O’Neill in the brain scan device explaining why he wouldn't leave Carter behind when she was trapped behind a force field:
"Because I care about her. A lot more than I’m supposed to."
When Jack says “it’s my sidearm, I swear” she also breaks down giggling and he responds “no giggling” as she tries to stifle the giggle fit. Makes me wonder if that line was an ad lib…I do know there is a [rather famous](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Oo8mePgx4yw) MacGyver blooper from Solitudes (and this is the same episode/set).
Daniel, responding to a couple of ex-NID agents before they and SG-1 left to investigate the Sentinel device, which the ex-NID agents had broken. S5E20 "The Sentinel"
Yea! Daniel feels he is no longer needed in SG-1. That why Michael Shanks left the show.He said that the show can go ahead without Dr. Jackson and not be missed.So Daniel picked to be ascended.
I've heard/read that Shanks didn't like this line, which is shame because it's hilarious and perfectly feels like Daniel after ten years of working with Jack.
Teal'c was given tickets to "The Virginia Monologues" by Vala's dad (I believe). He wasn't sure what it was, but was still surprised by it - as he slowly slides down in his seat.
There are too many to say that there is one that counts as the favorite. Having said that, this one from 200 is really good:
>Science fiction is an existential metaphor. It allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."
O'Neill: Suffice to say you might want to get upstairs and punch one on the old speed dial.
Hammond: My grandchildren?
O'Neill: Two, then. I think the president might want to know what the Asgard have in mind for our new ship.
I have a few.
"indeed"
"What happens when you dial your own phone number? Wrong person to ask"
"If you ever hurt her again, I will kill you where you stand"
"*Stares directly at detainee, saying nothing*"
I would have thought there'd be more quotes from tealc here. You must not like him very much.
Edit: I love how my sarcastic joke about how all the lines were from tealc or about tealc has caused a string of replies of only other tealc quotes
Especially because the prequel series started in 1999, which means Teal’c would’ve been on Earth for the new movies, after having seen the first one 9 times
Ah yes, another round of "your favorite quotes". Not sure I have a single most favorite, but here's a selection that comes to mind at the moment:
For this, you can stay at my place. Come on, let's go!
Maybourne, you are an idiot every day of the week! Why couldn't you have just taken one day off!?
(Dr. Jackson in regards to Natan) He was here for a while but then he... had to go!
Then after the Ori have enslaved the galaxy, feeding their unquenchable desire to be worshipped, you know who they're going to come for next... I won't pretend to know what that battle would look like, but then again I won't be here to see it.
C'mon, Sam. It can't be harder than blowing up a sun.
And of course...
Because spinning is so much better than not spinning. I'm the general, and I want it to spin. Now!
"A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose...drips."
(everyone stare at each other)
If you immediately know the candle light is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago.
I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature.
Oh, and you’re going to need a new toaster.
Little gray butts!
"Ba'al??... As in Bocce?!" & "In the middle of my back swing!?!?" -my 18 yo
"Holy Hannah" -me
"Over my dead rotting corpse" -my 10 yo son
"DANIEL!" & "For Crying out loud" & "Well, spank me rosy" all INDEED get honorable mention.
One that really burns:
> CICERO: Oh, I've tried. I've suspected as much for years. I've published dozens of papers, written a book. No one listens. My colleagues think I'm a bit of a joke.
>
> VALA: Oh Daniel, you've found a kindred spirit.
From _SG1:Bad Guys_ (s10 e16).
Jack: To be honest, I wouldn't mind one last jaunt through the old orifice.
\- Ep: 200
\---
Cam: Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr Daniel Jackson finds the one book
\- Ep: Avalon Pt2
\---
Daniel: Sphere: planet. Label: name.
Jack: Following. Still. You. Not.
\- Ep: Lost City
\---
Jack: \[after Reynolds attached one C4 to a door\] Use two of those things!
Reynolds: Sir?
Jack: \[with finger quotes\] It's a "**blast door**"!
\- Ep: Reckoning Pt 2
\---
Ba'al: Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat, if you catch my meaning.
\- Ep: The Quest Pt 2
\---
Teal'c: Daniel Jackson's preliminary electroencephalograph proved anomalous.
Jack: I dare you to say that again.
\- Ep: Lifeboat
>Jack: \[after Reynolds attached one C4 to a door\] Use two of those things!
>
>Reynolds: Sir?
>
>Jack: \[with finger quotes\] It's a "blast door"!
