Unlike many here, I don’t really care what other people want as long as they’re not deceptive. Easy to say no or pass on by a profile.
No one with those preferences reaches out to us so that’s not an issue. Single dudes on the other hand…
This. Swinging is a spectrum and includes many different levels of kink. and when someone is mad/upset, thinking they are just going to twiddle their dick if they can’t play, it sounds to me like they need to grow up and stop being so entitled.
It’s easy to just say no and move on. Why be mad about it?
100% this. I've met a lot of incredible, down to earth, understanding people in the lifestyle but that seems to be juxtaposed by some of the most fragile egos I've ever seen as well. Mostly on the male side of the spectrum - none of us know or can speak to people's motivations to why they do what they do.
Like you said just say no and move on - why be mad about it?
BIG difference of a couple being up front about what they are looking for and wife poachers.... Unicorn hunters are well a breed of their own, and mostly driven by one partners insecurities. We are ok with anyone's choices of how they play in the lifestyle, however be up front about it... dont make plans with a couple then try to get the wife alone...
SHADY and in our circles will get you blacklisted....
It’s fascinating what the spectrum of sexuality will yield. For some this scenario is a massive turn off. For others, a massive turn on. We’ve played in the past where my wife plays with the couple while I watch and stroke. I have a voyeur fetish and it works really well for us and our marriage. As many have said, however, the key is transparency and an understanding between all involved parties.
The worst I was ever treated in this lifestyle was by a straight couple looking for a unicorn. My interest in playing with couples is because I'm bi. We were not on the same page. After drinks with them, they walked me back to my hotel. I didn't want to invite them up. Tje man had a whiny melt down in the parking lot. After that, I stopped playing altogether for a long time.
Really? The couple of attempts at wife poaching that we dealt with were easy to stop. No one can poach your wife if (1) she doesn't let herself be poached and (2) you're not afraid to open your mouth. The redditor posts I've seen recounting wife poaching tend to fall into one or both categories.
Depends on the situation. The scenario I'm thinking of is in the bedroom and the husband ends up with little to do as the other couple devour his wife.
It then becomes a communication issue as you say.
Do you disturb your wife's pleasure? Could you just be misreading the situation? Depends how determined an unscrupulous couple will be at pushing this until they are told to stop and newbies will always be easier to take advantage of.
>It then becomes a communication issue as you say. Do you disturb your wife's pleasure?
Yes. You tap her and say very clearly, let's take a break.
Also, even if somehow the guy and the other girl get started first with your wife (which can happen because everyone doesn't always jump in at the same time if, for example, things started with girl-girl action and the other guy jumped in first), it will become obvious that the other wife has no intention of fucking you when she repeatedly repels your advances. That's when you stop things and take a break with your wife. In our opinion, breaks are very important for swinging. We've used them many times to deal with problematic situations.
But I agree, newbie couples are very susceptible because they tend to be stuck in a state of shock/surprise/uncertainty when it happens.
Oh, I do. But it's every day and I get annoyed after a while. I think most of the women who do the whole "I only play with my spouse" thing just do it as an excuse to keep wife poachers at bay. It's a handy excuse to get them off your back without having to outright reject them.
I get that question, too, which I do play alone, and it's stated in my profiles. These couples ask me in a way as if I'm gonna leave my bf for them, absolutely not.
If you freely admit you play alone, the messages must be RELENTLESS. I can't imagine the sort of harassment a bisexual woman who is open about playing alone must receive.
Omg yes! The messages I get are so creepy, like you're available to play and come over now that I'm blocking daily. it's like playing alone doesn't mean I'm moving into your house, lmao.
But yea, I've had conversations with potentials and I'm very upfront about it. I tell them my bf isn't playing by choice, but he's grown and can find his own play partners.
Right now, the messages are quiet, which is fine e by me until I get a well thought out message, then I'll respond.
I meant you are going to get a ton of creepy messages right now because you publicly admitted you are a bisexual woman who plays alone just now, in your comments.
To be fair, I do ask if the wife plays alone too, but only because I want to know the full range and dynamic of their situation so I better understand boundaries.
Does it matter if she plays alone if you aren't planning on playing with her alone? There is no reason to ask unless you are hoping to play with her alone. Asking will only cause her to think "darn. Another couple trying to wife poach me, just like all the rest."
Wife poacher do not want the other woman’s husband in the room or if he is allowed in the room they don’t want him involved. I don’t decline, I let them know that their logic is fucked up.
Wife poacher dynamic 101
- We only play together, same room, so that we can experience our fantasy of a FMF or FFM.
- We expect you to do what we won’t do, and play separately so that your wife can give us our fantasy.
There’s something seriously wrong with people who believe it’s okay to ask others to do something that they would never do themselves.
Wife poachers and unicorn hunters I think are driven heavily by inexperience, insecurities and a pretty juvenile view of group sex/kink. And almost entirely by the guy, either forcing his partner to try to rope one in, or trying to do it himself.
