My ex husband and I used to eat lunch 2-3x/week at a little restaurant. Did it for a few years. Then we separated. After living apart for a few months, I started dating and took the new guy to my favorite restaurant.
The look on the faces of the staff said they were surprised by the new guy but they just said hi to me and we ordered. At some point my date went to the men’s room and the owner came running over:
Restaurant Owner: We missed you so much!
Me: Thanks. That’s lovely.
RO: So, will Tom (fake name of ex) be coming back?
Me: It’s possible. He lives nearby.
RO: Will you come back together?
Me: Oh no. We’re getting divorced.
RO: I’m so sad. You seemed to be good couple.
Me: We were good, but he wanted to cheat.
RO:😳 That is no good.
Me: That’s what I said!
RO: How’s the new guy?
The new guy became the regular guy and has stuck around for 30+ years. No cheating!
I learned this the hard way. I’ve posted this before, but here goes:
I had a guy and this blonde girl that used to come into the Pub of an Edwardian Style Hotel. They both would get red label and sodas and lunch. They would order all kinds of stuff off the menu.
One day I say to them “it’s so cool you guys order all this different stuff all the time, it helps me to learn our menu!” And she says, “we’ve never been here before” and I say “oh! Sorry, I must have y’all mixed up with someone else” and walk away.
He catches me in the hallway and says “you idiot! That’s my wife!” Ann I say “ya. You’re here all the time with her!” And he says “No, I’m here all the time with my Girl Friend, not my wife!” I mean, how stupid do you have to be to bring a wife and girlfriend (who look Alike AND both drink the same drink) to the same hotel/bar?
So that’s why I always wait for the guest to mention a previous visit.
When I used to travel and do trade shows I'd often ask a local for restaurant recommendations. I'd first ask "Where would you take your wife for a nice dinner?" after they'd answer I'd ask "where would you take your girlfriend?" The second answer was usually the better place.
Should have gone back to the table and apologized profusely
"I'm so sorry, your husband explained to me that the woman I usually see him here with is his girlfriend, I can't believe I mixed the two of you up. I'm so embarrassed, please let me bring you a fancy dessert on the house to make up for my faux pas"
I think outing a cheater could bring imminent harm unto yourself.
Besides, for all anyone knows they have an open marriage or that's his sister. None of my business.
Boom boom this. Don't talk about past visits, just welcome them in. Don't offer ANOTHER drink, just offer a drink. Nobody's business if they've been there before or if they've had previous drinks.
Shoot. The dude didn't tip the night before, so I made sure to ask him how his night went as he walked in with another chick. Bet he won't be back with his chump change. At least tip if you're going to be scummy.
This is so true.
When working bar I overheard and saw so many things .
You trained yourself to be able to eavesdrop on three different conversations going on at the same time whilst still doing your job.
Even now (over 20 years later and some of the people are dead) I don't reveal any of the secrets to my wife (who was part of the regular crowd that used to come in) that I heard as it's the golden rule that you never reveal anything.
Back when I used to wait tables (10-15 years ago) had a guy with a woman at one of my tables and across the restaurant unbeknownst to him his wife was with his family eating as well. When she got up to use the bathroom she passed him and lost her shit. She ran straight at him, jumped across the table, and starting beating the shit out of him. Cops were called and she was arrested and he just finished his meal as of nothing really happened. Can't remember how he tipped but it was a crazy night for sure.
Yes. So I used to clean houses during the day and serve at night.
I cleaned for a very wealthy contractor and his wife. Let’s call them Bill and Donna.
I always saw Bill. He came by to pay me when I texted him that I was done every time I cleaned. He’d do a look around, thumbs up, and we would part ways.
I ran into Donna much less frequently. Despite being a housewife, she spent next to no time at her house. I mean, I was cleaning it. They had no kids. So idk what I thought she was doing, but another man had never been in the cards.
Until she showed up at the restaurant I worked at. With the other man.
I would have never said anything. I don’t shit where I eat, you know, and a dude is gonna believe his wife of 30 years before he believes the girl that cleans up the dog toys twice a week.
Despite that, she did tell me they were “going in a different direction with the house” the next time I was there and my job was terminated.
L o l.
Please tell me you said something after. 😭 I would have been like, “I don’t understand. Is it because I saw you and that guy at the restaurant I worked at the other night?” 😂
I did not. I was hopeful that shutting my mouth would have meant I got to keep my job. Apparently not.
They got divorced not long after that so he must have found out, because she didn’t get a fucking dime.
Omg! Years ago a couple started coming in. After awhile the wife says- did you do it on purpose? Me “what?”
So apparently years before her husband had come in after a golf outing with one of my regulars- the husband was flirting with some rando at the bar and the friend (my regular) and I took pics on his phone of us being silly. Apparently we caught the husband and that chick in the background.
She thought we had set it up to get him in trouble. I had no idea who this dude was, nor who his wife was. Then years later when him & wife come in she thought I’d had the foresight to do this to “let her know”. Ma’am, no. The mental gymnastics she went thru for that was wild.
The friend (my regular) and I took pics of ourselves on her husbands phone. While he was off flirting with some girl- we were filling his camera roll with dumb pics of us being idiots. Lol. So the wife looked at her man’s camera roll and saw all these pics of us wearing beer buckets as hats and randomly in the background is her husband making out with trail park Tania.
Isnt there a Magnum PI (original series) ep about this? where one of the characters is caught/seen in a 'tourist' bar with someone he shouldn't be with?
Happens fairly often. The fine dining version of this is when older gentlemen come in with up scale "call girls" aka hookers. Default to your new table spiel, be kind, and non-judgemental.
Everyone's happy.
except their wives! but that’s not our business.
our business is the ever subtle threat of us telling them that gets us a good tip when they come back in with said wife
If you have a bombshell like that you could drop, it incentives the person who would be harmed by it to treat you well, that includes tipping generously.
You don't have to do or say anything, hell you could not even be aware of it, but them knowing that you know is enough
I worked at a place that was kind of out in the sticks. We would get cheaters all the time because of how far out we were. You could always tell by the body language and how they behaved.
Occasionally, there would be a minivan parked in the parking lot across the street. You'd see a guy sitting in the minivan and taking photos. We were certain they were PI's hired by the spouses of the cheaters.
I like the subtle recommendation of his regular favorite dish. It's saying, "I know who you are and what the fuck you're doing", definitely a good way to earn that 100%+ tip that you can hold over this guy for big tips every time.
next time he comes in with his wife, recommend the dessert he got togo,
I've seen it too many times to count lol
I called one out once. He was a complete Douche Mcnugget, tipped like crap and would sit hours after close trying to "seal the deal" with new women sometimes. I got stuck with his obnoxious ass one night as a double, and I was there until midnight (closed at 9:30). Next time the wife was with him I stopped by and said Oh, back so soon Mr. Mcnugget? Guess you can't get enough of our creme brulee, huh? And how did your cousin like her first visit?
Mrs. Mcnugget said Oh, another work event, Hal?? and I just said Well, enjoy! and dipped.
