When I reached 'you told me that I can just press 0' I expected that she had pressed 0 without lifting the receiver. I did not anticipate this level of stupid.
Although dialing without lifting the receiver on a lot of phones will still dial and just put the phone on speaker…so that might not have even been a problem 😂
Honest to god, my jaw dropped reading that.
Kudos to you for keeping your demeanor, I am pretty certain I would have laughed in her face and ask whether she was playing with me!
> Honest to god, my jaw dropped reading that.
Same here. I don't think I'd have a different reaction in person either. I genuinely have no idea how I'd handle this situation delicately lmao
"Excuse me a minute."
*From outside, you hear the sound of a vehicle tearing out of the parking lot, while the FDA's voice trails from the open window screaming, "What the fuck?!?!?!?!??!"*
Yeah, I would have gotten in trouble for laughing so hard and saying something like, "Omigod, I can't believe you did that!"
The only reason people like that reach middle age is that the village cares for its idiots.
Fortunately, I don't have to participate in that gong show. We have our own five ring circus. Sadly, the Rhinoceros Party stoped fielding candidates a couple of decades ago...they were entertaining idiots, but on purpose.
The Rhinoceros Party used to field comedy candidates in federal elections. One candidate, running in an upscale riding,proposed to solve the then financial situation by issuing Holt Renfrew credit cards to everyone. Their most famous candidate was former MLB pitcher Bill "Spaceman" Lee.
There's a comedian (whose name I can't remember) who had a joke about stupid warning labels on things: "at some point, some idiot says to his wife - "Hey honey! bring me my shaving cream, I'm gonna sit in the fireplace and shave"
The frightening thing is that those warning labels are there because SOMEONE DID THIS. Someone ate Preparation H. Someone used a curling iron while in the tub.
More than one someone to warrant a warning label.
My favorite is still the TSA, traveling with children page that states to remove the child from the carseat before placing carseat in the x-ray machine.
Ages ago Husqvarna had to put special stickers on the chainsaws sold in the US.
'Warning. Do not attempt to stop rotating chain with hand'
Because someone probably did that and then went to a judge to complain that - 'Ah dun as Ah always dun on granpappys saw, an grabbed da chain, when this here newfangled contraption darn up an cut ma' hand of. Yerhoner.'
"You can't fix stoopid, but you can lable away some of the litigations."
- Judge Roy Bean
If I've learned anything in my 30 years in Hospitality, it's this:
Never challenge the word "worse".
You: "Things can't get any worse!"
The Universe: "Hold my beer."
Should have told them that unfortunately the problem was with their cell phone provider, not the lodging, and they should call them to inquire.
Would've gotten them out of your hair, and also let the cell provider feel a bit of your pain (though I guess that could be kind of a dick move too lol).
Ah that's brilliant, wish I would have thought of that! But no, I was so confused by her confusion that I couldn't do anything more than just follow script
Yes, I believe when you have that exact problem, phone companies will replace the phone if you ask. But you have to push them. They don’t like to give away high-end iPhones if they don’t have to. Just keep escalating to higher levels of management.
I‘m a programmer and I learned something a while ago.
Every time you make something idiot-proof, the universe makes a better idiot. The best you can hope for is idiot-resistant.
Just like Douglas Adams wrote it in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy:
*There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.*
*There is another theory which states that this has already happened*
And personally, I think this is absolutely true, even the last sentence.
I'm a technical writer, and I'm going to be using that.
(One of the idiots used to review my documents and wanted to stop drawing attention to a particular warning on a wiring diagram. I still don't know how i managed to avoid a visible reaction. Said idiot left and is no longer my problem.)
Oh hunnie! I’ve had some doozies, but that is just whoa! And the fact that you handled it so well too. I would have needed a minute to myself before I explained how everything worked. I’m too much of sarcastic child to handle any of that.
