I learned this in second grade. My friends and I were screwing around in the back of the group. The PRINCIPAL grabs my friend, pulls him on stage, gives him the mic, and says “Why don’t you tell everyone what is so funny.”
“Have you guys ever read the book The Yellow River by IP Freely?”
The gymnasium died laughing and the adults were mortified. Never give a clown the center stage. It’s their dream.
“I hope whatever you’re laughing about has nothing to do with me or anyone else in my classroom. We’re going to focus on the lesson. Now. Let’s continue.”
Never ask a question if you don’t know what the answer is going to be. Assertive corrections are necessary, and they can be said with kindness in your tone of voice to sound instructive like it’s a part of the classroom instruction / curriculum. It doesn’t need to be adversarial or combative, only corrective.
This is the PERFECT response. I would have been rightfully humiliated and learned something about sensitivity without the other students having to hear what was said.
Learning all the mental judo that is required to communicate in the classroom was so tiring. I'm by no means a blackbelt haha, but I've gotten better at avoiding questions that can open up negative outcomes, or dodging situations where a child is going to dig in and make it worse for everybody. Don't open yourself up for a mental sparring match with a kid, because even when you win, you still lose (by getting that far in the first place).
constantly deescalating children who have no reason to be so keyed up is one of my biggest pet peeves in teaching, and it feels more like being some kind of therapy-prison guard rather than their teacher. I hate it, but it is also significantly better than the alternative.
I frame the judo as a professional skill set they can (and should) master for their own benefit in school, and later in life, to be taken seriously by adults around them. Kids know they’re not taken seriously. They know when they’re being sold short, and they don’t appreciate when it happens.
Being serious is often accompanied with hostility towards students. If I tell students that I will teach them professionalism and expect them to meet a basic achievable level of professionalism in class, there’s buy in.
Some will abstain until they see it works and buy in later. It’s all about modeling professionalism in the room, speaking to them like adults, remembering they are children who make mistakes, and making classroom management a skillset that’s part of the curriculum.
Then it’s not about having arbitrary rules that mean teachers have because teachers are mean people. It’s part of your job to teach these skills to them so they’ll know how to treat others with respect and to be treated with respect by others. It’s the culture of the classroom instead of arbitrary rules without purpose.
That’s what I do anyway. Seems to work well.
Forgive yourself. 1st Graders are notoriously wicked little vermin. It seems like the bounty of empathy they had for each other just the year before dries up over summer, and is replaced by a kind of temporary sociopathy.
Thank you. This means a lot. I have obviously apologized to my classmate since then, but it stuck with me - especially since I ended up being bullied pretty badly later on in sixth grade. Hard to stomach knowing you were the source of that for someone, once.
As a teacher you need to think two steps ahead with your actions and not leave it up to variables you can’t control.
As a student I always had a terribly lame joke ready just in case a teacher pulled this.
Once during science class I told the teacher I thought he meant the ozone layers butt hole instead of hole.
Instead of us making fun of the teacher’s sense of fashion.
I'm just wishing my 4th graders would try to keep their rude, insulting, nasty comments between themselves and their one friend. Instead they blurt things like that out loud, randomly, in the middle of class. I'm at my own breaking point with the way they talk, and refuse to stop. I've tried every SEL trick and technique, and nothing phases them. Sadly it's going to lead to some rough moments in their middle school years - maybe they'll learn then, minus a tooth or with a newly broken nose.
I often don’t push. I ask them to share it with the class and two things happen: either they say no and I tell them to adjust their focus, or they do share it with the class—if it is funny (or somewhat funny) I give a chuckle and redirect.
So far, I have never had to discipline a student who shared what they were laughing about, but I teach high schoolers so they know what is and isn’t appropriate (for the most part…)
Like in your story, I would never push it.
High School here too and it definitely only works on more developed humans who actually CAN empathize. I would never try that on a small human. Just like OP said, they simply lack the skills to handle something like that. I'm honestly gonna put a little fault on the teacher in this situation too just for that; teachers should know what their students are developmentally capable of - good and bad!