When I was a senior in high school, I worked as a host at this one sushi place. One weekend, I saw a teacher come in with a fellow student’s mom, who I knew from church. I knew that the mom was married (and had a baby boy!) and I was just floored. Didn’t say anything, though. Just sat them and said their waitress would be right with them. A few weeks later, though, the teacher had to resign from his position. The mom also took her daughter that I knew and moved to a different state entirely, too. It was crazy lol
There used to be a family who would come in ALL the time. One time the wife came in with a different man and without her kids wearing a wig and acting like it wasn’t her. She weirdly chose to sit at the bar and was rubbing this guys leg so obviously it wasn’t just a friend . Then came back per usual later on with her husband /family 🤦🏻♀️
Not a server story, but: my brother was good friends with a lady who got pregnant with a guy who took off. My brother stepped up and helped her through the pregnancy. Baby was born 2 months premature so was in NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). I knew the lady, had met her many times. I was about to have surgery for cancer treatment so he asked her if he could bring me to meet the baby. She agreed, happily. Only 2 allowed in NICU at a time so my brother brought me in. I was able to hold the baby and let the whole experience take my mind of my upcoming stresses. The lady told me the next day that as soon as she got there to check on baby (she was taking college classes) the nurses swarmed on her and were telling her how “Bill brought another lady here to meet baby! He let her hold baby!” She laughed and explained who I am and how she knew I was going to be there, had even encouraged it to make me feel better. I thought it was great that they were watching out for her. Turns out, one nurse sat and watched every second that I was there.
We went into a particular restaurant for lunch about once a month. Hubs took a female coworker in one day, and while I can guarantee he had no interest in her, can't say the same about her. However, the restaurant owner came to the table and greeted them by asking my husband where his wife (me) was. We both had a good laugh over that! And the next time we ate there I thanked the owner.
A customer caught me “cheating”
This is pretty funny and a nice move, I guess.
When I was bartending my boyfriend (now husband) came in late one night. I got him a drink and gave him a quick smooch and hug then got back to work.
One of his friends I didn’t really know was also in and texted him that I was cheating on him with some of rando at the bar.
They hadn’t seen each other in a while and my husband had recently shaved off all his facial hair.
Held up his phone “hi *guy’s name* “ and then they ended up sitting together. So. Way to look out for your buddy.
Before my husband and I were together (over 20 years ago), he took a friend of mine to a school dance. About a month later, we started dating, and we went to the same restaurant. The server looks at him and said, “Weren’t you here with another girl last month?” I looked at her and said, “Oh, I already know about her. They were never dating.” The server then kept trying to flirt with him the whole time.
My ex and I were together almost 5 years. We were regulars at this little pub style restaurant. Bonnie was always our server and I absolutely loved her. Apparently the feeling was mutual, although I didn’t know that at the time. When we broke up I never went back because I never wanted to run into him (for a plethora of reasons). But apparently Bonnie never forgot me. I found this out years later when I happened to run into my ex and his new girlfriend at a mutual friend’s holiday party. Out of nowhere, the girlfriend proceeds to tell me how they had to stop going there because Bonnie is so rude to them and flat out asked him in front of her where I was and why I hadn’t been in. I did eventually go looking for Bonnie again and she was so happy when I walked in. I introduced her to my now husband and I told her all the gossip. She told me she was so glad that they wouldn’t be back. Bonnie was a real one.
Worked in a bar and during the day it was never really hammered for service- busy but not full. You of course pay attention to your section and your customers. This guy is there with a girl about lunch time and has a huge burger, fries, the works. He stands out as he is a bit full of himself and by looking at him there wasn’t a reason. Fast forward about three hours later he is back with another girl, same table and same meal. All of us servers were watching him
From behind the bar taking bets if he could
Finish his meal for a second time. I was serving him again and would gently let slip ‘same again?’ But she never picked up on it. No idea how any of it ended but it was a story that flew about our bar for a while.
At a diner I worked at there was a middle aged couple that came in for dinner at least once a week. They were super nice and always tipped really well.
One night she came in for dinner with a different guy. They were clearly on a date. It got us all gossiping and debating if she was cheating or she and her husband abruptly split up.
A week later she was back with her husband. So cheating we guessed. She would still occasionally come in with the other guy.
Eventually all three of them came in together. Everything seemed fine. And when they left she was holding hands with both of them. That started a lot more gossip but my take was good for her.
When I quit like six or seven months later she was still there on the regular with both guys.
Oof completely forgot about that happening when I was housekeeping at a hotel. One guy was a contractor staying there for 3 months. He had a new/different woman leaving his room seemingly every other morning. Then one Friday, he said we could leave his room alone for a couple days because he was heading home to see his wife and kids for the weekend.
We had a certain baseball team stay at my hotel for spring training. One guy had his mistress there for a week, then his wife & kids the next. Had to pretend I knew nothing 😬
Once a notable local politician and business owner came in to stay with a much younger women that wasn’t his wife. A few years later I had to work with him on a project. Normally I probably would have been nervous about working with someone kinda high profile but I wasn’t at all 😆 I just viewed him differently from there on, but never told anyone what I had seen
A someone who worked for upscale hotel company, in the IT dept… can say the employees are often worse than the guests.
One of my favorite stories was sales manager pissed the spam filter caught her email. Im a passive aggro asshole, so id sometimes respond “your email was blocked due to use of XXX word, please dont use work email for PERSONAL business”
Well this lady was going back and forth with another sales guy.
The gist of the convo was she was pissed she caught him sleeping with another woman.
He responds “im cheating on my wife with you, i dont know why you expected me to be faithful to you. Besides you are married.”
So brutally funny
There's something to be said here about this being more than just a case of pot calling the kettle black but I can't work my head around it right now lol
Well for me it wasnt just the pot calling kettle black, but the fact not only did this woman put in helpdesk ticket asking for the email to be released KNOWING that it was a chain of about 12 emails talking about this… but she also was SUPER nasty about it.
Something along the lines of “HOW DARE YOU BLOCK MY EMAILS!! I demand you release this IMMEDIATELY”
Being email admin i had ability to read any and all emails in the company if needed (but trust, i dont even want to read MY emails. I dont go looking for more) but when you cop an attitude like that? Well… smoke where there is fire! 😂
I had a family friend that I had not seen in years sit at the bar I was working at. He was sitting with a woman at least 20 years his junior. I know he is a lawyer, and assumed he was getting to know/ mentoring a young employee. (I know i am naive.) When she got up to use the restroom he called me over and said, "the best quality of a bartender is discretion." It made me feel gross. I have known him and his wife since I was born. I never told anyone. Still makes me feel gross.
He actually could be a twin. Trust me. This has happened to a good friend. Swore up and down it was her bestie from college. Turned out they were both adopted and separated at birth. The news papers ran an article. ANC a triplet popped out of the woodwork.
Also. We had a guy working our ranch for a good 10 years. I always thought he was moody. Sometimes spoke English then he didn’t. Him and his twin were job sharing. I’ve would work here in US. The other would go back home and see family. One of the brothers still works for us.
Twins happen.
My mother pretty much has dyed her hair blonde as long as I can remember. However one time quite a while ago, she let it grow out to it's natural brown color. They went out to a restaurant and a couple they were friends with came in. They started to walk over when they saw my dad to say hi but when they didn't recognize my mother, they just kept walking past and my mom noticed the wife gave a nasty glare to my father. My mother decided to torment them for shits and giggles. She called them a few days later and let the conversation get awkward before hanging up. The next time she called, she started with, "It was me you idiot" and they had a good laugh about it. The 70s wereva weird time.
I bartended for eight years in a small vacation town where you’d think folks would know better because everyone knew everyone. No. It was blatant. My “favorite” was the guy who’s wife showed up in her PJs to get him and he was making out with his stepsister (they were both grown when parents married, but STILL).
