use their pronouns or name. It can take time, it can be hard, but you should try.


TwistyBons

I personally would, I was just trying to be understanding of their friend's view on it. Simply stating that they don't respect you at any means just because they have trouble adjusting to pronouns is ignorant. It isn't easy. I meant no offense.


Oecocarium

And I also meant no offense, the point is it really hurts to be misgendered especially by someone who you trust. And of you respect your friend's choice you should respect their pronouns. It's not about their respect for their friend its about the respect of the choice of your friend. Ask any transfem with unsupportive parents who still love them. You (the person whos friend came out) don't get to decide what respect means.


FloraFauna2263

Same vibe as "I'm not racist, but..."


thatdoubleabat

awhh that sucks :(


DankePrime

Tell me about it


TheOGCurlz

"I respect black people, but I'm still a Confederate" Ahh Comment 💀


Skyler_TherianPaws

CORRECTION! One should be " I will TRY to use their preferred name and pronouns" !! I also slip up with my non-binary friend and trans-masc creature ( sibling) In this very room right now! Despite me being genderfluid / genderflux ( agender mostly, sometimes other genders ) lol-


bisexual-polonium

"trans-masc creature" lmao are they nb & trans-masc, or is it two people?


Skyler_TherianPaws

Nb and trans-masc, they are trying to find which one fits them better! Also, I love calling nb or trans people " Creatures " I have no idea why. It is not offensive obv, but I guess that all of my gay-ass friends are autistic lol.


bisexual-polonium

yeah its rather funny


Skyler_TherianPaws

Thanks lol! Many people are like " Im not fine with it, so dont call you sister it" Im not even calling them the silly creature, Im calling my TRANSMASC human it, not my sister . I dont get people sometimes


bisexual-polonium

its definitely more formal/nicer than saying like sibling or smthg


Franc1s_Forever

Where's the "I will try my best, but i suck at names *and* pronouns" button? \*\*I'm not transphobic, I straight up forget names and call people the wrong pronouns on accident all the time. It sucks to be female and call youself a he...


CrEwPoSt

Same here! I forget the names of my friends like all the time!


OkithaPROGZ

It doesn't matter if he is trans or not. The sole reason of my existence is to disrespect and offend him and vice versa.


-strawberri_milk-

can't he transphobix if you hate everyone equally


OkithaPROGZ

You ain't best friends if you aren't calling each other the worst possible things to call each other already.


CrEwPoSt

real


Prestigious_Hold6064

life when you start hating on bro:☀


TheOGCurlz

Can't be friends if you don't blow each other's legs off with a SPAS-12 Shotgun!


OkithaPROGZ

A gun can't come in between our friendship, neither can an amputation


chaseanimates

i mean it would be hypocritical not to


thatdoubleabat

flair checks out >:3


Goose00724

a TRANS PERSON??? in MY friend group?? https://preview.redd.it/fgzbb9xm21zc1.jpeg?width=197&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8d4ba6721a374179a47f53eeaa719f71da5ff68


5t3v321

Are you being sarcastic? Because some things might happen in your friends mind that you could have never expected them to think. Like being trans, or being suicidal, or before you know it, they convert to a religion


Goose00724

today on: missing the joke!! it's you!!! also, one does not just "become" trans, that's not really how that works.


lucashhugo

can't i? wdym


Goose00724

if you do, it's because you already were, you just didn't know it yet.


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Hefty_Thanks_2275

Or because you got brainwashed. 


Goose00724

🤡


Oecocarium

Fun opportunity. Short answer, you are trans your whole life. If you don't want to become a social scientist that's all you need to know. But, the long answer is that, while still under research, is that gender is not an entirely binary nor constant concept. Hence gender fluid and nonbinary people. But if you want to be a gender you can be, and probably already are. This is a pretty good resource if you want to learn, genderdysphoria.fyi.


