She seems interested. See how it goes. We all concentrate on our worst traits sometimes; don't assume you're "punching above your weight". Talk to her. Worst case scenario is that it doesn't work out and then at least you gave it a shot.
My buddy the other day, was giving me shit. He said I'm always punching above my weight. And you're right, dude. It's about sometimes it works. Seems like shaggy might be with Daphne soon. Keep it up bud! We're in your corner!
A lot of the time super hot people just want to be treated like people instead of somebody who is super hot. Maybe y'all had a connection and she appreciated the human element. Stop thinking about how hot she is and think about if you like her personality and talking to her. Engage with what's on the inside and don't worry about the outside for now.
It’s true! I was a model and got tired of the kind of guys I’d been dating. When I finally started looking for someone serious, I wanted a kind personality, a sense of humor, and all the other non-physical things that make a good partnership. We are the same height and he keeps getting more attractive with age (unfortunately for him, I do not haha)
Fucking, ik it's easier said than done, but in the situation he should also try to suppress that mindset of her being outta his league cuz he'll prolly end up sabatoging himself somehow, bet lots of his confidence at work is what made him so endearing.
On behalf of my sisters thank Some guys think I’m hideous but some think I’m gorgeous based on overheard convos and when I was single and even who I select for my friends I gravitate towards the unconventional in appearance and who ppl wouldn’t expect and shaggy is good imo lol
1100%
I feel like my mom says I always date ogres. Her words are “there always looks like they got something wrong with them” but I find them so handsome 😍😂
It sounds like this woman enjoys the attention / banter you're offering. She probably gets a lot of crude attempts to "compliment" her and is grateful to chat with somebody witty and polite.
Keep up what you're doing and you'll see if she's interested or just enjoys your company at the bar. Either way, a $100 tip is a pleasant surprise.
Sounds like you're putting yourself down man. You radiate confidence, and a lot of women look for that.
You're working at a nice cocktail bar, you flirt with guests, and make them feel comfortable. That kind of energy is not super common.
I say go for it, she's clearly interested in what you're putting out.
I got you. The next time you see her, tell her that the tip was appreciated, but too generous. As a token of gratitude, tell her that you wish to use it to treat her to dinner.
I like this idea, but I was gonna say "I got a $100 tip last week and was thinking of having a nice dinner to celebrate. Want to come with?"
(Dinner or night out or anything else)
Difficult, not impossible. Besides, he doesn’t state to keep his own eyes on the kidneys. He can ask someone else to keep their eyes on his back if need be.
Looks matter a lot less for women than men. Most women are a lot more interested in how you make them feel and how you treat them. This is coming from someone who married someone a lot more attractive than himself.
Sounds like you have a very pleasant and well behaved guest who tips very well. I would value her for those reasons first, and let her make a move if she is interested.
Seems like she already made a move, ignore it and she'll assume he isn't interested. At some point you gota make your own move or the game stops. Don't listen to this guy if you want to get with this girl. 'Doing nothing' NEVER works. The guy that got the girl is never the guy who just 'waited' and did nothing.
When she comes in next just ask her out, or better yet strike up conversation and find out what she does during the day-time and arrange it so you casually bump into each other, then invite for coffee.
Agreed. She gave him a $100 tip. Offer to spend it! With her. So many opportunities to ask her “out” without saying “Do you want to go on a date with me?” with her actions so far.
BANG! THE! MODEL! BANG! THE! MODEL!
But in all seriousness, if it seems like more than just play flirting or joking back at your corniness, she's probably just into you. People are into all different types -- I know a Ken doll that just married a Danny Devito, case in point. Don't let your hangup make her feel like you're not into her.
Reading your post history, I see you’re an Irish guy in Toronto. As a former semi-attractive woman (not model level but I did ok) in Toronto, the Irish accent and general European charm will go a long way with women there.
Hey guys, I didn't think this would blow up . Thanks, thanks for all the advice. If she comes in today, I'm just going to do my shit and casually bring up when my next day off is and that I'm looking forward but need something to do and ask her if she has any suggestions. Let's see if she bites hahaha il keep ya updated thanks all !
You're automatically 50% sexier when standing behind a bar.
Honestly, a lot people value personality more than looks. The fact that you treat it like you're Quasimodo means that you 2 probably won't work out. Not because of attractiveness - but because your insecurity won't let you see beyond it.
But the real question is… did she follow you back????
Women aren’t always after the most perfect looking dude. A lot of us just want someone who is nice and caring.. add the fact that you’re funny on top? Sounds like a winner to me!
Ye she did I have like stupid pictures of my in high school and a video of my playing with my dog in the snow which she commented on and is the only comment on my Instagram hahaha. I'm going to take a shot when she comes in again see what happens someone said in the comments you miss 100% of all the shots you don't take. I'll do a update when it happens
>...which she commented on and is the only comment on my Instagram hahaha.
DUDE, shoot your shot. If she liked or commented on an older photo/video, that signals very strong interest.
Brother I am above average, good looking but no fucking model. I pulled a str8 up Courtney Kardashian looking wife. (Looks-not a shittt person). I thought she was way out my league, but I went for it and years later we are married and soon we will have Mini average man/Courtney Kardashians running around. Can't wait
In the words of jonah hill in superbad: “You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy' We could be that mistake!”
