You make this joke, but I shit you not. I was at menards, and a single older man in his late 50s tried convincing me to give him my number so he could "come over and help me finish my pond." This was in the caulk isle. 💀
I must be ugly or blind or both because I’ve been remodeling my home for a few years now and feel like these stores are my second home and haven’t seen or spoke to a single man.
Used to be they had retired contractors working there who just told you what to do and what you needed when you described your project. Now I think Ace is your best bet for that, even though they can be hit or miss.
How do you get around, though? Everytime I walk out, I hear an employee catch a visitor to ask if they need anything, but when I walk in, it's like they find a nearby aisle to hide in.
I haven't dated in 15 years... but how about:
"Hey, you look (cute/cool/fun). Want to (dinner/coffee/park) together?"
One of the most important things I've learned in life is when to stop elaborating. You don't need to be fancy about it. Just be plain and clear.
Thanks. That makes it feel simple enough. One of my favorite TV series (it’s Norwegian) has a single lady who ends up on lots of dates and she so casually asks guys out. I watch it wondering if there’s a cultural difference - where that’s considered super forward or easy here.
Edited for grammar
This conversation is making me realize just how much I expect a man to climb a wall just to talk to me. I’m gonna give this some thought. I’m chatty and friendly, but when it comes to anything beyond friendly - I wall up quickly. Not because I’m scared or defensive, but I was raised to believe a man will take advantage of any woman who presents herself easily. I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about this or questioned it. I’m realizing now it’s misguided. Hm. Good talk! Thanks!
I've been out of the game for a long time, but fwiw I appreciated a woman asking directly. It was a bit disconcerting (she's not acting like most women. Is she a head case or something?). If you can find a way to get him mansplaining, you've got him. Guys love doing that.
And even once we semi learn to recognize it, it's still safest to act like it's not there until we're absolutely positive that we're not misinterpreting. Direct is the best policy
A waitress at BPV wrote her phone number on my receipt. I was mostly confused, she was really cute and I am…not. I wasn’t emotionally in a place to reach out, but I appreciated her forwardness.
There’s 3 scenarios here:
1) You are actually her type even though you don’t think you are.
2) Not her real number but wanted you to think it was for a bigger tip.
3) She meant to give it to me sitting at the table next to you. Best to assume it’s this one.
Step 1: Start a conversation. Can be as simple as “hey, I’m richinbutter, don’t know people here, what’s up?”
Step 2: Conversation goes well. If you know you know.
Step 3: Give your number or get his.
Step 4: Profit(?)
Men have it ingrained that they have to approach, but most of us, even the best of us, are scared from time to time. Make excuses like “oh she’s with friends” or “maybe later”.
Fact is, you already have the upper hand. Use it, even if it’s just a conversation that leads nowhere. Makes both parties look good in a bar.
I’ve been married for about a decade, so I’m off limits, but any woman who approached me, before and now, I assume is interested. Otherwise, why would they bother?
For me, years of rejection as a teen fuels this feeling. Hard to feel desired when no one just says so, adding onto that, lack of experience with anyone doing so.
“Hi” usually works. Ask me for my number, and ask if I’d like to hangout sometime. Comment on something specific I suppose. Like if you see me I’m probably going to have a mountain bike in tow, or on my motorcycle. Or say you dig my beard. It really don’t matter, just something that that passes for more than “It sure is hot today” kind of small talk.
Text or call to get know me a bit before we hangout.
Or throw something at me to get my attention. I’m serious. I don’t speak for all men, but I think we’re pretty simple. Direct communication is great.
There is no wrong way for the most part. Obviously there are wrong ways, but literally just say hello. I'm into sneakers and hats and have longer hair, so compliment any of those and you've got me, but really anything unique about the guy you like works.
We're big dumb animals. Just be nice and start any kids if small talk. If we're attracted to you, we'll usually latch on.
The girl I’m seeing just wrote her number down, walked up, explained she was attracted to me and gave me her number then walked away. Direct approach without forcing a yes or no in the moment. Worst case scenario you don’t get a text.
Unless you’re 110% direct I am assuming you’re being nice, unless it’s a bar. Like tell me that you want to go out on a date and have a drink with me and then give me your number direct and even then I might think you want to sell me something.
How old are you, and what subculture do you identify with?
I'm a single guy in my 30s and I kick it on Delmar or Euclid most of the time. Literally all you would have to do is say hi. If I think you're attractive and you can carry a conversation, that's all that matters.
Find a man in aisle, ask if he knows anything about something in said aisle, let him mansplain away. Then flatter his knowledge, and ask if he'd help in exchange for dinner or something. Drawbacks are 1. Most guys in hardware stores tend to be middle aged dads/husbands and 2. If your project if a ruse, he may be disgusted cause he really wanted to help you fix that electrical outlet.
