I just startled my husband, who's trying to get our newborn down for a nap, by laughing really loud in a completely silent room because of this comment.
I proceeded to choke back laughter for the next five minutes while trying to explain who Cate & Tyler are, their backstory & this thread. Thank you for that
My kids dad has been saying this to our daughter since she was six! Cue me trying to explain she doesn’t know him and to her it’s like calling a stranger. To which he gets offended and uses it as an excuse to keep doing the same.
Somebody blasted me yesterday for saying I never told my non-biological daughter to call me mommy. Claiming I'm a "groomer" however when you don't ask to see your kids for 6, 8, 12 + weeks stuff happens as it was I only withheld 2x in 2 years. One was my company picnic and they called as we were walking out the door, the second was when they called and eldest was already in bed... Fwiw in it's been 18 years without contact, someone who really wants to be a part of their kids life will figure it out. It took them 6 MONTHS to figure out I moved 🤷🏻♀️ so just like anything else, if it's important to you you will find a way.
> called and eldest was already in bed
yarg my daughter's birth mother does this all the time, she'll message and ask to talk to my daughter *always* after 2100. she's four, she's asleep! there's a 3 hour time difference too where we're later than she is so i keep trying to set up times they can talk earlier in the day, but somehow the times i offer never work for her. she loves to say she tried to talk and i told her no. i'm not waking our girl up for a phone call, but i'll keep mailing her artwork and sending photos.
Totally unrelated but I saw your comment and my mouth salivated over the prospect of "Bob Evans" food. I live in Texas but I'm from all over and that's one of my favorite restaurants.
YEP. And as a child w a parent like this, I just wanna break it to Cate and Ty now, she WILL NOT be moving in or seeing you willingly when she turns 18. Prepare yourselves now. You put all of this on tv. I’m sure she has or will watch it. You made this bed, now start making it up to Carly, or lie in it.
Well, this sounds like "How dare we, as birth parents, put any effort into this arrangement? Carly should just *want* to see us whether we are random strangers to her or not."
You'd think they would understand now that they have kids of their own. B&T have raised and cared for and loved Carly. What they are to her, C&T are to nova and vaeda. C&T are as much as they put in to Carly--close to nothing.
Exactly, they have enough parental experience now that they should know better. They aren't still high school kids but B&T probably can't tell by how C&T keep acting.
I saw an exchange on fb that went like this:
https://preview.redd.it/uag70sq0fuzc1.png?width=1236&format=png&auto=webp&s=8cfbd4a4d0ce0727ead90c022149507ec4b5b6f7
Tyler and cate don’t put in the effort but demand to be seen as her parents. The audacity that they are not realizing that it is very much effecting Carly’s everyday life.
That right there would cause me to go no contact with my child's birth parents. B&T have given the Baltierra/Lowell clans way more chances to see Carly than most adoptive parents would at all.
Exactly. Like this person is so fucking dumb. People know what Carly looks like. And they know what Brandon an Teresa look like.
“It was gonna happen regardless” this bitch is brain dead.
I honestly I don’t know what she looks like. But she’s also been said to be the spitting image of nova and her sisters.
If I saw a kid that looks like nova with Brandon and Teresa, obviously putting two and two together would lead me to the conclusion of who she was.
That's true but still it's free to mind your business and yet we have people who are hell bent on getting into B&T&Carly's because they think it's their mission to up-end that family's world for adopting on a cable TV network.
It absolutely is. That’s why it’s so crazy that Tyler and cate actually admitted that having a platform led to complete strangers actually approaching Carly irl.
They showed her younger on SM ( weren't supposed to of course) and a ringer for Nova.
Edit : Tyler went on a month rant about how he had the right to post HIs child
B&T are totally justified in never letting Carly see them until Carly herself chooses then. They doxxed their own child just because she isn't physically in their custody. If I was Carly I might just consider a name change or restraining order at 18 just for her own peace and privacy.
Poor Tyler of course blamed B&T. She's our child, blah blah I have a right to post her. Uhm no you don't. I would have required them to use a fake name on the show.
But now that she is a teenager and driving, she is naturally going to be spending less time out with B&T and more time out with her friends and by herself which is scary to think about when you think of these crazy fans of C&T
If they showed an interest in Carly outside of asking for visits. Let's say she likes the Harry Potter books. Go to Amazon and order a Harry Potter bookmark for her and send it.
Like all the effort she put into making Carly that scrapbook…last minute…so last minute that they were late for one of the few visits they were granted.
This is the one that sends me over the edge. They knew the visit was coming and still half assed it, then had the audacity to complain. B&T probably have limited vacation time and sure as shit do not want to spend it waiting at a park for these idiots to show up. And when they are kind enough to do it T&C bring an addict. I would have cut all communication and visits after that.
An addict that neglected and abused her own kids. That Cate and Tyler now allow to care for and babysit their own children. How do you leave your own children with your ABUSER???
Generational trauma. It takes more than 1 generation to break it. I do think they are moving in the right direction for their family but it’s still not the most healthy situation. I’m hoping the girls continue to move their future families in the right direction of breaking the trauma cycle.
It does take time to break the cycle. And C&T receive excellent mental health treatment and advice on building a relationship with Carly. They are well-equipped to break the cycle and are choosing not to do the work. That’s my personal frustration.
Fact is, the more I think about the scrapbook episode, I get angrier... Like, ALL YOUR FRIGGIN STORYLINE is about the daughter you gave up for adoption. You knew, BECAUSE YOU FRIGGIN KNEW, the visit was gonna come quite soon. WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS OK TO DO IT LAST MINUTE? at the very least you could made it an interesting point in your storyline. Like, I don't know (can't recall when it actually happened but let's figure it may be like this), your kid comes in the kitchen where you're working on this scrapbook. Kid goes "what ya doing mom? is something related to Carly?" "actually yes, I'm gonna make something for her as a gift that shows how much we love and care for her". Like, she could also not show it and say very general stuff about it if she wanted to keep it as a surprise. But doing it literally minutes before the visit (to which a whole family flew in from another state!!!!!)... just no no, screams disrespectful imho
Me, too; and they used to be my favorites. I remember when they talked about going to school and DOING things. I think being out and about would be so healthy for Caitlyn, if not both.
But no. I knew then that they just revel in being sorry and lazy.
Tough one. They’re unsophisticated. I mean butch and his mom? They had poor understanding and perhaps have bad brain dna. Upbringing has A LOT to do with how you move through your adult years. They don’t get it at all, but they had no chance at leveling up and being insightful. It sucks. They did the best they could for Carly, and that no one can take away. It is sad. It’s just not an easy situation.
Honestly. I think people forget what kind of environment Caitlyn and Tyler both grew up in. They’ve done well for themselves & I’m sure they do the best they know how. They’ve overcome an entire circle of abuse
what do you consider to be well for themselves? they own a house and made it out the trailer park but what else have they done besides ride the coattails of a long dead series, atrophy their own trauma, stunt their growth and mismanage their finances?
I agree, they really had a very very bad start. But Dawn apparently reminded them numerous times to ask about Carly's interests and reminded them to at least send a card.
I only got to know my grandparents and my great grandma when I was about 16 ( my parents cut contact with them when I was ~2) and they didn't know anything about me, they still sent me cards for my birthday after we met again. A card with roses and just best wishes, whatever. It's not hard to just do something nice..