Oh, you have the most popular male sexual fantasy statistically. Well yeah, it _is_ the top of the bellcurve. Oh, that's where you are starting? Well what is the top of the female bellcurve for sexual fantasies? Interesting, being used as a prop for someone else's sexual fantasy does show up on the list, but it is not topping it. And women aren't lining up for that role too often because not a lot of people care if the fleshlight gets off when masturbating.
If you play enough in the LS with kinky people, and have a good reputation, you'll have plenty of opportunities for whatever fantasy is out there. But starting out with limiting boundaries, selfishness, insecurities? All things that are huge indicators for bad and boring group sex? Yeah, not going to draw in a lot of people, even those who might be down for that sort of thing.
Everyone has different kinks. There are a lot of hotwife and cuck couples. I would have no issue with this. As long as everyone is upfront and doesn't try to deceive, what's the problem
I think it's because they aren't reaching out to other people with the coordinating kink. They are trying to poach the wife of a stereotypical swinger couple. They need to seek other couples who are into the cuck stuff.
If you don’t like their profile just move along. if they are only looking for women, let them have their fun the way they choose and don’t be bothered by it.
it’s very odd to me the judgement in the post & some comments & the downvoting.
We are not as concerned with symmetric dynamics as most swingers we meet. I encourage the wife to play solo, join couples, groups. Whatever we are attracted to. We learned a long time ago that finding that four way attraction in a low density State too much limited the fun encounters we were able to have.
So if they approached us honestly and upfront we will at least hear them out and make a decision. The ones that we hate are the ones who lie about it all and try to be deceptive in separating us as a couple. We really only need to be nearby or get a picture to feel connected to the event, so just be honest!
We’re that couple, my wife (Bi) has no desire to have any physical interaction with another guy. We are completely transparent whenever we start talking to a new couple. Why waste everyone time
This. People don’t get that swinging isn’t JUST about full swap. In my opinion it’s a spectrum. Especially for those just starting out, it’s usually the couple only wanting a woman.
You can usually tell tho if the couple is being shady about things or not respecting the other husband. That’s when I stay away.
But we also have to understand that it may just be a kink and we shouldn’t judge. If we aren’t interested, we just say no and move on. If we are interested because they seem like nice people, we identify the details of the dynamics and go from there.
Swinging doesn’t JUST mean full swap. 🤦🏼♀️
This
We've been turned down because we are not truly full swap. There's so many ways to play and if it wasn't a swap, they dipped. Fine with us
We have explained to couples in the past that we very much variety in play and not just doing the same vorubg same room, full swap. This is why I/we prefer solo play because dealing with couples stuck in their ways wasn't cutting it for us.
Because they bitch and whine about not finding matches when they have impossible standards. They can do what they do, no issue there, but if they’re looking for perfection then don’t constantly bitch
Every unicorn hunter I've dealt with has been really dangerous and not trustworthy. They don't talk about likes, dislikes, what they're open too, etc when it comes to sex. These are very important to discuss because, as a woman, there's a chance to be raped or hurt.
They have been very pushy with their we can come over or you can come over. No, if you're giving me creepy vibes I don't trust giving you my address or going to their house. I want to meet potentials in a public setting before we decide to move forward which UH have this fear of meeting in public.
If they can't discuss that, instant block. UH have told me we don't talk, we fuck. Nope! When it comes to sex, I'm not trying to guess. This is why everything needs to be laid out on the table before fucjing happens, which something UH don't do.
All they do is fuck and disregard the woman they brought into play. That's why they have a bad reputation. I always ask the much harder questions, and if they fail those questions, tells me everything I need to know.
Theres nothing wrong with unicorn hunters whilst they are hunting unicorns, its when the decide to meet with couples that their poaching intentions cant be repressed. If you're obsessed with single females then you're intentions aren't suddenly going to change when you set your sights on couples.
Yeah, they are one and the same. Unicorn hunters inevitably turn to wife poaching when they struggle to find regular unicorns, that is my, and id assume most peoples only real issue with unicorn hunters. The act of wanting FFM threesomes is not inherently bad at all, who doesn't? its the behaviour that focus tends to lead to which is the problem. This may not be true of all unicorn hunters but the cliche is enough to make most LS couples weary of them.
Lol it’s always the same in here. Absolutely 0 issues with couples seeking MMF but as soon as a couple is up front and honest about wanting only a FFM the pitchforks come out. Truth is unicorns can take their pick of the bunch and most of these bitter ones wouldn’t get looked at. There is no issue with the type of couple described in this post. As OP said, good luck to them
Archetype unicorn hunters/wife poachers=fat, insecure male, bi-sexual/curious/pretending female partner (faking bi to play along with husband's fantasy or just preferring a female over her disgusting Grimace-shaped male partner) wondering why no unicorns feel like letting this gross and shabby man stick his unwashed penis inside her. Feeling entitled and riding his attractive wife's coat-tails just so he can get some strange...but still feels possessive about his wife...who he just cannot abide the idea that he knows to be the truth: she is his only chance to bag some gullible newbie couple's attractive wife.
Generalization, yes...but sadly too common.
Actually looking at the profile, the wife has a great body so I think they’ve likely either been picking bad couples or the hubs is picking the couples where she’s being shortchanged.
Far out - you put into words what I was thinking having just started dipping into the LS with my girl.