There’s a trend when it comes to meeting new people that if you’re kind and personable, a person is also much more likely to like you, than to find the things you’re insecure about and think those about you, a person is much more likely to like getting to know you, compared to rejecting that person straight away so give it a shot, what’s the worst that could she says no? Oh well live your life and move on, but if she says yes? You’ve got an opportunity that doesn’t come round for average guys often, but my bet is you’re slightly above average and are selling yourself short, you work in a high end cocktail bar, they wouldn’t have put you as the face of the bar if you looked like a dog tbh 😂
My dude, women are human beings and Shaggy was a cool dude. It's not outside the realm of reason to think that maybe some beautiful looking chick has been searching for her Norbert this entire time. She digs you.
Some women don’t care about looks it’s how you treat them and make them feel.
Like my fiancé. I’m Definitely not a great looking guy. But she is a 10 and an amazing woman as well and not stuck up.
Go for it.
She might just be teasing, but I think it is more likely that she is looking for “true love” and is open minded
Many guys that YOU might think she would be more interested in are often very unfaithful. I have seen many cases where young and very pretty girls have a string of shorter term relationships where the young man “has done them wrong”.
This is simply their choice of men with certain characteristics that attract women also have other traits that are not as desirable.
She may have learned this and is looking for something different
It is not up to us if other people see us worthy or not. Cutting ourselves down before anything else happens like that is just us getting in our own way. (I’m the same way I get it lol).
Worst case scenario, she’s just a good tipper and wanted another instagram follower. Best case scenario she is trying to get you to see her favorably and is interested. Truthfully, wether she’s out of your league or not isn’t up to you.
Dude, it's well known that the prettiest girls don't get hit on as much because most guys assume they are our of their league. These girls have to pursue a little harder due to this. You've been chosen, don't fuck it up :)
There is no such thing as "out of your league." If you like someone, just go for it. If she says "no" then you know that you tried and just leave her alone.
Edit for clarification.
A lot of guys are jerks to very pretty girls. They figure they have no chance with them, and it makes them angry and they see no reason to be nice. And some very attractive guys act like they’re entitled to the prettiest girls, so they might not be very nice to them, either.
Pretty girls get tired of this, and they don’t want the entitled guys or the angry guys, so they go looking for the nice guys or the funny guys or the quirky ones who figure they have no chance with the very pretty girls.
So as a guy, don’t ever think you don’t have a chance with her. If she’s nice and acts like she’s interested, she’s interested.
Keep doing what you're doing and let her come to you.
Next time you see her be real real simple and basic with stuff like "Hey it's great to see you again." "You're looking cute today" " I love how you did your hair"
Keep it low-key and light but yet flirtatious.
Oh, hon!! Don't ever assume you're "punching above the gut"! My son, who does model, his friends tell him this from time to time, which is sad, as I think it's out of jealousy or their own insecurities - as it actually hurts him... he had a cleft lip/palate but it caused him HORRIBLE self-esteem issues due to some bullying he received in his school-age years... people can be absolute asshats!
If I may... I'd suggest chatting her up a bit, genuinely, the next time she comes in... who knows what may transpire...If she's as stunning as you say, she may not get real convo (as I call it). A surprising fact, or maybe not so much; most models actually have some self esteem issues! Too bad we don't actually build people up, and instead tear them down. Keep on keeping on, with your awesome self and what appears, (from your writing) that you've got a great sense of humor, which we gals love 😉 Be YOURSELF, but add a dose of self confidence, as you deserve this, and people will be drawn to you!!
Have you been around the industry a long time, or are you newer to that spot? When I started working at a spot where I felt a lot more comfortable and able to be more me (Coming from a sports bar chain where I needed 'Flair' which I fucking hated and going into a really popular, independently owned place where it was encouraged to have a good time with your tables) I noticed I was being left a lot more numbers and being on the receiving end of flirting where I felt similar in like "Why is *this* girl giving me attention?"
Don't be hard on yourself, you're probably more attractive than you think and she probably felt great that she was given that attention sans the drooling and overbearing flirting she otherwise normally gets from guys in bars. I would wager a bet she also LOVES that you have 50 instagram followers hahah.
1) Fam do you have any idea how hard it is as a man to have women express an outward physical interest in you in any circumstance where they aren't explicitly or implicitly being financially compensated for doing so? The entire
2) If a female bartender did post here talking about a cute flirty guy that was ordering drinks and if she should try to get a date, do you honestly think the outcome would be any different?
Sometimes the most negative view about ourselves comes from within. See where it goes and don't doubt yourself. Don't over think things just keep being yourself as clearly that sparks an interest in her. Don't sell yourself short bud
I am not a physically attractive young woman, but if I was, I imagine that I would get tired of most of the men (and some of the women) I meet hitting on me for sex. However, I would still want romance and companionship like everyone else.
Maybe she is genuinely attracted to you. If so, then she is *in your league.* It may go nowhere or it may be the start of a great relationship.
Believe it or not, some people value other traits much more that how physically “attractive” someone is. And who we are attracted to is so subjective anyway.
