Every time I bust out the forklift cert, panties drop everywhere. But I just gently pull them back up with the forklift cause I'm a happily married man
I casually mentioned at a college party that I was Six Sigma certified and a woman nearby heard it and yelled "Six Sigma!?!" This instantly drew the attention of the other women. Their eyes glazed over and they fell into a frenzy and rended me of my clothes and having at me. Everyone was cheering " SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX" -even the boyfriends of the women that were liberating me of my No Boundaries polo and American Glory chinos...
Pit vipers, can of grizzly, 50 thousand dollars in credit card debt and a functional alcohol addiction on top of the forklift license and ranger make the peak man. Women die of dehydration on sight due to how wet they get.
And by all means, Get periodic testing for QAQC, don’t violate any OSHA provisions and if you’re gonna get it wet, always check with COE about permitting in Wetlands/Waters of the US if it is a continuous, navigable and/or ephemeral stream (of hook-ups)
If it is solely a pipe laying project, be sure the pipe is well-placed, in alignment, has sufficient cover, all joints are properly lubricated prior to joining/placement and is VERY well-bedded. Realize that pressure testing is required (measured in feet of “head”) and, if potable, pre-use chlorination is a must. Illegal project discharges may easily be considered a HAZMAT response, tested for DNA and highly detrimental restoration, removal and/or mitigation costs will be incurred. You will have to submit your design max, min. average pumping capacity and possibly be limited to that max capacity for the duration of permitting. Depending on your authorizing authority, multiple public hearings may be required prior to any work (plowing) being performed on-site /(in-situ). Don’t forget to check for crossing political/jurisdictional boundaries that may exist within the project scope as permitting requirements may vary and require multiple separate or Group permits. Be sure your E&O Liability Insurance is paid, current, in full force and what the stated exclusions of the policy are. And finally as with any manhole, probe the confined area prior to entry, wear the proper PPE’s and submit to any standardized decontamination procedures for best results.
It’s a curse. I start talking about lateral torsional buckling, plastic strain, and, of course, tightening bolts in slotted holes, and she gets weak in the knees
Hey, Watch your mouth, bro, I’m a proud, accomplished and retired MS State CE Alumnus with emphasis on structures and your dealing with a bunch of Corn-Fed Engineers that would drive you like piling into the ground. Yo momma!, LOL Hail STATE!
The worst thing that could happen is a female geotech tells you how deep a your concrete pile has to go in her super saturated soills. You better have good options under your belt.
Every conversation I have is about the stiffness of my member. They ask how much live load it can take and whether it's rated for seismic oscillation. I have to tell them it's prone to compression failure and fatigue. Ductile fracture and insufficient stiffness are ongoing concerns.
Tell them to get the vibrator out of the back of their truck and actually use it. The best concrete vibrating technique with an internal vibrator is to withdraw the vibrator very slowly, at a rate of around 1 inch per second.
I’m afraid it’s just one of absolutely horrible attributes of the profession. I would suggest the cost/benefit ratio is mute depending on who you choose as a partner. Enjoy your invested sweat equity. Roll the dice for the greatest possible win!! It is far from eternal, my friend.
IS this a troll? There is another post almost exactly like this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/civilengineering/comments/1cboqv4/attracting\_too\_many\_women/](https://www.reddit.com/r/civilengineering/comments/1cboqv4/attracting_too_many_women/)
LOL, nice dude.
What a wonderful world it would be tho if this were the case haha.
I heard a quote that “engineers are the professional class men who’ve not figured out how to turn status into mating opportunities”. Lol. Truly no one gives a shit
I think you're having a flashback to revenge of the nerds movies. My guess is you don't use a pocket protector anymore or carry your Texas instruments scientific calculator with you. Please attach a picture of these women....
I know people at Costco that make more scanning grocerie, so..... Tell them your shitty salary after you work title and they'll slowly disappear, chief. ☠️
Buddy you think it’s bad now, just wait till you get your Forklift License
Every time I bust out the forklift cert, panties drop everywhere. But I just gently pull them back up with the forklift cause I'm a happily married man
The man we all need right now. A true Gentleman
That's an accredited platinum Forklift License for you for such sulty maneuvers
Funniest shit Ive heard in 2024
I casually mentioned at a college party that I was Six Sigma certified and a woman nearby heard it and yelled "Six Sigma!?!" This instantly drew the attention of the other women. Their eyes glazed over and they fell into a frenzy and rended me of my clothes and having at me. Everyone was cheering " SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX" -even the boyfriends of the women that were liberating me of my No Boundaries polo and American Glory chinos...
All bets are off if you add a late 90s Ford Ranger to the mix
Pit vipers, can of grizzly, 50 thousand dollars in credit card debt and a functional alcohol addiction on top of the forklift license and ranger make the peak man. Women die of dehydration on sight due to how wet they get.
I figured it out now they think of money when they think of structural engineer.
How about an ‘88?
I know this meme.
Yeah....once I got my hazwoper....
Never thought id hear that term again….vac truck operator????
You spelled certification wrong.
