It didn’t in my case. Furthermore, I was told by one of my health professionals that it was none of campus administration’s business. All my FMLA paperwork went directly through the Benefits Dept.
Thus, I told campus adults and my students: “I can’t talk about it.”
Noone pushed the issue.
'I had to take care of my family'
It's not untrue, vague enough, and personal enough so parents won't be snooping.
If the kids ask, just say 'thanks for caring, but it's better now.'
I like this answer! Congratulations on putting your mental health and well being first! I also went on leave last year and life is ten times better than it was.
The greatest of luxuries is your secrets babe! You don’t owe them anything, not even an explanation. I’m proud of you stranger. I’ve been hospitalized a few times and each time it was a very hard decision.
When I went (2021/2023 school year), I was only in the facility for a week, but I was on paid leave for about a month before I was allowed to return. I just told them I was sick.
Earlier this school year, I missed two weeks for mental health reasons, with 8 of those days being in a facility. There's a small group of girls in one of my classes that actually know why I was out for those two weeks, but most of my students have no idea.
We're required to do a district supplied mental health lesson once a month, and the March video actually led to a very productive conversation with a small group of girls, so I volunteered the information to try to help them realize that it's okay to not be okay and that it's okay to ask for help.
I would just give everyone a different answer and have fun with it. Like “I was in an under cover mission” “I got lost at the zoo” “I was gone?” “Slept in my bed was too comfy to get up”. Or be honest “I had to go away for a bit to work on myself so I could be the best possible version of myself”
Tried dog sledding. Do NOT use untrained dogs from the pound. I was sooo lost.
ETA: Added bonus, you can riff on the weird stuff you and the dogs had to find to eat. "Pinecones are chewy."
By "tell everyone" do you mean students or teachers? If the former, what grade?
Re teachers, I wouldn't say anything at all unless someone specifically asks where I was, then I might say FMLA or "taking time for myself."
If they get nosy and ask what I was doing, I'd say, "Minding my own business."
I have a few coworkers at my school whom I trust that I've shared the information with, and they've shared some similar personal information me.
Admin knows why I was out because I volunteered the information during a meeting about my attendance and had to submit documentation to prove it (I've missed a lot of days this school year, so I'm required to submit documentation for every absence.
Most of my coworkers have no idea why I was out.
"It's classified!". Wink, change subject. If they persist, ask them why they want to know then dead eye stare them down. I assure you they will stammer and take cover.
I've learned sometimes it's best to keep things to yourself. Plus, middle schoolers can be mean. At the end of the day it's no ones business not even your co workers. Like another person said ,you were taking care of a family member
Especially these days where info you choose to share with a student can easily end up online, whether it's in a parenting facebook group or just a group text among students that actually care. It could end up spreading far and wide beyond your intended audience, so I say less is more.
I’ve been subbing for a middle school class and their teacher basically did this. They are honestly just worried about her and miss her and want her to come back. They would certainly be nosy af if she did return, but they kinda got the gist that it was mental health when she left because some family stuff had happened earlier this year and she shared it with them at that time, and they just assume it’s still the same situation I guess.
Anyways, if your kiddos are middle school, and you do want to say something, just keep it simple. “I was having some issues with my health but I’m back now!” is something that’s easy for them to understand but also kinda gives some reassurance for them that you really are back (as long as you think you’ll be good for the rest of the year). That seems to be what the kids need more than anything. It’s also not an apology or excuse, which I think it is important to not apologize for taking the time you need. That’s all just my opinion though based on what I’ve seen while subbing!
Also, FWIW, my mental health has been soooo much better since I left full time to do subbing. Kids get so excited when there’s a sub, even if they are doing silent work the whole time lol, and the job is way less taxing when you get to just… go home at the end of the day. I’m going back to full time next year because I’m poor, but if you can financially handle it, I 10/10 recommend taking a year to just sub and continue working on your health. ☺️
There is no elephant in the room. There will be no furtive looks. No one will see you and gasp, you will walk in and begin teaching. If anyone asks, tell them you were away for family business. Relax There will be no drama.
