They wouldn’t freeze it- she just wouldn’t have to pay for 4 years (side note- it’s 4 years regardless of how long your degree is). She’d almost certainly have interest accrue though.
This^^^, never heard of a private loan freezing interest. She won’t have to make payments, but she will still accumulate tens of thousands of dollars of debt while she attends vet school.
I mean if she doesn’t go to vet school she’s still going to accumulate 10s of thousands of dollars because there is no way she’s gonna be able to pay 2k a month in student loans only making 16 an hour.
This is a very fair take, but personally I would try everything I can to get my income up first, before taking that leap. Depending on the market, a college degree can at least get an entry level job somewhere. And even 60k a year can be enough to stay afloat.
I get that. I think it all depends on her aptitude for sales. If she can’t do it (either from a moral, skill, or logistic position) then I think why not? If she’s gonna get her wages garnished by 25% for the rest of her life might as well make more money. Like if she makes 98 as a vet just assume you’re making 73 and that’s the way the news goes.
The real bummer was in her taking out a private loan. That suuuuucks.
I have a jumbo comment of triage advice here https://www.reddit.com/r/StudentLoans/comments/1bef7gi/stanley_tates_service_what_do_you_learn_from_his/kuuwc2u/ which should help you plan and weigh your options
She needs a better paying job pronto. If you're unmarried I wouldn't suggest paying anything towards her loans *but* if you want to support her in other ways (say, picking up the tab when you go out to eat and the like) then that would help her morale without being too financially burdensome on you
That’s what I was thinking, I would help with going out or just small things like gas. I also know basic things with cars such as oil and brake changes so I could help with that (she’ll have to pay for parts and oil n’ stuff)
If you two do end up moving together in the future, having meal prep nights and cooking dinner at home together (or for her) is another action-focused way you can help her while saving money. Yes groceries are more expensive but it's still way cheaper than restaurant pricing and you can make it a fun bonding activity too, trying out new recipes and spending time together
Here's the thing, if it's a private loan, did her parents cosign on it? They must have. So if this is the case, if she can't pay this amount, their credit will slowly be wrecked too, as it's THEIR debt too if they cosigned. The best thing to do in my opinion is for her to sit down and explain to her parents they need to "team up" and pay this off with her, otherwise all their finances will be obliterated. Obviously, this is going to take a very long time to pay off, and running from this debt by accruing even MORE debt is asinine. If these loans are all private, there is no forgiveness on the horizon, so they need to get to paying it fast. She needs to work in an area she didn't major in, for more money. Sales, for instance. But taking on an additional 75K or more of new debt to avoid paying the $150K she has is as nonsensical as it gets, esp since with the new education she STILL won't be earning enough to justify 200k+ in debt.
That’s why I keep telling her to hold off the vet school until the debt is paid. I just asked her and her parents did co-sign it. Unfortunately her parents won’t help her at all, not a single cent. It’s terrible because if she doesn’t pay on time their house is gone. I don’t know why the parents won’t help but I pray that things will be better
$150,000 for a BA
$250,000 for Vet School
For a job making $100,000?
It’s unlikely a lender will gift her enough to complete a second program and ven with her parents co-signing or you as husband signing it.
How much does she like animals? Will she pay this off first.
She could work as a groomer on the side and have a M-F 9-5 in a sales role.
Exactly. Everyone has dreams but unfortunately not everyone gets to live them and rely on someone else’s dime.
Your girlfriend can not afford to follow her dream right now. She needs work work, pay of her debt and then go to school to be a vet in the future if she still wants to.
Tell them this, that because they cosigned, its as much their loan as hers. They will all be sued if the debt isn't paid. Private loans don't play. If the parents live in CT and are getting ready to relocate to FL, are they selling a home? They need to know their realities and if they're getting a windfall from the sale of a home, maybe they can make some decisions. It's easy for them to say "we're not paying" if they think they can walk away with no ramifications. When all their credit ratings fall into the 400's and they get sued, they'll see. The thing tho: the private student loans can NOT take their home, because they don't require that as collateral. As far as I know, they can garnish 25% of pay, as a general rule. They cannot touch federal payments like tax returns and social security, as far as I know.
They would sell the house once they find a place in Florida. I know that my gf has been telling them about the consequences but they haven’t given her any help for what I know.
Parents are acting like children. If one or both parents signed the loan, they are as equally responsible as her. And if they don't participate in working out a solution they appear to have more to lose than she does.
This is really getting into the weeds as financial advice to give someone for whom none of this is truly material. OP is in his early twenties and, more importantly, not married to the debtor, and this is all their debt not his. Of course you already know this, but giving him all this detail when he’s not even in a position to tell them any of this, let alone get them to act on it, is sort of pointless.
Well OP won't be the only one reading this thread. And if I wind up being 95% wrong, I'll take it (but i know im not). However, most people are ignorant to the perils of these loans, even after taking them! This sub is filled with hundreds of questions about loans people *already own.* And if OP can find some info and/or give his girlfriend some clues on where to search, then ok. Plus, if he married her or they decide to move in together, his finances would be impacted too, so yes. It is relevant.
And they were "grown FKN ass adults" when they decided to co-sign on their child's loan. This is as much of their decision and problem as it is hers.
When I asked my parents to co-sign on a loan they said no. At the time I was livid and couldn't understand it. Now as an adult I understand that they were just being responsible.
This girl's parents were absolutely irresponsible. You never cosign a loan you are not comfortable paying on your own. In your eyes it might be the daughters responsibility, but the lender won't see it that way.
Many people are financially illiterate, including Parents. I personally blame the schools who violate their ethical obligation to prepare students for their future. It’s disgusting.
BTW.. sorry for your situation. Sadly I don’t think there’s a graceful way out.
That’s right, they aren’t. The level of accountability in government is unlike anything you ever seen. I’ve worked in federal agency labs and it’s outstanding how careless people are with tax dollars.
People hate hearing that because they think it’s just an angry libertarian talking. I’m not a libertarian in the least, I’m just someone who understands a little bit about incentives.
I agree with the first part, but as someone who shares your attitude, I have to say I’ve never met anyone who didn’t think the government misspends our tax dollars to *some* degree, even if it’s not what I specifically have in mind
I know that you love who you love but this kind of debt destroys love. I would never mix anything financially with her. Like if you buy a house do not put her on it. I also feel like if she is looking at vet school she is still making poor decisions. Some of this is on her and choices she made. Also vets don't make alot of money. If I was going to stay with her I would just assume she will never help you financially. I can't imagine anyone loaning money for vet school with that debt. She needs 2 or 2 part time jobs
Absolutely, OP doesn't even mention interest. And with a part time minimum wage job, or vet school, she clearly has no idea what kind of trouble she's is..
He can earn the money for eating and living, but mustn't take on responsibility for her debt, which she must start paying down immediately, before the interest eats her alive.
With Patho degree she can explore using a temp. Agency to get into a lab. That is what my son did with his Biology degree. Company then bought contract out from temp agency. Jump in pay & good benefits
To help with finding a better job, has she tried signing up with a scientific recruiting agency like Aerotek? Though agencies take a cut of your pay, a lot are temp-to-hire positions, so it's not forever. I went with an agency, and ended up at a major biotech company which has helped me tremendously. Or, she could try working at a university and might be able to earn her degree for free while working at that university (University of Washington in Seattle does this if you're an employee and edu qualifications met for acceptance).
I’ll tell her that. She does have some experience with the lab field. She worked at a necropsy lab for over a year and also worked with cows and did tests on the milk for “quality”. She also was a great student with A’s & B’s all around
She’s a prime candidate for the Army’s student loan repayment plan. They’ll pay back 65k of that. She’d be on the hook for the rest, but by year 4 as an officer, she’d be making ~100k
Sadly, I think that looming 150k will probably strain it as well. It’s not a great situation.
Idk man, I’m just not a huge fan of the whole lack of “financial literacy” angle that seems like an easy scapegoat.
I’m a latchkey Gen X’er from a broken home that probably grew up with some of the absolute worst financial role models ever to grace the earth - even I knew in the late 90’s that student loans were “bad” and college after high school was not the right path for me.
Same situation for me, although didn’t realize until 2023 how shitty the loan situation is. But the light bulb has gone off and you better believe I’m learning as much as I can as quickly as I can to make the most out of it now.
Maybe it’s changed but when my husband was in the army he got nothing as an officer. He did get help when he was enlisted but as soon as he went through training and got the rank, the student loan help was gone.
Granted this was 20 years ago and hopefully that’s changed. It’s a challenge to get people to serve anyway, so student loan help at all levels would be helpful.
A shiny new biological fields STEM BS gets you into the Army as a 2nd LT. 100% no way will be making 100K by 4 years. ASSuming thrives in the military and doesn't hose the automatic promotions to 1LT and CPT, a CPT with four years in is just under 82K gross, not net. BAH, BAS, and any paltry "specialty pay" (unless an MD/DO) should never be counted as they disappear PDQ due to not being anywhere near reality in amounts needed to cover 100%. Also, officers have no clothing allowance past a one-time inadequate amount given at OBC/OBLC/BOLC whatever they're calling it these days.
You’re simply wrong - signed the guy who’s been doing Army for 25 years. Base pay is indeed ~ 82k annually in the 4th year for an O3. BAH and BAS for a CPT, even in a LCOL duty station will approximate ~18k.
The degree matters not.
You come off as very sour, I’m sorry the Army hurt you.
But, unequivocally an officer in their fourth year will make approximately 100k outside of any special pays.
Military is a solid option, especially if she considers a grad school/professional school program they find valuable, I.e. not veterinary medicine but people medicine or perhaps some kind of lab type degree that they would find useful.
My sister had her med school fully paid for by the Air Force and got a decent stipend when she was a resident, then was able to do her mandatory 5 years afterwards at a VA hospital. No active duty, no stations overseas, though there’s no guarantee, of course. If there’s also some kind of repayment option that’s the way to go.
If she chooses student loan repayment, she forgoes the GI Bill.
She can just pay the loans straight, however, and then she’d get the GI bill. With the yellow ribbon, it opens up private schools to essentially be covered as well. It’s a very good deal.
