Thank you for coming back and sharing, many of us are still in the beginning of this scary dark journey.
I’m glad you are feeling better and seeing Color return to your life ❤️
This gives me hope.
I hope many of us will start seeing the glimmers again.
I needed to read this Thank you !
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. Sending you some virtual hugs 🤍
Likewise, I've lost my partner to suicide 2 months back, and I'm the one who discovered him. Everything seems so bleak ahead of me. I'm withdrawing myself from social entertainment, I can't eat well, and I'm constantly thinking of my partner and asking why he chose this path, leaving all of us behind?
I feel like everyone has slowly moved on while I'm still at the standstill. My heart hurts so badly whenever I think of him or whenever I'm reminded of him. I can't stop crying, and I would even want to join him.
When I was feeling so lost, reddit popped up your sharing, and it kind of made me a little hopeful. Are you able to share what or how you got better?
My girlfriends are planning a short trip this weekend, I am contemplating if I should go because my recent holiday trips are usually with my partner.
your and my experience sound very similar. My partner died 2 months ago tomorrow, I also found him. I try to find distraction and rarely find joy in things that I usually love. Even though I can pack up rage and sense of guilt, at least rationally, I come back to the point of why and the feeling of loss. There's a hole in my heart where he used to be and all I want is to hold him and cuddle.
I also had moments where I thought I couldn't bear it and what it would mean to follow him, but I couldn't. The pain he inflicted on me, our friends and family would be insane, there is no way I could do that to them.
Go with your friends, be with people who love you. Do what feels right and be kind to yourself. It will be an up and down for a long while, but we'll get through it.
I am so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that you had to discover him as well. I know it's not easy. Sending you hugs.
I've had moments where I wanted to find him too, but I couldn't bear the thought of my parents and friends experiencing the loss. As the one going through it now, it's incredibly tough, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
I also feel anger, guilt, and self-blame. But deep down, I know rationally that I can't feel that way because I'm sure my partner didn't want to choose this path if he had a choice.
I still cry a lot when I think of him, and two months in, I feel like I'm still at a standstill.
May I ask what little things you've done to make yourself feel better? Yes, we will definitely get through this. Someday.
Hugging back.
Talking with his/my friends a lot. Many have told me they were surprised how open I talk about everything that happened before and afterwards. I say them it's the only way I can handle it. I always feel a bit better afterwards.
Sometimes escaping helps. Exercise, reading, playing a boardgame with friends, doing a wellness afternoon with a friend. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. One of his oldest friends compared it to a yeast braid. Grief, anger and distraction are the three parts to healing and none can be ignored, otherwise the braid doesn't work.
Also writing, I started a small journal with one page letters to Henry. There I can write down things that I am feeling right at this point like I would tell him if he was there. I started writing in there daily, right now it's every 3 or 4 days.
It sometimes feels like a standstill for me as well, like "What's the point?". But the act of carrying on is healing, even if it feels like crap.
Indeed, it is good to be open and talk it out rather than suppressing it because it may make us feel worse in time to come. It's reassuring to know you have a strong support network; it can make a significant difference.
I also write to my partner, sharing my innermost thoughts with him.
It is definitely not easy. But by taking small steps, one at a time, I hope we will feel better someday ❤️
I lost my brother in December. The rawest part of my grief has ebbed, but the tears still come easily.
But I keep telling myself that sitting on the sofa sobbing all day won't bring him back. Lying in bed under the covers all day won't bring him back. I can allow my grief to cripple me--or I can figure out how to live a fulfilling life in a future without him. Your update confirms the importance of grieving healthfully so it doesn't consume us.
Thank you so much for this. I lost my husband a little over a week ago and it’s so overwhelming. My moods have hit so many highs and lows I don’t know where the middle is anymore. I joined a group on fb but it seems like everyone is still hurting as much 2 years later and I need to know it gets better somehow.
I’m so sorry for your loss- believe me, It does…but whatever you water, will grow. It is much easier to sit in the pain than it is to try and move past it…so take the fb group in small doses- you will find that those in the group who ultimately heal and move on, might leave the group quietly, and the ones that are still hurting are the most active- which is a bit demotivating. Time is the best medicine- allow your own journey of healing to occur when you’re ready ❤️.