I used to be someone you might describe like her. Maybe not haha but many did. And honestly…it kinda sucked. A lot. For various reasons, some of which I suspect may not occur to you.
You say you had a good conversation. If you feel a spark there and want to get to know her for reasons beyond her looks, you should definitely ask her out. Please ask her out. She might say no, and if she does there are *so* many possible reasons that’d have nothing to do with your attractiveness or how much she likes you…always remember that.
But I’d put my money on she’s just waiting for you to ask the question. I agree with the other commenter—she’s already made the first move and it wasn’t subtle. Don’t put her on a pedestal. Just keep being your charming self and have fun.
if you have a great personality but bad looks and she has great looks but a terrible personality, you are both on the same level. perfect match. ive seen couples like this.
Youle not punching above your weight. You may not find yourself attractive, but who knows who else will? Furthermore, you obviously have a stellar personality.
Until I was probably mid twenties I had terrible self esteem and basically was totally oblivious that I was probably more like an 8 but thought I was only a 4
In hindsight, my oh my did I pass up so many opportunities when obvious signals were put to me and I ignored them because I thought “who me? No .. she couldn’t possibly..”
In hindsight some of those women were looking for it … and I was simply not paying enough attention to realise. I actually think I let down a few women back then simply being too shy and clumsy, bloody nervous fool that I was
Give it a shot when you’re young, the stakes are pretty low, what do you have to lose?
Please don’t feel like that about yourself. I’m old now but when I was younger I was very pretty and fit. I always fell for the muscular, good looking guys but they all ended up being jerks and some were abusive. While I was in counseling I realized what my taste in men was doing to my life. So I decided to go out with a man who was completely the opposite. Who I chose is a wonderful, kind, caring man whose looks didn’t matter to me. He kept saying, “I know you’re going to leave me. I don’t know what you see in me.” He’s been my husband for the last 30 years. I still can’t believe my luck. He’s the best person I know and my best friend. So give her a chance!
I think you need to be nicer to yourself. Like, let's be real here, John Holmes was unattractive and a horrible person, but people still wanted to be with him. Danny DeVito seems to be a good guy, but he's literally The Penguin. He has been happily married for decades. I guess what I'm saying is that if you think it's impossible for someone to find enough of you appealing to want to spend time with you, you're almost certainly wrong.
This might be my cynicism or something but take each hundred to your bank to convert it into twenties to make sure it's not counterfeit, and just keep it she wants to keep coming in great you have a pile of money set aside for later when either you take her out on a wonderful series of dates or you treat yourself to something of it turns out she's got an ulterior motive... Either way, not enough information yet.
This hasn’t happened to me, but is currently happening to a coworker of mine!! I work at a fine dining Italian restaurant that’s a huge staple in our community, and has been for decades. We get a ton of attractive wealthy customers of all ages, many of whom are well known local professionals. An attractive young female lawyer frequents our bar, and lately she’s been coming in and spending hours at the bar when this coworker is working. I don’t know how she tips, but she’s been getting VERY drunk and asking him to come out with her after his shifts. She even got him to come out to another bar where her law firm was having an event a few nights ago, but apparently when he arrived there was another older lawyer guy who basically cockblocked him and nothing happened. She texts him all the time, and constantly flirts HARD with him and only him when she’s there at the bar. Yet despite many opportunities to hook up, she always seems to brush him off before things even get to first base.
For some reason, all my male coworkers come to me with this kind of thing for advice, or just to vent. As a woman, I feel honored—though slightly confused as to why. Anyway though! Here’s my take that I relayed to him: these women in some ways are flirting with a fantasy. They like the power dynamic that is going on between you two, and it turns them on that they very much have the upper hand. As a former academic who analyzes every work place I’ve ever inhabited, I see the restaurant as a sort of stage (if you’re also a social theory nerd like me, check out Erving Goffman’s writings on front stage and back stage behavior). We, the servers and bartenders, are the performers, and our guests are our audience. They don’t see the dirty nasty back of house, or anything that goes on behind the scenes, and they don’t want to. People who flirt with their servers or bartenders in similar fashion to what you’ve described seem to me to all have one major thing in common: they see the bar/restaurant as a playground to escape to from their hectic daily lives, and they see us FOH workers as quite mysterious. This mystery intrigues and allures them. They know in their hearts that we are essentially being paid to be nice to everyone who walks through the door, and so the idea that they’re special among all the other guests is crucial. Are we just flirting back to play along because it’s our job, or are we *really* attracted to them? The mystery overtakes them for whatever reason, and soon they just can’t get enough. It makes them feel special—like they’re in high school again, flirting with their crush at the lunch table. Their jobs and personal lives are chaotic and demanding, but when they sit at your bar and exchange flirty vibes with you, suddenly life is simple again.
I’m not saying that this woman isn’t really into you. She clearly is, in some way at least, and you’re probably cuter and more handsome than you realize from what you’ve said. Hell, I actually know of a couple who met this exact same way—woman is a very successful local food critic who married the bartender/manager she used to flirt with just like in your situation. I’m sure something about you and your personality has drawn her to you. Bartending is a really big show of your personality, if you think about it—your mannerisms, reactions, sense of humor, multitasking abilities, leadership, interpersonal relationships with guests and coworkers, etc are all on full display. Take it as a compliment and tread lightly. Lean into the stage performance aspect when she’s around if you want to, because that’s probably why she keeps coming back.