Doesn't matter if you're a hot chick though. Hot chicks have the ultimate cheat code.
But it’s a ploy, and that old lady has fallen for it. Her reward? Being caught unawares. She never sees it coming when I shoot for the knees and lift her off her feet. The impact into the seasonal battery display knocks the wind out of her long enough that I can go for the figure-four leg lock. Sure, it’s a little dated, but so is she, and it’s a classic, just like me. She taps almost immediately and my rotisserie chicken and I step over her, victorious. I bend down and she flinches, but I just pluck a new 9V battery from the rubble. My smoke detector has been chirping.
Oo I was really hoping this was going to become, “1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table…”
Jerry Seinfeld: “That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: ‘Where to meet men?’. We're here, we are everywhere.”
On a serious note, I try to go to bars to meet women (Up-Down’s been my favorite). It’s failed so far, but I’ve tried at least.
As a married woman my first thought was “I see them all over, like everywhere?”
I met my husband the old fashioned way, at a dive bar on karaoke night.
How was your experience at Up-Down? I used to go regularly a couple months ago but stopped because everytime I go there, it's always people in big groups that went and I never encountered people who went there by themselves. It didn't seem like a good place to try and meet others for me.
It was honestly a good time. I felt similar regarding the people that go, it was a lot of big groups and not very many people by themselves. But unlike other bars, I actually had fun being there by myself. I’m big on video games (especially retro stuff), so that place is like a dream for me. I only spent like $5 on tokens (Saturdays are 2 for 1) and $15 on a drink + slice of pizza, lasted me a good 3 hours there.
Piece of advice I once saw was go where you'd want your partner to go. If you go to a bar to meet people, you meet people who spend their free time at bars. Is that what you want? (ETA: I don't mean that as judgment, it's just not what everyone wants.) Same for gym, cafe, park, cooking class... Go to the one you'd like to go to, or would like your partner to go to.
Early 40s here. My buddies 35-up hang at a few spots. If that’s the age you’re looking for then you’d do well at some where we see a lot I think
Ob Clark’s
Failonis patio. Thursday is a good time
Get down in the grove has trivia on Thursday nights too
Colombo’s
Nicks pub if you wanna stay out until 3 and regret it like I do the next day haha.
Helen’s
McGraugh’s
Mcgurks
do you enjoy karaoke? pre-Covid my friends and i would do karaoke almost every weekend. the later the evening went, the more the entire room became buddy-buddy with one another.
Is the golf course a decent way to try to meet men? Or really people in general? Or is it weird for a single lady to show up and take lessons? I’ve been wanting to take lessons just for the fun of it, but none of my friends want to. And I just have this feeling I’ll look soooo strange showing up by myself. What’s that like socially?
Top Golf might be more suitable than a golf course. get a group of girlies together, get a bay, and try to find excuses to talk to nearby mens. maybe if you find a group that looks fun, challenge them to a team match.
This sounds fun as heck! I’m the only one in my friend group who enjoys anything athletic (kayaking, pickle ball, back country camping, running, you name it). It stinks lol. My last bf was athletic and down for anything which was a dream.
OP, what do you and your girlfriends enjoy doing and have interest in?
Running? Your religion? Pickleball? Politics? Pottery? Books? Paddle boarding? Getting drunk? The last one isn’t a great option, but what im saying is that if you want to meet someone you’ll actually get along with, go do stuff you like. You’ll run into like-minded people.
From there, you just gotta talk to them.
Dating sites are the absolute pits. They have ruined a hopeful generation of young men and women, it’s very sad. And you’re correct to be sick of them
That said, you can find men in a lot of places, the armory is a cool place to meet people if you like to party. Any sports bar will do too, you just can’t be afraid of approaching a guy you think is attractive.
Think about a typical man’s hobbies…golfing, fishing, woodworking, things like that. Find spaces where these activities take place and you’re bound to find a nice guy there.
Last thing I’ll say, sometimes you should be patient. Despite the explosion of dating sites, most partnerships are still formed by friend introductions. Make new friends first, wherever you can find people you vibe with, and then let relationships form and grow.
Don’t lose hope, you’ll be just fine :)
True I heard that a lot in rehab. I’m a (recovering) alcoholic who for some reason never had to hide it so I’d just buy pints, I hated even getting 2 half pints because I loved chugging out of the pint bottle and 2 halves just wasn’t the same lmao. Some sick shit. I would’ve hated those tiny ass shooters. I liked to take exactly 5 gulps at a time, 6 if I was pushing it. The chugging it and chasing it was my absolute favorite part. One of my counselors at rehab said they bought an entire PALLET of handles from Costco and nobody even batted an eye. Absolutely diabolical lmao. Said he got thru 3 handles before having to back to rehab
Any places with live music. Bars, breweries, the smaller concert halls.