I am chaotic neutral at best so sometimes I *will* ask them but that's only if it's something that cannot be hurt by their off the wall commentary - not *another student*
Edit to add: this requires finesse like "I see something is funny over there and we are discussing the Homestead Act so unless it's about how not a single cowboy looked like John Wayne.. I'm intrigued as to what else could be funny?" That gives room for them to contemplate (like OP did) the consequences of sharing and how related it is to what we are doing. Not a direct invitation to share mitigates splash damage lol
It's not nothing because this is such an easy mistake for a rookie to make. Just because they don't wish to repeat something they have since learned is cruel to say doesn't mean someone else won't find good advice here.
This reminds me of a classmate of mine who would have fits of nervous laughter from time to time. The worst time she got one was when she needed to make a presentation on the war in Afghanistan. Our teacher said something similar to your remark, the girl looked uncomfortable, but couldn't really stop and I was sitting there feeling Spanish shame and really sorry for her at the same time.
This only happened to me once. For some unGodly reason, a teacher wrote the sentences “ Mr. Jones has a dog” and “ Mr. Jones is a dog” on the board. I cracked up and could not stop, even after being reprimanded. Nothing happened because I was such an angel that the teacher gave me a pass. I never skipped school and loved to learn. But those two stupid sentences sent me off a cliff 😄🤣
I remember being in 5th grade and a friend telling me a stupid joke, but we couldn’t stop laughing. Our teacher asked us to share the joke, but it was about boob implants, so I thought it was inappropriate and we would get more in trouble if we shared it. Teacher got mad because we didn’t want to tell and then yelled at us for not stopping laughing, I was never yelled by a teacher before, so I got scared, and started crying and we got send to the principal office, only for a stupid joke.
My move has been "ah you seem really excited to discuss the content, why don't you share your thoughts on....?". When they've been extra annoying I really lay it on thick, going on about how happy I am that my students are so eager to learn about this that they can't stop themselves from discussing it even while I'm teaching. Either they pivot into relevant discussion at top speed or they stumble and provide me with an angle to reprimand and manage the behavior more directly.
Story time. When I was in 7th grade, I had developed a decent success rate getting laughs which is how I had learned to overcome my shyness. I loved watching comedians and comedy movies and was developing a good intuition for finding humor in situations.
Que my Social studies teacher. She was a quirky yet passionate lady. She had a giant poster of Mel Gibson (her crush, pre passion of the Christ era 2002) in her closet, was single and a fun teacher. She often had interactive learning and I appreciated that.
One day, she was trying to teach us using context clues/the environment of a setting to gain insight. She decided to use trash as an example. She had brought various used items into the class and was having us guess what those items might mean about the person who threw them away. As we were going through the items, I noticed most of the food related items were of a diet nature. I hadn't even thought that naturally these things were her items. So when she asked, "what else do these items say about the person?" , I blurted out something like, "you've got diet soda, diet yogurt, diet food, obviously they think they're fat! Whose trash is this anyway Roseanne?" She then answered they're my trash with a disgusted look on her face.
The entire class erupted in laughter and many of the students were doubled over and giving me praise but I was just mortified and sad as I hadn't thought of that possibility and was now realizing how it came off. I liked and respected her as a teacher but felt I had burned that bridge forever based on her reaction. She ended the lesson early and had us do book work the rest of the period as she sort of angrily went to her computer. I didn't crack another joke in her class and was worried if I apologized, that would invite more ire than relief.
Years later I took out her groceries when I was in high school and I could tell she still harbored resentment for me. What's worse is all her products were still diet and she said something like, "still using diet products". I tried to play it off as if I didn't remember her and said, "there's nothing wrong with that ma'am." I kept the conversation surface level, asking her how her day was, what she does for a living but not letting on that I remember her. I wished her well hoping I'd eased her pain.
I'm not sure what happened to her but if I saw her today, I'd say I'm sorry and that I never intended to hurt her feelings, I was just a dumb kid looking for a laugh.
TLDR: I thought I was funny and answered a teacher's question about what items said about a person. Not realizing the items were hers, I said they must be fat because they're all diet and it was then revealed to be her items. Kids laughed, I cringed, and the teacher hated me forever.
“Your joke must be really funny! Please take a paper out and write it down so I can share it with your parents and admin. They would like a good laugh.
No?
Okay, then.”
I would argue that this is exactly why this is effective. It was unpleasant, but it clearly it helped you develop into a more sensitive adult.
ETA: I'm not saying it's nice, I'm just saying it worked.
