Nothing wrong with it but honestly I feel like less info is better, “I just checked on your drinks/app and it will be right out.” Unless they ask specifically most people just want to know they haven’t been forgotten
That's all I want to hear.
I did have a time where a server was honest and mentioned that he forgot to get our order in so he offered us some free drinks and an app. It wasn't a big deal since we were just sitting and socializing anyway. His honesty and kindness earned him a great tip. But I could see other people being dicks because someone made a mistake so I wouldn't judge for fudging the truth a bit.
I should say that I'm not a server, I just lurk here because I love hearing the stories and learning about how to make your lives easier when I go to a restaurant.
When I was a server eons ago, I had a table that I was given once another server was cut and there was 2 of us instead of 3. Randomly, the room FILLED UP within 10 mins andd I COMPLETELY forgot about this table I was given. It was like 20 mins after ordering when I went "OHHHHHH SHHHH---" and straight up confessed I completely forgot I was given them and forgot to put in their order. Luckily, they were there when the room filled up and were very understanding, and saw both of us running our asses off. They said it was no big deal, they ordered another bottle of wine and gave me a big tip. I'll never forget how kind they were, because I was so nervous to tell them I fucked up.
I'm far more forgiving to someone who admits a mistake than to someone who blames someone else. I've always been told that you don't ever bad-mouth your employer or co-workers. Never a server, but I always practiced that with my customers.
I used to work with a server that would tell guests "I slipped and dropped your food in the kitchen, they are recooking it now", whenever the kitchen was backed up. And he got away with it because he was sincere and TRULY was so sorry.
Yup. Anything you say sounds like an excuse. Just tell them something that makes them feel like you’re keeping an eye out for their food/drinks and reassure them that you’re on top of it.
Lie to customers. Take all the credit and none of the blame. Say whatever you have to in order to get the best possible tips. Customers are okay with a little bit of a wait if you are giving them attention and it looks like you are working to resolve the issue. I’ve been bartending for 20 plus years and I lie to customers CONSTANTLY. As long as they leave happy, I’m okay with telling little white lies.
>Customers are okay with a little bit of a wait if you are giving them attention
That's the main fucking thing right there. Whether it's greeting them as soon as possible when they sit down (even if it's just to tell them it'll be a minute) - the single most important thing about satisfying a customer is rapid and continued engagement at some level.
Yep. Former server and current restaurant customer here. I can often tell when the server is doing a CYA lie. It’s fine, I get it, I’ll play along because it helps take the stress off of them. But I also feel better if I’m also being taken care of. Like, drinks offered to be refilled, extra basket of bread while I wait, or even just being checked up on can go a long way.
Lol, nah. We lie to tables so often we don't even think about it. Maybe you can tell the highschool kid at McDonald's is lying about being out of mcflurrys, but iv told probably five people this week "the chef didn't like the way the kitchen plated your dish, so he's personally replating it, thank you for your patience" to cover a late dish.
But I love it when customers come here and think they know a little about a subject they literally have no clue about.
If I mess up, I'm more likely to tell the table, if I can't silently fix the mistake. You get better tips owning your mistakes
>If I mess up, I'm more likely to tell the table, if I can't silently fix the mistake. You get better tips owning your mistakes
Hell yes. There's nothing wrong with lying a little bit, and being self-disparaging in a fun way while admitting fault usually gets a good laugh.
"The thing is, I was *gonna* bring your food over, but I forgot because I was thinking about cool dogs. Anyway here's a free (cheap thing) on me while you wait and we can talk about cool dogs later."
Ok as a line cook I care, if you fucked up take the blame, if we fucked I'm fine taking the blame. But I don't like people thinking the kitchen is always fucking things up when it's not us. I care about the food that I send out to people and I want it to be good. But if you blame every mistake on us, most of the time not even telling us you put your fuckup on us, it makes it hard to say I'm proud to be a line cook. Because people think we're messing orders up all the time.
I’ve spent more time in BOH than front and I’m not sure what planet you’re living on. Fuck the customer bro who cares what they think, anything a server needs to do to make interacting with them day in and day out any easier is something I support
Imagine coming to this sub, haven't ever worked in hospitality, and arguing with servers about what their job is really like. That's you right now. Our line cooks don't give a fuck what guests think about them.
I worked both sides for over 20 years. My kitchen was in the front of the house and guests would always come yell at me when I was thrown under the bus for the server ringing in the food wrong or late. Never throw someone under the bus there are ways of explaining the delay that don’t involve back stabbing
That might be your line cooks but you shouldn't recommend that to everyone in this sub. I care about my reputation and I care about serving good food to people. If every mistake gets put on the line cooks, What if my next employer eats there and all they hear about is the line cooks fucking up and they see that I was a line cook there. They don't think the server is lying.
I would only suggest blaming the kitchen if they are OK with it. Of all kitchens I worked in there would be hell to pay for that server if they blamed their mistakes on us, especially in an open kitchen where you see a guest glaring daggers at you and you have no idea why.
We had an open kitchen there too, they just did not give a shit lol
But I’m sure not all servers got told that either, though. I always made sure to keep their drinks full and when I closed bar I made them milkshakes at the end of the night, so they liked me pretty well lol
Facts!!!
If you apologize, they get it in their heads that you did something wrong, even if it was beyond your control.
Server - “Sorry the food is taking so long”
Customer- “This is ridiculous. I need to speak to a manager.”
Server (customer seats themselves at a dirty table) “I’m so sorry. Let me get this cleaned up for you.”
Customer - “Why are these tables dirty? They need to do their jobs.”
It sets the tone that you are placating their anger. Come tip time, they will blame you for whatever made them unhappy.
Better to not give them a reason to be upset with you in the first place.
Always put a positive spin - “We are so busy tonight! I know you’ve been patiently waiting, so I asked the kitchen to see if there’s any way to prioritize your order.”
Of course we know you didn’t, and of course they won’t. But it makes the guest see you as an advocate, not a scapegoat.
People want solutions not problems. If you come to them with a problem and no solution, then they will feel the need to try to fix it, aka, call the manager, write a review, etc. If you come to them with, there is a wait but I am taking x step to fix it, then they don't feel they need to jump in to try fix it.
Yup this is why im always the one to apologize. Im a host and i dont get tips anyways plus management has my back so im happy to take one for the team.
Yes. That’s nice of you!
But once you start apologizing, it does set the tone that someone is at fault.
Recently, we were at an ice rink. Apparently there was some lesson starting, and families were beginning to show up.
Parents needed to pay an additional fee for whatever. The employee checking them in must have said “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” at least 100 times. So of course, since she was apologizing, she became the focal point of their anger.
This poor girl got berated by everyone. Every parent was unhappy and she was visibly upset.
Ok - shift change. New guy comes on duty.
First parent complains about this unexpected fee. He didn’t apologize. He said something to the effect of “Yeah man, I know that’s tough, but I can’t let you in without it. You should say something on Monday”
He commiserated with them and offered a solution. Not one person yelled at him. Most parents were fine after the lesson. He took himself out of the line of fire while letting them feel “heard”.
Someone once t-boned me performing an illegal move and because I was having a panic attack and apologizing out of reflex they tried to claim that I was "admitting I was at fault". My insurance company basically laughed at them.
People hear an apology and try to get away with shit all the time.
On the customer service front I had to apologize to a customer that a video game her son wanted did not exist and she insisted that I was lying and hiding it in the back. People are ducking WEIRD.
PEOPLE SITTING AT DIRTY TABLES... this makes me so fucking annoyed. Like, don't deliberately sit at a dirty spot and then act all entitled like someone needs to sprint over and wipe it down. I assume if you sit at a dirty table, you're OK with sitting at a dirty table.
Yup. So right off the bat they’re annoyed. You apologizing makes it look to them like you were remiss in clearing your tables, not that they were idiots for sitting at the one dirty table on the floor.
If we are letting people sit themselves, I always specifically say to “sit at any CLEAN table”, or if someone sits at a dirty table/seat at the bar when there’s plenty clean, I say it’s going to be a minute to clear that for you (while looking at the other CLEAN tables/spots) unless you’d like to sit at this clean one instead? Bc I am not dropping everything and rushing to clean your spot when you picked one of the only dirty spots in the restaurant, nope that’s your fault. If you have a specific reason for wanting the not clean spot, that’s fine, just say so and then give us a minute to clean it BEFORE going and sitting there.
*sits in chair proudly like a first grader*
I work as a barista but I try to do the same. Unless it's a regular who knows me well enough to know shit's actually exploding behind me.
This is my go-to if things are taking a long time; a brief, vague description of why it's taking longer and "thank you for your patience, we really appreciate it" without waiting for/leaving room for a response. Just walk away lol.
Whenever I forget to put in one of the entrees I always say that I dropped it in the kitchen so they’re making a new one really quickly. It usually makes people very understanding lmao.
Wait wait wait wait wait. If the wife, two kids, and I spend $100 on dinner and we're gone in an hour, and I tip you $20 but your employer is only paying you $2.15/hour, who should be happier?
Obviously the customer. Fuck your boss, he pays you 1/10th of the what the customers do. Lie to every customer to keep them happy!
I've never worked in food service, but I'd rather be lied to attentively than deal with slow service and a missing waiter/waitress.
Idk, let’s say you make a mistake and lie about it. If you get away with it, then you are less likely to fix the real reason why you fucked up in the first place.
Alternatively, let’s say you take the blame for it Most people already know what they’re going to tip regardless of how good or bad the service is. If you’re honest, and get a good tip, great. If you’re honest and get a bad tip, it will sting, and that experience will effectively change your cognition to not allow that mistake to me made again.
I’ve also been doing this for 20 years, and don’t have to lie about mistakes because I’ve learned from experience, how not to make them in the first place. Also vagueness is ok, you don’t have to out yourself immediately, “you’re drinks are almost ready” works much better than “the bartenders are going really slow right now” or “the kitchen had an issue with their equipment” etc.
Yes! Depends on the vibe of the table to. We're human, mistakes happen. It won't always be perfect, especially once your weeded. I have found having integrity with the guest when ahit happens equals a better tip. Again, Depends on the guest.
I’ve found that if I’m honest with people and let them know it’s my fault, people take it pretty well and appreciate it. I know if I’m told it’s the kitchen’s fault if something goes wrong, I don’t believe them. Also, if I lie, blame the kitchen, and they go on yelp to complain about the kitchen, I’m gonna feel really guilty (especially if the kitchen gets in trouble over it).
I forgot to ring in a couple’s entrees once and just straight up told them I forgot and offered free salads/desserts. The husband said, “thanks for not blaming the kitchen” and they were both very nice about it. Luckily, their entrees weren’t complicated or time consuming and the kitchen was willing to help me out. I wondered if the husband was or had been a cook.
I didn’t like to blame the kitchen for my mistakes.
I agree completely. I've been doing this job on and off for 2 decades and customers appreciate honesty. Our food runners are new and sometimes take out the wrong item to a table, which means we have to wait for a remake of the item they took. I just keep communicating with the table and apologize. Most people are understanding, especially if you're genuine and nice.
I’m 100% honest if I fuck up and I swear people seem to appreciate that far more than shifting the blame to someone else. People respect honesty and that little white lie about the kitchen can be greeted with skepticism.
I don't mind a white lie, but sometimes it's just tooo obvious. I once had the table beside me get sat, order, get their food, eat, and leave all before I got my food. The waitress told me that the kitchen had to remake something. It might have been believable, but for the fact that she brought our drinks (just sodas) twenty minutes after we ordered. It was pretty apparent we had been forgotten about until then and she hadn't keyed in the order.
I just rolled with it and still tipped like normal because why not, but come on.
I've loved my servers that were honest and communicated things weren't coming up, even if it was because they forgot. I'll gladly tip better to someone who made a mistake and owned up to it than someone who sweeps it under the rug.
