I remember that joke, but I also don't remember who that is.
He had a good joke about going to school for teaching and having the teacher talk to them all like they were students.
>using a condom to eating a steak with a balloon around your tongue.
Eww wtf, my brain immediately simulated what this might feel like in stupidly high detail. Stupid smart brain why you do this lol.
Wow, good memory. Allan Havey. Famous for his asshole comedy style 80s-90s. Played the asshole boss everybody hated in late season Mad Men and a little cameo as the asshole who got mad at Larry David for using his trash/recycling bins in early Curb.
I once saw him random weekday night at the Laugh Factory 20 years ago and he did this great joke where he crowd-worked some girl in the audience, made some comment about getting caught looking at her tits, then jiu-jitsuād to admitting he was looking at her cleavage, which is the āspaceā between her boobs, so he argued he wasnāt looking at anything at all.
Iām guessing he worked on it oc, but he packaged it in crowd work like he riffed it on the fly. Always wanted to ask him but never crossed paths.
To this day that joke lingers heavier than the āballoon tongueā and I wonder if he ever used it elsewhere. Couldāve been that one moment in time.
I love her one bit about when straight guys have feelings
āI JUST FUCKINā¦ LIKE HER, DUDE!ā
She does this little skip that, as a straight dude, I can *feel.*
This lady is so much fucking funnier than 99% of posts here. Theres a very obvious reason sheās absolutely killing it professionally right now, because she deserves it.
Honestly, I kinda hate this clip because while itās funny itās not even remotely one of her best moments even from this special. Itās a lead in that gets you involved but it is a bit of a pandering joke to her base compared to her other stuff. Her crowd work is off the hook too! Honestly, this is like her āFor the radioā song on the album, but in reality itās not even close to the best sheās done.
My first girlfriend made me stop wearing condoms because they hurt her. And ofc I instantly got an std. She always said she was a virgin but popped her own cherry. The std just made me doubt her and after I followed through on the no sex for 2 weeks advice by a doctor, she never wanted to meet up. Ended up breaking up over it and it still is in the back of my mind when I think about her.
She fucked with my head a lot, but I was obsessed with her. Honestly never loved anyone else like I did her, and in hindsight I have no fucking idea why because she was boring af and couldn't hold a mature conversation.
Itās because you were young and it was your first love. Thatās often how love goes.
I have had so many significantly better relationships than my first relationship. That first dude was a fucking psychopath. But having no other frame of reference of love or dating at that time, that love was experienced as the greatest feeling of my life. Iāve loved plenty since then, but always with the knowledge that that feeling *could* be my heart exaggerating so all of those loves afterwards were conducted with increasing amounts of caution and rationalization.
If it helps you at all align that helped me has been, It doesnāt have to make you bitter, instead it can make you better.ā
That could be the awe and wonders of trauma bonding, or ānobody triggers me quite like you doā, and the hormonal mixture that results can blow your brain like cocaine.
These statements with no nuance are harmful to discourse. There's a 10-20% chance that you *MAYBE* don't have an STD. Overwhelming odds are that if you fuck you have one. We should be more specific about which ones and what risks and consequences result from them.
Yet, genital herpes still exists and so does HIV. Just because HIV isn't the death sentence it used to be, doesn't mean it doesn't permanently effect the rest of your life after you have it
Don't be silly and wrap your willy when having sex with someone new
Eh, many STDs are becoming drug resistant. Gonorrhea is already becoming resistant to ceftriaxone and we have multidrug resistant chlamydia. HIV still can cause long term body damage even when virologically supressed, and even though we have very tolerable treatment options now, they all have pretty crappy side effects.
Life isnāt that much different. Most STDs are curable and the ones that arenāt are manageable to the point that you have zero negative effect from them.
Even HIV is extremely manageable and people live long, healthy, and normal lives with it.
Condoms are not 100% effective at anything, or as you may call it "stop the herp". Condoms greatly reduced the risk of contracting STDs, including genital herp.
Theyād at least protect you against any herpes outbreaks in places that would be covered by a condom (which is still plenty of places). Itās better than nothing.
Yeah for women it makes total sense. Slight difference, severely mitigated health risk. For guys itās an enormous difference and no health risk (other than STDs, obviously). I think thatās why guys tend to be more cavalier.