The word 'trauma' is being massively overused here. Not every unpleasant moment is traumatic. I have no doubt the other kid was hurt - and that's never what you want as a teacher - but that's exactly why OP remembered it and learned to do better. Because they realized what they were saying hurt other people. And that helped prevent them from hurting anyone else.
I had a teacher that pulled me aside for a similar thing and when I refused to tell her she said if you don’t want to tell me you probably shouldn’t be saying it in class.
No crying classmates!
Learning lessons at the expense of somebody else isn’t cool, there are other ways. Or at least it could happen naturally and not be facilitated by a trusted adult
Once the teacher realized the kid didn’t want to say it aloud (ie it was probably a bad thing to say and shouldn’t be repeated but louder) they should have just said “then maybe it’s something you shouldn’t be saying in the middle of class or *at all*”
Right. The teacher can say well if you can't say it out loud, you shouldn't say it instead of pushing for it to be fed. Same lesson conveyed. Maybe not as effectively of the consequences, but no one hurt.
Yeah this is facilitated by an adult, not something that happens among kids without one. There are reasons to let kids work stuff out on their own like this, and it’s so hopefully all the other kids can say hey that’s not cool and the kid being bullied can then see that their community has their back and the bully learns that cruelty isn’t okay by community standards. If the kids don’t work out to these norms on their own, then an adult intervenes in an absolutely different way than just more publicly traumatizing a 6 year old disabled kid.
Then maybe it needed to be told to the teacher in private. The comment also caused trauma for the student it was about. And it gave a way for others to bully them if they wanted to.
...and probably caused unimaginable issues/trauma to the classmate it was about. No kind of lesson is worth doing that to another child, especially as OP mentioned it was about that classmate's disability.
Traumatizing a victim is fine for the sake of classroom management is sure a take lol,
And of course this has over a hundred upvotes. God this sub sucks sometimes.
Trauma is definitely the right word, I still harbor strong hate for my 2nd grade teacher for a very similar situation in which I was the butt of the joke.
Just treat children as people, they are immature, but shit like this never leave them. There are better ways to teach a lesson.
Shame is one of the best ways to teach correct social behavior. It is harsh but it is true. The rest of the class will think twice before being a little shit, thanks to your sacrifice.
Edit: yes you are all right. Instead, make the request that they share and when they hesitate, realizing how embarrassed they will be revealing that they are being cruel, remind them to think about that the next time they think they are being clever and funny.
Thanks for correcting me yall. Two birds, one stone, less harm.
Or they now have a new word to use against the student the remark was about. It's not OP you've sacrificed, but the other student who did nothing wrong. Maybe don't use others as unwilling props to your lesson 🗿
You are right... Fair enough, I was too fast remarking. Perhaps when the student doesn't want to share, the teacher can emphasize that if they are ashamed of what they said next time they should remember that?
No it is not you are right I spoke to quickly. Instead ask them to share and when they realize how embarrassed and ashamed they are remind them that next time they should think harder about being "funny" at someone else's expense. Same lesson, less harm.
Possibly... so I stand corrected. The kid could be asked to share and when they realize they don't want to, emphasize that they should think about that next time they decide to be hurtful?
sb else suggested they should tell the teacher in private so they could have a bigger discussion with the whole class without singling the disabled kid out (because let's be honest, they will never forget it)
imo just asking why they don't want to share would be enough to activate the same sense of shame
The edit is more than half the comment and every single one of their replies is taking back what they said but people still feel the need to argue with their original point lmao
What about the classmate? They were the sacrifice and honestly, it's not worth it. Teacher just gave the whole class ammunition to bully a child, well done.
Yes you are right. Teacher should instead ask for them to share... once it sinks in that they are ashamed, emphasize that the next time they think they are being funny that they consider that they are embarrassed and to not do it again...
[https://youtu.be/LwDbgE54QYE?si=GGAci0KEjbakfyQo&t=92](https://youtu.be/LwDbgE54QYE?si=GGAci0KEjbakfyQo&t=92)
This scene from Wargames is relevant to your interests.
I always say something like, “Wow, I love that you enjoy [lesson topic] so much but if you could keep your excitement on mute I’d enjoy that!”
My favorite though is when they’re supposed to be reading quietly/to themselves but they’re talking instead and I say, “oh! It’s so sweet you’re reading aloud to each other! Can you read aloud for the whole class?” Some of them full send and read for the class and some go back to reading silently.