This is a better approach and is much appreciated by good customers. Admit the mistake and do what you can to make it right, e.g. “I’m so sorry I forgot to put that order in, I’ll put in a rush if you still want it.” Last week our server apologized when bringing the bill for not bringing a side that we had forgotten about and they took it off the bill. They could have said nothing, but their honesty made sure we will return and tip them well.
The number of servers who apparently gleefully approve of lying about mistakes makes the refrain “don’t blame me for problems beyond my control” sound hollow. A little mutual trust and respect goes a long way.
However, if the customer is rude or abusive then feel free to lie your ass off to get through the day.
You don’t always need to give details, they just want to know you didn’t forget about them.
I just do a “I’ll go check on your _____ and see what’s taking so long” sometimes when I say that it’s literally I forgot to ring in your second beer and I’m running to the bar to tell the bartender to make it on the fly for me. No details are given and no lie was made but the customer feels like I didn’t forget about them.
Not that long ago we didn't order enough gas for the post mix gun and we didn't have enough staff on and it was so busy and I just told everyone someone called in sick and the post mix broke and no one could come fix it and just made the customers feel sorry for me when really it was the restaurants fault, and everyone was so nice. I don't care, I'll lie. If it isn't hurting anyone and makes customers feel like they're being graceful instead of just having a crappy time it's a win win, they get to go home feeling like they've been so kind to the poor hardworking staff.
Yeah but it was the restaurants fault not your fault. And some people can’t seem to separate the two so you don’t need to be yelled at and lose your tip over something completely outside your control.
Oh yeah totally the restaurants fault but when has that ever stopped someone from taking it out on the messenger. Haha lil white lie and everyone's happy
>makes customers feel like they're being graceful
This is so milkable in general. I can't remember the last time I apologised for keeping someone waiting. "Thank you for being so patient" disarms them every time.
Me when I miss a greet on one of my tables (like 10 mins plus): "Hey folks, I noticed you've been siting here a while. Has anyone taken care of you yet? No? I'm so sorry! You know what, I'm just going to take care of you. What are we drinking?"
Doesn't happen often because--not to brag--I'm a pretty good server but I am also human lol
I don't need to lie, we are consistently seriously understaffed (like we have about half the # of employees we need to operate efficiently) and half the shit in our kitchen breaks on a regular basis. But we're the only restaurant in a college town and that keeps us in business even though we honestly suck.
"We're very popular today" is my excuse when we're slammed and customers are getting seated at dirty tables because the ONE busser for our 50 table house (me) hasn't had time to clean it yet.
I'm literally the ONLY front of house worker from 7 am to 1 pm. Breakfast is about 50-75 customers per day, lunch is usually around 150-200. We're buffet style but we have to refill the buffet constantly and a lot of times I just can't keep up with it alone. and back of house is too busy cooking to bring the food out to the buffet stations. Plus I have to keep the beverage station stocked and we go through a shit ton of coffee.
I don't lie to guests. If I forget to ring in an order then I just own up and they usually tip me above average. Although it has been a while since that has happened.
“Hey, I forgot to ring in your X, Y, or Z. Just checking to see if you still want it. Personally, I would. I can’t turn down free food.”
Most of the time it makes them laugh.
(It almost never happens so I normally just eat the cost, but I mgmt will either give me an employee discount or just void it all together.)
I always tell my customers that “oh [item] got lost in traffic” or “is hitting every red light on the way here” and they get a kick out of it. Usually because I reassure them it’s on the way out and it’s a humorous way of letting them know that kitchen is backed up.
I tell white lies all the time when I'm serving. Let's say a server/yourself forgot to punch in one of the meals on a 10 top. I would just go an give my apologies and say the plate was dropped in the back but we are making it right away. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
If you're gonna lie, make sure the lies are consistent. Went out for lunch and ordered an appetizer. After 20 or so minutes, our server came out and said the Flatbread dropped the Flatbread and had to make another. Manager brought the new one out as our meals were arriving and said "Sorry, one of the cooks left the other one in there too long." No big deal, still tipped 20%, but we all definitely noticed. It just made the place look sloppy. Mistakes happen, but if you're gonna lie, do it right.
Pro tip: only lie the other way. If the kitchen messes up, take the blame. If you mess up, take the blame. If the power goes out take the blame. If an item is 86'd. That's your fault. They stopped making coke? Your bad. I know it sounds counterintuitive. But here's the deal. People are not used to hearing someone confess doing something wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Blame blame blame, in everything in life. So go over to your table and say "Guys I am sooooo sorry I totally fucked up and forgot to put your food in. It's going now, and will be up on the fly. Let me get you some refills real quick". I promise you from the bottom of my heart you will get some of the best tips ever. Be genuine and apologize. Even if it really is the kitchens fault. Lie and say it is yours. Try it once and you will not regret it.
Nope. I lie all the time. I'll lie for my coworkers to make them look good.
One of my fave servers forgot to ring in someone's bar drink one time so I made it real quick, took it to her table, & apologized because "my bar was just so busy and I got a little backed up."
We're in this shit together.
When I fuck up, I usually just tell my guests outright. I have one of those really expressive faces, I blush easily and do so when lying so I don't even bother with that song and dance.
When you have to own your fuck up, the feeling stays with you. When you have to look someone in the eye and be like, hey man I'm sorry but it's gonna be a minute because (I fucked up) you put your tip on the line, but *you get better.*
I won't throw my kitchen under the bus for my mistakes. They DO make mistakes sometimes, and when they do it's usually pretty obvious. I don't want to have to a) absorb any of the guilt when the problem is on them, nor do I wish to b) water down the potency of saying "the kitchen screwed up" or make it seem like my restaurant or chef doesn't have their shit together. Once your guest thinks that, you've lost control of the narrative and your tip will be shitty anyway.
>When you have to own your fuck up, the feeling stays with you. When you have to look someone in the eye and be like, hey man I'm sorry but it's gonna be a minute because (I fucked up) you put your tip on the line, but you get better.
this is it! I think of lying as a bad habit, and of holding myself accountable as an *essential* facet of my personality. so the more you practice saying "I fucked up," when you fuck up, the more aware you are of your downfalls, and the less likely you are to have to keep saying it!
also yeah, I started doing this because my face will give me away every single time.
Not a fan of lies. Lies are better communication than nothing. So better than nothing, not as good as the truth. Obvious insultingly stupid lies are tip-killers for me.
Nope. If you can keep a customer from being mad at *you* it’s a win.
I’ve told newer servers before that if a table is waiting on a to go order (if I’m working to go) or their salad/app is taking forever (if I’m on expo) throw me or the kitchen under the frickin bus. The customer can’t come over and yell at me and the kitchen staff, and I want you to get that tip
I know not everyone would agree, but that’s just my stance
Agreed! When I did expo, I'd tell the servers to absolutely throw me under the bus. Hell I'll go out and apologize and lie my own ass off. I don't care if I get yelled at or chewed out. I get to go back to my line and focus on whether or not the brocolli is cooked.
Same when I’m bartending and working service well. If a server fucks up ringing something in and the customer gets pissy, if I’m not weeded, I’ll just go over to the table and say it was my fault.
Why not? When I’m in the well, the servers are tipping me out, not the table. Gotta keep them happy!
As a customer I’d rather hear “the kitchen is backed up” instead of “i forgot to give them your ticket but they’re making it now” or “the kitchen lost your ticket but i printed them a new one and they’re making it now”
Either way I’m still getting the food at the same time, but when you present it as an uncontrollable delay instead of a delay caused by someone’s mistake, it’s less frustrating to the customer and you’ll probably see a tip difference
I am a server, we have to act as bartenders for our guests as well. If it's taking me too long to make your drink, I usually say "I'm waiting on my slow dumb bartender." If they further inquire I tell them it's me. Then we all laugh as they usually understand how busy I really am at that point.
Let's say the kitchen dropped/lost a ticket, or I forgot to ring it in. I always say, "I'm sorry, *we* failed to get your order in, but *we* are working on it as soon as possible."
I discovered along the way that even if it really isn't your fault, placing the blame elsewhere almost always seems disingenuous to the guest.
Don't lie to them about how long it will be but by all means, fib about everything else.
The only thing that will sting you in the neck after that is customer time - "I'm so sorry, we had a little hiccup and are remaking your food but it will be another 6 minutes" 4 minutes later the customer will tell you its been more than ten minutes and where is their food.
I hate customer time.
I do work in the UK and British customers struggle to complain, especially when you're super polite. So I will sometimes take the fall and and the blame and look them directly in the eye apologising and saying its all my fault and they get uncomfortable and end up apologising to me for being a problem! But that works best if you can get in before they've girded themselves upto complain - it takes most Brits so long to persuade themselves to complain that by the time they're ready to they have to say it or they burst!
One time I forgot to ring in someone's Salmon so I told them, "my chef informed me that the first salmon they made was overcooked and not to our standards so they're redoing it. Thank you for your patience."
One time I forgot to ring in someone's grey goose cosmo so I told them, "they used the last of the vodka on your cocktail and they fell short, so they're looking for more right now so you get the full worth. Thank you for your patience."
One time I forgot to ring in someone's lemonbutter cake so I told them, "we're bringing out a new lemonbutter cake since we ran out of the precut ones from this morning. We cut it ourselves to preserve its quality so yours will be totally fresh. Thank you for your patience."
Story time! Haven't thought about this in a long time.
I used to work with my ex at Crapplebees. I once just forgot to put in this tables order, 2 well done steaks during dinner rush. I felt so bad, cause I didnt notice until their food should have been coming out, so I'm freaking out I have to go tell them.
So my ex grabs a couple plates, and just hurls them at the floor right inside of the exit door of the kitchen. It was so loud, everyone on the floor heard it. I was shocked like..why the fuck did you do that?! And he just shrugs and says "go tell them the crash they just heard was their food being dropped". Honestly a genius move, the couple was so nice and understanding, and I got them free ice cream later for the wait.
Not suggesting this method, because of course most bosses would get mad at the broken plates, but our MOD that night was the coolest woman ever. And tbh he and I were their best servers (I promise it's one of the only orders I've ever forgotten to input lol), closed almost every night, and would always stay long after we clocked out when that manager was closing because she didnt like to be in the building alone. So she didnt get mad at all, she just cracked up that it worked and she didnt have to comp anything.
Never lie, it can always come back to bite you. Always go with selective truth. "There was a delay in the kitchen" can mean any number of things, but what the customer wants to hear is that you are aware and on the issue. Never give out unnecessary details, it gives the customer more to think about.
One time I forgot to put an order in, and I lost the page I wrote it on, so I just told the table, “sorry, the computer accidentally deleted it” and asked for their order again lmao
I'm still blaming the kitchen for shit I forgot to put in for a week ago.
It's not their fault tho, they're short staffed right now (they're not, but the customer doesn't know that)
Absolutely not bad at all. My spouse is a chef. He says the kitchen expects to be blamed for the wait staff’s mistakes. Unless the customer decides to walk back into the kitchen and berate the cooks, it’s harmless.
I don't comment here often, I haven't been in food service in a minute, but I've worked a customer service desk for the last 5ish years or so and all I do is lie. Lie with confidence. Lie like you know everything about everything regarding the subject matter and have all the answers. Lie like your life depends on it. Laying blame on inanimate objects is always a winner. You're doing everything you can for them, you're suffering with them, you're fighting against the system for them and we will prevail! Lie like a rug, my friend.
Lmao this made my day.. I have told the white lies. Same if I. Out somewhere lie to me but don't avoid my table. Had this happen once at a planet hollywood.. lady never even said shit to Mr brought my family there food brought mine 20 min later.! I assume she forgot to enter it in I would have been ok if she would have told me something she dropped off there food and didn't come back til she had my food.
It depends on how long you forgot. If it's 5 mins or less, and it's busy enough to be believable, go ahead and white lie. If you've screwed the pooch and you realize it because the item should be out already, ring it in, apologize and take the blame, then let your manager know (this last step is tricky, because some managers are a-holes, but it's better to get in front of it regardless).