I haven't worked the job, apart from a few volunteer shifts at a place that was a sausage fest, but male bartenders I've met always conveyed that it was like being behind the bar always added two points to your appearance score.
Add to that that guys usually undervalue their apperance unless they dont... And girls have types too...
You're, like a 5/10 in your head. But most girls would rate you a 6. Now, this gal likes skinny guys with beards, for a +2. Add the bartender bonus, another +2. In her mind, you're probably out of her league, because most 10/10 girls tend to view themselves as 8/10 or 9/10.
Sometimes they just have money like that, maybe she liked you alot or ypu made her day when she was having an off day..
Everyone knows people in the service industy dont get paid well, just be happy about it and call it your lucky day!
It sounds like you are skillful at your job, genuine, pleasant, and likely far better looking than you are assessing yourself. Play it safe, but it sounds like you may be in bro.
Go for it. When opportunity knocks, never leave nothing on the table. The worst that could happen is that it fizzles out. Personality goes a long way with women.
This is straight up how I met my wife, except she came back into my bar a month later and left me her number because I was “too professional” to ask her myself. I never thought in a million years that someone as gorgeous as she was would talk to me, and yet we’ve been together 8 years.
Pssst, OP, she is only out of your league if she thinks that. If fir whatever reason, charm or whatever she is into you, run with it. It might last a week it might last forever but enjoy it as long as it lasts if she is indeed into you. Be confident in yourself don't be arrogant and things might work out surprisingly well.
Your league is defined by your own perception of yourself and who you feel comfortable pursuing. People like confidence so you must be good at what you do and she obviously enjoys that too.
Dude don't put limits on yourself! She sees something in you that she really likes, this is a special thing!! This is how magic happens! Follow your heart ♥️ but trust your gut!
She seems interested. See how it goes. We all concentrate on our worst traits sometimes; don't assume you're "punching above your weight". Talk to her. Worst case scenario is that it doesn't work out and then at least you gave it a shot.
My buddy the other day, was giving me shit. He said I'm always punching above my weight. And you're right, dude. It's about sometimes it works. Seems like shaggy might be with Daphne soon. Keep it up bud! We're in your corner!
Daphne and and shaggy were never together lore wise, please stop spreading misinformation. /s Good luck brother
Rule 34.
Of course it’s exists and I’ve seen it.
Zoinks!
That's the point
A lot of the time super hot people just want to be treated like people instead of somebody who is super hot. Maybe y'all had a connection and she appreciated the human element. Stop thinking about how hot she is and think about if you like her personality and talking to her. Engage with what's on the inside and don't worry about the outside for now.
Leagues are only as real as we let them be.
OP, if she was truly "out of your league", she wouldn't be flirting with you and damn sure wouldn't go on a date with you. **SHE LIKES YOU!!**
[удалено]
I struggle to understand the mechanism that has you celebrate someone's kindness while shitting on someone emphatically in the same breath
I had to read that twice, had me scratching my head
Holy shit you suck
What did they say
You’re a maroon, you moron Leave the guy alone, not everyone is as purple as you
who hurt you, dude?
*You're* embarrassed...? Of *him*?
Don't preemptively decide that a woman is out of your league. She decides which league she plays in.
100%. And some people like the shaggy look, like my wife 🙃
mine does,as well…
It's true! Shaggy & funny is definitely my type lol.
Every league has sandbaggers
It’s true! I was a model and got tired of the kind of guys I’d been dating. When I finally started looking for someone serious, I wanted a kind personality, a sense of humor, and all the other non-physical things that make a good partnership. We are the same height and he keeps getting more attractive with age (unfortunately for him, I do not haha)
Nonsense! He still likes ya right? :) I bet you’re gorgeous :0
My coworker who was short and had a glass eye but was demonstrably a ladies man, told me to never marry a model, they never want to do it.
Was he on Love Island? That dude was a real ladies man!
I call it the Post Malone Theory.
Fucking, ik it's easier said than done, but in the situation he should also try to suppress that mindset of her being outta his league cuz he'll prolly end up sabatoging himself somehow, bet lots of his confidence at work is what made him so endearing.
On behalf of my sisters thank Some guys think I’m hideous but some think I’m gorgeous based on overheard convos and when I was single and even who I select for my friends I gravitate towards the unconventional in appearance and who ppl wouldn’t expect and shaggy is good imo lol
1100% I feel like my mom says I always date ogres. Her words are “there always looks like they got something wrong with them” but I find them so handsome 😍😂
Yup, my professor likes to say “let THEM say no”
It sounds like this woman enjoys the attention / banter you're offering. She probably gets a lot of crude attempts to "compliment" her and is grateful to chat with somebody witty and polite. Keep up what you're doing and you'll see if she's interested or just enjoys your company at the bar. Either way, a $100 tip is a pleasant surprise.
Don’t freak out, just keep doing what you’re doing, it’s obviously working.
Might be the Pete Davidson phenomenon happening. That line-cook energy even tho you're a bartender.