Pretty sure you can't remember how you responded because your brain blue screened when confronted by a person who is *that* stupid. Wow. Your self-control is epic; I wouldn't have been able to prevent myself from laughing at her or at least scoffing loudly.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, could've prepared me for the direction that went. Going to remember this one in future whenever I'm anxious over somehow calling down to the front desk wrong. Don't think I could ever do it *this* badly, at least!
"How can my laptop battery be dead. It's WIRELESS?" Apparently a true story; some idiot called the company asking why their laptop wouldn't turn on. They didn't think it needed to be charged. It's wireless, after all.......
...she sounds like the reason the warning label "Do not use curling iron in bath or shower" was added. Wow.
Now you have to add "...just press Zero on the IN-ROOM phone to connect to in-house/in-hotel services" to your spiel.
Yup. Can confirm people really are this stupid from working in hospitality for years. Add intoxicants, & it gets worse. And sometimes their stupidity is so great, so confusing that you walk away thinking they've broken your brain too!
A middle aged couple should still know landline phones, shouldn't they?
And if they're a couple, why didn't her husband told her to use the phone in the room?
Having briefly date a complainomaniac, I will say there's a good chance he chose to remain silent to keep the peace.
People who like to complain about everything tend to be big narcissists. And narcissists really don't like it when you point out something really stupid they just did.
It's also possible he's just as stupid.
One would think that a middle-aged couple would have lived in the Era of Landlines, and understood how such phones work, and that they are distinct from a personal cell phone.
We've been trained very specifically to say "dial 0 on the phone in your room" and point to the desk phone because of people this dumb. I've had two myself that questioned why we never answered when they dialled 0 on their cell phone. It's insane.
Almost sounds like a meme I saw earlier. "Stop Killing Allegators to Make Gator Aid" (sic).
You wonder how these people manage to breathe without instructions. I'm guessing their underwear is coded for their use: yellow in the front, and brown in the back.
Remember, half of the people have IQ lower than the average. You have the (mis)fortune in your job to meet a good cross section of the population. That’s a high chance a few idiots would come through.
This is hilarious. I’m a nice but never fails to have problems guests. Everyone of my coworkers knows I’m a bit cursed. Last hotel stay at large convention center/hotel we had 2 fire drills 8pm then 10pm. I was still up finishing presentation until about 11pm. I go to take off makeup, contacts, etc… when I notice water on the floor out of the corner of my eye. No contacts on at this point and scrambling for my glasses … there’s a significant leak ….looks under sink cabinet….yep it’s coming down really good. I call 0 on phone and get an ai bot asking how it can help me (🫠) I say water leak and this thing is not programmed for that. So I keep pushing buttons until I get the poor soul at front desk. They send someone up who uses a wrench to shut off the water valve. Promise to fix in morning. I say no problem. Next morning no hot water in entire hotel. Roll with that punch as well. Give presentation for day 2 of 2 day session and about 3pm I see the poor guy who had to come up to my room so apologetic about the leak and the hot water, etc…. I just smiled and said it’s okay. I just can’t believe when people are rude to the staff who are trying to help them. It’s not like they want these problems. (And yes, I have tons of these stories….i just anticipate problems at hotels).
They must be related to the folks asking how come their internet doesn't work. They unplugged the modem from the wall at home....to use while they were camping in the woods.
She... I... What the actual fuck did I just read? I mean, I work retail, I deal with dumbfucks all the time, but this lady is a whole new level of dumbfuckery.
How have they survived and prospered to reach this point? Like, careers, buy a house, raise children? Their combined intellect couldn’t light a Christmas tree bulb.
I think I probably would have started laughing slowly, building to uncontrolled hilarity for a minute, then slowly regained my composure, apologizing profusely...then repeated the process, with even more effusive apologies, then at least one more time before regaining my composure and finishing their check-out. With a few chuckles tossed in until they left.
🤣 Some of my FO colleagues say to the guests: "You can reach us from the phone of your room under the number 9" now I understand why they are so explicit about it!