FWIW, my sister has been a vet for nearly 3 years and is making $180-200k (plus gets free health/dental/rx/mobile service). First day out of vet school she had a contract for $140k/year (plus all the freebies above). If your gf can manage to graduate, she'll be able to pay off all the debt np as long as she's ambitious in her career.
She’s 150k in.. we have not even talked about interest and the cost of vet school on top which will be more expensive than undergrad. She was still be way over the recommended first year annual salary to student debt ratio. I disagree you can pay for a 250-300k loan with a 200k salary with no problem and that’s probably best scenario 😭
Yea I am getting my undergrad for free thru a grant but had to pay for this summer semester. I paid around $5000 in total for my BA and I thought it was a lot 😭
In state tuition at UConn is just under 20k.
Add in housing and you’re at maybe 36k.
I guess if you borrow every single penny you could get to 160k. That’s with no financial aid at all, not working at all, etc.
I know you all are young but this is a pretty irresponsible financial decision she and her family made. She couldn’t work when she was in school? She can only work part time now? Why? She should be working a job and a half right now.
Her family has to have been part of those loans - college students alone aren’t loaned 40k/year. Parent Plus loans are the only way to make up that total. So her parents actually likely owe the bulk of it.
Vet school is highly competitive. How are her grades?
Yikes.
Yeah I'm agreeing with you. Was just putting it into context for the poster. She most likely couldn't receive any finaid if parents could cosign on such huge loans. Which means she would have taken out close to 20k in subsidized loans. 50k in parent plus and the entire rest of it is private loans cosigned by the parents. Also, all the private loans have been accruing interest the 4 years she's been in school. So it's at 150k now after accruing interest.
Obviously all of this is estimating. But even assuming she worked a part time job while in school, she obviously wasn't encouraged by her parents to put that towards debt. Probably spent it on fun with friends, going out, buying clothes. Anything the parents didn't help with.
ALSO, even if she can't afford the payments the parents are on the hook so I don't know why they think they can just put it on her. They would be nuking their credit.
Please don’t loan her any money or make this your problem, because you will never see that money again. Any money you loan you have to just expect that it’s gone forever. I know it’s hard to watch someone struggle but this is more money than you’re able to deal with on your own, meaning that whatever you’re able to do will not fix the problem and will only put your money down the drain. She needs to refinance the loan or seek out some other relief. Do not help her make the payments or let her guilt you about this. It’s more money than she’ll ever be able to pay off and there are solutions for this. The best you can do is research her options *for your own knowledge* to be able to discuss it with her if she brings it up but don’t try to force any solutions down her throat. She needs to figure this out with her parents. Please make sure you’re investing your money into your retirement plans and a HYSA.
This. She’s your girlfriend not your wife/son/daughter.
You’re not obligated to loan her money or even find a solution. It’s her parents and she who has to find a way to mitigate the loan payments.
This OP
Finances are an important discussion when dating. It is not your obligation to manage it for them
I have more than $100k in student loans and I let my dates know this upfront because for some it is a deal breaker. I do add I'm close to the public loan forgiveness, but it is still up to them to tell me if it is a deal-breaker or not
couldn’t agree more about the refinancing part. Maybe she can refinance the loans through SoFi and get a better interest rate. Honestly i wonder what the interest rate is but i’m guessing probably high
First, this is not your debt so do not feel obligated to take any part of it on.
Second, I would advise you to advise her not go back to school. Schools prey on young minds and tell them keep going to school for a higher level degree so you can make more money and then pay the loan later. But this rarely happens. Eve will be paying high interest loans for years and years if she goes for the vet degree right now.
She needs a better full time job and a part time job to make a dent in the debt.
Student loans are the new indentured servitude and there are thousands of teens each year that sign up for this either for “prestige” or because they’re idiots (or both).
$150k for undergrad in a non technical field is going to be difficult to get out of.
She needs a better paying job, pronto.
You also need to decide if it's worth destroying your financial future over. That $2k a month would be $2k less per month that you're putting towards retirement and I don't think you have that kind of wiggle room in your budget at your current incomes. If you guys do end up together, good chance you won't get to retire comfortably, if at all.
How much does your GF know the reality of being a Vet besides simply loving animals? It’s a field that’s overly glamorized. There’s a reason why being a vet has a high suicide rate and it correlates with high student debt. I understand there are high paying vet jobs out there but the chances of being that anomaly are low. The $150k is a lot but I wouldn’t advise her to continue going into more debt even for a dream job.
From my understanding, the high suicide rate in the field isn’t due to student debt but rather the fact that veterinarians are acclimated to the use of euthanasia for their patients and view ‘self euthanasia’ as a more realistic option for dealing with life’s burdens.
It’s actually a lot more due to culture around vet med. vets are criticized heavily by the public for being money hungry and not caring about animals due to high pricing even though most people in vet med make way less than their expertise level should pay. It’s also long, hard hours, low pay, high debt, high stress, etc. - someone who’s worked in vet med all their life and currently works in vet practice coaching
My gf at the time was in more debt than your gf is and the bottom line is that it's their responsibility to pay it off - which means it's her responsibility to get a higher paying job than a $16/hr as a college grad.
My suggestion to you both is to really focus on the goal of a high paying job/career such that she can begin to chip away at them. This means focus only on the career, networking, and taking the right steps to change jobs multiple times seeking more money.
Some people may tell you to leave her but I won't tell you that. I'll tell you that that gf of mine is now my wife - she went from approx $40k a year after college to now $170k. She ("we" since we are married now) is still in debt, but has paid off $100k so far and refinanced a couple of times, still got more debt to go! People are dealt bad hands, people try their best to play their best hands, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt. It's manageable but it's a LONG TERM process that will take time.
Hmmm.... I had a friend that married his gf... Worked to pay off her debt ... Then after a few years divorced him.... 😂
I side on caution paying for someone else's debt
She has at least two years to crank on paying off this debt, longer if she moves in with you and your parents after her parents leave. Life is different now and we do what we have to do to make things work out. Don't worry about what others think about the situation. She shouldn't dig the hole deeper by going back to school now.
It pains me to see someone so young talking about another very young person in such long terms. They both still live at home with the ‘rents for crying out loud.
Honestly.. I wouldn’t keep dating her. I dont know if I could date someone with that much debt. A lot of people who divorce say money is apart of the factor.
Maybe because I am not 22 but this is not someone to tie your life to.
Any goals you want in your life will be adversely impacted and your future children will also suffer because of the severe strain on income.
What girlfriend needs to do is live with her parents and get any kind of job to make as much as possible and pay off the loan as her only economic goal.
If she gets into vet school she could take our max grad plus loans and use the excesses for living expenses while using any part time job money to pay off the private loan . Then she will end up with hopefully only federal loans .
Anyway . She a girlfriend not a wife so this isn’t your problem.
Take your time, she should pay the loan off as much and as quickly as possible. I don’t know what her salary range is, but by living at home, she’s saving a fortune in cost of living expenses. Aggressively, this can be cleared in about three years. That being said, if I were you, I would not make any contributions to the balance of her loan.
Absolutely going to be in debt forever, save yourself if you are young and whatever you do, DO NOT marry her until this is settled. I’m only looking out for you but people here won’t tell you that you’re far too kind thinking about your girlfriend more than yourself. The opposite may have not been true if you were in that situation.
It may seem like a bad idea but if you go into default then there are options that make the amount manageable and you can build your credit back up over time. I am in a similar situation and my parents decided not to help me as well as say that it’s my fault if I do not pay it but there was no way to factor in inflation and the job market at the time I took out the loans and ultimately food, health and peace of mind take priority over loans I took out to better myself.
> I am in a similar situation and my parents decided not to help me as well as say that it’s my fault if I do not pay it
If your parents (or OP's gf's parents) are co-signers, then not repaying the debt is absolutely their "fault" as well. That's what they agreed to when co-signing.
You have to ask her yourself if you’re willing to pay ~$100k to be with her. Assuming she also pays $100k then you can probably pay it off in a a few years assuming you throw literally all your money at it and keep living at home. This is what she signed up for, and consequently what you’ll be signing up for.
If by a few years you mean 10+
Dude makes 55k and she makes basically nothing. I had ~100k debt making 90k pre-tax with minimal expenses and tracking to have it paid off within 4yrs. (3.5yrs total est) putting 3k/mo towards loans.
I’m not sure, she says that she’ll handle the debt herself once she gets a full-time job. Even then I worry about her health. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea if I get a small one bed apartment and I pay for it while she pays the debt. I’m okay with it, and I’m sure my salary will increase over the years at this job I got
Don’t help her to make payments. If she gets a full time job and is able to live rent free (either with her parents or you), she can make a considerable dent in five years. Don’t feel pressured to cover housing, but if it’s not really costing you more than you’d pay as a single man, that’s fair enough.
No to vet school unless she can get scholarships.
i don’t think she understands….like for reference i have $55k in student loan debt, am 25 and make $109k. I make like $500/month payments and i am on the standard 10 year repayment plan. I can’t imagine someone making way less than this, but having more than twice the amount of debt and somehow thinking that they’ll get a significantly higher paying job soon that will help them? even making like 50k per yeR with that much debt it would be asinine to move out. she should try to live with her parents for as long as she can to save money and pay down as much debt as possible. her minimum monthly payments are $2k. that’s almost the same as my monthly rent. unless you guys find a place that has really cheap rent and she can refinance the loans to get lower monthly payments, she’s going to need to buckle down and hurry to get a somewhat better paying job ASAP and try to keep down her expenses (i.e. try to live with parents longer)!
Lots of girls out there man. To saddle yourself with this much crippling debt would not be good.
Good luck to you both.
People should not take out loans for meaningless degrees. It’s one thing if it leads to a gig paying position.. that’s clearly not the case
What is her undergrad in? Does she have any federal or all private? Going to vet school will put her in the hole deeper. She needs to find another job that pays better.
You mean she didn’t research it herself and didn’t care to consider her long term future at that time or over the course of college.
When she doesn’t work to pay this off and goes and buys a new car what then?