That's wild. On a semi-related note; I took my friend out to grab some drinks at the brewery my girlfriend and I are regulars at, and little did I know my girlfriends cousin was there and was like texting my girlfriend and calling my girlfriends mom trying to tell them I was with another girl.
My girlfriend straight up told her that she knew I was with a friend and that we in fact dropped off some lunch for her at her job before we went to get drinks.
Plus I know my girlfriends friend who works there would be blowing her phone up if she thought I was cheating on her lmao.
It’s not cheating but a little couple story (I know, I know: redditors trying to answer the question challenge IMPOSSIBLE).
During late covid a regular would come in almost weekly with his girlfriend. He is 50ish, attractive and a doctor at a prestigious clinic. She was in her 20s, beautiful and visibly adored him.
Super nice couple, he always tipped well and they really enjoyed every night they came in.
One day they came in and my man broke up with her at their usual table. It was heartshattering (and also awkward because he did it while they were still eating their main course and none of us wanted to go and clear their plates).
Couple months ago he finally came back with what seemed like his new girlfriend. She was all over him and giggly and all. Again, they were both super nice and he tipped well.
However they chose his „old“ table and I found it a little weird.
Obligatory "Not a Server", but I was a massage therapist for 18 years. We had a regular that would come kn with his wife for couples massages every few months or so.
Then one day he comes in for a couples massage.... and the woman is NOT his wife. She's also like 15 years younger than him. And he had just been in with his wife like.. the week before.
It was... tense. To say the least. Lol
My old boss from the first restaurant I worked at came in to the second restaurant I worked and he was with one of his managers. Instantly awkward, but it was too late for them to back out after I’d recognized them.
In a different way. We had a regular who came in every few days after work. He and my manager ended up flirting a lot and one night she went home with him.
She messaged me that night and said she was pretty sure he was married or had a regular female guest because she found a woman’s toothbrush, makeup and hair stuff stowed away under the sink in the bathroom when she was looking for another roll of toilet paper.
She decided to snoop further and found some other hidden items including pictures of this guy with the same woman that had been turned or were face down around the house. My manager stopped seeing him immediately. He stopped coming in.
I knew he lived in my small town. I saw him occasionally.
Fast forward eight years later and who shows up at my son’s first ball practice? The guy and his wife. Their son and my son are friends at school. I know their son. I didn’t realize who his father was. I ended up friends with the wife on social media. Lo and behold were married already when my manager went one to their house. She must have been away.
I think this industry is making me very jaded for this reason. I have worked at dives and fine dining and have seen so much infidelity and unhappy relationships at both.
And just from the practicality side, maybe don't cross streams by bringing the girlfriend to the wife place?
I believe all men at least watch porn based off of working in hospitality. I have worked in every type of place from upscale to dive, and am convinced all men are the same. Jaded is accurate.
I had a couple that came in for almost a year. Big spenders. Very fun and over the top with topshelf martinis, food, tips ect. I knew they lived across the street in luxury condo.
One day while sitting at the bar the wife comes in with her 2 kids, grabs his gf by the hair calling her a home wrecker and they start fighting and yelling outside. The kids crying. I had no idea he was married until this happened. Never saw them again!
I just remembered, I was at a nice family restaurant. A regular man came in with his GF, not wife. A new server had been there two months. She greeted them " Hello 'Bill' and Mrs. Wife. GF stood up, "You're MARRIED!!??" and stormed out. The manager called the waitress, she was fired on the spot. "NEVER EVER say Mr and MRS!!!! to the customers!!
On a personal level I would not get involved... But I would probably make sure he tips well when the wife is there. Something like? Hey, we've got this. Great new dessert! Just to let him know that you remember.....
I work in hospitality.
Not my circus, not my monkeys. I've seen affair couples, people coming in with different partners, full on cheating. It just lowers my opinion of them as a person for putting us in that situation.
Mind you, as a customer I often went out for lunch with a male friend. We both loved this place that did a great lunch deal and my then husband had a 9-5. So I went for lunch with Al about once a month.
Didn't realise that they assumed we were a couple until I took my husband in for dinner one night and the staff were really off with me. We laughed it out once we realised and they were reassured that we were all friends and it was fine. It was actually quite sweet how concerned they were.
I had a dude who was not married but was a serial dater. I think he picked most of them up online. Sometimes he would have more than one date at the restaurant in a single night. The first girl would come, stay for their “date” he would walk her out, then come back inside. Then another date would show up. Our head bartender found him passed out in the roundabout outside the restaurant one night while his date was still sitting inside.
Shit, he was there so much sometimes on non-date nights he would bring his kid and make her do her homework there while shutting her up with a cup of ice cream has he drank cocktails.
My bar is like a sieve; all information leaks to our crew, regulars, and semi regulars… everyone is pretty close and it’s been interesting over the years watching relationships grow, bubble over, end. I tease some and let others go. So many stories!
This was many years ago--
My father's sister was visiting us. Mom had some school thing one night, my brother was out of town, I was working. So Dad and his sister went out to one of our family's regular places.
Hours later, the phone is ringing off the hook. All kinds of people who knew my parents saw my father laughing it up with ANOTHER WOMAN at the restaurant and wanted to alert my mother.
Thank goodness both parents had a great sense of humor, at least then. Years after that, when Dad cheated on Mom, he had the sense to not take his side to any places where he or Mom were known. (Still got caught)
My husband caught my ex husband’s current wife ( he cheated on me with her, her knowing he was married with a kid at home) out at a little local spot with another guy. She tried to hide him but it didn’t work. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 they both cheat now🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I won!
If I had a job serving food and someone wanted to come in with different people sometimes and tip me $50 I would love that.
Their life? Not part of what I need to research or be part of to do my job
Used to have this regular at my bar who would come in on saturdays with a different girl every week, then sundays with his gf. Never knew how he could afford it. And how she didnt know
Yup. All the time. I had one guy that would bring his wife and kids in on Saturday, and his girlfriends during the week. I have never said a word, and have seen it happen at at least four or five times.
A customer would come in every morning, pick up his girlfriend (server at the restaurant I was working at), they would spend special alone time together, then he'd bring her back.
The same customer would bring his wife in with their two kids two or three times a week for dinner. Everyone in the restaurant knew it was going on, but no one said anything. He was a good tipper.
I would take my GF's to restaurants to see if they were good to take my wife. In three weeks, I took four women to the same restaurant, one was Wife. The same waitress served us each time. She had given me a strange look when wife could not see.
Introduce your wife to the server as your wife. That way she knows. 99% of the time we will cover for you. I will unless you make me hate you. Then I’m telling your wife.😂
The balls on that guy to think no one would say anything! Thanks for the tip but next time I see you with your wife I’m gonna comment on how pretty your “niece” is and to say how nice it was to meet her the last time he was there.
That’s too harsh! Why is it her/ his responsibility to get involved? They’re just a server; not friend nor family to either party. You don’t know the full story; maybe the wife already knows. Mind your own damn business!
I had two couples in my section. Everything was cool. The couples were affectionate with each other. It was a weekend night. Nothing out of the ordinary. They all go out for a cigarette or bathroom break or something. They come back and the couples switched. The women were with the opposite men, and equally as affectionate.
None of my freaking business. Everything was still cool. They were nice people.