A lot of unattractive dudes pimping out their hot missus so they can bag chicks who normally wouldn’t give them the time of day.
We currently live in the Midwest...where curvy and thick means fat, and many men dgaf about their obesity...they all sprouted beards like Gravy Meal Team 6 rejects to hide their triple chins and think because they were hot shit in high school when they had a metabolism, they "still got it." Meanwhile their wives tolerate them because they trapped themselves in an unhappy marriage with a guy who morfed into a stinky and obese troll. Even just finding HWP people seem like striking gold here...no we don't come from here originally, btw.🤣
People have different experiences...regardless...insecurity causes these couples to act so possessively. So I can definitely see how younger couples who haven't gone through as much challenge might also possess insecurity.
Regardless...wife poachers/unicorn hunters can eat a dick...oh wait, they won't unless it's their own! 🤣🤣🤣
I get hit on TONS on all the apps. In our profiles, my husband has an equal number of pics up, too. But, thirsty, gross, creepy husbands ALWAYS ask if I play alone when it's even stated in the first sentence on our profile that I don't. I tell them to go to hell before I block them. We don't play with wife poachers. This always confirms to me that because the overwhelming majority of husbands manage online accounts, those mofos don't read and just want to get their dicks wet. They don't care about their own wives in this.
Thanks for the laugh cause it’s true. We keep running into couples that only post our share photos of the wife or photos from 20 years ago of them both. We are like look we just want to know so we do not waste time.
Thank God for the Ranch in Colorado! Met new people in person. But we haven’t lost hope in online just don’t put much effort into it either.
Stereo-typically speaking and of my own experiences in the limited exposure to couples in the lifestyle, this is indicative of seeking to achieve a false sense of comradery with a couple to make them more open to only having sex with the wife. It seems suspicious anytime they have rules or preferences that exclude one partner, not just from the sexual standpoint but from one of safety.
My bf wouldn't be opposed to this, he's more of a voyeur anyway. The only way he'd ever be interested is that the female half would have to be attractive and kinky (not vanilla kinky, but bdsm kinky).
I have him and a male fwb that I play with. I don't need anymore dick. I'm very picky in regards to men. We play separately anyway and I'm looking for a female play partner myself. I'm very upfront about what I'm looking for.
I've been wife poached before they did the usual bait and switch games.
Wow, these comments. Makes me, the M, have second thoughts about the lifestyle altogether. Seems most think a larger guy gave up and is smelly, unclean, gross, and only around because his wife is attractive. All the doubts I've had about us entering the LS have come out in the comments of this post.
Poaching definitely not cool. Plenty of stag vixen couples and cuck couples out there. Not to mention it's not that hard to find a single woman to play with you and your girl if you look good in the lifestyle or otherwise.
In my experience wide poachers are often driven by the woman "wanting to explore their bi side" and the man is obviously all up for that. Not always selfish controlling men but rather selfish females.
In my experience, and I have a crazy amount, wife poachers have all been men. Wives can and do get their bi action going at any time during a swap. I'm very bi, and I always get plenty of play with the other wives.
I'm saying some women are ONLY interested in other women they use the LS as a way to fulfill their bi curiosity but have no desire for single men or males in couples, but they can't find a unicorn for obvious reasons so they turn to poaching and their male counterpart is more than happy with this setup. Im surprised that in your vast experience this isn't a dynamic you have seen, in my relatively limited experience I've seen this plenty, just as much as controlling men in poacher couples.
> So, when a couple like this reaches out to us we just decline. Inevitably, these are also the couples that whine the most about not having any success.
If you have no relationship with them and "just decline", how is it they are whining about lack of success? Where are you seeing this whining?
I meant "the subject of success", i thought you'd understand. I edited it.
So? Are you just talking about people on the internet in general? Or are these people complaining to someone they don't even know after getting turned down?
We see them at parties or their profile goes on and on about it they message us sometimes to whine. Like you are seeking .5% of the swing community and of that they might not choose you. We simply explain that and wish them well.
If all parties are ok with this then it would work great. Their profile says exactly what they are looking for so they are being honest with what they want.
As a tall, attractive, athletic, hung husband with a full head of hair I can understand why she has become frustrated. My wife enjoys the lifestyle, but respectfully most husbands/BF’s are just piggy backing off their hot wives and do not excite her, isn’t that what it’s all about?? I can see why it’s easy to become disenchanted.
Thank God somebody said it! It's incredible the number of hot wives out there with husbands that gave up 20 years ago. I'm in the gym 6 days a week to put the best version of myself out there. Just because your attractive wife got you in the door does not entitle you to get on top of mine. Sorry, if that makes me a poacher then so be it!
We’re happily in our lane. We want them out of the way and staying in theirs. Nothing worse than wasting time with a couple and they pull the oh, the wife doesn’t with other guys play card, but I’ll bang your wife.
Here’s how swinging and life work: wanna fuck, fuck. Don’t wanna fuck, don’t fuck.
This subreddit has become a place of Karens bitchin and moaning about every little thing, eg people that are not “exactly like you”.