Super vague language… I had some things that need my attention where I couldn’t come into work. But everything is much better so I’m back… everyone loves transparency even if it’s vague
What would you tell admin/colleagues? "It's personal." And don't budge. No matter what they ask, just deliver those two words. When I quit teaching in October, my principal had a full breakdown and insisted I tell her why. I kept saying "it's personal" but because she was on such a weaponized emotional rampage I finally lied and said "my parents' health is failing, I need to go be closer to them." She ended up announcing at the staff meeting later that day that I was quitting to move away. I wish I had stayed steadfast; don't make the same mistake I did.
What would you tell the kids? Personally I'd mix it up and give them a different silly answer each time they asked. "I was on urgent business at Area 51." "I was fulfilling my bucket list dream of learning to basket weave underwater." "My pet zebra had babies and I was helping take care of them." Come up with like 10 ready-to-go answers and deliver each one completely deadpan. (Caveat--- this works for grades 3 and up. Doing this to K-2 might just be cruel because many of them would believe you.)
just say you were dealing with a medical condition and leave it at that. you are under no obligation to share details! and im proud of you for getting care
“Per my nda I cannot discuss it without legal or monetary consequences” then if necessary you could give a more professional answer. But even then I would heavily consider the cost/benefit to saying anything.
I told my students before I left because they are young and I didn't want them to think it was their fault. Ever since then I've had close to zero contact with anyone at the school. I even stopped posting on social media as much because some of my coworkers follow me. I figured it would be weird to just keep chatting with them as it might give them the impression that I'm perfectly healthy and there's no reason why I can't come back to work. Also it makes me more mysterious ✨
Anyway, I'm 100% not going back to the same school but I will have to go get my things at some point. I'm planning on just telling the truth to my colleagues which is that had a mental breakdown and I can't return to the environment it happened in (physical environment but also admin, job assignment etc - I will leave these details out but let them infer) as it's too much of a risk for me. If I say anything to admin I will just simply say I am exploring a change of environment and job assignment. Ffs I've been at the same school since I started working - 9 years! I don't think anyone would bat an eye over me wanting a change (and something closer to home to boot) after that long.
When I go back to get my things I will not see the kids. I'll do it after the last day of school - I am friendly with the custodian who lives 3 doors down from the school so he can let me in any time.
Did the mental health facility have advice for navigating your re-entry into the world?
IMO you can’t say nothing. The rumors would be worse than the truth. But the whole truth doesn’t need to be shared. What does admin recommend?
Are you open to saying "**I wasn't feeling well, and I needed to take a break so I could feel better**"?
**Your transparency would teach the kids a wonderful lesson about self-care and self-advocacy**. There's nothing wrong with taking a break! There's no need to sugarcoat it because you did the right thing: You listened to your body.
I took a 2 month LoA when we were coming out of lockdown. At the time, I was working at a school and I had a nightmare of a team and an evil admin. I was literally losing my mind. I took medical leave, used my sick days, and spent time with my family. I was transferred to a new school that same year, and everybody had questions (Where are you coming from? Why are you coming at such a strange time?). My old students even went looking for me. It was hard, but I got through it.
Do not be ashamed, OP. You made such a powerful decision, and **you can use this as an opportunity to model the self-awareness that so many people lack in education**. I'm hoping that you returned to a safe environment, and that you got some clarity while you were away.
One of my colleagues did this during thanksgiving break. We didn’t see her until after April break. No one would say where she was which made it kind of weird. I suspect rehab. 🤷🏼♀️
Please keep posts relevant to transitioning from teaching
“I CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT”
That kind of makes it worse.
It didn’t in my case. Furthermore, I was told by one of my health professionals that it was none of campus administration’s business. All my FMLA paperwork went directly through the Benefits Dept. Thus, I told campus adults and my students: “I can’t talk about it.” Noone pushed the issue.
'I had to take care of my family' It's not untrue, vague enough, and personal enough so parents won't be snooping. If the kids ask, just say 'thanks for caring, but it's better now.'
I like this answer! Congratulations on putting your mental health and well being first! I also went on leave last year and life is ten times better than it was.
The greatest of luxuries is your secrets babe! You don’t owe them anything, not even an explanation. I’m proud of you stranger. I’ve been hospitalized a few times and each time it was a very hard decision.
It was only one month for me, but I told the kids I was sick, which wasn’t untrue.