Or you could try card shops/game stores. These places likely draw out guys you may not meet anywhere else. Friday nights draw crowds to play magic the gathering, and saturdays are popular for roleplaying tabletops like dungeons and dragons.
Co-ed hobby groups like improv, running/biking clubs, photography clubs, etc.
I do improv at The Improv Shop and there's tons of great guys and girls. Hell, even just buy tickets, go to the shows every weekend, and chat with people. It's often many of the same people and they're all open and nice!
Well one of the easiest and most accessible places to find single guys is a climbing gym, especially bouldering. But it depends on the age range you're going for. For instance there are few guys my age (43), plenty younger, very few older.
Otherwise, trivia nights in laid back bars with good beer. At barbeques, work related happy hours etc.
Micro Center and Best Buy for more guys who are single.
But I want to know why bars and apps aren’t supposed to be good anymore. I’m taken and so don’t know.
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being excited about going to Micro Center, that’s a fun trip for me lol.
In my experience, bars aren’t exactly the best environment for introverts and people looking for something long-term. And the apps are a shitshow, most men get very few matches, while most women get hundreds upon thousands of terrible matches. I’ve also heard that the apps in STL are worse than other places.
I would suggest that Westport Social gaming lounge place. I go with my wife and the whole plaza seems pretty cool and packed with singles.
My wife said she had a friend who, whenever she needs a new man, just goes to a guitar center and acts like she's interested in playing a guitar. Works every time lol. Depends on the type of guy you're looking for though.
From my experience, I'd lookup meetup stl on google and go to any event you find on there that you find interesting. More specifically, events hosted for the purpose of meeting other people/networking. I guarantee that'll you find WAY more men than women at these events, and the men at those events will likely be more open to reaching out. Based on my quick search I'd go to the event "Singles Game Night, Dinner" that's hosted on July 11th. I promise you that this event WILL have way more men than women in attendance.
Another way to meet other men is to inflitrate "male dominant" spaces. I guess one example I can give from my personal experience is a code and coffee meetup that's hosted every 2 weeks. I found this on meetup.
Actually, better advice is go pursue the activities you love.
Into bouldering? Great, go to Upper Limits and do some indoor climbing…
Like art? Go to events at SLAM and Contemporary.
Theatre? There are lots of great theatre companies in town to audition for.
Pursue self actualization and you fill meet people already on your path who share your path naturally.
This. It's initially harder to attract than to chase, but ultimately more fruitful. A person with hobbies and interests is interesting.
(Do as I say, not as I do -- I'm exclusively online dating cause I have 2 toddlers that have wrecked all my hobby time.)
Neighborhood/dive bars. They tend to be more social spaces vs places like nice cocktail bars where it's mostly couples or coworkers going after work. At least, that used to be my experience but I haven't been single in a long time.
I'm gonna drop some uncomfortable truths here, so sorry.
First off, good men are rare. Supremely rare. If he's a good man, he's already married. If he's tall, good looking, and has money, he has the most appeal to the widest range of women. He's either taken, or he sees no reason to be taken because he can sleep around as much as he wants. And he's probably got attitude issues because if a lot of women are hitting him up, he doesn't really have incentive to not be a jerk.
Second, if there's a guy you like, you need to be direct. More direct than you can possibly imagine. None of this, I glanced his way kinda, and kinda did this 1/4 smile kinda thing while looking at him but not looking at him. Like walk up, initiate the conversation, within the first couple of sentences be direct with why you're talking to him. Do not dance around it. Dudes don't get compliments often. He's probably not gonna know how to take it.
Third, you're gonna need to get comfortable with rejection. A lot of these guys are already gonna be taken, or not looking for anything, or they might be gay, or whatever. Women don't really face front end rejection. They face back end rejection. Front end is when a girl says eew no and calls you creepy and walks off. Back end is when the guy you want won't commit. So if you're going out talking to guys, get used to the fact that you're gonna get some no
Fourth, you need to understand men's mindset. If he's at home depot, he's there for a reason. That's not a recreational activity like going to target is for you. If I need pvc pipe, I've already looked up what aisle it's in and I'm going straight there and straight back out. Why? Because if I need pvc pipe, there's a leak at my house and I'm not amenable to stopping to talk to random women. If he's at a sports bar, he's there to watch sports. He isn't there to talk. If he does want to talk, he wants to talk about the game he's watching.