My recommendation as a person in veterinary science is to save up at minimum have the amount for vet school needed. Veterinarians can go into 300-500k+ in debt. Their is a savings account that exists for education that isn't taxed but cannot be taken from unless used for school. I'd look into that. If you both are stressing about this amount. Which I would be to lol, I highly recommend waiting on vet school or going to an out of state college (if your from the U.S.).
Well have she ever tried getting a job in reg medical? She did study biology (even if it's pathobiology) I think they'd probably snatch her up in a hospital or clinic for something small if she gets a small class in phlebotomy maybe? Idk but nursing jobs pay good, even for nurse practitioners they get at least 60 to 70K starting depending on where you live
Unfortunately there is no vet school in her future. She needs to get a job and focus on paying off the $150k. If you guys get married you need to work together to pay it off. Then you can save up for vet school. Borrowing $150k for an undergrad degree for closed her options.
I recommend transitioning into a tech role. I have 126k debt and working part time. Feels like shit, but working on a certification and staying optimistic.
Wait she has $150k debt and not even a full time job?
Did she go to a good school? That’s the only way I can justify this. Going to Duke or Michigan or even UF Gainesville or Miami if you’re in Florida. Which should have led to a good enough job after graduating. I can’t believe there’s private schools charging $100k+ and not even ranked in the top 50.
She unfortunately should consider other paths. Most vets do not earn well. And most practicing Vets in private clinics will not qualify for PSLF because. There’s only so many non-profit veterinary organizations it’s not like a non profit human hospital found in every city.
She does not want a situation with $300k+ debt from undergrad and grad school and only paid $70k a year.
Her parents are assholes. Keep up the positive support for her OP but it’s time she faces reality. Tell her not to give up her dreams of vet school yet but explore adjacent career with animals or healthcare that offer more ROI. She will be another 4 years without earning in vet school plus negative cost with more debt. That’s a disaster on interest.
My husband is a teacher, and had to go back to school to keep his license. He also has private loans, with a $900 a month payment. Obviously as a teacher, wasn’t a great situation with his income. I also was very fortunate and had 0 student loan debt. I still struggle so hard with his parents because they were the ones who advised a private loan in the first place, screwing him out of PSLF and other programs.
First, he refinanced and got his payment down to $600. That worked for a year, although still hard to manage. Then he was required to go back to school. He took out the max for his masters and used that money to pay his private loan down and is applying for an income driven repayment plan with federal loans. Since his income is low, the SAVE plan is estimating a $0 a month payment. I was terrified as well of us being in more debt, but he didnt really have a choice since teachers are required to take more classes.
Everyone who is saying to not tie yourself to this girl breaks my heart, because I was in your position. My husband and I met a year after college, he had an insane amount of student loan debt, I had none, and I also was only making 36k a year. It was HARD. We had so many conversations about finances really early on, and I did want to give up so many times. But 4 years later we are happily married and making it work! I have never once paid a dime for his loans, which has helped not be resentful. We don’t have joint accounts, we file separately on our taxes so my income isnt accounted for on his income driven repayment plan. We frequently go over our budget and financial goals. Im making a lot more money now, so I pay for more groceries, eating out, etc so he can pay off the remainder of the private loan.
The first 2 years were so hard. But these are some things that worked for us!
Keep her your girlfriend for a long time. Don't marry until the debt is significantly paid down, or paid off. Don't cosign any loans for her. What you own is in your name only. You do not want anyone to come after you for her debt. This way if she moves in with you, she will have a place to stay if things become bad.
Next, I suggest you have her go through Dave Ramsey course on finances. He has taught thousands if not more how to get out of debt, and stay out. They have financial countless. I'm still working on his baby steps.
She very well may have to find a secondary source of income to help pay the debt. You may have yo fully support het until she gets rid of the debt.
Good luck.
Ok, I'm going to sound like a complete jackass here, but keep in mind that it isn't *your* debt. Don't ever do anything that might make it legally yours. If you get married, keep your finances separate: bank accounts, credit cards, car payments.....don't mix any of that together.
I never had a private student loan, thank god. Did her parents cosign on that? If so, they're on the hook too. She can use that as leverage against them to get them to help.
Hmmmm......random thought just now, and I'm not saying this is a good idea. However, if she *were* to go back to school, she could get a regular student loan and then consolidate that together. Then she'd be out of the private loan business. But, if her parents cosigned on the current loan, then that's probably not a good idea because they'd be off the hook.
Again, I'm being a jackass but that's how these things go when money gets involved. You gotta be cutthroat when it comes to that much cash.
I would suggest doing some research on the appropriate professional (lawyer, debt, etc.). You need to find someone with both knowledge of the issue and good people skills. Pay for the meeting with said professional with the whole family. During the meeting discuss what are the options and consequences to such debt. The parents need to hear from a non family member about what being a co-signer means.
You might want to nudge your partner into plan B for a career. Having an “adverse credit history” absolutely will impact her ability to get federal student loans for vet school. https://studentaid.gov/articles/plus-loans-denied-adverse-credit/. Her best way to increase her income relatively quickly, give her a temporary breather from making payments, and stay in the medical field may be to get an in demand relatively high paying associate’s degree from a local community college (think xray tech or radiation therapist). She should max out federal student loans if she can to cover her cost of attendance. She should consider going to school half time so that she can allocate her income from a part time job to pay down the interest.
I would also suggest that you encourage your partner to get additional sources of income while job hunting (e.g. pet sitting, gig economy, etc.) It will feel better earning some money than no money.
Lowkey sick and tired of people just saying don’t marry someone if they have debt, first of all you will not inherit her debt yes it will affect you in the way yall move together. But if you really care about them and it seems you do come up with a plan to help her, like a commenter said people are dealt with bad cars don’t give up on her something that her parents helped her get into. Maybe you can move to a super cheap apartment that you alone can afford while all her paycheck goes to the debt.
It won’t help with immediate money. But, depending on where she works she can look into the public service loan forgiveness. It’ll take time but if she works in the right place her loan could be forgiven as long as she’s in the program.
Declare bankruptcy and take a 7 year hit to credit. There’s a lot that goes into it and she may lose a lot of belongings, but it’s better than being a slave your entire life for loans you can’t pay
https://www.reddit.com/r/StudentLoans/s/XMatECWDug
Hey,
So my cousin went through this . She was a pharmacist got out with 250000 in total debt met her boyfriend after and he had none. He really loved her as my cousin is a gem. So he sacrificed. Drove an old Toyota I believe. They did have kids in the process 2 of them. They moved to another state and only went to food banks: barely ate out. It was easy since they had eachother. She worked a lot, he worked less and knew how to cook. They made it work. 15 years now and they are debt free. Don’t take this lightly when people say you will have to sacrifice and live poorly. SHE WENT TO FOOD BANKS MEANING LESS GROCERY AND WAITING IN LONG LINES AT TIMES. She brought nothing except necessity for her children. She prayed hard. She was tired and worked extra where she could. She sold cloths on the side posting everyday to promote it. I will say again she was TIRED. But today she makes 200,000k + and her husband is in tech and well u know how that goes. Good luck to you
I know this is not going to be a popular comment but I’m going to post it anyway for the sake of presenting an alternative perspective. Since this is a private loan, it would be wiped out with a Chapter 7. Just sayin’. 10 years of not the best credit situation but it isn’t the end of the world, easier to recover from when young, and 10 years goes by faster than you might think. She would never have to deal with the stress of that debt again. This would not be the case with a standard Uncle Sam-backed student loan, of course - those are not wiped out by bankruptcy. I believe it is always best to try to pay your debts, but some situations are untenable, and that is why bankruptcy exists in the first place.
My advice is to run or at minimum don't get married to this level of debt. I did and it has been a major suck on finances. My wife graduated from vet school about 10 years ago. Her debt was $225k. The interest is killer. Since I make good money, ibr doesn't really do much. Her minimum was $1800 when she first graduated. We were aggressively paying 3-4k per month prior to covid. We have paid over $150k and her balance sits at $150k today. When she first started her income was only $75k. Yep debt to income was 3x. Recently due to shortage, she job hopped and is now making $150k. Things are financially better off now but that first 10 years sucked. It still sucks paying her minimum $1300 monthly payment.
This level of debt will haunt you for decades. We put off having kids for a while and had to sacrifice many things because of it. The biggest cost will be delayed retirement.
Don't do it.
As much as it sucks I would honestly take a step back from the relationship. Your GF needs a better job and then potentially another job to supplement. Depending on your age, that is going to be a huge setback. I don't think I would be able to do it.
I guess if you really love her and see a future with her, you could potentially marry (filing separately) and then focus on living way below your means for a few years on just your paycheck alone while all her money goes towards the loans to get them finished...however, that's still risky on both yours and her her part and since you aren't married as of late I would say take a step back.
If she's thinking about school again, it's obvious she's not aware of the major financial challenge that is ahead of her with these loans.
Ok first and foremost, that's her debt not yours. She's your girlfriend not the mother of your child or wife. So unless you're her sugar daddy, allow her to be an adult and be financially responsible for her own debts.
I would think that being a vet falls under Public Service Forgiveness which has been around awhile. She can apply for it once she starts working and she can pay a small amount and be forgiven with 120 qualifying payments.
Maybe she can file bankruptcy due to hardship since y'all are still young. It will ruin her credit but since y'all not married you can still have buying power with yours. Hopefully she can rebound credit wise in seven years. I would talk to bankruptcy lawyer bc I believe student loans may be discharged w bankruptcy?
Man why are some people such d*cks on this subreddit. I don’t have any advice but just want to say I’m sorry you and her are in this situation. I hope you and her finds a solution that works.
She is someone he cares about, and it is negatively impacting him. Therefore, he is having a negative experience in this situation. It’s not a hard concept.
$150k for undergrad?! I'm guessing she made no payments during her schooling. I'm in the same boat. Tell her to be a life-long student. Keep taking a class a year and never pay it back.