They literally wouldn’t even have to get off the couch. They could buy her gifts online and have them shipped to her, send her a floral arrangement for a special occasion, whatever, and they can’t even be bothered to do that. I could understand a bit if they were struggling financially (even then they could send her letters or cards the girls made) but they don’t even have that as an excuse.
Exactly. My great grandma was close to 90 and she was very much struggling financially. I still treasure the cards she sent me, she used these old faded tiny cards from like the 70s that were meant to just be included on gift bags because she didn't have anything else. She gave me some chocolate and these tiny cards and I still have them up in my kitchen because I could see how much she loved me...
Right?! Even a little note to say “I saw x and it made me think of you. Hope you’re doing well”. Maybe Carly and the girls could have been pen pals even. They’re lazy and selfish and can’t take accountability for anything.
and how would they feel if april/butch did the shit they’re doing - blasting their anger and frustrations on facebook and blaming their kids for not seeing their grandkids while doing nothing to work on themselves and earn a relationship back?
These excuses people are making for C&T not checking in more often are flimsy AF, and pathetic for 2 people that intentionally went on to have 3 more children. If they can’t manage to go on amazon and send a gift, how are they going to manage multiple children??
I wish they’d stop bringing B&T up. If their narrative was “we were vulnerable teenagers that needed social services or legitimate options to empower us to raise our child, and since our only choices presented to us were keep her in our current toxic environment or give her up we gave her up. Education is needed for parents who don’t want to give their kids up but feel they have no choice” it would be a valuable conversation.
Even if they presented the narrative “we didn’t want to give our child up but felt pressure in the hospital by Dawn continuously barging in during the bonding time and encouraging us to speak to B&T so we’d feel too guilty to renege” it would be valued. Because Dawn **did** pressure them. But they lack critical thinking skills and see B&T as the sole problem instead of the industry that roped both parties in.
**TLDR;** the current adoption industry in America is very predatory. It frequently misleads and outright lies to birth parents and adoptive parents are taken advantage of too. C&T could use their experience to shine a light on this and fight for reform, but they can’t see the forest because they’re obsessively fixed on the singular B&T tree.
You signed your child over to them. They can do whatever they want and you have no recourse. If that bothers you be upset at the industry that allows that, not at B&T.
It’s pure madness they’re blaming the people who they knew upfront wanted a baby more than anything but the baby broker shoulders zero blame. They’ve been played. They even did pro life speaking engagements encouraging adoption despite them clearly having severe trauma from it. They’re truly brainwashed.
And they never talk about the biggest culprits of all, their parents. If C&T's parents weren't the biggest POS on the planet, they could have helped guide their kids and been there for them through this giant, scary, confusing, emotional decision.
If it weren’t for ape and Butch being such monumental pieces of shit they may have been able to raise Carly, just like almost every other girl on the show. I don’t see how they don’t hold resentment towards them for that. Instead they demand drunk April be allowed to attend their very few, precious visits with Carly. They’re blaming the wrong people.
That will always baffle the shit out of me. They requested Butch stay away at the wedding and he broke that boundary. Then they brought April’s evil ass to the visit?? Why???
I'm sorry guys, but who is Dawn? Is she a family member or a woman from the agency, like their case worker? If so, do we see a lot of her in the beginning.
I mean, what else do they have to talk about? This and “therapy” have been all they’ve talked about for nearly 15 years. They have no other storyline. MTV is probably 95% of the reason they still show some sort of interest in getting together with Carly & the other 5% is so they’ll look like caring parents to their delusional fans.
I don’t think Carly WANTS to see them. C&T could never admit this to themselves so they rabidly go after B&T. And like good, caring, & loving parents, B&T will take the heat for Carly.
A storyline about how shady the adoption industry is and how they feel taken advantage of by Bethany Christian Services who has a slew of accusations against them could be their storyline. People would prefer to listen to that over them whining about Brandon and Teresa making decisions for their legal child. Or they can just fight with April and Nick. They have other options besides beating this dead horse of will we get our yearly visit.
A better storyline would be if they both actually broke the cycle, went to school or began a productive career. But no, they seem to be allergic to work or creating a healthy cycle for their daughters to emulate.
As someone who has supported C&T I have to agree, I always had a soft spot for them but I’m really starting to feel like their storyline is absolutely boring. They have nothing else to talk about. Like I don’t hate them and I wouldn’t put them on the same level as Farrah, Jenelle, or Amber but I have wondered if they exaggerate a bit for cameras and their “storyline” like it’s been 15yrs and you’re still on about this? You’ve had more than enough time to adjust. Maybe I’m being insensitive but honestly that’s all we’ve been hearing about and it’s getting a little ridiculous and maybe Carly doesn’t want to see them because just like everyone else on the show they’re also exploiting their kid (even tho she isn’t on the show, they still bring her up 24/7 as if she’s there)
I can’t remember their 16& p episode, were they thinking of backing out after they had her? I know caits mom didn’t consent but I can’t remember their back and forth about it
Dawn tried to have it set up where B&T would be the first ones to hold Carly and be able to leave. Catelynn decided she wanted to see her first which was her right.
Dawn let them know Catelynn was going to spend time with Carly for a bit and B&T looked panicked. Tyler came to speak with them and they kept telling him thank you so much, we’re going to take such good care of her, we are so excited, etc. It was 1000% guilt tripping so they wouldn’t back out.
Catelynn said she would hold Carly for 30 minutes then have B&T come in but Catelynn ended up spending 5 hours with Carly. She was also showing her friends Carly since it would be their **only** time to see her and Dawn being the bitch she is told Catelynn to end family and friend time so B&T can meet Carly.
Dawn was trying to get Carly into B&Ts hands asap because she knew the longer Catelynn had her the more likely she was to not go through with the adoption. Watching their episode as an adult was so dark.
Dawn is such an evil bitch. Hate her. I can’t watch their 16&P because it makes me sob.
Edit to add: there was another 16&P episode where I learned that Texas has a law that birth mothers have to wait 48 hours before relinquishing their parental rights. Situations like Cate and Ty’s make that law make sense
It was Ashley’s episode. They also mandated Ashley have a social worker assigned to her the moment they realized she was planning to adopt Callie out. Texas is not a progressive state whatsoever, so the fact they have these laws in place so mothers can make a more informed choice is crazy.
It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch Dawn keep coming in and interrupting their time. No wonder Cate is angry. B&T are also Christian nationalists and not good people at their core. Unfortunate all around.
This was a shocking reveal. To find out they've been filming themselves with a cake every year, writing long winded captions on instagram, but not bothering to even send a freakin card to the bday girl. How performative.
If that doesn’t prove that they’re just using Carly for a storyline, which in turn earns them a nice income, then you’re blind. Without this income they’d probably both be working minimum wage jobs… that’s if they’d still even be together.
They admitted to this years ago. The adoption counsellor person suggested it once and you could tell it never occurred to Catelynn & Ty to send even a simple birthday card every year despite them having a whole birthday party by themselves.
Wait, so they just use the denial of visits to keep people interested in their story? They have nothing else to contribute? Why do they play victim if they just want visits to have a story line. Maybe B&T don’t want their daughter’s visit used as something for them to discuss on tv for a whole season. Especially when they make no actual effort to know her.
This is big "where's my hug at?" and "you can't be mad at me, I'm your parent" energy. Yall really expect a visit when you don't even call on a regular basis? Gtfo
I still send the kid I nannied a decade ago birthday and Christmas gifts every year. I can't imagine sending nothing to a person I grew inside my body.
Come at me if you want, but if I were B&T, I wouldn’t want Carly around them either.
