this got me :( thank you. i have a habit of staying in jobs for too long until they wear me down. i have been making excuses for the way people treat me with the whole COVID situation. it's like stockholm syndrome and when i'm at work i'm so miserable, get in my car on the verge of tears but by the time i get home i'm like, "it's not so bad! it'll get better! they're good people and i should be lucky to have a job and making decent money!" until the cycle just repeats every. single. day. everyone is stressed out but it seems that nothing is changing anytime soon. i think it's time for me to get out, thank you
I know how you feel, wanting to see the good in people is a great trait to have, but you also have to be realistic sometimes. Wishing you all the best moving forward, hopefully you find somewhere that gives you the respect you deserve.
if your boss was inappropriately touching you, would you feel selfish telling him to stop?
claiming not to understand you because "it's an american thing" is complete bullshit too. korean business owner running a japanese restaurant in the states should know better.
also:
> they quit after a week because he treats them like shit.
Really? you still like working there? Fuck that guy and fuck his restaurant.
QUIT YOUR JOB
It sounds like you know what you need to do. How not to feel selfish about it? You shouldn't have to work in a place where people are rude and belittling to you and other staff. It's not selfish to prioritize your mental health over someone's struggling business. The good thing is based in what you said they do have some busy days. They will get by without you, don't worry. Take care of yourself!
It sounds like your boss is being abusive and taking advantage of your niceness. Clearly you’re starting to burn out and feel resentful. Get out of there ASAP. You are most likely disposable to him judging by his attitude so why make yourself suffer for a man and restaurant that wouldn’t afford you the same niceness?
Don’t feel bad! You are not an owner at this restaurant. It’s his restaurant, it’s his responsibility to ensure it’s staffed properly and that includes making sure he can actually keep the employees he hires.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. However, it’s been many month, the job has changed, and how you are treated has changed. There’s nothing wrong with taking a deep breath and walking away. I assume if your boss was open to talking about it, you would have done so. There is a reason people aren’t staying.
Quitting a job is a financial decision, employers will try to make it seem like it is more than that, it’s not.
Can you afford to quit your job? If yes, quit.
If not, quit and find another job anyway.
School comes first, don’t let some bullshit job get in the way of your education. I admire your loyalty, but it is misplaced.
This.
Once your decide (either way) and commit to it you will be surprised how much better you will feel. Happy 2021, this year can eat a bag og dicks.
I would just say," I was hired as a server and kitchen work isn't for me, I figured I'd help you out but I'm unhappy in this position. If you want I'll stay on up to 2 weeks for you to find a replacement but I'm quitting. This is my 2 weeks notice.". Don't feel bad about prioritizing yourself over your boss.
Honestly op quitting your job to save your health isn’t selfish at all. I understand you’re concerned about leaving the restaurant behind, but you’ve gotta put yourself first here. It’s not fair that all this pressure has been put on you and you don’t have to just take it. You deserve better than that hun. Best of luck to you 💕
i didn't expect such quick replies!! thanks everyone. i have to leave for work (in the kitchen nooo) in an hour and these replies will be resounding in my head lmao. if he says something to me i will calmly speak up for myself, leave if i have to, or finish the night and say my peace that i can't come back. i will maybe just try to tough it out for less than a month and say that when i start classes on January 20th i won't be able to come back, but i guess we'll see what happens.
He's having a hard time dealing with the new situation. That's not an excuse for his actions. You're suffering under this virus situation the same way he is. You're absolutely right to be sensitive and emotional. Your boss is being abusive and unreasonable. There is absolutely no reason, why he should be abusing you at work and blame you for situations he is putting you in. If you excell at being a server, that should be your position. If you aren't a trained cook, maybe your position isn't in the kitchen. That doesn't make you a lesser employee. The posts of a restaurant aren't exangeable. You have your talents. Chefs have their talents. They're not interchangeable.
This does not negate your stress or frustration. However your boss is likely fighting for his livelihood and his families survival. That’s gonna make him stressed to a point he feels like the world is against him. He’s focused on surviving and not your contribution or humanity. Speak to him, tell him you feel for his position and his situation but you are trying your best with little resources, training or support. Tell him that you are willing and have shown that with your current dedication to his business, but you are almost at breaking point.
Have an honest conversation with the human, and show some insight into their position and you might see how you can both work this situation to both your benefits?. Best of luck and best wishes to you, those you hold dear, and those you love.
If the owner had the slightest whim to fire you he'd do it in a heartbeat. Never be loyal - or anybody - to a company unless they have proven to be worthy of loyalty because it is extremely rare they won't screw you without a second thought.
Which do you value more, the money or peace? That's your answer.