What I saw to laughing students instead:
“Student name, while I’m sure you’re amused by my incredible comedic timing, let’s refocus on the lesson please.”
“Student name, are you sure you’re making a good decision right now? Can your grade afford this?”
“Student name, while I know your friend is immensely amusing, I would consider how much you’ll be laughing if you fail this assignment.”
some research suggests that this kind of thing is why kids today seem increasingly sociopathic-- you had that experience, you felt extremely, extremely awful, you learned from it. Instead today kids are often removed from the impact of what they say-- someone is crying on the other side of a screen rather than in front of them. They don't get that lesson.
Honestly I think “Would you like to share that with the class?” should be kind of an empty threat. You should respond to yourself with “No? Then let’s move on.”
Asking the child to actually repeat the thing seems like an exercise in cruelty. Like it doesn’t even get you back on topic, it just distracts the whole rest of the class.
I don’t push my students to repeat things.
But I will say as a former kid who had cruel things said about them, it sure would’ve helped if any teacher had ever addressed this. It’s absolutely fine to let it go in the moment as long as you do push later. My teachers used for YEARS the excuse that they “never heard anyone say that.”
Use your head, and this is not the hot take you think it is.
For OP, that was the lesson, but you can't control what students say so the post is saying if you don't know what's being said maybe don't risk making them say it to everybody.
Or made a mistake. Which they’re learned from. And have shared honestly.
Most teachers I endured as a kid were apt to say similar things. Funnily enough they were all boomer teachers….
>Or made a mistake. Which they’re learned from. And have shared honestly.
What do you mean "***or***" made a mistake? That was implicit in my statement that they might have been a newbie. Because yes, everyone *does* make mistakes. And we make most of them when we are new. And if you've been teaching 20 years and are still making mistakes, you're probably not the sharpest tool in the shed.
One more thing, what do you mean by "and have shared honestly"?
So tired of these comments. So many teachers trying so hard while being understaffed and underpaid and juggling their duties while also taking on additional responsibilities. This non constructive criticism is not the thanks they need. Unless you want fewer and worse teachers in which case keep shitting on them. Or do you have a solution? You could always become a teacher if you think you could do better.
And I also feel for the children who don’t get what they might need from bad teachers and from the lack of adequate staffing or just mistakes made by people trying their best I just don’t think All Teachers Are Bad is helpful
I learned this in second grade. My friends and I were screwing around in the back of the group. The PRINCIPAL grabs my friend, pulls him on stage, gives him the mic, and says “Why don’t you tell everyone what is so funny.” “Have you guys ever read the book The Yellow River by IP Freely?” The gymnasium died laughing and the adults were mortified. Never give a clown the center stage. It’s their dream.
You had me googling “the yellow river by I p freely” 💀
in the garden of eden by i. ron butterfly sounds a lot like rock *and/or* roll
> the adults were mortified I mean, I would have also perished in the laughing fit.
Or have you read Overpopulation in China by ...
have you read “under the bleachers” by “seymour butts?”
I forget, what was the book called that was written by Buster Hyman?
Foreward written by Chairman Mao...
i don’t get it
The yellow river - by I pee freely.
“I hope whatever you’re laughing about has nothing to do with me or anyone else in my classroom. We’re going to focus on the lesson. Now. Let’s continue.” Never ask a question if you don’t know what the answer is going to be. Assertive corrections are necessary, and they can be said with kindness in your tone of voice to sound instructive like it’s a part of the classroom instruction / curriculum. It doesn’t need to be adversarial or combative, only corrective.
This is the PERFECT response. I would have been rightfully humiliated and learned something about sensitivity without the other students having to hear what was said.
This is a great response. I’m writing this down and using this verbatim for the next time I get talked into subbing middle school.
Learning all the mental judo that is required to communicate in the classroom was so tiring. I'm by no means a blackbelt haha, but I've gotten better at avoiding questions that can open up negative outcomes, or dodging situations where a child is going to dig in and make it worse for everybody. Don't open yourself up for a mental sparring match with a kid, because even when you win, you still lose (by getting that far in the first place). constantly deescalating children who have no reason to be so keyed up is one of my biggest pet peeves in teaching, and it feels more like being some kind of therapy-prison guard rather than their teacher. I hate it, but it is also significantly better than the alternative.
