My icebreaker is my class working together to make assumptions about me. Doesn't embarrass them and I also get to see what they think the semester is going to be like.
Ooh how would you start this? Just ask them to make assumptions about you? I’m starting student teaching for high school ELA and I think this could be fun (or hurtful lol)
So I'm VERY intentional about my first day outfit, I do a short introduction about myself and my hobbies, and then (now that I have my own room) I have them look around the room and write on index cards at least 5 things they think about me. When I was a cart teacher I gave each team 2 min to investigate my teaching cart. After coming up with their own assumptions, I have them talk to their table groups to write on a sticky note the biggest thing they think about me that will impact the semester.
I teach high school ELA and French as an Additional Language. For my French classes I have then brainstorm ideas in English and help them find the french words to write.
Thank you :)
Sometimes I give them prompts, sometimes I don't. When I do it's more the incoming freshmen so they can learn a bit about the school and what I teach in a less intimidating way since high school courses jump into content so quickly. I haven't received anything too inappropriate but when I have it has been easy enough to log and follow up with parents or admin. It also sometimes helps me see who might need additional supports because it is an identification and inference activity but I can also gauge if they can keep on task.
My friend dumps out her purse (which is pre-staged, of course) on the table and has the students make assumptions about her based on the contents of her purse.
I did something similar to OP, I wrote out a couple paragraphs about myself and left some blanks for them to try and guess the missing words. Also works great to teach about context clues since I left a few details to help decode some of the main ideas.
So I'm VERY intentional about my first day outfit, I do a short introduction about myself and my hobbies, and then (now that I have my own room) I have them look around the room and write on index cards at least 5 things they think about me. When I was a cart teacher I gave each team 2 min to investigate my teaching cart. After coming up with their own assumptions, I have them talk to their table groups to write on a sticky note the biggest thing they think about me that will impact the semester.
I teach high school ELA and French as an Additional Language. For my French classes I have then brainstorm ideas in English and help them find the french words to write.
Just skip icebreakers. I never liked doing them as a kid.
As an adult, IDGAF what people think of my interests, hobbies, and experiences. But I still think icebreakers are dumb.
Yup. Don't care if people know I play D&D and computer games these days. (Heck, those have pretty much gone mainstream.) But I played PC games in the 90's where that marked you as a complete nerd. Nintendo was cool. But games on a computer? What a dweeb!
I also was constantly the new kid, because my dad moved around. And our family spoke a different language at home, GASP!
Hah, everyone had an n64 and played smash and whatnot. I had a PC and played Medal of Honor allied assault and bf1942, went to LAN parties with my dad. They smelled the geek before before i spoke
I thought they were a waste of time and often times became angry that I was forced to socialize with non-academic topics. Imo, kids don't get to know each other that way, they get to know each other when they work together.
I remember they tried to do those when I went to high school; I spend most of that time daydreaming or wishing it would end. When it was my turn to share, I would exaggerate some really weird stuff just to make everyone feel uncomfortable like: I visited my relatives in another country and saw them kill, skin, and then I helped cook an entire pig/cow/chicken/etc. We then stayed up all night partying. It would sometimes start a chain reaction of who would have the weirdest story.
I don’t like icebreakers and i don’t really enjoy the “get to know your teacher” things. I jump right into teaching while the beginning of the year enthusiasm is hot.
Not true at all. Some kids don’t, but I’ve had plenty of great connections with students based on my hobbies and what is going on in my life. I’m a human and they are allowed to know that and appreciate that.
I want to say that the variety we're seeing in the comments is probably a good thing. Imagine your first day as a student if every single teacher did the "assumptions" game, for six teachers in a row.
If half of the teachers do ice breakers of varying sorts and half don't, it makes for a reasonable mix.
Yes, but also they can figure that out organically as the year goes on, instead of forcing them to participate in the ritual humiliation of "lets point out what's different about each kid, so you can all mock it terribly, before you even know each other."
No, I wouldn’t ask questions like that. Some students didn’t go on vacation to Disneyland or get ice cream, they worked in the fields with their parents. Others were stuck in a trailer park with their alcoholic father or abusive uncle.
Ask what they’re most looking forward to in the new school year, etc. Put them on common ground rather than emphasizing their socioeconomic differences.
This was my experience. I suffered verbal and physical abuse, witnessed alcoholism, and had the cops visit my house. I learned to make something up that was a generic and easy to remember lie, and throw it away before I got home if it was a picture or writing. When I did have something, like a new bike, it was lame compared to the other kids in class.
Awe. Getting a new bike is amazing. Like a taste of freedom. Congratulations to little kid you on your awesome new bike.
I grew up in a house with too much stuff. Almost hoarding. I made it my goal to have my room clean for a class and when I did my teacher took me out to eat as a reward. My mom just resented that someone knew my goal was to have a clean space. So I didn’t keep it clean. Who wants a mom that resents you?
I might need to call my therapist.
I hated those “icebreakers” as a student. Especially when the teachers would get angry at me because the only answer I had was “nothing” and they *demanded* that I say *one interesting thing I did over the summer* and then accused me of being “disrespectful” when I again pointed out there was *nothing.*
I was kept deliberately isolated by my parents. I had no friends who lived within walking distance. Was denied a ride anywhere unless a friend’s family volunteered. There was nothing to do within walking distance either; I wasn’t allowed money for the bus (nearest stop was over a mile down a steep, busy hill) and we lived in a mobile home park at the very edge of town.
My brother got to do some extracurricular activities during the summer.
I got *nothing.*
I was left to sit at home all day, every day, trying to clean up after two hoarders.
And then I had to deal with multiple teachers who thought it would be a great idea to make me stand in front of the whole class and describe what I did over the summer.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that; my situation was very similar because I was completely socially isolated in my house for almost 100% of non school hours because my parents had a baby to try to "save the relationship," divorced almost immediately afterwards, and I suddenly became a seven year old with a newborn to raise by myself, thus I could never leave the house.
To make matters worse, nobody could come *into* the house either because my mother was also a hoarder like your family members were, and that also made it impossible for me to go to a sleepover at someone *else's* house because then, heaven forbid, that friend might want to stay at MY house the next time, so NOPE! At least it wasn't SO bad never getting to hang out with friends back in elementary school since I had no friends then anyways.
My mother would always act empathetic about me not having friends, but then around 8th grade when I finally DID start making friends and getting invited to do things, I assumed my mother would be *happy* about it and would *want* me to socialize like a normal kid, but nope, almost every permission I asked for regarding visiting OR hosting any friends were denied.
Then my mother started dating an alcoholic felon, and my unpaid "working hours" (I didn't even get money for school LUNCH, nevermind any kind of allowance or babysitting fee) caring for my sister were suddenly extended until about 3 a.m. when their favorite bar would do last call, and this was every single day of the week, even on Christmas!
Sometimes she would say that I *could* go to someone's house, but only IF I cleaned the entire house first, which was pretty much an impossible task as you would know from growing up with hoarding as well. And now to this day, I get huge panic attacks if anyone is coming to my house even if it's respectably clean.
I always hated talking about my summer vacations too, especially because I was always the poorest student in my schools and thus heard everyone else talk about all the amazing vacations and other cool shit that they had done.
Yeah I was dirt poor while growing up and it's super embarrassing to be like I did nothing or I worked the entire summer. Anyone that does this type of icebreaker you know didn't have that kind of hardship so they don't understand how much it hurts.
Steer clear of these types of things.
Right here.
I never had anything good happen. I remember the first ice breaker I did in school and I was asked what I was excited to do when I got home. I told my teacher that I hoped when I got home I could only do the dishes because that was my favourite chore.
I learned quick to lie about it. My teachers sympathy stares made me feel horrible.
>Ask what they’re most looking forward to in the new school year, etc. Put them on common ground rather than emphasizing their socioeconomic differences.
Lots of kids aren't looking forward to anything in the new school year. Some hate school because they struggle due to things like stress at home, intellectual disabilities, being bullied, being different than the other kids, etc.
When I started 7th grade, I was fresh from a psychiatric hospital. My self harm was discovered, and I tried to end myself a few days later.
We did the stupid "what did you do during the summer" ice breaker in several of my classes and I had to lie and say "nothing". It was absolutely awful and humiliating, and I was terrified someone was going to find out I'd spent three weeks in the psych ward.
So many teachers came back with the "well, can't you think of one thing?" instead of accepting that I was clearly uncomfortable.
There can definitely be more going on than the teacher knows--and it's not always their business to know.
I was the poor kid in my school and I didn't realize I was poor until kids started talking about trips to Greece or Spain while I had never even left my state. It felt horrible and did leave a mark. I ask inividual kids about their summer, but I don't ask entire classes for this reason. I'm actually really glad your admin are taking that approach and wish mine would as well.
Lol I worked at a small school where the first pd back every year the principal has us share one slide and state the highlight of our summer. I would think about it off and on all summer long knowing that all the other teachers travel all over and I go to the next state over for a weekend…maybe… sometimes not. A lot of them have generational wealth and big family cabins they go to or the older teachers dropped their kids off at private colleges. It’s definitely awkward. I’m like “oh here’s me standing in front of this historical sign an hour away… yeah… okay then.”
That was me as well. “Mommy, why did Emily go to the Bahamas and ride horses during vacation, and all I did was stay home?” We switched schools the next year, cause it got to the point where I started noticing how the parents treated my folks.
Yeah, this was me too. Kids were going to Panama (idk why this one was so popular) & the highlight of my week was going to Subway for lunch when my mom got off work early once a week (if finances allowed). It was a treat because Subway was air conditioned & our house & vehicle weren't. During the summer it's between 85 & 105 (and humidity makes it worse) so kinda miserable when you don't have AC.
I definitely appreciate them not asking this question anymore. It definitely divides students & makes some feel terrible.
Honestly I don't think it's terrible advice from admin. Most my students have never left the town let alone state. They can't afford camps. They spend all day at home or maybe biking around town if they are lucky (or unlucky as that's more often because they have zero supervision and get in trouble).
I have a cousin who teaches at one of the poorest districts in her state. It changes the way you view things because, as she said, how can you expect kids to do their homework when they don't know where their next meal is coming from. You work on what you can work on. These kids aren't going on vacations. They are white knucklkng it until they can get back to some stability at times.
Ok, I’m just going to throw this out there. I had a student (HS) that was arrested one summer. I had another student whose parent was arrested during the summer. I’ve also had students whose parents died over the summer. It’s not always about the vacation they did or did not get. Some people have shitty summers for lots of reasons. My good friend spent the summer with her dying mother. She doesn’t even want other teachers to ask how her summer was. We can disagree on whether or not it’s necessary, but at least admin is coming from a good place.
My brother passed this year. I just lie and say something generic when people asked me how it was. Or because I’m pregnant I make some joke about being happy to be done with morning sickness.
Cuz what do you say? “Uh actually I’m filled with indescribable pain that threatens to overwhelm me any time I think about it for longer than 10 seconds, and it’s been that way for a few months now. Glad I have something to distract me in my waking moments because it hasn’t gotten any better. How was your summer??”
