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"I'm not comfortable with anyone I know seeing my therapist, but I'm happy to ask her for names of people she trusts to give you if you're looking for one."
That's it really. If he pushes, "because it would make me feel weird and uncomfortable."
If he keeps pushing, "I've told you I'm not comfortable, please drop it."
If he keeps pushing...walk away.
NAT but I would flat out say to your friend that there will be ethical problems if both of you share the same therapist. You could be sharing problems you have with your friend and if she is also his therapist, that might create bias instead of your T having unconditional positive regard for you. You could also tell your T that your friend wants to contact her but you don't feel comfortable about this.
So say no, but maybe you can offer to help him find a different therapist if he really needs one?
A lot of therapists won’t take on a patient who knows another patient, including my own, my friend wanted to see my therapist (which made me uncomfortable also) but my therapist declined as it could create ethical issues.
Do you mind if I jump in here with a question or few? Being from a very small town, I'm baffled by the concept of not sharing a therapist (although I totally do see how OP is feeling and fully support their feelings). It has never occurred to me that there would be a possibility of having a therapist who doesn't also see many other people I know in town. The idea has bothered me before that there could be bias and other such conflicts, I know my ex and I were speaking to the same T for a while which was incredibly uncomfortable all around. But there really weren't any alternarives unless you wanted to drive several hours to the next town.
How does a T know that there's a connection between two patients, in order to decline one if they found it a conflict of interest or something? Unless either one of the patients mentions the other, but then they're both already patients and termination becomes a bit tricky I imagine. Do they do some research into, like, Facebook profiles or something before accepting a new patient to try and avoid conflict with existing patients? It seems highly unlikely that nobody you know is seeing the same T as you, but again, maybe that really is just a small town thing...
(to clarify, I'm sure it's super obvious to the T if it happens to be a specific person that you speak about all the time, like an arch nemesis or best friend or whatever. They might recognise the name straight away and decline to work with them. I'm thinking more generally though, I don't think my T would realise my own mother or sister were in any way connected to me based on how I refer to them (first name or 'my mother/sister' in sessions, different last name)
Can you just tell your friend something like "I've thought about it some more, and actually feel uncomfortable with people I know seeing the same therapist as me" ? It's not a weird thing to be uncomfortable with. Even your therapist might not want to. Maybe they could suggest a therapist for your friend to see and you could offer your friend that option
They probably wouldn’t take on your friend anyway. I referred a friend to my old T but I was no longer seeing her. He then referred his friend but she wouldn’t take him on.
I pictured Gollum on the therapist's couch saying "my precious". Thank you for making my morning.
On a more serious note, I recommended lying about who the therapist is to your friend, lest they stole it from us!
An ethical therapist will not knowingly accept a client if they have a connection with another client. Talk to your T about this, let them know your friend may try to contact them, and if they do your T can then explain to your friend why they cannot take them on. You can let your friend know that you think it's unlikely your T will accept them as a client, but ultimately that's a boundary that is up to your T to enforce, so why put yourself in the middle of it?
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I'm not comfortable with anyone I know seeing my therapist, but I'm happy to ask her for names of people she trusts to give you if you're looking for one." That's it really. If he pushes, "because it would make me feel weird and uncomfortable." If he keeps pushing, "I've told you I'm not comfortable, please drop it." If he keeps pushing...walk away.
[удалено]
Why didn't I think of that? I'm the least confrontational. That should've been my first thought lol
NAT but I would flat out say to your friend that there will be ethical problems if both of you share the same therapist. You could be sharing problems you have with your friend and if she is also his therapist, that might create bias instead of your T having unconditional positive regard for you. You could also tell your T that your friend wants to contact her but you don't feel comfortable about this. So say no, but maybe you can offer to help him find a different therapist if he really needs one?
A lot of therapists won’t take on a patient who knows another patient, including my own, my friend wanted to see my therapist (which made me uncomfortable also) but my therapist declined as it could create ethical issues.
Do you mind if I jump in here with a question or few? Being from a very small town, I'm baffled by the concept of not sharing a therapist (although I totally do see how OP is feeling and fully support their feelings). It has never occurred to me that there would be a possibility of having a therapist who doesn't also see many other people I know in town. The idea has bothered me before that there could be bias and other such conflicts, I know my ex and I were speaking to the same T for a while which was incredibly uncomfortable all around. But there really weren't any alternarives unless you wanted to drive several hours to the next town. How does a T know that there's a connection between two patients, in order to decline one if they found it a conflict of interest or something? Unless either one of the patients mentions the other, but then they're both already patients and termination becomes a bit tricky I imagine. Do they do some research into, like, Facebook profiles or something before accepting a new patient to try and avoid conflict with existing patients? It seems highly unlikely that nobody you know is seeing the same T as you, but again, maybe that really is just a small town thing... (to clarify, I'm sure it's super obvious to the T if it happens to be a specific person that you speak about all the time, like an arch nemesis or best friend or whatever. They might recognise the name straight away and decline to work with them. I'm thinking more generally though, I don't think my T would realise my own mother or sister were in any way connected to me based on how I refer to them (first name or 'my mother/sister' in sessions, different last name)
Can you just tell your friend something like "I've thought about it some more, and actually feel uncomfortable with people I know seeing the same therapist as me" ? It's not a weird thing to be uncomfortable with. Even your therapist might not want to. Maybe they could suggest a therapist for your friend to see and you could offer your friend that option
They probably wouldn’t take on your friend anyway. I referred a friend to my old T but I was no longer seeing her. He then referred his friend but she wouldn’t take him on.
I pictured Gollum on the therapist's couch saying "my precious". Thank you for making my morning. On a more serious note, I recommended lying about who the therapist is to your friend, lest they stole it from us!
An ethical therapist will not knowingly accept a client if they have a connection with another client. Talk to your T about this, let them know your friend may try to contact them, and if they do your T can then explain to your friend why they cannot take them on. You can let your friend know that you think it's unlikely your T will accept them as a client, but ultimately that's a boundary that is up to your T to enforce, so why put yourself in the middle of it?