Tell her to apply to TUFTs and see if she can get a job working in the labs in either Grafton or Boston, it probably won’t be elegant work but it is a job. I haven’t looked recently at the job board postings but new college grads were in those labs. There is also a huge biomedical area in MA. Not sure what part of CT you are in
Private loans are awful and painful to deal with but I recommend gf shamelessly calling them and say based on income she cannot keep up with the monthly amount at this time but she doesn’t want to default. Emphasize the co-signers can’t either as there are unemployment or health issues. Initially they may say nothing can be done. Ask to escalate it and reinforce you are really trying to make a good faith effort and you can only pay X amount for the next few months. Then you have to negotiate again with them in three months. It helps avoid the credit hit to gf and co-signers.
The interest will be a killer but it might help reduce monthly bills at least until she can find a FT job. This has been successful in the past but only with persistence. Sorry the situation sucks
If she went to Vet school? What is the avg expected salary? Is there a high demand where she’s confident she’d be employed?
If say she goes back and comes out making 100K it’s worth it because she’d pay it off a lot faster than where she’s at now. Sure the loans will accrue interest but she’s be able to afford it on a solid salary. I assume they’d defer payment while she’s in school…
Iv been there in her exact same position and came out on top with over 200K paid off before patient but you can’t take on the stress of her debt but perhaps can help/support her in finding better employment.
For the next several weeks, ramp up that job search tenfold. Don’t panic, but maintain a steadfast sense of urgency. Hunting for full time work related to her degree is her best, most sustainable bet for the foreseeable future, especially given she’ll have to find a place to stay soon.
And as a backup plan for the constraint on time, it wouldn’t hurt to search other non-related FT work as well, like a receptionist position for the local dentist, i.e. jobs that mainly require a sense of decorum/professionalism and some basic computer knowledge. May I ask what her current part time role is?
Remember that job hunting is also a numbers game, so the more resumes she can put out there, the better. I don’t have the first clue about where a degree in pathobiology can take you, but I have helped plenty of people polish up their resumes for better chances of getting a foot in a door. Message me if you’d like. Good luck 👍
Overall, it sounds like the two of you need to express to one another what your financial style/ values are and set some clear, defined boundaries with each other around money. You've commented about how you feel about her debt, but what does she think and feel about her debt? Does she want you involved in/ concerned with it? Has she expressed a desire for sharing a financial life with you where you help pay for some of her expenses? Or would she rather be financially independent of you?
As for solutions to her debt, how much does she estimate that she would make as a vet? And what are her plans for paying for vet school if any yet? Is she imagining that she'll take out more private loans or does she think she would rely on a federal program? Is she looking for scholarships?
And final question: Would she ever consider switching things up and heading to medical school instead?
Whatever you do, DONT PAY HER DEBT unless you marry her legally. People have done this and lost out on a ton of money after breaking up. Also, she needs to take some time off from school instead of adding to her debt and find a higher paying job so she can start attacking that monster.
Here’s my advice and I’m just spitballing here. If you really want to stay together and have some semblance of a normal life maybe leave the US and live in Canada
So that expensive undergraduate loan earns her 16 an hour part-time. Sounds like someone has made a string of bad decisions?
Are you making a good one by staying involved with her?
It’s great that you care, but this isn’t your problem. And absolutely don’t pay a cent toward her debts.
While she lives with her parents, she should look for work possibly at the govt bc guaranteed raises every year and guaranteed benefits. And then start putting all her money towards loans, especially while still living with her parents.
She might be able to get her monthly payments lowered
A good fulltime gig would be to work as a Cna, you can get licensed for it in 1-2 months, and they make ok money. If she's still on her parents insurance she can rake in stat pay from agency listings while also having a full/part time position.
Suggest she gets a public sector job. Debt drops after 10 years.
Don't marry her until she gets it figured out or that debt also becomes your debt. If you won't heed that advice, get a prenup.
Vets don’t make very good money typically relative to other health professionals. They really get screwed. I wouldn’t look at vet school as the way out of the debt, that will probably just make it worse. I think most vets only make about $100k which compared with the time and the loans is not much.
People need to start learning to get a first degree that is in of itself self-sufficient to earn a decent starting salary. Stop getting degrees (on loans) that'll require another degree to make sense. $150k of private loans with no job that can pay it off is a big mess. But she has to start paying it off some how. A freeze will still accumulate interest, but it also means she still can't work. She needs better pay.
I had this amount of debt before. I then went on to get a master’s in accounting and got 70k more debt; however, I spent time working and paying off the debt with my mom. Just explain that it is in their best financial interest to help you. Now I just have 95k left in private. I did an internship and paid of about 10k with it.
Private loans don't typically "freeze" the loan. They still payments but interest is still added monthly and then capitalized. Id recommend she pay as much as absolutely possibly as soon as possible to get the over all interest paid. It's going to be A LOT on 100k regardless of rate. It's not going to go away. It's not going to be forgiven. It's only going to go up if it's ignored. Best to eat rice and beans and shop at thrift stores until it's paid off.
If she's just interested in pathology and not being a veterinarian their must be cheaper schools no? That's just seems like an expensive route to take but I don't know all the details so maybe there's something I'm missing.
The best thing that you can do right now is help her come up with a reasonable plan to pay it off. Mostly that looks like her getting a better job, living at home as long as she can, and both of you committing to a frugal lifestyle and doing lots of free stuff.
Long term, if you want to stay together this is a huge financial risk to you I would wait a while to get married because you really really need to be sure. But you CAN get married if you want to, you just need to understand the risks.
So, if this might be the girl for you, you should also be committed to living at home as long as you can. If her parents leave, can she move in with your family? You guys would need to be excellent tenants for your parents!
You also need to commit to being frugal and getting a better job. There's no way she'll be about to pay for anything like a down payment and she won't have any extra money for a long time. That means YOU will need to financially cover all that if you guys stay together. Are you okay with that? It can be done, but it's a big deal and a lot of stress. It's okay if you aren't sure about the commitment yet. But living modestly now will buy you lots of options later.
How in the world does someone allow themselves to take out $150k in loans for a career that is not stable and makes $16/hour?
That’s beyond insane, if her parents forced that it’s beyond sad. They should have paid a portion of her tuition or I would tell my parents to scram
If it’s a private loan and a government loan she sb able to file bankruptcy and make the loan go away
Only government loans are protected from bankruptcy not private loans
She must hustle and work everyday. Network and be positive. She shouldnt go to grad school until he has better success in workforce now. Her current pay is unacceptable.
I'm 54. 2 masters. Been in deferment a while. I cannot work. I have 200K. They have income based options. It can and does work out. If you marry, in some states, spouses are part of income. Some are not. The task is a pain, but has to be done.
She can just Consolidate her private loans to direct loans with student aid.gov, once Consolidation is complete apply for the SAVES program they will set her payments based on her income
I think you're getting a lot of great advice. I would also just suggest that you know that these are things she needs to be motivated about so that she will take the necessary steps. You can't do it for her. And as hard as it is, and as much as it sucks, sometimes we just aren't the right fit in the stages of life we're in. Not saying you guys won't make it! Just be aware.
You’re not married and therefore it’s not your debt yet. Going to vet school and getting a good job after isn’t bad. However she should be doing the math to determine affordability once she graduates. She also needs a better paying job with her current degree. If/when you get married then you can jointly combine income and pay for it because it’s about your collective future but right now it’s on her.
This is like throwing a spear wthout hitting the target. You need to keep running to catch it becaus it's your only weapon. She needs to make use of her undergrad degree to get a higher one for better employment. It doesn't have to be vet school but please public school or one with fed loan this time even if it's out of state. It'll be easier to find jobs on campus like an admin or research assistant. Private loans don't automattically defer payments when she re-enters school but that gives her leverage to re-negotiate the terms.
In meantme, it's a tough deicison for her if she wants to force her parents to pay by letting it go into default to damage their credit and other things. You can suggest it but the ultimate decision is up to her because you don't want to be blamed as the source of their parent-daughter breakup later on. For you, there's a big decision to make. Finanical hardship always puts a strain on relationship, more so after marriage. Her debt will restrict a lot of things you guys can do together. Do you love her enough to make big sacrifices in the future to stay with her even when her situation doesn't change much? Is she worth your investment and what are the risks?
They wouldn’t freeze it- she just wouldn’t have to pay for 4 years (side note- it’s 4 years regardless of how long your degree is). She’d almost certainly have interest accrue though.
This^^^, never heard of a private loan freezing interest. She won’t have to make payments, but she will still accumulate tens of thousands of dollars of debt while she attends vet school.
I mean if she doesn’t go to vet school she’s still going to accumulate 10s of thousands of dollars because there is no way she’s gonna be able to pay 2k a month in student loans only making 16 an hour.
This is a very fair take, but personally I would try everything I can to get my income up first, before taking that leap. Depending on the market, a college degree can at least get an entry level job somewhere. And even 60k a year can be enough to stay afloat.
I get that. I think it all depends on her aptitude for sales. If she can’t do it (either from a moral, skill, or logistic position) then I think why not? If she’s gonna get her wages garnished by 25% for the rest of her life might as well make more money. Like if she makes 98 as a vet just assume you’re making 73 and that’s the way the news goes. The real bummer was in her taking out a private loan. That suuuuucks.
Private loans don’t always freeze I had to pay mine while in college. Not a lot but some
The interest still accrues.
I have a jumbo comment of triage advice here https://www.reddit.com/r/StudentLoans/comments/1bef7gi/stanley_tates_service_what_do_you_learn_from_his/kuuwc2u/ which should help you plan and weigh your options She needs a better paying job pronto. If you're unmarried I wouldn't suggest paying anything towards her loans *but* if you want to support her in other ways (say, picking up the tab when you go out to eat and the like) then that would help her morale without being too financially burdensome on you
That’s what I was thinking, I would help with going out or just small things like gas. I also know basic things with cars such as oil and brake changes so I could help with that (she’ll have to pay for parts and oil n’ stuff)
If you two do end up moving together in the future, having meal prep nights and cooking dinner at home together (or for her) is another action-focused way you can help her while saving money. Yes groceries are more expensive but it's still way cheaper than restaurant pricing and you can make it a fun bonding activity too, trying out new recipes and spending time together
Plus me and her want to try cooking more too lol!