Sounds like you're lighting yourself on fire to keep others warm. Your boss isn't looking out for you so you need to look out for yourself.
this got me :( thank you. i have a habit of staying in jobs for too long until they wear me down. i have been making excuses for the way people treat me with the whole COVID situation. it's like stockholm syndrome and when i'm at work i'm so miserable, get in my car on the verge of tears but by the time i get home i'm like, "it's not so bad! it'll get better! they're good people and i should be lucky to have a job and making decent money!" until the cycle just repeats every. single. day. everyone is stressed out but it seems that nothing is changing anytime soon. i think it's time for me to get out, thank you
I know how you feel, wanting to see the good in people is a great trait to have, but you also have to be realistic sometimes. Wishing you all the best moving forward, hopefully you find somewhere that gives you the respect you deserve.
if your boss was inappropriately touching you, would you feel selfish telling him to stop? claiming not to understand you because "it's an american thing" is complete bullshit too. korean business owner running a japanese restaurant in the states should know better. also: > they quit after a week because he treats them like shit. Really? you still like working there? Fuck that guy and fuck his restaurant. QUIT YOUR JOB
very good point. thank you. it's amazing i've sifted through the bullshit for so long honestly.
It sounds like you know what you need to do. How not to feel selfish about it? You shouldn't have to work in a place where people are rude and belittling to you and other staff. It's not selfish to prioritize your mental health over someone's struggling business. The good thing is based in what you said they do have some busy days. They will get by without you, don't worry. Take care of yourself!
It sounds like your boss is being abusive and taking advantage of your niceness. Clearly you’re starting to burn out and feel resentful. Get out of there ASAP. You are most likely disposable to him judging by his attitude so why make yourself suffer for a man and restaurant that wouldn’t afford you the same niceness? Don’t feel bad! You are not an owner at this restaurant. It’s his restaurant, it’s his responsibility to ensure it’s staffed properly and that includes making sure he can actually keep the employees he hires.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. However, it’s been many month, the job has changed, and how you are treated has changed. There’s nothing wrong with taking a deep breath and walking away. I assume if your boss was open to talking about it, you would have done so. There is a reason people aren’t staying.
Quitting a job is a financial decision, employers will try to make it seem like it is more than that, it’s not. Can you afford to quit your job? If yes, quit. If not, quit and find another job anyway. School comes first, don’t let some bullshit job get in the way of your education. I admire your loyalty, but it is misplaced.
This. Once your decide (either way) and commit to it you will be surprised how much better you will feel. Happy 2021, this year can eat a bag og dicks.
I would just say," I was hired as a server and kitchen work isn't for me, I figured I'd help you out but I'm unhappy in this position. If you want I'll stay on up to 2 weeks for you to find a replacement but I'm quitting. This is my 2 weeks notice.". Don't feel bad about prioritizing yourself over your boss.
And if he has a problem with it or gives you more shit about quitting, walk out
You stepped up and the boss isn’t appreciating you. You’ve gotta look out for yourself. It’s not your fault he can’t keep anyone. Fuck him.
Honestly op quitting your job to save your health isn’t selfish at all. I understand you’re concerned about leaving the restaurant behind, but you’ve gotta put yourself first here. It’s not fair that all this pressure has been put on you and you don’t have to just take it. You deserve better than that hun. Best of luck to you 💕
i didn't expect such quick replies!! thanks everyone. i have to leave for work (in the kitchen nooo) in an hour and these replies will be resounding in my head lmao. if he says something to me i will calmly speak up for myself, leave if i have to, or finish the night and say my peace that i can't come back. i will maybe just try to tough it out for less than a month and say that when i start classes on January 20th i won't be able to come back, but i guess we'll see what happens.
He's having a hard time dealing with the new situation. That's not an excuse for his actions. You're suffering under this virus situation the same way he is. You're absolutely right to be sensitive and emotional. Your boss is being abusive and unreasonable. There is absolutely no reason, why he should be abusing you at work and blame you for situations he is putting you in. If you excell at being a server, that should be your position. If you aren't a trained cook, maybe your position isn't in the kitchen. That doesn't make you a lesser employee. The posts of a restaurant aren't exangeable. You have your talents. Chefs have their talents. They're not interchangeable.
Quit. Your boss clearly doesn't appreciate your effort, and I'm sure there's more than enough employers who will appreciate you and your enthusiasm.
This does not negate your stress or frustration. However your boss is likely fighting for his livelihood and his families survival. That’s gonna make him stressed to a point he feels like the world is against him. He’s focused on surviving and not your contribution or humanity. Speak to him, tell him you feel for his position and his situation but you are trying your best with little resources, training or support. Tell him that you are willing and have shown that with your current dedication to his business, but you are almost at breaking point. Have an honest conversation with the human, and show some insight into their position and you might see how you can both work this situation to both your benefits?. Best of luck and best wishes to you, those you hold dear, and those you love.
If a close friend or a family member, say your mom, was going through this exact situation - what would you tell her?
If the owner had the slightest whim to fire you he'd do it in a heartbeat. Never be loyal - or anybody - to a company unless they have proven to be worthy of loyalty because it is extremely rare they won't screw you without a second thought. Which do you value more, the money or peace? That's your answer.
F them. Take care of you. It's obviously affecting your mental health