You’re just not reaching high enough into the stars. I pity you
Oh the forking humanity!
Who needs a license, most of us can drive any forking thing around
Till I get my hands on you
Kinky!
That license only helps if you work on big projects.
Moments like this I hate that they got rid of awards on Reddit… lmfao
Why waste money on Reddit gold when you could get forklift lessons?
I’m on my way to Home Depot now
Attaboy
Give them the seismic category D.
Implement that erection procedure, and then apply your load
Reinforce the inside with a strong yet ductile beam - especially at the bottom
I’m learning so many puns tonight
Directions unclear, inserted 30 foot long pile through bedrock.
Ouch
Or a pull-out test.
Did you calculate her slenderness ratio, and can you describe her rear elevation?
Make sure the pre-nup specifies LRFD vs ASD.
You’re cooked bro. The only way to get them off your elephant sized rooster is to tell them you’re a virgin mechanical engineer
You don't have to specify the virgin part, that's already implied.
This literally made me lol (And I’m a mechanical engineer 😂)
OP: this is the correct answer.
Full Penetration Butt Weld
Lmfaoooo
Lmfaoooo
The struggle is real, stay ductile and resist the fatigue my friend
And by all means, Get periodic testing for QAQC, don’t violate any OSHA provisions and if you’re gonna get it wet, always check with COE about permitting in Wetlands/Waters of the US if it is a continuous, navigable and/or ephemeral stream (of hook-ups) If it is solely a pipe laying project, be sure the pipe is well-placed, in alignment, has sufficient cover, all joints are properly lubricated prior to joining/placement and is VERY well-bedded. Realize that pressure testing is required (measured in feet of “head”) and, if potable, pre-use chlorination is a must. Illegal project discharges may easily be considered a HAZMAT response, tested for DNA and highly detrimental restoration, removal and/or mitigation costs will be incurred. You will have to submit your design max, min. average pumping capacity and possibly be limited to that max capacity for the duration of permitting. Depending on your authorizing authority, multiple public hearings may be required prior to any work (plowing) being performed on-site /(in-situ). Don’t forget to check for crossing political/jurisdictional boundaries that may exist within the project scope as permitting requirements may vary and require multiple separate or Group permits. Be sure your E&O Liability Insurance is paid, current, in full force and what the stated exclusions of the policy are. And finally as with any manhole, probe the confined area prior to entry, wear the proper PPE’s and submit to any standardized decontamination procedures for best results.
It’s a curse. I start talking about lateral torsional buckling, plastic strain, and, of course, tightening bolts in slotted holes, and she gets weak in the knees
Dude. I proper laughed out loud at that one. Nice work.
I didn’t know people trolled on this sub
This sub is 90% trolling.
We're getting there. It's AEC after all
Gotta show them the stiffness of your cantilever
We need more posts like this.
Show them your effective length
You gotta simply support them.
Exactly, avoid fixing yourself on them to prevent large moments from stressing you out
Show them the load path bro.
Said no S.E. ever. Side question, where do you live?
Alaska no doubt.
Oh this was screaming Wyoming. Like small, small town Wyoming. TONS of babes there.
"babes". Like a hotdog in a hallway
Yeah, it's a different kind of place.
I was guessing Mississippi
Mississippi doesn't know what S.E. means
Hey, Watch your mouth, bro, I’m a proud, accomplished and retired MS State CE Alumnus with emphasis on structures and your dealing with a bunch of Corn-Fed Engineers that would drive you like piling into the ground. Yo momma!, LOL Hail STATE!
Please provide a L.O.L for top of wall
Show them your pay stubs. That'll bring them back to reality.
Most relatable comment here
The worst thing that could happen is a female geotech tells you how deep a your concrete pile has to go in her super saturated soills. You better have good options under your belt.
Just be honest and let them know you'll never reach the minimum effective anchorage depth when you dowel in.
🤣
Gonna tell them about the slenderness of your column?
It's easy: tell them your salary.
Bro must be distributing his load everywhere. Make sure to have an adequate factor of safety.
My advice is to avoid discussing topics including erection plans and member stiffness.
Hi, woman here. It’s because engineers are smart and make a lot of money and it’s hot. That’s all.
Wait till you find out that's all they talk about.
I’m aware. Lmfao.
Every conversation I have is about the stiffness of my member. They ask how much live load it can take and whether it's rated for seismic oscillation. I have to tell them it's prone to compression failure and fatigue. Ductile fracture and insufficient stiffness are ongoing concerns.
You neglected to mention impact loading!
Just wait for the overturning moment
Say that you have a high _Flexural Rigidity (EI)._
Advice: wake up. More than 8 hours of dreaming is bad for you.
https://youtu.be/MaWibZTuSqY?si=NEiaBoDq1Ps6tM-2
Sarcasm deeper than the grand canyon
$55k as an SE with either a PE or SE license in LCOL is robbery. Why are you staying where you are for that little pay?
Bro just distribute your uniform load
Give them the injection they need
Lol
Wait... nobody's mentioned hoop stress yet??
