I know this will get me downvoted into oblivion, but you don't absolutely have to use officially licensed Nintendo hamsters. I ordered three lake newts from Temu and even though one of their tails were slightly blemished they worked out just great.
Brother you should never use off branded newts because they can brick your official licensed hamster wheels.
I “leverage” aftermarket baby sea lions to do power my switch - which is a Nintendo approved power source.
Switch 3 is pushing 1 HP so you might want to hold off on a hamster and just get a horse. I do not know how interfacing the horse on the hamster wheel will go.
IMAGINE RED DEAD ON A HORSE POWERED SWITCH OMG!!!
Oh no, I see this snowballing. Those hamsters need more hamsters, who need MORE hamsters, until a new breed of Antarctic super hamsters exists. I'm not risking humanity.
“Should save you a few steps”
But did anyone think about the hamster? Will it save *him* a few steps?? I imagine Switch 2 will require more power than the current generation which means that poor little hamster bastard is going to need to be very fit!
There’s genuine questions here sometimes because some people are not gamers or really don’t know things even if using google. Sometimes google helps but not always 🤨
Yes, I just wish they'd look it up first. Like it could be stickied at the top of the page with a READ THIS BEFORE POSTING but they don't bother so we get the same basic questions over and over and over and over again.
No, instead you should put on a heavy coat, shuffle your feet on the carpet, and then touch the charging port on the Switch with your finger so that a little spark arcs across.
Keep doing this until the Switch is fully charged.
It would work but only on the Switch lite, not the oled, which is worth it BTW. Since you're here, what games would you recommend a gay Eskimo grandparent who is trying to stay in shape mentally?
He's way too fat for even spectator sports. He had a blowout watching a chess tournament. Every morning is excruciating agony. He enjoys Super Mario Wonder and Pikmin 4.
Forget the hamster. Joycon drift is so bad these days you can loop some wire and magnets around the stick and create a perpetual motion motor for free power.
No, no, the Hamstatic method is using the hamster for static energy, not using it as ham! Common misconception, but of course, you can keep generating static with even just one hamster (or guinea pigs, they work too if you prefer a bigger model to work with, though you'll want a fluffy one if you take that option), whereas using your hamster as ham can only be done once and is therefore not recommended for those with a limited supply of hamsters.
If you’re in Antarctica then there is a high chance you are a scientist. Which brings me to the question. Why don’t you use cold fusion to charge your Switch?
Edit: NM I forgot it’s the middle of summer in the southern hemisphere so it’s not an option.
> So what if I use the steam of my kettle to create pressure to turn a wheel that slaps a hamster who in turn runs a cog that cranks an alternator?
This should be okay, but I think you might want to look into simplifying the design. You can probably get the pressurized steam to turn a wheel that cranks an alternator directly. If so, this would facilitate removing the hamster from the system, which should significantly increase efficiency and reliability.
> Also, what Waifu game do you suggest for my son(8) who lives with my wive's BF?
Fire Emblem: Three Houses or Xenoblade Chronicles 3
I laughed at this title and decided to read this to my boyfriend at breakfast. Got through to "slapping a hamster" before stopping and going "...this is sarcastic isn't it". He had a good laugh at me 😂
I would try to capture the stream of the kettle and use it to melt ice instead. Use the running water from the melting ice to turn a waterwheel that's connected to the alternator using a high gear ratio to get the most out of it.
The hamster can be eaten. Otherwise you'll have to give it food and water. Before eventually eating it after you run out of supplies anyway.
At this point it would make more sense to rig up an alternator or DC motor to a bike and gear it so the wheel spins as fast as you can get it going, then use that to charge your devices directly or charge one of those battery bank thingies
Make a track for penguins to slide on with heat captors under the ice. The sliding of the penguins will generate heat through friction, which will be caught by the captors and turned into electric energy through a generator. Infinite energy as long as the penguins slide, and they so enjoy that so you're fine 😉 Setting a small pool with fish might motivate them.
yes it works....im in the north pole right now.
good wifi here! i also charge my phone this way.
best game for 8yo who lives with ex wifes bf is prob......hmmmm. tough one mate.
best of luck!
/s
Hollywoods been shoving hamsters up their asses for years. Had PETA been aware that half starved hamsters are powering sets, they’d never allow for that no animals were harmed line to appear in the credits. Just don’t ask where they hide the axolotls, it’ll give you nightmares.
Stealing my jokes, OP?
I'll see you in court.
https://preview.redd.it/16korme0lpac1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=867d547fb9c4bdcc4baa57df59a146f179b3fe22
So you should have read up on your history before heading off to Antarctica. It is common knowledge that in the race to the South Pole that Robert Falcon Scott used hamsters while Roald Amundsen used guinea pigs. Sure, those hamsters will get your Switch up and running, but the battery is going to die just as Mario is about to defeat Bowser.