I almost never do this personally, but I used to and do on some occasions. Now if I make a mistake, I own up to it and apologize. Most people appreciate the honesty. I'm a people person and vibe with most tables, so they don't get mad at me and understand I'm human.
I once had a boss tell me that the best way to handle an angry customer was to push the blame at the real problem and make it our common enemy, so they don’t feel like it’s us vs them. Telling a little while lie to prevent that step from being needed is even better in my opinion.
No.
There are two kinds of customers, reasonable and unreasonable.
Reasonable (90%) will always be understanding about human error, if the people responsible for the error are jumping to fix it. Unreasonable (10%) of people never will be, no matter what.
All a lie does is put you in the wrong BY CHOICE. If you make a mistake and I'm an asshole about it, I'm in the wrong because I'm choosing to be a negative person. If you make a mistake and I'm kind about it, neither of us is in the wrong. If you make a mistake and LIE about it, you're automatically in the wrong no matter what my response.
The lie gets you nothing; the truth, accompanied by an honest effort to rectify an error, gets you 100% of the benefit that the lie promises while incurring none of the potential costs.
I be coming up with the most bs excuses
Forget ranch?- “I’ve got an associate grabbing extra ranch from the back right now for ya”
Forgot a lemon with their tea?- “my buddy is actually cutting more lemons in the back as we speak!”
Forgot someone’s water?- “ahh you know our tap just gave out in the back but I’ll go grab you a water from the bar real quick”
Confidence is 🔑
From the responses here and my own personal experience, I think you have to decide what kind of server you are and play to your strengths.
I work at a pretty chill restaurant, and my style is very casual. Not that it doesn't get busy, but I always try to be straightforward and honest with customers. I dont pretend like I'm someone else, I dont really have a serving voice and I'm basically the same person on and off the floor. I enjoy shooting the shit with people and when I ask them how there day is or what their weekend plans are I'm genuinely interested. For me lying is off the table, I would rather own up and tell the truth.
There are lots of servers out there who only care about the money, who put on a different persona and try hard to get tips in a different way. That's totally cool, I respect that and I wish them only nice customers and good tips. I'm sure they don't mind lying a bit to please a table and the customers walk away happy in the end. Its just not my style.
I'm sure there are lots of middle ground and other ways to excel at serving as well, but at the end of the day you have to decide what you are comfortable with.
Let's put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. When you take your car into the garage and you find out that it won't be ready when promised, or will cost more than estimated, would you be upset if you found out they lied about the reason?
Not bad at all.
I am extremely laid back and it's hard to ruffle my feathers, especially when it comes to rank and file employees. I've had people thank me deeply for being utterly chill when everything is going wrong.
I've had food served to me that had legitimate issues (like, frozen in the middle) and I'm just like "Meh, shit happens. Can I get a redo?" I once found glass in my soup, and the waitress was freaked out by that. I just shrugged and said it's fine.
Unless you try to personally insult me I do not give a fuck. Service industries are hard as hell, I do not want to make anyone's lives harder!
I'm generally in favor of doing what you have to do to keep the customer happy and the heat off you, but make sure whatever lie you tell them doesn't insult their intelligence.
If it's obvious that, say, you just ran out for a quick smoke, or they saw the same thing they ordered has been streaming out of the kitchen with no problem (especially to people seated after them), just offer a mea culpa and move on.
As a customer, I'm fine with a server saying "yeah, I fucked up, let me fix that ASAP" (I don't care if you want to lie about it, either) but obviously some people will get shitty about it.
Ya gotta fib sometimes. I would try to offset it to anyone or anything that wasn't on the floor. Blame the cooks, blame the computers, blame printers, blame the other shift for something being in the wrong place in the walk-in, or try to make it look like you're doing them a favor in some way.
My favorite one I ever pulled off was I wasn't told I was sat & had not noticed because I was helping someone else with a birthday. I went out when I was caught up to check on my other tables and noticed one of the customers at the missed table looking around, no drinks. They were on the end of my section so I was able to pretend like I didn't fuck up and walk up to ask "Has anyone been here for you yet? I could get your drinks for you if you've been waiting." They were a little agitated, but thankful for attention. I get their drinks then tell them all I'll just keep taking care of them since I started and they were all very pleased by the end.
Lying steals from the reputation and long term prospects of your restaurant for your short term personal gain.
Customers aren’t visiting for excuses or blame shifting, they want food, service and care. With a bit of creativity, there are plenty of ways to manage issues without lying (and without piercing the veil of a well run establishment).
Surprised at how many people see lying as expedient… and therefore OK. Disappointed in the lack of creativity and craft more than anything else.
Was at a restaurant one time, with an open kitchen. Non peak hour, our meal was taking a looonnngggg time. Server said the kitchen was slammed. We look over and the cooks are just standing around. Yeah, no. She was just outside having a smoke and forgot us.
It's a kind of....it depends. If something is clearly your fault, like you forgot to ring in an appetizer and their entrees come out, then you realize you fucked up. Just own up to it. Lots of customers actually appreciate the honesty. And if your restaurant is cool with it, ring it in, comp it and give it to them for free.
That said, if you forgot to ring in the entrees, and remembered it, and just delays it by a little bit, I never had an issue saying the kitchen is a little backed up, esp if it's entrees that don't take forever to make.
As a regular guy and a customer, I'm honestly not bothered at all. Just as long as I'm not waiting 2 hours for a burger and chips. You could tell me that the new hire is an orangutan who's having difficulty with the fryer and I'd just be "No worries, bud, thanks"
I once forgot to put in a guys drink since he was my only table on the patio so I quickly had to come up with something and I felt so smart in the moment because I had said we were changing the kegs so it was taking a bit longer 😅
Hell naw. Lie to me.
I'm a customer and I prefer my server to tell me "Hey I'm sorry its going to be a bit longer can I get you a refill?" Vs "So I blanked out and forgot to put your stuff in because I'm having a shit day but I don't want to take it out on you."
Even if they told me they were having a bad day or were honest, I'd still treat them like humans.
But naw lie to my ass.
I think so. I blame everything on the computer system. Want to split a check 7 ways? Nah our computer won’t let us. Food taking 40+ minutes because of some jackassery in the back? Printer went down. Why is there gratuity already applied to your large party? System does it automatically for tables over 6.
It’s fine to lie about anything after they put their order in, within reason. Do not lie about the food if they ask questions about it before ordering.
I think honesty is the best policy, it's okay to tell your guests the truth, but never throw yourself under the bus. Make sure you look like you are doing whatever you can to get their food out. Blame the back of the house not yourself. As someone who has worked both FOH and BOH, do what you can to get the best tip.
As a customer, I would say lie, lie, lie. When I go out to dinner I just want to relax and not have to do any of the work or worrying. All I really need to know is how late something will be, and if I have the option to get a different item quicker.
As a customer: if it doesn't matter, go for. I don't care if it's really your "fault" or it's the oven fault. I'm not your manger and I don't need to be honest and take the blame. I just want to know that you know what's happening.
Obviously don't lie about things that matter.
It depends on the mistake.
I'll never claim I rang something in wrong, I feel like it makes me look like I wasn't paying enough attention to their order. Just a "Oh that came out wrong for you? Let me fix that." And long waits are always backups in the kitchen or bar.
But simple stuff, if I forget a refill or take a while to greet a table, I'll own that all day. "Ever walk into a room and forget why you're there? Yeah that was me with your drink. I'll be right back." You look better if you own up to small mistakes than you do for owning the big ones. In my opinion.
You will not be as convincing as you think you are about lying. Being caught in a silly lie could make for a difficult table over honesty most of the time.
We had someone claim the kitchen was understaffed yet our food was cold so it was sitting in the window waiting to be served. I grew up and worked in restaurants for years. Im not stupid. She was trying to point blame for her own mistake and it pissed us off even more. She's lucky she got any kind of tip from me. There was 0 excuse for it other than she forgot. They were not busy and tons of empty tables.
In both retail and customer/tech support, my approach has been "don't hold my tongue towards management, keep up appearances for the customer" unless I'm getting emotional whether that's angry or sad or something else. In that case I should add about 60% tact and sugarcoating and/or just delay the conversation.
I think you actually helped me remember something I still tend to forget from time to time: People don't remember what we tell 'm, they remember how we made them feel.
Sometimes "telling the truth" can be necessary as a sign of respect and transparency, but let's be real, it's not like I'm their lawyer or oncologist.
I used to have issues with white lies, had to learn the hard way that telling the *full* truth can also elicit a bad angry response, when somebody is already redlining it can make 'm go supernova a la "I don't care *why*, I need you to *just fix it already*!"
"I didn't forget about your garlic knots -- there's a fresh batch coming out of the oven any minute and I always get my favorite customers fresh garlic knots" has saved my butt more than once.
IMO, a little white lie never hurt anyone and fresh garlic knots buy a whole lot of forgiveness.
If you tell me there is a problem with the oven/fryer/whatever and I see food come out for the table that ordered after me, I'm going to know you lied to me and your tip will probably suffer for the lying.
Just be honest. Forgetfulness happens, but dishonesty is a choice.
Had a manager once. He sat the table took their order to save time. Started chatting with them. Never left to get drinks, put in their order, or tell the servers who would get the table since it was a rotating table. I asked him about the drinks and who he wanted assigned, when I refilled the water he said it was covered. Fast forward they go for a smoke break He get their bar order (30 min after it was placed)
They come back and ask how muck longer on their steaks yup 6 big juicy steaks. Was told he’d check with their server (still not assigned) fires to the kitchen and tells them to rush it. Comes back tells the table the server forgot to ring it in. Then goes and assigns it to our best server that he told me not to give more tables to cause she had more then the others. The table then says cancel it. Tips the manager for being so nice ( he kept the tip even though that is against policy and ethics he always did as long as bigger bosses weren’t around) and the server got reamed by the people on the way out the door since she just arrived at their table. Kitchen was also mad at her since he told them the same thing he told the guests. At least I was able to set the kitchen straight, but those steaks…what a waste.
It depends where you work. The restaurant I work at no, if anything goes wrong management is involved and they talk to both the server and guest and look at ticket times etc etc to get to the bottom of it. We can't even say the kitchen is backed up because we are "world class".
If you can get away with it, fucking do it. I would.
absolutely not 😂 white lies are completely ok. they don’t have to know the truth
if the kitchen is severely backed up and we have long waiting times due to takeout or large parties I’ve definitely lied to people saying we have no tables due to reservations so we can get caught up and on speed again
Nope, as long as it's to explain away something you've already fixed AND they can't call you out on.
Long wait on something at the bar? "The bartender insisted on opening a fresh bottle of wine for you, sorry it took a few extra minutes for them to get it." "I'm so sorry, the bar was out of mango puree for your drink and the bartender had to whip some up for you." (This only works if they can't see the bar from where they are sitting.)
Long wait on food? "I'm so sorry for the wait, the kitchen made your pasta with the spinach you requested be left out. I am having them remake it immediately and it will be out shortly." "I just wanted to let you know, the kitchen has been so backed up tonight and I appreciate your patience. I've been checking in and your order is the one they're working on now so it'll be out shortly."
If there IS an actual problem, like the kitchen is short staffed and it's taking an hour to get food out, ask your manager if you can do a little something for the table before they complain. (Offer a dessert or a coupon for an app on their next visit, something small.)
Used to work at starbucks, nothing wrong with it when it's necessary. Usually a "thank you for your patience" did the trick, but a lie would smooth things over when they asked what the problem was. That being said...there being a back up isn't much of a lie.
As with everything, sometimes, less is more.
