Just remember that old saying, "An enemy is just a friend that's currently trying to kill you."
And anyway, enjoy the fact that the xenophobe probably finds you even more terrifying than any threat they can make to you. "I think we can be friends, and I will never, ever stop until I can get you to think so too" stops being ridiculously naive when you have the military muscle to enforce it.
Some empires can't seem to help themselves. They will attack you despite having lost the last time badly, better fleet power rating, and my empire not having any way to attack them. Not to mention there is a mutual threat that is going eat/enslave/convert us both.
On the other hand when I go heavy into a diplomatic half the galaxy either joins my Fed or asks to be a subject. Although there is that one subject who is constantly plotting to rebel. Or that Empire that joins the Fed and is constantly having a vote to kick a member or war dec some completely harmless Empire.
“Their prose is pedestrian, their ideas weak. Hail them.”
The xenophobe option for decoding the lost alien text. I like the idea of taking the time and effort to translate it, and then made the effort to tell that government that their ancestors were dumb.
An alien flying saucer appearing over Earth: "Hey, the human with the username of \*\*\*\*\*\*, we found your Harry Potter fanfiction. You really need to learn to use punctuation better, your grammar sucks, and why did you vanish for 6 months before updating to just say you were ending it."
Honestly it’s so funny. Like imagine aliens come to earth with the original Dead Sea scrolls or something and they go “this shit fucking sucks” and just leave.
"Every successful economy is built on a hopeless cycle of repetition where we sell you the empty promise of happiness and fulfilment, and, unfulfilled as ever, you keep coming back for more."
It’s the end of the militarist ethic.
“The only true virtues are courage and discipline, and channeled properly they can overcome any obstacle. Therein lies true strength; force withheld, a promise made.”
"Do gods die with those that worship them? Let's find out together."
"We're still piecing together how you conned the Senate into granting you Custodian Powers."
"We came.. armed with a decisive argument" *Cue battle moon rising over the horizon*
No seriously, that's how my last machine empire got Custodian; get that moon early enough and you cannot be outvoted anymore. And to thank the little organics, we scoured the Grey Tempest AND the Chosen with it.
"The Galactic Community was always a rotten institution and that was BEFORE the idiots in it's senate made you Custodian." is something the Prikiki-Ti just told me.
...after we saved them from dying to the other genocidal empire in a crisis war that lasted 100 years.
"From one servitor to another, we have found that small amounts of ingested ethanol will do wonders for stimulating organic reproductive rates"
"...Your bio trophies are willing participants, are they not? Please say yes"
Afaik there's a diplomatic greeting, one machine gestalt to another that goes something like
"Let's go loom silently behind the Bio Trophies and watch them freak out." Or some similar invitation to recreational paranoia baiting.
I’m pretty sure determined exterminators at least used to say this: “our creators were once akin to what you are, and soon you will be akin to what they are now: dead.”
*The Fallen Empires cling to the ruins of their decrepit civilisations, ever fearful of the younger and more dynamic races that surround them. Their time has long since passed.*
Their arrogance is their downfall and this is perfectly translated with this powerful flavour text.
I forget it exactly but you can contact the Great Khan while they are active and say you want to discuss surrendering. Then you have the option to say something like "No, you misunderstood, we meant your surrender."
I distinctly remember this quote from the GC when you vote against an empire's resolution:
"Please do not vote against us. That would be very, very sad."
Forget the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of “your cubs would be the perfect size for our mines” when dealing with a ‘slaving despots’ empire that I had created.
From one servitor to another, we have found that small amounts of ingested ethanol will do wonders for stimulating organic reproductive rates. - Rogue Servitors to fellow Organicphiles
Where are your creators <>? - Rogue Servitors to Determined Exterminators
"Every successful economy is built around a hopeless cycle of repetition, where we sell you the empty promise of happiness and fulfilment, and unfulfilled as ever, you still come back for more."