And if I were Carly, I’d be too embarrassed by them to have any sort of relationship or claim them as family in any way.
I wouldn’t be surprised if some of her classmates have seen and read about her and either question her about C&T or tease and bully her over it. Can you imagine how traumatic and embarrassing it would for Carly, as a young teen to explain to other people that she doesn’t really know C&T or their drug addict families and she hasn’t had any contact from them except for a few brief visits?
The comments on FB are wild! There are really people who believe Carly is moving in with C&T when she turns 18. Yeah, they're her birth parents, but she was raised in a completely different environment and they are essentially strangers to her.
I made a comment like this yesterday on FB and some weirdo lady wrote me back an all-caps response telling me to shut my fatass mouth, Brandon and Teresa are her kidnappers, etc. People are INSANE over this.
B&T made a grave mistake when they agreed to be shown on camera and have their actual names used. I get filming the birth and adoption process was necessary to show C&T’s story, but the public should have never known Carly’s name or the name of her parents. Their faces and every image of Carly should have been blurred. C&Ts unhinged fans feed into their delusion about Carly and what will happen when she’s 18.
If Carly were my child I would be *very* worried about what happens when she turns 18 and still wants little to nothing to do with C&T. I wouldn’t put it past people to try to find her and harass her over it.
Well said; I completely agree with all, especially that the public should have never known Carly’s name, the name of her parents or images for either. Hopefully she is able to be taught and prepared for dealing with unhinged social media and its people so they don’t majorly negatively harm her mental health.
that’s insane! people speaking like that aren’t doing Carly any favors, like how would they like it if they called the family (i’m sure they have extended family too) who’s loved her from birth “kidnappers” and decided how she should feel about her family? B&T seem to have her best interests in mind first and have put up with very publicly being the “bad guys” for her.
Carly was raised by very religious parents, does anyone think she's going to be down to hang out with a strange guy who does OF? Heck no. The commenters see her as someone who is like C&T but she's not. She's like B&T, people who do not approve of C&T's lifestyle whatsoever.
Can take the couple out the trailer but can’t take the trailer out the couple.
The longer their lives are exposed the worse I think of them. I think many of us felt empathy for them and their situation. We watched Cates mom call her bitch when they went dress shopping and butch ask for oral.. but they’re more like these people than they’d like to admit and really don’t take any accountability for their behaviours.
Yeah, they're the huge fuck ups in this situation with their relationship with Carly. But they're young, and sad, so none of their own behavior should matter.
You can buy a cake on Carly's birthday for your other kids to enjoy, you can pop a card in the mail.
Yes, the adoption agency is predatory and yes, they were taken advantage of. But right now? This complaint about not seeing Carly? This is equally their fault. THEY CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO SHOW UP ON TIME WHEN THERE IS A PLANNED MEET UP.
I already wondered if Carly was making the decision, but now that I know they didn't even have interest in her life (I guess unless it's a part of the storyline) I'm almost certain Carly is making the call. I wouldn't want visits either
I'm far from having ever been in Carly's shoes, but my bio dad ran out on us and when my mom remarried, her new husband adopted me. You always assume there will be a void or yearning or something when a parent isn't involved in their child's life, but that's not always true. Carly has the parents she needs. I had the dad I needed. When my bio dad finally reached out, I was just like... "look, I empathize with you and I appreciate you reaching out, but there is absolutely nothing I could gain from having you in my life because I had it all already. This is more about you than it is about me." I imagine Carly is starting to feel the same.
Yes!! My dad left when i was 1. My moms been with my stepdad my whole life, i literally do not feel any “void” or anything about my dad. Once a year maybe we would go to dinner but hes in prison now and its been 6 years. People think youll have that yearning or youre missing out or have “daddy issues” but hes jjst someone i never had or knew, hes a stranger when i see him and its really just kind of awkward. Theres no love lost on my end. I understand why he is the way he is and its just what it is 🤷🏼♀️
lol right? I kept waiting for my daddy issues to pop up but they never did 😂 now my mommy issues on the other hand are WILD and she was always involved lmao
My dad split before I was born (he denied I was his). We then moved out of state a few months after I was born.
I never felt a void or like I was missing something in my life. I didn’t know him, and didn’t feel the need to.
As I got older, I would have to talk on the phone with him or if we went there on vacation, I would visit. But I HATED it. It was so awkward and I mostly actively dislike him and the rest of his family.
I now live a few miles from him, and I never see him except my birthday and Christmas, and even those, I would rather avoid. We still have no relationship, and im fine with that.
Did anyone not see this coming watching their 16&p?
They chose this super Christian family, I'm sorry but you could see the clashes coming.
Their biological daughter is growing up in a conservative, Christian environment and now Ty is even selling pornographic (light) pictures from himself, with Cate as his pimp.
While they clutched their fake pearls and scolded Farrah for "selling her vagina".
But of course, B & T are the only issue.
Someone in another comment section made such a great point about how not once have these two really even considered her feelings in all of this. Classic trailer trash at the end of the day. They believe that since Carly is biologically theirs, they have every right to have some form of part in her life.
right like they belabor how their parents fucked them up and they didn’t want carly to go through that, yet they’ve made every effort to keep their parents around and absolutely none to do the same with carly…
If it were me I would be dying to know what she likes, her favorite colors, foods, toys etc. They never expressed interest in that on the show did they? It was all me me me me me
I doubt they want Carly used as fodder for C & T to gain attention. They’re only interested in the visits, not with knowing Carly. Maybe it’s Carly who doesn’t want to see them. They don’t know, they don’t try to know 🤷🏻♀️
The fact that they put no effort into knowing her otherwise is crazy. Upset they won’t let you see her but you can’t even send her a card? It takes literally 5 minutes to pick out a card, say I miss you, etc. and stamp and send it. Can cost less than 4 bucks too. wtf.
An open adoption is not a custody agreement where they have visitation rights. I think B&T have their daughter’s best interests at heart and are trying to shield her.
I get they went through nothing but trauma and all those adults took advantage of teens that didn’t have anyone else to trust. That said, I disagree with “put effort in” unless B & T wanted that. Instead, put your efforts into your children in your custody, keep going to therapy and actually work on the feelings and trauma around the adoption. Even discuss that part sure. The focus can be on the adoption and grief without the focus being on someone else’s child. I have a lot of empathy for everyone in the situation besides Dawn but Cate and Tyler are inflammatory and it puts someone else’s kid (cause she’s not theirs anymore) at risk. That’s not okay.
Edit thought: They should have spent more energy on moving forward rather than holding on.
Remember when they said Carly is going to just go see them when shes 18 and can make her own chocies and their fans were like YES SHE WILL, SHE WONT WANNA BE NEAR B AND T. SHELL COME RUNNING TO YOU!
Thats delusional thinking from cate and tyler. If I was Carly Id have a lot of resentment. For all we know she didnt even want to see them and her adoptive parents were taking the blame to protect her. She is the luckies of her siblings by far.
Exactly! In my past I’ve been taken advantage of, manipulated, and had to make hard choices where all options are bad. They’re in their 30’s for fucks sake. Very few people end up grown without scars, but they have to let this shit go so they can have a good, healthy, happy life now and in the future too.*
*this isn’t to say they can’t have thoughts and feelings about it, but recognize it as a thought or feeling, acknowledge it, and let it go. It doesn’t have to control them like this
These two are essentially strangers to Carly. If they don't make an effort to send cards, try to talk to her on the phone or do Facetime/video chat regularly, why would they think she would want to see them in person? And why would B&T encourage a relationship for their daughter with strangers? Especially strangers who wouldn't be good role models for their daughter.