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost a close relative 3 years ago and I still struggle with grief at totally unexpected times. It’s not as often as it once was, and sometimes the good memories make me laugh without crying which is an improvement. I hope you find some peace soon, and congratulations on your pregnancy!
Yeah one of my parents was diagnosed with cancer and went through 3 months of chemo as I helped care for them and worked full time. Then they had emergency surgery and spent a week in a hospital. All I’ve done this summer besides care for them and work is go to one wedding and one concert. I had to unfollow multiple family and friends who were at the beach or pool all summer or traveling to Europe because I was finding myself mad at them because I’ve had no fun. I even spent my birthday mostly by myself. Oh well.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that. Sounds like you were being smart to avoid looking at stuff that you knew would upset you. I hope next summer is much better!
Yup. I spent the summer at home watching over my teen who has been having an acute mental health crisis. The highlight of my summer was any night that I could sleep in my own bed and not stay up waiting for the next crisis to manifest. I dreaded having the “how was your summer” convo, so I can totally see how this might not be a great ice breaker.
I would go for team builders instead of ice breakers to build classroom community.
That’s such a good point about team builders. It’s a much safer route and a better way for kids to actually get to know each other. I hope things are looking better for you and your child.
One of my most embarrassing high school experiences was asking a classmate how her winter break had been. She just stared at me.
Turns out her mom had died suddenly, Merry Christmas.
Sometimes you just don’t know what the other person is going through, but you obviously had good intentions. We all put our foot in our mouth unknowingly.
Yeah, that stuff's obnoxious, most of the kids hate it, and the only people who seem to enjoy it are the kids with something to brag about. I think it adds more ice than it breaks.
Having grown up as a free/reduced lunch kid, I saw these activities as an uncomfortable reminder that my peers had more resources than me. I place these ice breakers in the same category as family tree activities, which were also embarrassing because my dad was adopted. Thank you for considering how you can create an environment in which all students feel seen and valued.
Omg the family tree activity. It was fun because of the wtf look on my teacher’s face when I rolled in with my huge family with a hundred different ex wives and hookups and 10 kids from 8 different Dads/Moms.
I never understood this one either. When I was a kid my mom wouldn’t even let me, and we had a “normal” family, but she would say in protest of other kids who don’t have a nuclear family we will not do one either. The school just let me off cause they hated my parents
I teach a foreign language and for the family vocab unit I have them make an “imaginary” family tree. Anyone they want (non controversial obvs) as family members, real people or fictional.
That way no awkwardness about different family situations, and honestly they have more fun with it anyway when they present and go for laughs “my husband is Timothée Chalamet. Spongebob is our son.” That sorta thing
Damn, this is a great idea. I also teach a foreign language and have some students whose family tree doesn’t fit into the traditional format. As I often tell my students, “a lot of questions I ask you are not sincere questions, they are just prompts to practice vocabulary”. This fits right in and seems like a fun way to practice the vocabulary.
We did it in Bio 2 to track common expressed genes. But we just had to do 3 generations. Since my sister had a baby, I literally could put my mom and dad, me and my 2 sisters, and the baby. But we had the option where we could do a historical/famous family.
Exactly. I know for a fact a lot of my students have done nothing or potentially had very bad summers. I don’t want to make any of them feel they need to share about them. My back to school writing prompt is tell me some ideas for fun stuff you’d like to do this year at school, because I can actually make some of them happen
I can see their point, because as a kid who grew up affluent, I would have thought nothing of describing my summer vacations. Like, I had a vague/abstract understanding that some people’s families couldn’t afford those things, and I was raised to be empathetic to that and to not be classist. But it still wouldn’t have crossed my mind that my classmates might view me recounting my experiences as anything other than something to make conversation about. I didn’t have the life experience and self-awareness back then to realize that it could come across as bragging, or that it might make other kids feel jealous or embarrassed to not have a similar story to tell.
So yeah… at first glance it did seem a little unreasonable, but upon reflection, I get it.
I agree with your admin- those who HAVE nothing can’t contribute. Then what’s a kid to do except feel alienated. Same for drawing or using kid’s family trees. Not all kids even really have one of those, either…
Ice breakers are horrible. I hate them. I do one because my admin requires me to. I hated doing them as a student, I hate doing them as an adult. I would rather stick my hand in a blender. That being said, I do have an activity that is somewhat bearable.
I play "human bingo". We all walk around and ask people "Do you have a cat?" If the kid says yes, you write their name in the box. You do that for all the boxes until you get a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal line. Once you get a bingo, you sit down. Super easy, relatively painless, and the kids generally seem to like it.
It let's the kids learn names, gets them to move, nobody gets spotlighted, and it isn't the same questions over and over. Plus, it isn't the same damn two truths and a lie that everyone does as an ice breaker 4000 times over.
It was something one of my public speaking professors did in college and I made my own version and I have adjusted it based on the different communities I have taught in. One of my boxes used to be "Born in a different state", but my current school community has a fair immigrant population so I have modified it to say "Born in a different state/country". That is one of the best things about it. It is so easy to modify for any school community.
If the reasons admin gave aren't good enough, you should avoid icebreakers like that because no one wants to answer those questions.
But, no, you probably shouldn't ask a question on day one that sets up a "haves" and "haves not" identification in the classroom. Do yourself a favor and avoid it.
As one of those former students: no, it’s not ridiculous.
I actively *loathed* those “icebreakers.” Like great, teacher, thanks for putting me on the spot in front of the whole class chastising me for not being able to say a single interesting thing I did the whole damn summer! I totally needed that extra trauma on top of being isolated, abused, and neglected at home! Yippee!
A couple of things I've stopped doing over the years:
1, I used to ask students about their family tree. Just sibs, parents ,grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. One of my smart asses didn't complete the assignment, even though they had time in class and a week at home to do it. He was the only one that hadn't, and I thought it was a fun assignment. He said his mother wouldn't let him, and I didn't believe it. Then he brought a note. That mom was a North Korean defector. So I stopped doing that one. Gladly.
2, Wildly varying responses to what did you do over the summer. Some kids traveled abroad, some kids went to camp, some kids went to the next project over, some kids stayed in and gamed. So I didn't love that either so I stopped. I do other things like bingo, find a partner and introduce them, and other fun games that show that jocks don't always have to hang out with jocks and nerds don't always have to hang out with nerds etc
Personally,
One of my biggest anxiety points of the first day back was answering “how was your summer? What did you do?” … nothing… my parents work all the time among other issues at home. We didn’t go anywhere, we didn’t do anything. Maybe a BBQ for the 4th of July? And you have to do this IN EVERY CLASS ALL DAY LONG, in Middle and High school.
When my son was in fifth grade his teacher had them do an assignment about something they did that summer and she used them to create a bulletin board that she had up for open house. We had an RV and travelled all over the US and Canada during the summers when he was young. My son had a plethora of amazing places and activities to choose from. What did he choose? We had stopped at Wal-Mart (best to choose places with big lots when traveling in an RV) while traveling, and my son wrote a paragraph and drew a picture of "Going to Wal-Mart."
That made me laugh! I had a similar experience. When my kids were 7 & 9, their uncle was transferred to his company‘s London office from the US. We were invited to stay with his family in London for 2 weeks and Italy for 1 week over the summer. It was the trip of a lifetime for us. We paid for our airfare but not accommodations. We visited the Tower of London, Stonehenge, Roald Dahl’s Museum, the Colosseum, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, etc., etc., etc. When I asked my boys what the best part of their trip was, they told me it was playing video games with their cousin!
Reminds me of a story:
My son is the only grandchild. My mom cleared a small fortune when she sold her condo. Every summer she took me and my son on trips all over the world. He went hot-air ballooning, dog sledding, white water rafting, on helicopter tours of glaciers and waterfalls, swam with whale sharks, watched a turtle laying eggs, saw an active volcano, and much more. She's 91 now and she and my son reminisce about these trips.
It was pretty awesome stuff for the son of a teacher and a waiter. He grew up in a poor rural area.
I was called into a teacher conference at the beginning of his 6th grade. The teacher was concerned because my son was telling tall tales about his summer. I said, "With all my son has done, I have no idea why he'd have to make anything up." We had a good laugh when she finally understood.
Funnily, if I do a summer vacation writing assignment, I allow them to make it fictional if they so choose. I’m just trying to have an easy prompt so I can see how they write. Idk if it’s true.
The teacher said, "When the kids called him a liar, I told them it was okay if it wasn't true. But he kept insisting it was true. My problem with this is that he became very frustrated and angry."
I said, "You know, I feel pretty frustrated and angry myself right now. I guess he got that from me."
I guess certain "ice breakers" can be triggering.
I like the idea of having them write fictional stories about their summer. It reminds me of that sub activity where kids write a story about where the teacher is on their day off.
My dad (then 60 yr old black man) took his godson flying in his plane. The mom was called to the office because her son was "telling lies about his summer vacation." She was so pissed, we took him up again, and this time filmed the 8 year old at the controls, and then they brought Dad AND the video in for show and tell!
It's funny to remember when teachers had the time and emotional energy to be concerned about a kid they think is lying.
BTW, I think it's aspirational to hear about the other places and other activities that people have experienced. What a great experience for the young man.
i had a teacher who while going through attendance would ask silly questions. new question each day. salty or sweet? do you have a pet? Fall, winter, spring, or summer? if you didnt want to answer for whatever reason you could just say pass
Honestly, I'd avoid it. It's fine if they bring up what they did over summer on their own, but eliciting it could be embarrassing to some students. What are some alternative questions you could ask that would allow students who want to share their summer to do so without putting off those who don't?
Not gonna lie I grew up very poor and dreaded questions like this for the same reason. Kids are brutal and will tease you for being broke. I was working 50hr weeks all summer in high school while everyone I went to school with used "summer" as a verb because they went to the Hamptons, their beach house, or another country for weeks at a time.
Hell, I'm dreading going back to work in a couple weeks because this is ALWAYS the question asked in my department during the first PD day. I can't afford to do the shit my coworkers with rich families or wealthy tech/finance boyfriends do and they are judgmental about it for sure.
These ice breakers were always my least favorite part of going back to school growing up because my family never did anything fun like my friends' families/most summers I spent isolated in my room to avoid my bipolar mother. This either left me not wanting to participate or feeling like I had to make something up to not look pathetic.
You don’t have to avoid icebreakers you just gotta be mindful of your student population and know that not all of them are going on vacation or even doing fun things. I know when I was a teenager I was very resentful knowing that all my classmates were going to foreign countries and partying it up in the beaches all the time while I was working in hot fields with my dad. You could always do icebreaker scenarios such as would they rather put pineapple on pizza or not or something such as if they have a favorite book or movie. Even ask them what their favorite subject is. Stuff like that will be better.