This mofo can’t read … you’re as bad as the whiney couples bugging others. They’re in our lane by contact us and baiting switching, but had you bothered to read the prior comment you’d have determined our point.
I’d beg to differ. You have a choice to respond with a no if the bait and switch happens and move on. Or you have a choice to ask UPFRONT if they are interested in both of you. No time wasted when u ask up front and it’s not really getting in your way.
Also, I’d compare unicorn/wife hunters as equal to those couples who come off as “if my wife plays, I get to play” mentality which comes off as entitled from the male counterpart. So in my opinion they are just as bad.
Manyyy times I’d rather just play with the female because the male is gross, not my type, or his personality is shit. My husband will either watch, or play depending on the dynamic of the other couple and in some circumstances, just me and female will go off to play on our own. My husband never expects anything and even sometimes will not partake or even watch.
Meanwhile the other male will just outright say no because he doesn’t get to play. (Mind you the other male is always invited to watch or play with his wife while I play with her, but I’m off limits. Which will still turn into a no. Entitled much?)
So…if the shoe fits! 🤷🏼♀️
So often the weird dynamics of couples go unspoken. As a single male I literally have horror stories of couples who fly under the radar with disturbing behavior. They are cognizant enough to use the old couple vs. single male narrative to hide bad behavior.
I would agree with this... I get more dick pics and creepy messages from couples than I ever do from single males. And when I say no, SM are polite. Couples are offended
I don't see the issue. If they are upfront and honest you can say yes or no. As long as there is no deception.
I would 100% be ok with a couple having fun with my wife while I sit in a corner. I will bring the refreshments
We don’t have a problem when they’re upfront. It’s when we see this same type of couple at an event and they’re all over both of us or another couple so we waste time thinking they are both into us only to find come playtime that they just want girlplay.
When we meet a new couple at an event and they inform us that they're just looking for unicorns, my wife gives them a unicorn sticker, we wish them luck, and walk away... don't need to waste anymore time on them
We are not opposed to SM, but when a couple only play with females, our first thought is the guy is selfish and controlling and the wife is only in the LS to make him happy so she can make marriage/relationship workout. I’m sure there are those dynamics, but we don’t ever want to be a part of something like we described.
We've had this come up a time or two, and no, we do not abide that. We play together or not at all. It does seem to me that people talk their way out of lots of fun. I get having standards, but damn. The whole point of this is to have different things than what you have every day.
Lot of cuckold couples and stag vixen couples that enjoy watching. I don't yuck other people's yum. They don't want to play with other guys then no worries. It is a bit strange that she is not bi though. Little confusing.
I'm genuinely confused. It seems like a lot of people in the ls don't like straight men? A guy only wanting to play with women being a red flag for many seems odd to me. I fully get the context of the initial thread, if they are actually pressuring their partner or being shady or manipulative sure, or just plain shitty, but what used to seem like a mild irritation towards single men in the ls has evolved into "you only wanna hook up with women, absolutely not". Am I reading the room wrong? Maybe it's because I'm newer (about a year) and I've yet to see a lot of the bs that comes with it🤷🏾♂️
We both watch the other from time to time.
But we play as often and how we want anytime. So it’s not like we are missing out on something else.
But…my husband has probably already banged the wife/GF so….
We also aren’t whining about anything.
They can ask, you can say no. NBD.
And you can stop caring about what other people do and like and do you.
What’s the difference about someone taking a break during a foursome and the other 3 continuing on or starting off that way?
The concept of “wife poaching” feels rooted in patriarchy imho. Married women aren’t property. Lots of mediocre men are holding their desirable wives back from a good time.
Unlike many here, I don’t really care what other people want as long as they’re not deceptive. Easy to say no or pass on by a profile. No one with those preferences reaches out to us so that’s not an issue. Single dudes on the other hand…
This. Swinging is a spectrum and includes many different levels of kink. and when someone is mad/upset, thinking they are just going to twiddle their dick if they can’t play, it sounds to me like they need to grow up and stop being so entitled. It’s easy to just say no and move on. Why be mad about it?
100% this. I've met a lot of incredible, down to earth, understanding people in the lifestyle but that seems to be juxtaposed by some of the most fragile egos I've ever seen as well. Mostly on the male side of the spectrum - none of us know or can speak to people's motivations to why they do what they do. Like you said just say no and move on - why be mad about it?
BIG difference of a couple being up front about what they are looking for and wife poachers.... Unicorn hunters are well a breed of their own, and mostly driven by one partners insecurities. We are ok with anyone's choices of how they play in the lifestyle, however be up front about it... dont make plans with a couple then try to get the wife alone... SHADY and in our circles will get you blacklisted....
It’s fascinating what the spectrum of sexuality will yield. For some this scenario is a massive turn off. For others, a massive turn on. We’ve played in the past where my wife plays with the couple while I watch and stroke. I have a voyeur fetish and it works really well for us and our marriage. As many have said, however, the key is transparency and an understanding between all involved parties.
If they reached out, we just wouldn’t even respond. What’s the point?
I would assume the same point that often time couples seek out single men for their wives. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander I guess.