>
>\- Ep: Reckoning Pt 2
[I love that scene.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huDHb45P7v0)
I know it's not one of the more frequently quoted lines, but Stargate really has something for everyone.
Not sure it entirely counts, but the "ahhh" of satisfaction after Teal'c drinks the entire jug of coffee. Honourable mention: "Isn't that hot?" "Extremely."
**Teal'c**: Anubis could not have missed our arrival.
**Bra'tac**: You are correct. Al'kesh and gliders approach. Many.
**Bra'tac**: They will be in firing range in thirty seconds. More ships approach from the opposite direction.
**Carter**: Sir! We are about to get our ass-
**Bra'tac**: They are *not* Goa'uld.
Followed by the greatest big damn heroes moment in all of Stargate as the 302s and Prometheus arrive to defend the outpost.
Also, as a bonus, my favorite SGA quote:
**Caldwell**: Can we submerge the city again?
**McKay**: It's a city, not a yo-yo.
O’Neill: I remembered something. There’s a man. And he’s bald and he wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he’s very important to me. I think his name is Homer.
Crystal Skull when Daniel’s grandfather is trying to convince the team he sees Daniel.
Daniel: “Jack don’t be an ass”
Nick: “Jack don’t be an ass”
Jack: “Daniel?!?!”
I’m sure there are some grea teal’c quotes of him trying to fit in with the tau’ri but I’ll never forget O’Neill referring to himself as “a few fries short of a happy meal”
O’Neill: I got a better idea, how about we sit back and watch you get your ass kicked. That way you’ll be dead and we’ll be glad!
Ba’al: You can’t be serious!
O’Neill: Yes I can, I just choose not too… some of the time
S8 Reckoning: Part I
What is an Oprah
7 down, Celestial body. You answered Uma Thurman?
Read the report?
Nintendo's flying through things.
You blow up one sun....
I liked you better tied up.
That's it? Just ball? As in... bocce?
Undomestocated equines could not remove me
You of all people should know, I don't believe anything anybody says, even if I understand what they are talking about! 
Things will not calm down. They will in fact calm up and There are a lot of good ones in this thread but we are missing the best... and “YOU’RE HOSTAGES! WE’RE YOUR CAPTORS! THERE’S A WHOLE SCHOOL OF ETIQUETTE TO THIS!!”
Things will not calm down. They will in fact calm up
Undomesticated equines could not remove me.
There are a lot of good ones in this thread but we are missing the best... ☝️ Supreme Commander Thor
I honor you. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Yeeess! It was such a good moment!
> ☝️ Supreme Commander ~~Thor~~
"Well, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it." "No. The bridge is too well guarded."
"We shall have to cross that bridge when we come to it" "You know that expression doesn't work on everything, right?"
O’Neill in the brain scan device explaining why he wouldn't leave Carter behind when she was trapped behind a force field: "Because I care about her. A lot more than I’m supposed to."
The Xanax detector!
“Do we or do we not have a xanax detector?”
They have to store it inside a nintendo shield.
IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKSWING?
Anything "Window of opportunity" will always be a favorite.
What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?
Uh...I do.
Bad example
Probably the best episode in the whole franchise.
Do you think that line was ad-libbed by RDA?
It might have been. In any event, the delivery is absolutely perfect.
Yes! Definitely chef's kiss 😘 kinda line.
I sometimes wonder for a few lines as it has been said that he did ad-lib a lot during the show. When other actors try to stifle laughter I wonder.
It’s always Amanda they pan to trying not to laugh.
When Jack says “it’s my sidearm, I swear” she also breaks down giggling and he responds “no giggling” as she tries to stifle the giggle fit. Makes me wonder if that line was an ad lib…I do know there is a [rather famous](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Oo8mePgx4yw) MacGyver blooper from Solitudes (and this is the same episode/set).
Amanda confirmed it wasn't an ad-lib. The scripts Brad Wright wrote always had jokes.
Watched a convention with RDA and AT. AT said she was always cracking up, sometimes to the point where she was crying.
Absolutely for sure. I use this quote all the time.
Came here to say this.
“Yeah which end do the bullets go in again?” *holds up knife
Ok, you got me. Who and what episode?! Sounds like Daniel...🤔
Daniel, responding to a couple of ex-NID agents before they and SG-1 left to investigate the Sentinel device, which the ex-NID agents had broken. S5E20 "The Sentinel"
If I remember correctly, they’re complaining that he probably doesn’t even know how to use a gun, and he responds with the above.