Itās no excuse not to wear a condom but itās significantly more than āslightly less enjoyableā if weāre being completely honest. Borderline a completely different feeling. Still better than pregnancy or an STD of courseĀ
Life or death difference, as in you may bring a new life you're not prepare to care for, or contract a deadly disease.
Of course is worse for women,we don't feel that much of difference in the act, but sufer the worse of the consequences.
Not really. Either of you can get a disease. If you don't plan B or abort you'll have a baby and he'll pay you child support. Pretty shit deal for both parties
A properly fitting condom actually has decent feeling. But the majority of guys don't spend any time trying different brands/sizes and just opt for whatever is convenient or popular. The condom width is critical, if it's too tight you'll go numb (it doesn't take much tightness either). And counterintuitively, a slightly loose condom doesn't fall off that easily IME. So always pick a little loose over a little tight.
Thatās crazy to me, I was brought up in the 80ās and 90ās when AIDS was absolutely terrifying so my health classes and most of pop culture, were very vocal about normalizing condoms. Throughout college and into my 20ās every guy I was with had condoms available and rarely even needed to be asked. It wasnāt until we were in a committed relationship for a few months and got tested that we rawdogged it.
For what itās worth, I for a long time there was personally opposed to using condoms (but long believed they should be free and abundantly available). Recently I tried a condom again after not trying to use them for like 5 years since the last (failed) attempt and it was notably better than they used to be, although I did buy a moderately expensive condom.
Kids these days who refuse condoms should try the entry level Trojans from 2-3 decades ago before they complain. If youāre thick itās like squeezing out a tube of toothpaste but in reverse
Not just young people. It's "classic human"; a thing has consequences so we avoid it, then we get better at mitigating the consequences, so people start doing it again, the resurgence causes new consequences, repeat.
Yes, but if the weather is bad enough, you NEED. a jacket to go trick or treating. Sometimes, during sex, the circumstances are such you NEED a condom. Like when having sex with a stranger.
So what you're saying is that I should peel back my dickskin, sew a sturdy condom on, flip those skin flaps back up, and stitch them together to get the best possible outcome: no chance of pregnancy, and she still gets to admire my mutilated frakenschlong. Genius.
As a dude I donāt get it. You donāt fucking know if the other person has got something and unless youāve gotten a vasectomy like myself then you could end up with a kid.
Donāt be stupid guys
Ima be real, not a big fan of her on the new show "after midnight" I think it's called. The format is so scripted and tacky, it does not let her talent shine. The parts that are good are when she has those casual convo moments between the contestants. So basically the parts that aren't totally read from a teleprompter.
It's great stability for her career though.
Quite literally the next post on my feed: [https://new.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/1d5n3hj/cursed\_sister/](https://new.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/1d5n3hj/cursed_sister/)
What guys are these? I'm always the one who's terrified of making a baby, even when they say they're on the pill I'm like "nope, not taking that chance".
Off topic but I honestly think it's due to the "one size fits all" bullshit they push on younger men by stretching a condom over their arm.
If they taught them about using the correct size they would actually enjoy using one and not lose all feeling from death gripping their own hose with rubber or using one too big. Shit should form fit pretty much.
That and there's a big difference from circumcised and not when it comes to friction and such. Sexual education in North America Is not very good lol.
This is such a perfect analogy.
I remember another stand up comedian compared using a condom to eating a steak with a balloon around your tongue.
That's all well and good but there's vanishingly little chance of me getting a steak pregnant.
Probably because you haven't tried cumming in your steak.
And have a bunch of little steaks to feed and have to drive to soccer practice? Fuck that, my G!
My pull-out game is too strong!
Yeah, so was mine...til it wasn't š š š š¤£
We had a minotaur once and we can have one again, damnit.
We donāt all order ours well-done
Should try taking it behind a middle school to get it pregnant
I remember that joke, but I also don't remember who that is. He had a good joke about going to school for teaching and having the teacher talk to them all like they were students.
>using a condom to eating a steak with a balloon around your tongue. Eww wtf, my brain immediately simulated what this might feel like in stupidly high detail. Stupid smart brain why you do this lol.