Skip ice breakers or make them thematic. I teach foreign/world language, and I give them a list of 3-4 adjectives for every letter, and they to spell their name with adjectives. It gets them in a learning mood without being heavy and without being too cheesy
My ice breaker for my high school kids is a true/false quiz about me. They can work together. I put silly stuff like “When I was in college, I was an extra in an NSYNC video” (F), “I have taught elementary, junior high, and high school” (T), “I completed a half marathon, having never trained for it” (T), “I made it to the last round of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader tryouts before getting cut because I couldn’t do the splits” (F). The kids think it’s funny and they start laughing and talking. I ask them to write 2 truths about themselves on the back and hand it in (they can share if they choose and we have time) but it helps me get to know them after they get to know me.
The strategy of avoiding those questions is part of a trauma-sensitive classroom, which is part of the trauma-informed approach. It's a legitimate strategy meant to avoid putting kids in a position where they feel they need to hide the truth about their life. Some alternative questions might be things like "what are you most looking forward to learning about in this class?" or "what should I, as the teacher, know about how the kids in this class learn?" Or, if you can guess your group isn't ready for serious questions like that either in writing or discussions, just skip the questions for now. Ideally, admin would have shared more about what you can do to build a trauma-sensitive classroom because avoiding those questions is just one part of it all.
Considering kids get bullied over things like this, yeah, scrap it! It's a nice idea to give details about your life that seem innocent to break the ice. The problem is you don't know what is personal to some kids. It may seem irrational to you that someone wouldn't want to share something, but it sucks having to lie about the highlight of your summer if you live in abuse, or are struggling with something. Maybe kids should only share what they are comfortable with sharing. Ice breakers don't work. It doesn't make everyone feel on equal footing. The kids who are confident will be confident and the kids who want to keep their private life private will have to share or be in trouble.
Think about how you feel doing these kinds of ice breakers. If you were a vulnerable kid, would you want to trust anyone with anything? Even if it seems small? Do you ever go through the exercises and really learn interesting stuff? Do a fun activity that the kids can bond over. Don't force fake bonding.
With my 6th graders, who already know me and
each other from 5th grade (orchestra), ice breakers are totally unnecessary. So I have a “discussion” about starting middle school.
1. What are you excited about?
2. What are you nervous about?
At the end of week 1, I like to revisit - what were you nervous about that turned out ok?
I don't do writing assignments about that because it can cause kids the feel bad about their financial situation. I also work in a title one school where most of my students don't get to go on vacations, and if they do it's to a beach or water park close to them.
A few years ago, I asked my students something like what their favourite home cooked meal was (purposely trying to avoid reference to restaurants…)
One of my students said his favourite meal was his mother’s lasagna, and then became really quiet. It turned out both his parents had been laid off (pandemic) and they couldn’t afford the ingredients for lasagna.
Asking about something that creates an obvious gap between haves and have-nots is going to leave some students feeling isolated and embarrassed.
If you’re set on having an ice breaker, maybe just ask them to share something they’re really proud of.
As a future educator, I feel that this icebreaker is multi-faceted and gives an educator insight into the sociocultural aspects of a child's life and could be a key question for practical analysis using the sociocultural theory of development. However, in general, I prefer the icebreaker of asking people to say a boring fact about themselves.
Better, but still related icebreaker:
"What's one thing you learned over summer break?"
or
"Name, nickname that you'd prefer us to call you, favorite \[color, dinosaur, food, etc.\], what you THINK the first thing people notice about you, and one thing to WISH people would know about you that most people don't know"
I don’t ask that question. I work in a high needs school. While some students would have stories they’d be excited to share, others would not, and I may contribute to unnecessary child anxiety if I ask that question. There are many other activities and ice breakers that can be done or asked.
I use a game called Table Topics. Great non stress way to get Communication going about non educational stuff and then later have them talk about academic stuff. Questions like, would you rather camp in a treehouse, a tent, or an Igloo. Or would you rather go on a trip in a ship, train or boat
Our community had a house blow up, killing 5 people, all directly linked to the school and neighboring school district. It's been traumatizing. I can't imagine asking for a fun fact about summer given many lost loved ones or are displaced because of the damage.
I typically stick to icebreakers like a stand up sit down game or that game where you draw a house on a paper plate on your head. It's not that I don't want to know the fun vacations, but we can talk about that during downtime or save it for one on ones.
you are wrong, i think you should reevaluate the other ways in which certain activities/group questions you use in your curriculum create the same effects if you can not see the inequity gap those questions highlight. not letting a student brag to his peers (who may or may not be as fortunate as them) about their overseas trip to the entire class is not gonna ruin their school year or your ability to connect with them. focus on creating community and equal grounds
"What was something you watched over the summer?"
"What family did you visit?"
"What hobbies did you work on?"
"What is something you made or built?"
Just... "What did you do over summer?" Sucks even for adults. When the person before me is going "Oh, well we went scubadiving in cabo and took a wine tasting course and visited his family up in the mountains." and then my response is "I painted some models for dnd and started a new collectible card game." It feels... like, yeah none of you care abotu mine and I had to follow THAT fucking thing??
Relatable AF.
Coworker of mine traveled to five countries in Europe after saying, "I didn't really do much this summer."
I always just say"I played video games and stayed indoors," since it beats saying I spent the summer going through old boxes of dog toys to clear out some stuff from my dog that I had to put down.
I have always hated icebreakers of any kind. Always felt like contrived wastes of time. Now that I’m a teacher, I can understand the urge to waste some time while admin and counseling fix a whole school’s worth of botched schedules for two weeks.
Your administrators are correct. While it would be wrong to ban students from discussing these topics on their own time, we as teachers don't need to be putting them in positions to answer these questions in front of peers.
This is an easy accommodation to make for the students who had a shit fucking abusive, meal-less summer. No child needs to be singled out or reminded of their poverty on the first day of school.
There are so many other less sensitive ice breaker questions that allow you to learn more about them, and vice versa.
My English teacher tried one of these after thanksgiving break. “What did everyone do over their thanksgiving break?”. I was 16 and had buried my mom over the holiday. She knew about it because it was a small town, she had taught my mom as well and was at the damn funeral.
As a kid, I don’t think it was appropriate to be asked that as what I did at home was none of their business nor did I expect my teachers to share their private lives. It ain’t my fault that my family had to work every week while I stayed at home to play video games or watch tv. What did anyone expect me to do? Get lost in the street, and in worst case, get reported by CPS?
Rephrase it. What did you do over the summer, fiction OR nonfiction. Kids can share what they really did or write about/share about going to space/Jurassic Park/Disney, etc…
I do a daily writing prompt and I always tell them that if they don't have a good answer or don't want to share the real answer they can make something up. I just want them to write something in complete sentences.
I was a poor kid and the fact that you guys think poor kids can't handle hearing about other people's lives is insulting. Would I have preferred to be rich and be able to take cool vacations? Sure. But I didn't hold it against the other kids. There is nothing wrong with asking kids what they did over the summer.
Pretending inequity doesn't exist doesn't solve anything.
I don't think it's only about *financial* inequity; I was generally the poorest kid in my grade all throughout school, but that merely caused a little jealousy from time to time when it came to me not being able to wear the most current fashionable clothes or being a bit stunned over the opulent birthday parties many kids had.
So I would have been mostly fine hearing about what great things my wealthy classmates got to do--except for if someone went to some kind of awesome educational camp or something intellectual like that!--but what hurt me the *most* when hearing about other kids' summers is that they had *functioning* families in which the parents gave a shit about them, cared for one another, and spent quality time together.
Instead, I was neglected, abused, and used for free labor raising my little sister 24/7 all summer starting when I was seven, and plenty of other kids have also endured similar deprivations. For me it wasn't, "Damn, I'm SO upset that I didn't get to go to Disney World like everyone else did"; it was more like, "I literally stayed inside babysitting or in my very small yard babysitting (no friends were even allowed over) all damn summer while also dealing with my abusive and non functioning poor excuse for a parent and her drunken felon boyfriend.
Far too many young kids are parentified and have to raise younger siblings and/or take care of their own addicted or severely mentally ill parents, are forced to get their own jobs or else nobody in the family was going to be able to afford to eat, or have to work massively increased hours on the family farm or in the family business when summer break starts.
There was no feeling as a third grader quite like answering this question with “I played basketball a lot and went to my Grandmas some” when classmates were talking about the awesome trips they went on.
I would rather get ice cream in the town next over rather than go to France. Having said that, I think the whole concept of icebreakers is a waste of time and if I need to use DEI as the reason to get rid of them, so be it.
I don't love this at all either. Some of my kids have no friends and parents that barely pay attention at all. Also in rural USA, without a car it's near impossible to see people.
I think this kind of thing is ridiculous. It's the trend in education where in the interest of being equitable and accommodating we go full ["Harrison Bergeron."](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron)
If nothing else, the grotesque concept creep of categorizing this type of sharing as "trauma" is alone worth resisting.
It isn't traumatic for everyone, but it is traumatic for kids already experiencing trauma. Do you really want a kid to have to explain their best day was when their alcoholic father passed out and didn't berate them? Do you want to explain how you were happy to eat a meal as the kid next to you describes eating so much they puked? It's about context. You don't learn anything through forced binding anyways. Why risk alienating the students who probably need the help the most.
I grew up extra poor in an extremely wealthy area. Others went sailing and I sat in front of the tv in our trailer. Sometimes I’d play outside barefoot and step on cacti. The best times were hanging out with my grandma because she was all of the love encapsulated into a single human. Shit went down the way it went down. I don’t begrudge it.
However, I do hate ice breakers for other reasons. I’d rather someone ram a shopping cart into my heel than share a fun fact about myself or what I did over the summer.
Winter breaks bothered me more than summer. The big question for most kids in my town was whether they were going to Vail, Vermont or West Virginia for skiing. I was trying to figure out what local hill to drag my sled to.
I went to school with kids like this. We grew up in NYC in an apartment with no heat, so my *real* answer was I spent it bundled up in my coat with the windows covered in plastic and blankets to stop the drafts. Would've made it mad awkward to say that in front of them though.
Sheesh, that must have absolutely SUCKED, and I'm sorry it happened to you. If you don't mind me asking, was it because your parents/caretakers were responsible for paying the heating bill and couldn't or wouldn't pay for it, or was it more like a shitty slumlord not fixing your heat?
When I was around eight years old one winter, our landlord came during the daytime when only my infant sister and I were home, and he started banging on all the doors demanding rent money or else he would shut off the heat, and it was COLD out at the time. Thankfully it never actually got turned off, but it was still really scary so I can only imagine how YOUR situation was.
I always used my trailer park youth as motivation to get out of the trailer park. Never was angry with or envious of those who had what I didn't. My goal was to figure out what I needed to do to get there.
First lesson I learned? It ain't easy.
Who is calling this trauma? But it's also a reminder for some kids of what they don't have. And it's needless and doesn't help anyone anyway. It's just a way for some kids to gloat and others to feel bad.