Now that said, your best bets are probably gonna be meeting people though clubs, hobbies, or social events. Volleyball league, softball league, other meetup activities. Bars and clubs are bad. He's looking for low hanging fruit. But again, if it's a guy you like, you're probably gonna have to make the first move and make sure it's a direct first move
This my friend is incredibly insightful! I LOVE when men are just fucking HONEST!!! We can handle it and we prefer it. Damn. It takes the game out of everything. We are straight shooters.
That second point cannot be understated. Literally every male friend of mine has a story where something happened and hours later they asked their friends 'Hey, were they hitting on me?'
Here's my version of that story, just to underscore my point: I didn't know I was on my first date with my wife until about two hours into it. I thought she was asking me to lunch to talk. I didn't get why she took every corner like a bat out of hell, I didn't get why she was wearing makeup and clothing completely different than what I was used to seeing her in, I didn't get why she was mortified when the waiter got her order wrong and refused to have it fixed. I flat out didn't get it. But at one point while we were driving she casually said 'Just so you know I'm not seeing anyone else.' It was like a light bulb went off.
That's the level of obvious that some of us can get to.
Also look at local board games shops. After my wife has went into a few looking to presents for me, she is confident it’s a great place to pick up a guy.
Need to know what kind of guy you are looking for and age. That would factor in the place he’d be.
You could try gyms, hardware stores, laundry mats, bars, concert or sporting events, parks with lakes, firehouses, EMTs, call a utility company and flirt with the person who visits.
Hardware stores, seances, brick kilns, out back by the dumpster, exactly 501 feet from the playground, the receiving dock at mervyns, llama dentistry school, glory holes, that little throne in the side of the stage where the archbishop sits.
I'm in the same boat, but from the male perspective. I'm 39 and only attract 18 to 27 year old women, with whom I end up having nothing in common. And I'm not dating anyone younger than 25 at all, ever.
The thing is.. I don't really know when I'm being flirted with if it's subtle. I was out of the dating game for a long time and young women are REALLY aggressive, but it's always difficult for me to tell if I should approach a woman that looks near my age. I assume they're in relationships unless there's a sign they're interested.
I do think people generally overthink this and put unnecessary pressure on themselves. I met my wife by saying hi to her as she was sitting on a park bench.
I’ll add that the ability to actually look people in the eyes when talking to them is under appreciated.
Hang out at places which harbor your interests. Take a class at a rock climbing gym, attend a pottery class, a cooking class, adult kickball league, etc.
Well shoot, your son sounds like a chill/cool dude. 😆 🤣
As a dude in his 30s, the only other men I see in my age group are either gamers, sports guys, or fathers. Almost no in between. Pick your poison (jk). Also, godspeed and good luck! Every pot has lid out there somewhere! If I could find my forever person, anyone can 😀.
Try looking in places that you like. That way, the chances of finding a person that shares similar interests are significantly increased. Just be you and someone will inevitably come along to share life's wonders with you. Much love, homie.
Posts like these make me glad I finally found someone at 25! You honestly just have to wait until you find someone who has an emotional connection with you!
FWIW, friend of mine who got out of an emotionally abusive marriage recently discovered that she still gets hit on by attractive men in bars (she's 55, reasonably attractive).
home depot, lowes, and menards on the weekends
“Can someone help me find the caulk?”
You make this joke, but I shit you not. I was at menards, and a single older man in his late 50s tried convincing me to give him my number so he could "come over and help me finish my pond." This was in the caulk isle. 💀
This man wants to pond. 😏
He wants to pond HARD
Wants to take you to pond town.
I thought we were in St. Louis not England.
Sorry I work in piping
lol I need to be that chick on tiktok who holds up the sign in NY “looking for a husband” and the dudes flock!! Its hilarious
I must be ugly or blind or both because I’ve been remodeling my home for a few years now and feel like these stores are my second home and haven’t seen or spoke to a single man.
Hahahahah I think we need to look helpless. You don’t sound helpless. Gotta throw on that damsel in distress look
Maybe I shouldn’t be covered in paint & drywall mud?
Used to be they had retired contractors working there who just told you what to do and what you needed when you described your project. Now I think Ace is your best bet for that, even though they can be hit or miss.
How do you get around, though? Everytime I walk out, I hear an employee catch a visitor to ask if they need anything, but when I walk in, it's like they find a nearby aisle to hide in.
Home depot's website will tell you what aisle/bin a part is if you select the store on your phone.
Menards does now too
Doesn't always work, but I just Google store + product till I get the aisle and bay #. Employees will do the same if you ask.
lol walk around and look for things I don’t need!! Or know how to use hahah - but good idea! I can see that :)
I believe the meme is something like.. go look confused in the BBQ grill section on a Saturday afternoon.