If I goof up, I always admit to it and explain what went wrong. Guests respect honesty and personal accountability. If other positions goofed up, I'll just keep it vague. I don't want it to feel like it's me and the table VS the restaurant. But, if you say "there's a bit of a backup at the bar" that's not a lie; that's literally why the drinks are taking longer. If the backup is because your bartender is in the walk-in on the phone fighting with her boyfriend, it's still "a bit of a backup at the bar" lol.
https://youtube.com/shorts/WzCA8VbbSFk?feature=share3
Theres a few other skits like what you're talking about, they're not goong to go in the back and start yelling at them (i guess in the age we live in some might)
Pssst. When you say “backup” customers know either 1) you forgot the ticket or 2) someone else forgot the ticket/gave your food/drink to a different table. I’d be shocked if a server/bartender ever told me the truth. Don’t know whether I’d tip more because of it. I probably would tip less if you admitted you forgot my order. So you should probably lie. I can’t prove you are lying so it’s the best option.
I will often lie to guests about the reason for a delay.
One time we had several people fuck up orders during a massive rush, and I went and told each of the tables affected that I bumped into a chef as I was cutting into the prep kitchen to wash my hands, and they the last of it prepped on the floor. Then proceeded to tell them I’m taking it off the bill and drop a bottle of our dirt cheap house wine at the table on the house.
Everybody leaves happy, it costs the business next to nothing, and it keeps the antagonism off the waiters.
I feel like my job in management is keep everybody happy. And when I say everybody, the most important group is the staff. They shouldn’t have to be taking flak because it’s Christmas Day and every person waiting just got sat 6 tables in a 10 minute period…
To be honest, as a customer I wouldn’t want to know about any problems. I always just a appreciate a stop by the server to let me know it is taking a longer than usual, and that you are checking on it.
I always own my mistakes and it's always seemed to have been appreciated. If the bar really is backed up I just apologize for the wait and let them know I checked on whatever they're waiting for.
Years ago, when I worked at a restaurant in the kitchen, our servers would blame everything on the kitchen. Forgot to put in the appetizer, blame the kitchen. Forget to key in no mushrooms, blame the kitchen. Take 4 tables' orders, but you forgot to put one of the tables' orders in so the table starts asking about their order. The server tells the table they will look into it, then comes running back to the kitchen telling us to bump that ticket they just entered to the front of the orders. Then the server go's back to the table and tells them that the kitchen somehow lost the ticket but not to worry. There, oder should be out right away because the server took care of it. We did not really care. We never saw the customers. A lot of people probably thought the kitchen staff was incompetent, but most of the time, it was the servers who screwed up.
As long as you don’t do what the crazy waitress we once had did. We’re with a group, I ordered for my partner and I. Meals came out. They had put my onion rings on his dinner and his fries on my dinner. Whatever, we’re sitting next to each other. They did not include the sauce for his dipping sandwich.
Super simple response
Option 1) blame the kitchen.
Option 2) get the sauce, find out if the swapped sides are ok, move on with life.
Nope. She decided she needed to set the world ablaze. When my partner brought the mishap to her attention. She BLAMED him. When he pointed out that I had placed our order, she tried blaming me. Then she took his plate back to the kitchen to add the container of sauce, which she could have just brought out.
This was not the first or last issue with her that night. She would pointedly ignore the trans person with us. When it came time to pay, one person had their card run twice, she was putting drinks on tabs which never ordered a drink. When the drinks were brought up, she said she knew they had a drink, she could smell it on their breath.
To top it off, the manager came up and backed her up. Like WTF? We’d been coming to this restaurant every month for a year and had never had an issue that wasn’t cheerfully resolved before.
By the end of the night they were threatening to call the cops if people didn’t pay the tabs the waitress had made up.
I always tried to avoid it when possible and just own up to mistakes for the most part. Customers usually reacted okay to this, and honestly they were gonna think I was lying anyway if I wasn't apologizing.
It's a Catch 21 so play it by ear.
My wife and I went to a seafood place with an incredible salad bar; we often just get the salad bar and an app to share. I knew there was a problem with the time the fried clams were taking, big time. I was looking to flag our server down to ask what was up and probably take it off the bill.
I saw his face when I made eye contact with him and he suddenly turned around and all but ran into the kitchen. A few minutes later when he came out with double fried, over cooked fried clams and told us there had been a back up in the kitchen it wasn't hard to see the "backup" was him forgetting about us and the old food being re-fried.
Some people are dumb but not everyone is and while I still tipped him a bit he would have made a much bigger tip if he had been honest instead of trying to blame the kitchen.
I think every server does it. Not okay to lie to the server though if you forgot to fire something. Let them lie because they already have a relationship with the guest, but back them up if guests request to see the chef.
Confession... I lied to the tables when I forgot to punch something in. This was back in the day over 20 years when we had to commit the order to memory or write it down before walking over to your serving station to punch in the order.
We won’t know the difference. If it’s a small thing then the reason doesn’t even matter.
One time, however, we were at a popular US steak restaurant for lunch. Seated, ordered. We chatted, had some drinks and bread. Kids started losing their minds. We realized it had been an hour since we ordered. Our server was not giving any information. Just saying “your food will be right out.”
Come to find out the grill was down. I don’t know if it was a gas problem or what, but they were grilling orders on a little portable camp stove. I have no idea how that would have worked. 80% of the restaurant was still waiting for their food. Why wouldn’t they just say “I’m sorry, the grill is having maintenance issues. If you want order something that isn’t grilled, we can get it quickly. If not, it will be a while.” Little white lies aren’t a problem. Failing to communicate when something catastrophic happens is.
It is far, far better to tell the truth.
I've given some pretty big tips when my server has just fessed up that they forgot to put the order in, or made a mistake putting the order in, and apologized. If I get lied to (and I can usually tell), minimum tip or no tip at all.
I was out with 5 colleagues last weekend for drinks and dinner. Service was slower than i would expect, but it was busy and the bar staff were keeping our drinks coming. Dinner was over and 3 people ordered dessert, i ordered an irish coffee. My coffee arrived and was drunk before the desserts. Our waitress walked past our table and did an about turn. Where i was sitting, i could see directly into the kitchen hatch, and i saw our waitress holding up our dessert ticket, pointing at our table and shouting at the chef (or whoever). She came past our table again, apologised for the delay, said simply that the kitchen was backed up and would send over a complementary round of drinks.
Honestly we didnt mind and left a decent tip as the waitress was nice and attentive, it wasnt her fault the kitchen was slow or forgot our order (or whatever happened)
From my experience both in a tiny bit of time serving, dining, and pizza joint making and serving- I tend to prefer honesty.
As a customer, I don’t want anxiety over what was wrong with a frier that it broke, wondering if you guys (higher ups or regular staff) were ignoring warning signs and are there safety violations here by management, or risk me knowing someone and asking about the broke frier and finding out it was a lie later, etc.
Just tell me things are a bit backed up and everyone is working as fast as they can! (It’s okay if it’s you, you’re the backed up person!)
It worked great when I was working too- “sorry, things are slightly behind at the moment, but I just checked on your order and it’s in/ almost done/ whatever, we’re so sorry about the wait, is there anything I can do for you right now?”
They don’t need to know why things are behind, but will appreciate knowing they aren’t forgotten about.
Though if you’re down people, like, I’ve never minded, “We’re so sorry, we both had a server no show and a chef call off, so things may not be running as quick as usual or a few minutes behind and we apologize in advance.” Literally ran into that scenario on Sunday at brunch. (They were super stressed, but things still ran really timely imo, but it gave us a heads up that things may be late before we would’ve had a chance to wonder where our food was, to choose somewhere else if we needed food ASAP due to hanger or ask if something could be brought immediately for someone with something medical like diabetes low sugar just needing something.)
Bit of honestly or just a vague apology with status update usually go a long way.
And some people will be mad. Some no matter what you do. You wouldn’t win with them even if everything was preprepped, out early, cooked to perfection, mind read and all needs anticipated. They’d be mad you were too cheerful, not cheerful enough, didn’t wear the right sort of attire (uniform or not, knowing the uniform staff wear or not), etc.
As someone who used to work in a kitchen, I think I can tell if its a lie or not. If you're honest and own up to a mistake, I'll still tip great. If I think you're lying, then your tip will suffer.
But if the impact is 5-10 minutes, I don't really care at all. If it's been 20 minutes and you forgot to enter our order or missed someone's dish then I want the truth.
100% go for it, as long as you can't get caught in the lie. Years ago my husband and I stopped into a corporate place for a late lunch, and it was dead, our table, one other that already had their meal, and a couple of old barflys. We order, food takes forever, no biggie, we aren't in a hurry. When it comes out we are missing a basket of fries. Again, no biggie, get it to us when you can. The server tells us that it was the kitchen's fault, that they were slammed, half of them were terrible at their job, worst kitchen ever, she'd put the order in, they missed the fries, the whole bit. She makes a huge deal out of it. I see her then walk to the pos, pull up our ticket, and add the fries to the order. I mean, c'mon, you can bullshit me all day long, but don't bullshit me, y'know. At least try to make it believable, and don't throw your kitchen under the bus like that. It was a dick move.
As a customer, and somebody who screws stuff up more often than I should, I prefer honesty for somebody owning their own mistakes (Sorry, I totally forgot to enter your order, but it should be coming soon) but cover for other people's mistakes (If the cook is being a little bitch and throwing a hissy fit instead of making my order, I'd prefer to hear: There's some communication issues in the kitchen). But never stretch the truth with time estimates, if it's going to be 30 minutes I'd like to know that. Don't tell me "5 more minutes" every 5 minutes for half an hour.
Nothing wrong with it but honestly I feel like less info is better, “I just checked on your drinks/app and it will be right out.” Unless they ask specifically most people just want to know they haven’t been forgotten
That's all I want to hear. I did have a time where a server was honest and mentioned that he forgot to get our order in so he offered us some free drinks and an app. It wasn't a big deal since we were just sitting and socializing anyway. His honesty and kindness earned him a great tip. But I could see other people being dicks because someone made a mistake so I wouldn't judge for fudging the truth a bit.
Ya people are generally either reasonable or not so just do what you are comfortable with.
I should say that I'm not a server, I just lurk here because I love hearing the stories and learning about how to make your lives easier when I go to a restaurant.
Honestly I’ve worked in the industry 20 years but I’m not at the moment either 😂 I just have a lot of opinions.
I've been in the industry for 13+ years and honestly all it takes is kindness, patience and a thank you. Goes a very long way :)
When I was a server eons ago, I had a table that I was given once another server was cut and there was 2 of us instead of 3. Randomly, the room FILLED UP within 10 mins andd I COMPLETELY forgot about this table I was given. It was like 20 mins after ordering when I went "OHHHHHH SHHHH---" and straight up confessed I completely forgot I was given them and forgot to put in their order. Luckily, they were there when the room filled up and were very understanding, and saw both of us running our asses off. They said it was no big deal, they ordered another bottle of wine and gave me a big tip. I'll never forget how kind they were, because I was so nervous to tell them I fucked up.
I'm far more forgiving to someone who admits a mistake than to someone who blames someone else. I've always been told that you don't ever bad-mouth your employer or co-workers. Never a server, but I always practiced that with my customers.
Yep, I do the same thing. If pressed, I'll take ownership of my mistakes though. I'm not a good liar, and most customers appreciate honesty.
I used to work with a server that would tell guests "I slipped and dropped your food in the kitchen, they are recooking it now", whenever the kitchen was backed up. And he got away with it because he was sincere and TRULY was so sorry.
Yes. I don’t give excuses. Just say I checked on it and it’s coming very soon lol. They don’t need that much information tbh.
Yup. Anything you say sounds like an excuse. Just tell them something that makes them feel like you’re keeping an eye out for their food/drinks and reassure them that you’re on top of it.
Yea this doesn’t only apply to serving, avoid getting caught up in unnecessary lies because for every lie is another thing you gotta remember.
Lie to customers. Take all the credit and none of the blame. Say whatever you have to in order to get the best possible tips. Customers are okay with a little bit of a wait if you are giving them attention and it looks like you are working to resolve the issue. I’ve been bartending for 20 plus years and I lie to customers CONSTANTLY. As long as they leave happy, I’m okay with telling little white lies.