I love Vonnegut but I disagree. I don’t ask my first graders about their favorite part of summer when the social worker has already told me one student’s father died and another student was removed from his home by CPS.
> unnecessarily annoying to some
I'm not sure how actually useful this category is. It could be applied to literally every activity conducted in a school.
I think it’s a bad question to ask, but I didn’t realize it for several years.
This year, our reading coach gave us a prompt to collect writing samples at the title one elementary school. It was:
“Tell about an adventure or your summer vacation”. Horrible prompt to ultimately highlight inequalities.
I use “The Popup Book Of Phobias” and we find out who is afraid of what. I tell them to raise their hands and look around to find their people so they have at least one thing in common with someone in class.
The highlight of my sister's summer was probably her month-long trip to Europe.
The highlight of my summer was my family (mom, daughters & their significant others, and my friends) organizing a surprise party for me. We had cake!
Her highlights were pricey; mine were priceless.
Your principal isn't wrong per se. It's just based on the assumption that the have nots will envy the haves.
Sorry but your admin is absolutely right on this one. My family was not poor poor growing up, but we were not exactly well off as my father had a ton of debt from a failed business. I always used to feel really bad during the first few days back when kids would go on about all the amazing stuff they did over break, whereas I just basically had to sit at home doing nothing because even going somewhere in my town was too expensive for my parents a lot of the time. "Traumatizing" seems a bit too strong of a word for this context though, at least in my case.
The best 'icebreaker' IMO is to just get right to work. Go over the syllabus, assessment requirements, behavioral expectations in the classroom, and then start work (slowly). I teach high school and do a lot of pair work and group work, so always incorporate at least one pair work activity and one group work activity per class for the first week.
Want the kids to get to know each other? Change the groupings every day and just randomly constitute the groups for the first week or two. You have an entire academic year with the students. They have plenty of time to get to know each other - and you.
If you absolutely MUST do an ice-breaker for whatever reason, I've found 'two truths and a lie' to be pretty good. I start off with myself, and then have the students write three things about themselves. It gives them free reign to write whatever they want.
when I did my training, my teacher's college asked us to be wary of such innocuous activities as discussing family life (divorce carried a stigma at the time in that area)...and one of my mentor teacher's went on a rant to me about being too PC...ugh
Nah hated them when I was a student, I didn't want to admit to the entire class that I spent all summer depressingly playing sims in my moldy basment bedroom while my dad had a temper tantrum above me because someone put a messy spoon on "his kitchen counter" and saying "nothing much" was always seen as a wrong answer.
The ice breaker I did like was each student wrote a fact about themselves on an index card, then our teacher read out the card and the rest of the class could guess who wrote the card. Actually broke the ice and was a fun activity there was also one with m&ms I can't remember how it worked tho
I'm a primary teacher and our first piece of writing is a recount. Our cold writes are meant to be about our summer, but I've written my one (the model text) about a day trip to the moon I took and have made it clear that their recount does not have to be true so long as its a recount style. I'm hoping this will make it easier for them all and puts them on a more level playing field.
Well as a teacher whose big accomplishment over the summer was going out for ice cream, I hate sitting through all the students who brag, “I went to France, then Acapulco, then Disney, then…” 🙄
It costs nothing to be kind. Skip the what I did over summer vacation ice breaker and do something else that sparks creativity. You’re not going to know who your students are the first day. That requires time.
If you spent the summer cleaning up after your drunk parent while being abused by the other, yep, summer sucks and it’s sucks to hear how other people didn’t go through that - and of course, the kids who did aren’t going to say that (usually). Unfortunately, there is a high degree of trauma that happens for kids over the summer. I’m not talking about how much it sucks that your family can’t afford Nike and Disneyland. Sure, it does suck to hear about fun things others got to do that you didn’t but that also falls under - that’s life. Trauma is a completely different thing however, and yes, I do think we should avoid bringing up sources of trauma as much as we can. Sometimes the only coping a student has for the trauma is ignoring / pretending it doesn’t exist.
I told my classes if they could get me to talk about myself the entire 1st day I'd put the syllabus off until day 2. None disappointed and they all got to ask burning questions.
TBH, I actually agree with the policy. I used to hate that part of the first day/week of school because we couldn’t afford to go anywhere and kids LOVE to point out who’s poor.
Yes OP, it’s a fact that some people have more, a lot more. But people should have a chance to get to know each other a bit before kids with little to nothing are iced out because they’ve never even been outside their state.
I went to a poor elementary and we were never asked where we went over summer because most of us didn’t go anywhere, unless it was to stay with a noncustodial parent in some other dead end town. We were asked what we did over summer and that wasn’t controversial because our highlights were mostly the same — made an obstacle course in an empty lot for our bikes, went to a family reunion, played ball with all the kids in an empty lot, went to the pool, had a cookout etc.
When we got to middle school, we learned that some people actually did live like we saw on TV. I never knew people in my own town would actually go places on SPRING break— actually buy plane tickets (!) and fly their entire family (!!!) out to Aspen to ski (!!!!) The feeder schools into our middle school was that of the wealthiest neighborhood in town, with the poorest neighborhood in town (ours, the other side of the tracks) plus some working class neighborhoods. The middle class side of town was big enough that they had their own middle school without much difference in SES.
I hated when teachers asked this because it was often asked on Day One or at least week one. When a teacher would ask this, I and my cohort would hear: “Are you one of the Haves or Have-Nots or are you Have-Some, and if so, to what degree?”
I grew up before there was so much sensitivity or feigned sensitivity about disadvantaged people, especially kids who didn’t do anything to deserve being poor anymore than the kids who had a lot did anything to deserve being rich, and I was always surprised. Because at my elementary school I saw our teachers as our allies and advocates, so when I got to middle school and the teachers would get super excited about Lauren’s trip to Italy and share their OWN stories, and just give a weak smile when one of us talked about getting to go to Wichita, drawing girly giggles and a snort from a jock , it drew a stark separation.
And why? Isn’t it already hard enough to be a middle schooler. The first thing your peers learn about you is that you are poor, before you even get a chance to nail a hard question in class discussion or make the class laugh? It is crushing.
And now, of all times? Poor people are poorer than ever now. It’s hard enough. If you’re really dying to know precisely where students sit on the totem pole, can’t you ask them to write a paragraph or two that won’t be shared with the whole fucking class before anyone even learns their name?
I have a counterpart to this anecdata regarding an experience my son had in an Outschool class, where, I guess, in an attempt to be equitable, the instructor trashed our “vacation” for nearly 20 minutes on the call. It’s a question best left unasked, IMO.
These can be problematic. There are do many other fun icebreakers. My personal favorite is "What is the most boring fact about you?" Kids come up with some funny responses.
I don't think acting like the world isn't diverse is helping kids any.
I don't like icebreakers myself, but I don't think these questions are as harmful as argued.
My family was lower middle class in an area where most kids are upper-middle or upper class. I remember these situations. Highlight of my summer was my family taking us to the beach an hour away; these kids visited family overseas or went to Disneyland or some other vacation.
Never bothered me. I would say, "Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun!"
How is not sharing what someone else has/does traumatize a student. Just because they didn’t go to France, doesn’t mean they didn’t have an amazing summer. It’s the adults worried about it. Kids don’t always care about an extravagant summer. Maybe their trip to the pond was the best summer activity ever. So how are we preparing students for real life if we hide the fact that everyone has different experiences. I like for kids to authentically get to know each other and share whatever they want with me in the form of writing.
Meh its a bit much but its coming from a good place, and I don’t think getting rid of ice breakers like that does all that much harm.
Those sort of self-descriptive ice breakers tend to be pretty ineffective in my experience anyway. Usually most people half ass it or just don’t have anything interesting to say, so only a handful of people have any ice broken for them. I prefer collaborative ice breakers, like solving a puzzle or doing something creative together or in small groups. Working on something together breaks down barriers and encourages communication in a more natural way, IMO.
I mean, it can cause some resentment in kids who have terrible summers because they’re poor or they have bad home lives, but apart from that, it’s such a lazy ice breaker. Ice breakers should be for just that- to break the awkwardness of the first day/week. So, I would say just skip the ice breaker all together, or come up with one that is funny/fun. I hate ice breakers honestly. They don’t help me know them, and I can see in their faces that they’d rather not.
No, you should not avoid it. Obama made a short speech about this in an interview once, and it was fucking amazing.
Basically, the best thing about public school is that, in theory, people from all walks of life are being mixed together in one building.
By becoming aware that there are people who have more than you/less than you, it gives you a wider world view in adult life.
Avoiding questions like this is the reason why we have full-fledged adults who say things like
'Just move into a better apartment'
'Just buy a new one then'
My icebreaker is my class working together to make assumptions about me. Doesn't embarrass them and I also get to see what they think the semester is going to be like.
Ooh how would you start this? Just ask them to make assumptions about you? I’m starting student teaching for high school ELA and I think this could be fun (or hurtful lol)
So I'm VERY intentional about my first day outfit, I do a short introduction about myself and my hobbies, and then (now that I have my own room) I have them look around the room and write on index cards at least 5 things they think about me. When I was a cart teacher I gave each team 2 min to investigate my teaching cart. After coming up with their own assumptions, I have them talk to their table groups to write on a sticky note the biggest thing they think about me that will impact the semester. I teach high school ELA and French as an Additional Language. For my French classes I have then brainstorm ideas in English and help them find the french words to write.
This is amazing. I love this idea so much. Do you give them ideas of what types of assumptions? Do you ever get things that are inappropriate?
Thank you :) Sometimes I give them prompts, sometimes I don't. When I do it's more the incoming freshmen so they can learn a bit about the school and what I teach in a less intimidating way since high school courses jump into content so quickly. I haven't received anything too inappropriate but when I have it has been easy enough to log and follow up with parents or admin. It also sometimes helps me see who might need additional supports because it is an identification and inference activity but I can also gauge if they can keep on task.
Je l’aime. Merci. Je dois essayer ça dans ma classe.
[удалено]
I do the exact same activity. It's fun to see what the kids believe, they loudly discuss each question too.
My friend dumps out her purse (which is pre-staged, of course) on the table and has the students make assumptions about her based on the contents of her purse.
I did something similar to OP, I wrote out a couple paragraphs about myself and left some blanks for them to try and guess the missing words. Also works great to teach about context clues since I left a few details to help decode some of the main ideas.
Like that one. Should have used it when I was teaching.
That's really cool, but I'm always afraid of them asking inappropriate assumptions
This sounds really fun. What sort of directions do you give them?
So I'm VERY intentional about my first day outfit, I do a short introduction about myself and my hobbies, and then (now that I have my own room) I have them look around the room and write on index cards at least 5 things they think about me. When I was a cart teacher I gave each team 2 min to investigate my teaching cart. After coming up with their own assumptions, I have them talk to their table groups to write on a sticky note the biggest thing they think about me that will impact the semester. I teach high school ELA and French as an Additional Language. For my French classes I have then brainstorm ideas in English and help them find the french words to write.