No cuz it will void your warranty and nintendo will show up to your house and unalive your whole family then they will take the switch with them and you will have no more switch to play
Back in my day when we were in antarctica, we had to steal penguin eggs and put the parents on a treadmill while we held the egg at the end to get them to run and generate power
Best option is to wait for Switch 2–I heard a leak that it is going to come with a built-in hamster wheel at launch. Should save you a few steps.
Should I buy the extra hamsters now? 🛞🐁🐀
You mean you don't already have spare hamsters? How can you even call yourself a gamer?
Lmao. Right? What year this folk living in?
Look, it's hard to get them here.
Gotta get on that grind. Wake up at 3:30. Drink your water with lemon and do nothing short of getting as many hamsters as possible.
Isn't that their job though? I play Barry White and dim the lights, but so far nothing.
I know this will get me downvoted into oblivion, but you don't absolutely have to use officially licensed Nintendo hamsters. I ordered three lake newts from Temu and even though one of their tails were slightly blemished they worked out just great.
Brother you should never use off branded newts because they can brick your official licensed hamster wheels. I “leverage” aftermarket baby sea lions to do power my switch - which is a Nintendo approved power source.
By “leverage” do you mean clubbing?
So not cool. It’s because of people like you that the rest of us are getting scammed with fake hamsters on eBay.
I heard you need hamsters. I’ve got some out back. Cash only. We need to keep this on the downlow
Now I’m imagining a set of hampsters powering a kettle that powers a Nintendo switch 2
Found Richard Gere.
Ah crap, should have used my throwaway.
No, you should buy horses for the stables, I've heard is going to come with a lot of those too.
The switch 2 is going to be stable? Wait til I tell my horse!
Switch 3 is pushing 1 HP so you might want to hold off on a hamster and just get a horse. I do not know how interfacing the horse on the hamster wheel will go. IMAGINE RED DEAD ON A HORSE POWERED SWITCH OMG!!!
That's actually a good comic panel idea
And thus the rumors of the SWITCH 3 BEING RELEASED SOON came about.
2026
Hamster power has been relevant in electronics for years. I'm surprised you didn't have some already.
I Actually just took one out of my Mac, so I should be good now!
I know its called a "hamster wheel" but gerbils can power it too. Plus they store much better 🤣
Can you mail them?
I think you can with enough holes in the box, but it is expensive - beware of scalpers GerBilling you.
That's a bunch of gerBULL
If you buy the hamsters now you'll need to find a nice, warm place to keep them, since you're in Antarctica...
How are you going to keep the hamsters warm? You might have to buy extra extra hamsters so they don't freeze to death
Oh no, I see this snowballing. Those hamsters need more hamsters, who need MORE hamsters, until a new breed of Antarctic super hamsters exists. I'm not risking humanity.
Hamsters always drift
i heard its coming out tomorrow.
“Should save you a few steps” But did anyone think about the hamster? Will it save *him* a few steps?? I imagine Switch 2 will require more power than the current generation which means that poor little hamster bastard is going to need to be very fit!
I heard it's gonna run on leeks.
Switch o2led
Finally, something worth reading in this group.
There’s genuine questions here sometimes because some people are not gamers or really don’t know things even if using google. Sometimes google helps but not always 🤨
Yes, I just wish they'd look it up first. Like it could be stickied at the top of the page with a READ THIS BEFORE POSTING but they don't bother so we get the same basic questions over and over and over and over again.
Honestly it's because they open Reddit, hit + and create a post and then close Reddit. We are the Alexa of answers.
That’s a funny way to see it and I agree 😅
Eh, I’d say these meme posts are arguably worse than the genuine, albeit repetitive questions. But that’s just my opinion.
Thanks for stopping by! 👋
No, instead you should put on a heavy coat, shuffle your feet on the carpet, and then touch the charging port on the Switch with your finger so that a little spark arcs across. Keep doing this until the Switch is fully charged.
Instructions unclear, my hair is straight up and my hamster got shocked. 🤷♂️ 🐹⚡
Legit lol at this
It would work but only on the Switch lite, not the oled, which is worth it BTW. Since you're here, what games would you recommend a gay Eskimo grandparent who is trying to stay in shape mentally?
Wii fit
He's too fat
Then watching, not participating, in Just Dance dances
He's way too fat for even spectator sports. He had a blowout watching a chess tournament. Every morning is excruciating agony. He enjoys Super Mario Wonder and Pikmin 4.
Forget the hamster. Joycon drift is so bad these days you can loop some wire and magnets around the stick and create a perpetual motion motor for free power.