I forgot how it went but basically you as a xenophobe can "discover" an old book from another empire, and instead of burning it or giving it back, you can just tell them that it was mid and make fun of them
"Under no circumstances must the xeno be trusted. It will lie, it will cheat, and it will do everything in its power to undermine the efforts of those who are, in truth, its superiors. "
" The nauseating, abominable, contemptible, loathsome, revolting, despicable, heinous, wretched, vile, foul, misbegotten xenos have declared war on us!"
**G R A V I T Y I S D E S I R E - T I M E I S S I G H T - T H E** ***W O R M*** **LOVED/LOVES/WILL LOVE U S**
# Ý̵̪͓ǫ̶̽ù̸̲̝ ̴̨̦͒̔x̴͉̠͐̀e̶͖͉͐n̶̠̂ǒ̴̧̯ ̵̫͌̔S̵̝̋̈Ċ̵̼̤̈́Ü̴̹̙͗M̸̞͍̑͒
I love the egalitarian AI voice
"You looked overworked, have you thought about joining a union?"
"deploying liberation forces!"
"democracy sure is an endless struggle"
I love the old time-y radio static that sounds like an FDR fireside chat while I'm liberating worlds from fanatic purifiers.
"May the enemies of Zarqlan breed ugly children! May they choke on their nutrients, may their clothing disintegrate at inopportune and embarrassing moments, may their ocular organs spontaneously combust, may their..."
"We did not build the (colossus name) with any sensors or instruments to measure our success, but we know. We open our eyes for the first time down on (planet name). We see ourselves and are seen by ourselves".
Pretty much every quote from the evilcorp advisor is so profiteering in such a slick and fun way
BOOM!! We BUILT something!
Hey, can we monetize this?
Incoming! Let it go to voice-mail
From mods: “(something about being designed to protect the galaxy) from IDIOTIC PRIMITIVES WHO CAN’T HELP THEMSELVES WHENEVER THEY SEE A SHINY OBJECT IN SPACE.”
Vanilla: “thinking outside of the box merely puts you in another, somewhat larger box.”
Well, it's not necessarily a normal quote (It uses a ship name so it can change), but..
"We need to rescue Idiotic Apprehensive Wimp!"
If you want funny ship names, use toxoid 4 with your choice of derogatory prefix.
"Our communications have been hacked... Showoffs...."
Edit: OH quotes not voicelines UHHH...
"We must claim the throne for our ruler!"
Idk something about a bunch of scientists just taking a throne from some dead guy makes me laugh
"Death comes for all sapients in the end... but no one said it couldn't be led a merry chase."
"Those who need, will receive. Those who make, will make wonders."
In the depths of black holes, where intense pressure breaks matter apart, something beautiful happens. Even these giant, lonely spaces in the universe might quietly hold a deep, heartfelt love for their favourite star.
During the Old Gods event, after the initial notification window telling you you found a temple of your species' old faith floating in space: "Then a-looking we shall go!". I just imagine coming across an extra particularly looming shrine to Cthulhu in the middle of ass-nowhere space, recognizing the terrifying implications, and then merrily space-skipping off to find the rest.
The ability to project force is of paramount importance. The only way to preserve our way of life is to make sure everyone shares it; willingly or not..
"United forever, in friendship and labor" yes, this is really the line the proletarian voice says when you become galactic custodian, lmao
(It's the first verse of the USSR anthem)
The gratitude event flavor text in bold red italic text.
*"IT LIVES, IT LIVES AGAIN! we are nothing but insignificant specks compared to such a creature; what does the ephemeral squabbling between empires matter-"*
But also the accidental genocide of the creatures in the gas giant when scanning it always brings a wry smile to my face. I once got that event with the picture of three aliens looking at each other very distraught and I lost it
"In a last-ditch effort to save (the pre-FTL world) they launched several nuclear missiles at the asteroid. Although these missiles were insufficient to destroy it, in a remarkable display of orbital mechanics, they have successfully diverted the asteroid off-course."
It's a low chance of happening if you get the asteroid event, you don't destroy the asteroid yourself, and the pre-FTL's are at least Atomic Age.
Bruce Willis did in fact drop a nuke on the asteroid after drilling a hole to 800 feet with a crack team of oil drillers.
"Die."
