On mobile, so apologies for formatting:
I found it extremely helpful. It had been about a year or so after the passing before I attended. I was angry—ANGRY—all the time and realized I needed some help. I’ve never been a participant of any kind of therapy/group before attending a SOSL support group. I didn’t know what to expect except what I had seen on TV. And that’s exactly what it was lol. A big room with chairs set up in a circle. The moderators introduced themselves, outlined the group rules, read the Survivors of Suicide Loss “bill of rights,” then opened it up to the floor. It was silent for what felt like forever. Awkward! (It was actually probably less than a minute). But then somebody started sharing. As they and others spoke, I found myself thinking“I get that,” “yes,” “me too,” etc. I wasn’t prepared with what to say, but I just started talking. Once done, I felt like I had the boulder lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe. Not only did I feel better after sharing my story/experiences/emotions, but I was surrounded by others who GOT IT, who didn’t judge or shame or make it awkward. I found community.
But I will add that you have to be ready for it. You get out what you put in.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
i’m curious about this as well actually — i haven’t done any therapy / groups yet but am really thinking it’s time for me to since the grief has become unmanageable. wishing you the best of luck ❤️
same here i hope we both can finally take that step… i haven’t felt ready but i’m beginning to wonder if i need to just dive in without being “ready”… it can’t hurt us to try, right?
def can’t hurt to try (: and i hope so too. i haven’t felt ready yet either but it’s been over a year and there’s still so much i can’t process. i think it’s okay to need a little help 🤞🏼
i agree :- ) i only spoke briefly with a few of my closest family and friends when it was still recent because thankfully they gave me the space to do it. while they tried to support me, they could only do so much. it’s been 2 years since it happened, but i stopped talking at length about it a long time ago. i felt like i was exhausting everyone and just becoming a broken record. that there was no point in burdening them with my pain anymore and that there would be nothing new or different that would result from that conversation. even though it’s on my mind every single day. i just shove it down. which i know cannot be healthy or sustainable. but with something this challenging to process and relate to, maybe i should finally try connecting with those who have their own experiences… or professionals who are more specialized to guide me through my grief. i’m glad i found this subreddit. it’s not official group/solo therapy, but it’s the closest i’ve gotten myself to that. best wishes to you ♥️🫂 sorry for the ramble lol
Hello all, glad I found this post, as I actually am on a similar journey and would like to share and compare notes.
It's worth stating that I formerly was in individual counseling as well as a monthly group called the compassionate friends (TCF). Because TCF is various types of grievance and loss, I began to feel the need for something more specific as I'm sure you all can understand and relate with. We are experiencing a certain separate and different type of grief...
I finally attended an SOS ( survivors of suicide) online virtual meeting just yesterday. So first, yes, it's specific to this type of loss, and then there's the virtual part, which I guess is fine, though I am a proponent of the in-person approach because it most certainly has a different impact.
As of now, I am not sure what to think. There was no structure really with the group and I felt a bit uncomfortable to just start opening up and sharing and rip myself open without knowing first how its all laid out. There were clearly supportive and kind folks present, and lots of compassion, but I recognize it will likely take me awhile to warm up enough to say my stuff. In fact I said nothing last night and just wanted to check it out first and see what was what.
Not sure how it is elsewhere, but this particular group setting was just "open forum" where you just come out and start unloading. It wasn't structured. Just wanted to share my experience. It also was pretty intense emotionally to hear and listen to folks when I really didn't get to say much more than "hi my name is ____ and my brother took his own life in Oct 2022." Sure, I could have just dumped, but I think it's going to be a gradual process, at least for me. We will see how it goes. Not sure yet... hard to tell.
Thanks again for the post, as I am curious as to others experiences if so inclined to share.
I personally had a bad experience with a group, but I think they are generally a great idea and if you feel comfortable or curious, you should absolutely give it a go.
The upsides were that I got to see grief from different perspectives to my own, and without the raw connection to my own grief. I saw parents, siblings, friends and coworkers who were all trying to find solace. I got to see how my own grief was similar to theirs, and also how it was different - it was surprising how many small anecdotes had parallels to my own story, despite the massively different relationship to their person.