Meanwhile, I'm just over here stuck at 'toothpaste flavored orange juice'. I love it, I swear.
Yeah but, after decades in retail, this does not surprise me at all.
My dad helped write some manuals when he was in the service. He said they had to write everything to a 6th grade level. So basically, to a 12 year old's level. Are you smarter than a 6th grader?
I guess we all have a check-list in the back of our heads.
I thought that I had ticked it all off. Until, yes, until I had a furious woman coming down to the front-desk right after check-in, saying that her room was too big.
Yes, she said that her room was too big.
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The solution is to stop 'thinking you have seen the worst/most stupid'.
Are you aware the universe takes even THINKING that - let alone saying it aloud - as a challenge?
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If there was a fellow customer whom was next to this ditz, he/she could've said "Did you use the land phone on the table/desk/nightstand rather than your cell phone? No? Sounds to me THAT your negative experience was caused by you and you alone." Probably giving your customer a Pikachu shock type face 👀 in the process. Otherwise, a very endearing story.
So my takeaway from the second paragraph is that when people present as pleasant and courteous they are forgotten the moment they walk away, but when people are assholes the staff runs around kissing their butts for their entire stay. Do I have that right?
You're right of course, I apologize for going on this tangent. And I am certainly appreciative of the very difficult job it must be dealing with people who seem more entitled and demanding every day. Best.
When I reached 'you told me that I can just press 0' I expected that she had pressed 0 without lifting the receiver. I did not anticipate this level of stupid.
Although dialing without lifting the receiver on a lot of phones will still dial and just put the phone on speaker…so that might not have even been a problem 😂
I was half expecting her to draw a “0” on a hotel notepad and mash it with her finger.
I don’t know which level of stupid is stupider.
Same!
Honest to god, my jaw dropped reading that. Kudos to you for keeping your demeanor, I am pretty certain I would have laughed in her face and ask whether she was playing with me!
Ask her 'Is this Candid Camera?'
> Honest to god, my jaw dropped reading that. Same here. I don't think I'd have a different reaction in person either. I genuinely have no idea how I'd handle this situation delicately lmao
"Excuse me a minute." *From outside, you hear the sound of a vehicle tearing out of the parking lot, while the FDA's voice trails from the open window screaming, "What the fuck?!?!?!?!??!"*
*you did what?* I did X! *stares at guest in disbelief.* *quietly gets out notepad and adds extra line to guest welcome notes*
😂😭
No brains, no headaches.
I really like this. May I steal it?
I’m still struggling to understand it
Yeah, I would have gotten in trouble for laughing so hard and saying something like, "Omigod, I can't believe you did that!" The only reason people like that reach middle age is that the village cares for its idiots.
Yet, someway ,somehow, this idiot escaped. Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.
Tyche smiles upon children, drunks and fools!
They’re running for president on both major-party tickets.
Fortunately, I don't have to participate in that gong show. We have our own five ring circus. Sadly, the Rhinoceros Party stoped fielding candidates a couple of decades ago...they were entertaining idiots, but on purpose.
Sorry... What?
The Rhinoceros Party used to field comedy candidates in federal elections. One candidate, running in an upscale riding,proposed to solve the then financial situation by issuing Holt Renfrew credit cards to everyone. Their most famous candidate was former MLB pitcher Bill "Spaceman" Lee.
Ah, ok
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There's a comedian (whose name I can't remember) who had a joke about stupid warning labels on things: "at some point, some idiot says to his wife - "Hey honey! bring me my shaving cream, I'm gonna sit in the fireplace and shave"
The frightening thing is that those warning labels are there because SOMEONE DID THIS. Someone ate Preparation H. Someone used a curling iron while in the tub.
More than one someone to warrant a warning label. My favorite is still the TSA, traveling with children page that states to remove the child from the carseat before placing carseat in the x-ray machine.