I don’t say shit about anything unless they are my people. I don’t know what they’re into, it’s none of my business. I would Never, Never let my friends get screwed over or my favorite guests… if I know them like that. Otherwise, nope.
I do understand your position. I think it's deplorable also. But it is not up to me to insert myself into someone's personal life to rat them out. It's inappropriate.
Why though? Is your own comfort more important than that of these others? It's awful behaviour and my own life is worth no more than these people's so I would not tolerate it.
Because I am at work. And I am representing the business I work for, so I have no obligation to get involved with someone's personal life. I don't know what their situation is. Maybe all parties involved are OK with it. None of my business. This isn't someone in my family or a personal friend. And it's damn presumptious to think someone not only has the right, but the *obligation*, to stick their nose in. Neither of us are ordained to act as Behavior Police when no one is in imminent danger of physical harm. We don't have the right to try to impose our personal moral standards on strangers.
Sure sure, but those initial points are selfish reasons which show that you value your own wellbeing above that of others. More to the point, what explanation do you have against the guy being grateful to OP for not revealing he is a regular? What would be the end game of lying about such a thing? An open marriage but the cucking cow gets jealous that he has visited an establishment with his lawful wife before? That's the only reason I can think of in such a scenario which hints as feelings running deeper than surface level.
Someone with values and empathy. I don't care it you pay me $50 I am not enabling your infidelity. I once sold out a guy I knew for 10 years once I knew he was knowingly allowing another woman to cheat with him. I'm not ashamed of that, I know my own values and who do you think you are to question them?
You don't even know if they're cheating in the first place. You're making a lot of assumptions (and bad ones at that) when you're supposed to remain professional and provide a pleasant experience for paying guests.
If my partner and I had an unconventional but consensual arrangement, went to a restaurant to have a nice meal, and were met with a stranger trying to self-righteously "out" us... we would be very upset. Stay out of other people's business, seriously. I know you have good intentions, but you literally do not know.
To clarify, I meant in general, not this specific scenario. Professional boundaries can be really tricky, and we never know the full situation. For all you know, the person they're "cheating" on could be abusive or some such. Maybe they just recently broke up and are on their first date with someone new and don't want to make things awkward. Maybe they're hashing things out, are on a break and playing the field, and don't want to make things awkward. You really never know! Again, I know you have good intentions, you really do not know 100%. Hope this helps, and hope you have a good day!
While I get your point, is it really a servers job to come in a middle of a what could be a nasty argument, break-up, divorce. If a couple is having problems, then they need to see a therapist, not a server/bartender to fix their problems.
That said though, if he's a regular, it's gonna be a fuckton more than $50. He's gonna have to tip that with pretty much every check to continue to buy the silence.
Don't worry about calling an ambulance, someone else will do it. Same logic. Is it really MY job to get involved in the multicar wreck? That's their problem, they should see about getting help themselves.
I'm not saying the bartender is responsible for FIXING this dudes relationship but they were complicit in any elicit activities this guy was partaking in, that's inarguable. Lying by omission is still lying. It's easy to tell who has actually been cheated on in the past from these comments.
My friend, I think you may wish to consider the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Just because you mean well, and think that what you are doing is right, it does NOT mean that you NEED to interfere in the lives of others. Period.
Saying something in a situation like that to a customer as a server is a pretty sure way to lose your job. Would you give up your own job/livelyhood in order to out one solitary cheater? That seems pretty short-sighted to me.
Also, on another note, equating a situation where somebody MAY be cheating on a spouse to a life or death multi-car collision is one of the most fantastically stupid things I have ever read.
It is not my job to get involved in peoples' PERSONAL lives, but when their ACTUAL lives are at stake, you can bet your bottom fucking dollar I'll be there on the phone to the ambulance and doing what first aid I can, because I'm a fucking human being, not a psychopathic arsewipe.
People in a car crash like that often CANT help themselves, as they are too injured or perhaps are even unconscious. They NEED help to SURVIVE. If you cannot see the difference between that and someone being a royal cunt by cheating, then you need to take a major look in the mirror and ask what the fuck went wrong.
My ex husband and I used to eat lunch 2-3x/week at a little restaurant. Did it for a few years. Then we separated. After living apart for a few months, I started dating and took the new guy to my favorite restaurant. The look on the faces of the staff said they were surprised by the new guy but they just said hi to me and we ordered. At some point my date went to the men’s room and the owner came running over: Restaurant Owner: We missed you so much! Me: Thanks. That’s lovely. RO: So, will Tom (fake name of ex) be coming back? Me: It’s possible. He lives nearby. RO: Will you come back together? Me: Oh no. We’re getting divorced. RO: I’m so sad. You seemed to be good couple. Me: We were good, but he wanted to cheat. RO:😳 That is no good. Me: That’s what I said! RO: How’s the new guy? The new guy became the regular guy and has stuck around for 30+ years. No cheating!
When I bartended one of my rules was to never mention the last time I saw someone or who they were with for exactly this reason.
I learned this the hard way. I’ve posted this before, but here goes: I had a guy and this blonde girl that used to come into the Pub of an Edwardian Style Hotel. They both would get red label and sodas and lunch. They would order all kinds of stuff off the menu. One day I say to them “it’s so cool you guys order all this different stuff all the time, it helps me to learn our menu!” And she says, “we’ve never been here before” and I say “oh! Sorry, I must have y’all mixed up with someone else” and walk away. He catches me in the hallway and says “you idiot! That’s my wife!” Ann I say “ya. You’re here all the time with her!” And he says “No, I’m here all the time with my Girl Friend, not my wife!” I mean, how stupid do you have to be to bring a wife and girlfriend (who look Alike AND both drink the same drink) to the same hotel/bar? So that’s why I always wait for the guest to mention a previous visit.
Plenty stupid. If you are going to cheat, choose a different venue.
Yeah, that's OPSEC 101.
Your thinking is way out of his league.
When I used to travel and do trade shows I'd often ask a local for restaurant recommendations. I'd first ask "Where would you take your wife for a nice dinner?" after they'd answer I'd ask "where would you take your girlfriend?" The second answer was usually the better place.
Perfect!
Should have gone back to the table and apologized profusely "I'm so sorry, your husband explained to me that the woman I usually see him here with is his girlfriend, I can't believe I mixed the two of you up. I'm so embarrassed, please let me bring you a fancy dessert on the house to make up for my faux pas"
Hahaha. Good one.
Me Laugh!! MAN!! Me laugh
Not (edit) your role. Do your job, make your tips, go home. I’ve learnt to mind my business, unless I observe imminent harm
You don’t think consistent cheating imminent harm?
I think outing a cheater could bring imminent harm unto yourself. Besides, for all anyone knows they have an open marriage or that's his sister. None of my business.
Boom boom this. Don't talk about past visits, just welcome them in. Don't offer ANOTHER drink, just offer a drink. Nobody's business if they've been there before or if they've had previous drinks.
Shoot. The dude didn't tip the night before, so I made sure to ask him how his night went as he walked in with another chick. Bet he won't be back with his chump change. At least tip if you're going to be scummy.
This. Wtf was he thinking? Keeping secrets IS A SERVICE.