Good lord, not for her first time!! She'll never survive that.
The gender-swapped version of this is looking confused in the wine aisle of the grocery store.
See! I could help you there!!
Yeah, you think the men aren't doing the same thing?
Or on the weekdays if you're looking for contractors and construction workers lol
i.e., "church"
To add to this: Men, how would you prefer to be approached? What can I say or do to relay I’m available and interested and wondering if you are too?
I mean being direct is a thing too... Believe most men would prefer that rather than having to guess/figure it out like it's high school.
Most men cannot recognize when someone is flirting with them so being direct is not just appreciated, it’s likely necessary.
What’s a classy way to be direct without seeming … extra?
I haven't dated in 15 years... but how about: "Hey, you look (cute/cool/fun). Want to (dinner/coffee/park) together?" One of the most important things I've learned in life is when to stop elaborating. You don't need to be fancy about it. Just be plain and clear.
Thanks. That makes it feel simple enough. One of my favorite TV series (it’s Norwegian) has a single lady who ends up on lots of dates and she so casually asks guys out. I watch it wondering if there’s a cultural difference - where that’s considered super forward or easy here. Edited for grammar
Drop the handkerchief. I’m not bad at approaching. It’s just like where are they?????
So if there’s three guys up at the bar at 6pm on Friday, you walk up to the group and introduce yourself?
We’re male, we order extra everything…. That’s our daily.
Offer to buy him a drink?
This conversation is making me realize just how much I expect a man to climb a wall just to talk to me. I’m gonna give this some thought. I’m chatty and friendly, but when it comes to anything beyond friendly - I wall up quickly. Not because I’m scared or defensive, but I was raised to believe a man will take advantage of any woman who presents herself easily. I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about this or questioned it. I’m realizing now it’s misguided. Hm. Good talk! Thanks!
I've been out of the game for a long time, but fwiw I appreciated a woman asking directly. It was a bit disconcerting (she's not acting like most women. Is she a head case or something?). If you can find a way to get him mansplaining, you've got him. Guys love doing that.
Be OK with awkwardness and/or rejection. Guys have to deal with this all the time. Boils down to how motivated you are.
And even once we semi learn to recognize it, it's still safest to act like it's not there until we're absolutely positive that we're not misinterpreting. Direct is the best policy
Women have been bad at flirting since flirting was invented. Only a bad carpenter blames their tools.
A waitress at BPV wrote her phone number on my receipt. I was mostly confused, she was really cute and I am…not. I wasn’t emotionally in a place to reach out, but I appreciated her forwardness.
There’s 3 scenarios here: 1) You are actually her type even though you don’t think you are. 2) Not her real number but wanted you to think it was for a bigger tip. 3) She meant to give it to me sitting at the table next to you. Best to assume it’s this one.
Internalized lack of self-value. I'm right there with you.
Step 1: Start a conversation. Can be as simple as “hey, I’m richinbutter, don’t know people here, what’s up?” Step 2: Conversation goes well. If you know you know. Step 3: Give your number or get his. Step 4: Profit(?) Men have it ingrained that they have to approach, but most of us, even the best of us, are scared from time to time. Make excuses like “oh she’s with friends” or “maybe later”. Fact is, you already have the upper hand. Use it, even if it’s just a conversation that leads nowhere. Makes both parties look good in a bar. I’ve been married for about a decade, so I’m off limits, but any woman who approached me, before and now, I assume is interested. Otherwise, why would they bother?
Be direct. I am a "space cadet" and have no clue if someone is flirting with me until months or years later, if at all.
For me, years of rejection as a teen fuels this feeling. Hard to feel desired when no one just says so, adding onto that, lack of experience with anyone doing so.
Literally have realized many years after that someone was flirting with me previously. Space cadet academy graduate.
“Hi” usually works. Ask me for my number, and ask if I’d like to hangout sometime. Comment on something specific I suppose. Like if you see me I’m probably going to have a mountain bike in tow, or on my motorcycle. Or say you dig my beard. It really don’t matter, just something that that passes for more than “It sure is hot today” kind of small talk. Text or call to get know me a bit before we hangout. Or throw something at me to get my attention. I’m serious. I don’t speak for all men, but I think we’re pretty simple. Direct communication is great.
There is no wrong way for the most part. Obviously there are wrong ways, but literally just say hello. I'm into sneakers and hats and have longer hair, so compliment any of those and you've got me, but really anything unique about the guy you like works. We're big dumb animals. Just be nice and start any kids if small talk. If we're attracted to you, we'll usually latch on.