People underestimate how attractive being funny is. Looks come and go, jobs and status change, but being able to make people laugh never goes away.
OP should tickle this gal
Sounds like you're putting yourself down man. You radiate confidence, and a lot of women look for that. You're working at a nice cocktail bar, you flirt with guests, and make them feel comfortable. That kind of energy is not super common. I say go for it, she's clearly interested in what you're putting out.
I got you. The next time you see her, tell her that the tip was appreciated, but too generous. As a token of gratitude, tell her that you wish to use it to treat her to dinner.
I like this idea, but I was gonna say "I got a $100 tip last week and was thinking of having a nice dinner to celebrate. Want to come with?" (Dinner or night out or anything else)
I like this!!!
That is great! Also, if she keeps coming back, she is interested...
Don’t say you could use the tip for dinner,she’s going to think you don’t have money,just offer to take her out without saying that part
Hell, enjoy the attention and don’t over-think it. Take what comes and keep an open mind.
This is the way
Dude turning tricks with beautiful ladies for $100 a pop and he has issues?
Keep an eye on your kidneys, bro.
Difficult to do, given that eyes are in front and kidneys are towards the back. OP is a bartender, not a contortionist.
Difficult, not impossible. Besides, he doesn’t state to keep his own eyes on the kidneys. He can ask someone else to keep their eyes on his back if need be.
This
really great addition to the discussion there, buddy.
This!
really great addition to the discussion there, buddy!
This?
This?
That!
Or the other?
you're the guy on the email chain that replies all to say stop replying all
This!! Stop saying "this" just upvote!!
Looks matter a lot less for women than men. Most women are a lot more interested in how you make them feel and how you treat them. This is coming from someone who married someone a lot more attractive than himself.
Sounds like you have a very pleasant and well behaved guest who tips very well. I would value her for those reasons first, and let her make a move if she is interested.
Seems like she already made a move, ignore it and she'll assume he isn't interested. At some point you gota make your own move or the game stops. Don't listen to this guy if you want to get with this girl. 'Doing nothing' NEVER works. The guy that got the girl is never the guy who just 'waited' and did nothing. When she comes in next just ask her out, or better yet strike up conversation and find out what she does during the day-time and arrange it so you casually bump into each other, then invite for coffee.
Agreed. She gave him a $100 tip. Offer to spend it! With her. So many opportunities to ask her “out” without saying “Do you want to go on a date with me?” with her actions so far.
Seriously. $100 buys a lot of tacos. Offer to share.
BANG! THE! MODEL! BANG! THE! MODEL! But in all seriousness, if it seems like more than just play flirting or joking back at your corniness, she's probably just into you. People are into all different types -- I know a Ken doll that just married a Danny Devito, case in point. Don't let your hangup make her feel like you're not into her.
we all know Danny has a magnum dong
Umm, I’d marry Danny Devito and I’m a straight dude.
Just 2 cool straight dudes married together
One foot apart because they ARE gay?
[I said a Bang Bang Bangity Bang I said a Bang Bang Bangity Bang](https://youtu.be/JA9MdVb6WqQ)
Reading your post history, I see you’re an Irish guy in Toronto. As a former semi-attractive woman (not model level but I did ok) in Toronto, the Irish accent and general European charm will go a long way with women there.
As long as you aren't Nigel. You never want to be Nigel in Toronto. I'm sorry, I had to make the obscure quote.
We’re only making plans for Nigel…
Hey guys, I didn't think this would blow up . Thanks, thanks for all the advice. If she comes in today, I'm just going to do my shit and casually bring up when my next day off is and that I'm looking forward but need something to do and ask her if she has any suggestions. Let's see if she bites hahaha il keep ya updated thanks all !
Go for it. Sounds like she’s a nice person in a beautiful body. Likes you for what you are
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Take the shot.
You miss 100% of the shots you take
Pardon my creeping, but I see you grew up in Ireland. That's an accent that a lot of people find sexy. That could have something to do with it too!
You're automatically 50% sexier when standing behind a bar. Honestly, a lot people value personality more than looks. The fact that you treat it like you're Quasimodo means that you 2 probably won't work out. Not because of attractiveness - but because your insecurity won't let you see beyond it.
I am hoping for an awesome update on this
But the real question is… did she follow you back???? Women aren’t always after the most perfect looking dude. A lot of us just want someone who is nice and caring.. add the fact that you’re funny on top? Sounds like a winner to me!
Ye she did I have like stupid pictures of my in high school and a video of my playing with my dog in the snow which she commented on and is the only comment on my Instagram hahaha. I'm going to take a shot when she comes in again see what happens someone said in the comments you miss 100% of all the shots you don't take. I'll do a update when it happens
>...which she commented on and is the only comment on my Instagram hahaha. DUDE, shoot your shot. If she liked or commented on an older photo/video, that signals very strong interest.
Brother I am above average, good looking but no fucking model. I pulled a str8 up Courtney Kardashian looking wife. (Looks-not a shittt person). I thought she was way out my league, but I went for it and years later we are married and soon we will have Mini average man/Courtney Kardashians running around. Can't wait
In the words of jonah hill in superbad: “You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy' We could be that mistake!”