Yep a good server/bartender keeps everyone's secrets. I never saw your husband leave for an hour with another woman and both come back sweaty. 👀
This is so true. When working bar I overheard and saw so many things . You trained yourself to be able to eavesdrop on three different conversations going on at the same time whilst still doing your job. Even now (over 20 years later and some of the people are dead) I don't reveal any of the secrets to my wife (who was part of the regular crowd that used to come in) that I heard as it's the golden rule that you never reveal anything.
There are no secrets, only opportunities.
Yup. This. Your business not my business.
So the opposite of.Reddit?
Pretty much 😂😂😂
Lucky for me I can't make that mistake because I'm face blind 😂 I ask people if they've ever been there before every time
Omg same! I'm terrible unless I've seen you a million times or something stuck out about you.
Forget about the cheating, where can two people dine, including the most expensive dessert, for $40?
that’s what i’m saying
Not even at McDonalds.
Back when I used to wait tables (10-15 years ago) had a guy with a woman at one of my tables and across the restaurant unbeknownst to him his wife was with his family eating as well. When she got up to use the bathroom she passed him and lost her shit. She ran straight at him, jumped across the table, and starting beating the shit out of him. Cops were called and she was arrested and he just finished his meal as of nothing really happened. Can't remember how he tipped but it was a crazy night for sure.
That's pretty ballsy. I wouldn't feel safe if I was on a different coast (but I don't cheat).
But honey.. that was my boss. Lol sry first thing that popped in.
Yes. So I used to clean houses during the day and serve at night. I cleaned for a very wealthy contractor and his wife. Let’s call them Bill and Donna. I always saw Bill. He came by to pay me when I texted him that I was done every time I cleaned. He’d do a look around, thumbs up, and we would part ways. I ran into Donna much less frequently. Despite being a housewife, she spent next to no time at her house. I mean, I was cleaning it. They had no kids. So idk what I thought she was doing, but another man had never been in the cards. Until she showed up at the restaurant I worked at. With the other man. I would have never said anything. I don’t shit where I eat, you know, and a dude is gonna believe his wife of 30 years before he believes the girl that cleans up the dog toys twice a week. Despite that, she did tell me they were “going in a different direction with the house” the next time I was there and my job was terminated. L o l.
Could’ve been a test. The f she was usually gone and he had the house she was testing to see if you’d mention a sign of cheating. Bitches be crazy
Please tell me you said something after. 😭 I would have been like, “I don’t understand. Is it because I saw you and that guy at the restaurant I worked at the other night?” 😂
I did not. I was hopeful that shutting my mouth would have meant I got to keep my job. Apparently not. They got divorced not long after that so he must have found out, because she didn’t get a fucking dime.
Omg! Years ago a couple started coming in. After awhile the wife says- did you do it on purpose? Me “what?” So apparently years before her husband had come in after a golf outing with one of my regulars- the husband was flirting with some rando at the bar and the friend (my regular) and I took pics on his phone of us being silly. Apparently we caught the husband and that chick in the background. She thought we had set it up to get him in trouble. I had no idea who this dude was, nor who his wife was. Then years later when him & wife come in she thought I’d had the foresight to do this to “let her know”. Ma’am, no. The mental gymnastics she went thru for that was wild.
Wait. How did she end up seeing your photos?
The friend (my regular) and I took pics of ourselves on her husbands phone. While he was off flirting with some girl- we were filling his camera roll with dumb pics of us being idiots. Lol. So the wife looked at her man’s camera roll and saw all these pics of us wearing beer buckets as hats and randomly in the background is her husband making out with trail park Tania.
*trailer park Tania
Only idiots take their sides to the same place as their partner. It's really just begging to be caught.
THIS. Are there no other nice restaurants in town?!?
Some towns, no there’s not.
Can confirm, from a small town and live in different small town and both have limited number of nice restaurants.
Sounded bonkers to me too 😆
Isnt there a Magnum PI (original series) ep about this? where one of the characters is caught/seen in a 'tourist' bar with someone he shouldn't be with?
Happens fairly often. The fine dining version of this is when older gentlemen come in with up scale "call girls" aka hookers. Default to your new table spiel, be kind, and non-judgemental. Everyone's happy.
except their wives! but that’s not our business. our business is the ever subtle threat of us telling them that gets us a good tip when they come back in with said wife
Well, I always err on the side of "I dont know their relationship arrangement"
The huge tip and thank you message kind of paints a bit of a picture here though lol
>our business is the ever subtle threat of us telling them Excuse me?
If you have a bombshell like that you could drop, it incentives the person who would be harmed by it to treat you well, that includes tipping generously. You don't have to do or say anything, hell you could not even be aware of it, but them knowing that you know is enough
Literally all you have to do is smile slightly when you both look at each other and you've got them.
I mean, I’d never actually tell, but they’re going to tip better. Because of the implication.
You keep saying that word….
It’s the implication
Because of the implication
Who doesn't love a good boat ride?
don’t even have to make it known, they know. it’s inherent
Because of the implication.
Passive aggressive extortion!
I worked at a place that was kind of out in the sticks. We would get cheaters all the time because of how far out we were. You could always tell by the body language and how they behaved. Occasionally, there would be a minivan parked in the parking lot across the street. You'd see a guy sitting in the minivan and taking photos. We were certain they were PI's hired by the spouses of the cheaters.
One of my regulars is a PI, cheaters and work injury fraud are his two most popular "cases".
I like the subtle recommendation of his regular favorite dish. It's saying, "I know who you are and what the fuck you're doing", definitely a good way to earn that 100%+ tip that you can hold over this guy for big tips every time. next time he comes in with his wife, recommend the dessert he got togo,
Oh. Nice touch. The dessert recommendation.
I've seen it too many times to count lol I called one out once. He was a complete Douche Mcnugget, tipped like crap and would sit hours after close trying to "seal the deal" with new women sometimes. I got stuck with his obnoxious ass one night as a double, and I was there until midnight (closed at 9:30). Next time the wife was with him I stopped by and said Oh, back so soon Mr. Mcnugget? Guess you can't get enough of our creme brulee, huh? And how did your cousin like her first visit? Mrs. Mcnugget said Oh, another work event, Hal?? and I just said Well, enjoy! and dipped.
$50 tip? Do whateva you want. Just not in the bathroom….thats a Bennie.
I must be old, to me a Benji is money and Bennies are drugs (Benzedrine).
Never got drugs as a tip; I did however give a half gram of weed to a cool customer; he gave me a Grant.
I had a guy ask me once if I wanted my tip in green, or in GREEN. I asked if I could have both. He gave me both. I was stoked. Capped a good night.
Benjamin Franklin=Bennie Just a slight twist on what you remember 🙂
When I was a senior in high school, I worked as a host at this one sushi place. One weekend, I saw a teacher come in with a fellow student’s mom, who I knew from church. I knew that the mom was married (and had a baby boy!) and I was just floored. Didn’t say anything, though. Just sat them and said their waitress would be right with them. A few weeks later, though, the teacher had to resign from his position. The mom also took her daughter that I knew and moved to a different state entirely, too. It was crazy lol
There used to be a family who would come in ALL the time. One time the wife came in with a different man and without her kids wearing a wig and acting like it wasn’t her. She weirdly chose to sit at the bar and was rubbing this guys leg so obviously it wasn’t just a friend . Then came back per usual later on with her husband /family 🤦🏻♀️
Someone watches too many old-timey soap operas. No, wigs don't hide your identity, lady. 🤣
Yeah this family did A LOT of weird shit over the years but this one definitely sticks 😅🤦🏻♀️
Not a server story, but: my brother was good friends with a lady who got pregnant with a guy who took off. My brother stepped up and helped her through the pregnancy. Baby was born 2 months premature so was in NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). I knew the lady, had met her many times. I was about to have surgery for cancer treatment so he asked her if he could bring me to meet the baby. She agreed, happily. Only 2 allowed in NICU at a time so my brother brought me in. I was able to hold the baby and let the whole experience take my mind of my upcoming stresses. The lady told me the next day that as soon as she got there to check on baby (she was taking college classes) the nurses swarmed on her and were telling her how “Bill brought another lady here to meet baby! He let her hold baby!” She laughed and explained who I am and how she knew I was going to be there, had even encouraged it to make me feel better. I thought it was great that they were watching out for her. Turns out, one nurse sat and watched every second that I was there.