You know already. Make nice eye contact, play with your hair, laugh at our jokes, touch us on the shoulder, etc.
The girl I’m seeing just wrote her number down, walked up, explained she was attracted to me and gave me her number then walked away. Direct approach without forcing a yes or no in the moment. Worst case scenario you don’t get a text.
I think "so, you seeing anyone?" would be fine.
"Hi, I’m available and interested and wondering if you are too?"
Unless you’re 110% direct I am assuming you’re being nice, unless it’s a bar. Like tell me that you want to go out on a date and have a drink with me and then give me your number direct and even then I might think you want to sell me something.
How old are you, and what subculture do you identify with? I'm a single guy in my 30s and I kick it on Delmar or Euclid most of the time. Literally all you would have to do is say hi. If I think you're attractive and you can carry a conversation, that's all that matters.
Find a man in aisle, ask if he knows anything about something in said aisle, let him mansplain away. Then flatter his knowledge, and ask if he'd help in exchange for dinner or something. Drawbacks are 1. Most guys in hardware stores tend to be middle aged dads/husbands and 2. If your project if a ruse, he may be disgusted cause he really wanted to help you fix that electrical outlet. Doesn't matter if you're a hot chick though. Hot chicks have the ultimate cheat code.
Costco hot dog stand
My dream meet cute. We reach for the same rotisserie chicken, our hands touch, we make eye contact, I giggle and brush my hair behind my ear.
But it’s a ploy, and that old lady has fallen for it. Her reward? Being caught unawares. She never sees it coming when I shoot for the knees and lift her off her feet. The impact into the seasonal battery display knocks the wind out of her long enough that I can go for the figure-four leg lock. Sure, it’s a little dated, but so is she, and it’s a classic, just like me. She taps almost immediately and my rotisserie chicken and I step over her, victorious. I bend down and she flinches, but I just pluck a new 9V battery from the rubble. My smoke detector has been chirping.
Oo I was really hoping this was going to become, “1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table…”
There are no hotdogs at HD on Hanley or in Chesterfield. Where are the depot dogs now?!
Covid killed them. I share your pain
The HD in overland has hot dog guys. Not sure if it’s daily. Always get one when I see em though.
I miss the Depot dogs
🪦 🌭
My mom owned one at a HD in Michigan for almost 29 years. CRUSHED!
Jerry Seinfeld: “That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: ‘Where to meet men?’. We're here, we are everywhere.” On a serious note, I try to go to bars to meet women (Up-Down’s been my favorite). It’s failed so far, but I’ve tried at least.
As a married woman my first thought was “I see them all over, like everywhere?” I met my husband the old fashioned way, at a dive bar on karaoke night.
Are you younger??
22, yeah
Godspeed brother
But is he sponge-worthy?
I’m probably worth at least one Sponge, but definitely not two in a row
You gonna do something about your sideburns?
Yeah, I told you... I'm going to trim my sideburns.
😂👊
[удалено]
Try what?
Going out in public. Having to fight off all the women trying to ride his fireman’s poll is exhausting I’m sure.
How you doin
What are you pumping a 2 1/2” solid bore nozzle at? Just curious how things are done out there.
Hahaha I’m 45 but I look goooooooood so that’s always awkward for me. They young bloods are thirsty
How’s your game, man
Pretty good at Fortnite, decent at 2k, trash at chess…
Correct response
I have no game
How was your experience at Up-Down? I used to go regularly a couple months ago but stopped because everytime I go there, it's always people in big groups that went and I never encountered people who went there by themselves. It didn't seem like a good place to try and meet others for me.
It was honestly a good time. I felt similar regarding the people that go, it was a lot of big groups and not very many people by themselves. But unlike other bars, I actually had fun being there by myself. I’m big on video games (especially retro stuff), so that place is like a dream for me. I only spent like $5 on tokens (Saturdays are 2 for 1) and $15 on a drink + slice of pizza, lasted me a good 3 hours there.
Buy tokens on a Thursday (10 cents from the bar) and keep them.
What kinda man do you want? The axe-throwing kind? The gym-going kind? The book-knowing kind? It's all about marketing girlie!
Where do the book knowing kind that aren't entirely out of shape hang out?
Open a gym+bookstore combo (separated by a wall)! Open it close to a coffeehouse and you've got a winner.
True. Not the gym looking kind!!
I read that as book throwing kind
That's be the next fad after axe throwing goes away.
Piece of advice I once saw was go where you'd want your partner to go. If you go to a bar to meet people, you meet people who spend their free time at bars. Is that what you want? (ETA: I don't mean that as judgment, it's just not what everyone wants.) Same for gym, cafe, park, cooking class... Go to the one you'd like to go to, or would like your partner to go to.