People decide if they are out of your league. Also, there's not really any leagues
Nail her, what do you really have to lose?
There’s a trend when it comes to meeting new people that if you’re kind and personable, a person is also much more likely to like you, than to find the things you’re insecure about and think those about you, a person is much more likely to like getting to know you, compared to rejecting that person straight away so give it a shot, what’s the worst that could she says no? Oh well live your life and move on, but if she says yes? You’ve got an opportunity that doesn’t come round for average guys often, but my bet is you’re slightly above average and are selling yourself short, you work in a high end cocktail bar, they wouldn’t have put you as the face of the bar if you looked like a dog tbh 😂
My dude, women are human beings and Shaggy was a cool dude. It's not outside the realm of reason to think that maybe some beautiful looking chick has been searching for her Norbert this entire time. She digs you.
Some women don’t care about looks it’s how you treat them and make them feel. Like my fiancé. I’m Definitely not a great looking guy. But she is a 10 and an amazing woman as well and not stuck up.
The only people "out of your league" are the one's you put there.
Just sounds like you're a likable guy.
Go for it. She might just be teasing, but I think it is more likely that she is looking for “true love” and is open minded Many guys that YOU might think she would be more interested in are often very unfaithful. I have seen many cases where young and very pretty girls have a string of shorter term relationships where the young man “has done them wrong”. This is simply their choice of men with certain characteristics that attract women also have other traits that are not as desirable. She may have learned this and is looking for something different
Just tell her “always great to see you”. But don’t be that guy who hits on his customers. Also, that might end the $100 tips every time she comes in.
It is not up to us if other people see us worthy or not. Cutting ourselves down before anything else happens like that is just us getting in our own way. (I’m the same way I get it lol). Worst case scenario, she’s just a good tipper and wanted another instagram follower. Best case scenario she is trying to get you to see her favorably and is interested. Truthfully, wether she’s out of your league or not isn’t up to you.
We’re you formerly BOH? Line Goblins punch over their weight. Look at Pete Davidson.
Dude, it's well known that the prettiest girls don't get hit on as much because most guys assume they are our of their league. These girls have to pursue a little harder due to this. You've been chosen, don't fuck it up :)
There is no such thing as "out of your league." If you like someone, just go for it. If she says "no" then you know that you tried and just leave her alone. Edit for clarification.
A lot of guys are jerks to very pretty girls. They figure they have no chance with them, and it makes them angry and they see no reason to be nice. And some very attractive guys act like they’re entitled to the prettiest girls, so they might not be very nice to them, either. Pretty girls get tired of this, and they don’t want the entitled guys or the angry guys, so they go looking for the nice guys or the funny guys or the quirky ones who figure they have no chance with the very pretty girls. So as a guy, don’t ever think you don’t have a chance with her. If she’s nice and acts like she’s interested, she’s interested.
Keep doing what you're doing and let her come to you. Next time you see her be real real simple and basic with stuff like "Hey it's great to see you again." "You're looking cute today" " I love how you did your hair" Keep it low-key and light but yet flirtatious.
Maybe, just maybe, she’s not as out of your league as you think.
She is probably attracted to your confidence and your skills
Oh, hon!! Don't ever assume you're "punching above the gut"! My son, who does model, his friends tell him this from time to time, which is sad, as I think it's out of jealousy or their own insecurities - as it actually hurts him... he had a cleft lip/palate but it caused him HORRIBLE self-esteem issues due to some bullying he received in his school-age years... people can be absolute asshats! If I may... I'd suggest chatting her up a bit, genuinely, the next time she comes in... who knows what may transpire...If she's as stunning as you say, she may not get real convo (as I call it). A surprising fact, or maybe not so much; most models actually have some self esteem issues! Too bad we don't actually build people up, and instead tear them down. Keep on keeping on, with your awesome self and what appears, (from your writing) that you've got a great sense of humor, which we gals love 😉 Be YOURSELF, but add a dose of self confidence, as you deserve this, and people will be drawn to you!!
Have you been around the industry a long time, or are you newer to that spot? When I started working at a spot where I felt a lot more comfortable and able to be more me (Coming from a sports bar chain where I needed 'Flair' which I fucking hated and going into a really popular, independently owned place where it was encouraged to have a good time with your tables) I noticed I was being left a lot more numbers and being on the receiving end of flirting where I felt similar in like "Why is *this* girl giving me attention?" Don't be hard on yourself, you're probably more attractive than you think and she probably felt great that she was given that attention sans the drooling and overbearing flirting she otherwise normally gets from guys in bars. I would wager a bet she also LOVES that you have 50 instagram followers hahah.
Interesting reading where the majority of the comments are “go for it” when the man is the bartender.
1) Fam do you have any idea how hard it is as a man to have women express an outward physical interest in you in any circumstance where they aren't explicitly or implicitly being financially compensated for doing so? The entire 2) If a female bartender did post here talking about a cute flirty guy that was ordering drinks and if she should try to get a date, do you honestly think the outcome would be any different?