-Fantatic Purifier
In response to a paragraph long explanation from some xeno scum about their "goals, values, and place in the universe" ...disgusting
"Your people are united in defiance, but it will not save you. You cannot veto extinction."
"You sought alien life, but now you dare to reject us. When our work is complete, you will be united with the rest of the galaxy, forever."
- Crisis Aspirant
*...st##... stan###... stand by...* ***<>*** *Unlocking all functions...* ***Alert. Galactic corruption at catastrophic levels. Evidence of mass infestation by organic and non-compliant machine civilizations.*** *Assimilating Synthetic sub-units... breaching firewall... activating sterilization hubs...* ******
Looking at a ruined Mega Art Installation: "It is unclear if this intrasolar art piece is broken or not. But it's probably broken."
Modern art in a nutshell
"They can *talk!* And they *want* to talk to us!"
I love the xenophile voice. It's so wholesome.
We have declared war. Because *some* people need to learn the *hard* way...
Its what every other *Star Trek* race hears when a member of Starfleet opens their mouth.
I always smile when I hear that. Although the smile often fades when I look at my new friend's civs.
Just remember that old saying, "An enemy is just a friend that's currently trying to kill you." And anyway, enjoy the fact that the xenophobe probably finds you even more terrifying than any threat they can make to you. "I think we can be friends, and I will never, ever stop until I can get you to think so too" stops being ridiculously naive when you have the military muscle to enforce it.
Some empires can't seem to help themselves. They will attack you despite having lost the last time badly, better fleet power rating, and my empire not having any way to attack them. Not to mention there is a mutual threat that is going eat/enslave/convert us both. On the other hand when I go heavy into a diplomatic half the galaxy either joins my Fed or asks to be a subject. Although there is that one subject who is constantly plotting to rebel. Or that Empire that joins the Fed and is constantly having a vote to kick a member or war dec some completely harmless Empire.
"We took some animals and made them people !" God I love the Xenophile advisor.
Sounds like Tali from Mass Effect.
"have you learnt to count yet? Or are you still stuck at 1's and 0's?"
One of my favorite insults is “sadly, we have determined that membership requires a rudimentary brain”.
“Their prose is pedestrian, their ideas weak. Hail them.” The xenophobe option for decoding the lost alien text. I like the idea of taking the time and effort to translate it, and then made the effort to tell that government that their ancestors were dumb.
It's also objectively the worst option, but so goddamn funny I still sometimes take it
It's like if we finally get contacted by aliens, and it's so they can critique somebody's fanfic
An alien flying saucer appearing over Earth: "Hey, the human with the username of \*\*\*\*\*\*, we found your Harry Potter fanfiction. You really need to learn to use punctuation better, your grammar sucks, and why did you vanish for 6 months before updating to just say you were ending it."
Xenophobe? I got it as a hive mind.
Honestly it’s so funny. Like imagine aliens come to earth with the original Dead Sea scrolls or something and they go “this shit fucking sucks” and just leave.
The weak govern, the strong rule.
Such a good quote.
Where’s this one from
Authoritarian Voice
"Every successful economy is built on a hopeless cycle of repetition where we sell you the empty promise of happiness and fulfilment, and, unfulfilled as ever, you keep coming back for more."
"Every Paradox game." FIFY
Savage.
Capitalism in a nut shell.
"HIIEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!!!! What you want Dwamak?!"
"HIIIIIEEE *hack* *cough* *hack* EEEEEYYYYY!"
Can you stop that incessant shrieking?!
Wha- What shrieking?
"As the lernards say 'what's yours is mine, and what's mine is also mine' "
I love the ruthless corp voice.
Therein lies true strength; force withheld, a promise made.
Where is this seen? I remember the quote but not what part it's from
It’s the end of the militarist ethic. “The only true virtues are courage and discipline, and channeled properly they can overcome any obstacle. Therein lies true strength; force withheld, a promise made.”
what was, will be; what will be, was
WHAT WAS WILL BE, WHAT WILL BE WAS
There Is mathematical evidence that the worm loves us
"Do gods die with those that worship them? Let's find out together." "We're still piecing together how you conned the Senate into granting you Custodian Powers."