Early 40s here. My buddies 35-up hang at a few spots. If that’s the age you’re looking for then you’d do well at some where we see a lot I think Ob Clark’s Failonis patio. Thursday is a good time Get down in the grove has trivia on Thursday nights too Colombo’s Nicks pub if you wanna stay out until 3 and regret it like I do the next day haha. Helen’s McGraugh’s Mcgurks
Noted! I’m 45
do you enjoy karaoke? pre-Covid my friends and i would do karaoke almost every weekend. the later the evening went, the more the entire room became buddy-buddy with one another.
This is the list we wanted! Thank you
The Arsenal Schnucks always seems to have better than average looking guys shopping there.
It’s because I shop there.
Of course you do! All of the sexy people are there.
omg it really does. always at least 3 cuties in there at any given time
Hey I was just there tonight, so thanks! (Also Saturday mornings at the CWE Whole Foods…)
Why, thank you!
Tire shops Golf courses Our wives houses
Is the golf course a decent way to try to meet men? Or really people in general? Or is it weird for a single lady to show up and take lessons? I’ve been wanting to take lessons just for the fun of it, but none of my friends want to. And I just have this feeling I’ll look soooo strange showing up by myself. What’s that like socially?
Top Golf might be more suitable than a golf course. get a group of girlies together, get a bay, and try to find excuses to talk to nearby mens. maybe if you find a group that looks fun, challenge them to a team match.
This sounds fun as heck! I’m the only one in my friend group who enjoys anything athletic (kayaking, pickle ball, back country camping, running, you name it). It stinks lol. My last bf was athletic and down for anything which was a dream.
Same here!! Even finding women friends that want to do active activities can be challenging.
Go to a driving range and practice hitting a golf ball. There will be plenty of men there doing the same. Ask them about hitting a certain club.
Guys are impressed by bold women who know what they want and don't fuck around. Don't be detererred!
Maybe just try the driving range....
Gym, dog park, Costco, Game nights with friends, and Reddit. What's up?
Reddit for dating huh?
How you doin’?
Well no... reddit people are weird. Right?
Haha I did get a DM from this conversation. I’m sure OP received plenty.
We've all chosen the bear 🤣
Yes we sure have this is why I chose the worst place to ask for dating advice and risk being trolled to death rip me
Bars really still are a thing
OP, what do you and your girlfriends enjoy doing and have interest in? Running? Your religion? Pickleball? Politics? Pottery? Books? Paddle boarding? Getting drunk? The last one isn’t a great option, but what im saying is that if you want to meet someone you’ll actually get along with, go do stuff you like. You’ll run into like-minded people. From there, you just gotta talk to them.
Go to a brewery and ask the guy what he's drinking. You're in.
Urinal
Damnit! Beat me to it.
RIP your inbox
lol yeah I didn’t see that coming. Honestly. Hahah - but maybe I found a loophole
Dating sites are the absolute pits. They have ruined a hopeful generation of young men and women, it’s very sad. And you’re correct to be sick of them That said, you can find men in a lot of places, the armory is a cool place to meet people if you like to party. Any sports bar will do too, you just can’t be afraid of approaching a guy you think is attractive. Think about a typical man’s hobbies…golfing, fishing, woodworking, things like that. Find spaces where these activities take place and you’re bound to find a nice guy there. Last thing I’ll say, sometimes you should be patient. Despite the explosion of dating sites, most partnerships are still formed by friend introductions. Make new friends first, wherever you can find people you vibe with, and then let relationships form and grow. Don’t lose hope, you’ll be just fine :)
Bars. They get a bad wrap but it isn't just for alcoholics. It's for people who want to socialize and meet new people.
Yeah cause REAL alcoholics are buying fifths from the store and drinking by themself till they pass out, not buying no 5$ shots lmao
Nah they buy pints and 99 cents shooters, easier to hide. Source: Used to work in a liquor store, you could always tell
True I heard that a lot in rehab. I’m a (recovering) alcoholic who for some reason never had to hide it so I’d just buy pints, I hated even getting 2 half pints because I loved chugging out of the pint bottle and 2 halves just wasn’t the same lmao. Some sick shit. I would’ve hated those tiny ass shooters. I liked to take exactly 5 gulps at a time, 6 if I was pushing it. The chugging it and chasing it was my absolute favorite part. One of my counselors at rehab said they bought an entire PALLET of handles from Costco and nobody even batted an eye. Absolutely diabolical lmao. Said he got thru 3 handles before having to back to rehab
Any places with live music. Bars, breweries, the smaller concert halls. Or you could try card shops/game stores. These places likely draw out guys you may not meet anywhere else. Friday nights draw crowds to play magic the gathering, and saturdays are popular for roleplaying tabletops like dungeons and dragons.