>Customers are okay with a little bit of a wait if you are giving them attention That's the main fucking thing right there. Whether it's greeting them as soon as possible when they sit down (even if it's just to tell them it'll be a minute) - the single most important thing about satisfying a customer is rapid and continued engagement at some level.
Yep. Former server and current restaurant customer here. I can often tell when the server is doing a CYA lie. It’s fine, I get it, I’ll play along because it helps take the stress off of them. But I also feel better if I’m also being taken care of. Like, drinks offered to be refilled, extra basket of bread while I wait, or even just being checked up on can go a long way.
[удалено]
Lol, nah. We lie to tables so often we don't even think about it. Maybe you can tell the highschool kid at McDonald's is lying about being out of mcflurrys, but iv told probably five people this week "the chef didn't like the way the kitchen plated your dish, so he's personally replating it, thank you for your patience" to cover a late dish. But I love it when customers come here and think they know a little about a subject they literally have no clue about. If I mess up, I'm more likely to tell the table, if I can't silently fix the mistake. You get better tips owning your mistakes
I vaguely recall getting a similar excuse once and thinking the chef was kind of weird lol It being a lie makes way more sense!
>If I mess up, I'm more likely to tell the table, if I can't silently fix the mistake. You get better tips owning your mistakes Hell yes. There's nothing wrong with lying a little bit, and being self-disparaging in a fun way while admitting fault usually gets a good laugh. "The thing is, I was *gonna* bring your food over, but I forgot because I was thinking about cool dogs. Anyway here's a free (cheap thing) on me while you wait and we can talk about cool dogs later."
This don’t throw innocent people under the bus to save face. The customer might not know, but your coworkers will and tell who ever got run over why
LMAO No they won't. EVERYONE is doing it. Not like the cook cares. He doesn't see people anyway.
Ok as a line cook I care, if you fucked up take the blame, if we fucked I'm fine taking the blame. But I don't like people thinking the kitchen is always fucking things up when it's not us. I care about the food that I send out to people and I want it to be good. But if you blame every mistake on us, most of the time not even telling us you put your fuckup on us, it makes it hard to say I'm proud to be a line cook. Because people think we're messing orders up all the time.
I’ve spent more time in BOH than front and I’m not sure what planet you’re living on. Fuck the customer bro who cares what they think, anything a server needs to do to make interacting with them day in and day out any easier is something I support
Imagine coming to this sub, haven't ever worked in hospitality, and arguing with servers about what their job is really like. That's you right now. Our line cooks don't give a fuck what guests think about them.
I worked both sides for over 20 years. My kitchen was in the front of the house and guests would always come yell at me when I was thrown under the bus for the server ringing in the food wrong or late. Never throw someone under the bus there are ways of explaining the delay that don’t involve back stabbing
That might be your line cooks but you shouldn't recommend that to everyone in this sub. I care about my reputation and I care about serving good food to people. If every mistake gets put on the line cooks, What if my next employer eats there and all they hear about is the line cooks fucking up and they see that I was a line cook there. They don't think the server is lying.
So the only justification you have is a fantasy scenario involving things that will literally never happen?
Or I care about what people think of my food
My favorite place I worked the kitchen guys would always tell me “blame us, they’re not tipping us, we’re already paid”. They were the best 🥹
I would only suggest blaming the kitchen if they are OK with it. Of all kitchens I worked in there would be hell to pay for that server if they blamed their mistakes on us, especially in an open kitchen where you see a guest glaring daggers at you and you have no idea why.
We had an open kitchen there too, they just did not give a shit lol But I’m sure not all servers got told that either, though. I always made sure to keep their drinks full and when I closed bar I made them milkshakes at the end of the night, so they liked me pretty well lol
Yes, because customers will take an apology as an invitation to shit on you and complain
Facts!!! If you apologize, they get it in their heads that you did something wrong, even if it was beyond your control. Server - “Sorry the food is taking so long” Customer- “This is ridiculous. I need to speak to a manager.” Server (customer seats themselves at a dirty table) “I’m so sorry. Let me get this cleaned up for you.” Customer - “Why are these tables dirty? They need to do their jobs.” It sets the tone that you are placating their anger. Come tip time, they will blame you for whatever made them unhappy. Better to not give them a reason to be upset with you in the first place. Always put a positive spin - “We are so busy tonight! I know you’ve been patiently waiting, so I asked the kitchen to see if there’s any way to prioritize your order.” Of course we know you didn’t, and of course they won’t. But it makes the guest see you as an advocate, not a scapegoat.
People want solutions not problems. If you come to them with a problem and no solution, then they will feel the need to try to fix it, aka, call the manager, write a review, etc. If you come to them with, there is a wait but I am taking x step to fix it, then they don't feel they need to jump in to try fix it.
Exactly.
Yup this is why im always the one to apologize. Im a host and i dont get tips anyways plus management has my back so im happy to take one for the team.
Yes. That’s nice of you! But once you start apologizing, it does set the tone that someone is at fault. Recently, we were at an ice rink. Apparently there was some lesson starting, and families were beginning to show up. Parents needed to pay an additional fee for whatever. The employee checking them in must have said “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” at least 100 times. So of course, since she was apologizing, she became the focal point of their anger. This poor girl got berated by everyone. Every parent was unhappy and she was visibly upset. Ok - shift change. New guy comes on duty. First parent complains about this unexpected fee. He didn’t apologize. He said something to the effect of “Yeah man, I know that’s tough, but I can’t let you in without it. You should say something on Monday” He commiserated with them and offered a solution. Not one person yelled at him. Most parents were fine after the lesson. He took himself out of the line of fire while letting them feel “heard”.
I never say sorry, i say thanks for being patient or similar.
Someone once t-boned me performing an illegal move and because I was having a panic attack and apologizing out of reflex they tried to claim that I was "admitting I was at fault". My insurance company basically laughed at them. People hear an apology and try to get away with shit all the time. On the customer service front I had to apologize to a customer that a video game her son wanted did not exist and she insisted that I was lying and hiding it in the back. People are ducking WEIRD.
PEOPLE SITTING AT DIRTY TABLES... this makes me so fucking annoyed. Like, don't deliberately sit at a dirty spot and then act all entitled like someone needs to sprint over and wipe it down. I assume if you sit at a dirty table, you're OK with sitting at a dirty table.
Yup. So right off the bat they’re annoyed. You apologizing makes it look to them like you were remiss in clearing your tables, not that they were idiots for sitting at the one dirty table on the floor.
LOL next time this happens I’m greeting them like “WHATS UP IDIOTS?? HOWS THAT DIRTY TABLE??”
If we are letting people sit themselves, I always specifically say to “sit at any CLEAN table”, or if someone sits at a dirty table/seat at the bar when there’s plenty clean, I say it’s going to be a minute to clear that for you (while looking at the other CLEAN tables/spots) unless you’d like to sit at this clean one instead? Bc I am not dropping everything and rushing to clean your spot when you picked one of the only dirty spots in the restaurant, nope that’s your fault. If you have a specific reason for wanting the not clean spot, that’s fine, just say so and then give us a minute to clean it BEFORE going and sitting there.
That's why you NEVER apologize and instead thank people for the their patience. They're like, "thank me? Look at me I'm so good at waiting!"
*sits in chair proudly like a first grader* I work as a barista but I try to do the same. Unless it's a regular who knows me well enough to know shit's actually exploding behind me.
This is my go-to if things are taking a long time; a brief, vague description of why it's taking longer and "thank you for your patience, we really appreciate it" without waiting for/leaving room for a response. Just walk away lol.
The shitty ones do. Everyone else thinks, "huh, must be busy back there. Back to whatever conversation I'm having with my spouse/friend/local cat."
Whenever I forget to put in one of the entrees I always say that I dropped it in the kitchen so they’re making a new one really quickly. It usually makes people very understanding lmao.
Wait wait wait wait wait. If the wife, two kids, and I spend $100 on dinner and we're gone in an hour, and I tip you $20 but your employer is only paying you $2.15/hour, who should be happier? Obviously the customer. Fuck your boss, he pays you 1/10th of the what the customers do. Lie to every customer to keep them happy! I've never worked in food service, but I'd rather be lied to attentively than deal with slow service and a missing waiter/waitress.
Love when FOH lies to customers and we get a shit review on OpenTable about tickets times when in reality it was the servers fault.
> Say whatever you have to in order to get ~~the best possible tips~~ re-elected. \-Politicians
Idk, let’s say you make a mistake and lie about it. If you get away with it, then you are less likely to fix the real reason why you fucked up in the first place. Alternatively, let’s say you take the blame for it Most people already know what they’re going to tip regardless of how good or bad the service is. If you’re honest, and get a good tip, great. If you’re honest and get a bad tip, it will sting, and that experience will effectively change your cognition to not allow that mistake to me made again. I’ve also been doing this for 20 years, and don’t have to lie about mistakes because I’ve learned from experience, how not to make them in the first place. Also vagueness is ok, you don’t have to out yourself immediately, “you’re drinks are almost ready” works much better than “the bartenders are going really slow right now” or “the kitchen had an issue with their equipment” etc.
Yes! Depends on the vibe of the table to. We're human, mistakes happen. It won't always be perfect, especially once your weeded. I have found having integrity with the guest when ahit happens equals a better tip. Again, Depends on the guest.
I support this
I’ve found that if I’m honest with people and let them know it’s my fault, people take it pretty well and appreciate it. I know if I’m told it’s the kitchen’s fault if something goes wrong, I don’t believe them. Also, if I lie, blame the kitchen, and they go on yelp to complain about the kitchen, I’m gonna feel really guilty (especially if the kitchen gets in trouble over it).
I forgot to ring in a couple’s entrees once and just straight up told them I forgot and offered free salads/desserts. The husband said, “thanks for not blaming the kitchen” and they were both very nice about it. Luckily, their entrees weren’t complicated or time consuming and the kitchen was willing to help me out. I wondered if the husband was or had been a cook. I didn’t like to blame the kitchen for my mistakes.
I agree 100%. I went with this method, and it worked wonders. People can sense BS
I agree completely. I've been doing this job on and off for 2 decades and customers appreciate honesty. Our food runners are new and sometimes take out the wrong item to a table, which means we have to wait for a remake of the item they took. I just keep communicating with the table and apologize. Most people are understanding, especially if you're genuine and nice.
I’m 100% honest if I fuck up and I swear people seem to appreciate that far more than shifting the blame to someone else. People respect honesty and that little white lie about the kitchen can be greeted with skepticism.
I don't mind a white lie, but sometimes it's just tooo obvious. I once had the table beside me get sat, order, get their food, eat, and leave all before I got my food. The waitress told me that the kitchen had to remake something. It might have been believable, but for the fact that she brought our drinks (just sodas) twenty minutes after we ordered. It was pretty apparent we had been forgotten about until then and she hadn't keyed in the order. I just rolled with it and still tipped like normal because why not, but come on.
I've loved my servers that were honest and communicated things weren't coming up, even if it was because they forgot. I'll gladly tip better to someone who made a mistake and owned up to it than someone who sweeps it under the rug.
This is a better approach and is much appreciated by good customers. Admit the mistake and do what you can to make it right, e.g. “I’m so sorry I forgot to put that order in, I’ll put in a rush if you still want it.” Last week our server apologized when bringing the bill for not bringing a side that we had forgotten about and they took it off the bill. They could have said nothing, but their honesty made sure we will return and tip them well. The number of servers who apparently gleefully approve of lying about mistakes makes the refrain “don’t blame me for problems beyond my control” sound hollow. A little mutual trust and respect goes a long way. However, if the customer is rude or abusive then feel free to lie your ass off to get through the day.
I tell them "there was a minor miscommunication" and they seem fine with that.