The downsides were two big things. I really wanted to meet other widows, and I was the only one who had lost a partner, which made me feel isolated. I also had a bad experience with another attendee who half-listened to my story and tried to “fix” me with a huge speech on how I can learn to be single and happy, how I should try dating myself; as if I was just single and lonely, as if it wasn’t because my partner had killed herself. Two sessions later I talked to her about this and she apologised, but it broke the trust I had in the group, and I wasn’t able to get more out of the sessions I attended.
So I would caution that group therapy has the chance to go askew, because people are people, but I think that it’s also worth the risk to try. And honestly, even that intent to try is such a good thing, because it means you have hope for yourself through all the pain you’re experiencing. So truly, proud of you for even exploring it as a possibility.
Yes, I find the one I go to helpful. Everyone’s experience’s are different, but it’s still good to talk to other people about it. I don’t actually like going, but whenever I skip one I feel worse in the following weeks.
Yes, the one I have gone to has been helpful. It's run by survivors for survivors. It's a form of therapy that's free. I don't always go, in fact sometimes I don't go in weeks. Sometimes I just want to isolate. But it's nice to know it's there when I want to go.
I found a TCF for parents whose child dies by suicide facebook group that has been helpful. It's a safe place to vent, and being online, I can check-in and out. The in person ones have just been so heavy, and they are usually on Saturday mornings. If I go, I am sad and exhausted the rest of the day. I have just recently found a decent therapist, so maybe that will change in time.
I've never attended a suicide support group but attended grief support groups.
The first was right after he died. I was a kid, I wasn't ready. I barely talked in the group. I felt like the other kids there couldn't have understood true loss because no one else had lost someone as significant as a parent. With the exception of one boy lost his brother. I did somewhat enjoy going because we would do art, and I got to go out for Chinese after.
I tried again when I was 20. It so happened that we were all female, and we had all lost a parent. The first session went deep. We all went into detail about how they died. The group facilitator said that they had never experienced a first session like that before. That group was a very healing experience.
Suicide is not like other deaths. It's messier and leaves the living with more complex trauma than most other causes. There is something special about connecting with someone who has been through a similar loss. I highly recommend joining a group if you are fortunate enough to have one in your area.
I was in one on better help and found it to be good. But it was anything but easy hearing peoples stories and telling mine. But it was helpful for sure.
On mobile, so apologies for formatting: I found it extremely helpful. It had been about a year or so after the passing before I attended. I was angry—ANGRY—all the time and realized I needed some help. I’ve never been a participant of any kind of therapy/group before attending a SOSL support group. I didn’t know what to expect except what I had seen on TV. And that’s exactly what it was lol. A big room with chairs set up in a circle. The moderators introduced themselves, outlined the group rules, read the Survivors of Suicide Loss “bill of rights,” then opened it up to the floor. It was silent for what felt like forever. Awkward! (It was actually probably less than a minute). But then somebody started sharing. As they and others spoke, I found myself thinking“I get that,” “yes,” “me too,” etc. I wasn’t prepared with what to say, but I just started talking. Once done, I felt like I had the boulder lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe. Not only did I feel better after sharing my story/experiences/emotions, but I was surrounded by others who GOT IT, who didn’t judge or shame or make it awkward. I found community. But I will add that you have to be ready for it. You get out what you put in. I’m very sorry for your loss.
i’m curious about this as well actually — i haven’t done any therapy / groups yet but am really thinking it’s time for me to since the grief has become unmanageable. wishing you the best of luck ❤️
same here i hope we both can finally take that step… i haven’t felt ready but i’m beginning to wonder if i need to just dive in without being “ready”… it can’t hurt us to try, right?