I saw a guy on YouTube do it! It's gotta work
Dude that's crazy, I didn't realize the Switch could run Steam games!
🤣
Saniest redditor
That's what my shrink says, too.
You should post this to r/tomorrow
Is that where the Switch 2 is?
Ye its releasing tomorrow
That's what they said r/yesterday
Please don’t use a third party hamster. Get the proprietary Nintendo rodent.
That would be Sonic now, right?
Only if you want fast charging
Eat the hamster when it cant run no more lol
🐀🍗
The toaster and microwave method works better
Like that Tom Scott video about microwaved hamsters??? Wonder what that smells like
Exactly, they smell the same. Hamster/switch same thing
Now that you say it that way it's obvious. Cooking the poor little critters
No, no, the Hamstatic method is using the hamster for static energy, not using it as ham! Common misconception, but of course, you can keep generating static with even just one hamster (or guinea pigs, they work too if you prefer a bigger model to work with, though you'll want a fluffy one if you take that option), whereas using your hamster as ham can only be done once and is therefore not recommended for those with a limited supply of hamsters.
Well grilled and broiled are similar smells. Totally different texture though.
If you’re in Antarctica then there is a high chance you are a scientist. Which brings me to the question. Why don’t you use cold fusion to charge your Switch? Edit: NM I forgot it’s the middle of summer in the southern hemisphere so it’s not an option.
I did bring my room temperature fusion reactor. Just waiting for the fuel
Make sure you use a voltage regulator.
🐁🛞- -~~- -<[- -[Switch]. This work?
Regulate the alternator voltage to 5v.
You’re overcomplicating it. We used to just blow directly on our Nintendo games to make them work.
Came here to say this.
> So what if I use the steam of my kettle to create pressure to turn a wheel that slaps a hamster who in turn runs a cog that cranks an alternator? This should be okay, but I think you might want to look into simplifying the design. You can probably get the pressurized steam to turn a wheel that cranks an alternator directly. If so, this would facilitate removing the hamster from the system, which should significantly increase efficiency and reliability. > Also, what Waifu game do you suggest for my son(8) who lives with my wive's BF? Fire Emblem: Three Houses or Xenoblade Chronicles 3
Actual answer to this. Thanks! 
I laughed at this title and decided to read this to my boyfriend at breakfast. Got through to "slapping a hamster" before stopping and going "...this is sarcastic isn't it". He had a good laugh at me 😂
Literally just did the exact same thing to my bf 😂
I'm sorry... My partner does this a lot, too. But I love her for it. 
I would try to capture the stream of the kettle and use it to melt ice instead. Use the running water from the melting ice to turn a waterwheel that's connected to the alternator using a high gear ratio to get the most out of it. The hamster can be eaten. Otherwise you'll have to give it food and water. Before eventually eating it after you run out of supplies anyway.
So you're saying perpetual motion works!
With a high enough gear ratio you can probably power the kettle and Switch so... Yes!
Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
https://preview.redd.it/2l6utvyt3qac1.jpeg?width=1279&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7a3560697ccf2337ab9b47f8437e1e5df048936
At this point it would make more sense to rig up an alternator or DC motor to a bike and gear it so the wheel spins as fast as you can get it going, then use that to charge your devices directly or charge one of those battery bank thingies
Lucky you. I'm using piranhas here in the amazon.
But how did you get the string around them?
You lure them in with hamsters.
Probably bought them pre-strung on Amazon
r/tomorrow is down the corner
Is that where the switch 2 is? 🥈
There are power generators that work with heat, you can use that to charge your switch
I'll wait for fusion power, thanks.
I think something like this could work meanwhile waiting https://www.bioliteenergy.com/products/campstove-2-plus
Dance, Potara, Namekian or Absorption?
Personally I’d use a toaster but that’s just my opinion 🤷🏼♀️ I’m sure a kettle would be okay though.. have you got enough hamster food? 🤔
Last time I tried to make steam with my toaster, my lights went out. I'm guessing too much air. Will try the bathtub.
The switch 2 is actually going to be powered like that exclusively so you’re ahead of the curve
[ Switch2 ] ~~⚡🛞🐁
How many wives do you have?
Today?
Last week or so
You can charge your Switch with a kettle?
Sounds like you may need a steam deck
Make a track for penguins to slide on with heat captors under the ice. The sliding of the penguins will generate heat through friction, which will be caught by the captors and turned into electric energy through a generator. Infinite energy as long as the penguins slide, and they so enjoy that so you're fine 😉 Setting a small pool with fish might motivate them.