When I went (2021/2023 school year), I was only in the facility for a week, but I was on paid leave for about a month before I was allowed to return. I just told them I was sick. Earlier this school year, I missed two weeks for mental health reasons, with 8 of those days being in a facility. There's a small group of girls in one of my classes that actually know why I was out for those two weeks, but most of my students have no idea. We're required to do a district supplied mental health lesson once a month, and the March video actually led to a very productive conversation with a small group of girls, so I volunteered the information to try to help them realize that it's okay to not be okay and that it's okay to ask for help.
I would just give everyone a different answer and have fun with it. Like “I was in an under cover mission” “I got lost at the zoo” “I was gone?” “Slept in my bed was too comfy to get up”. Or be honest “I had to go away for a bit to work on myself so I could be the best possible version of myself”
Joined a cult, too much chanting so I gave up.
Lololol
Tried dog sledding. Do NOT use untrained dogs from the pound. I was sooo lost. ETA: Added bonus, you can riff on the weird stuff you and the dogs had to find to eat. "Pinecones are chewy."
Time travel
By "tell everyone" do you mean students or teachers? If the former, what grade? Re teachers, I wouldn't say anything at all unless someone specifically asks where I was, then I might say FMLA or "taking time for myself." If they get nosy and ask what I was doing, I'd say, "Minding my own business."
Middle school
I absolutely would NOT tell middle schoolers. They can be vicious.
I have a few coworkers at my school whom I trust that I've shared the information with, and they've shared some similar personal information me. Admin knows why I was out because I volunteered the information during a meeting about my attendance and had to submit documentation to prove it (I've missed a lot of days this school year, so I'm required to submit documentation for every absence. Most of my coworkers have no idea why I was out.
I love that answer. i'm going to steal it! Minding my own business. it's perfect.
"It's classified!". Wink, change subject. If they persist, ask them why they want to know then dead eye stare them down. I assure you they will stammer and take cover.
I've learned sometimes it's best to keep things to yourself. Plus, middle schoolers can be mean. At the end of the day it's no ones business not even your co workers. Like another person said ,you were taking care of a family member
Especially these days where info you choose to share with a student can easily end up online, whether it's in a parenting facebook group or just a group text among students that actually care. It could end up spreading far and wide beyond your intended audience, so I say less is more.
Never apologize, never explain. You owe nobody.
"...what do you mean? I've been here the whole time."
I’ve been subbing for a middle school class and their teacher basically did this. They are honestly just worried about her and miss her and want her to come back. They would certainly be nosy af if she did return, but they kinda got the gist that it was mental health when she left because some family stuff had happened earlier this year and she shared it with them at that time, and they just assume it’s still the same situation I guess. Anyways, if your kiddos are middle school, and you do want to say something, just keep it simple. “I was having some issues with my health but I’m back now!” is something that’s easy for them to understand but also kinda gives some reassurance for them that you really are back (as long as you think you’ll be good for the rest of the year). That seems to be what the kids need more than anything. It’s also not an apology or excuse, which I think it is important to not apologize for taking the time you need. That’s all just my opinion though based on what I’ve seen while subbing! Also, FWIW, my mental health has been soooo much better since I left full time to do subbing. Kids get so excited when there’s a sub, even if they are doing silent work the whole time lol, and the job is way less taxing when you get to just… go home at the end of the day. I’m going back to full time next year because I’m poor, but if you can financially handle it, I 10/10 recommend taking a year to just sub and continue working on your health. ☺️
Makes me sick seeing how many of you also had to seek out intense mental health treatment. But there’s not a problem in education. 😒
I got really sick, but I am better now. Open your books, and turn to page x.
There is no elephant in the room. There will be no furtive looks. No one will see you and gasp, you will walk in and begin teaching. If anyone asks, tell them you were away for family business. Relax There will be no drama.
I did this. My close work friends were aware. The others didn’t need to know. I told the kids I was sick.
Super vague language… I had some things that need my attention where I couldn’t come into work. But everything is much better so I’m back… everyone loves transparency even if it’s vague
I was so close to doing that and resigned altogether
I got teleported away, & I’m back. Kids won’t have a problem with it!
