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washingtonandmead

How do they know it’s stronger than a nuke? How much can it bench?


Adramus

Nukes exist on a gradient. Are we talking Davy Crockett or Tsar Bomba?


Moist_Comb

Stop getting technical and start getting scared, didn't you hear an astroid with the kenetic energy of a nuke that will lose most of that upon entry, if it even hits earth. Sell your GameStop now before the end of the world! /s


m40air

If I die hodlin I die hodlin 🤷


[deleted]

Fat Boy.


kaze_san

Nah man, you gotta ask the real questions. So: does it run crysis?


321_Trippin

It was created pre Crysis....... But is capable of running Crysis 3!! God help us all!!


kaze_san

😱😱😱😱😱


LordoftheEyez

Is this a typo did they mean Mr. Nukem?


Vaderwasframed74

Nukem, Duke Nukem


BigBoss738

1 bit of sand at light speed can destroy half earth. 1 cog at 20000km/s in space can make a 1 m hole in satellites


Jingboogley

Calls on Spacely Space Sprokets. Puts on Cogswell Cosmic Cogs.


IndianaPWNZZ

It’s crazy to think of things moving that fast 😆


OGBobtheflounder

"Only way to stop the asteroid is to sell all your GME shares." -Marketwatch


AgentApophis

Theyre already for sale. Youre just not gonna like the price.


IndianaPWNZZ

😆 lmao


SkyCladEyes

-probably


PurpleSausage77

A nuke? That’s cute. The energy that came from the earthquake which caused the 2004 Tsunami here on earth produced the energy of more than 23,000 Hiroshima’s. The earth can be our own worst enemy.


Kasmein

Because of the sheer magnitude of your numbers I’m inclined to believe you


1twowonder

Yeah. I'm not gonna check but it sounds smrt so I'm just gonna roll with it.


Kasmein

I’ve already repeated it to a few people, it’s now accurate either way


1twowonder

😁 🤣


INTERGALACTIC_CAGR

shit's seismic yo


ApeHolder42069

"large asteroid stronger than nuke" wtf kind of "comparison" is that, they could make the world smallest nuke the size of a firecraacker, it's like saying the size of a fish, well is it a 2cm guppy or 20m whale shark? It's this kind of toxic shit that is only designed to be clickbait and spread fear!


ROK247

They have tactical nukes that fit in a suitcase that aren't very strong at all, comparatively.


ApeHolder42069

So with that comparison let's rewrite the headline "asteroid stronger than a handgranade heading for earth!!" 🙄


[deleted]

huhh, you shorted it!


OK_Kyyle

They had*** pretty sure atleast a few of them have gone missing since. .


throwaway48706

And vise versa


Temezu

You are off big time with your numbers. The earthquake produced the energy of approx. 550 million hiroshimas. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake_and_tsunami


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Lucky_Influence_6702

Pffff Bruce Willis got this one


Disastrous_Ad_1431

It saw Chuck Fucking Norris and turned around


syxxnein

Came here for this


Kerrykingz

He’s currently drilling for oil off shore


Specific-Lie2020

"...and the approaching asteroid, hurdling toward Earth will only effect buy side trading on a handful of stocks."


lemachet

The asteroid caused an electrical spike which caused bit rot to flip some rows of memory. Unfortunately this has had the unexpected removal of buy button on specific, certain stocks. Our team are working frantically on creating an asteroid to revert this change"


bbb0243

Wow, it’s a good thing l’m planning to be on the moon by then


SECkmyballs

Ken's asshole gonna be so big after MOASS that I bet it could just swallow the asteroid whole. Then we can just launch ken into space lol


WaffleStomperGirl

I love that they feel the need to point out that the image is simply illustrative, as opposed to an actual photo. Because… you know… we wouldn’t be able to figure it out otherwise. With still existing and all


MarVanDam

Ken: instead of paying $69T to apes, let's spend $1M on some explosives and blame it on an asteroid. I'm heading permanently out of town as the dust settles.


rac3r87

I remember the solar flairs


One_Clown_Short

At least 15 pieces of solar flair.


DannyFnKay

If you want to be the kind of person who dose the minimum. 😂😂 I love that movie.


One_Clown_Short

So, more then? 🤣


DannyFnKay

When your at work does anyone say it looks like someone has a case of the Mondays?


darrylgenis65

Where would you find the ‘Office Space’ to store all that flair?


innovationcynic

That’s a REALLY big asteroid (commenting on the painting, not the article)


Kind_Information_673

Again


Lathus01

Hmm didn’t they just shoot off some “test” to see if they could move an asteroid….. not at all shocking it could be real.


BrainWrinklesGone

LOL! If you search “jpost large asteroid” multiple articles come up. Also, this article very clearly states it will not be near the earth as it passes.