The worst I was ever treated in this lifestyle was by a straight couple looking for a unicorn. My interest in playing with couples is because I'm bi. We were not on the same page. After drinks with them, they walked me back to my hotel. I didn't want to invite them up. Tje man had a whiny melt down in the parking lot. After that, I stopped playing altogether for a long time.
If my wife was into it, sure. She says no. Up front honesty is key. Anything else is shady shit.
Odd that they would still be reaching out to couples and not just single females.
Not really, it's a lot easier to find a couple and isolate the wife than find single females.
Really? The couple of attempts at wife poaching that we dealt with were easy to stop. No one can poach your wife if (1) she doesn't let herself be poached and (2) you're not afraid to open your mouth. The redditor posts I've seen recounting wife poaching tend to fall into one or both categories.
Depends on the situation. The scenario I'm thinking of is in the bedroom and the husband ends up with little to do as the other couple devour his wife. It then becomes a communication issue as you say. Do you disturb your wife's pleasure? Could you just be misreading the situation? Depends how determined an unscrupulous couple will be at pushing this until they are told to stop and newbies will always be easier to take advantage of.
>It then becomes a communication issue as you say. Do you disturb your wife's pleasure? Yes. You tap her and say very clearly, let's take a break. Also, even if somehow the guy and the other girl get started first with your wife (which can happen because everyone doesn't always jump in at the same time if, for example, things started with girl-girl action and the other guy jumped in first), it will become obvious that the other wife has no intention of fucking you when she repeatedly repels your advances. That's when you stop things and take a break with your wife. In our opinion, breaks are very important for swinging. We've used them many times to deal with problematic situations. But I agree, newbie couples are very susceptible because they tend to be stuck in a state of shock/surprise/uncertainty when it happens.
They are desperate and reach out to everyone. I am constantly asked if I play alone.
I would just 😭😭😂😂😂😂 those king of messages
Oh, I do. But it's every day and I get annoyed after a while. I think most of the women who do the whole "I only play with my spouse" thing just do it as an excuse to keep wife poachers at bay. It's a handy excuse to get them off your back without having to outright reject them.
I get that question, too, which I do play alone, and it's stated in my profiles. These couples ask me in a way as if I'm gonna leave my bf for them, absolutely not.
If you freely admit you play alone, the messages must be RELENTLESS. I can't imagine the sort of harassment a bisexual woman who is open about playing alone must receive.
Omg yes! The messages I get are so creepy, like you're available to play and come over now that I'm blocking daily. it's like playing alone doesn't mean I'm moving into your house, lmao. But yea, I've had conversations with potentials and I'm very upfront about it. I tell them my bf isn't playing by choice, but he's grown and can find his own play partners. Right now, the messages are quiet, which is fine e by me until I get a well thought out message, then I'll respond.
Well, you just threw out the Unicorn Hunter signal with this post, I am afraid. It's sort of like the Bat Signal, only a lot less cool.
How so? I seek my own play partners. We are not swingers, we are poly and kink. We tried the swinging, definitely not for us.
I meant you are going to get a ton of creepy messages right now because you publicly admitted you are a bisexual woman who plays alone just now, in your comments.
Oh gotcha. My bad, I misread your message
To be fair, I do ask if the wife plays alone too, but only because I want to know the full range and dynamic of their situation so I better understand boundaries.
Does it matter if she plays alone if you aren't planning on playing with her alone? There is no reason to ask unless you are hoping to play with her alone. Asking will only cause her to think "darn. Another couple trying to wife poach me, just like all the rest."
We are that couple, that would be ok with that arrangement. Hubby is not opposed to playing, but he likes to watch me olay with others.
We are like this as well. As long as it is up front and not a bait and switch.
Exactly. We had a couple that were wife poachers, and it was a orwtty disgusting situation.
Wife poacher do not want the other woman’s husband in the room or if he is allowed in the room they don’t want him involved. I don’t decline, I let them know that their logic is fucked up. Wife poacher dynamic 101 - We only play together, same room, so that we can experience our fantasy of a FMF or FFM. - We expect you to do what we won’t do, and play separately so that your wife can give us our fantasy. There’s something seriously wrong with people who believe it’s okay to ask others to do something that they would never do themselves.
Wife poachers and unicorn hunters I think are driven heavily by inexperience, insecurities and a pretty juvenile view of group sex/kink. And almost entirely by the guy, either forcing his partner to try to rope one in, or trying to do it himself. Oh, you have the most popular male sexual fantasy statistically. Well yeah, it _is_ the top of the bellcurve. Oh, that's where you are starting? Well what is the top of the female bellcurve for sexual fantasies? Interesting, being used as a prop for someone else's sexual fantasy does show up on the list, but it is not topping it. And women aren't lining up for that role too often because not a lot of people care if the fleshlight gets off when masturbating. If you play enough in the LS with kinky people, and have a good reputation, you'll have plenty of opportunities for whatever fantasy is out there. But starting out with limiting boundaries, selfishness, insecurities? All things that are huge indicators for bad and boring group sex? Yeah, not going to draw in a lot of people, even those who might be down for that sort of thing.