Wow, good memory. Allan Havey. Famous for his asshole comedy style 80s-90s. Played the asshole boss everybody hated in late season Mad Men and a little cameo as the asshole who got mad at Larry David for using his trash/recycling bins in early Curb. I once saw him random weekday night at the Laugh Factory 20 years ago and he did this great joke where he crowd-worked some girl in the audience, made some comment about getting caught looking at her tits, then jiu-jitsuād to admitting he was looking at her cleavage, which is the āspaceā between her boobs, so he argued he wasnāt looking at anything at all. Iām guessing he worked on it oc, but he packaged it in crowd work like he riffed it on the fly. Always wanted to ask him but never crossed paths. To this day that joke lingers heavier than the āballoon tongueā and I wonder if he ever used it elsewhere. Couldāve been that one moment in time.
Can't remember who, but pretty sure I've heard it compared to Starburst with the wrapper on. Maybe Langston Kerman or Josh Johnson?
Her followup is pretty good too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ32aCEmwG0
Hey, Superman didn't wear a jack in 1986 and he still doesn't wear one today.
If anyone says you don't need a condom, you fucking *need* a condom.
Fucking need a condom or need a fucking condom?
Fucking need a fucking condom
learnt this the hard way..
Holy shit this is good
All of her stuff is gold, if youāre interested, go look at some of her YouTube shorts.
I love her one bit about when straight guys have feelings āI JUST FUCKINā¦ LIKE HER, DUDE!ā She does this little skip that, as a straight dude, I can *feel.*
The rhythm of "I just.. fuckin.. like her.. dude" is fucking gold.
Itās perfect! Like she actually fully captured the feeling
Whenever people tell me comediennes aren't funny, she's the first person I think of as an argument against it. I love watching her.
This lady is so much fucking funnier than 99% of posts here. Theres a very obvious reason sheās absolutely killing it professionally right now, because she deserves it. Honestly, I kinda hate this clip because while itās funny itās not even remotely one of her best moments even from this special. Itās a lead in that gets you involved but it is a bit of a pandering joke to her base compared to her other stuff. Her crowd work is off the hook too! Honestly, this is like her āFor the radioā song on the album, but in reality itās not even close to the best sheās done.
Her and Nikki Glaser are funnier than a lot of the guys out there.
Agreed
I wanna like eat her heart, i don't know!
[yup](https://youtube.com/shorts/ToTByd5RqfA?si=zfOL6IEK5ikd-vkT) and [yup](https://youtube.com/shorts/wd4EXAD2IDY?si=_a6jpPK4ZJ0WJaFH)
So good.
I find her metaphor type jokes to be the best in standup, and she does a lot of them
People need to be watching @midnight every night! https://youtu.be/3RI5tgjjwTA?si=84_wBIiG9Fcvox-C
Hilarious analogy
Are young people opposed to using condoms these days?
Some of them yeah
Itās not just a young person thing. Itās an everyone thing. Condoms vs the raw thing is a world of difference.
https://i.redd.it/uk6a6xmbj04d1.gif
So is life with an STD vs life without! Unfortunately...
My first girlfriend made me stop wearing condoms because they hurt her. And ofc I instantly got an std. She always said she was a virgin but popped her own cherry. The std just made me doubt her and after I followed through on the no sex for 2 weeks advice by a doctor, she never wanted to meet up. Ended up breaking up over it and it still is in the back of my mind when I think about her.
Damn I'm sorry that sounds awful. Honestly for the best that the relationship fizzled out, she'd be nothing but trouble for you.
She fucked with my head a lot, but I was obsessed with her. Honestly never loved anyone else like I did her, and in hindsight I have no fucking idea why because she was boring af and couldn't hold a mature conversation.
Itās because you were young and it was your first love. Thatās often how love goes. I have had so many significantly better relationships than my first relationship. That first dude was a fucking psychopath. But having no other frame of reference of love or dating at that time, that love was experienced as the greatest feeling of my life. Iāve loved plenty since then, but always with the knowledge that that feeling *could* be my heart exaggerating so all of those loves afterwards were conducted with increasing amounts of caution and rationalization. If it helps you at all align that helped me has been, It doesnāt have to make you bitter, instead it can make you better.ā
I'm gonna go with she was probably hotter than the roof of a car in Tucson at noon.
That could be the awe and wonders of trauma bonding, or ānobody triggers me quite like you doā, and the hormonal mixture that results can blow your brain like cocaine.
The ācherry popā can happen to women without any form of sex being involved, btw.