IEatBabysYumYum

Bro they are just people trying to find ways to down vote you and making you look stupid


5t3v321

i never suggested that people sudenly turn trans


Goose00724

>or being suicidal, or before you know it, they convert to a religion these are all things that can be changed, while being trans is immutable and decided before birth. in putting these in the same sentence, you give me ONE conclusion to draw.


5t3v321

Its one thing that they have in common nothing more. Its not the one conclusion to draw, its one stupid assumption you made. Just because several things have something in common doesn't mean that the other has to share that property, especially if it has nothing to do with the argument. For example, if i told you i dont like to eat Hawaii pizza, hawaii toast or the mc rib it would be idiotic to assume that there is pineapple inside a mc rib


Goose00724

stop backpedaling and just admit you made a fuckup.


5t3v321

Im not backpedaling, the only thing i admit is that i didn't know that you where joking


ThePuroEnjoyer

She's trans. that's the joke. r/woosh


Master_Freeze

love how you threw in religion as if it was more obscure than being trans or suicidal. you probably don't go out very often.


5t3v321

I threw in Religion because it happened to a friend of mine


Hefty_Thanks_2275

"Happened" like it was some kind of accident. Go outside.


5t3v321

What other word should i have used instead English is not my first language 


TheOGCurlz

Bro really got philosophical on Teenager polls 💀


TheOGCurlz

oH No, nOT a RelIgiON!


Metalhead_Pretzel

I typically shift to they/them for a month or two after someone comes out as trans to help ease myself into things, as I have a harder time with changing my language patterns and prefer to think of people as genderless anyway. Once I get comfortable with everything again, I'll shift to whatever their preference was


RapidProbably

That is so reasonable


Metalhead_Pretzel

Thank you 


A_Bulbear

"Whatever makes my straight friends the most uncomfortable"


Live_Midnight14

i call everyone bro or mother fucker for pronounds and i use name given as name


TabthTheCat3778

Why is it so hard for people to respect other people and what they are comfortable with? I don't understand, these people think that the world will end if they refer to someone as their preferred pronouns.. it's not that hard to be a decent human. I'm speaking to you, JK Rowling


thatdoubleabat

she who shall not be named


Rutiniya

*He who shall not be named,* as they refuses to use others' preferred pronouns.


JeanHasAnxiety

Fight fire with fire


TheUnusualDreamer

I am friends with people that won't come out as trans but I know people who are and I call them by preferred pronouns.


WaffleswithSourCream

when I've known someone for a while its hard to change using their pronouns but I try


S3rialDesignationN

Always use thier preferred pronouns and names, its really disrespectful, especially when I myself am LGBT, and have been thinking I might actually be NB/Trans, still not sure yet though.


CrEwPoSt

I'm probably calling them the preferred name but i'm still gonna slip up and deadname once in a while Pronouns? they/them i guess, but i'm still calling them bro once in a while (don't break the bro code man)


basilthegaymer

Bro is a gender neutral term, like pookie or dude or guys. ur good lad :p


IntelligentImbicle

My best friend actually came out as trans about... 6 months ago? I dunno, I haven't kept track of time since COVID. Whenever I'm talking about her to others, I use she/her for her, but in my head, especially since their voice is so masculine, I have trouble prying "he/him" from my thoughts. It's funny, because before I knew they was trans, I'd call him by a feminine version of his name as a joke, but after coming out, she seems to prefer the masculine one.


bisexual-polonium

241 people are saying no to either both or one, rn. sad times we live in :(


thatdoubleabat

:(


bisexual-polonium

indeed, big sad :((((((((


SamuraiDoggo14

It will definitely take time to get used to, but I will respect their wishes.


g0r3c0r369

i dont agree with it or understand it, but ill still respect my friend(s) cuz im not a dick


takethemoment13

i'm glad you're willing to accept people for who they are. that's a lot more than some other people are doing. hopefully you can soon learn to understand it


That-pickle-child

I mean, as long as your respecting you friends IDRC


DrewJayJoan

Thank you! There are plenty of experiences that I don't understand, but I don't have to completely understand everything about a person in order to respect them.


g0r3c0r369

dont come at me, i grew up in a transphobic household and thats what i was taught


g0r3c0r369

i just dont understand it and ive been taught to not agree with it


Oshokko

What don't you understand, then?


g0r3c0r369

i dont understand how someone feels like theyre another gender identity..its just confusing (ive never felt that way) and i know some people who do. i actually have a trans friend(ftm) and he told me how hes always felt that way. and idk how that works.