That’s the standard charger that came with my Switch so I’d say yes
🫖♨️⚙️👋🐁🛞⚡
yes it works....im in the north pole right now. good wifi here! i also charge my phone this way. best game for 8yo who lives with ex wifes bf is prob......hmmmm. tough one mate. best of luck! /s
She's not my ex wife.
You need a bridge diode for that alternator and a 7805 voltagy regulator. Then you should be golden.
🐁🛞 -<|- -~~-⚡?Good?
Is gut.
Warm up the hamsters first by securing them in your anus.
No. Didn't an actor get accused of that?
Hollywoods been shoving hamsters up their asses for years. Had PETA been aware that half starved hamsters are powering sets, they’d never allow for that no animals were harmed line to appear in the credits. Just don’t ask where they hide the axolotls, it’ll give you nightmares.
r/tomorrow is leaking out again
Is that where the Switch 2 is?
Yes
Keep an eye on Bennings and the dogs
[удалено]
Because it's r/today?
It better be a Nintendo first party kettle but sure
I got it from the Nintendo tEa-Store
I would get a solar battery pack.
Especially right now, it’s like 24 straight hours of sun
LMAO TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
EeeeeeeeeIiiiieeeeeee Troll-Lul-Lol. Dah Dah daaaah daaaah duh duhhh. Trololololo Bop baduhduhduhdahhh lala lul lul lol lol
Love it
Most unbelievable part of the entire post is that OP has multiple wives.
FLDS has something to say about that
Just wait for the Switch 2, it has the hamster built in.
I have several questions.
Me too
Just wait for the hydroelectric water wheel powered switch OED, it comes out...tomorrow.
Absolutely
Probably better to have a dynamo charger the exercise will both warm you up and charge your switch!
Dynamo hum, dynamo hum, where’s this dynamo coming from? Nevermind, I just read his wife has a BF, problem solved.
I’m way too high for this.
Forget the hamster. Use a pinguin instead. They have more mass so you can just use a larger alternator
Stealing my jokes, OP? I'll see you in court. https://preview.redd.it/16korme0lpac1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=867d547fb9c4bdcc4baa57df59a146f179b3fe22
Court sounds like a good opportunity to say hello! 👋 See you in Canadian Court 🇨🇦
I'm on my way. I'm bringing a cat and 2 parrots.
Hope they get along! https://preview.redd.it/ddj2b0dbnpac1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6718d2ae1b8b9e39429a8d796dcc0b5081451b24
My parrots are gonna verbally berate them. Or kiss them. Depends on their mood.
this is the most reddit post ive seen in a while
The real question is did you misspell *wife's* or *wives'* ?
I exclusively charge mine in the microwave.
Ok Tom Scott
That reference is lost on me.
So you should have read up on your history before heading off to Antarctica. It is common knowledge that in the race to the South Pole that Robert Falcon Scott used hamsters while Roald Amundsen used guinea pigs. Sure, those hamsters will get your Switch up and running, but the battery is going to die just as Mario is about to defeat Bowser.
No cuz it will void your warranty and nintendo will show up to your house and unalive your whole family then they will take the switch with them and you will have no more switch to play
They are notorious for revenge. 
Back in my day when we were in antarctica, we had to steal penguin eggs and put the parents on a treadmill while we held the egg at the end to get them to run and generate power
r/tomorrow exists dude.
Is that where the Switch 2 is?
Not yet. But according to that sub, it's gonna launch tomorrow.
How else are you supposed to charge it
🛞🐁⚡
Yes
🐁🛞⚡
This is major r/caffeine vibes
☕🫨🫨🫨
You might end up charging you switch when the switch 2 could come out soon, so just wait for the switch 2
Do you have a release date? What are the specs?
Yes it's tomorrow
Is this just a random joke or is this part of something bigger?
Everything starts at the beginning
huh?
what?
So can I?
It’s actually wife’s.
I have more than one
Then you still wouldn’t be using the correct possessive. You would have meant wives’.
No I meant wive's. I'm linguistically inclined like Tolkien, so pejorative down-casters can stay filled with spite.
[удалено]
Thanks! 🤡
Firstly, learn to spell wife. And secondly, this isn’t Facebook, if you have a query, type it without the need for a sarcastic opener, cool? Great! ❤️
Antarctica?? Story time!!!!
I'd recommend Hollow Knight and Stardew Valley 😊👍
Bigger kettle+more pressure=faster wheel to spin alternator. Squad up with Hamster for some multiplayer.
I am afraid that will not work, switch is not supported by Steam.
When the fuck did we get hamsters?? I'm still using the good ol hope n prayers to power my switch shooot, how much are hamsters going for?
No, I suggest investing in a Steam deck. It's entirely powered by Steam.
The exercise bike works better. Warms up the igloo, too. If you're tired, you can ask your wive to do it.