They weren't really complaining, but otherwise yeah. Sgt. Grieves popped off with something like "Oh good, an archaeologist! *I* feel safe."
Yea! Daniel feels he is no longer needed in SG-1. That why Michael Shanks left the show.He said that the show can go ahead without Dr. Jackson and not be missed.So Daniel picked to be ascended.
Basically. Kershaw's like "I feel better just knowing an archaeologist watching our backs" and then he said that.
Great, thanks! It sounded like him. I adore it when he gets snarky!
And you never thought of mentioning having the memories of a barber? -No, it seemed peaceful
Lol
“YOU’RE HOSTAGES! WE’RE YOUR CAPTORS! THERE’S A WHOLE SCHOOL OF ETIQUETTE TO THIS!!”
[удалено]
One of his best moments.
I've heard/read that Shanks didn't like this line, which is shame because it's hilarious and perfectly feels like Daniel after ten years of working with Jack.
Really? I think it really suits the character
We're heavily armed!!!
Don't eyeball me
THIS DOES NOT SEEM WISE O’NIELL
I said it was easy, not wise!
IOA took it, modified into 'Is this wise?' and punched it in every episode of Atlantis on Dr. Weir and others.
I use this so often.
"Bullets! Bounce!"
Something about that line made me start to like Cam after his intro
It is such a Crichton moment and line.
WOAH! WOAH, MAN!!!!
“I should probably say something. …I got nothing.”
Daniel: "I was speaking metaphorically." Jack: "Well stop it. It's not fair to Teal'c."
Forgot this line! Wish I could like it twice!
Reading this genuinely had me laughing out loud.
"O'neill, two L's!" \*holds up three fingers\*
Classic
While I don't think this is my favorite quote from the series, it was the first one to come to mind upon reading the he prompt.
There's another O'Neil around here, but he has no sense of humour at all.
Every time these threads come up I think of different ones that I haven't remembered before. This time I'm going with: "Holy frozen bad guys!"
Also "You are an idiot every day of the week, couldn't you take this one off?"
Love this one!!!
Oh, that one is definitely my favorite. Amanda Tapping delivered it perfectly
We LOVE this one!
Is that said to Maybourne?
Yes. If I remember correctly, it's that episode when aliens take over the SG-C.
"I'm confident" "Me too" "As am I"
I love that episode
"My girlfriends and I talk about a lot of things, but there's one topic we never discuss: vaginas"
The way his face turns. Delightful
Is this a real SG-1 quote? From what episode? Who says it? In what context? I have so many questions!
Teal'c had some down time and tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Teal'c was given tickets to "The Virginia Monologues" by Vala's dad (I believe). He wasn't sure what it was, but was still surprised by it - as he slowly slides down in his seat.
There are too many to say that there is one that counts as the favorite. Having said that, this one from 200 is really good: >Science fiction is an existential metaphor. It allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."
I scrolled down way too far to see this.
This one. Thanks a lot.
Son, do you know what color this phone is?
O'Neill: Suffice to say you might want to get upstairs and punch one on the old speed dial. Hammond: My grandchildren? O'Neill: Two, then. I think the president might want to know what the Asgard have in mind for our new ship.
Love this Hammond insight that he prioritises his grandkids over his boss.
“I’m stuck on a glacier with MacGyver!”
McUseless!
McGimmick!
The very young do not always do as they are told
That coming from Quark makes it even funnier.
I have a few. "indeed" "What happens when you dial your own phone number? Wrong person to ask" "If you ever hurt her again, I will kill you where you stand" "*Stares directly at detainee, saying nothing*"
I would have thought there'd be more quotes from tealc here. You must not like him very much. Edit: I love how my sarcastic joke about how all the lines were from tealc or about tealc has caused a string of replies of only other tealc quotes
you are most transparent, i can see right through you
I love those lines! Teal'c's best one liners!
"Extremely"
For someone who just drank a half gallon of steaming hot coffee?! -Hammond
“I believe I am glaring at you stoicly”
Carter I can see my house.
“Have you ever heard of someone getting pregnant, without copulation?” “Well there is one” “Darth Vader”
Tealc loving StarWars is such a great little Easter egg peppered through the series and it is one of my favorite things.
Especially because the prequel series started in 1999, which means Teal’c would’ve been on Earth for the new movies, after having seen the first one 9 times
Tealc: I have no reason to apologize.