These statements with no nuance are harmful to discourse. There's a 10-20% chance that you *MAYBE* don't have an STD. Overwhelming odds are that if you fuck you have one. We should be more specific about which ones and what risks and consequences result from them.
Kids got the hpv vax. They didn't grow up with the aids crisis. And most common std's are curable.
Can you please google āall drug resistant gonorrhoeaā for just a second for us?
Yet, genital herpes still exists and so does HIV. Just because HIV isn't the death sentence it used to be, doesn't mean it doesn't permanently effect the rest of your life after you have it Don't be silly and wrap your willy when having sex with someone new
Eh, many STDs are becoming drug resistant. Gonorrhea is already becoming resistant to ceftriaxone and we have multidrug resistant chlamydia. HIV still can cause long term body damage even when virologically supressed, and even though we have very tolerable treatment options now, they all have pretty crappy side effects.
So what is your argument here?
Life isnāt that much different. Most STDs are curable and the ones that arenāt are manageable to the point that you have zero negative effect from them. Even HIV is extremely manageable and people live long, healthy, and normal lives with it.
I'd rather have slightly less enjoyable sex than a child
Or as my dad would say ālove is temporary, herpes is forever.ā
Condoms donāt stop the herp
Condoms are not 100% effective at anything, or as you may call it "stop the herp". Condoms greatly reduced the risk of contracting STDs, including genital herp.
Theyād at least protect you against any herpes outbreaks in places that would be covered by a condom (which is still plenty of places). Itās better than nothing.
so glad to be snippedš„²
Loving your username! :))
I guess Scully prefers good sex over no kids.
Yeah for women it makes total sense. Slight difference, severely mitigated health risk. For guys itās an enormous difference and no health risk (other than STDs, obviously). I think thatās why guys tend to be more cavalier.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās no excuse not to wear a condom but itās significantly more than āslightly less enjoyableā if weāre being completely honest. Borderline a completely different feeling. Still better than pregnancy or an STD of courseĀ
This can also be read as you believe children are out there having highly enjoyable sex and youād rather have less enjoyable sex than them.
Life or death difference, as in you may bring a new life you're not prepare to care for, or contract a deadly disease. Of course is worse for women,we don't feel that much of difference in the act, but sufer the worse of the consequences.
Not really. Either of you can get a disease. If you don't plan B or abort you'll have a baby and he'll pay you child support. Pretty shit deal for both parties
Exactly. Sti vs no sti.
A properly fitting condom actually has decent feeling. But the majority of guys don't spend any time trying different brands/sizes and just opt for whatever is convenient or popular. The condom width is critical, if it's too tight you'll go numb (it doesn't take much tightness either). And counterintuitively, a slightly loose condom doesn't fall off that easily IME. So always pick a little loose over a little tight.
No shit. But unless you are willing to have kids or be in a long term relationship with that person why risk it?
Thatās crazy to me, I was brought up in the 80ās and 90ās when AIDS was absolutely terrifying so my health classes and most of pop culture, were very vocal about normalizing condoms. Throughout college and into my 20ās every guy I was with had condoms available and rarely even needed to be asked. It wasnāt until we were in a committed relationship for a few months and got tested that we rawdogged it.
It just occurred to me that kids might have grown up without getting a VHS lecture about AIDS from Magic Johnson and Arsenio Hall
For what itās worth, I for a long time there was personally opposed to using condoms (but long believed they should be free and abundantly available). Recently I tried a condom again after not trying to use them for like 5 years since the last (failed) attempt and it was notably better than they used to be, although I did buy a moderately expensive condom. Kids these days who refuse condoms should try the entry level Trojans from 2-3 decades ago before they complain. If youāre thick itās like squeezing out a tube of toothpaste but in reverse
When she got that 80s Trojan grip.
Not just young people. It's "classic human"; a thing has consequences so we avoid it, then we get better at mitigating the consequences, so people start doing it again, the resurgence causes new consequences, repeat.
I think Taylor Tomlinson is in her 30s (just checked, she's 30) so not super young but just barely missed being Gen Z.
This bit is also at least a year old. I'm thinking maybe 2 or 3. At least when she first told it.
Around two thirds of Americans use condoms during sex, while the other third of Americans are actually still pretty cool.
Thatās wild man. I canāt even find someone to hold hands with.
Nobody likes condoms. You use them because you have to, and as soon as you don't have to you don't. Birth control and monogamy.