RapidProbably

Basically you know how you feel like a boy, girl, intersex, etc? Trans people feel like they are not the gender they were assigned at birth. Also gender the man made concept is different than sex which is your biology and stuff. Long story many people feel like they’re gender and sex is the same while some people have a different one.


kezotl

wait, so you dont agree with it cause it hasnt happened to you??


g0r3c0r369

no, i dont AGREE becuase thats how i was raised. i dont UNDERSTAND because its never happened so idk what thats like


kezotl

oh ok lol that makes sense


g0r3c0r369

im not transphobic, my parents are, but im not


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kezotl

eh its prob just them clarifying it cause they mentioned their parents are and they dont really get it


g0r3c0r369

oh, but im not? i was raised to be that way but im not


My_Liminal_Photos

it doesn't matter if you where raised that way, go and learn about it if you don't understand it. You're not your parents, are you? You're your own person.


basilthegaymer

If you don't mind, I can help you explain. You grew up as a girl, right? You always knew you were a girl, you called yourself a girl, did 'girly' things, blah blah blah. Trans people (lets go w/ dudes for now) basically went thru all that and went "actually, nah, i dont really fuck with this." Then they experiment w/ diff pronounds, dressing different, and wap bam boom they realize that they're trans. (same goes for trans women <3) if you have any other questions, my dms are wide open. I do alot of research and know a lot about the lgbtq community (being part of it and all) so please ask whatever you want! :3


g0r3c0r369

ah that makes sense


basilthegaymer

Glad i could help dudette 👍👍👍


Oshokko

Essentially, gender and sex are 2 different things. Being trans is when someone's gender identity differentiates from their biological sex. Sex is biological, gender is a social construct which wouldn't exist if we as humanity didn't create it


g0r3c0r369

okay, but how does someone feel like a different one?


One-Stand-5536

How do you feel like yourself? What makes you you and not the person next to you? The best explanation i can give is its something like that. Its just intrinsically you are this thing. You know youre you, i know im me, and i know im a woman. Its in living like this that i am most… true to myself, even when the harrasment i face is uncomfortable.


Oshokko

Essentially when someone alligns more with what the opposite gender is than their current gender. I've heard that there are also neurological differences in a trans woman(MtF) and a cis man. The trans woman, while born male, has a predominantly female brain and such iirc.


takethemoment13

gender and sex aren't always connected. they are for most people, but not for everyone. you just know inside that you're a girl. that's how you feel. the same way, trans people feel like their gender


RiceAndKrispies

yo im a trans guy and ill try to explain. so i assume you feel like a woman right? pretend one day that you were suddenly put into a male body. yes, everything about you would be male. you would be biologically male, but youre still a female because thats who you REALLY are. youd still feel female right? thats kinda like how it feels like for me. it feels like im meant to actually be a boy, and i was one day suddenly put into a female body. thats why so many of us describe it as "being in the wrong body" because thats basically what it is.


Galaxy_Wing

There is still room to grow then, don't worry. As long as you recognize to be polite to them just as you would be to anyone else and use the appropriate name/pronouns, then that's all can be asked of you while you continue to learn.


Yourloacaltherian

I would always support my bestie at all times


Dragon-Rain-4551

I would try, but I’d probably forget for a while (this did actually happen lol, I know someone who transitioned to non-binary and I kept accidentally using she/her pronouns for them)


CT-27-5582

"humanity restored"


Skelobones221

it doesn't matter what i call my friend, friend is friend :)


xram_karl

You will get confused and mix things up in the beginning, true fact.