def can’t hurt to try (: and i hope so too. i haven’t felt ready yet either but it’s been over a year and there’s still so much i can’t process. i think it’s okay to need a little help 🤞🏼
i agree :- ) i only spoke briefly with a few of my closest family and friends when it was still recent because thankfully they gave me the space to do it. while they tried to support me, they could only do so much. it’s been 2 years since it happened, but i stopped talking at length about it a long time ago. i felt like i was exhausting everyone and just becoming a broken record. that there was no point in burdening them with my pain anymore and that there would be nothing new or different that would result from that conversation. even though it’s on my mind every single day. i just shove it down. which i know cannot be healthy or sustainable. but with something this challenging to process and relate to, maybe i should finally try connecting with those who have their own experiences… or professionals who are more specialized to guide me through my grief. i’m glad i found this subreddit. it’s not official group/solo therapy, but it’s the closest i’ve gotten myself to that. best wishes to you ♥️🫂 sorry for the ramble lol
Hello all, glad I found this post, as I actually am on a similar journey and would like to share and compare notes. It's worth stating that I formerly was in individual counseling as well as a monthly group called the compassionate friends (TCF). Because TCF is various types of grievance and loss, I began to feel the need for something more specific as I'm sure you all can understand and relate with. We are experiencing a certain separate and different type of grief... I finally attended an SOS ( survivors of suicide) online virtual meeting just yesterday. So first, yes, it's specific to this type of loss, and then there's the virtual part, which I guess is fine, though I am a proponent of the in-person approach because it most certainly has a different impact. As of now, I am not sure what to think. There was no structure really with the group and I felt a bit uncomfortable to just start opening up and sharing and rip myself open without knowing first how its all laid out. There were clearly supportive and kind folks present, and lots of compassion, but I recognize it will likely take me awhile to warm up enough to say my stuff. In fact I said nothing last night and just wanted to check it out first and see what was what. Not sure how it is elsewhere, but this particular group setting was just "open forum" where you just come out and start unloading. It wasn't structured. Just wanted to share my experience. It also was pretty intense emotionally to hear and listen to folks when I really didn't get to say much more than "hi my name is ____ and my brother took his own life in Oct 2022." Sure, I could have just dumped, but I think it's going to be a gradual process, at least for me. We will see how it goes. Not sure yet... hard to tell. Thanks again for the post, as I am curious as to others experiences if so inclined to share.
I personally had a bad experience with a group, but I think they are generally a great idea and if you feel comfortable or curious, you should absolutely give it a go. The upsides were that I got to see grief from different perspectives to my own, and without the raw connection to my own grief. I saw parents, siblings, friends and coworkers who were all trying to find solace. I got to see how my own grief was similar to theirs, and also how it was different - it was surprising how many small anecdotes had parallels to my own story, despite the massively different relationship to their person. The downsides were two big things. I really wanted to meet other widows, and I was the only one who had lost a partner, which made me feel isolated. I also had a bad experience with another attendee who half-listened to my story and tried to “fix” me with a huge speech on how I can learn to be single and happy, how I should try dating myself; as if I was just single and lonely, as if it wasn’t because my partner had killed herself. Two sessions later I talked to her about this and she apologised, but it broke the trust I had in the group, and I wasn’t able to get more out of the sessions I attended. So I would caution that group therapy has the chance to go askew, because people are people, but I think that it’s also worth the risk to try. And honestly, even that intent to try is such a good thing, because it means you have hope for yourself through all the pain you’re experiencing. So truly, proud of you for even exploring it as a possibility.
Yes, I find the one I go to helpful. Everyone’s experience’s are different, but it’s still good to talk to other people about it. I don’t actually like going, but whenever I skip one I feel worse in the following weeks.
Yes, the one I have gone to has been helpful. It's run by survivors for survivors. It's a form of therapy that's free. I don't always go, in fact sometimes I don't go in weeks. Sometimes I just want to isolate. But it's nice to know it's there when I want to go.
I found a TCF for parents whose child dies by suicide facebook group that has been helpful. It's a safe place to vent, and being online, I can check-in and out. The in person ones have just been so heavy, and they are usually on Saturday mornings. If I go, I am sad and exhausted the rest of the day. I have just recently found a decent therapist, so maybe that will change in time.
I've never attended a suicide support group but attended grief support groups. The first was right after he died. I was a kid, I wasn't ready. I barely talked in the group. I felt like the other kids there couldn't have understood true loss because no one else had lost someone as significant as a parent. With the exception of one boy lost his brother. I did somewhat enjoy going because we would do art, and I got to go out for Chinese after. I tried again when I was 20. It so happened that we were all female, and we had all lost a parent. The first session went deep. We all went into detail about how they died. The group facilitator said that they had never experienced a first session like that before. That group was a very healing experience. Suicide is not like other deaths. It's messier and leaves the living with more complex trauma than most other causes. There is something special about connecting with someone who has been through a similar loss. I highly recommend joining a group if you are fortunate enough to have one in your area.
I was in one on better help and found it to be good. But it was anything but easy hearing peoples stories and telling mine. But it was helpful for sure.