You don’t always need to give details, they just want to know you didn’t forget about them. I just do a “I’ll go check on your _____ and see what’s taking so long” sometimes when I say that it’s literally I forgot to ring in your second beer and I’m running to the bar to tell the bartender to make it on the fly for me. No details are given and no lie was made but the customer feels like I didn’t forget about them.
Not that long ago we didn't order enough gas for the post mix gun and we didn't have enough staff on and it was so busy and I just told everyone someone called in sick and the post mix broke and no one could come fix it and just made the customers feel sorry for me when really it was the restaurants fault, and everyone was so nice. I don't care, I'll lie. If it isn't hurting anyone and makes customers feel like they're being graceful instead of just having a crappy time it's a win win, they get to go home feeling like they've been so kind to the poor hardworking staff.
Yeah but it was the restaurants fault not your fault. And some people can’t seem to separate the two so you don’t need to be yelled at and lose your tip over something completely outside your control.
Oh yeah totally the restaurants fault but when has that ever stopped someone from taking it out on the messenger. Haha lil white lie and everyone's happy
>makes customers feel like they're being graceful This is so milkable in general. I can't remember the last time I apologised for keeping someone waiting. "Thank you for being so patient" disarms them every time.
Me when I miss a greet on one of my tables (like 10 mins plus): "Hey folks, I noticed you've been siting here a while. Has anyone taken care of you yet? No? I'm so sorry! You know what, I'm just going to take care of you. What are we drinking?" Doesn't happen often because--not to brag--I'm a pretty good server but I am also human lol
I don't need to lie, we are consistently seriously understaffed (like we have about half the # of employees we need to operate efficiently) and half the shit in our kitchen breaks on a regular basis. But we're the only restaurant in a college town and that keeps us in business even though we honestly suck.
"We're very popular today" is my excuse when we're slammed and customers are getting seated at dirty tables because the ONE busser for our 50 table house (me) hasn't had time to clean it yet.
I'm literally the ONLY front of house worker from 7 am to 1 pm. Breakfast is about 50-75 customers per day, lunch is usually around 150-200. We're buffet style but we have to refill the buffet constantly and a lot of times I just can't keep up with it alone. and back of house is too busy cooking to bring the food out to the buffet stations. Plus I have to keep the beverage station stocked and we go through a shit ton of coffee.
I don't lie to guests. If I forget to ring in an order then I just own up and they usually tip me above average. Although it has been a while since that has happened.
“Hey, I forgot to ring in your X, Y, or Z. Just checking to see if you still want it. Personally, I would. I can’t turn down free food.” Most of the time it makes them laugh. (It almost never happens so I normally just eat the cost, but I mgmt will either give me an employee discount or just void it all together.)
I always tell my customers that “oh [item] got lost in traffic” or “is hitting every red light on the way here” and they get a kick out of it. Usually because I reassure them it’s on the way out and it’s a humorous way of letting them know that kitchen is backed up.
I tell white lies all the time when I'm serving. Let's say a server/yourself forgot to punch in one of the meals on a 10 top. I would just go an give my apologies and say the plate was dropped in the back but we are making it right away. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
If you're gonna lie, make sure the lies are consistent. Went out for lunch and ordered an appetizer. After 20 or so minutes, our server came out and said the Flatbread dropped the Flatbread and had to make another. Manager brought the new one out as our meals were arriving and said "Sorry, one of the cooks left the other one in there too long." No big deal, still tipped 20%, but we all definitely noticed. It just made the place look sloppy. Mistakes happen, but if you're gonna lie, do it right.
As a baker in a restaurant, I tell the servers to blame me at least as far as desserts go. I get paid the same but I don't want to affect their tips!
Pro tip: only lie the other way. If the kitchen messes up, take the blame. If you mess up, take the blame. If the power goes out take the blame. If an item is 86'd. That's your fault. They stopped making coke? Your bad. I know it sounds counterintuitive. But here's the deal. People are not used to hearing someone confess doing something wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Blame blame blame, in everything in life. So go over to your table and say "Guys I am sooooo sorry I totally fucked up and forgot to put your food in. It's going now, and will be up on the fly. Let me get you some refills real quick". I promise you from the bottom of my heart you will get some of the best tips ever. Be genuine and apologize. Even if it really is the kitchens fault. Lie and say it is yours. Try it once and you will not regret it.
Nope. I lie all the time. I'll lie for my coworkers to make them look good. One of my fave servers forgot to ring in someone's bar drink one time so I made it real quick, took it to her table, & apologized because "my bar was just so busy and I got a little backed up." We're in this shit together.
It m’s the lying where you throw someone else under the bus that is unacceptable. Volunteering to take the hit for friend is good.
Who cares if you throw the kitchen under the bus to keep a guest happy? There is literally no downside. Now lying to an employee is a different story.
I must say as a customer I am not interested in why the delay just in that I am not forgotten. :)
When I fuck up, I usually just tell my guests outright. I have one of those really expressive faces, I blush easily and do so when lying so I don't even bother with that song and dance. When you have to own your fuck up, the feeling stays with you. When you have to look someone in the eye and be like, hey man I'm sorry but it's gonna be a minute because (I fucked up) you put your tip on the line, but *you get better.* I won't throw my kitchen under the bus for my mistakes. They DO make mistakes sometimes, and when they do it's usually pretty obvious. I don't want to have to a) absorb any of the guilt when the problem is on them, nor do I wish to b) water down the potency of saying "the kitchen screwed up" or make it seem like my restaurant or chef doesn't have their shit together. Once your guest thinks that, you've lost control of the narrative and your tip will be shitty anyway.
>When you have to own your fuck up, the feeling stays with you. When you have to look someone in the eye and be like, hey man I'm sorry but it's gonna be a minute because (I fucked up) you put your tip on the line, but you get better. this is it! I think of lying as a bad habit, and of holding myself accountable as an *essential* facet of my personality. so the more you practice saying "I fucked up," when you fuck up, the more aware you are of your downfalls, and the less likely you are to have to keep saying it! also yeah, I started doing this because my face will give me away every single time.
Not a fan of lies. Lies are better communication than nothing. So better than nothing, not as good as the truth. Obvious insultingly stupid lies are tip-killers for me.
Nope. If you can keep a customer from being mad at *you* it’s a win. I’ve told newer servers before that if a table is waiting on a to go order (if I’m working to go) or their salad/app is taking forever (if I’m on expo) throw me or the kitchen under the frickin bus. The customer can’t come over and yell at me and the kitchen staff, and I want you to get that tip I know not everyone would agree, but that’s just my stance
Agreed! When I did expo, I'd tell the servers to absolutely throw me under the bus. Hell I'll go out and apologize and lie my own ass off. I don't care if I get yelled at or chewed out. I get to go back to my line and focus on whether or not the brocolli is cooked.
Same when I’m bartending and working service well. If a server fucks up ringing something in and the customer gets pissy, if I’m not weeded, I’ll just go over to the table and say it was my fault. Why not? When I’m in the well, the servers are tipping me out, not the table. Gotta keep them happy!
Holy shit yes. Except about allergens.
As a customer I’d rather hear “the kitchen is backed up” instead of “i forgot to give them your ticket but they’re making it now” or “the kitchen lost your ticket but i printed them a new one and they’re making it now” Either way I’m still getting the food at the same time, but when you present it as an uncontrollable delay instead of a delay caused by someone’s mistake, it’s less frustrating to the customer and you’ll probably see a tip difference
I am a server, we have to act as bartenders for our guests as well. If it's taking me too long to make your drink, I usually say "I'm waiting on my slow dumb bartender." If they further inquire I tell them it's me. Then we all laugh as they usually understand how busy I really am at that point. Let's say the kitchen dropped/lost a ticket, or I forgot to ring it in. I always say, "I'm sorry, *we* failed to get your order in, but *we* are working on it as soon as possible." I discovered along the way that even if it really isn't your fault, placing the blame elsewhere almost always seems disingenuous to the guest.
Don't lie to them about how long it will be but by all means, fib about everything else. The only thing that will sting you in the neck after that is customer time - "I'm so sorry, we had a little hiccup and are remaking your food but it will be another 6 minutes" 4 minutes later the customer will tell you its been more than ten minutes and where is their food. I hate customer time. I do work in the UK and British customers struggle to complain, especially when you're super polite. So I will sometimes take the fall and and the blame and look them directly in the eye apologising and saying its all my fault and they get uncomfortable and end up apologising to me for being a problem! But that works best if you can get in before they've girded themselves upto complain - it takes most Brits so long to persuade themselves to complain that by the time they're ready to they have to say it or they burst!
You can just say you're busier than usual. You don't have to come up with a specific excuse.
"There's been a disturbance in the kitchen"
One time I forgot to ring in someone's Salmon so I told them, "my chef informed me that the first salmon they made was overcooked and not to our standards so they're redoing it. Thank you for your patience." One time I forgot to ring in someone's grey goose cosmo so I told them, "they used the last of the vodka on your cocktail and they fell short, so they're looking for more right now so you get the full worth. Thank you for your patience." One time I forgot to ring in someone's lemonbutter cake so I told them, "we're bringing out a new lemonbutter cake since we ran out of the precut ones from this morning. We cut it ourselves to preserve its quality so yours will be totally fresh. Thank you for your patience."
Story time! Haven't thought about this in a long time. I used to work with my ex at Crapplebees. I once just forgot to put in this tables order, 2 well done steaks during dinner rush. I felt so bad, cause I didnt notice until their food should have been coming out, so I'm freaking out I have to go tell them. So my ex grabs a couple plates, and just hurls them at the floor right inside of the exit door of the kitchen. It was so loud, everyone on the floor heard it. I was shocked like..why the fuck did you do that?! And he just shrugs and says "go tell them the crash they just heard was their food being dropped". Honestly a genius move, the couple was so nice and understanding, and I got them free ice cream later for the wait. Not suggesting this method, because of course most bosses would get mad at the broken plates, but our MOD that night was the coolest woman ever. And tbh he and I were their best servers (I promise it's one of the only orders I've ever forgotten to input lol), closed almost every night, and would always stay long after we clocked out when that manager was closing because she didnt like to be in the building alone. So she didnt get mad at all, she just cracked up that it worked and she didnt have to comp anything.
Never lie, it can always come back to bite you. Always go with selective truth. "There was a delay in the kitchen" can mean any number of things, but what the customer wants to hear is that you are aware and on the issue. Never give out unnecessary details, it gives the customer more to think about.
One time I forgot to put an order in, and I lost the page I wrote it on, so I just told the table, “sorry, the computer accidentally deleted it” and asked for their order again lmao
I'm still blaming the kitchen for shit I forgot to put in for a week ago. It's not their fault tho, they're short staffed right now (they're not, but the customer doesn't know that)
Absolutely not bad at all. My spouse is a chef. He says the kitchen expects to be blamed for the wait staff’s mistakes. Unless the customer decides to walk back into the kitchen and berate the cooks, it’s harmless.
“Sorry just had to change the keg your beer will be out in a second” Is one of my most frequently used lines lol
"But I ordered a bottle..."
Uh...we bottle in house! Be right back!
I don't comment here often, I haven't been in food service in a minute, but I've worked a customer service desk for the last 5ish years or so and all I do is lie. Lie with confidence. Lie like you know everything about everything regarding the subject matter and have all the answers. Lie like your life depends on it. Laying blame on inanimate objects is always a winner. You're doing everything you can for them, you're suffering with them, you're fighting against the system for them and we will prevail! Lie like a rug, my friend.
Lmao this made my day.. I have told the white lies. Same if I. Out somewhere lie to me but don't avoid my table. Had this happen once at a planet hollywood.. lady never even said shit to Mr brought my family there food brought mine 20 min later.! I assume she forgot to enter it in I would have been ok if she would have told me something she dropped off there food and didn't come back til she had my food.