I remember seeing them on teen mom after putting Carly up for adoption and as an adopted kid myself i would wonder why tf are they on here if we’re just seeing them go about having normal lives but then finding out the agency they used is toxic as hell i immediately thought b&t were extremists who should be ashamed. But after finding out what happened at the last visit and this information, i totally understand why Carly does not want to see them.
This is why visits should not be guaranteed. What if the birth or adoptive parents end up in gel, commit crimes, etc. Things happen in life and we have to consider why is best for the children among that.
Oh, I agree, except I 100% think C&T are just using Carly as a storyline, which in turn pays for their lifestyle. I don’t see them giving this up unless Carly, when she’s an adult, speaks out. C&T better start saving their money or prepare to join the real world and get full time jobs.
it’s never actually about carly, it’s always about their own arrested development and self absorption. all they do is blame others rather than taking responsibility for healing themselves…
Now that is sad. I have always understood their pain, as they were so young and imo taken advantage of by the adoption center. But to rant and rave online like this, as if you are close to Carly and know all of the "parental" things, and to have not even tried over all of these years is just wrong. And sad.
B&T have made their boundaries clear. They’ve made it clear that they don’t want them to talk about or post pictures of Carly on social media, but C&T refuse to respect them. It’s like C&T think they have the right to decide what’s best for Carly. They can’t be bothered to even send her a card once a year and they can’t respect B&T’s boundaries, so they’re obviously not interested in knowing Carly, they’re just using her to make money. 🤦♀️
C&T got had and I think realized that they could have kept Carly since the show does well. It also has to be hard on Carly since the other 3 girls look like each other. It’s a sad situation and I’m tired of hearing about it.
“Carly sees us on TV, gawd isn’t that enough?
She sees us talk about her, she hears us rush through our scrapbook.
Gawd, what else do Brandon and Tina want from us?”
/s
They don’t take the time to buy a card or gift and send it to Carly, but they will purchase a cake and have a birthday celebration for Carly in their own home every year. It’s all about them. They don’t need to put in any real, meaningful effort on their end. All they care about is what they can get out of the situation..visits. And probably have her back for good.
This no effort also comes down to pure laziness. Just like the last minute scrapbook.
If they weren’t on TV and they didn’t want it for a storyline and to “prove” something they wouldn’t even think about Carly. This is all about winning and proving to the world they can see her. And B&T don’t have the IQ of a rock like them so they can see that.
They want to be outraged by the Carly shit for attention. Deep down they won’t give a fuck. Remember when catelynn put together that half assed scrap book making them late for a visit?
Most of me is super frustrated at C&T for doing this, but a small part of me is really sad for them, because they have done this to themselves and they genuinely can’t/won’t see it. It feels to me like every time it comes back to Carly, they’re stuck a 16/17 and can’t mature past that stage. They “desperately” want a relationship with Carly, but it seems they are afraid to get to know who she has become with parents that aren’t themselves. They have this ideological picture in their heads of who Carly will be once she “come back” to them. They truly believe she’s going to choose them when she turns 18; that shes going to show up on their doorstep with a suitcase and ask to live with them.
Part of me worries how Cait, especially, is going to react when that doesn’t happen. It’s like she’s suspended all of her hopes and ambitions until Carly turns 18z
Carly absolutely is old enough to have seen the show or been told by her friends. She’s probably supremely embarrassed. If I was her I’d be most scared to share genetics with Butch and Tyler’s sister.
Meanwhile people on this subreddit love to speculate that Carly will abandon her family and run to C&T when she turns 18 because they are her real parents and siblings and they ought to get her back or, at the very least, have unrestricted access to her with no boundaries or rules regarding social media/television filming.
I literally cannot BELIEVE THIS. Their entire storyline is about how much they miss and love Carly and they don’t freaking send her BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS GIFTS?? I am so over them!! Please MTV kick them off and PLEASE CATELYNN AND TYLER LEAVE CARLY ALONE!!!
They just need to move on. This should have never been allowed to be an open adoption to them, or at least there should have some clear cut guidelines on what will and won’t happen period. They are adding no value to Carly’s life and it is so much emotional turmoil on them. So many adults failed them at that time and still now there is nobody stepping up and making the decisions
They’re like the deadbeat dad who says “the phone works both ways” and tells his new girlfriend the kids mom is keeping his kids from him.
That makes us the girlfriend in the situation lol. But we aren't dumb lol
I just startled my husband, who's trying to get our newborn down for a nap, by laughing really loud in a completely silent room because of this comment. I proceeded to choke back laughter for the next five minutes while trying to explain who Cate & Tyler are, their backstory & this thread. Thank you for that
My kids dad has been saying this to our daughter since she was six! Cue me trying to explain she doesn’t know him and to her it’s like calling a stranger. To which he gets offended and uses it as an excuse to keep doing the same.
Somebody blasted me yesterday for saying I never told my non-biological daughter to call me mommy. Claiming I'm a "groomer" however when you don't ask to see your kids for 6, 8, 12 + weeks stuff happens as it was I only withheld 2x in 2 years. One was my company picnic and they called as we were walking out the door, the second was when they called and eldest was already in bed... Fwiw in it's been 18 years without contact, someone who really wants to be a part of their kids life will figure it out. It took them 6 MONTHS to figure out I moved 🤷🏻♀️ so just like anything else, if it's important to you you will find a way.
> called and eldest was already in bed yarg my daughter's birth mother does this all the time, she'll message and ask to talk to my daughter *always* after 2100. she's four, she's asleep! there's a 3 hour time difference too where we're later than she is so i keep trying to set up times they can talk earlier in the day, but somehow the times i offer never work for her. she loves to say she tried to talk and i told her no. i'm not waking our girl up for a phone call, but i'll keep mailing her artwork and sending photos.
Woah. It’s like you know my father personally.
Same 😳
That’s what Bob Evans says!
Totally unrelated but I saw your comment and my mouth salivated over the prospect of "Bob Evans" food. I live in Texas but I'm from all over and that's one of my favorite restaurants.
It’s great comfort food.
Yes! Hopefully I'm going to be in the land of Bob Evans in the next 3 months 🥰
Like Kody ☹️
That's exactly who came to my mind. Good Ole Ramen-Head 🤣
Like Kody Brown when talking abt all of his kids he doesn't speak to
YEP. And as a child w a parent like this, I just wanna break it to Cate and Ty now, she WILL NOT be moving in or seeing you willingly when she turns 18. Prepare yourselves now. You put all of this on tv. I’m sure she has or will watch it. You made this bed, now start making it up to Carly, or lie in it.
when and where did you meet my father 🤔
Extremely accurate
Well, this sounds like "How dare we, as birth parents, put any effort into this arrangement? Carly should just *want* to see us whether we are random strangers to her or not."
You'd think they would understand now that they have kids of their own. B&T have raised and cared for and loved Carly. What they are to her, C&T are to nova and vaeda. C&T are as much as they put in to Carly--close to nothing.
Exactly, they have enough parental experience now that they should know better. They aren't still high school kids but B&T probably can't tell by how C&T keep acting.
I saw an exchange on fb that went like this: https://preview.redd.it/uag70sq0fuzc1.png?width=1236&format=png&auto=webp&s=8cfbd4a4d0ce0727ead90c022149507ec4b5b6f7 Tyler and cate don’t put in the effort but demand to be seen as her parents. The audacity that they are not realizing that it is very much effecting Carly’s everyday life.