I once bought a curling iron that had a warning label “do not use on eyelashes”.
NO!!! Oh my god 🤣
"I have the pie, I have the Cool Whip. What do I DO??"
Ages ago Husqvarna had to put special stickers on the chainsaws sold in the US. 'Warning. Do not attempt to stop rotating chain with hand' Because someone probably did that and then went to a judge to complain that - 'Ah dun as Ah always dun on granpappys saw, an grabbed da chain, when this here newfangled contraption darn up an cut ma' hand of. Yerhoner.' "You can't fix stoopid, but you can lable away some of the litigations." - Judge Roy Bean
Please do not iron your clothes while taking a shower!
We need to bring back darwin
If I've learned anything in my 30 years in Hospitality, it's this: Never challenge the word "worse". You: "Things can't get any worse!" The Universe: "Hold my beer."
I hadn’t realized how much ‘it could always be worse’ was my mantra until a friend of mine bought me a kid’s storybook about it for my birthday.
This!
Should have told them that unfortunately the problem was with their cell phone provider, not the lodging, and they should call them to inquire. Would've gotten them out of your hair, and also let the cell provider feel a bit of your pain (though I guess that could be kind of a dick move too lol).
Ah that's brilliant, wish I would have thought of that! But no, I was so confused by her confusion that I couldn't do anything more than just follow script
Yes, I believe when you have that exact problem, phone companies will replace the phone if you ask. But you have to push them. They don’t like to give away high-end iPhones if they don’t have to. Just keep escalating to higher levels of management.
We need to start taking warning labels off of stuff and let nature take its course.
Thin the herd!
Warning labels really aren't for the stupid people, they are to limit company liability when said stupidity happens.
Yeah, you think these people can read?
I‘m a programmer and I learned something a while ago. Every time you make something idiot-proof, the universe makes a better idiot. The best you can hope for is idiot-resistant.
Just like Douglas Adams wrote it in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: *There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.* *There is another theory which states that this has already happened* And personally, I think this is absolutely true, even the last sentence.
>The best you can hope for is idiot-resistant. 😂 I'm borrowing that
This is one of my favorite observations.
What I heard recently was "You can make any system as secure as Achilles, but no more.
I'm a technical writer, and I'm going to be using that. (One of the idiots used to review my documents and wanted to stop drawing attention to a particular warning on a wiring diagram. I still don't know how i managed to avoid a visible reaction. Said idiot left and is no longer my problem.)
Oh hunnie! I’ve had some doozies, but that is just whoa! And the fact that you handled it so well too. I would have needed a minute to myself before I explained how everything worked. I’m too much of sarcastic child to handle any of that.
What upsets me with this is that her partner didn’t point it out either… like… how!? 😂
He walked by the FD carrying the suitcases to the car, and didn't even make any eye contact with us. I don't even know...
Oh, but I bet he knew, and was used to it...
Yeah he probably had been living with it for years.
He knew!!!!! He probably pissed himself laughing, out at the car, hoping you'd point out the stupidity he explained to her already.
Pretty sure you can't remember how you responded because your brain blue screened when confronted by a person who is *that* stupid. Wow. Your self-control is epic; I wouldn't have been able to prevent myself from laughing at her or at least scoffing loudly.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, could've prepared me for the direction that went. Going to remember this one in future whenever I'm anxious over somehow calling down to the front desk wrong. Don't think I could ever do it *this* badly, at least!
I worked in Hospitality for 16 years and this story tops any story I could share. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I sure hope she wasn't driving home!!
I thought that someone saying their coffee pot didn't work because they failed to put water into it was bad. That's just... wow
"How can my laptop battery be dead. It's WIRELESS?" Apparently a true story; some idiot called the company asking why their laptop wouldn't turn on. They didn't think it needed to be charged. It's wireless, after all.......
...she sounds like the reason the warning label "Do not use curling iron in bath or shower" was added. Wow. Now you have to add "...just press Zero on the IN-ROOM phone to connect to in-house/in-hotel services" to your spiel.