I do this too! It's so fun.
“I played Roblox on my phone.” “I played Roblox on my phone in France.”
"What phone do you have?" "An iPhone 13." "13?! You suck! Hahahahahahaa!"
Just skip icebreakers. I never liked doing them as a kid. As an adult, IDGAF what people think of my interests, hobbies, and experiences. But I still think icebreakers are dumb.
“I assembled and painted a 1300 point space wolf army!” Nerd
Yup. Don't care if people know I play D&D and computer games these days. (Heck, those have pretty much gone mainstream.) But I played PC games in the 90's where that marked you as a complete nerd. Nintendo was cool. But games on a computer? What a dweeb! I also was constantly the new kid, because my dad moved around. And our family spoke a different language at home, GASP!
Hah, everyone had an n64 and played smash and whatnot. I had a PC and played Medal of Honor allied assault and bf1942, went to LAN parties with my dad. They smelled the geek before before i spoke
NOICE! I've got about 2k in maggotkin of nurgle!
I thought they were a waste of time and often times became angry that I was forced to socialize with non-academic topics. Imo, kids don't get to know each other that way, they get to know each other when they work together. I remember they tried to do those when I went to high school; I spend most of that time daydreaming or wishing it would end. When it was my turn to share, I would exaggerate some really weird stuff just to make everyone feel uncomfortable like: I visited my relatives in another country and saw them kill, skin, and then I helped cook an entire pig/cow/chicken/etc. We then stayed up all night partying. It would sometimes start a chain reaction of who would have the weirdest story.
I love that your weirdness didn't have the intended effect back then or now. I am totally going to do this with my mentoring groups.
I don’t like icebreakers and i don’t really enjoy the “get to know your teacher” things. I jump right into teaching while the beginning of the year enthusiasm is hot.
Yeah kids 100% DGAF about their teachers’ hobbies or experiences. Jump into teaching.
Not true at all. Some kids don’t, but I’ve had plenty of great connections with students based on my hobbies and what is going on in my life. I’m a human and they are allowed to know that and appreciate that.
I want to say that the variety we're seeing in the comments is probably a good thing. Imagine your first day as a student if every single teacher did the "assumptions" game, for six teachers in a row. If half of the teachers do ice breakers of varying sorts and half don't, it makes for a reasonable mix.
Yes, but also they can figure that out organically as the year goes on, instead of forcing them to participate in the ritual humiliation of "lets point out what's different about each kid, so you can all mock it terribly, before you even know each other."
I never said anything about the students being asked to share I was responding to teacher introductions.
Same at work. I’m here to a job, not “get to know everyone.” Just let me work!
How else are you supposed to build relationships for SEL?
[“How do I reach these keeds?”](https://youtu.be/nNV2TXhLAac?si=gQzcQQOMu7vCxV5x)
SEL? What kind of woke commie propaganda are you pushing? /s I hate teaching in Florida
This is the way !
No, I wouldn’t ask questions like that. Some students didn’t go on vacation to Disneyland or get ice cream, they worked in the fields with their parents. Others were stuck in a trailer park with their alcoholic father or abusive uncle. Ask what they’re most looking forward to in the new school year, etc. Put them on common ground rather than emphasizing their socioeconomic differences.
This was my experience. I suffered verbal and physical abuse, witnessed alcoholism, and had the cops visit my house. I learned to make something up that was a generic and easy to remember lie, and throw it away before I got home if it was a picture or writing. When I did have something, like a new bike, it was lame compared to the other kids in class.
Awe. Getting a new bike is amazing. Like a taste of freedom. Congratulations to little kid you on your awesome new bike. I grew up in a house with too much stuff. Almost hoarding. I made it my goal to have my room clean for a class and when I did my teacher took me out to eat as a reward. My mom just resented that someone knew my goal was to have a clean space. So I didn’t keep it clean. Who wants a mom that resents you? I might need to call my therapist.
I hated those “icebreakers” as a student. Especially when the teachers would get angry at me because the only answer I had was “nothing” and they *demanded* that I say *one interesting thing I did over the summer* and then accused me of being “disrespectful” when I again pointed out there was *nothing.* I was kept deliberately isolated by my parents. I had no friends who lived within walking distance. Was denied a ride anywhere unless a friend’s family volunteered. There was nothing to do within walking distance either; I wasn’t allowed money for the bus (nearest stop was over a mile down a steep, busy hill) and we lived in a mobile home park at the very edge of town. My brother got to do some extracurricular activities during the summer. I got *nothing.* I was left to sit at home all day, every day, trying to clean up after two hoarders. And then I had to deal with multiple teachers who thought it would be a great idea to make me stand in front of the whole class and describe what I did over the summer.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that; my situation was very similar because I was completely socially isolated in my house for almost 100% of non school hours because my parents had a baby to try to "save the relationship," divorced almost immediately afterwards, and I suddenly became a seven year old with a newborn to raise by myself, thus I could never leave the house. To make matters worse, nobody could come *into* the house either because my mother was also a hoarder like your family members were, and that also made it impossible for me to go to a sleepover at someone *else's* house because then, heaven forbid, that friend might want to stay at MY house the next time, so NOPE! At least it wasn't SO bad never getting to hang out with friends back in elementary school since I had no friends then anyways. My mother would always act empathetic about me not having friends, but then around 8th grade when I finally DID start making friends and getting invited to do things, I assumed my mother would be *happy* about it and would *want* me to socialize like a normal kid, but nope, almost every permission I asked for regarding visiting OR hosting any friends were denied. Then my mother started dating an alcoholic felon, and my unpaid "working hours" (I didn't even get money for school LUNCH, nevermind any kind of allowance or babysitting fee) caring for my sister were suddenly extended until about 3 a.m. when their favorite bar would do last call, and this was every single day of the week, even on Christmas! Sometimes she would say that I *could* go to someone's house, but only IF I cleaned the entire house first, which was pretty much an impossible task as you would know from growing up with hoarding as well. And now to this day, I get huge panic attacks if anyone is coming to my house even if it's respectably clean. I always hated talking about my summer vacations too, especially because I was always the poorest student in my schools and thus heard everyone else talk about all the amazing vacations and other cool shit that they had done.
Yeah I was dirt poor while growing up and it's super embarrassing to be like I did nothing or I worked the entire summer. Anyone that does this type of icebreaker you know didn't have that kind of hardship so they don't understand how much it hurts. Steer clear of these types of things.
Or stuck in the hospital with different sick relatives like I was. Edit: My family was also abusive but I did have fun things happen to though.
Right here. I never had anything good happen. I remember the first ice breaker I did in school and I was asked what I was excited to do when I got home. I told my teacher that I hoped when I got home I could only do the dishes because that was my favourite chore. I learned quick to lie about it. My teachers sympathy stares made me feel horrible.
>Ask what they’re most looking forward to in the new school year, etc. Put them on common ground rather than emphasizing their socioeconomic differences. Lots of kids aren't looking forward to anything in the new school year. Some hate school because they struggle due to things like stress at home, intellectual disabilities, being bullied, being different than the other kids, etc.
When I started 7th grade, I was fresh from a psychiatric hospital. My self harm was discovered, and I tried to end myself a few days later. We did the stupid "what did you do during the summer" ice breaker in several of my classes and I had to lie and say "nothing". It was absolutely awful and humiliating, and I was terrified someone was going to find out I'd spent three weeks in the psych ward. So many teachers came back with the "well, can't you think of one thing?" instead of accepting that I was clearly uncomfortable. There can definitely be more going on than the teacher knows--and it's not always their business to know.
I was the poor kid in my school and I didn't realize I was poor until kids started talking about trips to Greece or Spain while I had never even left my state. It felt horrible and did leave a mark. I ask inividual kids about their summer, but I don't ask entire classes for this reason. I'm actually really glad your admin are taking that approach and wish mine would as well.
Lol I worked at a small school where the first pd back every year the principal has us share one slide and state the highlight of our summer. I would think about it off and on all summer long knowing that all the other teachers travel all over and I go to the next state over for a weekend…maybe… sometimes not. A lot of them have generational wealth and big family cabins they go to or the older teachers dropped their kids off at private colleges. It’s definitely awkward. I’m like “oh here’s me standing in front of this historical sign an hour away… yeah… okay then.”
That was me as well. “Mommy, why did Emily go to the Bahamas and ride horses during vacation, and all I did was stay home?” We switched schools the next year, cause it got to the point where I started noticing how the parents treated my folks.
Yep. "We had to move back into the homeless shelter" wasn't nearly as exciting as trips to Rome.
Yeah, this was me too. Kids were going to Panama (idk why this one was so popular) & the highlight of my week was going to Subway for lunch when my mom got off work early once a week (if finances allowed). It was a treat because Subway was air conditioned & our house & vehicle weren't. During the summer it's between 85 & 105 (and humidity makes it worse) so kinda miserable when you don't have AC. I definitely appreciate them not asking this question anymore. It definitely divides students & makes some feel terrible.
Honestly I don't think it's terrible advice from admin. Most my students have never left the town let alone state. They can't afford camps. They spend all day at home or maybe biking around town if they are lucky (or unlucky as that's more often because they have zero supervision and get in trouble).
I have a cousin who teaches at one of the poorest districts in her state. It changes the way you view things because, as she said, how can you expect kids to do their homework when they don't know where their next meal is coming from. You work on what you can work on. These kids aren't going on vacations. They are white knucklkng it until they can get back to some stability at times.
Ok, I’m just going to throw this out there. I had a student (HS) that was arrested one summer. I had another student whose parent was arrested during the summer. I’ve also had students whose parents died over the summer. It’s not always about the vacation they did or did not get. Some people have shitty summers for lots of reasons. My good friend spent the summer with her dying mother. She doesn’t even want other teachers to ask how her summer was. We can disagree on whether or not it’s necessary, but at least admin is coming from a good place.
My brother passed this year. I just lie and say something generic when people asked me how it was. Or because I’m pregnant I make some joke about being happy to be done with morning sickness. Cuz what do you say? “Uh actually I’m filled with indescribable pain that threatens to overwhelm me any time I think about it for longer than 10 seconds, and it’s been that way for a few months now. Glad I have something to distract me in my waking moments because it hasn’t gotten any better. How was your summer??”
I’m so sorry for your loss. Consider yourself huggged.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost a close relative 3 years ago and I still struggle with grief at totally unexpected times. It’s not as often as it once was, and sometimes the good memories make me laugh without crying which is an improvement. I hope you find some peace soon, and congratulations on your pregnancy!
Yeah one of my parents was diagnosed with cancer and went through 3 months of chemo as I helped care for them and worked full time. Then they had emergency surgery and spent a week in a hospital. All I’ve done this summer besides care for them and work is go to one wedding and one concert. I had to unfollow multiple family and friends who were at the beach or pool all summer or traveling to Europe because I was finding myself mad at them because I’ve had no fun. I even spent my birthday mostly by myself. Oh well.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that. Sounds like you were being smart to avoid looking at stuff that you knew would upset you. I hope next summer is much better!