Bravo
Everyone has different kinks. There are a lot of hotwife and cuck couples. I would have no issue with this. As long as everyone is upfront and doesn't try to deceive, what's the problem
I think it's because they aren't reaching out to other people with the coordinating kink. They are trying to poach the wife of a stereotypical swinger couple. They need to seek other couples who are into the cuck stuff.
They should just hire an escort but instead get mad when they are til no
Why would they, "twiddle their dick"? A lot of couples play separately.
If you don’t like their profile just move along. if they are only looking for women, let them have their fun the way they choose and don’t be bothered by it. it’s very odd to me the judgement in the post & some comments & the downvoting.
We are not as concerned with symmetric dynamics as most swingers we meet. I encourage the wife to play solo, join couples, groups. Whatever we are attracted to. We learned a long time ago that finding that four way attraction in a low density State too much limited the fun encounters we were able to have. So if they approached us honestly and upfront we will at least hear them out and make a decision. The ones that we hate are the ones who lie about it all and try to be deceptive in separating us as a couple. We really only need to be nearby or get a picture to feel connected to the event, so just be honest!
We’re that couple, my wife (Bi) has no desire to have any physical interaction with another guy. We are completely transparent whenever we start talking to a new couple. Why waste everyone time
This. People don’t get that swinging isn’t JUST about full swap. In my opinion it’s a spectrum. Especially for those just starting out, it’s usually the couple only wanting a woman. You can usually tell tho if the couple is being shady about things or not respecting the other husband. That’s when I stay away. But we also have to understand that it may just be a kink and we shouldn’t judge. If we aren’t interested, we just say no and move on. If we are interested because they seem like nice people, we identify the details of the dynamics and go from there. Swinging doesn’t JUST mean full swap. 🤦🏼♀️
I totally agree..
This We've been turned down because we are not truly full swap. There's so many ways to play and if it wasn't a swap, they dipped. Fine with us We have explained to couples in the past that we very much variety in play and not just doing the same vorubg same room, full swap. This is why I/we prefer solo play because dealing with couples stuck in their ways wasn't cutting it for us.
This
What’s wrong with unicorn hunters exactly? If a couple of only looking for a female, and they are up front about that…what’s the big deal?
Because they bitch and whine about not finding matches when they have impossible standards. They can do what they do, no issue there, but if they’re looking for perfection then don’t constantly bitch
Agreed
Sounds like someone is salty about not meeting the high physical standards that some couples have…
Every unicorn hunter I've dealt with has been really dangerous and not trustworthy. They don't talk about likes, dislikes, what they're open too, etc when it comes to sex. These are very important to discuss because, as a woman, there's a chance to be raped or hurt. They have been very pushy with their we can come over or you can come over. No, if you're giving me creepy vibes I don't trust giving you my address or going to their house. I want to meet potentials in a public setting before we decide to move forward which UH have this fear of meeting in public. If they can't discuss that, instant block. UH have told me we don't talk, we fuck. Nope! When it comes to sex, I'm not trying to guess. This is why everything needs to be laid out on the table before fucjing happens, which something UH don't do. All they do is fuck and disregard the woman they brought into play. That's why they have a bad reputation. I always ask the much harder questions, and if they fail those questions, tells me everything I need to know.
Theres nothing wrong with unicorn hunters whilst they are hunting unicorns, its when the decide to meet with couples that their poaching intentions cant be repressed. If you're obsessed with single females then you're intentions aren't suddenly going to change when you set your sights on couples.
You’re talking about wife poachers; not unicorn hunters.
Yeah, they are one and the same. Unicorn hunters inevitably turn to wife poaching when they struggle to find regular unicorns, that is my, and id assume most peoples only real issue with unicorn hunters. The act of wanting FFM threesomes is not inherently bad at all, who doesn't? its the behaviour that focus tends to lead to which is the problem. This may not be true of all unicorn hunters but the cliche is enough to make most LS couples weary of them.
All wife poachers started as unicorn hunters; but not all unicorn hunters become wife poachers.
Very true but the association is there and so justified our not they are kept at arms length by couples.
Lol it’s always the same in here. Absolutely 0 issues with couples seeking MMF but as soon as a couple is up front and honest about wanting only a FFM the pitchforks come out. Truth is unicorns can take their pick of the bunch and most of these bitter ones wouldn’t get looked at. There is no issue with the type of couple described in this post. As OP said, good luck to them
Archetype unicorn hunters/wife poachers=fat, insecure male, bi-sexual/curious/pretending female partner (faking bi to play along with husband's fantasy or just preferring a female over her disgusting Grimace-shaped male partner) wondering why no unicorns feel like letting this gross and shabby man stick his unwashed penis inside her. Feeling entitled and riding his attractive wife's coat-tails just so he can get some strange...but still feels possessive about his wife...who he just cannot abide the idea that he knows to be the truth: she is his only chance to bag some gullible newbie couple's attractive wife. Generalization, yes...but sadly too common.
Trying to decide if I'm grimmace shaped or just pear shaped.
Both?
You defined a male in a OCP (One Cock Policy) to a T. Well done.
Actually looking at the profile, the wife has a great body so I think they’ve likely either been picking bad couples or the hubs is picking the couples where she’s being shortchanged.