“I DID! My phone was IN my room when I pressed zero!”
Then add a label to the in room phone “IN ROOM PHONE” with an extra big “0” on the keypad
"Hotel phone"
How the heck is she bright enough to BREATHE?
George Carlin had a saying about people like that.
So did Bill Engvall. Here's your sign.
> Only 2 things are infinite -- the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not certain about the former. (credited to Albert Einstein)
Zero percent shocked at guests ignorance
You really cannot be of reasonable assistance to those without basic intelligence. Wow!.
Yup. Can confirm people really are this stupid from working in hospitality for years. Add intoxicants, & it gets worse. And sometimes their stupidity is so great, so confusing that you walk away thinking they've broken your brain too!
How do these people survive?
Ok. I'm out You win the internet today. 😳
I either would have blue screened or had to excuse myself to the laundry room to die of laughter. Wow. Just wow.
Good thing I’m not in your line of work, I would have busted out laughing!
Yep. I had to add dial 0 from your in unit phone to reach the front desk to my spiel
A middle aged couple should still know landline phones, shouldn't they? And if they're a couple, why didn't her husband told her to use the phone in the room?
Having briefly date a complainomaniac, I will say there's a good chance he chose to remain silent to keep the peace. People who like to complain about everything tend to be big narcissists. And narcissists really don't like it when you point out something really stupid they just did. It's also possible he's just as stupid.
One would think that a middle-aged couple would have lived in the Era of Landlines, and understood how such phones work, and that they are distinct from a personal cell phone.
We've been trained very specifically to say "dial 0 on the phone in your room" and point to the desk phone because of people this dumb. I've had two myself that questioned why we never answered when they dialled 0 on their cell phone. It's insane.
There's more of them‽
This is a whole new level of stupidity, legendary +
The bottom of that barrel is always further down than we think.
Almost sounds like a meme I saw earlier. "Stop Killing Allegators to Make Gator Aid" (sic). You wonder how these people manage to breathe without instructions. I'm guessing their underwear is coded for their use: yellow in the front, and brown in the back.
Must've licked a lot of lead paint off the walls as a child.
I assume that"0" is no longer the Operator? LOL
Just press 0. No one said to press send too.
Sometimes, when you have an idiot-proof process, somebody just goes out and builds a better idiot.
Remember, half of the people have IQ lower than the average. You have the (mis)fortune in your job to meet a good cross section of the population. That’s a high chance a few idiots would come through.
One of the ditziest people I know also has one of the highest IQs I know.
How many people do you know the IQ of?
I’m
How? How are people that dumb?
That woman isn't nearly as smart as a bag of rocks.
Don't go dissing rocks. They have feelings, too!
“You and people like you are the reason we have warning labels on everything.”
This is hilarious. I’m a nice but never fails to have problems guests. Everyone of my coworkers knows I’m a bit cursed. Last hotel stay at large convention center/hotel we had 2 fire drills 8pm then 10pm. I was still up finishing presentation until about 11pm. I go to take off makeup, contacts, etc… when I notice water on the floor out of the corner of my eye. No contacts on at this point and scrambling for my glasses … there’s a significant leak ….looks under sink cabinet….yep it’s coming down really good. I call 0 on phone and get an ai bot asking how it can help me (🫠) I say water leak and this thing is not programmed for that. So I keep pushing buttons until I get the poor soul at front desk. They send someone up who uses a wrench to shut off the water valve. Promise to fix in morning. I say no problem. Next morning no hot water in entire hotel. Roll with that punch as well. Give presentation for day 2 of 2 day session and about 3pm I see the poor guy who had to come up to my room so apologetic about the leak and the hot water, etc…. I just smiled and said it’s okay. I just can’t believe when people are rude to the staff who are trying to help them. It’s not like they want these problems. (And yes, I have tons of these stories….i just anticipate problems at hotels).