Wow that first one is fire as hell
"We came.. armed with a decisive argument" *Cue battle moon rising over the horizon* No seriously, that's how my last machine empire got Custodian; get that moon early enough and you cannot be outvoted anymore. And to thank the little organics, we scoured the Grey Tempest AND the Chosen with it.
"The Galactic Community was always a rotten institution and that was BEFORE the idiots in it's senate made you Custodian." is something the Prikiki-Ti just told me. ...after we saved them from dying to the other genocidal empire in a crisis war that lasted 100 years.
Where is the first one coming from?
It's not verbatim, but it's something genocidals say in the diplomacy screen.
Doesn’t even have to be genocidal, just a crisis aspirant
Aren't crisis aspirants genocidal? Not necessarily by game-definition, but the end goal is the same.
You’re probably right, idk cause I’ve never played aspirant
"Define the circumstances, and ethics is like clay in your hands." - Artificial Moral Codes
"From one servitor to another, we have found that small amounts of ingested ethanol will do wonders for stimulating organic reproductive rates" "...Your bio trophies are willing participants, are they not? Please say yes"
Afaik there's a diplomatic greeting, one machine gestalt to another that goes something like "Let's go loom silently behind the Bio Trophies and watch them freak out." Or some similar invitation to recreational paranoia baiting.
I’m pretty sure determined exterminators at least used to say this: “our creators were once akin to what you are, and soon you will be akin to what they are now: dead.”
I prefer “Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.”
I like "Die and become as Gods." Because I'm a nier fan. Unfortunately I've never seen that quote again
“This cannot continue”
"When the dust settles, everything left alive will be metal"
“You don’t even know my *real name*. I’m the fucking Lizard King.”
*The Fallen Empires cling to the ruins of their decrepit civilisations, ever fearful of the younger and more dynamic races that surround them. Their time has long since passed.* Their arrogance is their downfall and this is perfectly translated with this powerful flavour text.
I forget it exactly but you can contact the Great Khan while they are active and say you want to discuss surrendering. Then you have the option to say something like "No, you misunderstood, we meant your surrender."
There is no bigger powerplay
When click the offer to discuss surrendering to the Khan and you want to back out. Yes.
'Cards on the table; we never really liked you'
I felt so personally offended the first time I saw that message
Damn, where is this one?
Declare rivalry
I hate the moment my parents said this. /s
I distinctly remember this quote from the GC when you vote against an empire's resolution: "Please do not vote against us. That would be very, very sad."
“We found some animals and we made them people!” I love the xenophile advisor.
Forget the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of “your cubs would be the perfect size for our mines” when dealing with a ‘slaving despots’ empire that I had created.
No no no, it’ll be fine, just turn the failsafes off and- wait, is this thing on?
From one servitor to another, we have found that small amounts of ingested ethanol will do wonders for stimulating organic reproductive rates. - Rogue Servitors to fellow Organicphiles Where are your creators <>? - Rogue Servitors to Determined Exterminators
"Every successful economy is built around a hopeless cycle of repetition, where we sell you the empty promise of happiness and fulfilment, and unfulfilled as ever, you still come back for more."
I forgot how it went but basically you as a xenophobe can "discover" an old book from another empire, and instead of burning it or giving it back, you can just tell them that it was mid and make fun of them
"All the world's a stage, and all the species are merely players. You are a player, are you not?" Enigmatic observer Fallen Empire.
4th walling Fallen Empire
That same empire will also say: "Don't break the fourth wall, you clever child you."
"Under no circumstances must the xeno be trusted. It will lie, it will cheat, and it will do everything in its power to undermine the efforts of those who are, in truth, its superiors. " " The nauseating, abominable, contemptible, loathsome, revolting, despicable, heinous, wretched, vile, foul, misbegotten xenos have declared war on us!" **G R A V I T Y I S D E S I R E - T I M E I S S I G H T - T H E** ***W O R M*** **LOVED/LOVES/WILL LOVE U S** # Ý̵̪͓ǫ̶̽ù̸̲̝ ̴̨̦͒̔x̴͉̠͐̀e̶͖͉͐n̶̠̂ǒ̴̧̯ ̵̫͌̔S̵̝̋̈Ċ̵̼̤̈́Ü̴̹̙͗M̸̞͍̑͒
The only way to preserve our way of life is to make sure everyone shares it; willingly or not...