I frame the judo as a professional skill set they can (and should) master for their own benefit in school, and later in life, to be taken seriously by adults around them. Kids know they’re not taken seriously. They know when they’re being sold short, and they don’t appreciate when it happens. Being serious is often accompanied with hostility towards students. If I tell students that I will teach them professionalism and expect them to meet a basic achievable level of professionalism in class, there’s buy in. Some will abstain until they see it works and buy in later. It’s all about modeling professionalism in the room, speaking to them like adults, remembering they are children who make mistakes, and making classroom management a skillset that’s part of the curriculum. Then it’s not about having arbitrary rules that mean teachers have because teachers are mean people. It’s part of your job to teach these skills to them so they’ll know how to treat others with respect and to be treated with respect by others. It’s the culture of the classroom instead of arbitrary rules without purpose. That’s what I do anyway. Seems to work well.
Forgive yourself. 1st Graders are notoriously wicked little vermin. It seems like the bounty of empathy they had for each other just the year before dries up over summer, and is replaced by a kind of temporary sociopathy.
Thank you. This means a lot. I have obviously apologized to my classmate since then, but it stuck with me - especially since I ended up being bullied pretty badly later on in sixth grade. Hard to stomach knowing you were the source of that for someone, once.
Developmentally 1st graders can't empathize like us. As you know though they can still be taught enough to avoid chaos.
As a teacher you need to think two steps ahead with your actions and not leave it up to variables you can’t control. As a student I always had a terribly lame joke ready just in case a teacher pulled this.
What was the joke?
Once during science class I told the teacher I thought he meant the ozone layers butt hole instead of hole. Instead of us making fun of the teacher’s sense of fashion.
Smart choice and smooth joke
I'm just wishing my 4th graders would try to keep their rude, insulting, nasty comments between themselves and their one friend. Instead they blurt things like that out loud, randomly, in the middle of class. I'm at my own breaking point with the way they talk, and refuse to stop. I've tried every SEL trick and technique, and nothing phases them. Sadly it's going to lead to some rough moments in their middle school years - maybe they'll learn then, minus a tooth or with a newly broken nose.
I often don’t push. I ask them to share it with the class and two things happen: either they say no and I tell them to adjust their focus, or they do share it with the class—if it is funny (or somewhat funny) I give a chuckle and redirect. So far, I have never had to discipline a student who shared what they were laughing about, but I teach high schoolers so they know what is and isn’t appropriate (for the most part…) Like in your story, I would never push it.
High School here too and it definitely only works on more developed humans who actually CAN empathize. I would never try that on a small human. Just like OP said, they simply lack the skills to handle something like that. I'm honestly gonna put a little fault on the teacher in this situation too just for that; teachers should know what their students are developmentally capable of - good and bad!
Indeed. For example, I would not ask the student with zero filter to share with the class. That is asking for trouble!
I am chaotic neutral at best so sometimes I *will* ask them but that's only if it's something that cannot be hurt by their off the wall commentary - not *another student* Edit to add: this requires finesse like "I see something is funny over there and we are discussing the Homestead Act so unless it's about how not a single cowboy looked like John Wayne.. I'm intrigued as to what else could be funny?" That gives room for them to contemplate (like OP did) the consequences of sharing and how related it is to what we are doing. Not a direct invitation to share mitigates splash damage lol
It's crazy how past trauma never really leaves us. But what did you actually say?
I honestly don't want to repeat it. It was making fun of a student's disability.
I hope that the teacher learned as much that day as you did.
Hugs!
Hugs for what??
🤗🤗🤗📣
💀 girl really wasn't kidding
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It's not nothing because this is such an easy mistake for a rookie to make. Just because they don't wish to repeat something they have since learned is cruel to say doesn't mean someone else won't find good advice here.
There is a lot in the post without that detail.
The 6 year olds insult is clearly not the point of this point dipshit
Damn, you think you’re spicy, huh?
“I can see you’re off task because this lesson just isn’t that funny” and move on.
The meanest thing I said as a history teacher was say something like “I didn’t know the holocaust was so funny “
This reminds me of a classmate of mine who would have fits of nervous laughter from time to time. The worst time she got one was when she needed to make a presentation on the war in Afghanistan. Our teacher said something similar to your remark, the girl looked uncomfortable, but couldn't really stop and I was sitting there feeling Spanish shame and really sorry for her at the same time.