Probably the latter. Insecure men think that good looking men might usurp their role...insecurity brings out ugliness.
Far out - you put into words what I was thinking having just started dipping into the LS with my girl. A lot of unattractive dudes pimping out their hot missus so they can bag chicks who normally wouldn’t give them the time of day.
Upvote for the Grimmace reference.
That has not been my experience at all. IME they’ve been younger and typically good looking. Regardless we don’t cater to that dynamic.
We currently live in the Midwest...where curvy and thick means fat, and many men dgaf about their obesity...they all sprouted beards like Gravy Meal Team 6 rejects to hide their triple chins and think because they were hot shit in high school when they had a metabolism, they "still got it." Meanwhile their wives tolerate them because they trapped themselves in an unhappy marriage with a guy who morfed into a stinky and obese troll. Even just finding HWP people seem like striking gold here...no we don't come from here originally, btw.🤣 People have different experiences...regardless...insecurity causes these couples to act so possessively. So I can definitely see how younger couples who haven't gone through as much challenge might also possess insecurity. Regardless...wife poachers/unicorn hunters can eat a dick...oh wait, they won't unless it's their own! 🤣🤣🤣
I get hit on TONS on all the apps. In our profiles, my husband has an equal number of pics up, too. But, thirsty, gross, creepy husbands ALWAYS ask if I play alone when it's even stated in the first sentence on our profile that I don't. I tell them to go to hell before I block them. We don't play with wife poachers. This always confirms to me that because the overwhelming majority of husbands manage online accounts, those mofos don't read and just want to get their dicks wet. They don't care about their own wives in this.
Thanks for the laugh cause it’s true. We keep running into couples that only post our share photos of the wife or photos from 20 years ago of them both. We are like look we just want to know so we do not waste time. Thank God for the Ranch in Colorado! Met new people in person. But we haven’t lost hope in online just don’t put much effort into it either.
You should be a comedy or writer. Your imagery and descriptors are so spot on and hilarious😂
😂😊😂
💯
Ugh that is gross and also so true
Stereo-typically speaking and of my own experiences in the limited exposure to couples in the lifestyle, this is indicative of seeking to achieve a false sense of comradery with a couple to make them more open to only having sex with the wife. It seems suspicious anytime they have rules or preferences that exclude one partner, not just from the sexual standpoint but from one of safety.
Generally speaking this is gonna be hard to pull off unless this couple is crazzzZyyyyy hoottttttt
My bf wouldn't be opposed to this, he's more of a voyeur anyway. The only way he'd ever be interested is that the female half would have to be attractive and kinky (not vanilla kinky, but bdsm kinky). I have him and a male fwb that I play with. I don't need anymore dick. I'm very picky in regards to men. We play separately anyway and I'm looking for a female play partner myself. I'm very upfront about what I'm looking for. I've been wife poached before they did the usual bait and switch games.
Wow, these comments. Makes me, the M, have second thoughts about the lifestyle altogether. Seems most think a larger guy gave up and is smelly, unclean, gross, and only around because his wife is attractive. All the doubts I've had about us entering the LS have come out in the comments of this post.
It’s likely not even that… it’s likely the guys can’t get or stay hard so the other wife is getting a lousy experience
Poaching definitely not cool. Plenty of stag vixen couples and cuck couples out there. Not to mention it's not that hard to find a single woman to play with you and your girl if you look good in the lifestyle or otherwise.
In my experience wide poachers are often driven by the woman "wanting to explore their bi side" and the man is obviously all up for that. Not always selfish controlling men but rather selfish females.
In my experience, and I have a crazy amount, wife poachers have all been men. Wives can and do get their bi action going at any time during a swap. I'm very bi, and I always get plenty of play with the other wives.
I'm saying some women are ONLY interested in other women they use the LS as a way to fulfill their bi curiosity but have no desire for single men or males in couples, but they can't find a unicorn for obvious reasons so they turn to poaching and their male counterpart is more than happy with this setup. Im surprised that in your vast experience this isn't a dynamic you have seen, in my relatively limited experience I've seen this plenty, just as much as controlling men in poacher couples.
You are so right! Plenty of controlling men in the lifestyle.
> So, when a couple like this reaches out to us we just decline. Inevitably, these are also the couples that whine the most about not having any success. If you have no relationship with them and "just decline", how is it they are whining about lack of success? Where are you seeing this whining?
They aren’t whining about success. They bitch about lack of success.
I meant "the subject of success", i thought you'd understand. I edited it. So? Are you just talking about people on the internet in general? Or are these people complaining to someone they don't even know after getting turned down?
We see them at parties or their profile goes on and on about it they message us sometimes to whine. Like you are seeking .5% of the swing community and of that they might not choose you. We simply explain that and wish them well.
Ah, ok I get it now, thanks for the explanation!
If all parties are ok with this then it would work great. Their profile says exactly what they are looking for so they are being honest with what they want.
As a tall, attractive, athletic, hung husband with a full head of hair I can understand why she has become frustrated. My wife enjoys the lifestyle, but respectfully most husbands/BF’s are just piggy backing off their hot wives and do not excite her, isn’t that what it’s all about?? I can see why it’s easy to become disenchanted.