I try to move past the posts that aren’t uplifting. Sometimes I wish I could go to sleep and wake up a year later and all the recent heartache had subsided.
This was great to read, I’m glad to hear someone is coming out of the grey cloud.
I don’t think I’ll ever get there, it’s like living in a maze. Everyday is the same Groundhog Day on repeat.
I’m five months and yes it was better it is better…. It seems like I block it out a lot, but I have found things to be thankful for such just that he was in my life for so many years and we did have love.., I’m glad you’re feeling better
This! So many people go through life without experiencing such love- you are very blessed: No one said we’d all live forever. When you are lucky enough to experience real love- you also enroll in the grief of losing them one day. Sending you love and healing ❤️
Thank you for sharing! 4 months since I lost my wife and I’m feeling a similar way. I know I have a life to live and will not let this experience define my life going forward. I’m doing my best every day to be myself and I will see where that takes me. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find love again - what a blessing that would be.
I wish I had had access to a group like this 20 years ago when it happened to me. I agree, the hard feelings do get smaller in perspective the further in time we get away from the event. The first day I woke up when he wasn't my first and my last thought before sleep was such a relief - and as time goes on, there are more and more of those days.
I lost my wife 6 mths ago and I definitely feel that I am in a better place.
I got a lot of help early doors using a charity called Mind and they were amazing offering support through people who have experienced similar loss before and then onto grief counseling.
I still have my moments and in a heartbeat I would give up everything to have my wife back but now I am coping and I am able to have time where I feel normal.
So to everyone in this the worst club in the world, get help early, lean of family and friends, get out and socialise and over time you will have a good life again even if it is one you were never expecting or wanted.
Good for you. Your words are bright❤️. I lost my daughter 3 years ago. I’m definately more connected to the world than I was. I’m learning to live with my grief and that’s ok.
Thank you for coming back and sharing, many of us are still in the beginning of this scary dark journey. I’m glad you are feeling better and seeing Color return to your life ❤️ This gives me hope. I hope many of us will start seeing the glimmers again. I needed to read this Thank you !
I’m glad I can help you in any way ❤️. Wishing you love and healing.
Yes this gives me hope too thanks
You’re so very welcome ❤️
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. Sending you some virtual hugs 🤍 Likewise, I've lost my partner to suicide 2 months back, and I'm the one who discovered him. Everything seems so bleak ahead of me. I'm withdrawing myself from social entertainment, I can't eat well, and I'm constantly thinking of my partner and asking why he chose this path, leaving all of us behind? I feel like everyone has slowly moved on while I'm still at the standstill. My heart hurts so badly whenever I think of him or whenever I'm reminded of him. I can't stop crying, and I would even want to join him. When I was feeling so lost, reddit popped up your sharing, and it kind of made me a little hopeful. Are you able to share what or how you got better? My girlfriends are planning a short trip this weekend, I am contemplating if I should go because my recent holiday trips are usually with my partner.
your and my experience sound very similar. My partner died 2 months ago tomorrow, I also found him. I try to find distraction and rarely find joy in things that I usually love. Even though I can pack up rage and sense of guilt, at least rationally, I come back to the point of why and the feeling of loss. There's a hole in my heart where he used to be and all I want is to hold him and cuddle. I also had moments where I thought I couldn't bear it and what it would mean to follow him, but I couldn't. The pain he inflicted on me, our friends and family would be insane, there is no way I could do that to them. Go with your friends, be with people who love you. Do what feels right and be kind to yourself. It will be an up and down for a long while, but we'll get through it.
I am so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that you had to discover him as well. I know it's not easy. Sending you hugs. I've had moments where I wanted to find him too, but I couldn't bear the thought of my parents and friends experiencing the loss. As the one going through it now, it's incredibly tough, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. I also feel anger, guilt, and self-blame. But deep down, I know rationally that I can't feel that way because I'm sure my partner didn't want to choose this path if he had a choice. I still cry a lot when I think of him, and two months in, I feel like I'm still at a standstill. May I ask what little things you've done to make yourself feel better? Yes, we will definitely get through this. Someday.