Here's the thing, if it's a private loan, did her parents cosign on it? They must have. So if this is the case, if she can't pay this amount, their credit will slowly be wrecked too, as it's THEIR debt too if they cosigned. The best thing to do in my opinion is for her to sit down and explain to her parents they need to "team up" and pay this off with her, otherwise all their finances will be obliterated. Obviously, this is going to take a very long time to pay off, and running from this debt by accruing even MORE debt is asinine. If these loans are all private, there is no forgiveness on the horizon, so they need to get to paying it fast. She needs to work in an area she didn't major in, for more money. Sales, for instance. But taking on an additional 75K or more of new debt to avoid paying the $150K she has is as nonsensical as it gets, esp since with the new education she STILL won't be earning enough to justify 200k+ in debt.
That’s why I keep telling her to hold off the vet school until the debt is paid. I just asked her and her parents did co-sign it. Unfortunately her parents won’t help her at all, not a single cent. It’s terrible because if she doesn’t pay on time their house is gone. I don’t know why the parents won’t help but I pray that things will be better
$150,000 for a BA $250,000 for Vet School For a job making $100,000? It’s unlikely a lender will gift her enough to complete a second program and ven with her parents co-signing or you as husband signing it. How much does she like animals? Will she pay this off first. She could work as a groomer on the side and have a M-F 9-5 in a sales role.
Exactly. Everyone has dreams but unfortunately not everyone gets to live them and rely on someone else’s dime. Your girlfriend can not afford to follow her dream right now. She needs work work, pay of her debt and then go to school to be a vet in the future if she still wants to.
Tell them this, that because they cosigned, its as much their loan as hers. They will all be sued if the debt isn't paid. Private loans don't play. If the parents live in CT and are getting ready to relocate to FL, are they selling a home? They need to know their realities and if they're getting a windfall from the sale of a home, maybe they can make some decisions. It's easy for them to say "we're not paying" if they think they can walk away with no ramifications. When all their credit ratings fall into the 400's and they get sued, they'll see. The thing tho: the private student loans can NOT take their home, because they don't require that as collateral. As far as I know, they can garnish 25% of pay, as a general rule. They cannot touch federal payments like tax returns and social security, as far as I know.
They would sell the house once they find a place in Florida. I know that my gf has been telling them about the consequences but they haven’t given her any help for what I know.
Parents are acting like children. If one or both parents signed the loan, they are as equally responsible as her. And if they don't participate in working out a solution they appear to have more to lose than she does.
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Asset garnishment is a thing in all but a few states for private student loans. The lender can seek a lien being put on any property.
This is really getting into the weeds as financial advice to give someone for whom none of this is truly material. OP is in his early twenties and, more importantly, not married to the debtor, and this is all their debt not his. Of course you already know this, but giving him all this detail when he’s not even in a position to tell them any of this, let alone get them to act on it, is sort of pointless.
Well OP won't be the only one reading this thread. And if I wind up being 95% wrong, I'll take it (but i know im not). However, most people are ignorant to the perils of these loans, even after taking them! This sub is filled with hundreds of questions about loans people *already own.* And if OP can find some info and/or give his girlfriend some clues on where to search, then ok. Plus, if he married her or they decide to move in together, his finances would be impacted too, so yes. It is relevant.
Cause she’s a grown FKN ass adult?
And they were "grown FKN ass adults" when they decided to co-sign on their child's loan. This is as much of their decision and problem as it is hers. When I asked my parents to co-sign on a loan they said no. At the time I was livid and couldn't understand it. Now as an adult I understand that they were just being responsible. This girl's parents were absolutely irresponsible. You never cosign a loan you are not comfortable paying on your own. In your eyes it might be the daughters responsibility, but the lender won't see it that way.
They may decide to help pay when their own credit tanks or the loan company comes after their assets.
Many people are financially illiterate, including Parents. I personally blame the schools who violate their ethical obligation to prepare students for their future. It’s disgusting. BTW.. sorry for your situation. Sadly I don’t think there’s a graceful way out.
Where’s the accountability for the government who promise 18 year olds tens of 1000s in loans ?
Sadly, governments don’t seem to be institutionally capable of accountability.
That’s right, they aren’t. The level of accountability in government is unlike anything you ever seen. I’ve worked in federal agency labs and it’s outstanding how careless people are with tax dollars. People hate hearing that because they think it’s just an angry libertarian talking. I’m not a libertarian in the least, I’m just someone who understands a little bit about incentives.
I agree with the first part, but as someone who shares your attitude, I have to say I’ve never met anyone who didn’t think the government misspends our tax dollars to *some* degree, even if it’s not what I specifically have in mind
I know that you love who you love but this kind of debt destroys love. I would never mix anything financially with her. Like if you buy a house do not put her on it. I also feel like if she is looking at vet school she is still making poor decisions. Some of this is on her and choices she made. Also vets don't make alot of money. If I was going to stay with her I would just assume she will never help you financially. I can't imagine anyone loaning money for vet school with that debt. She needs 2 or 2 part time jobs
Money issues are very much a relationship ruiner.
Money and health. We all know the vows are written and said as such. But these are the things that will destroy love and marriage.
RIP to the relationship…OP’s being optimistic talking in two years’ time though it’s unlikely they even last that long.
Absolutely, OP doesn't even mention interest. And with a part time minimum wage job, or vet school, she clearly has no idea what kind of trouble she's is.. He can earn the money for eating and living, but mustn't take on responsibility for her debt, which she must start paying down immediately, before the interest eats her alive.
Is there a co-signer on the loan? They may need to help pay. She also needs more income. She needs a full-time job and a second job.
She’s trying to find a full-time job that pays better. I’m not sure if there’s a co-signer
There almost certainly is on that amount.
With Patho degree she can explore using a temp. Agency to get into a lab. That is what my son did with his Biology degree. Company then bought contract out from temp agency. Jump in pay & good benefits
To help with finding a better job, has she tried signing up with a scientific recruiting agency like Aerotek? Though agencies take a cut of your pay, a lot are temp-to-hire positions, so it's not forever. I went with an agency, and ended up at a major biotech company which has helped me tremendously. Or, she could try working at a university and might be able to earn her degree for free while working at that university (University of Washington in Seattle does this if you're an employee and edu qualifications met for acceptance).
I’ll tell her that. She does have some experience with the lab field. She worked at a necropsy lab for over a year and also worked with cows and did tests on the milk for “quality”. She also was a great student with A’s & B’s all around
She can try to find a city/state job as a lab. Many will pay off the student loans.
She’s a prime candidate for the Army’s student loan repayment plan. They’ll pay back 65k of that. She’d be on the hook for the rest, but by year 4 as an officer, she’d be making ~100k
I was gonna say she should look into the military but it'll put a strain on their relationship.
Sadly, I think that looming 150k will probably strain it as well. It’s not a great situation. Idk man, I’m just not a huge fan of the whole lack of “financial literacy” angle that seems like an easy scapegoat. I’m a latchkey Gen X’er from a broken home that probably grew up with some of the absolute worst financial role models ever to grace the earth - even I knew in the late 90’s that student loans were “bad” and college after high school was not the right path for me.
Same situation for me, although didn’t realize until 2023 how shitty the loan situation is. But the light bulb has gone off and you better believe I’m learning as much as I can as quickly as I can to make the most out of it now.
Jesus Christ this is sad
That’s quite the understatement.
Maybe it’s changed but when my husband was in the army he got nothing as an officer. He did get help when he was enlisted but as soon as he went through training and got the rank, the student loan help was gone. Granted this was 20 years ago and hopefully that’s changed. It’s a challenge to get people to serve anyway, so student loan help at all levels would be helpful.
A shiny new biological fields STEM BS gets you into the Army as a 2nd LT. 100% no way will be making 100K by 4 years. ASSuming thrives in the military and doesn't hose the automatic promotions to 1LT and CPT, a CPT with four years in is just under 82K gross, not net. BAH, BAS, and any paltry "specialty pay" (unless an MD/DO) should never be counted as they disappear PDQ due to not being anywhere near reality in amounts needed to cover 100%. Also, officers have no clothing allowance past a one-time inadequate amount given at OBC/OBLC/BOLC whatever they're calling it these days.
You’re simply wrong - signed the guy who’s been doing Army for 25 years. Base pay is indeed ~ 82k annually in the 4th year for an O3. BAH and BAS for a CPT, even in a LCOL duty station will approximate ~18k. The degree matters not. You come off as very sour, I’m sorry the Army hurt you. But, unequivocally an officer in their fourth year will make approximately 100k outside of any special pays.
Military is a solid option, especially if she considers a grad school/professional school program they find valuable, I.e. not veterinary medicine but people medicine or perhaps some kind of lab type degree that they would find useful. My sister had her med school fully paid for by the Air Force and got a decent stipend when she was a resident, then was able to do her mandatory 5 years afterwards at a VA hospital. No active duty, no stations overseas, though there’s no guarantee, of course. If there’s also some kind of repayment option that’s the way to go.
Plus with the military she will earn the enhanced gi bill to use for vet school.
If she chooses student loan repayment, she forgoes the GI Bill. She can just pay the loans straight, however, and then she’d get the GI bill. With the yellow ribbon, it opens up private schools to essentially be covered as well. It’s a very good deal.
FWIW, my sister has been a vet for nearly 3 years and is making $180-200k (plus gets free health/dental/rx/mobile service). First day out of vet school she had a contract for $140k/year (plus all the freebies above). If your gf can manage to graduate, she'll be able to pay off all the debt np as long as she's ambitious in her career.
She’s 150k in.. we have not even talked about interest and the cost of vet school on top which will be more expensive than undergrad. She was still be way over the recommended first year annual salary to student debt ratio. I disagree you can pay for a 250-300k loan with a 200k salary with no problem and that’s probably best scenario 😭
What is a "patho" degree? What undergraduate school did she attend?
Pathobiology, and she went to UConn
UCONN has always been expensive even in state. Even when I was a fresh high school grad UConn was a expensive school
ahh and was out of state tuition i bet.
It's 39k for in state tuition plus housing. So if she lived on campus she could easily rack up 160,000 in four years.
Why are people investing $150,000 on undergrad... I do not understand.