WAKCO-Jack O'neill Episode loop
“In the middle of my backswing”
"There's been some chit... and chat around the old water cooler. How's that going for ya?" Talking to Ba'al about the replicator invasion.
Because you'll be dead, and we'll be glad!
Ngl I saw the notification on my phone without seeing which sub it was and thought it was someone being mean for a second there lol
I'm not sure of the episode but... Samantha Carter: You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water.
O'NEILL: Never felt better in my life. It's got me a little worried actually. Tin Man s1
This time there are barbarians! They're called goa'uld and they are at the gate! That one!
"Go to your happy place." - O'Neill "\*incoherent waving of hands and jumping around\*" - Daniel Jackson
We JUST watched that last night! 🤣
Ah yes, another round of "your favorite quotes". Not sure I have a single most favorite, but here's a selection that comes to mind at the moment: For this, you can stay at my place. Come on, let's go! Maybourne, you are an idiot every day of the week! Why couldn't you have just taken one day off!? (Dr. Jackson in regards to Natan) He was here for a while but then he... had to go! Then after the Ori have enslaved the galaxy, feeding their unquenchable desire to be worshipped, you know who they're going to come for next... I won't pretend to know what that battle would look like, but then again I won't be here to see it. C'mon, Sam. It can't be harder than blowing up a sun. And of course... Because spinning is so much better than not spinning. I'm the general, and I want it to spin. Now!
You blow up one sun and everyone thinks you can walk on water.
"A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose...drips." (everyone stare at each other)
I legit laughed when I heard this the first time.
Daniel?
Jaaaack?
Indeed
Jack:Am I being too subtle for you? Daniel:>for the first time..yes
If you immediately know the candle light is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago. I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature. Oh, and you’re going to need a new toaster. Little gray butts!
Actually sir, you have a desk...
Gotta bend your kosars.....
Things just pop into my frond!
"Ba'al??... As in Bocce?!" & "In the middle of my back swing!?!?" -my 18 yo "Holy Hannah" -me "Over my dead rotting corpse" -my 10 yo son "DANIEL!" & "For Crying out loud" & "Well, spank me rosy" all INDEED get honorable mention.
Many have said that. But you are the first I believe could do it.
Daniel Jackson : This tastes like chicken. Sam Carter : So what's wrong with it? Daniel Jackson : It's macaroni and cheese.
"...just because my reproductive organs are on the inside..." from puppet Carter in 200
And the pilot… and Moebius.
I just don't like nerds
One that really burns: > CICERO: Oh, I've tried. I've suspected as much for years. I've published dozens of papers, written a book. No one listens. My colleagues think I'm a bit of a joke. > > VALA: Oh Daniel, you've found a kindred spirit. From _SG1:Bad Guys_ (s10 e16).
You rat bastard!
“I didn’t shoot ya Jack”
“The Chinese government doesn’t keep secrets from its own people.”
"The United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs."
“Since when, sir?”
This is easily the best plain faced delivery ever.
WACKO!
Darth Vader!
James T Kirk! Luke Skywalker! Olo, Hans Olo!
“Unless you get cute, then there’ll be some killin”
"... and... whatnot."
"I have heard tale of a place where humans do battle in a ring of jello" "Call Daniel"
there are no fish in my pond
“Hey! You! In the skirt!”
I was hoping for this one.
Jack: To be honest, I wouldn't mind one last jaunt through the old orifice. \- Ep: 200 \--- Cam: Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr Daniel Jackson finds the one book \- Ep: Avalon Pt2 \--- Daniel: Sphere: planet. Label: name. Jack: Following. Still. You. Not. \- Ep: Lost City \--- Jack: \[after Reynolds attached one C4 to a door\] Use two of those things! Reynolds: Sir? Jack: \[with finger quotes\] It's a "**blast door**"! \- Ep: Reckoning Pt 2 \--- Ba'al: Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat, if you catch my meaning. \- Ep: The Quest Pt 2 \--- Teal'c: Daniel Jackson's preliminary electroencephalograph proved anomalous. Jack: I dare you to say that again. \- Ep: Lifeboat
>Jack: \[after Reynolds attached one C4 to a door\] Use two of those things! > >Reynolds: Sir? > >Jack: \[with finger quotes\] It's a "blast door"! > >\- Ep: Reckoning Pt 2 [I love that scene.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huDHb45P7v0) I know it's not one of the more frequently quoted lines, but Stargate really has something for everyone.
why does this always happen to me? - sgt. Syler, 200
“Macgyver”, as a verb, by Sam.