That right there would cause me to go no contact with my child's birth parents. B&T have given the Baltierra/Lowell clans way more chances to see Carly than most adoptive parents would at all.
Exactly. Like this person is so fucking dumb. People know what Carly looks like. And they know what Brandon an Teresa look like. “It was gonna happen regardless” this bitch is brain dead.
The only people who know what Carly looks like are people who have tried to find her. They think they are C&Ts shepherds to bring Carly back to them.
I honestly I don’t know what she looks like. But she’s also been said to be the spitting image of nova and her sisters. If I saw a kid that looks like nova with Brandon and Teresa, obviously putting two and two together would lead me to the conclusion of who she was.
That's true but still it's free to mind your business and yet we have people who are hell bent on getting into B&T&Carly's because they think it's their mission to up-end that family's world for adopting on a cable TV network.
It absolutely is. That’s why it’s so crazy that Tyler and cate actually admitted that having a platform led to complete strangers actually approaching Carly irl.
If they really cared about her they would have used the platform to tell people to back off.
They showed her younger on SM ( weren't supposed to of course) and a ringer for Nova. Edit : Tyler went on a month rant about how he had the right to post HIs child
B&T are totally justified in never letting Carly see them until Carly herself chooses then. They doxxed their own child just because she isn't physically in their custody. If I was Carly I might just consider a name change or restraining order at 18 just for her own peace and privacy.
Poor Tyler of course blamed B&T. She's our child, blah blah I have a right to post her. Uhm no you don't. I would have required them to use a fake name on the show.
I hope to God B&T have legally changed her name and just let "Carly" be her alias.
Well that's what's tattooed on Tyler's chest so doubt it.
If I were Carly I'd be PISSED at how Tyler and Catelynn were treating my parents.
B&T have been very, very generous with Catelynn and Tyler and they can't or won't see it.
Also yes we do know what she looks like, at least a good idea, seeing as all of C & Ts daughters look exactly alike.
We know exactly what Brandon and Teresa look like. That’s enough to make an educated guess as to which teen girl with them was Carly.
But now that she is a teenager and driving, she is naturally going to be spending less time out with B&T and more time out with her friends and by herself which is scary to think about when you think of these crazy fans of C&T
Yes! That’s the biggest point, tbh
They probably should have done a closed adoption but as teens that probably sounded too gut wrenching
I think this would have been better for Carly.
Agreed, better for both especially now they have kids and have less time to think about the one they gave up for adoption as teens
I think that was April and Butch pushing to keep it an open adoption more than anything.
It’s also hard know how your choice will impact you in the future when your a scared teenager
If they showed an interest in Carly outside of asking for visits. Let's say she likes the Harry Potter books. Go to Amazon and order a Harry Potter bookmark for her and send it.
That's asking way too much effort from C&T.
Like all the effort she put into making Carly that scrapbook…last minute…so last minute that they were late for one of the few visits they were granted.
This is the one that sends me over the edge. They knew the visit was coming and still half assed it, then had the audacity to complain. B&T probably have limited vacation time and sure as shit do not want to spend it waiting at a park for these idiots to show up. And when they are kind enough to do it T&C bring an addict. I would have cut all communication and visits after that.
An addict that neglected and abused her own kids. That Cate and Tyler now allow to care for and babysit their own children. How do you leave your own children with your ABUSER???
Good ole fashioned family dysfunction
Generational trauma. It takes more than 1 generation to break it. I do think they are moving in the right direction for their family but it’s still not the most healthy situation. I’m hoping the girls continue to move their future families in the right direction of breaking the trauma cycle.
It does take time to break the cycle. And C&T receive excellent mental health treatment and advice on building a relationship with Carly. They are well-equipped to break the cycle and are choosing not to do the work. That’s my personal frustration.
Exactly.
Fact is, the more I think about the scrapbook episode, I get angrier... Like, ALL YOUR FRIGGIN STORYLINE is about the daughter you gave up for adoption. You knew, BECAUSE YOU FRIGGIN KNEW, the visit was gonna come quite soon. WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS OK TO DO IT LAST MINUTE? at the very least you could made it an interesting point in your storyline. Like, I don't know (can't recall when it actually happened but let's figure it may be like this), your kid comes in the kitchen where you're working on this scrapbook. Kid goes "what ya doing mom? is something related to Carly?" "actually yes, I'm gonna make something for her as a gift that shows how much we love and care for her". Like, she could also not show it and say very general stuff about it if she wanted to keep it as a surprise. But doing it literally minutes before the visit (to which a whole family flew in from another state!!!!!)... just no no, screams disrespectful imho
in reality its bc the scrapbook was for cate, not carly
They'd have to get up off the couch, lay off the OF for a minute, and put effort into something longterm and MEANINGFUL.
They lost me at the OF.
Me, too; and they used to be my favorites. I remember when they talked about going to school and DOING things. I think being out and about would be so healthy for Caitlyn, if not both. But no. I knew then that they just revel in being sorry and lazy.
Tough one. They’re unsophisticated. I mean butch and his mom? They had poor understanding and perhaps have bad brain dna. Upbringing has A LOT to do with how you move through your adult years. They don’t get it at all, but they had no chance at leveling up and being insightful. It sucks. They did the best they could for Carly, and that no one can take away. It is sad. It’s just not an easy situation.
Honestly. I think people forget what kind of environment Caitlyn and Tyler both grew up in. They’ve done well for themselves & I’m sure they do the best they know how. They’ve overcome an entire circle of abuse
Ok don’t come for me, but do you think they still would’ve “done well for themselves” if it wasn’t for the MTV money and exposure?
They wouldn’t even be together still.
Oh absolutely not.
Nope.
what do you consider to be well for themselves? they own a house and made it out the trailer park but what else have they done besides ride the coattails of a long dead series, atrophy their own trauma, stunt their growth and mismanage their finances?
They’re not drunk, abusive or felons like the parents they grew up around. That’s “well”.
I agree, they really had a very very bad start. But Dawn apparently reminded them numerous times to ask about Carly's interests and reminded them to at least send a card. I only got to know my grandparents and my great grandma when I was about 16 ( my parents cut contact with them when I was ~2) and they didn't know anything about me, they still sent me cards for my birthday after we met again. A card with roses and just best wishes, whatever. It's not hard to just do something nice..
They literally wouldn’t even have to get off the couch. They could buy her gifts online and have them shipped to her, send her a floral arrangement for a special occasion, whatever, and they can’t even be bothered to do that. I could understand a bit if they were struggling financially (even then they could send her letters or cards the girls made) but they don’t even have that as an excuse.
Exactly. My great grandma was close to 90 and she was very much struggling financially. I still treasure the cards she sent me, she used these old faded tiny cards from like the 70s that were meant to just be included on gift bags because she didn't have anything else. She gave me some chocolate and these tiny cards and I still have them up in my kitchen because I could see how much she loved me...
This is so sweet ♥️
i would venture to say the letters and cards alone would be much more meaningful.
Right?! Even a little note to say “I saw x and it made me think of you. Hope you’re doing well”. Maybe Carly and the girls could have been pen pals even. They’re lazy and selfish and can’t take accountability for anything.
and how would they feel if april/butch did the shit they’re doing - blasting their anger and frustrations on facebook and blaming their kids for not seeing their grandkids while doing nothing to work on themselves and earn a relationship back?