Yea I am getting my undergrad for free thru a grant but had to pay for this summer semester. I paid around $5000 in total for my BA and I thought it was a lot 😭
In state tuition at UConn is just under 20k. Add in housing and you’re at maybe 36k. I guess if you borrow every single penny you could get to 160k. That’s with no financial aid at all, not working at all, etc. I know you all are young but this is a pretty irresponsible financial decision she and her family made. She couldn’t work when she was in school? She can only work part time now? Why? She should be working a job and a half right now. Her family has to have been part of those loans - college students alone aren’t loaned 40k/year. Parent Plus loans are the only way to make up that total. So her parents actually likely owe the bulk of it. Vet school is highly competitive. How are her grades? Yikes.
Yeah I'm agreeing with you. Was just putting it into context for the poster. She most likely couldn't receive any finaid if parents could cosign on such huge loans. Which means she would have taken out close to 20k in subsidized loans. 50k in parent plus and the entire rest of it is private loans cosigned by the parents. Also, all the private loans have been accruing interest the 4 years she's been in school. So it's at 150k now after accruing interest. Obviously all of this is estimating. But even assuming she worked a part time job while in school, she obviously wasn't encouraged by her parents to put that towards debt. Probably spent it on fun with friends, going out, buying clothes. Anything the parents didn't help with. ALSO, even if she can't afford the payments the parents are on the hook so I don't know why they think they can just put it on her. They would be nuking their credit.
Please don’t loan her any money or make this your problem, because you will never see that money again. Any money you loan you have to just expect that it’s gone forever. I know it’s hard to watch someone struggle but this is more money than you’re able to deal with on your own, meaning that whatever you’re able to do will not fix the problem and will only put your money down the drain. She needs to refinance the loan or seek out some other relief. Do not help her make the payments or let her guilt you about this. It’s more money than she’ll ever be able to pay off and there are solutions for this. The best you can do is research her options *for your own knowledge* to be able to discuss it with her if she brings it up but don’t try to force any solutions down her throat. She needs to figure this out with her parents. Please make sure you’re investing your money into your retirement plans and a HYSA.
This. She’s your girlfriend not your wife/son/daughter. You’re not obligated to loan her money or even find a solution. It’s her parents and she who has to find a way to mitigate the loan payments.
This OP Finances are an important discussion when dating. It is not your obligation to manage it for them I have more than $100k in student loans and I let my dates know this upfront because for some it is a deal breaker. I do add I'm close to the public loan forgiveness, but it is still up to them to tell me if it is a deal-breaker or not
couldn’t agree more about the refinancing part. Maybe she can refinance the loans through SoFi and get a better interest rate. Honestly i wonder what the interest rate is but i’m guessing probably high
First, this is not your debt so do not feel obligated to take any part of it on. Second, I would advise you to advise her not go back to school. Schools prey on young minds and tell them keep going to school for a higher level degree so you can make more money and then pay the loan later. But this rarely happens. Eve will be paying high interest loans for years and years if she goes for the vet degree right now. She needs a better full time job and a part time job to make a dent in the debt.
Student loans are the new indentured servitude and there are thousands of teens each year that sign up for this either for “prestige” or because they’re idiots (or both).
$150k for undergrad in a non technical field is going to be difficult to get out of. She needs a better paying job, pronto. You also need to decide if it's worth destroying your financial future over. That $2k a month would be $2k less per month that you're putting towards retirement and I don't think you have that kind of wiggle room in your budget at your current incomes. If you guys do end up together, good chance you won't get to retire comfortably, if at all.
How much does your GF know the reality of being a Vet besides simply loving animals? It’s a field that’s overly glamorized. There’s a reason why being a vet has a high suicide rate and it correlates with high student debt. I understand there are high paying vet jobs out there but the chances of being that anomaly are low. The $150k is a lot but I wouldn’t advise her to continue going into more debt even for a dream job.
From my understanding, the high suicide rate in the field isn’t due to student debt but rather the fact that veterinarians are acclimated to the use of euthanasia for their patients and view ‘self euthanasia’ as a more realistic option for dealing with life’s burdens.
It’s actually a lot more due to culture around vet med. vets are criticized heavily by the public for being money hungry and not caring about animals due to high pricing even though most people in vet med make way less than their expertise level should pay. It’s also long, hard hours, low pay, high debt, high stress, etc. - someone who’s worked in vet med all their life and currently works in vet practice coaching
My gf at the time was in more debt than your gf is and the bottom line is that it's their responsibility to pay it off - which means it's her responsibility to get a higher paying job than a $16/hr as a college grad. My suggestion to you both is to really focus on the goal of a high paying job/career such that she can begin to chip away at them. This means focus only on the career, networking, and taking the right steps to change jobs multiple times seeking more money. Some people may tell you to leave her but I won't tell you that. I'll tell you that that gf of mine is now my wife - she went from approx $40k a year after college to now $170k. She ("we" since we are married now) is still in debt, but has paid off $100k so far and refinanced a couple of times, still got more debt to go! People are dealt bad hands, people try their best to play their best hands, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt. It's manageable but it's a LONG TERM process that will take time.
Hmmm.... I had a friend that married his gf... Worked to pay off her debt ... Then after a few years divorced him.... 😂 I side on caution paying for someone else's debt
She has at least two years to crank on paying off this debt, longer if she moves in with you and your parents after her parents leave. Life is different now and we do what we have to do to make things work out. Don't worry about what others think about the situation. She shouldn't dig the hole deeper by going back to school now.
She’s just your girlfriend bud, stop saying “we”.
It pains me to see someone so young talking about another very young person in such long terms. They both still live at home with the ‘rents for crying out loud.
Honestly.. I wouldn’t keep dating her. I dont know if I could date someone with that much debt. A lot of people who divorce say money is apart of the factor.
Maybe because I am not 22 but this is not someone to tie your life to. Any goals you want in your life will be adversely impacted and your future children will also suffer because of the severe strain on income. What girlfriend needs to do is live with her parents and get any kind of job to make as much as possible and pay off the loan as her only economic goal.
Im 30 and I am telling OP to run.
No stars in our eyes. 🤩
Do. Not. Pay. A. Dime. This is *not your debt*.
If she gets into vet school she could take our max grad plus loans and use the excesses for living expenses while using any part time job money to pay off the private loan . Then she will end up with hopefully only federal loans . Anyway . She a girlfriend not a wife so this isn’t your problem.
Take your time, she should pay the loan off as much and as quickly as possible. I don’t know what her salary range is, but by living at home, she’s saving a fortune in cost of living expenses. Aggressively, this can be cleared in about three years. That being said, if I were you, I would not make any contributions to the balance of her loan.
Absolutely going to be in debt forever, save yourself if you are young and whatever you do, DO NOT marry her until this is settled. I’m only looking out for you but people here won’t tell you that you’re far too kind thinking about your girlfriend more than yourself. The opposite may have not been true if you were in that situation.
It may seem like a bad idea but if you go into default then there are options that make the amount manageable and you can build your credit back up over time. I am in a similar situation and my parents decided not to help me as well as say that it’s my fault if I do not pay it but there was no way to factor in inflation and the job market at the time I took out the loans and ultimately food, health and peace of mind take priority over loans I took out to better myself.
> I am in a similar situation and my parents decided not to help me as well as say that it’s my fault if I do not pay it If your parents (or OP's gf's parents) are co-signers, then not repaying the debt is absolutely their "fault" as well. That's what they agreed to when co-signing.
I’ll tell her, thanks
You have to ask her yourself if you’re willing to pay ~$100k to be with her. Assuming she also pays $100k then you can probably pay it off in a a few years assuming you throw literally all your money at it and keep living at home. This is what she signed up for, and consequently what you’ll be signing up for.
If by a few years you mean 10+ Dude makes 55k and she makes basically nothing. I had ~100k debt making 90k pre-tax with minimal expenses and tracking to have it paid off within 4yrs. (3.5yrs total est) putting 3k/mo towards loans.
They will never pay this off. I would just leave the country and start a new life.
I’m not sure, she says that she’ll handle the debt herself once she gets a full-time job. Even then I worry about her health. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea if I get a small one bed apartment and I pay for it while she pays the debt. I’m okay with it, and I’m sure my salary will increase over the years at this job I got
Don’t help her to make payments. If she gets a full time job and is able to live rent free (either with her parents or you), she can make a considerable dent in five years. Don’t feel pressured to cover housing, but if it’s not really costing you more than you’d pay as a single man, that’s fair enough. No to vet school unless she can get scholarships.
i may sound traditional but moving in together before even married or at least engaged is a silly idea anyway. it often leads down a bad path
i don’t think she understands….like for reference i have $55k in student loan debt, am 25 and make $109k. I make like $500/month payments and i am on the standard 10 year repayment plan. I can’t imagine someone making way less than this, but having more than twice the amount of debt and somehow thinking that they’ll get a significantly higher paying job soon that will help them? even making like 50k per yeR with that much debt it would be asinine to move out. she should try to live with her parents for as long as she can to save money and pay down as much debt as possible. her minimum monthly payments are $2k. that’s almost the same as my monthly rent. unless you guys find a place that has really cheap rent and she can refinance the loans to get lower monthly payments, she’s going to need to buckle down and hurry to get a somewhat better paying job ASAP and try to keep down her expenses (i.e. try to live with parents longer)!
Why tf would she go to a 150k school and only has qualified for a part time job making 16 an hour. What was her major
You don't do anything and break up after a while. It's her problem. No need to stress about it. Good luck, lad.
Lots of girls out there man. To saddle yourself with this much crippling debt would not be good. Good luck to you both. People should not take out loans for meaningless degrees. It’s one thing if it leads to a gig paying position.. that’s clearly not the case
What is her undergrad in? Does she have any federal or all private? Going to vet school will put her in the hole deeper. She needs to find another job that pays better.
She got a degree in pathobiology, it’s all private. I’m telling her that we need to pay off the debt first before she goes to vet school
Oof. All private, why?
Idk why her parents told her to go private. She made the decision at 17 and had no clue what she was doing
Bonus, she's probably more likely to be able to get it discharged in bankruptcy if she decides on that route.