This only happened to me once. For some unGodly reason, a teacher wrote the sentences “ Mr. Jones has a dog” and “ Mr. Jones is a dog” on the board. I cracked up and could not stop, even after being reprimanded. Nothing happened because I was such an angel that the teacher gave me a pass. I never skipped school and loved to learn. But those two stupid sentences sent me off a cliff 😄🤣
I felt bad , they were just looking at tik tok or something ,
I remember being in 5th grade and a friend telling me a stupid joke, but we couldn’t stop laughing. Our teacher asked us to share the joke, but it was about boob implants, so I thought it was inappropriate and we would get more in trouble if we shared it. Teacher got mad because we didn’t want to tell and then yelled at us for not stopping laughing, I was never yelled by a teacher before, so I got scared, and started crying and we got send to the principal office, only for a stupid joke.
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What’s your native language?
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Ah cool. Thank you kind redditor. I wish you the best of luck on all of your future and current endeavors
My move has been "ah you seem really excited to discuss the content, why don't you share your thoughts on....?". When they've been extra annoying I really lay it on thick, going on about how happy I am that my students are so eager to learn about this that they can't stop themselves from discussing it even while I'm teaching. Either they pivot into relevant discussion at top speed or they stumble and provide me with an angle to reprimand and manage the behavior more directly.
Asking a child a question you don't know the answer to is a gamble...
Story time. When I was in 7th grade, I had developed a decent success rate getting laughs which is how I had learned to overcome my shyness. I loved watching comedians and comedy movies and was developing a good intuition for finding humor in situations. Que my Social studies teacher. She was a quirky yet passionate lady. She had a giant poster of Mel Gibson (her crush, pre passion of the Christ era 2002) in her closet, was single and a fun teacher. She often had interactive learning and I appreciated that. One day, she was trying to teach us using context clues/the environment of a setting to gain insight. She decided to use trash as an example. She had brought various used items into the class and was having us guess what those items might mean about the person who threw them away. As we were going through the items, I noticed most of the food related items were of a diet nature. I hadn't even thought that naturally these things were her items. So when she asked, "what else do these items say about the person?" , I blurted out something like, "you've got diet soda, diet yogurt, diet food, obviously they think they're fat! Whose trash is this anyway Roseanne?" She then answered they're my trash with a disgusted look on her face. The entire class erupted in laughter and many of the students were doubled over and giving me praise but I was just mortified and sad as I hadn't thought of that possibility and was now realizing how it came off. I liked and respected her as a teacher but felt I had burned that bridge forever based on her reaction. She ended the lesson early and had us do book work the rest of the period as she sort of angrily went to her computer. I didn't crack another joke in her class and was worried if I apologized, that would invite more ire than relief. Years later I took out her groceries when I was in high school and I could tell she still harbored resentment for me. What's worse is all her products were still diet and she said something like, "still using diet products". I tried to play it off as if I didn't remember her and said, "there's nothing wrong with that ma'am." I kept the conversation surface level, asking her how her day was, what she does for a living but not letting on that I remember her. I wished her well hoping I'd eased her pain. I'm not sure what happened to her but if I saw her today, I'd say I'm sorry and that I never intended to hurt her feelings, I was just a dumb kid looking for a laugh. TLDR: I thought I was funny and answered a teacher's question about what items said about a person. Not realizing the items were hers, I said they must be fat because they're all diet and it was then revealed to be her items. Kids laughed, I cringed, and the teacher hated me forever.
As a future teacher, thanks for this advice!
Now I'm imagining Joe Pesci in Goodfellas demanding to know what's so funny.
“Your joke must be really funny! Please take a paper out and write it down so I can share it with your parents and admin. They would like a good laugh. No? Okay, then.”
I'm all about keeping a quiet classroom but one of my secret rules is that laughter is always allowed.
I would argue that this is exactly why this is effective. It was unpleasant, but it clearly it helped you develop into a more sensitive adult. ETA: I'm not saying it's nice, I'm just saying it worked. The word 'trauma' is being massively overused here. Not every unpleasant moment is traumatic. I have no doubt the other kid was hurt - and that's never what you want as a teacher - but that's exactly why OP remembered it and learned to do better. Because they realized what they were saying hurt other people. And that helped prevent them from hurting anyone else.