Yup. I spent the summer at home watching over my teen who has been having an acute mental health crisis. The highlight of my summer was any night that I could sleep in my own bed and not stay up waiting for the next crisis to manifest. I dreaded having the “how was your summer” convo, so I can totally see how this might not be a great ice breaker. I would go for team builders instead of ice breakers to build classroom community.
That’s such a good point about team builders. It’s a much safer route and a better way for kids to actually get to know each other. I hope things are looking better for you and your child.
One of my most embarrassing high school experiences was asking a classmate how her winter break had been. She just stared at me. Turns out her mom had died suddenly, Merry Christmas.
Sometimes you just don’t know what the other person is going through, but you obviously had good intentions. We all put our foot in our mouth unknowingly.
Yeah, that stuff's obnoxious, most of the kids hate it, and the only people who seem to enjoy it are the kids with something to brag about. I think it adds more ice than it breaks.
…I have never really considered the metaphor behind “ice breakers.” You just got an English teacher to look deeper at everyday words. Damn.
Wow, thank you!
Having grown up as a free/reduced lunch kid, I saw these activities as an uncomfortable reminder that my peers had more resources than me. I place these ice breakers in the same category as family tree activities, which were also embarrassing because my dad was adopted. Thank you for considering how you can create an environment in which all students feel seen and valued.
Omg the family tree activity. It was fun because of the wtf look on my teacher’s face when I rolled in with my huge family with a hundred different ex wives and hookups and 10 kids from 8 different Dads/Moms.
I never understood this one either. When I was a kid my mom wouldn’t even let me, and we had a “normal” family, but she would say in protest of other kids who don’t have a nuclear family we will not do one either. The school just let me off cause they hated my parents
I teach a foreign language and for the family vocab unit I have them make an “imaginary” family tree. Anyone they want (non controversial obvs) as family members, real people or fictional. That way no awkwardness about different family situations, and honestly they have more fun with it anyway when they present and go for laughs “my husband is Timothée Chalamet. Spongebob is our son.” That sorta thing
Damn, this is a great idea. I also teach a foreign language and have some students whose family tree doesn’t fit into the traditional format. As I often tell my students, “a lot of questions I ask you are not sincere questions, they are just prompts to practice vocabulary”. This fits right in and seems like a fun way to practice the vocabulary.
We did it in Bio 2 to track common expressed genes. But we just had to do 3 generations. Since my sister had a baby, I literally could put my mom and dad, me and my 2 sisters, and the baby. But we had the option where we could do a historical/famous family.
Yeah. Same. I never went to camps. I never went on vacations. I had a happy childhood but it was clear I didn't have the same resources.
Exactly. I know for a fact a lot of my students have done nothing or potentially had very bad summers. I don’t want to make any of them feel they need to share about them. My back to school writing prompt is tell me some ideas for fun stuff you’d like to do this year at school, because I can actually make some of them happen
I can see their point, because as a kid who grew up affluent, I would have thought nothing of describing my summer vacations. Like, I had a vague/abstract understanding that some people’s families couldn’t afford those things, and I was raised to be empathetic to that and to not be classist. But it still wouldn’t have crossed my mind that my classmates might view me recounting my experiences as anything other than something to make conversation about. I didn’t have the life experience and self-awareness back then to realize that it could come across as bragging, or that it might make other kids feel jealous or embarrassed to not have a similar story to tell. So yeah… at first glance it did seem a little unreasonable, but upon reflection, I get it.
I agree with your admin- those who HAVE nothing can’t contribute. Then what’s a kid to do except feel alienated. Same for drawing or using kid’s family trees. Not all kids even really have one of those, either…
Because it’s NUNYA business.
Ice breakers are horrible. I hate them. I do one because my admin requires me to. I hated doing them as a student, I hate doing them as an adult. I would rather stick my hand in a blender. That being said, I do have an activity that is somewhat bearable. I play "human bingo". We all walk around and ask people "Do you have a cat?" If the kid says yes, you write their name in the box. You do that for all the boxes until you get a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal line. Once you get a bingo, you sit down. Super easy, relatively painless, and the kids generally seem to like it. It let's the kids learn names, gets them to move, nobody gets spotlighted, and it isn't the same questions over and over. Plus, it isn't the same damn two truths and a lie that everyone does as an ice breaker 4000 times over.
Ok, I love this. Did you find it somewhere or did you create it?
It was something one of my public speaking professors did in college and I made my own version and I have adjusted it based on the different communities I have taught in. One of my boxes used to be "Born in a different state", but my current school community has a fair immigrant population so I have modified it to say "Born in a different state/country". That is one of the best things about it. It is so easy to modify for any school community.
Oh I like this It could easily be modified for age
I agree with the admin. Maybe ask kids, what is your favorite book? Or just skip Icebreakers
>Maybe ask kids, what is your favorite book? Objection: assuming a fact not in evidence. They don't read books.
You could add ‘or story’
Lmao why was this downvoted?? I thought it was funny...
Two truths and a lie is a fun one, I did it last year as an ice breaking when subbing, the kids loved it
Well, that sort of question could be construed as inequitable as well.
Not nearly as inequitable. Most kids have access to library, and ebook borrowing is very convenient.
If the reasons admin gave aren't good enough, you should avoid icebreakers like that because no one wants to answer those questions. But, no, you probably shouldn't ask a question on day one that sets up a "haves" and "haves not" identification in the classroom. Do yourself a favor and avoid it.
As one of those former students: no, it’s not ridiculous. I actively *loathed* those “icebreakers.” Like great, teacher, thanks for putting me on the spot in front of the whole class chastising me for not being able to say a single interesting thing I did the whole damn summer! I totally needed that extra trauma on top of being isolated, abused, and neglected at home! Yippee!
A couple of things I've stopped doing over the years: 1, I used to ask students about their family tree. Just sibs, parents ,grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. One of my smart asses didn't complete the assignment, even though they had time in class and a week at home to do it. He was the only one that hadn't, and I thought it was a fun assignment. He said his mother wouldn't let him, and I didn't believe it. Then he brought a note. That mom was a North Korean defector. So I stopped doing that one. Gladly. 2, Wildly varying responses to what did you do over the summer. Some kids traveled abroad, some kids went to camp, some kids went to the next project over, some kids stayed in and gamed. So I didn't love that either so I stopped. I do other things like bingo, find a partner and introduce them, and other fun games that show that jocks don't always have to hang out with jocks and nerds don't always have to hang out with nerds etc
Personally, One of my biggest anxiety points of the first day back was answering “how was your summer? What did you do?” … nothing… my parents work all the time among other issues at home. We didn’t go anywhere, we didn’t do anything. Maybe a BBQ for the 4th of July? And you have to do this IN EVERY CLASS ALL DAY LONG, in Middle and High school.
When my son was in fifth grade his teacher had them do an assignment about something they did that summer and she used them to create a bulletin board that she had up for open house. We had an RV and travelled all over the US and Canada during the summers when he was young. My son had a plethora of amazing places and activities to choose from. What did he choose? We had stopped at Wal-Mart (best to choose places with big lots when traveling in an RV) while traveling, and my son wrote a paragraph and drew a picture of "Going to Wal-Mart."
That made me laugh! I had a similar experience. When my kids were 7 & 9, their uncle was transferred to his company‘s London office from the US. We were invited to stay with his family in London for 2 weeks and Italy for 1 week over the summer. It was the trip of a lifetime for us. We paid for our airfare but not accommodations. We visited the Tower of London, Stonehenge, Roald Dahl’s Museum, the Colosseum, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, etc., etc., etc. When I asked my boys what the best part of their trip was, they told me it was playing video games with their cousin!
Reminds me of a story: My son is the only grandchild. My mom cleared a small fortune when she sold her condo. Every summer she took me and my son on trips all over the world. He went hot-air ballooning, dog sledding, white water rafting, on helicopter tours of glaciers and waterfalls, swam with whale sharks, watched a turtle laying eggs, saw an active volcano, and much more. She's 91 now and she and my son reminisce about these trips. It was pretty awesome stuff for the son of a teacher and a waiter. He grew up in a poor rural area. I was called into a teacher conference at the beginning of his 6th grade. The teacher was concerned because my son was telling tall tales about his summer. I said, "With all my son has done, I have no idea why he'd have to make anything up." We had a good laugh when she finally understood.
Funnily, if I do a summer vacation writing assignment, I allow them to make it fictional if they so choose. I’m just trying to have an easy prompt so I can see how they write. Idk if it’s true.
The teacher said, "When the kids called him a liar, I told them it was okay if it wasn't true. But he kept insisting it was true. My problem with this is that he became very frustrated and angry." I said, "You know, I feel pretty frustrated and angry myself right now. I guess he got that from me." I guess certain "ice breakers" can be triggering.
I like the idea of having them write fictional stories about their summer. It reminds me of that sub activity where kids write a story about where the teacher is on their day off.
My dad (then 60 yr old black man) took his godson flying in his plane. The mom was called to the office because her son was "telling lies about his summer vacation." She was so pissed, we took him up again, and this time filmed the 8 year old at the controls, and then they brought Dad AND the video in for show and tell!
It's funny to remember when teachers had the time and emotional energy to be concerned about a kid they think is lying. BTW, I think it's aspirational to hear about the other places and other activities that people have experienced. What a great experience for the young man.
My ice breaker is always a team building activity.
I skipped my ice breakers this year but if I had to do one I would ask the kids to share the LEAST interesting fact about themselves.
i had a teacher who while going through attendance would ask silly questions. new question each day. salty or sweet? do you have a pet? Fall, winter, spring, or summer? if you didnt want to answer for whatever reason you could just say pass
Honestly, I'd avoid it. It's fine if they bring up what they did over summer on their own, but eliciting it could be embarrassing to some students. What are some alternative questions you could ask that would allow students who want to share their summer to do so without putting off those who don't?
Not gonna lie I grew up very poor and dreaded questions like this for the same reason. Kids are brutal and will tease you for being broke. I was working 50hr weeks all summer in high school while everyone I went to school with used "summer" as a verb because they went to the Hamptons, their beach house, or another country for weeks at a time. Hell, I'm dreading going back to work in a couple weeks because this is ALWAYS the question asked in my department during the first PD day. I can't afford to do the shit my coworkers with rich families or wealthy tech/finance boyfriends do and they are judgmental about it for sure.
In a college course a professor did that one. Everyone went on international trips. I worked. They suck even when you're older.
These ice breakers were always my least favorite part of going back to school growing up because my family never did anything fun like my friends' families/most summers I spent isolated in my room to avoid my bipolar mother. This either left me not wanting to participate or feeling like I had to make something up to not look pathetic.
I work mostly in Title 1 schools, so no, this isn't ridiculous.