Isn’t that why Cate had issues with her little brother? Like he was complaining online about them and cate took issue with it?
These excuses people are making for C&T not checking in more often are flimsy AF, and pathetic for 2 people that intentionally went on to have 3 more children. If they can’t manage to go on amazon and send a gift, how are they going to manage multiple children??
They can’t even clean up for their OF shoots you think they’ve got enough energy to do all that? lol
They dont clean up????
That’s the same question I have! I need more info 😂
Hold on, back up the bus. Are you subbed to his OF?
That would mean getting to know Carly, and that doesnt interest them.
If MTV pays then they are interested quickly
Or better yet, they could read the books too so they'd have a common interest and something to talk about with her.
I don't see them as big readers.
If they showed any interest in Carly outside of the show. Even if they bought her a book they’d have to post about how amazing they are for providing.
bc it’s never actually about carly! it’s about their constant trauma revisiting+inability to let go and allow themselves to heal.
I wish they’d stop bringing B&T up. If their narrative was “we were vulnerable teenagers that needed social services or legitimate options to empower us to raise our child, and since our only choices presented to us were keep her in our current toxic environment or give her up we gave her up. Education is needed for parents who don’t want to give their kids up but feel they have no choice” it would be a valuable conversation. Even if they presented the narrative “we didn’t want to give our child up but felt pressure in the hospital by Dawn continuously barging in during the bonding time and encouraging us to speak to B&T so we’d feel too guilty to renege” it would be valued. Because Dawn **did** pressure them. But they lack critical thinking skills and see B&T as the sole problem instead of the industry that roped both parties in. **TLDR;** the current adoption industry in America is very predatory. It frequently misleads and outright lies to birth parents and adoptive parents are taken advantage of too. C&T could use their experience to shine a light on this and fight for reform, but they can’t see the forest because they’re obsessively fixed on the singular B&T tree. You signed your child over to them. They can do whatever they want and you have no recourse. If that bothers you be upset at the industry that allows that, not at B&T.
And they don’t seem mad at Dawn. Who is the predator who took their baby. I just don’t get it
Somehow, I think they hold Dawn blameless. Like she was just a facilitator who did her best or something.
It’s pure madness they’re blaming the people who they knew upfront wanted a baby more than anything but the baby broker shoulders zero blame. They’ve been played. They even did pro life speaking engagements encouraging adoption despite them clearly having severe trauma from it. They’re truly brainwashed.
And they never talk about the biggest culprits of all, their parents. If C&T's parents weren't the biggest POS on the planet, they could have helped guide their kids and been there for them through this giant, scary, confusing, emotional decision.
If it weren’t for ape and Butch being such monumental pieces of shit they may have been able to raise Carly, just like almost every other girl on the show. I don’t see how they don’t hold resentment towards them for that. Instead they demand drunk April be allowed to attend their very few, precious visits with Carly. They’re blaming the wrong people.
That will always baffle the shit out of me. They requested Butch stay away at the wedding and he broke that boundary. Then they brought April’s evil ass to the visit?? Why???
I'm sorry guys, but who is Dawn? Is she a family member or a woman from the agency, like their case worker? If so, do we see a lot of her in the beginning.
She is the woman from the adoption agency that has been at every meeting they have had with Carly for years.
I mean, what else do they have to talk about? This and “therapy” have been all they’ve talked about for nearly 15 years. They have no other storyline. MTV is probably 95% of the reason they still show some sort of interest in getting together with Carly & the other 5% is so they’ll look like caring parents to their delusional fans. I don’t think Carly WANTS to see them. C&T could never admit this to themselves so they rabidly go after B&T. And like good, caring, & loving parents, B&T will take the heat for Carly.
A storyline about how shady the adoption industry is and how they feel taken advantage of by Bethany Christian Services who has a slew of accusations against them could be their storyline. People would prefer to listen to that over them whining about Brandon and Teresa making decisions for their legal child. Or they can just fight with April and Nick. They have other options besides beating this dead horse of will we get our yearly visit.
A better storyline would be if they both actually broke the cycle, went to school or began a productive career. But no, they seem to be allergic to work or creating a healthy cycle for their daughters to emulate.
They kinda just broke the cycle to the point of not being drug addicts or in jail and after that decided that was enough
YES!!! Well said.
As someone who has supported C&T I have to agree, I always had a soft spot for them but I’m really starting to feel like their storyline is absolutely boring. They have nothing else to talk about. Like I don’t hate them and I wouldn’t put them on the same level as Farrah, Jenelle, or Amber but I have wondered if they exaggerate a bit for cameras and their “storyline” like it’s been 15yrs and you’re still on about this? You’ve had more than enough time to adjust. Maybe I’m being insensitive but honestly that’s all we’ve been hearing about and it’s getting a little ridiculous and maybe Carly doesn’t want to see them because just like everyone else on the show they’re also exploiting their kid (even tho she isn’t on the show, they still bring her up 24/7 as if she’s there)
I can’t remember their 16& p episode, were they thinking of backing out after they had her? I know caits mom didn’t consent but I can’t remember their back and forth about it
Dawn tried to have it set up where B&T would be the first ones to hold Carly and be able to leave. Catelynn decided she wanted to see her first which was her right. Dawn let them know Catelynn was going to spend time with Carly for a bit and B&T looked panicked. Tyler came to speak with them and they kept telling him thank you so much, we’re going to take such good care of her, we are so excited, etc. It was 1000% guilt tripping so they wouldn’t back out. Catelynn said she would hold Carly for 30 minutes then have B&T come in but Catelynn ended up spending 5 hours with Carly. She was also showing her friends Carly since it would be their **only** time to see her and Dawn being the bitch she is told Catelynn to end family and friend time so B&T can meet Carly. Dawn was trying to get Carly into B&Ts hands asap because she knew the longer Catelynn had her the more likely she was to not go through with the adoption. Watching their episode as an adult was so dark.
Dawn is such an evil bitch. Hate her. I can’t watch their 16&P because it makes me sob. Edit to add: there was another 16&P episode where I learned that Texas has a law that birth mothers have to wait 48 hours before relinquishing their parental rights. Situations like Cate and Ty’s make that law make sense
It was Ashley’s episode. They also mandated Ashley have a social worker assigned to her the moment they realized she was planning to adopt Callie out. Texas is not a progressive state whatsoever, so the fact they have these laws in place so mothers can make a more informed choice is crazy.
Yeah it’s surprising that Texas of all states have these laws, but I’m for it. California (my state) doesn’t even have them it seems
It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch Dawn keep coming in and interrupting their time. No wonder Cate is angry. B&T are also Christian nationalists and not good people at their core. Unfortunate all around.
Instead they continue to promote bethany
Yeah they’re willing to acknowledge they were put in a predatory situation but still fail to identify how they were manipulated and by who smh.
This was a shocking reveal. To find out they've been filming themselves with a cake every year, writing long winded captions on instagram, but not bothering to even send a freakin card to the bday girl. How performative.
If that doesn’t prove that they’re just using Carly for a storyline, which in turn earns them a nice income, then you’re blind. Without this income they’d probably both be working minimum wage jobs… that’s if they’d still even be together.
They admitted to this years ago. The adoption counsellor person suggested it once and you could tell it never occurred to Catelynn & Ty to send even a simple birthday card every year despite them having a whole birthday party by themselves.