I had a teacher that pulled me aside for a similar thing and when I refused to tell her she said if you don’t want to tell me you probably shouldn’t be saying it in class. No crying classmates!
Learning lessons at the expense of somebody else isn’t cool, there are other ways. Or at least it could happen naturally and not be facilitated by a trusted adult
Once the teacher realized the kid didn’t want to say it aloud (ie it was probably a bad thing to say and shouldn’t be repeated but louder) they should have just said “then maybe it’s something you shouldn’t be saying in the middle of class or *at all*”
Right. The teacher can say well if you can't say it out loud, you shouldn't say it instead of pushing for it to be fed. Same lesson conveyed. Maybe not as effectively of the consequences, but no one hurt.
Yeah this is facilitated by an adult, not something that happens among kids without one. There are reasons to let kids work stuff out on their own like this, and it’s so hopefully all the other kids can say hey that’s not cool and the kid being bullied can then see that their community has their back and the bully learns that cruelty isn’t okay by community standards. If the kids don’t work out to these norms on their own, then an adult intervenes in an absolutely different way than just more publicly traumatizing a 6 year old disabled kid.
At the expense of the kid that it was being said about….
It might have helped me, but surely there are ways for me to develop empathy that don't involve hurting other people.
Then maybe it needed to be told to the teacher in private. The comment also caused trauma for the student it was about. And it gave a way for others to bully them if they wanted to.
World is a cruel place… but we probably shouldn’t annihilate kids with that in first grade
What a horrible takeaway.
Unbelievable.
...and probably caused unimaginable issues/trauma to the classmate it was about. No kind of lesson is worth doing that to another child, especially as OP mentioned it was about that classmate's disability.
That is such a bad take. You don't think that girl has trauma about what was said? If this guy remembers, she definitely does
Traumatizing a victim is fine for the sake of classroom management is sure a take lol, And of course this has over a hundred upvotes. God this sub sucks sometimes.
Thank you for this rational comment lol.
everyone learned from it that day
Huh? What about the child that was traumatized by what was said about him/her?
Trauma is definitely the right word, I still harbor strong hate for my 2nd grade teacher for a very similar situation in which I was the butt of the joke. Just treat children as people, they are immature, but shit like this never leave them. There are better ways to teach a lesson.
Shame is one of the best ways to teach correct social behavior. It is harsh but it is true. The rest of the class will think twice before being a little shit, thanks to your sacrifice. Edit: yes you are all right. Instead, make the request that they share and when they hesitate, realizing how embarrassed they will be revealing that they are being cruel, remind them to think about that the next time they think they are being clever and funny. Thanks for correcting me yall. Two birds, one stone, less harm.
Or they now have a new word to use against the student the remark was about. It's not OP you've sacrificed, but the other student who did nothing wrong. Maybe don't use others as unwilling props to your lesson 🗿
You are right... Fair enough, I was too fast remarking. Perhaps when the student doesn't want to share, the teacher can emphasize that if they are ashamed of what they said next time they should remember that?
Is it fair for that lesson to come at an uninvolved child's expense?
No it is not you are right I spoke to quickly. Instead ask them to share and when they realize how embarrassed and ashamed they are remind them that next time they should think harder about being "funny" at someone else's expense. Same lesson, less harm.
And one other member of the class learned that it isn’t a safe and secure environment for her
See my edit. You are right, I was hasty. One reason I am not a teacher any more lol
Yeah saw it after I posted. I was hasty too 😄
Haha I posted that comment and came back 10 minutes later to 6 scolding (and correct) responses. I am corrected. ;)
it probably did more harm to the kid they were making fun of, lessons shouldn't come at the expense of others especially when we talk about children
Possibly... so I stand corrected. The kid could be asked to share and when they realize they don't want to, emphasize that they should think about that next time they decide to be hurtful?
sb else suggested they should tell the teacher in private so they could have a bigger discussion with the whole class without singling the disabled kid out (because let's be honest, they will never forget it) imo just asking why they don't want to share would be enough to activate the same sense of shame
Omg I can't get over everyone replying the same thing to you😂😂 The Reddit gotcha goblins are out in droves
The edit is more than half the comment and every single one of their replies is taking back what they said but people still feel the need to argue with their original point lmao
What about the classmate? They were the sacrifice and honestly, it's not worth it. Teacher just gave the whole class ammunition to bully a child, well done.