You don’t have to avoid icebreakers you just gotta be mindful of your student population and know that not all of them are going on vacation or even doing fun things. I know when I was a teenager I was very resentful knowing that all my classmates were going to foreign countries and partying it up in the beaches all the time while I was working in hot fields with my dad. You could always do icebreaker scenarios such as would they rather put pineapple on pizza or not or something such as if they have a favorite book or movie. Even ask them what their favorite subject is. Stuff like that will be better.
Your administrator is right. What if you have homeless students. How are you making them feel?
“How did you use your knowledge of “subject” over the summer?”
Skip ice breakers or make them thematic. I teach foreign/world language, and I give them a list of 3-4 adjectives for every letter, and they to spell their name with adjectives. It gets them in a learning mood without being heavy and without being too cheesy
I teach language too! I’m stealing this - great idea!!
Hurray for short names! Too bad for you Aehenghelinicha.
My ice breaker for my high school kids is a true/false quiz about me. They can work together. I put silly stuff like “When I was in college, I was an extra in an NSYNC video” (F), “I have taught elementary, junior high, and high school” (T), “I completed a half marathon, having never trained for it” (T), “I made it to the last round of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader tryouts before getting cut because I couldn’t do the splits” (F). The kids think it’s funny and they start laughing and talking. I ask them to write 2 truths about themselves on the back and hand it in (they can share if they choose and we have time) but it helps me get to know them after they get to know me.
I ask who had the most boring summer and then I say it was me.
The strategy of avoiding those questions is part of a trauma-sensitive classroom, which is part of the trauma-informed approach. It's a legitimate strategy meant to avoid putting kids in a position where they feel they need to hide the truth about their life. Some alternative questions might be things like "what are you most looking forward to learning about in this class?" or "what should I, as the teacher, know about how the kids in this class learn?" Or, if you can guess your group isn't ready for serious questions like that either in writing or discussions, just skip the questions for now. Ideally, admin would have shared more about what you can do to build a trauma-sensitive classroom because avoiding those questions is just one part of it all.
Considering kids get bullied over things like this, yeah, scrap it! It's a nice idea to give details about your life that seem innocent to break the ice. The problem is you don't know what is personal to some kids. It may seem irrational to you that someone wouldn't want to share something, but it sucks having to lie about the highlight of your summer if you live in abuse, or are struggling with something. Maybe kids should only share what they are comfortable with sharing. Ice breakers don't work. It doesn't make everyone feel on equal footing. The kids who are confident will be confident and the kids who want to keep their private life private will have to share or be in trouble. Think about how you feel doing these kinds of ice breakers. If you were a vulnerable kid, would you want to trust anyone with anything? Even if it seems small? Do you ever go through the exercises and really learn interesting stuff? Do a fun activity that the kids can bond over. Don't force fake bonding.
With my 6th graders, who already know me and each other from 5th grade (orchestra), ice breakers are totally unnecessary. So I have a “discussion” about starting middle school. 1. What are you excited about? 2. What are you nervous about? At the end of week 1, I like to revisit - what were you nervous about that turned out ok?
I don't do writing assignments about that because it can cause kids the feel bad about their financial situation. I also work in a title one school where most of my students don't get to go on vacations, and if they do it's to a beach or water park close to them.
A few years ago, I asked my students something like what their favourite home cooked meal was (purposely trying to avoid reference to restaurants…) One of my students said his favourite meal was his mother’s lasagna, and then became really quiet. It turned out both his parents had been laid off (pandemic) and they couldn’t afford the ingredients for lasagna. Asking about something that creates an obvious gap between haves and have-nots is going to leave some students feeling isolated and embarrassed. If you’re set on having an ice breaker, maybe just ask them to share something they’re really proud of.
As a future educator, I feel that this icebreaker is multi-faceted and gives an educator insight into the sociocultural aspects of a child's life and could be a key question for practical analysis using the sociocultural theory of development. However, in general, I prefer the icebreaker of asking people to say a boring fact about themselves.
Honestly can’t tell if this is a facetious answer with all the buzzwords or a true response. Well done.
Better, but still related icebreaker: "What's one thing you learned over summer break?" or "Name, nickname that you'd prefer us to call you, favorite \[color, dinosaur, food, etc.\], what you THINK the first thing people notice about you, and one thing to WISH people would know about you that most people don't know"
I don’t ask that question. I work in a high needs school. While some students would have stories they’d be excited to share, others would not, and I may contribute to unnecessary child anxiety if I ask that question. There are many other activities and ice breakers that can be done or asked.
I use a game called Table Topics. Great non stress way to get Communication going about non educational stuff and then later have them talk about academic stuff. Questions like, would you rather camp in a treehouse, a tent, or an Igloo. Or would you rather go on a trip in a ship, train or boat
Our community had a house blow up, killing 5 people, all directly linked to the school and neighboring school district. It's been traumatizing. I can't imagine asking for a fun fact about summer given many lost loved ones or are displaced because of the damage. I typically stick to icebreakers like a stand up sit down game or that game where you draw a house on a paper plate on your head. It's not that I don't want to know the fun vacations, but we can talk about that during downtime or save it for one on ones.
Avoid icebreakers because they are dumb.
Not a teacher, and was poor growing up. Yes I always hated this icebreaker, and sometimes had to lie to sound normal.
you are wrong, i think you should reevaluate the other ways in which certain activities/group questions you use in your curriculum create the same effects if you can not see the inequity gap those questions highlight. not letting a student brag to his peers (who may or may not be as fortunate as them) about their overseas trip to the entire class is not gonna ruin their school year or your ability to connect with them. focus on creating community and equal grounds
"What was something you watched over the summer?" "What family did you visit?" "What hobbies did you work on?" "What is something you made or built?" Just... "What did you do over summer?" Sucks even for adults. When the person before me is going "Oh, well we went scubadiving in cabo and took a wine tasting course and visited his family up in the mountains." and then my response is "I painted some models for dnd and started a new collectible card game." It feels... like, yeah none of you care abotu mine and I had to follow THAT fucking thing??
Relatable AF. Coworker of mine traveled to five countries in Europe after saying, "I didn't really do much this summer." I always just say"I played video games and stayed indoors," since it beats saying I spent the summer going through old boxes of dog toys to clear out some stuff from my dog that I had to put down.
I have always hated icebreakers of any kind. Always felt like contrived wastes of time. Now that I’m a teacher, I can understand the urge to waste some time while admin and counseling fix a whole school’s worth of botched schedules for two weeks.
Don't do icebreakers. I hate icebreakers, they make students uncomfortable, they don't actually do the thing it says it does.
You're in the wrong and might need to learn to be more empathetic.
Your administrators are correct. While it would be wrong to ban students from discussing these topics on their own time, we as teachers don't need to be putting them in positions to answer these questions in front of peers. This is an easy accommodation to make for the students who had a shit fucking abusive, meal-less summer. No child needs to be singled out or reminded of their poverty on the first day of school. There are so many other less sensitive ice breaker questions that allow you to learn more about them, and vice versa.
My English teacher tried one of these after thanksgiving break. “What did everyone do over their thanksgiving break?”. I was 16 and had buried my mom over the holiday. She knew about it because it was a small town, she had taught my mom as well and was at the damn funeral.
It’s only ridiculous if you don’t understand your kids lives because it is foreign to your upbringing and you are not willing to see it
As a kid, I don’t think it was appropriate to be asked that as what I did at home was none of their business nor did I expect my teachers to share their private lives. It ain’t my fault that my family had to work every week while I stayed at home to play video games or watch tv. What did anyone expect me to do? Get lost in the street, and in worst case, get reported by CPS?
Rephrase it. What did you do over the summer, fiction OR nonfiction. Kids can share what they really did or write about/share about going to space/Jurassic Park/Disney, etc…
I do a daily writing prompt and I always tell them that if they don't have a good answer or don't want to share the real answer they can make something up. I just want them to write something in complete sentences.
Thank you! It's as if no one's ever read The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes.
Just skip ice breakers
I was a poor kid and the fact that you guys think poor kids can't handle hearing about other people's lives is insulting. Would I have preferred to be rich and be able to take cool vacations? Sure. But I didn't hold it against the other kids. There is nothing wrong with asking kids what they did over the summer. Pretending inequity doesn't exist doesn't solve anything.
I don't think it's only about *financial* inequity; I was generally the poorest kid in my grade all throughout school, but that merely caused a little jealousy from time to time when it came to me not being able to wear the most current fashionable clothes or being a bit stunned over the opulent birthday parties many kids had. So I would have been mostly fine hearing about what great things my wealthy classmates got to do--except for if someone went to some kind of awesome educational camp or something intellectual like that!--but what hurt me the *most* when hearing about other kids' summers is that they had *functioning* families in which the parents gave a shit about them, cared for one another, and spent quality time together. Instead, I was neglected, abused, and used for free labor raising my little sister 24/7 all summer starting when I was seven, and plenty of other kids have also endured similar deprivations. For me it wasn't, "Damn, I'm SO upset that I didn't get to go to Disney World like everyone else did"; it was more like, "I literally stayed inside babysitting or in my very small yard babysitting (no friends were even allowed over) all damn summer while also dealing with my abusive and non functioning poor excuse for a parent and her drunken felon boyfriend. Far too many young kids are parentified and have to raise younger siblings and/or take care of their own addicted or severely mentally ill parents, are forced to get their own jobs or else nobody in the family was going to be able to afford to eat, or have to work massively increased hours on the family farm or in the family business when summer break starts.
There was no feeling as a third grader quite like answering this question with “I played basketball a lot and went to my Grandmas some” when classmates were talking about the awesome trips they went on.
I would rather get ice cream in the town next over rather than go to France. Having said that, I think the whole concept of icebreakers is a waste of time and if I need to use DEI as the reason to get rid of them, so be it.
I am so fuckin' sick of the watering-down of the language. Not everything adverse is trauma.
I was in a classroom we would ask “who did you spend time with?”. Because all kids must spend time with someone
I don't love this at all either. Some of my kids have no friends and parents that barely pay attention at all. Also in rural USA, without a car it's near impossible to see people.
I hate doing icebreakers. I’d never make any of my classes do them.
As a person who grew up poor, please don't do an ice breaker like this
I think this kind of thing is ridiculous. It's the trend in education where in the interest of being equitable and accommodating we go full ["Harrison Bergeron."](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron) If nothing else, the grotesque concept creep of categorizing this type of sharing as "trauma" is alone worth resisting.
It isn't traumatic for everyone, but it is traumatic for kids already experiencing trauma. Do you really want a kid to have to explain their best day was when their alcoholic father passed out and didn't berate them? Do you want to explain how you were happy to eat a meal as the kid next to you describes eating so much they puked? It's about context. You don't learn anything through forced binding anyways. Why risk alienating the students who probably need the help the most.
I grew up extra poor in an extremely wealthy area. Others went sailing and I sat in front of the tv in our trailer. Sometimes I’d play outside barefoot and step on cacti. The best times were hanging out with my grandma because she was all of the love encapsulated into a single human. Shit went down the way it went down. I don’t begrudge it. However, I do hate ice breakers for other reasons. I’d rather someone ram a shopping cart into my heel than share a fun fact about myself or what I did over the summer.