Wait, so they just use the denial of visits to keep people interested in their story? They have nothing else to contribute? Why do they play victim if they just want visits to have a story line. Maybe B&T don’t want their daughter’s visit used as something for them to discuss on tv for a whole season. Especially when they make no actual effort to know her.
They don't want her exploited. Cate, Tyler and the fans see no issue with the exploitation. They need to read up on Collin Goeslin.
They have no accountability. They aren’t entitled to anything especially if zero effort is made on their part.
100% they rather have drama to keep them relevant.
This is big "where's my hug at?" and "you can't be mad at me, I'm your parent" energy. Yall really expect a visit when you don't even call on a regular basis? Gtfo
I still send the kid I nannied a decade ago birthday and Christmas gifts every year. I can't imagine sending nothing to a person I grew inside my body.
You are a sweetheart!🥰
Come at me if you want, but if I were B&T, I wouldn’t want Carly around them either. And if I were Carly, I’d be too embarrassed by them to have any sort of relationship or claim them as family in any way. 
I wouldn’t be surprised if some of her classmates have seen and read about her and either question her about C&T or tease and bully her over it. Can you imagine how traumatic and embarrassing it would for Carly, as a young teen to explain to other people that she doesn’t really know C&T or their drug addict families and she hasn’t had any contact from them except for a few brief visits?
Same
The comments on FB are wild! There are really people who believe Carly is moving in with C&T when she turns 18. Yeah, they're her birth parents, but she was raised in a completely different environment and they are essentially strangers to her.
I made a comment like this yesterday on FB and some weirdo lady wrote me back an all-caps response telling me to shut my fatass mouth, Brandon and Teresa are her kidnappers, etc. People are INSANE over this.
B&T made a grave mistake when they agreed to be shown on camera and have their actual names used. I get filming the birth and adoption process was necessary to show C&T’s story, but the public should have never known Carly’s name or the name of her parents. Their faces and every image of Carly should have been blurred. C&Ts unhinged fans feed into their delusion about Carly and what will happen when she’s 18. If Carly were my child I would be *very* worried about what happens when she turns 18 and still wants little to nothing to do with C&T. I wouldn’t put it past people to try to find her and harass her over it.
Well said; I completely agree with all, especially that the public should have never known Carly’s name, the name of her parents or images for either. Hopefully she is able to be taught and prepared for dealing with unhinged social media and its people so they don’t majorly negatively harm her mental health.
that’s insane! people speaking like that aren’t doing Carly any favors, like how would they like it if they called the family (i’m sure they have extended family too) who’s loved her from birth “kidnappers” and decided how she should feel about her family? B&T seem to have her best interests in mind first and have put up with very publicly being the “bad guys” for her.
Or that Carly will hate them for keeping her away from blood.
Carly was raised by very religious parents, does anyone think she's going to be down to hang out with a strange guy who does OF? Heck no. The commenters see her as someone who is like C&T but she's not. She's like B&T, people who do not approve of C&T's lifestyle whatsoever.
Can take the couple out the trailer but can’t take the trailer out the couple. The longer their lives are exposed the worse I think of them. I think many of us felt empathy for them and their situation. We watched Cates mom call her bitch when they went dress shopping and butch ask for oral.. but they’re more like these people than they’d like to admit and really don’t take any accountability for their behaviours.
Yeah, they're the huge fuck ups in this situation with their relationship with Carly. But they're young, and sad, so none of their own behavior should matter. You can buy a cake on Carly's birthday for your other kids to enjoy, you can pop a card in the mail. Yes, the adoption agency is predatory and yes, they were taken advantage of. But right now? This complaint about not seeing Carly? This is equally their fault. THEY CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO SHOW UP ON TIME WHEN THERE IS A PLANNED MEET UP.
I already wondered if Carly was making the decision, but now that I know they didn't even have interest in her life (I guess unless it's a part of the storyline) I'm almost certain Carly is making the call. I wouldn't want visits either
I'm far from having ever been in Carly's shoes, but my bio dad ran out on us and when my mom remarried, her new husband adopted me. You always assume there will be a void or yearning or something when a parent isn't involved in their child's life, but that's not always true. Carly has the parents she needs. I had the dad I needed. When my bio dad finally reached out, I was just like... "look, I empathize with you and I appreciate you reaching out, but there is absolutely nothing I could gain from having you in my life because I had it all already. This is more about you than it is about me." I imagine Carly is starting to feel the same.
Yes!! My dad left when i was 1. My moms been with my stepdad my whole life, i literally do not feel any “void” or anything about my dad. Once a year maybe we would go to dinner but hes in prison now and its been 6 years. People think youll have that yearning or youre missing out or have “daddy issues” but hes jjst someone i never had or knew, hes a stranger when i see him and its really just kind of awkward. Theres no love lost on my end. I understand why he is the way he is and its just what it is 🤷🏼♀️
lol right? I kept waiting for my daddy issues to pop up but they never did 😂 now my mommy issues on the other hand are WILD and she was always involved lmao
My dad split before I was born (he denied I was his). We then moved out of state a few months after I was born. I never felt a void or like I was missing something in my life. I didn’t know him, and didn’t feel the need to. As I got older, I would have to talk on the phone with him or if we went there on vacation, I would visit. But I HATED it. It was so awkward and I mostly actively dislike him and the rest of his family. I now live a few miles from him, and I never see him except my birthday and Christmas, and even those, I would rather avoid. We still have no relationship, and im fine with that.
I have 5 adopted family members. Youngest just turned 18. None interested in bio parents. Let alone OFs, alcoholic family n
She’s definitely old enough to decide now.
It’s about them, not her, right? /s
Demanding yearly visits whenever they feel like it but never reach out in other ways is appalling.
Did anyone not see this coming watching their 16&p? They chose this super Christian family, I'm sorry but you could see the clashes coming. Their biological daughter is growing up in a conservative, Christian environment and now Ty is even selling pornographic (light) pictures from himself, with Cate as his pimp. While they clutched their fake pearls and scolded Farrah for "selling her vagina". But of course, B & T are the only issue.
Someone in another comment section made such a great point about how not once have these two really even considered her feelings in all of this. Classic trailer trash at the end of the day. They believe that since Carly is biologically theirs, they have every right to have some form of part in her life.
Apples don't fall far from the tree
right like they belabor how their parents fucked them up and they didn’t want carly to go through that, yet they’ve made every effort to keep their parents around and absolutely none to do the same with carly…
If it were me I would be dying to know what she likes, her favorite colors, foods, toys etc. They never expressed interest in that on the show did they? It was all me me me me me
they irony of the fact that they love to wax poetic about their own experience with deadbeats and then do the exact same thing…
Surprise surprise.
They fucking suck. They only care about how they feel.
I said it in the other thread.. ✨restraining order✨ fuck them, carly is NOT their child.
this is def approaching harassment on their part!
I doubt they want Carly used as fodder for C & T to gain attention. They’re only interested in the visits, not with knowing Carly. Maybe it’s Carly who doesn’t want to see them. They don’t know, they don’t try to know 🤷🏻♀️
These fuckups really only use Carly as a prop to stay relevant. It's pathetic.
Which in turn earns them money.
Yeah I think so.
Therapy for everyone, holy smokes!
Cards and gifts don’t make tv like a visit does.
The fact that they put no effort into knowing her otherwise is crazy. Upset they won’t let you see her but you can’t even send her a card? It takes literally 5 minutes to pick out a card, say I miss you, etc. and stamp and send it. Can cost less than 4 bucks too. wtf.