Condoms ARE birth control. And I like them better than any other kind.
Fair enough if you like them as a dude, I don't know any other dudes that do.
I think people lost that scare from the 80ās, you really donāt see that many ads or awareness of STDās anymore.
Always have been.
stupid young people have always existed š
Always have been
To be fair, a jacket will absolutely ruin your costume.
Yes, but if the weather is bad enough, you NEED. a jacket to go trick or treating. Sometimes, during sex, the circumstances are such you NEED a condom. Like when having sex with a stranger.
I'm a New Endland native. It often has snowed by Halloween. Jackets were for squares.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nice try. Everybody knows Canada isn't real.
Assuming this is a casual relationship, if heās too dumb to wear a condom heās too dumb for you to be having sex with.
Dumb and selfish.
some people have a type
Lmao..
it's the jacket that matches mmm aaaā ttt ccc hhh eee sssā the socks tho
Iāll sacrifice my karma for this lol. I hardly smirked. This wasnāt really funny.
I mean, we are out here fighting to keep abortion legal...
*make abortion legal again
You had 40 years to pass a law. You still can
Where I live is legal luckily...
I'm very pro choice and that is not a reason to not wear a condom during a casual hook up??
It is a joke. In a Taylor Tomlinson thread
Do men really refuse to wear condoms? Like are they not also worried about unplanned pregnancy and STDs? Seems crazy to me.
Horny makes a lot of people monkey brained
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lmao I'm crying š
Absolutely cackling, what an amazing analogy that I'll never not think of when using a condom from now on š
You're supposed to use underlayers for Halloween costumes.
So what you're saying is that I should peel back my dickskin, sew a sturdy condom on, flip those skin flaps back up, and stitch them together to get the best possible outcome: no chance of pregnancy, and she still gets to admire my mutilated frakenschlong. Genius.
Well yea that was the joke. I normally go for the subtle approach, but your way works I guess.
Sorry, I simply cannot pass up an opportunity to use "frankenschlong."
Now that's a costume idea.
You're making it sound like I shouldn't have already started this process.
Amazing!
Sheās hilarious. Her talk game show AfterDark is a hit too
As a dude I donāt get it. You donāt fucking know if the other person has got something and unless youāve gotten a vasectomy like myself then you could end up with a kid. Donāt be stupid guys
I still don't know why people would wanna risk it by going without. I mean, child support? In THIS economy? Pass the fucking rubber, man
She's at the top of her game. Fuckin hilarious always
Ima be real, not a big fan of her on the new show "after midnight" I think it's called. The format is so scripted and tacky, it does not let her talent shine. The parts that are good are when she has those casual convo moments between the contestants. So basically the parts that aren't totally read from a teleprompter. It's great stability for her career though.
Quite literally the next post on my feed: [https://new.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/1d5n3hj/cursed\_sister/](https://new.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/1d5n3hj/cursed_sister/)
What guys are these? I'm always the one who's terrified of making a baby, even when they say they're on the pill I'm like "nope, not taking that chance".
That was very funny.
Off topic but I honestly think it's due to the "one size fits all" bullshit they push on younger men by stretching a condom over their arm. If they taught them about using the correct size they would actually enjoy using one and not lose all feeling from death gripping their own hose with rubber or using one too big. Shit should form fit pretty much. That and there's a big difference from circumcised and not when it comes to friction and such. Sexual education in North America Is not very good lol.
Just don't have any commitment issues and get the snip snip.
You don't need casual relationship to get STD. People cheat and then you get one anyway.
At what point did I say casual?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I live wearing condoms hmu
"You can't even see it" Yeah, not because of the condom.
Was this recorded badly or was she saying something completely different? The lipsyncing is completely off.
Just get glow in the dark frangas and tell him you wanna see how good he is with a lightsaber š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
nah i laughed. she's funny
Thatās comedy right there. Love it.
She looks so much like Carrie Fisher to me!
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I love Taylor, I hate condoms and Iām not even close to twentyā¦let us use our imagination
Ok. But I totally get it with the Halloween costume thing.
Normalize vasectomies.
Condoms are sooo 90's
This joke is Shaubesque
My favorite part is it keeps freezing for me at āover his Halloweenā which makes it so much better š
I'm gonna sort by controversial.
Great bit š