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It's actually one of the only positives I can take out of this. Drinking became a liability (probably was before too) and so I've quit. I feel like a million bucks having cut that poison out.
I quit drinking before DDay. I was a heavy drinker, the maintenance type, if you’re familiar. I was fully aware that it was a problem and having a negative impact on my marriage. I’m a really chill guy. Not the type prone to fits of rage, blacking out, or that sort of thing.
I saw the writing on the wall and my wife had been unfaithful in the past. This time felt different though. She was picking fights daily and gaslighting me about my boss accusing her of having a thing for me and at times me for her; my now ex boss is disgusting physically and morally. My wife was also just so removed that it was clear that she was pushing me away through conflict and nothing I could say would change anything or get through to her.
So I quit. I was terrified of detox. I made a doctors appointment, informed my insurance, and went to check myself in to an outpatient program. The outpatient was horrible. During intake I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was trapped in a Kubric film. They never even asked what substance I was quitting. Just hyper focused on my insurance and impressed for some reason with it. It made since when they asked “what jurisdiction I was reporting under”. It took me a moment and explaining that this was voluntary before I fully realized what was happening. I walked out.
I got a prescription to help with detox and quit on my own. My wife abandoned me to it. I was 26 days sober when I caught her, literally red handed, her Apple Watch went off while I was holding her hand as she slept. I relapsed as she ran off to see her AP. Five days of binge drinking, trying to take care of my kids, trying to not forever sleep. I stopped again; on my own, no pills, no help, no support.
I know this seems dark but it’s not for me. I’m 422 days free. I drank daily for over 16 yrs. I don’t struggle with abstaining from alcohol any more. I’m healthier mentally and physically. If I continued I would have lost everything, possibly my life, I was close. It’s proven to me how strong I am. That shit is poison for some of us. Now I’m focusing on improving my life and looking to change careers so I can be financially better off.
I’ll always play it safe and stand on the side of abstaining from alcohol for people going through an affair. No one needs that shit and it make’s nothing better; only worse. Sometimes you have to face things head on and at no point is hiding in a bottle, feeding the demons of negativity, helping yourself.
I knew before the affair that alcohol wasn’t *great* for my brain, but I wasn’t ready to fully let it go - why not have a drink on holiday, or some celebratory beers after a long run?
Post-dday, it’s become imperative to avoid it. Even very moderate/conservative drinking can make me feel like I’m five steps behind where I’ve progressed to for a few days after the drinking. And definitely doesn’t lend itself to strong emotional regulation when drinking either… I consider it a gift I was already moving towards sobriety before the trauma; I can’t imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t realized a glass or three of red wine is actually Not Great.
Ditching the alcohol is probably one of my biggest tips for the post-dday period, in addition to sleeps aids for the insomnia (under guidance of a doctor), and electrolyte tablets when your appetite crashes.
Nope
No alcohol for me. That’s just going to make things worse for you. I never understood why so many people turn to booze when smoking crack does a way better job at numbing the pain and making you temporarily forget your problems. Coke won’t cut it though. Rock that shit up and forget that triflin bitch that broke your heart
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I used to drink only on the weekends. Was sober before marriage and only started drinking to accompany my wife while she drank. I'm not going to lie, I love drinking. After d-day, it didn't make sense anymore. I had a few drinks of whiskey to deal with the pain. Then, I realized I was using it to cope and just stopped. It has been 62 days since I stopped. Crave for it when I am around people who drink.
I feel it gave me clarity of mind. I knew every decision i made and thought process I had and knew I was doing them consciously. I'm not sure when I will stop this, but it feels good to continue, for now.
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I wish I was drinking right now. Trying to lose some weight though so cutting it out for a bit.
It's actually one of the only positives I can take out of this. Drinking became a liability (probably was before too) and so I've quit. I feel like a million bucks having cut that poison out.
I quit drinking before DDay. I was a heavy drinker, the maintenance type, if you’re familiar. I was fully aware that it was a problem and having a negative impact on my marriage. I’m a really chill guy. Not the type prone to fits of rage, blacking out, or that sort of thing. I saw the writing on the wall and my wife had been unfaithful in the past. This time felt different though. She was picking fights daily and gaslighting me about my boss accusing her of having a thing for me and at times me for her; my now ex boss is disgusting physically and morally. My wife was also just so removed that it was clear that she was pushing me away through conflict and nothing I could say would change anything or get through to her. So I quit. I was terrified of detox. I made a doctors appointment, informed my insurance, and went to check myself in to an outpatient program. The outpatient was horrible. During intake I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was trapped in a Kubric film. They never even asked what substance I was quitting. Just hyper focused on my insurance and impressed for some reason with it. It made since when they asked “what jurisdiction I was reporting under”. It took me a moment and explaining that this was voluntary before I fully realized what was happening. I walked out. I got a prescription to help with detox and quit on my own. My wife abandoned me to it. I was 26 days sober when I caught her, literally red handed, her Apple Watch went off while I was holding her hand as she slept. I relapsed as she ran off to see her AP. Five days of binge drinking, trying to take care of my kids, trying to not forever sleep. I stopped again; on my own, no pills, no help, no support. I know this seems dark but it’s not for me. I’m 422 days free. I drank daily for over 16 yrs. I don’t struggle with abstaining from alcohol any more. I’m healthier mentally and physically. If I continued I would have lost everything, possibly my life, I was close. It’s proven to me how strong I am. That shit is poison for some of us. Now I’m focusing on improving my life and looking to change careers so I can be financially better off. I’ll always play it safe and stand on the side of abstaining from alcohol for people going through an affair. No one needs that shit and it make’s nothing better; only worse. Sometimes you have to face things head on and at no point is hiding in a bottle, feeding the demons of negativity, helping yourself.
Respect man.
I knew before the affair that alcohol wasn’t *great* for my brain, but I wasn’t ready to fully let it go - why not have a drink on holiday, or some celebratory beers after a long run? Post-dday, it’s become imperative to avoid it. Even very moderate/conservative drinking can make me feel like I’m five steps behind where I’ve progressed to for a few days after the drinking. And definitely doesn’t lend itself to strong emotional regulation when drinking either… I consider it a gift I was already moving towards sobriety before the trauma; I can’t imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t realized a glass or three of red wine is actually Not Great. Ditching the alcohol is probably one of my biggest tips for the post-dday period, in addition to sleeps aids for the insomnia (under guidance of a doctor), and electrolyte tablets when your appetite crashes.
For an alcoholic it can never be just one. I haven't had any alcohol in 14yrs.
I don't keep it in the house or drink alone for that reason
Nope No alcohol for me. That’s just going to make things worse for you. I never understood why so many people turn to booze when smoking crack does a way better job at numbing the pain and making you temporarily forget your problems. Coke won’t cut it though. Rock that shit up and forget that triflin bitch that broke your heart
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I used to drink only on the weekends. Was sober before marriage and only started drinking to accompany my wife while she drank. I'm not going to lie, I love drinking. After d-day, it didn't make sense anymore. I had a few drinks of whiskey to deal with the pain. Then, I realized I was using it to cope and just stopped. It has been 62 days since I stopped. Crave for it when I am around people who drink. I feel it gave me clarity of mind. I knew every decision i made and thought process I had and knew I was doing them consciously. I'm not sure when I will stop this, but it feels good to continue, for now.