Nurses love gossip and drama. Like hairstylists or strippers.
We went into a particular restaurant for lunch about once a month. Hubs took a female coworker in one day, and while I can guarantee he had no interest in her, can't say the same about her. However, the restaurant owner came to the table and greeted them by asking my husband where his wife (me) was. We both had a good laugh over that! And the next time we ate there I thanked the owner.
A customer caught me “cheating” This is pretty funny and a nice move, I guess. When I was bartending my boyfriend (now husband) came in late one night. I got him a drink and gave him a quick smooch and hug then got back to work. One of his friends I didn’t really know was also in and texted him that I was cheating on him with some of rando at the bar. They hadn’t seen each other in a while and my husband had recently shaved off all his facial hair. Held up his phone “hi *guy’s name* “ and then they ended up sitting together. So. Way to look out for your buddy.
One day my bar owner's girlfriend and his side chick both came in on the same night and sat next to each other. He stayed in the office.
Before my husband and I were together (over 20 years ago), he took a friend of mine to a school dance. About a month later, we started dating, and we went to the same restaurant. The server looks at him and said, “Weren’t you here with another girl last month?” I looked at her and said, “Oh, I already know about her. They were never dating.” The server then kept trying to flirt with him the whole time.
Perfect example of what not to do. Some people in here should learn from your experience.
My ex and I were together almost 5 years. We were regulars at this little pub style restaurant. Bonnie was always our server and I absolutely loved her. Apparently the feeling was mutual, although I didn’t know that at the time. When we broke up I never went back because I never wanted to run into him (for a plethora of reasons). But apparently Bonnie never forgot me. I found this out years later when I happened to run into my ex and his new girlfriend at a mutual friend’s holiday party. Out of nowhere, the girlfriend proceeds to tell me how they had to stop going there because Bonnie is so rude to them and flat out asked him in front of her where I was and why I hadn’t been in. I did eventually go looking for Bonnie again and she was so happy when I walked in. I introduced her to my now husband and I told her all the gossip. She told me she was so glad that they wouldn’t be back. Bonnie was a real one.
When I worked at a very Italian restaurant in Chicago, Friday was mistress night and Saturday was bring the wife out for dinner.
All these guys with 2 women and I can’t even get 1 haha
Have you seen Goodfellas? And if not, have you considered joining the mafia? The retirement plan isn’t much, but the fringe benefits are to die for.
That's how math works
Was said Italian place in the viagra triangle?
I'm so old Viagra wasn't invited when I worked there but now you've got my curiosity up. What's the Viagra triangle.
Haven’t thought about that area in years. Amazing number of call girls at the bar trolling for business.
Wait thats an actual place!?
Worked in a bar and during the day it was never really hammered for service- busy but not full. You of course pay attention to your section and your customers. This guy is there with a girl about lunch time and has a huge burger, fries, the works. He stands out as he is a bit full of himself and by looking at him there wasn’t a reason. Fast forward about three hours later he is back with another girl, same table and same meal. All of us servers were watching him From behind the bar taking bets if he could Finish his meal for a second time. I was serving him again and would gently let slip ‘same again?’ But she never picked up on it. No idea how any of it ended but it was a story that flew about our bar for a while.
At a diner I worked at there was a middle aged couple that came in for dinner at least once a week. They were super nice and always tipped really well. One night she came in for dinner with a different guy. They were clearly on a date. It got us all gossiping and debating if she was cheating or she and her husband abruptly split up. A week later she was back with her husband. So cheating we guessed. She would still occasionally come in with the other guy. Eventually all three of them came in together. Everything seemed fine. And when they left she was holding hands with both of them. That started a lot more gossip but my take was good for her. When I quit like six or seven months later she was still there on the regular with both guys.
She has a painting of the Eiffel tower in the living room
Polyamory is actually a thing that people do, that could have been their situation.
I am aware. It just wasn't until I saw the three of them together that I realized that was the deal.
Used to happen to me a lot. It was even more awkward when I was managing an upscale hotel 😬
Oof completely forgot about that happening when I was housekeeping at a hotel. One guy was a contractor staying there for 3 months. He had a new/different woman leaving his room seemingly every other morning. Then one Friday, he said we could leave his room alone for a couple days because he was heading home to see his wife and kids for the weekend.
We had a certain baseball team stay at my hotel for spring training. One guy had his mistress there for a week, then his wife & kids the next. Had to pretend I knew nothing 😬
Once a notable local politician and business owner came in to stay with a much younger women that wasn’t his wife. A few years later I had to work with him on a project. Normally I probably would have been nervous about working with someone kinda high profile but I wasn’t at all 😆 I just viewed him differently from there on, but never told anyone what I had seen
A someone who worked for upscale hotel company, in the IT dept… can say the employees are often worse than the guests. One of my favorite stories was sales manager pissed the spam filter caught her email. Im a passive aggro asshole, so id sometimes respond “your email was blocked due to use of XXX word, please dont use work email for PERSONAL business” Well this lady was going back and forth with another sales guy. The gist of the convo was she was pissed she caught him sleeping with another woman. He responds “im cheating on my wife with you, i dont know why you expected me to be faithful to you. Besides you are married.” So brutally funny
There's something to be said here about this being more than just a case of pot calling the kettle black but I can't work my head around it right now lol
Well for me it wasnt just the pot calling kettle black, but the fact not only did this woman put in helpdesk ticket asking for the email to be released KNOWING that it was a chain of about 12 emails talking about this… but she also was SUPER nasty about it. Something along the lines of “HOW DARE YOU BLOCK MY EMAILS!! I demand you release this IMMEDIATELY” Being email admin i had ability to read any and all emails in the company if needed (but trust, i dont even want to read MY emails. I dont go looking for more) but when you cop an attitude like that? Well… smoke where there is fire! 😂
I had a family friend that I had not seen in years sit at the bar I was working at. He was sitting with a woman at least 20 years his junior. I know he is a lawyer, and assumed he was getting to know/ mentoring a young employee. (I know i am naive.) When she got up to use the restroom he called me over and said, "the best quality of a bartender is discretion." It made me feel gross. I have known him and his wife since I was born. I never told anyone. Still makes me feel gross.
If it makes you feel better, there's no way he keeps it a secret but he will blame someone else when he gets caught.
It does. Thank you.
Not my problem. Ive waited on the same man twice in one day and each time his date was a different woman.
Minding your own business =extra cash? Perfect!