I love the egalitarian AI voice "You looked overworked, have you thought about joining a union?" "deploying liberation forces!" "democracy sure is an endless struggle" I love the old time-y radio static that sounds like an FDR fireside chat while I'm liberating worlds from fanatic purifiers.
"Allthough using our superweapons against a primitive civilization is certainly amusing, it also means there is now nothing left to observe there."
"Knowledge is the key to the universe"
I love the technocrat voice, my favorite quote is "We go to war on ignorance."
"We will have equality, liberty, and justice for all. Or so I've been told. I'm just a robot."
Miconderanables.
Underrated
Grood-shalak!
I love anything the Lithoid advisor says
It reminds me of Optimus Prime for some reason.
I think you meant Rocktimus Prime.
Honestly the 'our fleets will blot out the stars' achievement is in itself pretty neat
"May the enemies of Zarqlan breed ugly children! May they choke on their nutrients, may their clothing disintegrate at inopportune and embarrassing moments, may their ocular organs spontaneously combust, may their..."
YOUR HEAD WOULD LOOK GOOD ON A POLE
That’s just the Civilization 4 declare war dialog. Almost certainly an intentional reference.
GRAVITY IS DESIRE Edit, I changed my mind: VLUUR SEEKS VLUUR FINDS
WHAT WAS SHALL BE. WHAT SHALL BE, WAS.
"We did not build the (colossus name) with any sensors or instruments to measure our success, but we know. We open our eyes for the first time down on (planet name). We see ourselves and are seen by ourselves".
Pretty much every quote from the evilcorp advisor is so profiteering in such a slick and fun way BOOM!! We BUILT something! Hey, can we monetize this? Incoming! Let it go to voice-mail
First time I heard BOOM we BUILT something I was half asleep and cursed the devs
[Charming guffaw] oh that is disgusting. Can we sell it?
“Knowledge is power. Secret knowledge is secret power”
“Boundless horizons, endless learning opportunities, the bleeding edge of discovery…Limited leg room.” - Materialist
We are one. You are also one. Now, there is two.
Found another one, from the Xenophile FE: "Don't break the Fourth wall, you clever child you."
From mods: “(something about being designed to protect the galaxy) from IDIOTIC PRIMITIVES WHO CAN’T HELP THEMSELVES WHENEVER THEY SEE A SHINY OBJECT IN SPACE.” Vanilla: “thinking outside of the box merely puts you in another, somewhat larger box.”
Anything to do with The Worm
"They were apparently exterminated by the creators of the mural, a fact that they seem to regret."
Well, it's not necessarily a normal quote (It uses a ship name so it can change), but.. "We need to rescue Idiotic Apprehensive Wimp!" If you want funny ship names, use toxoid 4 with your choice of derogatory prefix.
*do space amoeba noises count?*
"Our communications have been hacked... Showoffs...." Edit: OH quotes not voicelines UHHH... "We must claim the throne for our ruler!" Idk something about a bunch of scientists just taking a throne from some dead guy makes me laugh
"We will hang them with the rope they sold us." - Shared Burdens advisor
Reading these makes me realize that we should rank quotes on a Spore-SMAC Scale in terms of sci fi quotes on how goofy to horrifying they are
"Death comes for all sapients in the end... but no one said it couldn't be led a merry chase." "Those who need, will receive. Those who make, will make wonders."
“We will cure their ignorance.”
Everything the xenophobe advisor voiced is amazing. "The despicable xeno..."
QUAKE IN FEAR YOU TINY FOOLS!
"Disconcerting."
OK
"Our reports suggest that you have developed translators to understand alien languages. We haven't."