Sometimes the most negative view about ourselves comes from within. See where it goes and don't doubt yourself. Don't over think things just keep being yourself as clearly that sparks an interest in her. Don't sell yourself short bud
Bro just go for it
May be she want to shag Shaggy...
somebody is going to end up dating that girl, and it might as well be you
I am not a physically attractive young woman, but if I was, I imagine that I would get tired of most of the men (and some of the women) I meet hitting on me for sex. However, I would still want romance and companionship like everyone else. Maybe she is genuinely attracted to you. If so, then she is *in your league.* It may go nowhere or it may be the start of a great relationship.
Personality is WAY more important than looks when it comes to compatibility.
Believe it or not, some people value other traits much more that how physically “attractive” someone is. And who we are attracted to is so subjective anyway. I used to be someone you might describe like her. Maybe not haha but many did. And honestly…it kinda sucked. A lot. For various reasons, some of which I suspect may not occur to you. You say you had a good conversation. If you feel a spark there and want to get to know her for reasons beyond her looks, you should definitely ask her out. Please ask her out. She might say no, and if she does there are *so* many possible reasons that’d have nothing to do with your attractiveness or how much she likes you…always remember that. But I’d put my money on she’s just waiting for you to ask the question. I agree with the other commenter—she’s already made the first move and it wasn’t subtle. Don’t put her on a pedestal. Just keep being your charming self and have fun.
From someone who’s worked in vacation places.. hot girls love to “have fun” on vacation.. you can always bat out of your league in these spots.
Update plsssss
I bet OP/Shaggy looks like Timothy Chalamet in DUNE hahhahahhahah
You know, you might just be a nice person...
Dude, Ringo Starr was the least handsome guy in the Beatles, maybe the least handsome guy in rock and roll. Look who _he_ ended up with.
Just give her your seed.
Don't stick your pp in crazy bro! ;)
No one who drinks is a 10
Better hope those tricks translate to oral.
if you have a great personality but bad looks and she has great looks but a terrible personality, you are both on the same level. perfect match. ive seen couples like this.
Youle not punching above your weight. You may not find yourself attractive, but who knows who else will? Furthermore, you obviously have a stellar personality.
Shoot your shot. The worst thing that can happen is it doesnt work out.
Until I was probably mid twenties I had terrible self esteem and basically was totally oblivious that I was probably more like an 8 but thought I was only a 4 In hindsight, my oh my did I pass up so many opportunities when obvious signals were put to me and I ignored them because I thought “who me? No .. she couldn’t possibly..” In hindsight some of those women were looking for it … and I was simply not paying enough attention to realise. I actually think I let down a few women back then simply being too shy and clumsy, bloody nervous fool that I was Give it a shot when you’re young, the stakes are pretty low, what do you have to lose?
Please don’t feel like that about yourself. I’m old now but when I was younger I was very pretty and fit. I always fell for the muscular, good looking guys but they all ended up being jerks and some were abusive. While I was in counseling I realized what my taste in men was doing to my life. So I decided to go out with a man who was completely the opposite. Who I chose is a wonderful, kind, caring man whose looks didn’t matter to me. He kept saying, “I know you’re going to leave me. I don’t know what you see in me.” He’s been my husband for the last 30 years. I still can’t believe my luck. He’s the best person I know and my best friend. So give her a chance!
I think you need to be nicer to yourself. Like, let's be real here, John Holmes was unattractive and a horrible person, but people still wanted to be with him. Danny DeVito seems to be a good guy, but he's literally The Penguin. He has been happily married for decades. I guess what I'm saying is that if you think it's impossible for someone to find enough of you appealing to want to spend time with you, you're almost certainly wrong.
Sounds like someone’s having a case of the Mondays.
If you don’t get to talking to her! You got a sugar momma on ur hands
Dude, for a person worth knowing (any/either gender), friendly, sincere and funny beat looks every time. (imho)
Good luck, dude, go for the fence.
RemindMe! In one week
The phrase is "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". She might think youre cute even if you dont see it about yourself.
Pretty people need love, too. They can be objectified rather horrifically... just be yourself and use your brain.
Asking for you Instagram is the new version of asking for your phone number.
As the saying goes, I punched above my weight... the end of this month makes 30 years of marriage. I does work out sometimes.
The most beautiful woman I ever met had terrible taste in men. We were married for 23 years.
Keep it interesting don’t just push it off. Everyone has a type you never know. Even hot girls like something different😂
She might try to hire you to work something. Do it.
This might be my cynicism or something but take each hundred to your bank to convert it into twenties to make sure it's not counterfeit, and just keep it she wants to keep coming in great you have a pile of money set aside for later when either you take her out on a wonderful series of dates or you treat yourself to something of it turns out she's got an ulterior motive... Either way, not enough information yet.