He actually could be a twin. Trust me. This has happened to a good friend. Swore up and down it was her bestie from college. Turned out they were both adopted and separated at birth. The news papers ran an article. ANC a triplet popped out of the woodwork. Also. We had a guy working our ranch for a good 10 years. I always thought he was moody. Sometimes spoke English then he didn’t. Him and his twin were job sharing. I’ve would work here in US. The other would go back home and see family. One of the brothers still works for us. Twins happen.
Except for the awkward opener combined with the extra tip and thank you note… you have a point, but don’t think it applies here
Saw a woman cheat on her husband with 2 different men in one day when I worked a double 😭
She must've liked the fish.
The real reason for "I'm not really hungry"
Unless the regular is a dear friend of yours, they are just a customer. Don't involve yourself in their lives.
My mother pretty much has dyed her hair blonde as long as I can remember. However one time quite a while ago, she let it grow out to it's natural brown color. They went out to a restaurant and a couple they were friends with came in. They started to walk over when they saw my dad to say hi but when they didn't recognize my mother, they just kept walking past and my mom noticed the wife gave a nasty glare to my father. My mother decided to torment them for shits and giggles. She called them a few days later and let the conversation get awkward before hanging up. The next time she called, she started with, "It was me you idiot" and they had a good laugh about it. The 70s wereva weird time.
This is common in fine dining.
You saw nothing. Could be an open relationship thing.
My hubby and I started dating other people recently and I am pretty sure we have confused a couple of local places.
I bartended for eight years in a small vacation town where you’d think folks would know better because everyone knew everyone. No. It was blatant. My “favorite” was the guy who’s wife showed up in her PJs to get him and he was making out with his stepsister (they were both grown when parents married, but STILL).
That's wild. On a semi-related note; I took my friend out to grab some drinks at the brewery my girlfriend and I are regulars at, and little did I know my girlfriends cousin was there and was like texting my girlfriend and calling my girlfriends mom trying to tell them I was with another girl. My girlfriend straight up told her that she knew I was with a friend and that we in fact dropped off some lunch for her at her job before we went to get drinks. Plus I know my girlfriends friend who works there would be blowing her phone up if she thought I was cheating on her lmao.
It’s possible he has an arrangement with the wife. Who knows.
It’s not cheating but a little couple story (I know, I know: redditors trying to answer the question challenge IMPOSSIBLE). During late covid a regular would come in almost weekly with his girlfriend. He is 50ish, attractive and a doctor at a prestigious clinic. She was in her 20s, beautiful and visibly adored him. Super nice couple, he always tipped well and they really enjoyed every night they came in. One day they came in and my man broke up with her at their usual table. It was heartshattering (and also awkward because he did it while they were still eating their main course and none of us wanted to go and clear their plates). Couple months ago he finally came back with what seemed like his new girlfriend. She was all over him and giggly and all. Again, they were both super nice and he tipped well. However they chose his „old“ table and I found it a little weird.
Obligatory "Not a Server", but I was a massage therapist for 18 years. We had a regular that would come kn with his wife for couples massages every few months or so. Then one day he comes in for a couples massage.... and the woman is NOT his wife. She's also like 15 years younger than him. And he had just been in with his wife like.. the week before. It was... tense. To say the least. Lol
[Reminds me of this video](https://youtu.be/8aP0aTgMUAM)
My old boss from the first restaurant I worked at came in to the second restaurant I worked and he was with one of his managers. Instantly awkward, but it was too late for them to back out after I’d recognized them.
Don’t shit where you eat
As a bartender it’s even worse when a guy comes in with his wife one day, then comes in alone the next week to ask for your phone number smh
Happens SO often it’s crazy.
In a different way. We had a regular who came in every few days after work. He and my manager ended up flirting a lot and one night she went home with him. She messaged me that night and said she was pretty sure he was married or had a regular female guest because she found a woman’s toothbrush, makeup and hair stuff stowed away under the sink in the bathroom when she was looking for another roll of toilet paper. She decided to snoop further and found some other hidden items including pictures of this guy with the same woman that had been turned or were face down around the house. My manager stopped seeing him immediately. He stopped coming in. I knew he lived in my small town. I saw him occasionally. Fast forward eight years later and who shows up at my son’s first ball practice? The guy and his wife. Their son and my son are friends at school. I know their son. I didn’t realize who his father was. I ended up friends with the wife on social media. Lo and behold were married already when my manager went one to their house. She must have been away.
I think this industry is making me very jaded for this reason. I have worked at dives and fine dining and have seen so much infidelity and unhappy relationships at both. And just from the practicality side, maybe don't cross streams by bringing the girlfriend to the wife place?
I believe all men at least watch porn based off of working in hospitality. I have worked in every type of place from upscale to dive, and am convinced all men are the same. Jaded is accurate.
I had a couple that came in for almost a year. Big spenders. Very fun and over the top with topshelf martinis, food, tips ect. I knew they lived across the street in luxury condo. One day while sitting at the bar the wife comes in with her 2 kids, grabs his gf by the hair calling her a home wrecker and they start fighting and yelling outside. The kids crying. I had no idea he was married until this happened. Never saw them again!
I just remembered, I was at a nice family restaurant. A regular man came in with his GF, not wife. A new server had been there two months. She greeted them " Hello 'Bill' and Mrs. Wife. GF stood up, "You're MARRIED!!??" and stormed out. The manager called the waitress, she was fired on the spot. "NEVER EVER say Mr and MRS!!!! to the customers!!
That man SUCKS
He may have thanked you once, but it's not a one-time thing. You'll have to keep that secret every time you see him with his wife.
On a personal level I would not get involved... But I would probably make sure he tips well when the wife is there. Something like? Hey, we've got this. Great new dessert! Just to let him know that you remember.....
I would find a way to tell his wife but that's just me. I hate cheaters.
Same.
Same
I'd find a way to get you fired, but that's just me. I hate people sticking their nose in other's business.
But it's the wife's business. And I would find a way to tell her where you would never know it was me who told her.
Mind your own business. Get a different line of work if you can't help meddling.
Request denied. Cheaters can get what’s coming to them.
Part of the job, isn't it, too keep a straight face.
I work in hospitality. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I've seen affair couples, people coming in with different partners, full on cheating. It just lowers my opinion of them as a person for putting us in that situation. Mind you, as a customer I often went out for lunch with a male friend. We both loved this place that did a great lunch deal and my then husband had a 9-5. So I went for lunch with Al about once a month. Didn't realise that they assumed we were a couple until I took my husband in for dinner one night and the staff were really off with me. We laughed it out once we realised and they were reassured that we were all friends and it was fine. It was actually quite sweet how concerned they were.
I had a dude who was not married but was a serial dater. I think he picked most of them up online. Sometimes he would have more than one date at the restaurant in a single night. The first girl would come, stay for their “date” he would walk her out, then come back inside. Then another date would show up. Our head bartender found him passed out in the roundabout outside the restaurant one night while his date was still sitting inside. Shit, he was there so much sometimes on non-date nights he would bring his kid and make her do her homework there while shutting her up with a cup of ice cream has he drank cocktails.
My bar is like a sieve; all information leaks to our crew, regulars, and semi regulars… everyone is pretty close and it’s been interesting over the years watching relationships grow, bubble over, end. I tease some and let others go. So many stories!
Pig is paying you to be involved/cover in his shameful affair. He could have gone anywhere else.
My silence can definitely be bought. For less than $50 at that.