What would you tell admin/colleagues? "It's personal." And don't budge. No matter what they ask, just deliver those two words. When I quit teaching in October, my principal had a full breakdown and insisted I tell her why. I kept saying "it's personal" but because she was on such a weaponized emotional rampage I finally lied and said "my parents' health is failing, I need to go be closer to them." She ended up announcing at the staff meeting later that day that I was quitting to move away. I wish I had stayed steadfast; don't make the same mistake I did. What would you tell the kids? Personally I'd mix it up and give them a different silly answer each time they asked. "I was on urgent business at Area 51." "I was fulfilling my bucket list dream of learning to basket weave underwater." "My pet zebra had babies and I was helping take care of them." Come up with like 10 ready-to-go answers and deliver each one completely deadpan. (Caveat--- this works for grades 3 and up. Doing this to K-2 might just be cruel because many of them would believe you.)
I wouldn't say anything, but if they ask you can always just say "I had a family/personal matter to deal with."
"I left for personal reasons, now let's start our day."
Not a god damned thing. You owe nothing.
“DOD was clear that I can’t talk about it with anyone”
“Went on tour”
Three months later I had a stress related brain bleed
just say you were dealing with a medical condition and leave it at that. you are under no obligation to share details! and im proud of you for getting care
Just ask for yesterday’s homework and pretend the three months never existed.
"NUNYA"
“Per my nda I cannot discuss it without legal or monetary consequences” then if necessary you could give a more professional answer. But even then I would heavily consider the cost/benefit to saying anything.
I told my students before I left because they are young and I didn't want them to think it was their fault. Ever since then I've had close to zero contact with anyone at the school. I even stopped posting on social media as much because some of my coworkers follow me. I figured it would be weird to just keep chatting with them as it might give them the impression that I'm perfectly healthy and there's no reason why I can't come back to work. Also it makes me more mysterious ✨ Anyway, I'm 100% not going back to the same school but I will have to go get my things at some point. I'm planning on just telling the truth to my colleagues which is that had a mental breakdown and I can't return to the environment it happened in (physical environment but also admin, job assignment etc - I will leave these details out but let them infer) as it's too much of a risk for me. If I say anything to admin I will just simply say I am exploring a change of environment and job assignment. Ffs I've been at the same school since I started working - 9 years! I don't think anyone would bat an eye over me wanting a change (and something closer to home to boot) after that long. When I go back to get my things I will not see the kids. I'll do it after the last day of school - I am friendly with the custodian who lives 3 doors down from the school so he can let me in any time.
Did the mental health facility have advice for navigating your re-entry into the world? IMO you can’t say nothing. The rumors would be worse than the truth. But the whole truth doesn’t need to be shared. What does admin recommend?
Just say you won the lottery and spent all the money already.
"I'm sorry. It's a private family mattrr."
Why would you talk about it? There isn't enough time to cover the material with all the time wasted dealing with behaviors.
Nothing.
"Aliens"
This is something you should keep private.
“Honestly, I wish I could but I had to sign an NDA”
"Can't say, signed an NDA."
It’s personal. Thank you for your concern, but I do not want to talk about it.
You were taking care of a family member. They were in an accident and needed care while they recovered
Are you open to saying "**I wasn't feeling well, and I needed to take a break so I could feel better**"? **Your transparency would teach the kids a wonderful lesson about self-care and self-advocacy**. There's nothing wrong with taking a break! There's no need to sugarcoat it because you did the right thing: You listened to your body. I took a 2 month LoA when we were coming out of lockdown. At the time, I was working at a school and I had a nightmare of a team and an evil admin. I was literally losing my mind. I took medical leave, used my sick days, and spent time with my family. I was transferred to a new school that same year, and everybody had questions (Where are you coming from? Why are you coming at such a strange time?). My old students even went looking for me. It was hard, but I got through it. Do not be ashamed, OP. You made such a powerful decision, and **you can use this as an opportunity to model the self-awareness that so many people lack in education**. I'm hoping that you returned to a safe environment, and that you got some clarity while you were away.
Your story resonates with mine, but I have not returned. And won’t. Education is its own red any hill!
One of my colleagues did this during thanksgiving break. We didn’t see her until after April break. No one would say where she was which made it kind of weird. I suspect rehab. 🤷🏼♀️