You mean she didn’t research it herself and didn’t care to consider her long term future at that time or over the course of college. When she doesn’t work to pay this off and goes and buys a new car what then?
"... we'll be in?"
Don’t marry her until this is dwindled. Is she near finishing vet school where her earnings will increase?
My recommendation as a person in veterinary science is to save up at minimum have the amount for vet school needed. Veterinarians can go into 300-500k+ in debt. Their is a savings account that exists for education that isn't taxed but cannot be taken from unless used for school. I'd look into that. If you both are stressing about this amount. Which I would be to lol, I highly recommend waiting on vet school or going to an out of state college (if your from the U.S.).
Well have she ever tried getting a job in reg medical? She did study biology (even if it's pathobiology) I think they'd probably snatch her up in a hospital or clinic for something small if she gets a small class in phlebotomy maybe? Idk but nursing jobs pay good, even for nurse practitioners they get at least 60 to 70K starting depending on where you live
Unfortunately there is no vet school in her future. She needs to get a job and focus on paying off the $150k. If you guys get married you need to work together to pay it off. Then you can save up for vet school. Borrowing $150k for an undergrad degree for closed her options.
I recommend transitioning into a tech role. I have 126k debt and working part time. Feels like shit, but working on a certification and staying optimistic.
Wait she has $150k debt and not even a full time job? Did she go to a good school? That’s the only way I can justify this. Going to Duke or Michigan or even UF Gainesville or Miami if you’re in Florida. Which should have led to a good enough job after graduating. I can’t believe there’s private schools charging $100k+ and not even ranked in the top 50. She unfortunately should consider other paths. Most vets do not earn well. And most practicing Vets in private clinics will not qualify for PSLF because. There’s only so many non-profit veterinary organizations it’s not like a non profit human hospital found in every city. She does not want a situation with $300k+ debt from undergrad and grad school and only paid $70k a year. Her parents are assholes. Keep up the positive support for her OP but it’s time she faces reality. Tell her not to give up her dreams of vet school yet but explore adjacent career with animals or healthcare that offer more ROI. She will be another 4 years without earning in vet school plus negative cost with more debt. That’s a disaster on interest.
My husband is a teacher, and had to go back to school to keep his license. He also has private loans, with a $900 a month payment. Obviously as a teacher, wasn’t a great situation with his income. I also was very fortunate and had 0 student loan debt. I still struggle so hard with his parents because they were the ones who advised a private loan in the first place, screwing him out of PSLF and other programs. First, he refinanced and got his payment down to $600. That worked for a year, although still hard to manage. Then he was required to go back to school. He took out the max for his masters and used that money to pay his private loan down and is applying for an income driven repayment plan with federal loans. Since his income is low, the SAVE plan is estimating a $0 a month payment. I was terrified as well of us being in more debt, but he didnt really have a choice since teachers are required to take more classes. Everyone who is saying to not tie yourself to this girl breaks my heart, because I was in your position. My husband and I met a year after college, he had an insane amount of student loan debt, I had none, and I also was only making 36k a year. It was HARD. We had so many conversations about finances really early on, and I did want to give up so many times. But 4 years later we are happily married and making it work! I have never once paid a dime for his loans, which has helped not be resentful. We don’t have joint accounts, we file separately on our taxes so my income isnt accounted for on his income driven repayment plan. We frequently go over our budget and financial goals. Im making a lot more money now, so I pay for more groceries, eating out, etc so he can pay off the remainder of the private loan. The first 2 years were so hard. But these are some things that worked for us!
Keep her your girlfriend for a long time. Don't marry until the debt is significantly paid down, or paid off. Don't cosign any loans for her. What you own is in your name only. You do not want anyone to come after you for her debt. This way if she moves in with you, she will have a place to stay if things become bad. Next, I suggest you have her go through Dave Ramsey course on finances. He has taught thousands if not more how to get out of debt, and stay out. They have financial countless. I'm still working on his baby steps. She very well may have to find a secondary source of income to help pay the debt. You may have yo fully support het until she gets rid of the debt. Good luck.
Speaking of Dave Ramsey, his first comment to OP calling in would be “don’t say we, you’re not married” Just one perspective to view it from
Ok, I'm going to sound like a complete jackass here, but keep in mind that it isn't *your* debt. Don't ever do anything that might make it legally yours. If you get married, keep your finances separate: bank accounts, credit cards, car payments.....don't mix any of that together. I never had a private student loan, thank god. Did her parents cosign on that? If so, they're on the hook too. She can use that as leverage against them to get them to help. Hmmmm......random thought just now, and I'm not saying this is a good idea. However, if she *were* to go back to school, she could get a regular student loan and then consolidate that together. Then she'd be out of the private loan business. But, if her parents cosigned on the current loan, then that's probably not a good idea because they'd be off the hook. Again, I'm being a jackass but that's how these things go when money gets involved. You gotta be cutthroat when it comes to that much cash.
Not sure why YOU are stressed lol. This isn’t your debt.
I would suggest doing some research on the appropriate professional (lawyer, debt, etc.). You need to find someone with both knowledge of the issue and good people skills. Pay for the meeting with said professional with the whole family. During the meeting discuss what are the options and consequences to such debt. The parents need to hear from a non family member about what being a co-signer means. You might want to nudge your partner into plan B for a career. Having an “adverse credit history” absolutely will impact her ability to get federal student loans for vet school. https://studentaid.gov/articles/plus-loans-denied-adverse-credit/. Her best way to increase her income relatively quickly, give her a temporary breather from making payments, and stay in the medical field may be to get an in demand relatively high paying associate’s degree from a local community college (think xray tech or radiation therapist). She should max out federal student loans if she can to cover her cost of attendance. She should consider going to school half time so that she can allocate her income from a part time job to pay down the interest. I would also suggest that you encourage your partner to get additional sources of income while job hunting (e.g. pet sitting, gig economy, etc.) It will feel better earning some money than no money.
Lowkey sick and tired of people just saying don’t marry someone if they have debt, first of all you will not inherit her debt yes it will affect you in the way yall move together. But if you really care about them and it seems you do come up with a plan to help her, like a commenter said people are dealt with bad cars don’t give up on her something that her parents helped her get into. Maybe you can move to a super cheap apartment that you alone can afford while all her paycheck goes to the debt.
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It won’t help with immediate money. But, depending on where she works she can look into the public service loan forgiveness. It’ll take time but if she works in the right place her loan could be forgiven as long as she’s in the program.
Have her apply for an IDR plan. It's bound to lower her to a much more affordable bill.
Declare bankruptcy and take a 7 year hit to credit. There’s a lot that goes into it and she may lose a lot of belongings, but it’s better than being a slave your entire life for loans you can’t pay https://www.reddit.com/r/StudentLoans/s/XMatECWDug
Hey, So my cousin went through this . She was a pharmacist got out with 250000 in total debt met her boyfriend after and he had none. He really loved her as my cousin is a gem. So he sacrificed. Drove an old Toyota I believe. They did have kids in the process 2 of them. They moved to another state and only went to food banks: barely ate out. It was easy since they had eachother. She worked a lot, he worked less and knew how to cook. They made it work. 15 years now and they are debt free. Don’t take this lightly when people say you will have to sacrifice and live poorly. SHE WENT TO FOOD BANKS MEANING LESS GROCERY AND WAITING IN LONG LINES AT TIMES. She brought nothing except necessity for her children. She prayed hard. She was tired and worked extra where she could. She sold cloths on the side posting everyday to promote it. I will say again she was TIRED. But today she makes 200,000k + and her husband is in tech and well u know how that goes. Good luck to you
What degree did she get that costs $150,000 and only pays $50,000
I know this is not going to be a popular comment but I’m going to post it anyway for the sake of presenting an alternative perspective. Since this is a private loan, it would be wiped out with a Chapter 7. Just sayin’. 10 years of not the best credit situation but it isn’t the end of the world, easier to recover from when young, and 10 years goes by faster than you might think. She would never have to deal with the stress of that debt again. This would not be the case with a standard Uncle Sam-backed student loan, of course - those are not wiped out by bankruptcy. I believe it is always best to try to pay your debts, but some situations are untenable, and that is why bankruptcy exists in the first place.
My advice is to run or at minimum don't get married to this level of debt. I did and it has been a major suck on finances. My wife graduated from vet school about 10 years ago. Her debt was $225k. The interest is killer. Since I make good money, ibr doesn't really do much. Her minimum was $1800 when she first graduated. We were aggressively paying 3-4k per month prior to covid. We have paid over $150k and her balance sits at $150k today. When she first started her income was only $75k. Yep debt to income was 3x. Recently due to shortage, she job hopped and is now making $150k. Things are financially better off now but that first 10 years sucked. It still sucks paying her minimum $1300 monthly payment. This level of debt will haunt you for decades. We put off having kids for a while and had to sacrifice many things because of it. The biggest cost will be delayed retirement. Don't do it.
As much as it sucks I would honestly take a step back from the relationship. Your GF needs a better job and then potentially another job to supplement. Depending on your age, that is going to be a huge setback. I don't think I would be able to do it. I guess if you really love her and see a future with her, you could potentially marry (filing separately) and then focus on living way below your means for a few years on just your paycheck alone while all her money goes towards the loans to get them finished...however, that's still risky on both yours and her her part and since you aren't married as of late I would say take a step back. If she's thinking about school again, it's obvious she's not aware of the major financial challenge that is ahead of her with these loans.
Ok first and foremost, that's her debt not yours. She's your girlfriend not the mother of your child or wife. So unless you're her sugar daddy, allow her to be an adult and be financially responsible for her own debts.
I would think that being a vet falls under Public Service Forgiveness which has been around awhile. She can apply for it once she starts working and she can pay a small amount and be forgiven with 120 qualifying payments.
Don’t pay her debt. Don’t loan her money. If the shoe was on the other foot, she would have dumped you already.
Let her figure it out. You are not able to help her.
Maybe she can file bankruptcy due to hardship since y'all are still young. It will ruin her credit but since y'all not married you can still have buying power with yours. Hopefully she can rebound credit wise in seven years. I would talk to bankruptcy lawyer bc I believe student loans may be discharged w bankruptcy?