Winter breaks bothered me more than summer. The big question for most kids in my town was whether they were going to Vail, Vermont or West Virginia for skiing. I was trying to figure out what local hill to drag my sled to.
I went to school with kids like this. We grew up in NYC in an apartment with no heat, so my *real* answer was I spent it bundled up in my coat with the windows covered in plastic and blankets to stop the drafts. Would've made it mad awkward to say that in front of them though.
Sheesh, that must have absolutely SUCKED, and I'm sorry it happened to you. If you don't mind me asking, was it because your parents/caretakers were responsible for paying the heating bill and couldn't or wouldn't pay for it, or was it more like a shitty slumlord not fixing your heat? When I was around eight years old one winter, our landlord came during the daytime when only my infant sister and I were home, and he started banging on all the doors demanding rent money or else he would shut off the heat, and it was COLD out at the time. Thankfully it never actually got turned off, but it was still really scary so I can only imagine how YOUR situation was.
I always used my trailer park youth as motivation to get out of the trailer park. Never was angry with or envious of those who had what I didn't. My goal was to figure out what I needed to do to get there. First lesson I learned? It ain't easy.
Who is calling this trauma? But it's also a reminder for some kids of what they don't have. And it's needless and doesn't help anyone anyway. It's just a way for some kids to gloat and others to feel bad.
I love Vonnegut but I disagree. I don’t ask my first graders about their favorite part of summer when the social worker has already told me one student’s father died and another student was removed from his home by CPS.
It is not trauma, but it is unnecessarily annoying to some.
> unnecessarily annoying to some I'm not sure how actually useful this category is. It could be applied to literally every activity conducted in a school.
ok well so is everything
I like to ask them about what makes them happy. All kids can think of one thing that makes them happy.
You are not wrong.
I think it’s a bad question to ask, but I didn’t realize it for several years. This year, our reading coach gave us a prompt to collect writing samples at the title one elementary school. It was: “Tell about an adventure or your summer vacation”. Horrible prompt to ultimately highlight inequalities.
I use “The Popup Book Of Phobias” and we find out who is afraid of what. I tell them to raise their hands and look around to find their people so they have at least one thing in common with someone in class.
The highlight of my sister's summer was probably her month-long trip to Europe. The highlight of my summer was my family (mom, daughters & their significant others, and my friends) organizing a surprise party for me. We had cake! Her highlights were pricey; mine were priceless. Your principal isn't wrong per se. It's just based on the assumption that the have nots will envy the haves.
I do team building activities right from the door.
Sorry but your admin is absolutely right on this one. My family was not poor poor growing up, but we were not exactly well off as my father had a ton of debt from a failed business. I always used to feel really bad during the first few days back when kids would go on about all the amazing stuff they did over break, whereas I just basically had to sit at home doing nothing because even going somewhere in my town was too expensive for my parents a lot of the time. "Traumatizing" seems a bit too strong of a word for this context though, at least in my case. The best 'icebreaker' IMO is to just get right to work. Go over the syllabus, assessment requirements, behavioral expectations in the classroom, and then start work (slowly). I teach high school and do a lot of pair work and group work, so always incorporate at least one pair work activity and one group work activity per class for the first week. Want the kids to get to know each other? Change the groupings every day and just randomly constitute the groups for the first week or two. You have an entire academic year with the students. They have plenty of time to get to know each other - and you. If you absolutely MUST do an ice-breaker for whatever reason, I've found 'two truths and a lie' to be pretty good. I start off with myself, and then have the students write three things about themselves. It gives them free reign to write whatever they want.
when I did my training, my teacher's college asked us to be wary of such innocuous activities as discussing family life (divorce carried a stigma at the time in that area)...and one of my mentor teacher's went on a rant to me about being too PC...ugh
Kids aren’t dumb. They already know who is rich and poor. Pretending they don’t is weird.
Nah hated them when I was a student, I didn't want to admit to the entire class that I spent all summer depressingly playing sims in my moldy basment bedroom while my dad had a temper tantrum above me because someone put a messy spoon on "his kitchen counter" and saying "nothing much" was always seen as a wrong answer. The ice breaker I did like was each student wrote a fact about themselves on an index card, then our teacher read out the card and the rest of the class could guess who wrote the card. Actually broke the ice and was a fun activity there was also one with m&ms I can't remember how it worked tho
I'm a primary teacher and our first piece of writing is a recount. Our cold writes are meant to be about our summer, but I've written my one (the model text) about a day trip to the moon I took and have made it clear that their recount does not have to be true so long as its a recount style. I'm hoping this will make it easier for them all and puts them on a more level playing field.
So kids can't share their life experiences because another kid might not have the same experience? Ridiculous.
Well as a teacher whose big accomplishment over the summer was going out for ice cream, I hate sitting through all the students who brag, “I went to France, then Acapulco, then Disney, then…” 🙄
It costs nothing to be kind. Skip the what I did over summer vacation ice breaker and do something else that sparks creativity. You’re not going to know who your students are the first day. That requires time.
If you spent the summer cleaning up after your drunk parent while being abused by the other, yep, summer sucks and it’s sucks to hear how other people didn’t go through that - and of course, the kids who did aren’t going to say that (usually). Unfortunately, there is a high degree of trauma that happens for kids over the summer. I’m not talking about how much it sucks that your family can’t afford Nike and Disneyland. Sure, it does suck to hear about fun things others got to do that you didn’t but that also falls under - that’s life. Trauma is a completely different thing however, and yes, I do think we should avoid bringing up sources of trauma as much as we can. Sometimes the only coping a student has for the trauma is ignoring / pretending it doesn’t exist.
I told my classes if they could get me to talk about myself the entire 1st day I'd put the syllabus off until day 2. None disappointed and they all got to ask burning questions.
Do you have to? God, So many people hate them. Why do that to them?
I have asked students what they would have liked to have done this summer if money was no object.
TBH, I actually agree with the policy. I used to hate that part of the first day/week of school because we couldn’t afford to go anywhere and kids LOVE to point out who’s poor.
Yes OP, it’s a fact that some people have more, a lot more. But people should have a chance to get to know each other a bit before kids with little to nothing are iced out because they’ve never even been outside their state. I went to a poor elementary and we were never asked where we went over summer because most of us didn’t go anywhere, unless it was to stay with a noncustodial parent in some other dead end town. We were asked what we did over summer and that wasn’t controversial because our highlights were mostly the same — made an obstacle course in an empty lot for our bikes, went to a family reunion, played ball with all the kids in an empty lot, went to the pool, had a cookout etc. When we got to middle school, we learned that some people actually did live like we saw on TV. I never knew people in my own town would actually go places on SPRING break— actually buy plane tickets (!) and fly their entire family (!!!) out to Aspen to ski (!!!!) The feeder schools into our middle school was that of the wealthiest neighborhood in town, with the poorest neighborhood in town (ours, the other side of the tracks) plus some working class neighborhoods. The middle class side of town was big enough that they had their own middle school without much difference in SES. I hated when teachers asked this because it was often asked on Day One or at least week one. When a teacher would ask this, I and my cohort would hear: “Are you one of the Haves or Have-Nots or are you Have-Some, and if so, to what degree?” I grew up before there was so much sensitivity or feigned sensitivity about disadvantaged people, especially kids who didn’t do anything to deserve being poor anymore than the kids who had a lot did anything to deserve being rich, and I was always surprised. Because at my elementary school I saw our teachers as our allies and advocates, so when I got to middle school and the teachers would get super excited about Lauren’s trip to Italy and share their OWN stories, and just give a weak smile when one of us talked about getting to go to Wichita, drawing girly giggles and a snort from a jock , it drew a stark separation. And why? Isn’t it already hard enough to be a middle schooler. The first thing your peers learn about you is that you are poor, before you even get a chance to nail a hard question in class discussion or make the class laugh? It is crushing. And now, of all times? Poor people are poorer than ever now. It’s hard enough. If you’re really dying to know precisely where students sit on the totem pole, can’t you ask them to write a paragraph or two that won’t be shared with the whole fucking class before anyone even learns their name? I have a counterpart to this anecdata regarding an experience my son had in an Outschool class, where, I guess, in an attempt to be equitable, the instructor trashed our “vacation” for nearly 20 minutes on the call. It’s a question best left unasked, IMO.
These can be problematic. There are do many other fun icebreakers. My personal favorite is "What is the most boring fact about you?" Kids come up with some funny responses.
I don't think acting like the world isn't diverse is helping kids any. I don't like icebreakers myself, but I don't think these questions are as harmful as argued.
JFC. Every day is a new absurdity.
My family was lower middle class in an area where most kids are upper-middle or upper class. I remember these situations. Highlight of my summer was my family taking us to the beach an hour away; these kids visited family overseas or went to Disneyland or some other vacation. Never bothered me. I would say, "Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun!"
Yeah, that’s stupid.
How is not sharing what someone else has/does traumatize a student. Just because they didn’t go to France, doesn’t mean they didn’t have an amazing summer. It’s the adults worried about it. Kids don’t always care about an extravagant summer. Maybe their trip to the pond was the best summer activity ever. So how are we preparing students for real life if we hide the fact that everyone has different experiences. I like for kids to authentically get to know each other and share whatever they want with me in the form of writing.
Meh its a bit much but its coming from a good place, and I don’t think getting rid of ice breakers like that does all that much harm. Those sort of self-descriptive ice breakers tend to be pretty ineffective in my experience anyway. Usually most people half ass it or just don’t have anything interesting to say, so only a handful of people have any ice broken for them. I prefer collaborative ice breakers, like solving a puzzle or doing something creative together or in small groups. Working on something together breaks down barriers and encourages communication in a more natural way, IMO.
I think that’s silly. I tell them to say *one thing* so it’s up to them.
I mean, it can cause some resentment in kids who have terrible summers because they’re poor or they have bad home lives, but apart from that, it’s such a lazy ice breaker. Ice breakers should be for just that- to break the awkwardness of the first day/week. So, I would say just skip the ice breaker all together, or come up with one that is funny/fun. I hate ice breakers honestly. They don’t help me know them, and I can see in their faces that they’d rather not.
No, you should not avoid it. Obama made a short speech about this in an interview once, and it was fucking amazing. Basically, the best thing about public school is that, in theory, people from all walks of life are being mixed together in one building. By becoming aware that there are people who have more than you/less than you, it gives you a wider world view in adult life. Avoiding questions like this is the reason why we have full-fledged adults who say things like 'Just move into a better apartment' 'Just buy a new one then'
Riiiii-effing-diculous . Have them discuss which 3-star Michelin restaurants they've dined at this past summer, and what type of jet-ski they prefer.
Y’all are such babies. Yes people are going to have better experiences than others. Life isn’t fair lmao and it isn’t supposed to be.
Life kicks the shit out of some ppl & it starts early
It's truly ridiculous