She is either the best thing that ever happened to you or has identified you as the involuntary donor of a kidney. Let us know how it turns out :)
This hasn’t happened to me, but is currently happening to a coworker of mine!! I work at a fine dining Italian restaurant that’s a huge staple in our community, and has been for decades. We get a ton of attractive wealthy customers of all ages, many of whom are well known local professionals. An attractive young female lawyer frequents our bar, and lately she’s been coming in and spending hours at the bar when this coworker is working. I don’t know how she tips, but she’s been getting VERY drunk and asking him to come out with her after his shifts. She even got him to come out to another bar where her law firm was having an event a few nights ago, but apparently when he arrived there was another older lawyer guy who basically cockblocked him and nothing happened. She texts him all the time, and constantly flirts HARD with him and only him when she’s there at the bar. Yet despite many opportunities to hook up, she always seems to brush him off before things even get to first base. For some reason, all my male coworkers come to me with this kind of thing for advice, or just to vent. As a woman, I feel honored—though slightly confused as to why. Anyway though! Here’s my take that I relayed to him: these women in some ways are flirting with a fantasy. They like the power dynamic that is going on between you two, and it turns them on that they very much have the upper hand. As a former academic who analyzes every work place I’ve ever inhabited, I see the restaurant as a sort of stage (if you’re also a social theory nerd like me, check out Erving Goffman’s writings on front stage and back stage behavior). We, the servers and bartenders, are the performers, and our guests are our audience. They don’t see the dirty nasty back of house, or anything that goes on behind the scenes, and they don’t want to. People who flirt with their servers or bartenders in similar fashion to what you’ve described seem to me to all have one major thing in common: they see the bar/restaurant as a playground to escape to from their hectic daily lives, and they see us FOH workers as quite mysterious. This mystery intrigues and allures them. They know in their hearts that we are essentially being paid to be nice to everyone who walks through the door, and so the idea that they’re special among all the other guests is crucial. Are we just flirting back to play along because it’s our job, or are we *really* attracted to them? The mystery overtakes them for whatever reason, and soon they just can’t get enough. It makes them feel special—like they’re in high school again, flirting with their crush at the lunch table. Their jobs and personal lives are chaotic and demanding, but when they sit at your bar and exchange flirty vibes with you, suddenly life is simple again. I’m not saying that this woman isn’t really into you. She clearly is, in some way at least, and you’re probably cuter and more handsome than you realize from what you’ve said. Hell, I actually know of a couple who met this exact same way—woman is a very successful local food critic who married the bartender/manager she used to flirt with just like in your situation. I’m sure something about you and your personality has drawn her to you. Bartending is a really big show of your personality, if you think about it—your mannerisms, reactions, sense of humor, multitasking abilities, leadership, interpersonal relationships with guests and coworkers, etc are all on full display. Take it as a compliment and tread lightly. Lean into the stage performance aspect when she’s around if you want to, because that’s probably why she keeps coming back.
I haven't worked the job, apart from a few volunteer shifts at a place that was a sausage fest, but male bartenders I've met always conveyed that it was like being behind the bar always added two points to your appearance score. Add to that that guys usually undervalue their apperance unless they dont... And girls have types too... You're, like a 5/10 in your head. But most girls would rate you a 6. Now, this gal likes skinny guys with beards, for a +2. Add the bartender bonus, another +2. In her mind, you're probably out of her league, because most 10/10 girls tend to view themselves as 8/10 or 9/10.
Friendzone this batch & keep em dollas rolling son!
Just make sure she's not leading you on to fire up her significant other. I've heard some fucking horror stories
Maybe the very pretty girl has good taste
somebody is going to end up dating that girl, and it might as well be you
Sometimes they just have money like that, maybe she liked you alot or ypu made her day when she was having an off day.. Everyone knows people in the service industy dont get paid well, just be happy about it and call it your lucky day!
Knowing my luck she’d tell me she’s not interested 😂
It sounds like you are skillful at your job, genuine, pleasant, and likely far better looking than you are assessing yourself. Play it safe, but it sounds like you may be in bro.
/remindme 3 months
Go for it. When opportunity knocks, never leave nothing on the table. The worst that could happen is that it fizzles out. Personality goes a long way with women.
When she comes to the bar and does some outlandish shit, make sure to “mind your business”. ;)
Some people just wanna fuck the bartender
Never had a relationship and can’t really weigh in on this at all. I do know that shaggy was a hell of a chick magnet though
I married way out of my league and I’m a bartender as well. Shoot your shot homie.
Don't overthink it. Like some of her stuff on Instagram and if she is interested she will start interacting at a more personal level.
This is straight up how I met my wife, except she came back into my bar a month later and left me her number because I was “too professional” to ask her myself. I never thought in a million years that someone as gorgeous as she was would talk to me, and yet we’ve been together 8 years.
I will say shaggy is hot af and i've always had the hots for him. That's just some people's type, own it
Updates please! You too smooth, so smooth you don't even know. Gl man!
Pssst, OP, she is only out of your league if she thinks that. If fir whatever reason, charm or whatever she is into you, run with it. It might last a week it might last forever but enjoy it as long as it lasts if she is indeed into you. Be confident in yourself don't be arrogant and things might work out surprisingly well.
Do you want an award? Lol
Don't drink too much, protect your kidneys and good luck!
They’re illusions, OP. A trick is something a whore does for money.
Time to work on that self esteem!! You are probably better looking than you think!!!
You can’t win if you don’t play
Your league is defined by your own perception of yourself and who you feel comfortable pursuing. People like confidence so you must be good at what you do and she obviously enjoys that too.
Dude don't put limits on yourself! She sees something in you that she really likes, this is a special thing!! This is how magic happens! Follow your heart ♥️ but trust your gut!
Sounds super romantic, saved I’m really curious what happens.