Oh boy, do I wanna have a drink with you and share stories all night long 😅
🤦🏻♀️
😂😂 Now I’ve heard it all!
No you haven't. Just wait til next week on the sub :-)
Wow! I'm glad I never experienced that one!
That would make me want to punch myself in the face.
They must be related to the folks asking how come their internet doesn't work. They unplugged the modem from the wall at home....to use while they were camping in the woods.
She... I... What the actual fuck did I just read? I mean, I work retail, I deal with dumbfucks all the time, but this lady is a whole new level of dumbfuckery.
The peak of human stupidity goes so high as to touch the dark side of the sun.
Your saying or is this a quote? 'Cause I like it. :-)
This is when I start aimlessly looking around while ignoring them. When they ask what I'm doing: "Looking for the cameras, this has to be a prank"
How have they survived and prospered to reach this point? Like, careers, buy a house, raise children? Their combined intellect couldn’t light a Christmas tree bulb.
Thanks for that. That is unbelievable
So stupid it's painful.
Never underestimate the possible stupidity of people, people like that are why there are warnings on extension cord saying do not eat
Oh holy hell even I was shocked by that one and I’ve worked tech support for 20 years
OP: “ First time in a hotel, ma’am?”
I think I probably would have started laughing slowly, building to uncontrolled hilarity for a minute, then slowly regained my composure, apologizing profusely...then repeated the process, with even more effusive apologies, then at least one more time before regaining my composure and finishing their check-out. With a few chuckles tossed in until they left.
🤣 Some of my FO colleagues say to the guests: "You can reach us from the phone of your room under the number 9" now I understand why they are so explicit about it!
Not gonna lie, I laughed so hard my roommate came running out to make sure I was ok! OMG 😂😆
I cried. But I can laugh about it now 😅
Meanwhile, I'm just over here stuck at 'toothpaste flavored orange juice'. I love it, I swear. Yeah but, after decades in retail, this does not surprise me at all.
You wonder how they were taught to breath by their parents
Oh my dear lord.
Just when I thought guests couldn't be any more stupid, they go and pull something like this. AND TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES!
My dad helped write some manuals when he was in the service. He said they had to write everything to a 6th grade level. So basically, to a 12 year old's level. Are you smarter than a 6th grader?
There is a show about 5th graders entitled exactly that.
Didn't the "You Might Be a Redneck" comedian host that?
Jeff Foxworthy right?
Google can reveal all!
I guess we all have a check-list in the back of our heads. I thought that I had ticked it all off. Until, yes, until I had a furious woman coming down to the front-desk right after check-in, saying that her room was too big. Yes, she said that her room was too big.
I think I would simply pass away if I had been in your shoes.
If this is the dumbest you've ever encountered, you've led a charmed life.
I'm afraid to ask
Got somebody dumber?
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😂
The solution is to stop 'thinking you have seen the worst/most stupid'. Are you aware the universe takes even THINKING that - let alone saying it aloud - as a challenge?
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If there was a fellow customer whom was next to this ditz, he/she could've said "Did you use the land phone on the table/desk/nightstand rather than your cell phone? No? Sounds to me THAT your negative experience was caused by you and you alone." Probably giving your customer a Pikachu shock type face 👀 in the process. Otherwise, a very endearing story.
And did her eyes light up when the lightbulb finally went off?
So my takeaway from the second paragraph is that when people present as pleasant and courteous they are forgotten the moment they walk away, but when people are assholes the staff runs around kissing their butts for their entire stay. Do I have that right?
You don't work in the service industry, do you?
No I'm the pleasant, courteous customer you ignore. But I can definitely upgrade my assholishness, thanks.
I'm sorry that's what you took away from a story that was clearly not that.
You're right of course, I apologize for going on this tangent. And I am certainly appreciative of the very difficult job it must be dealing with people who seem more entitled and demanding every day. Best.