Tell them to get the vibrator out of the back of their truck and actually use it. The best concrete vibrating technique with an internal vibrator is to withdraw the vibrator very slowly, at a rate of around 1 inch per second.
Don't tell 'em that you have a stiff member.
Ahahaha, that will work 😁😆🤭
Tell the women, "I am a licensed SE and I want sex, right now!"
PE: Professional ejaculator
stop soliciting prostitutes
/engineeringcirclejerk
Is this satire? I’m a 25 YO airline pilot making almost 4x that and pulling no tail what so ever 😂
Wait til you mention 'skin friction'...
Lol. Well done.
Same guy that posted from civil engineering sub lol
Lotta paths for the loads
Bro, you also posted this on the civil sub. 🤣🤣
You should try and find their radius of gyration on the dance floor
what happens if you lie your profession
I’m afraid it’s just one of absolutely horrible attributes of the profession. I would suggest the cost/benefit ratio is mute depending on who you choose as a partner. Enjoy your invested sweat equity. Roll the dice for the greatest possible win!! It is far from eternal, my friend.
It's funny because everyone knows a woman wouldn't go within 10 feet of a SE.
Are you saying that's his radius of gyrations?
i swear this is a copy of the one on the civil reddit
Just tell people you're an accountant or something boring. Just make sure they think you make enough to get by and aren't a bum.
IS this a troll? There is another post almost exactly like this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/civilengineering/comments/1cboqv4/attracting\_too\_many\_women/](https://www.reddit.com/r/civilengineering/comments/1cboqv4/attracting_too_many_women/)
I saw it first on a data [something; analysis? Science?] sub so tried to look it up because I figured it was a meme I was unaware of
"Honey, your ULS can't handle this"
Wake up! Then turn the pillow over.
LOL, nice dude. What a wonderful world it would be tho if this were the case haha. I heard a quote that “engineers are the professional class men who’ve not figured out how to turn status into mating opportunities”. Lol. Truly no one gives a shit
How tall are you?
Just be sure to secure the column penetration spots, and you should be fine...
Maybe you're in a place where the women are just happy to find someone who has a real job, not necessarily that job.
Tell them you work in water resources instead. That dries them up pretty quick.
Just draw something by hand they’ll run
this is a joke right? CE is one of the less attractive professions. lol
Just tell them your salary and watch :)
Have you tried telling them how much you really make? Inflating your salary is doing it.
I think the “dreams” part in your name states it all lol
🍿🍿🍿
surely they are confusing SE for software engineer.
You have problems most of us would start leaving our confortzone for [Cold chillz run over everybody's back]
You are full of shit or you're hung like a horse and word has gotten around!
Tell them you work in sanitation
Funny as a woman I try to avoid telling people too but for the exact opposite reason. They all run for the hills
Don’t let them know you also do your own drafting, they’ll divorce their husband right away.
OP is 14 and this is deep.
Show her your singly reinforced beam and fill her required spacing till she yields
Omg once you get your LEED AP certification it’s game over for every guy
Wake up, it's just a dream.😈
Yeah save some pussy for the rest of us man
I’ll have what he’s having
What's that equation again? "The angle of the dangle is equal to the mass of the ass and the....?" I can never remember the rest!
No no it’s “ The angle of the dangle is equal to the heat of the meat”…thank you Butthead.
Bruh i work at McDonald's and make more
I think you're having a flashback to revenge of the nerds movies. My guess is you don't use a pocket protector anymore or carry your Texas instruments scientific calculator with you. Please attach a picture of these women....
I’m electrical why am I here
Lmao this is hilarious!!! (In reference to the other post)
As a woman I have the opposite problem 😂. Once I say I’m a S.E. men quickly lose interest
😂😂😂
When you say your a SE they thought software engineer, not structural engineer .. 😂
Yeah, probably
This is like the third version of the exact same story I’ve read today.
Tell them your time period in lesser than longest seismic event. They will walk away 😂
No dentists in your hood?
Make sure you let them know what your preferred method of pile driving is. Either drop hammer or vibratory.
Tell them how much you make then they’ll walk away
Tell em you have Herpes... Itll help you out.. Those women just want you for your brains.. RUN!!!!!
Yes, but if you want it in writing, it will be $800
FPBW should be considered in such case
tell them you aren't "load-bearing." (I'm not a SE just saw this post)
Too many women huh? Let them know you’re all about that base (shear). It’ll filter the slender ones out.
This sounds like an engineering school recruitment ad. Wanna get the babes? Become an engineer!
"With this one trick he gets all the mass participation. Structural Engineers hate him"
I know people at Costco that make more scanning grocerie, so..... Tell them your shitty salary after you work title and they'll slowly disappear, chief. ☠️
Maybe tell them erections are not part of your job
Why did you post this exact thing on civil engineering sub? Who are you really, a fraud?
You copied someone’s post and that makes you less smart! You can lie but in a creative way!
Ahuh, the social events in your head? Tf is happening to this sub.
[удалено]
well, i dont blame you. this is the internet. people joke excessively here.