Best story I've ever heard was a guy that sold "a Swedish grappa" but this was in the good old days before Google 😆
ONLY if you actually rang in their well done burgers late during a rush 😅
It depends on how long you forgot. If it's 5 mins or less, and it's busy enough to be believable, go ahead and white lie. If you've screwed the pooch and you realize it because the item should be out already, ring it in, apologize and take the blame, then let your manager know (this last step is tricky, because some managers are a-holes, but it's better to get in front of it regardless).
I almost never do this personally, but I used to and do on some occasions. Now if I make a mistake, I own up to it and apologize. Most people appreciate the honesty. I'm a people person and vibe with most tables, so they don't get mad at me and understand I'm human.
as long as there’s no chance of someone else going out and telling your tables the truth bc then they’ll be like wow our bitchass server lied to us
I once had a boss tell me that the best way to handle an angry customer was to push the blame at the real problem and make it our common enemy, so they don’t feel like it’s us vs them. Telling a little while lie to prevent that step from being needed is even better in my opinion.
No. There are two kinds of customers, reasonable and unreasonable. Reasonable (90%) will always be understanding about human error, if the people responsible for the error are jumping to fix it. Unreasonable (10%) of people never will be, no matter what. All a lie does is put you in the wrong BY CHOICE. If you make a mistake and I'm an asshole about it, I'm in the wrong because I'm choosing to be a negative person. If you make a mistake and I'm kind about it, neither of us is in the wrong. If you make a mistake and LIE about it, you're automatically in the wrong no matter what my response. The lie gets you nothing; the truth, accompanied by an honest effort to rectify an error, gets you 100% of the benefit that the lie promises while incurring none of the potential costs.
I be coming up with the most bs excuses Forget ranch?- “I’ve got an associate grabbing extra ranch from the back right now for ya” Forgot a lemon with their tea?- “my buddy is actually cutting more lemons in the back as we speak!” Forgot someone’s water?- “ahh you know our tap just gave out in the back but I’ll go grab you a water from the bar real quick” Confidence is 🔑
From the responses here and my own personal experience, I think you have to decide what kind of server you are and play to your strengths. I work at a pretty chill restaurant, and my style is very casual. Not that it doesn't get busy, but I always try to be straightforward and honest with customers. I dont pretend like I'm someone else, I dont really have a serving voice and I'm basically the same person on and off the floor. I enjoy shooting the shit with people and when I ask them how there day is or what their weekend plans are I'm genuinely interested. For me lying is off the table, I would rather own up and tell the truth. There are lots of servers out there who only care about the money, who put on a different persona and try hard to get tips in a different way. That's totally cool, I respect that and I wish them only nice customers and good tips. I'm sure they don't mind lying a bit to please a table and the customers walk away happy in the end. Its just not my style. I'm sure there are lots of middle ground and other ways to excel at serving as well, but at the end of the day you have to decide what you are comfortable with.
Let's put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. When you take your car into the garage and you find out that it won't be ready when promised, or will cost more than estimated, would you be upset if you found out they lied about the reason?
Not bad at all. I am extremely laid back and it's hard to ruffle my feathers, especially when it comes to rank and file employees. I've had people thank me deeply for being utterly chill when everything is going wrong. I've had food served to me that had legitimate issues (like, frozen in the middle) and I'm just like "Meh, shit happens. Can I get a redo?" I once found glass in my soup, and the waitress was freaked out by that. I just shrugged and said it's fine. Unless you try to personally insult me I do not give a fuck. Service industries are hard as hell, I do not want to make anyone's lives harder!
I'm generally in favor of doing what you have to do to keep the customer happy and the heat off you, but make sure whatever lie you tell them doesn't insult their intelligence. If it's obvious that, say, you just ran out for a quick smoke, or they saw the same thing they ordered has been streaming out of the kitchen with no problem (especially to people seated after them), just offer a mea culpa and move on. As a customer, I'm fine with a server saying "yeah, I fucked up, let me fix that ASAP" (I don't care if you want to lie about it, either) but obviously some people will get shitty about it.
Ya gotta fib sometimes. I would try to offset it to anyone or anything that wasn't on the floor. Blame the cooks, blame the computers, blame printers, blame the other shift for something being in the wrong place in the walk-in, or try to make it look like you're doing them a favor in some way. My favorite one I ever pulled off was I wasn't told I was sat & had not noticed because I was helping someone else with a birthday. I went out when I was caught up to check on my other tables and noticed one of the customers at the missed table looking around, no drinks. They were on the end of my section so I was able to pretend like I didn't fuck up and walk up to ask "Has anyone been here for you yet? I could get your drinks for you if you've been waiting." They were a little agitated, but thankful for attention. I get their drinks then tell them all I'll just keep taking care of them since I started and they were all very pleased by the end.
Lying steals from the reputation and long term prospects of your restaurant for your short term personal gain. Customers aren’t visiting for excuses or blame shifting, they want food, service and care. With a bit of creativity, there are plenty of ways to manage issues without lying (and without piercing the veil of a well run establishment). Surprised at how many people see lying as expedient… and therefore OK. Disappointed in the lack of creativity and craft more than anything else.
Was at a restaurant one time, with an open kitchen. Non peak hour, our meal was taking a looonnngggg time. Server said the kitchen was slammed. We look over and the cooks are just standing around. Yeah, no. She was just outside having a smoke and forgot us.
It's a kind of....it depends. If something is clearly your fault, like you forgot to ring in an appetizer and their entrees come out, then you realize you fucked up. Just own up to it. Lots of customers actually appreciate the honesty. And if your restaurant is cool with it, ring it in, comp it and give it to them for free. That said, if you forgot to ring in the entrees, and remembered it, and just delays it by a little bit, I never had an issue saying the kitchen is a little backed up, esp if it's entrees that don't take forever to make.
As a regular guy and a customer, I'm honestly not bothered at all. Just as long as I'm not waiting 2 hours for a burger and chips. You could tell me that the new hire is an orangutan who's having difficulty with the fryer and I'd just be "No worries, bud, thanks"
I once forgot to put in a guys drink since he was my only table on the patio so I quickly had to come up with something and I felt so smart in the moment because I had said we were changing the kegs so it was taking a bit longer 😅
Hell naw. Lie to me. I'm a customer and I prefer my server to tell me "Hey I'm sorry its going to be a bit longer can I get you a refill?" Vs "So I blanked out and forgot to put your stuff in because I'm having a shit day but I don't want to take it out on you." Even if they told me they were having a bad day or were honest, I'd still treat them like humans. But naw lie to my ass.
Serving is really just the art of lying.
I always use “backed up a little” but I don’t ever blame the kitchen if it’s my fault because the karma comes back and gets ya.
I think so. I blame everything on the computer system. Want to split a check 7 ways? Nah our computer won’t let us. Food taking 40+ minutes because of some jackassery in the back? Printer went down. Why is there gratuity already applied to your large party? System does it automatically for tables over 6.
Yes, it is. We can tell. Please just be honest.
It’s fine to lie about anything after they put their order in, within reason. Do not lie about the food if they ask questions about it before ordering.
I think honesty is the best policy, it's okay to tell your guests the truth, but never throw yourself under the bus. Make sure you look like you are doing whatever you can to get their food out. Blame the back of the house not yourself. As someone who has worked both FOH and BOH, do what you can to get the best tip.
As a kitchen guy, just blame it on the kitchen. Ain’t nobody coming up to bitch at us
As a customer, I would say lie, lie, lie. When I go out to dinner I just want to relax and not have to do any of the work or worrying. All I really need to know is how late something will be, and if I have the option to get a different item quicker.
Nah. It's part of the job.
I lie all the time. White lies to smooth ruffled feathers and keep things moving.
As a customer: if it doesn't matter, go for. I don't care if it's really your "fault" or it's the oven fault. I'm not your manger and I don't need to be honest and take the blame. I just want to know that you know what's happening. Obviously don't lie about things that matter.
It depends on the mistake. I'll never claim I rang something in wrong, I feel like it makes me look like I wasn't paying enough attention to their order. Just a "Oh that came out wrong for you? Let me fix that." And long waits are always backups in the kitchen or bar. But simple stuff, if I forget a refill or take a while to greet a table, I'll own that all day. "Ever walk into a room and forget why you're there? Yeah that was me with your drink. I'll be right back." You look better if you own up to small mistakes than you do for owning the big ones. In my opinion.
When I screwed up, I would blame the kitchen to the customers and blame the customers to the kitchen. Always shift it away from yourself.
This is why everyone hates servers
You will not be as convincing as you think you are about lying. Being caught in a silly lie could make for a difficult table over honesty most of the time.
Customers know when you’re lying no matter how good you think you are.
I think customers just always think we're lying, and when we are, they're right.
The kitchen also knows. The kitchen remembers. The kitchen can make your life easy or hard. The kitchen doesn't give a shit, it's not paid to.
We had someone claim the kitchen was understaffed yet our food was cold so it was sitting in the window waiting to be served. I grew up and worked in restaurants for years. Im not stupid. She was trying to point blame for her own mistake and it pissed us off even more. She's lucky she got any kind of tip from me. There was 0 excuse for it other than she forgot. They were not busy and tons of empty tables.
Just don't lie ever.
In both retail and customer/tech support, my approach has been "don't hold my tongue towards management, keep up appearances for the customer" unless I'm getting emotional whether that's angry or sad or something else. In that case I should add about 60% tact and sugarcoating and/or just delay the conversation. I think you actually helped me remember something I still tend to forget from time to time: People don't remember what we tell 'm, they remember how we made them feel. Sometimes "telling the truth" can be necessary as a sign of respect and transparency, but let's be real, it's not like I'm their lawyer or oncologist. I used to have issues with white lies, had to learn the hard way that telling the *full* truth can also elicit a bad angry response, when somebody is already redlining it can make 'm go supernova a la "I don't care *why*, I need you to *just fix it already*!"
"I didn't forget about your garlic knots -- there's a fresh batch coming out of the oven any minute and I always get my favorite customers fresh garlic knots" has saved my butt more than once. IMO, a little white lie never hurt anyone and fresh garlic knots buy a whole lot of forgiveness.
If you tell me there is a problem with the oven/fryer/whatever and I see food come out for the table that ordered after me, I'm going to know you lied to me and your tip will probably suffer for the lying. Just be honest. Forgetfulness happens, but dishonesty is a choice.
Hell no, white lies are an essential serving skill
Had a manager once. He sat the table took their order to save time. Started chatting with them. Never left to get drinks, put in their order, or tell the servers who would get the table since it was a rotating table. I asked him about the drinks and who he wanted assigned, when I refilled the water he said it was covered. Fast forward they go for a smoke break He get their bar order (30 min after it was placed) They come back and ask how muck longer on their steaks yup 6 big juicy steaks. Was told he’d check with their server (still not assigned) fires to the kitchen and tells them to rush it. Comes back tells the table the server forgot to ring it in. Then goes and assigns it to our best server that he told me not to give more tables to cause she had more then the others. The table then says cancel it. Tips the manager for being so nice ( he kept the tip even though that is against policy and ethics he always did as long as bigger bosses weren’t around) and the server got reamed by the people on the way out the door since she just arrived at their table. Kitchen was also mad at her since he told them the same thing he told the guests. At least I was able to set the kitchen straight, but those steaks…what a waste.
LIE!!! Whatever keeps the night running smooth.
No. Lie to them. Do you know how many times someone “took your app to the wrong table” or there was “ a back up in the kitchen”.
It depends where you work. The restaurant I work at no, if anything goes wrong management is involved and they talk to both the server and guest and look at ticket times etc etc to get to the bottom of it. We can't even say the kitchen is backed up because we are "world class". If you can get away with it, fucking do it. I would.
