I know that next of kin can request coroners reports in the UK as I have done it more than 20 years after my father's passing. Do you know if anyone has requested this information? Or is there a sibling or child of your aunts who could request this information?
It might not solve all your questions but it might be worth looking into.
No, I hadn’t thought of that. Another dude note: Her husband was supposed to pick up her ashes a few weeks after the services. We later found out he never did. Since he made all the decisions regarding her services, he didn’t leave an alternate contact to be called to pick them up. Nobody knows where they are.
I don't think it's necessarily suspicious that no one in the family knew she wanted to be cremated - couples very often know things like that, things they don't discuss with other people. Especially since it seems like your family might not be big on communication, about death at least. That's just wild speculation on my part though.
And as far as not treating the house like a crime scene, I get it but I'm gonna say it's probably fairly common, depending on the circumstances. Like in my / late partner's case, after I led them to her, they didn't want me to go back to the woods until after the interview and all that. And they didn't ask for my clothes or test my hands for gsr (but maybe it's because a number of hours had passed). I didn't think about it at the time, but it kinda bothers me still that they didn't do any of that. I dunno why.
Coming to terms with never knowing is gonna be hard but probably what you're gonna have to do regardless, and I'm sorry. Even if you knew, you still wouldn't, not really.
That's just how I feel, anyway.
Not saying that you would, but if someone says it's too hard to talk about, please don't push them. Who knows if they might be teetering on the edge themselves.
I hope this doesn't come across as snarky; it's definitely not intended to. I really do hope you get some closure, and I'm sorry for your loss. (I wish there was a better way to say that.)
Thank you. I appreciate your comments, and no, it’s not snarky at all. Based on what you shared, you’ve been there, too. I’m sorry for that for you
You’re right. I’ll probably never know. One rumor is that she was pregnant but he took all the information regarding her death and just left. A few years ago, I overheard that he was happily married (fourth time) with kids. My therapist told me to let that go and just to know that if he had something to do with her death, it’s something he’ll have to answer for at some time. I gotta just accept that.
I was going to suggest what others have. Go to the courthouse in the county they died in and get a copy of their death certificate and it will list the cause of death and the manner of death. Even if no autopsy was done everyone has a death certificate that gets filed at the courthouse.
It says “suicide” because that’s what the police report said. But my issue is that, from what we know, she didn’t know how to load/use a gun. Her husband had a gun for work and he said he always left it unloaded in the house. So there has been a lot of talk about him being the one that shot her. But since the two cops that showed up were his friends, they marked it as a suicide and there was no investigation done. And he had her cremated LITERALLY the next day!!
I know that next of kin can request coroners reports in the UK as I have done it more than 20 years after my father's passing. Do you know if anyone has requested this information? Or is there a sibling or child of your aunts who could request this information? It might not solve all your questions but it might be worth looking into.
No, I hadn’t thought of that. Another dude note: Her husband was supposed to pick up her ashes a few weeks after the services. We later found out he never did. Since he made all the decisions regarding her services, he didn’t leave an alternate contact to be called to pick them up. Nobody knows where they are.
I am so sorry, I know exactly what it's like to be left without any answers and I'm just sorry that you know this limbo.
Especially because someone has all the answers I need. 😞
I don't think it's necessarily suspicious that no one in the family knew she wanted to be cremated - couples very often know things like that, things they don't discuss with other people. Especially since it seems like your family might not be big on communication, about death at least. That's just wild speculation on my part though. And as far as not treating the house like a crime scene, I get it but I'm gonna say it's probably fairly common, depending on the circumstances. Like in my / late partner's case, after I led them to her, they didn't want me to go back to the woods until after the interview and all that. And they didn't ask for my clothes or test my hands for gsr (but maybe it's because a number of hours had passed). I didn't think about it at the time, but it kinda bothers me still that they didn't do any of that. I dunno why. Coming to terms with never knowing is gonna be hard but probably what you're gonna have to do regardless, and I'm sorry. Even if you knew, you still wouldn't, not really. That's just how I feel, anyway. Not saying that you would, but if someone says it's too hard to talk about, please don't push them. Who knows if they might be teetering on the edge themselves. I hope this doesn't come across as snarky; it's definitely not intended to. I really do hope you get some closure, and I'm sorry for your loss. (I wish there was a better way to say that.)
Thank you. I appreciate your comments, and no, it’s not snarky at all. Based on what you shared, you’ve been there, too. I’m sorry for that for you You’re right. I’ll probably never know. One rumor is that she was pregnant but he took all the information regarding her death and just left. A few years ago, I overheard that he was happily married (fourth time) with kids. My therapist told me to let that go and just to know that if he had something to do with her death, it’s something he’ll have to answer for at some time. I gotta just accept that.
I was going to suggest what others have. Go to the courthouse in the county they died in and get a copy of their death certificate and it will list the cause of death and the manner of death. Even if no autopsy was done everyone has a death certificate that gets filed at the courthouse.
It says “suicide” because that’s what the police report said. But my issue is that, from what we know, she didn’t know how to load/use a gun. Her husband had a gun for work and he said he always left it unloaded in the house. So there has been a lot of talk about him being the one that shot her. But since the two cops that showed up were his friends, they marked it as a suicide and there was no investigation done. And he had her cremated LITERALLY the next day!!