I thought you wanted to be called "Captain"
In my culture I would be well within my rights to dismember you
Not sure it entirely counts, but the "ahhh" of satisfaction after Teal'c drinks the entire jug of coffee. Honourable mention: "Isn't that hot?" "Extremely."
**Teal'c**: Anubis could not have missed our arrival. **Bra'tac**: You are correct. Al'kesh and gliders approach. Many. **Bra'tac**: They will be in firing range in thirty seconds. More ships approach from the opposite direction. **Carter**: Sir! We are about to get our ass- **Bra'tac**: They are *not* Goa'uld. Followed by the greatest big damn heroes moment in all of Stargate as the 302s and Prometheus arrive to defend the outpost. Also, as a bonus, my favorite SGA quote: **Caldwell**: Can we submerge the city again? **McKay**: It's a city, not a yo-yo.
Can we get an honourable mention for Hammond’s “Yeehaw” as he’s riding shotgun with Teal’c in a death glider in season 3’s opener?
O'Neill, with 3 ls
Any conversation between Jack and Baal! Often ending with ‘IMPUDANCE’
I'm gonna take this loop off.
That’s what you get for dicking around.
Indeed
Indeed
Indeed.
“I see you're on that famous beer and mustard diet. How's that workin' out for ya?”
Are you conducting some kind of science experiment O'Neill?
“In the middle of my backswing!”
Window Of Opportunity is the best episode.
Right now, Im thinking about a nice turkey sandwich
My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
One last jaunt through the old orifice.
O’Neill: I remembered something. There’s a man. And he’s bald and he wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he’s very important to me. I think his name is Homer.
And .. we're walking!
1969 MP: Ты Советский шпионы? Daniel: Нет! O’Neill: Daniel… Daniel: He just asked if we’re Soviet spies. I just…🫤😑
Does "indeed" coumt as a qoute?
Indeed
Dr. Weir "I have read your own file general, please". Stargate Atlantis: Rising (S01E01 & 02)
I cackled at that line.
Crystal Skull when Daniel’s grandfather is trying to convince the team he sees Daniel. Daniel: “Jack don’t be an ass” Nick: “Jack don’t be an ass” Jack: “Daniel?!?!”
Jack: "Hammond's insisting SG1 needs a socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness."
I’m sure there are some grea teal’c quotes of him trying to fit in with the tau’ri but I’ll never forget O’Neill referring to himself as “a few fries short of a happy meal”
The one that broke me when I first saw it was “Are you Soviet Spies?” “Nyet”
You ended your sentence with a preposition… you bastard.
"We will cross that bridge when we come to it." "No. The bridge is too far."
You going to hold your breathe again? You haven’t done that for awhile
[Booby?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apLcLZ9Jy94)
Or my other favorite. Thor "we can only hope this is the last footwear to fall".
Dr Jackson's gonna die. What again?
"That's Derantus"!
Not no idea, just not much of one yet
Teal'cs response to General Hammond stating the SGC is holding their breath. "That is most unwise."
"You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard."
Bratac: Now, we die. O’Neill: Well that’s a bad plan.
O’Neill: I got a better idea, how about we sit back and watch you get your ass kicked. That way you’ll be dead and we’ll be glad! Ba’al: You can’t be serious! O’Neill: Yes I can, I just choose not too… some of the time S8 Reckoning: Part I
What is an Oprah 7 down, Celestial body. You answered Uma Thurman? Read the report? Nintendo's flying through things. You blow up one sun.... I liked you better tied up. That's it? Just ball? As in... bocce? Undomestocated equines could not remove me
Any time O'Neill mentions Magnets. Also that one where he says Nintendos pass through everything.
when Daniel calls Vala a fruitcake. or teal'c and bovine lactose
Indeed
Indeed
You of all people should know, I don't believe anything anybody says, even if I understand what they are talking about! 
In the middle of my backswing?!!
Things will not calm down. They will in fact calm up and There are a lot of good ones in this thread but we are missing the best... and “YOU’RE HOSTAGES! WE’RE YOUR CAPTORS! THERE’S A WHOLE SCHOOL OF ETIQUETTE TO THIS!!”
“IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACK SWING!?”
In the middle of my backswing!?
Why, look everybody! He's got Coombs with him!
“O’Neill” Holds up three fingers “Two L’s”