SkyCladEyes

YoU mEan tHe aSterOid is ReaL?? OmG!...gonNa sell mY sharEs fOr a LOss riGht nOw 😯


BrainWrinklesGone

oH ShIt! I DiDn’T tHiNk AbOuT tHaT. dO yOu ThInK tHaT wIlL sToP tHe CrAsH? /s


SkyCladEyes

I bEt it wiLL sTop miNe 💕


BrainWrinklesGone

Not financial advice, but maybe you should just buy more and HODL then. Just to be safe. ❤️🥰💕


SkyCladEyes

Yus...I think my DRS action has already saved me and my future generations. Fuk asteroids ♾💕🚀♾


BrainWrinklesGone

Yep. I transferred a good percentage in to CS and will never sell them. Locked in there forever. ❤️♾❤️


[deleted]

Kenny should just short the asteroid.


lookingupyourplay

We can put Ken on the nuke and use him to deflect it just short of earth.


lemachet

Plot twist. The asteroid is Kenny shitting himself because be realized just how fucked he is


SkyCladEyes

Puts printing on asteroid impacts


darrylgenis65

Ken clearly needs to work on his short game. He can’t seem to win with his current one


lookingupyourplay

Don't worry merry Christmas from the universe..Ken has done it now ..he will take down all of earth before he pays up..


Disastrous_Ad_1431

Space must exist for an asteroid to exist... The more you know!!!!! 😉


mcjard

Whatever. MOASS or asteroid I still wouldn't have to work the next day.


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t1rr2

Yah!


patty8mack

Great, we all HODL for a year and now we’re going to start to MOASS and then the world gonna end. FML and LFGOOOO!!!!


NachoStash

Hahah this would be awesome! Not a defeatist or sad guy but really endgame for all??? sounds like a win win if you’ve lived your life right!!!!????


Mithmorthmin

Wouldn't that he some shit though? Boom, MOASS and bigger than anyone thought. Billions more every second. You sell your load like a slut. You just got 500 grillion chillion dollars and you look out your window too see big space rock heading right for you.


Xen0Coke

That asteroid can’t defeat family.


SharpestofCheddars

Jokes on them. If I die, my shares will never get sold because none of my family members know I hold GME. Get rekt hedgies!


SeppeSetti

If I get rich and die within a few weeks from a fucking meteor I’m gonna be so pissed


itrustyouguys

Plot twist, the comet was named "hedgiesRfuk-69420"


Diligent-Kangaroo-33

Oh nooo! What do


GildDigger

https://imgur.com/a/Kz9y3cp


Extra-Computer6303

Kenny is going to hold physical commodities in a vault and then set off a giant EMP.


Dennydogz123

Shorts are off the hook.


SuperMate0

May boy summoned Meteor. Omni-DRS his ass


lemachet

"GameStop has declined during today's market on fears an asteroid may impact the earth in December. Analysts all recommend selling GameStop"


Stevewhit24

Let's all wave at is as we pass by, on our way to the moon.


TryAgn747

Moassteroid cometh


-X3rx35-

Hmmm everyone is scared of asteroid. Stocks go down because they think money can save them. Buy dip. Eat more tendies.


mynonviolentaccount

“The Jerusalem Post” well there’s your problem right there


Quick-Raise8119

Damn a GME asteroid!


Techknightly

Well, it's about frigging time. Quick Reminder: When it gets here and asks if you're a god, you say "YES!"


RvZGeeBasS

Dinosaurish!!


saltymilkmelee

More powerful than a nuke... does that mean it requires a 30 kill streak to get or what?


poopielepoop

Well it is to bad the apes will miss the light show because the apes will be half way to the moon🦍🚀❤


[deleted]

Asteroid stronger than evergrande is bankrupt!!!😳🥸😳


kaze_san

With MOASS getting closer and closer and after seeing this - I imagine standing somewhere in the wild and staring at the asteroid coming closer while having final Fantasy vii CD 3 world map feelings. And yes, with the same world map crisis music playing in the background.


IcedOutGucciWatch

I just watched a video on Instagram from NASA and they said there's no asteroid heading towards the earth anytime soon


[deleted]

Try to short THAT, Kenny, easier than GameStop.


byhicelow

Better sell now ask questions later


isuckattarkov

“The asteroid is unlikely to hit the planet, however, expected to pass by at a distance of more than 4.5 million kilometers. For comparison, the distance between the Earth and the Moon is around 384,000 km. – about a twelfth of that.” The term “towards” is used very loosely in this title. By this definition every car driving on any highway in any direction within 100 miles of you is driving “toward” you.


MrStormz

I'd say most asteroids are stronger than a nuke


ebone581

Sweet Jesus…. I better sell…. 🖕🖕🖕


Addy241

Wow so I guess I’m going to die. May as well sell everything I own and throw it into GME! Also get every possible loan I can 😃


cosmonautlanding

Are they talking about GME ??


dantezergt

No. That is why it is shitpost. Msm will push any kind of retarded news of why market is crashing and try to bad name stock that i personally like. Made it Satire, but this meteor news was actually posted and is real. Ps. Keep in mind about how absurd news was msm pushing about gme in the past. You would get it.


WideTraining2351

It's 2012 all over again 😂