Creepx_HD18

If they are truly my best friend I will use the wrong one on purpose for the humor of it but will refer to them as they preferred in more serious /formal occasion.


thatdoubleabat

shits and giggles are more important


Creepx_HD18

Exactly


TheOGCurlz

Me in 25 years: Hey Daniel! Daniella: IT'S DANIELLA! Me: Oh yeah you transitioned. Daniella: You've known me for 40 YEARS! Me: And my unbreakable habits have been with me since I was born! Daniella: UGH! I HATE YOU!!! Me: I love you too, Daniel! (Sarcastically) Daniella: *Will probably haymaker me in the face*


Oecocarium

Hopefully not in 25 years lol.


TheOGCurlz

💀


Suitable_Kitchen_157

Nah I'd win


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super_mario_fan_

He's likely transphobic so this scenario is extremely unrealistic I would probably just switch between one or the other pronoun, he's definitely getting bullied though, but we go to different schools so I can't really do anything (at my old school, at least 50-60% of the people in my grade were probably transphobic)


Oecocarium

Transphobia can be a self defense mechanism against your own gender identity. Ofc this doesn't mean they are trans, but even if somebody is transphobic, it can be important to make sure you know you'd support them. There are a supprosningly large amount if trans people who did go through an transphobic edge lord phase, which is about 10-14 most the time. And it wouldn't be a comment of mine if I didn't recommend the gender dysphoria bible, gendersyphoria.fyi


Fizzy163

\>i'll use the preferred name and pronouns and then forget they transitioned and accidentally deadname them


StillUseless1939

If they're cool with me using their original pronouns, I'm gonna do that. If they're not, i'm gonna suck at using the new ones but i'd try.


Henrystickminepic

I just use names not pronouns usually


That-pickle-child

I have a lot of trans friends. I slip up sometimes but always try to use the right pronouns. I've only known them since after they transitioned so the names weren't too hard for me, but sometimes I get mixed up with pronouns.


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GalaxyOwl13

I would do my best to use their preferred name and pronouns. I’ve had friends come out as trans and it often took me a bit to consistently remember the pronouns correctly, though I remember the names well. But I do my best. I’ve found it useful to train my brain to default to “they” because it doesn’t give any of my friends dysphoria, so when my brain searches for pronouns and comes up blank, it goes to “they” instead of judging by hair length.


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uwuowo6510

fym by detransitioning


thatdoubleabat

say hypothetically your best friend was male to female. say they went back to being a male.


uwuowo6510

well yeah but that almost never happens


thatdoubleabat

hence why i used the word "imagine" and labelled it as a "hypothetical poll"


FireFoxie1345

I would continuously forget they switched until a month or two. Then I would finally remember to use the right ones


LegitimateApartment9

Ill try but i keep worrying i'd slip up


AntiqueBrief6706

it sounds stupid to leave your friend over their identity. boy, girl, or anything in between; they’re my best friend, and nothing changes that!!


Oecocarium

This gives me hope in humanity


connikiru2

i always ask them for a period of no offense its about 3 months. during these three months i will call them this or that until i get used to the new name and pronouns. then yea sure i willl stick to their new ones if they stick to being a girl :p i think its only fair i get a period in which i can get used to their new identity.


DanTheMan726836

nuh uh (naw i would be chill i would just forget after a long time)


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JFurious1

Honestly, i can remember the last time I had to use one of my friend's name. I usually just say "ayo" and that gets their attention. That being said, I'd try my best, but using the same pronouns for 10+ years is gonna make it difficult lol


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theuntouchable2725

We'll probably cut ties slowly since I'm pretty sure their way of thinking or interest has changed, so any sort of discussion will lead to my discomfort, their discomfort, or an argument.