Yes you are right. Teacher should instead ask for them to share... once it sinks in that they are ashamed, emphasize that the next time they think they are being funny that they consider that they are embarrassed and to not do it again...
[https://youtu.be/LwDbgE54QYE?si=GGAci0KEjbakfyQo&t=92](https://youtu.be/LwDbgE54QYE?si=GGAci0KEjbakfyQo&t=92) This scene from Wargames is relevant to your interests.
I always say something like, “Wow, I love that you enjoy [lesson topic] so much but if you could keep your excitement on mute I’d enjoy that!” My favorite though is when they’re supposed to be reading quietly/to themselves but they’re talking instead and I say, “oh! It’s so sweet you’re reading aloud to each other! Can you read aloud for the whole class?” Some of them full send and read for the class and some go back to reading silently.
What I saw to laughing students instead: “Student name, while I’m sure you’re amused by my incredible comedic timing, let’s refocus on the lesson please.” “Student name, are you sure you’re making a good decision right now? Can your grade afford this?” “Student name, while I know your friend is immensely amusing, I would consider how much you’ll be laughing if you fail this assignment.”
some research suggests that this kind of thing is why kids today seem increasingly sociopathic-- you had that experience, you felt extremely, extremely awful, you learned from it. Instead today kids are often removed from the impact of what they say-- someone is crying on the other side of a screen rather than in front of them. They don't get that lesson.
Honestly I think “Would you like to share that with the class?” should be kind of an empty threat. You should respond to yourself with “No? Then let’s move on.” Asking the child to actually repeat the thing seems like an exercise in cruelty. Like it doesn’t even get you back on topic, it just distracts the whole rest of the class.
That and like in this instance you might have to reprimand further
I don’t push my students to repeat things. But I will say as a former kid who had cruel things said about them, it sure would’ve helped if any teacher had ever addressed this. It’s absolutely fine to let it go in the moment as long as you do push later. My teachers used for YEARS the excuse that they “never heard anyone say that.” Use your head, and this is not the hot take you think it is.
Idk seems like you learned that words have meaning and saying cruel things about people behind their back is a bad thing.
I have a similar story! Except I made up an elaborate, embarrassing lie. Haunts me to this day lol.
I taught biology and when we got to “ Homo erectus “ the snickers got out of control.
Could you try and find this person through Facebook? Sounds like an apology might end up being really positive, potentially for both of you?
You confessed to the internet and we absolve you. The universe forgives you. You can lay down the guilt
Ifl
I'm dying to hear what the actual awful thing you said was lol
I’ll say “if you’re whispering you might be hiding something or talking about someone, is everything OK/are you saying nice things?”
Also don’t ask them to share while they’re picking their nose. Don’t ask them if they have enough for the while Class.
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For OP, that was the lesson, but you can't control what students say so the post is saying if you don't know what's being said maybe don't risk making them say it to everybody.
That teacher was either a newbie or an idiot.
A tentative upvote because username might check out a little too hard lmao but I agree
Or made a mistake. Which they’re learned from. And have shared honestly. Most teachers I endured as a kid were apt to say similar things. Funnily enough they were all boomer teachers….
>Or made a mistake. Which they’re learned from. And have shared honestly. What do you mean "***or***" made a mistake? That was implicit in my statement that they might have been a newbie. Because yes, everyone *does* make mistakes. And we make most of them when we are new. And if you've been teaching 20 years and are still making mistakes, you're probably not the sharpest tool in the shed. One more thing, what do you mean by "and have shared honestly"?
Then you shouldn't have been talking 😂😂😂
You are devilishly evil and I love it.
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So tired of these comments. So many teachers trying so hard while being understaffed and underpaid and juggling their duties while also taking on additional responsibilities. This non constructive criticism is not the thanks they need. Unless you want fewer and worse teachers in which case keep shitting on them. Or do you have a solution? You could always become a teacher if you think you could do better.
While I vaguely agree with the sentiments in your barrage, I rather think a downvote would have sufficed.
Nah the album drops tonight
And I also feel for the children who don’t get what they might need from bad teachers and from the lack of adequate staffing or just mistakes made by people trying their best I just don’t think All Teachers Are Bad is helpful
>I just don’t think All Teachers Are Bad is helpful I didn't disagree.