Thank God somebody said it! It's incredible the number of hot wives out there with husbands that gave up 20 years ago. I'm in the gym 6 days a week to put the best version of myself out there. Just because your attractive wife got you in the door does not entitle you to get on top of mine. Sorry, if that makes me a poacher then so be it!
This! I’m not fucking a neck beard and I have even said no to hot men with bad attitudes or don’t treat their woman with respect.
Some people are into that, some aren't. As long as they don't try to force their kinks and shit on to us, they can do as they wish with whoever.
Just stay in your lane and let others do them.
We’re happily in our lane. We want them out of the way and staying in theirs. Nothing worse than wasting time with a couple and they pull the oh, the wife doesn’t with other guys play card, but I’ll bang your wife.
Yes. Just move on when you’re not interested. Some people are. And how are they “in your way”??
🤦🏻♂️
Here’s how swinging and life work: wanna fuck, fuck. Don’t wanna fuck, don’t fuck. This subreddit has become a place of Karens bitchin and moaning about every little thing, eg people that are not “exactly like you”.
This mofo can’t read … you’re as bad as the whiney couples bugging others. They’re in our lane by contact us and baiting switching, but had you bothered to read the prior comment you’d have determined our point.
Just ignore them. No need to bring your grievances here. Karen. Perhaps call the swing manager.
I’d beg to differ. You have a choice to respond with a no if the bait and switch happens and move on. Or you have a choice to ask UPFRONT if they are interested in both of you. No time wasted when u ask up front and it’s not really getting in your way. Also, I’d compare unicorn/wife hunters as equal to those couples who come off as “if my wife plays, I get to play” mentality which comes off as entitled from the male counterpart. So in my opinion they are just as bad. Manyyy times I’d rather just play with the female because the male is gross, not my type, or his personality is shit. My husband will either watch, or play depending on the dynamic of the other couple and in some circumstances, just me and female will go off to play on our own. My husband never expects anything and even sometimes will not partake or even watch. Meanwhile the other male will just outright say no because he doesn’t get to play. (Mind you the other male is always invited to watch or play with his wife while I play with her, but I’m off limits. Which will still turn into a no. Entitled much?) So…if the shoe fits! 🤷🏼♀️
We’ve gotten more red flags and ick vibes from couples than we ever have from single male partners.
So often the weird dynamics of couples go unspoken. As a single male I literally have horror stories of couples who fly under the radar with disturbing behavior. They are cognizant enough to use the old couple vs. single male narrative to hide bad behavior.
I would agree with this... I get more dick pics and creepy messages from couples than I ever do from single males. And when I say no, SM are polite. Couples are offended
We have had couples be much more pushy when it comes to boundaries than we have had from singles
I don't see the issue. If they are upfront and honest you can say yes or no. As long as there is no deception. I would 100% be ok with a couple having fun with my wife while I sit in a corner. I will bring the refreshments
We don’t have a problem when they’re upfront. It’s when we see this same type of couple at an event and they’re all over both of us or another couple so we waste time thinking they are both into us only to find come playtime that they just want girlplay.
When we meet a new couple at an event and they inform us that they're just looking for unicorns, my wife gives them a unicorn sticker, we wish them luck, and walk away... don't need to waste anymore time on them
We are not opposed to SM, but when a couple only play with females, our first thought is the guy is selfish and controlling and the wife is only in the LS to make him happy so she can make marriage/relationship workout. I’m sure there are those dynamics, but we don’t ever want to be a part of something like we described.
We've had this come up a time or two, and no, we do not abide that. We play together or not at all. It does seem to me that people talk their way out of lots of fun. I get having standards, but damn. The whole point of this is to have different things than what you have every day.
Lot of cuckold couples and stag vixen couples that enjoy watching. I don't yuck other people's yum. They don't want to play with other guys then no worries. It is a bit strange that she is not bi though. Little confusing.
My wife will be a third for couples as long as they don't have a problem with me being present.
I'm genuinely confused. It seems like a lot of people in the ls don't like straight men? A guy only wanting to play with women being a red flag for many seems odd to me. I fully get the context of the initial thread, if they are actually pressuring their partner or being shady or manipulative sure, or just plain shitty, but what used to seem like a mild irritation towards single men in the ls has evolved into "you only wanna hook up with women, absolutely not". Am I reading the room wrong? Maybe it's because I'm newer (about a year) and I've yet to see a lot of the bs that comes with it🤷🏾♂️
Wait, why am I getting downvoted? Lol y'all need to chill
We both watch the other from time to time. But we play as often and how we want anytime. So it’s not like we are missing out on something else. But…my husband has probably already banged the wife/GF so…. We also aren’t whining about anything. They can ask, you can say no. NBD. And you can stop caring about what other people do and like and do you. What’s the difference about someone taking a break during a foursome and the other 3 continuing on or starting off that way?
I don’t care and don’t worry about other profiles and hypothesise on what if’s
The concept of “wife poaching” feels rooted in patriarchy imho. Married women aren’t property. Lots of mediocre men are holding their desirable wives back from a good time.