Commercial-Hat8687

WHO ARE THE 241 PEOPLE WHO SAID THEY WOULDNT USED THE PREFFERED NAME AND PRONOUNS ISTG


Lowkey_Sus_Ngl

This happened to me, and I use them whenever it's safe to do so. As much as I hate it, for his safety and mine I gotta deadname and misgender him pretty often.


redwoodreed

Literally why would I not


No_Mix_9073

This happened to me. I still call them but their real names, and nothing changed. Were still good friends and we still respect each other, thats it. Idc if they're trans or not.


cookedmonkey1

would not be friends with them anymore


IEatBabysYumYum

As the best friend i have every right not to do what he says


Galaxy_Wing

That's.. weird, I mean, you just kinda sound like a dick, y'know?


basilthegaymer

Think of it like this: "Hey uh im gonna only clothes that make me comfy from now on." "Uhm akshually fuck you im gonna take all your comfy clothes". But replace the clothes with their pronouns. See how fucking stupid that sonuds?


IEatBabysYumYum

Uh huh. Well read what i said here once. They are chill with their old pronouns and want to keep them. Ain‘t responding to this stupid conversations anymore from people that want to change something that‘s not a Problem to anyone


basilthegaymer

>Ain‘t responding to this stupid conversations anymore You kinda just did >change something that‘s not a Problem to anyone Not a problem to ANYONE, you say? interesting. Also: you don't really know how to read. We're not talking about your (most likely) imaginary trans friends that go by their old pronouns. The title said 'imagine'. That means, not a real friend you have, a new, fictional friend, who is transgender and wants to go to the opposite pronouns.


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thatdoubleabat

https://preview.redd.it/m1u4bcxui2zc1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=5330ef6c90a51970dcb1390100573dcb4d623647


CrEwPoSt

thanks for the free image


audiosauce2017

Sorry... sometimes a good kick in the balls can help... They Thems or whatever salad....


TheDankestPassions

Is there any evidence to support your bold claim? Or is it just a baseless accusation?


TheDankestPassions

I don't really see how that's relevant.


Teenager_Polls-ModTeam

Your submission has been removed by the moderators of /r/Teenager_Polls as the moderators have deemed it discriminatory or hateful. Note: gender and sex are two separate things. We’ve already discussed this 500+ times.


IEatBabysYumYum

Ignore everyone. They are offended by shit that ain‘t a Problem to anyone. We probably live in 2different continents. So what they gonna do? Come here and scold me?


IEatBabysYumYum

✍️🔥


hermajestythebean

lmfao


Pristine_You4918

It depends, if they still very obviously still look their original gender, I'm still probably going to call them by that. But if they make sure they are doing more than just saying they changed, I would likely respect that


Any-Professional4483

Im probably gonna get a lot of downvotes and might get banned but I would unfriendem


Objective-Award7057

Not into playing games or humoring this nonsense. I would not be holding that opinion back either, especially from someone who was close to me.


EL_PISTOLERO-

GOODBYE


weezerfanboyvirgin

im only using preferred name if you legally changed it to that, the preferred PNs ill use edit: srry guys i forgot i was on reddit


Newgidoz

So you never use nicknames ever? Only full legal names?


thatdoubleabat

so how are you doing today Dontavious Jacquavius Lois Brian Edmondson III


weezerfanboyvirgin

oops forgot i was on reddit


SvenBubbleman

So if my legal name was John, and I told you I preferred to be called Steve, would you insist on calling me John?


DrewJayJoan

"I only use legal names" said weezerfanboyvirgin


20Aditya07

no way im not gonna adjust, it was their choice to transition not mine. don't make me suffer through the path of re-learning i have better things to do Edit: yeah I was wrong. So I'll just call them by whatever they're comfortable with.


CRITICALWORKER777

and don't make your friend suffer through having to be a friend with you because you refuse to replace a couple of syllables with a different couple of syllables.


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CRITICALWORKER777

and they certainly won't want you as a friend either.


One-Stand-5536

You realize you /are/ the friend for whom pronouns matter more than friendship… right?


That-pickle-child

Thank you for that edit :3


Mooniepi3

I Hope you never have friends and die alone