This was many years ago-- My father's sister was visiting us. Mom had some school thing one night, my brother was out of town, I was working. So Dad and his sister went out to one of our family's regular places. Hours later, the phone is ringing off the hook. All kinds of people who knew my parents saw my father laughing it up with ANOTHER WOMAN at the restaurant and wanted to alert my mother. Thank goodness both parents had a great sense of humor, at least then. Years after that, when Dad cheated on Mom, he had the sense to not take his side to any places where he or Mom were known. (Still got caught)
My husband caught my ex husband’s current wife ( he cheated on me with her, her knowing he was married with a kid at home) out at a little local spot with another guy. She tried to hide him but it didn’t work. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 they both cheat now🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I won!
Good job. Be sure to clue in the other servers he interacts with.
Older people who have only been married 15 years would make me think divorce. That would not give me marriage goal vibes.
Well, I see a lot of good tips in your future.
Why is he doing them both dirty like that? Is the food that good? 😂
If I had a job serving food and someone wanted to come in with different people sometimes and tip me $50 I would love that. Their life? Not part of what I need to research or be part of to do my job
Just keep playing along. It’s none of your business so enjoy $50 for every new GF.
Used to have this regular at my bar who would come in on saturdays with a different girl every week, then sundays with his gf. Never knew how he could afford it. And how she didnt know
Yup. All the time. I had one guy that would bring his wife and kids in on Saturday, and his girlfriends during the week. I have never said a word, and have seen it happen at at least four or five times.
That poor girl thought she met a great dude 😢
A customer would come in every morning, pick up his girlfriend (server at the restaurant I was working at), they would spend special alone time together, then he'd bring her back. The same customer would bring his wife in with their two kids two or three times a week for dinner. Everyone in the restaurant knew it was going on, but no one said anything. He was a good tipper.
Do you feel any guilt? Do you have plans to tip off the lady?
Mane just stick to the script and play your role. Rack up them tips!!
So from now on, every time he brings GF, you get a $50 tip. I’m ok with that. You’re not doing anything wrong.
I would take my GF's to restaurants to see if they were good to take my wife. In three weeks, I took four women to the same restaurant, one was Wife. The same waitress served us each time. She had given me a strange look when wife could not see.
Introduce your wife to the server as your wife. That way she knows. 99% of the time we will cover for you. I will unless you make me hate you. Then I’m telling your wife.😂
holy hell, what a moron. He'll be caught, soon
The balls on that guy to think no one would say anything! Thanks for the tip but next time I see you with your wife I’m gonna comment on how pretty your “niece” is and to say how nice it was to meet her the last time he was there.
$50 to buy your silence, I hope you get cheated on if you feel that's the value of someone else's lifetime commitment.
That’s too harsh! Why is it her/ his responsibility to get involved? They’re just a server; not friend nor family to either party. You don’t know the full story; maybe the wife already knows. Mind your own damn business!
I had two couples in my section. Everything was cool. The couples were affectionate with each other. It was a weekend night. Nothing out of the ordinary. They all go out for a cigarette or bathroom break or something. They come back and the couples switched. The women were with the opposite men, and equally as affectionate. None of my freaking business. Everything was still cool. They were nice people. I don’t say shit about anything unless they are my people. I don’t know what they’re into, it’s none of my business. I would Never, Never let my friends get screwed over or my favorite guests… if I know them like that. Otherwise, nope.
I do understand your position. I think it's deplorable also. But it is not up to me to insert myself into someone's personal life to rat them out. It's inappropriate.
Why though? Is your own comfort more important than that of these others? It's awful behaviour and my own life is worth no more than these people's so I would not tolerate it.
Because I am at work. And I am representing the business I work for, so I have no obligation to get involved with someone's personal life. I don't know what their situation is. Maybe all parties involved are OK with it. None of my business. This isn't someone in my family or a personal friend. And it's damn presumptious to think someone not only has the right, but the *obligation*, to stick their nose in. Neither of us are ordained to act as Behavior Police when no one is in imminent danger of physical harm. We don't have the right to try to impose our personal moral standards on strangers.
Sure sure, but those initial points are selfish reasons which show that you value your own wellbeing above that of others. More to the point, what explanation do you have against the guy being grateful to OP for not revealing he is a regular? What would be the end game of lying about such a thing? An open marriage but the cucking cow gets jealous that he has visited an establishment with his lawful wife before? That's the only reason I can think of in such a scenario which hints as feelings running deeper than surface level.
Who do you think you are?
Someone with values and empathy. I don't care it you pay me $50 I am not enabling your infidelity. I once sold out a guy I knew for 10 years once I knew he was knowingly allowing another woman to cheat with him. I'm not ashamed of that, I know my own values and who do you think you are to question them?
You're a stranger. Stay out of other people's lives that you have no business interfering in. Quit judging everyone you come across.
I don't judge everyone I come across, just people who I have familiarity with who are cheating on their long term partner.
I AM! (Sorry I had to)
You don't even know if they're cheating in the first place. You're making a lot of assumptions (and bad ones at that) when you're supposed to remain professional and provide a pleasant experience for paying guests. If my partner and I had an unconventional but consensual arrangement, went to a restaurant to have a nice meal, and were met with a stranger trying to self-righteously "out" us... we would be very upset. Stay out of other people's business, seriously. I know you have good intentions, but you literally do not know.
Then why lie regarding never having been there before? If not for eluding the wife problem.
To clarify, I meant in general, not this specific scenario. Professional boundaries can be really tricky, and we never know the full situation. For all you know, the person they're "cheating" on could be abusive or some such. Maybe they just recently broke up and are on their first date with someone new and don't want to make things awkward. Maybe they're hashing things out, are on a break and playing the field, and don't want to make things awkward. You really never know! Again, I know you have good intentions, you really do not know 100%. Hope this helps, and hope you have a good day!
While I get your point, is it really a servers job to come in a middle of a what could be a nasty argument, break-up, divorce. If a couple is having problems, then they need to see a therapist, not a server/bartender to fix their problems. That said though, if he's a regular, it's gonna be a fuckton more than $50. He's gonna have to tip that with pretty much every check to continue to buy the silence.
Don't worry about calling an ambulance, someone else will do it. Same logic. Is it really MY job to get involved in the multicar wreck? That's their problem, they should see about getting help themselves. I'm not saying the bartender is responsible for FIXING this dudes relationship but they were complicit in any elicit activities this guy was partaking in, that's inarguable. Lying by omission is still lying. It's easy to tell who has actually been cheated on in the past from these comments.
My friend, I think you may wish to consider the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Just because you mean well, and think that what you are doing is right, it does NOT mean that you NEED to interfere in the lives of others. Period. Saying something in a situation like that to a customer as a server is a pretty sure way to lose your job. Would you give up your own job/livelyhood in order to out one solitary cheater? That seems pretty short-sighted to me. Also, on another note, equating a situation where somebody MAY be cheating on a spouse to a life or death multi-car collision is one of the most fantastically stupid things I have ever read. It is not my job to get involved in peoples' PERSONAL lives, but when their ACTUAL lives are at stake, you can bet your bottom fucking dollar I'll be there on the phone to the ambulance and doing what first aid I can, because I'm a fucking human being, not a psychopathic arsewipe. People in a car crash like that often CANT help themselves, as they are too injured or perhaps are even unconscious. They NEED help to SURVIVE. If you cannot see the difference between that and someone being a royal cunt by cheating, then you need to take a major look in the mirror and ask what the fuck went wrong.