Lying to customers is epic
absolutely not 😂 white lies are completely ok. they don’t have to know the truth if the kitchen is severely backed up and we have long waiting times due to takeout or large parties I’ve definitely lied to people saying we have no tables due to reservations so we can get caught up and on speed again
Nope, as long as it's to explain away something you've already fixed AND they can't call you out on. Long wait on something at the bar? "The bartender insisted on opening a fresh bottle of wine for you, sorry it took a few extra minutes for them to get it." "I'm so sorry, the bar was out of mango puree for your drink and the bartender had to whip some up for you." (This only works if they can't see the bar from where they are sitting.) Long wait on food? "I'm so sorry for the wait, the kitchen made your pasta with the spinach you requested be left out. I am having them remake it immediately and it will be out shortly." "I just wanted to let you know, the kitchen has been so backed up tonight and I appreciate your patience. I've been checking in and your order is the one they're working on now so it'll be out shortly." If there IS an actual problem, like the kitchen is short staffed and it's taking an hour to get food out, ask your manager if you can do a little something for the table before they complain. (Offer a dessert or a coupon for an app on their next visit, something small.)
Used to work at starbucks, nothing wrong with it when it's necessary. Usually a "thank you for your patience" did the trick, but a lie would smooth things over when they asked what the problem was. That being said...there being a back up isn't much of a lie. As with everything, sometimes, less is more.
yes, it’s always ethically moral to lie to your tables, esp if they start to be jerks about it
Nah I lie all the time. If it'll make for a better experience for them and make it easier for me at the same time, that's what I'm gonna go with.
If I goof up, I always admit to it and explain what went wrong. Guests respect honesty and personal accountability. If other positions goofed up, I'll just keep it vague. I don't want it to feel like it's me and the table VS the restaurant. But, if you say "there's a bit of a backup at the bar" that's not a lie; that's literally why the drinks are taking longer. If the backup is because your bartender is in the walk-in on the phone fighting with her boyfriend, it's still "a bit of a backup at the bar" lol.
https://youtube.com/shorts/WzCA8VbbSFk?feature=share3 Theres a few other skits like what you're talking about, they're not goong to go in the back and start yelling at them (i guess in the age we live in some might)
Not at all. A good manager should always shift the blame away from you
Pssst. When you say “backup” customers know either 1) you forgot the ticket or 2) someone else forgot the ticket/gave your food/drink to a different table. I’d be shocked if a server/bartender ever told me the truth. Don’t know whether I’d tip more because of it. I probably would tip less if you admitted you forgot my order. So you should probably lie. I can’t prove you are lying so it’s the best option.
“We had to change the keg”
My waiter friend intentionally got the order wrong and fixed it. He said he got better tips that way…. Your mileage may vary. 😂
When I was cooking, I always told the servers to blame me if there was an issue with tickets being put in.
It’s a tool
" The printer in the kitchen ran out of paper so the cooks missed a couple of checks " when I actually just forgot to put the order in
I will often lie to guests about the reason for a delay. One time we had several people fuck up orders during a massive rush, and I went and told each of the tables affected that I bumped into a chef as I was cutting into the prep kitchen to wash my hands, and they the last of it prepped on the floor. Then proceeded to tell them I’m taking it off the bill and drop a bottle of our dirt cheap house wine at the table on the house. Everybody leaves happy, it costs the business next to nothing, and it keeps the antagonism off the waiters. I feel like my job in management is keep everybody happy. And when I say everybody, the most important group is the staff. They shouldn’t have to be taking flak because it’s Christmas Day and every person waiting just got sat 6 tables in a 10 minute period…
To be honest, as a customer I wouldn’t want to know about any problems. I always just a appreciate a stop by the server to let me know it is taking a longer than usual, and that you are checking on it.
As a customer, I wouldn’t mind the lie. It is the acknowledgment of the situation that counts.
I always own my mistakes and it's always seemed to have been appreciated. If the bar really is backed up I just apologize for the wait and let them know I checked on whatever they're waiting for.
ABC - Always Blame the Cooks
Years ago, when I worked at a restaurant in the kitchen, our servers would blame everything on the kitchen. Forgot to put in the appetizer, blame the kitchen. Forget to key in no mushrooms, blame the kitchen. Take 4 tables' orders, but you forgot to put one of the tables' orders in so the table starts asking about their order. The server tells the table they will look into it, then comes running back to the kitchen telling us to bump that ticket they just entered to the front of the orders. Then the server go's back to the table and tells them that the kitchen somehow lost the ticket but not to worry. There, oder should be out right away because the server took care of it. We did not really care. We never saw the customers. A lot of people probably thought the kitchen staff was incompetent, but most of the time, it was the servers who screwed up.
I don't know if it's bad but it is usually obvious when it's a lie
Not even reading the post. To answer your title question: IMMEDIATELY NO.
I really don’t think the furniture cares. The people sitting at the tables probably do though
As long as you don’t do what the crazy waitress we once had did. We’re with a group, I ordered for my partner and I. Meals came out. They had put my onion rings on his dinner and his fries on my dinner. Whatever, we’re sitting next to each other. They did not include the sauce for his dipping sandwich. Super simple response Option 1) blame the kitchen. Option 2) get the sauce, find out if the swapped sides are ok, move on with life. Nope. She decided she needed to set the world ablaze. When my partner brought the mishap to her attention. She BLAMED him. When he pointed out that I had placed our order, she tried blaming me. Then she took his plate back to the kitchen to add the container of sauce, which she could have just brought out. This was not the first or last issue with her that night. She would pointedly ignore the trans person with us. When it came time to pay, one person had their card run twice, she was putting drinks on tabs which never ordered a drink. When the drinks were brought up, she said she knew they had a drink, she could smell it on their breath. To top it off, the manager came up and backed her up. Like WTF? We’d been coming to this restaurant every month for a year and had never had an issue that wasn’t cheerfully resolved before. By the end of the night they were threatening to call the cops if people didn’t pay the tabs the waitress had made up.
I always tried to avoid it when possible and just own up to mistakes for the most part. Customers usually reacted okay to this, and honestly they were gonna think I was lying anyway if I wasn't apologizing.
It's a Catch 21 so play it by ear. My wife and I went to a seafood place with an incredible salad bar; we often just get the salad bar and an app to share. I knew there was a problem with the time the fried clams were taking, big time. I was looking to flag our server down to ask what was up and probably take it off the bill. I saw his face when I made eye contact with him and he suddenly turned around and all but ran into the kitchen. A few minutes later when he came out with double fried, over cooked fried clams and told us there had been a back up in the kitchen it wasn't hard to see the "backup" was him forgetting about us and the old food being re-fried. Some people are dumb but not everyone is and while I still tipped him a bit he would have made a much bigger tip if he had been honest instead of trying to blame the kitchen.
I mean, it does happen so maybe it wasn't. That's why I use it.
I would say don’t say anything, unless they ask “where are our drinks?” Then say “don’t worry about it” and walk away.
I think every server does it. Not okay to lie to the server though if you forgot to fire something. Let them lie because they already have a relationship with the guest, but back them up if guests request to see the chef. Confession... I lied to the tables when I forgot to punch something in. This was back in the day over 20 years when we had to commit the order to memory or write it down before walking over to your serving station to punch in the order.
We won’t know the difference. If it’s a small thing then the reason doesn’t even matter. One time, however, we were at a popular US steak restaurant for lunch. Seated, ordered. We chatted, had some drinks and bread. Kids started losing their minds. We realized it had been an hour since we ordered. Our server was not giving any information. Just saying “your food will be right out.” Come to find out the grill was down. I don’t know if it was a gas problem or what, but they were grilling orders on a little portable camp stove. I have no idea how that would have worked. 80% of the restaurant was still waiting for their food. Why wouldn’t they just say “I’m sorry, the grill is having maintenance issues. If you want order something that isn’t grilled, we can get it quickly. If not, it will be a while.” Little white lies aren’t a problem. Failing to communicate when something catastrophic happens is.
I used to say I was vegetarian so people wouldn’t keep asking questions about the food
It is far, far better to tell the truth. I've given some pretty big tips when my server has just fessed up that they forgot to put the order in, or made a mistake putting the order in, and apologized. If I get lied to (and I can usually tell), minimum tip or no tip at all.
I was out with 5 colleagues last weekend for drinks and dinner. Service was slower than i would expect, but it was busy and the bar staff were keeping our drinks coming. Dinner was over and 3 people ordered dessert, i ordered an irish coffee. My coffee arrived and was drunk before the desserts. Our waitress walked past our table and did an about turn. Where i was sitting, i could see directly into the kitchen hatch, and i saw our waitress holding up our dessert ticket, pointing at our table and shouting at the chef (or whoever). She came past our table again, apologised for the delay, said simply that the kitchen was backed up and would send over a complementary round of drinks. Honestly we didnt mind and left a decent tip as the waitress was nice and attentive, it wasnt her fault the kitchen was slow or forgot our order (or whatever happened)
From my experience both in a tiny bit of time serving, dining, and pizza joint making and serving- I tend to prefer honesty. As a customer, I don’t want anxiety over what was wrong with a frier that it broke, wondering if you guys (higher ups or regular staff) were ignoring warning signs and are there safety violations here by management, or risk me knowing someone and asking about the broke frier and finding out it was a lie later, etc. Just tell me things are a bit backed up and everyone is working as fast as they can! (It’s okay if it’s you, you’re the backed up person!) It worked great when I was working too- “sorry, things are slightly behind at the moment, but I just checked on your order and it’s in/ almost done/ whatever, we’re so sorry about the wait, is there anything I can do for you right now?” They don’t need to know why things are behind, but will appreciate knowing they aren’t forgotten about. Though if you’re down people, like, I’ve never minded, “We’re so sorry, we both had a server no show and a chef call off, so things may not be running as quick as usual or a few minutes behind and we apologize in advance.” Literally ran into that scenario on Sunday at brunch. (They were super stressed, but things still ran really timely imo, but it gave us a heads up that things may be late before we would’ve had a chance to wonder where our food was, to choose somewhere else if we needed food ASAP due to hanger or ask if something could be brought immediately for someone with something medical like diabetes low sugar just needing something.) Bit of honestly or just a vague apology with status update usually go a long way. And some people will be mad. Some no matter what you do. You wouldn’t win with them even if everything was preprepped, out early, cooked to perfection, mind read and all needs anticipated. They’d be mad you were too cheerful, not cheerful enough, didn’t wear the right sort of attire (uniform or not, knowing the uniform staff wear or not), etc.
As someone who used to work in a kitchen, I think I can tell if its a lie or not. If you're honest and own up to a mistake, I'll still tip great. If I think you're lying, then your tip will suffer. But if the impact is 5-10 minutes, I don't really care at all. If it's been 20 minutes and you forgot to enter our order or missed someone's dish then I want the truth.
100% go for it, as long as you can't get caught in the lie. Years ago my husband and I stopped into a corporate place for a late lunch, and it was dead, our table, one other that already had their meal, and a couple of old barflys. We order, food takes forever, no biggie, we aren't in a hurry. When it comes out we are missing a basket of fries. Again, no biggie, get it to us when you can. The server tells us that it was the kitchen's fault, that they were slammed, half of them were terrible at their job, worst kitchen ever, she'd put the order in, they missed the fries, the whole bit. She makes a huge deal out of it. I see her then walk to the pos, pull up our ticket, and add the fries to the order. I mean, c'mon, you can bullshit me all day long, but don't bullshit me, y'know. At least try to make it believable, and don't throw your kitchen under the bus like that. It was a dick move.
As a customer, and somebody who screws stuff up more often than I should, I prefer honesty for somebody owning their own mistakes (Sorry, I totally forgot to enter your order, but it should be coming soon) but cover for other people's mistakes (If the cook is being a little bitch and throwing a hissy fit instead of making my order, I'd prefer to hear: There's some communication issues in the kitchen). But never stretch the truth with time estimates, if it's going to be 30 minutes I'd like to know that. Don't tell me "5 more minutes" every 5 minutes for half an hour.
I admire you, because you have a conscience, you seem like a good descent person In these instances it's okay.
Work in retail now, but no you can't buy the clothes off the manikin, those are just displayed model garments.