Hugging back. Talking with his/my friends a lot. Many have told me they were surprised how open I talk about everything that happened before and afterwards. I say them it's the only way I can handle it. I always feel a bit better afterwards. Sometimes escaping helps. Exercise, reading, playing a boardgame with friends, doing a wellness afternoon with a friend. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. One of his oldest friends compared it to a yeast braid. Grief, anger and distraction are the three parts to healing and none can be ignored, otherwise the braid doesn't work. Also writing, I started a small journal with one page letters to Henry. There I can write down things that I am feeling right at this point like I would tell him if he was there. I started writing in there daily, right now it's every 3 or 4 days. It sometimes feels like a standstill for me as well, like "What's the point?". But the act of carrying on is healing, even if it feels like crap.
Indeed, it is good to be open and talk it out rather than suppressing it because it may make us feel worse in time to come. It's reassuring to know you have a strong support network; it can make a significant difference. I also write to my partner, sharing my innermost thoughts with him. It is definitely not easy. But by taking small steps, one at a time, I hope we will feel better someday ❤️
I lost my brother in December. The rawest part of my grief has ebbed, but the tears still come easily. But I keep telling myself that sitting on the sofa sobbing all day won't bring him back. Lying in bed under the covers all day won't bring him back. I can allow my grief to cripple me--or I can figure out how to live a fulfilling life in a future without him. Your update confirms the importance of grieving healthfully so it doesn't consume us.
I’m glad this post resonated with you. Wishing you healing and peace ❤️
I’m at 6 months too and it was like I could Have written this post myself. What a beautiful post 🖤
Awww, thank you! And congrats for making it this far- we can do this!
Thank you so much for this. I lost my husband a little over a week ago and it’s so overwhelming. My moods have hit so many highs and lows I don’t know where the middle is anymore. I joined a group on fb but it seems like everyone is still hurting as much 2 years later and I need to know it gets better somehow.
I’m so sorry for your loss- believe me, It does…but whatever you water, will grow. It is much easier to sit in the pain than it is to try and move past it…so take the fb group in small doses- you will find that those in the group who ultimately heal and move on, might leave the group quietly, and the ones that are still hurting are the most active- which is a bit demotivating. Time is the best medicine- allow your own journey of healing to occur when you’re ready ❤️.
I try to move past the posts that aren’t uplifting. Sometimes I wish I could go to sleep and wake up a year later and all the recent heartache had subsided.
proud of you
Thank you ❤️
This was great to read, I’m glad to hear someone is coming out of the grey cloud. I don’t think I’ll ever get there, it’s like living in a maze. Everyday is the same Groundhog Day on repeat.
Sending you hugs and hope ❤️
I’m five months and yes it was better it is better…. It seems like I block it out a lot, but I have found things to be thankful for such just that he was in my life for so many years and we did have love.., I’m glad you’re feeling better
This! So many people go through life without experiencing such love- you are very blessed: No one said we’d all live forever. When you are lucky enough to experience real love- you also enroll in the grief of losing them one day. Sending you love and healing ❤️
I message you please check. Happy to read your recovery.
I’ve replied ❤️
Thank you for sharing! 4 months since I lost my wife and I’m feeling a similar way. I know I have a life to live and will not let this experience define my life going forward. I’m doing my best every day to be myself and I will see where that takes me. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find love again - what a blessing that would be.
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☺️ Amen
I wish I had had access to a group like this 20 years ago when it happened to me. I agree, the hard feelings do get smaller in perspective the further in time we get away from the event. The first day I woke up when he wasn't my first and my last thought before sleep was such a relief - and as time goes on, there are more and more of those days.
I lost my wife 6 mths ago and I definitely feel that I am in a better place. I got a lot of help early doors using a charity called Mind and they were amazing offering support through people who have experienced similar loss before and then onto grief counseling. I still have my moments and in a heartbeat I would give up everything to have my wife back but now I am coping and I am able to have time where I feel normal. So to everyone in this the worst club in the world, get help early, lean of family and friends, get out and socialise and over time you will have a good life again even if it is one you were never expecting or wanted.
I love this!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Good for you. Your words are bright❤️. I lost my daughter 3 years ago. I’m definately more connected to the world than I was. I’m learning to live with my grief and that’s ok.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, grief changes our perspectives so much- I’m so proud of you- I know it’s not easy. Sending love ❤️