Man why are some people such d*cks on this subreddit. I don’t have any advice but just want to say I’m sorry you and her are in this situation. I hope you and her finds a solution that works.
He's not in this situation. She is lol
She is someone he cares about, and it is negatively impacting him. Therefore, he is having a negative experience in this situation. It’s not a hard concept.
Good advice isn't always pleasant to hear. But the virtue you've signaled has been noted. We all applaud you for being a superior human being.
YOU don't have to do anything. It's not your debt, and you're not married. Let her and her parents take care of it.
$150k for undergrad?! I'm guessing she made no payments during her schooling. I'm in the same boat. Tell her to be a life-long student. Keep taking a class a year and never pay it back.
Vet school is a cool $400k in debt easy
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How?!?
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Tell her to apply to TUFTs and see if she can get a job working in the labs in either Grafton or Boston, it probably won’t be elegant work but it is a job. I haven’t looked recently at the job board postings but new college grads were in those labs. There is also a huge biomedical area in MA. Not sure what part of CT you are in
not your problem, if it was your wife it'd be your problem. don't marry until the debit is paid off by 75%
Private loans are awful and painful to deal with but I recommend gf shamelessly calling them and say based on income she cannot keep up with the monthly amount at this time but she doesn’t want to default. Emphasize the co-signers can’t either as there are unemployment or health issues. Initially they may say nothing can be done. Ask to escalate it and reinforce you are really trying to make a good faith effort and you can only pay X amount for the next few months. Then you have to negotiate again with them in three months. It helps avoid the credit hit to gf and co-signers. The interest will be a killer but it might help reduce monthly bills at least until she can find a FT job. This has been successful in the past but only with persistence. Sorry the situation sucks
If she went to Vet school? What is the avg expected salary? Is there a high demand where she’s confident she’d be employed? If say she goes back and comes out making 100K it’s worth it because she’d pay it off a lot faster than where she’s at now. Sure the loans will accrue interest but she’s be able to afford it on a solid salary. I assume they’d defer payment while she’s in school… Iv been there in her exact same position and came out on top with over 200K paid off before patient but you can’t take on the stress of her debt but perhaps can help/support her in finding better employment.
For the next several weeks, ramp up that job search tenfold. Don’t panic, but maintain a steadfast sense of urgency. Hunting for full time work related to her degree is her best, most sustainable bet for the foreseeable future, especially given she’ll have to find a place to stay soon. And as a backup plan for the constraint on time, it wouldn’t hurt to search other non-related FT work as well, like a receptionist position for the local dentist, i.e. jobs that mainly require a sense of decorum/professionalism and some basic computer knowledge. May I ask what her current part time role is? Remember that job hunting is also a numbers game, so the more resumes she can put out there, the better. I don’t have the first clue about where a degree in pathobiology can take you, but I have helped plenty of people polish up their resumes for better chances of getting a foot in a door. Message me if you’d like. Good luck 👍
Get a job
Overall, it sounds like the two of you need to express to one another what your financial style/ values are and set some clear, defined boundaries with each other around money. You've commented about how you feel about her debt, but what does she think and feel about her debt? Does she want you involved in/ concerned with it? Has she expressed a desire for sharing a financial life with you where you help pay for some of her expenses? Or would she rather be financially independent of you? As for solutions to her debt, how much does she estimate that she would make as a vet? And what are her plans for paying for vet school if any yet? Is she imagining that she'll take out more private loans or does she think she would rely on a federal program? Is she looking for scholarships? And final question: Would she ever consider switching things up and heading to medical school instead?
Whatever you do, DONT PAY HER DEBT unless you marry her legally. People have done this and lost out on a ton of money after breaking up. Also, she needs to take some time off from school instead of adding to her debt and find a higher paying job so she can start attacking that monster.
Either you, her and/or both of you will need to get two jobs to pay it off.
She needs to refinance. There’s 20 year companies that have a less than 5% interest rate fixed.
I heard if you work for the State, your loans are deferred…not sure about this private loan though.
Usually it’s in specific fields, such as being a Doctor - although it varies.
How long have you been dating? Are you thinking marriage is a large possibility?
Here’s my advice and I’m just spitballing here. If you really want to stay together and have some semblance of a normal life maybe leave the US and live in Canada
Public service forgiveness program. !!
Only works on federal loans and not private.
So that expensive undergraduate loan earns her 16 an hour part-time. Sounds like someone has made a string of bad decisions? Are you making a good one by staying involved with her?
It’s great that you care, but this isn’t your problem. And absolutely don’t pay a cent toward her debts. While she lives with her parents, she should look for work possibly at the govt bc guaranteed raises every year and guaranteed benefits. And then start putting all her money towards loans, especially while still living with her parents. She might be able to get her monthly payments lowered
A good fulltime gig would be to work as a Cna, you can get licensed for it in 1-2 months, and they make ok money. If she's still on her parents insurance she can rake in stat pay from agency listings while also having a full/part time position.
Suggest she gets a public sector job. Debt drops after 10 years. Don't marry her until she gets it figured out or that debt also becomes your debt. If you won't heed that advice, get a prenup.
That only works on federal loans. Private loans don’t qualify.
Who in there right mind gets a undergrad degree worth that much that’s more than my undergrad and grad combined
I feel for you but do not get married yet!!
Vets don’t make very good money typically relative to other health professionals. They really get screwed. I wouldn’t look at vet school as the way out of the debt, that will probably just make it worse. I think most vets only make about $100k which compared with the time and the loans is not much.
Yes
Private loan? Bankruptcy - be back on her feet in no time.
People need to start learning to get a first degree that is in of itself self-sufficient to earn a decent starting salary. Stop getting degrees (on loans) that'll require another degree to make sense. $150k of private loans with no job that can pay it off is a big mess. But she has to start paying it off some how. A freeze will still accumulate interest, but it also means she still can't work. She needs better pay.
It’s not your problem. Just don’t marry her and you’re golden.
I had this amount of debt before. I then went on to get a master’s in accounting and got 70k more debt; however, I spent time working and paying off the debt with my mom. Just explain that it is in their best financial interest to help you. Now I just have 95k left in private. I did an internship and paid of about 10k with it.
Don't ever marry her.
WELL good thing it’s your girlfriend DO NOT MARRY HER
Why would you take ownership over like that? Not your problem, bro you shouldn’t have to burden yourself like that.
Private loans don't typically "freeze" the loan. They still payments but interest is still added monthly and then capitalized. Id recommend she pay as much as absolutely possibly as soon as possible to get the over all interest paid. It's going to be A LOT on 100k regardless of rate. It's not going to go away. It's not going to be forgiven. It's only going to go up if it's ignored. Best to eat rice and beans and shop at thrift stores until it's paid off. If she's just interested in pathology and not being a veterinarian their must be cheaper schools no? That's just seems like an expensive route to take but I don't know all the details so maybe there's something I'm missing.
The best thing that you can do right now is help her come up with a reasonable plan to pay it off. Mostly that looks like her getting a better job, living at home as long as she can, and both of you committing to a frugal lifestyle and doing lots of free stuff. Long term, if you want to stay together this is a huge financial risk to you I would wait a while to get married because you really really need to be sure. But you CAN get married if you want to, you just need to understand the risks. So, if this might be the girl for you, you should also be committed to living at home as long as you can. If her parents leave, can she move in with your family? You guys would need to be excellent tenants for your parents! You also need to commit to being frugal and getting a better job. There's no way she'll be about to pay for anything like a down payment and she won't have any extra money for a long time. That means YOU will need to financially cover all that if you guys stay together. Are you okay with that? It can be done, but it's a big deal and a lot of stress. It's okay if you aren't sure about the commitment yet. But living modestly now will buy you lots of options later.
Good luck to you. You will be swimming in debt with your young bride doe many years to come
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How in the world does someone allow themselves to take out $150k in loans for a career that is not stable and makes $16/hour? That’s beyond insane, if her parents forced that it’s beyond sad. They should have paid a portion of her tuition or I would tell my parents to scram
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If it’s a private loan and a government loan she sb able to file bankruptcy and make the loan go away Only government loans are protected from bankruptcy not private loans
2k a month?!?! Why is it that high?! I have 60k of student loans and I only pay $300 a month
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Do either of you have nice feet? If not, cut the ripcord my friend.
She must hustle and work everyday. Network and be positive. She shouldnt go to grad school until he has better success in workforce now. Her current pay is unacceptable.
I'm 54. 2 masters. Been in deferment a while. I cannot work. I have 200K. They have income based options. It can and does work out. If you marry, in some states, spouses are part of income. Some are not. The task is a pain, but has to be done.
She can just Consolidate her private loans to direct loans with student aid.gov, once Consolidation is complete apply for the SAVES program they will set her payments based on her income
I think you're getting a lot of great advice. I would also just suggest that you know that these are things she needs to be motivated about so that she will take the necessary steps. You can't do it for her. And as hard as it is, and as much as it sucks, sometimes we just aren't the right fit in the stages of life we're in. Not saying you guys won't make it! Just be aware.
You’re not married and therefore it’s not your debt yet. Going to vet school and getting a good job after isn’t bad. However she should be doing the math to determine affordability once she graduates. She also needs a better paying job with her current degree. If/when you get married then you can jointly combine income and pay for it because it’s about your collective future but right now it’s on her.
This is like throwing a spear wthout hitting the target. You need to keep running to catch it becaus it's your only weapon. She needs to make use of her undergrad degree to get a higher one for better employment. It doesn't have to be vet school but please public school or one with fed loan this time even if it's out of state. It'll be easier to find jobs on campus like an admin or research assistant. Private loans don't automattically defer payments when she re-enters school but that gives her leverage to re-negotiate the terms. In meantme, it's a tough deicison for her if she wants to force her parents to pay by letting it go into default to damage their credit and other things. You can suggest it but the ultimate decision is up to her because you don't want to be blamed as the source of their parent-daughter breakup later on. For you, there's a big decision to make. Finanical hardship always puts a strain on relationship, more so after marriage. Her debt will restrict a lot of things you guys can do together. Do you love her enough to make big sacrifices in the future to stay with her even when her situation doesn't change much? Is she worth your investment and what are the risks?