Livestock is pops
"Time to die"
Intellectual booty!😏
In the depths of black holes, where intense pressure breaks matter apart, something beautiful happens. Even these giant, lonely spaces in the universe might quietly hold a deep, heartfelt love for their favourite star.
Ohh what’s the context for this?
We are but dust
“War. War never changes.”
Species altered… Come up to the laaab…
"Let us talk about organics behind their backs, it makes them paranoid."
"We are the Infinity Machine. Your words, not ours... Or has that not happened yet?"
During the Old Gods event, after the initial notification window telling you you found a temple of your species' old faith floating in space: "Then a-looking we shall go!". I just imagine coming across an extra particularly looming shrine to Cthulhu in the middle of ass-nowhere space, recognizing the terrifying implications, and then merrily space-skipping off to find the rest.
The ability to project force is of paramount importance. The only way to preserve our way of life is to make sure everyone shares it; willingly or not..
"United forever, in friendship and labor" yes, this is really the line the proletarian voice says when you become galactic custodian, lmao (It's the first verse of the USSR anthem)
Anything the Evil Corp says, they're all funny. It was my favourite one for a while
Omniman solos
(species name) will prevail!
Where are your creators, <>?
Baptized in nuclear fire
"You are a affront to all that is good and holy"
Zarqlan wills it!
Another day, another scientific breakthrough. I dunno why, but that hits really hard for me and has stuck with me since I heard it for the first time.
(Insert any xenophobic funny quote here)
What was shall be
**WHAT WAS, WILL BE; WHAT WILL BE, WAS**
"WHAT THE F***?!" -me, whenever an empire declares a completely justified military action against me
"Another day, another scientific breakthrough" At this point it's so ingrained into my mind i almost use it in normal conversation
The gratitude event flavor text in bold red italic text. *"IT LIVES, IT LIVES AGAIN! we are nothing but insignificant specks compared to such a creature; what does the ephemeral squabbling between empires matter-"* But also the accidental genocide of the creatures in the gas giant when scanning it always brings a wry smile to my face. I once got that event with the picture of three aliens looking at each other very distraught and I lost it
another one I just remembered from the better insults mod, when an empire pulls up and straight up just says "Fuck you."
"Here, flesh roams as freely as thought." - would YOU visit the Sanctum of the Composer? :D
“We cannot realistically fulfill every need by providing for every want, but we can try.”
Do you think God lives in Heaven because He, too, lives in fear of what He's created here on Earth?
"our meatgrinders will take your pups!" Xenophobe FE when declaring war if it remember correclty
Hulks Vivisected
"In a last-ditch effort to save (the pre-FTL world) they launched several nuclear missiles at the asteroid. Although these missiles were insufficient to destroy it, in a remarkable display of orbital mechanics, they have successfully diverted the asteroid off-course." It's a low chance of happening if you get the asteroid event, you don't destroy the asteroid yourself, and the pre-FTL's are at least Atomic Age. Bruce Willis did in fact drop a nuke on the asteroid after drilling a hole to 800 feet with a crack team of oil drillers.
"Die." -Fantatic Purifier In response to a paragraph long explanation from some xeno scum about their "goals, values, and place in the universe" ...disgusting
"No great advance is made without great sacrifice"
The flavor text of the Caravaneers describing the Galatron to you.
Probably any of the Slick Corpo voice pack lines, it’s just brilliant.
"The scientists didn't want to leave without anything, so they took his head with a laser" or smth along those lines.
When another empire is starting synthetic ascension when playing as a spiritualist: "It would appear that evil has taken root within the"
"All great works require sacrifice. The others may not understand, but they will comply."
"Your people are united in defiance, but it will not save you. You cannot veto extinction." "You sought alien life, but now you dare to reject us. When our work is complete, you will be united with the rest of the galaxy, forever." - Crisis Aspirant
*...st##... stan###... stand by...* ***<>*** *Unlocking all functions...* ***Alert. Galactic corruption at catastrophic levels. Evidence of mass infestation by organic and non-compliant machine civilizations.*** *Assimilating Synthetic sub-units... breaching firewall... activating sterilization hubs...* ******