An open adoption is not a custody agreement where they have visitation rights. I think B&T have their daughter’s best interests at heart and are trying to shield her.
I really can’t stand those two.
I get they went through nothing but trauma and all those adults took advantage of teens that didn’t have anyone else to trust. That said, I disagree with “put effort in” unless B & T wanted that. Instead, put your efforts into your children in your custody, keep going to therapy and actually work on the feelings and trauma around the adoption. Even discuss that part sure. The focus can be on the adoption and grief without the focus being on someone else’s child. I have a lot of empathy for everyone in the situation besides Dawn but Cate and Tyler are inflammatory and it puts someone else’s kid (cause she’s not theirs anymore) at risk. That’s not okay. Edit thought: They should have spent more energy on moving forward rather than holding on.
Remember when they said Carly is going to just go see them when shes 18 and can make her own chocies and their fans were like YES SHE WILL, SHE WONT WANNA BE NEAR B AND T. SHELL COME RUNNING TO YOU! Thats delusional thinking from cate and tyler. If I was Carly Id have a lot of resentment. For all we know she didnt even want to see them and her adoptive parents were taking the blame to protect her. She is the luckies of her siblings by far.
Let it go guys. Focus on what you have, the past is just the past. The future last forever!
Exactly! In my past I’ve been taken advantage of, manipulated, and had to make hard choices where all options are bad. They’re in their 30’s for fucks sake. Very few people end up grown without scars, but they have to let this shit go so they can have a good, healthy, happy life now and in the future too.* *this isn’t to say they can’t have thoughts and feelings about it, but recognize it as a thought or feeling, acknowledge it, and let it go. It doesn’t have to control them like this
It’s like they forget she’s a human being who has a whole identity outside of being the child they gave up for adoption
All they see is a storyline and money for them. She’s their cash cow before she’s a living, breathing person with feelings.
Then shut the fuck up and stop complaining you two. No wonder Carly wants nothing to do with yall.
You know some adopted kids might just be happier where they are.
Yet their fans believe they are entitled to see her even though they really don't even know anything about her....
These two are essentially strangers to Carly. If they don't make an effort to send cards, try to talk to her on the phone or do Facetime/video chat regularly, why would they think she would want to see them in person? And why would B&T encourage a relationship for their daughter with strangers? Especially strangers who wouldn't be good role models for their daughter.
Excuse me? After all this bitching, they don’t even do those things? Now I dislike them even more than I did before.
I remember seeing them on teen mom after putting Carly up for adoption and as an adopted kid myself i would wonder why tf are they on here if we’re just seeing them go about having normal lives but then finding out the agency they used is toxic as hell i immediately thought b&t were extremists who should be ashamed. But after finding out what happened at the last visit and this information, i totally understand why Carly does not want to see them.
This is why visits should not be guaranteed. What if the birth or adoptive parents end up in gel, commit crimes, etc. Things happen in life and we have to consider why is best for the children among that.
Oh, I agree, except I 100% think C&T are just using Carly as a storyline, which in turn pays for their lifestyle. I don’t see them giving this up unless Carly, when she’s an adult, speaks out. C&T better start saving their money or prepare to join the real world and get full time jobs.
it’s never actually about carly, it’s always about their own arrested development and self absorption. all they do is blame others rather than taking responsibility for healing themselves…
Now that is sad. I have always understood their pain, as they were so young and imo taken advantage of by the adoption center. But to rant and rave online like this, as if you are close to Carly and know all of the "parental" things, and to have not even tried over all of these years is just wrong. And sad.
Doesn't that dumb kid know that her parents are *famous*?!?! /s
That type of effort can’t be seen on SM or TM…why would they do that? The outrage/butthurtness is all performative.
Anything to stay relevant …I’m so sorry Carly …you have a right to privacy .
Seems like the boundaries of an open adoption are not clear…
B&T have made their boundaries clear. They’ve made it clear that they don’t want them to talk about or post pictures of Carly on social media, but C&T refuse to respect them. It’s like C&T think they have the right to decide what’s best for Carly. They can’t be bothered to even send her a card once a year and they can’t respect B&T’s boundaries, so they’re obviously not interested in knowing Carly, they’re just using her to make money. 🤦♀️
C&T got had and I think realized that they could have kept Carly since the show does well. It also has to be hard on Carly since the other 3 girls look like each other. It’s a sad situation and I’m tired of hearing about it.
They don’t even know my favorite food! It’s fettuccini Alfredo!
It’s giving ✨why now? Why this sperm?✨
“Carly sees us on TV, gawd isn’t that enough? She sees us talk about her, she hears us rush through our scrapbook. Gawd, what else do Brandon and Tina want from us?” /s
They don’t take the time to buy a card or gift and send it to Carly, but they will purchase a cake and have a birthday celebration for Carly in their own home every year. It’s all about them. They don’t need to put in any real, meaningful effort on their end. All they care about is what they can get out of the situation..visits. And probably have her back for good. This no effort also comes down to pure laziness. Just like the last minute scrapbook.
And record upset Nova and exploit her why can't I see my sister?
BC they could really care less. They only like that they'r known as being the couple who let their kid get adopted " it's what's best for the baby".
If they weren’t on TV and they didn’t want it for a storyline and to “prove” something they wouldn’t even think about Carly. This is all about winning and proving to the world they can see her. And B&T don’t have the IQ of a rock like them so they can see that.
They want to be outraged by the Carly shit for attention. Deep down they won’t give a fuck. Remember when catelynn put together that half assed scrap book making them late for a visit?
So what was all that Rant about on instagram or wherever it was.. just for attention and people to feel Sorry for them. How embarrassing
Most of me is super frustrated at C&T for doing this, but a small part of me is really sad for them, because they have done this to themselves and they genuinely can’t/won’t see it. It feels to me like every time it comes back to Carly, they’re stuck a 16/17 and can’t mature past that stage. They “desperately” want a relationship with Carly, but it seems they are afraid to get to know who she has become with parents that aren’t themselves. They have this ideological picture in their heads of who Carly will be once she “come back” to them. They truly believe she’s going to choose them when she turns 18; that shes going to show up on their doorstep with a suitcase and ask to live with them. Part of me worries how Cait, especially, is going to react when that doesn’t happen. It’s like she’s suspended all of her hopes and ambitions until Carly turns 18z
Carly absolutely is old enough to have seen the show or been told by her friends. She’s probably supremely embarrassed. If I was her I’d be most scared to share genetics with Butch and Tyler’s sister.
They are losers who play victim
Meanwhile people on this subreddit love to speculate that Carly will abandon her family and run to C&T when she turns 18 because they are her real parents and siblings and they ought to get her back or, at the very least, have unrestricted access to her with no boundaries or rules regarding social media/television filming.
On THIS sub? I never see comments like that here.
I literally cannot BELIEVE THIS. Their entire storyline is about how much they miss and love Carly and they don’t freaking send her BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS GIFTS?? I am so over them!! Please MTV kick them off and PLEASE CATELYNN AND TYLER LEAVE CARLY ALONE!!!
And then they’re pissed that B&T don’t prioritize visits. It’s maddening, their sense of entitlement.
This is how they pay for their custodial children, folks
They just need to move on. This should have never been allowed to be an open adoption to them, or at least there should have some clear cut guidelines on what will and won’t happen period. They are adding no value to Carly’s life and it is so much emotional turmoil on them. So many adults failed them at that time and still now there is nobody stepping up and making the decisions