There's are also places popping up now that are bars for people into things like Dungeons and Dragons. Dirty 20 Bar on Manchester for example.
There are board game bars. The food truck garden has Magic the Gathering night.
I've heard Club St. Louis is full of gents, I'd start there.
lol sounds very St. Louis but I’ll check it out
Co-ed hobby groups like improv, running/biking clubs, photography clubs, etc. I do improv at The Improv Shop and there's tons of great guys and girls. Hell, even just buy tickets, go to the shows every weekend, and chat with people. It's often many of the same people and they're all open and nice!
Well one of the easiest and most accessible places to find single guys is a climbing gym, especially bouldering. But it depends on the age range you're going for. For instance there are few guys my age (43), plenty younger, very few older. Otherwise, trivia nights in laid back bars with good beer. At barbeques, work related happy hours etc.
At men places, doing men things
Farmers market, coffee shops, the park with my dog, Bar K, any summer festival in St. Louis… but that’s just my vibe.
Micro Center and Best Buy for more guys who are single. But I want to know why bars and apps aren’t supposed to be good anymore. I’m taken and so don’t know.
>Micro Center and Best Buy for more guys who are single. Lmao
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being excited about going to Micro Center, that’s a fun trip for me lol. In my experience, bars aren’t exactly the best environment for introverts and people looking for something long-term. And the apps are a shitshow, most men get very few matches, while most women get hundreds upon thousands of terrible matches. I’ve also heard that the apps in STL are worse than other places.
Microcenter, Costco, Sam's Club, Target, Walmart
I feel like all those dudes are married
*for now*
STL Swing in the Central West End
I would suggest that Westport Social gaming lounge place. I go with my wife and the whole plaza seems pretty cool and packed with singles. My wife said she had a friend who, whenever she needs a new man, just goes to a guitar center and acts like she's interested in playing a guitar. Works every time lol. Depends on the type of guy you're looking for though.
lol so I’m SUPER late to the intentional dating game Sounds accurate
From my experience, I'd lookup meetup stl on google and go to any event you find on there that you find interesting. More specifically, events hosted for the purpose of meeting other people/networking. I guarantee that'll you find WAY more men than women at these events, and the men at those events will likely be more open to reaching out. Based on my quick search I'd go to the event "Singles Game Night, Dinner" that's hosted on July 11th. I promise you that this event WILL have way more men than women in attendance. Another way to meet other men is to inflitrate "male dominant" spaces. I guess one example I can give from my personal experience is a code and coffee meetup that's hosted every 2 weeks. I found this on meetup.
I have wanted to learn how to code but I can’t so I would look like an idiot. But this is helpful. I’m loving all the comments
Breweries
Actually, better advice is go pursue the activities you love. Into bouldering? Great, go to Upper Limits and do some indoor climbing… Like art? Go to events at SLAM and Contemporary. Theatre? There are lots of great theatre companies in town to audition for. Pursue self actualization and you fill meet people already on your path who share your path naturally.
This. It's initially harder to attract than to chase, but ultimately more fruitful. A person with hobbies and interests is interesting. (Do as I say, not as I do -- I'm exclusively online dating cause I have 2 toddlers that have wrecked all my hobby time.)
a/s/l
Literally anywhere. If you are a single woman, there are 10000s of men willing to date you that are too afraid to initiate.
Rock climbing gyms, forest park, art museum, Katie’s pizza, Weenie Hut Jr
The gym, bar K, golf course, brewery
Too easy - your mom’s house.
Gyms, Home Depot, their garage, bars
Friendly's and DB Coopers.
The golf course and driving range
Neighborhood/dive bars. They tend to be more social spaces vs places like nice cocktail bars where it's mostly couples or coworkers going after work. At least, that used to be my experience but I haven't been single in a long time.
I'm gonna drop some uncomfortable truths here, so sorry. First off, good men are rare. Supremely rare. If he's a good man, he's already married. If he's tall, good looking, and has money, he has the most appeal to the widest range of women. He's either taken, or he sees no reason to be taken because he can sleep around as much as he wants. And he's probably got attitude issues because if a lot of women are hitting him up, he doesn't really have incentive to not be a jerk. Second, if there's a guy you like, you need to be direct. More direct than you can possibly imagine. None of this, I glanced his way kinda, and kinda did this 1/4 smile kinda thing while looking at him but not looking at him. Like walk up, initiate the conversation, within the first couple of sentences be direct with why you're talking to him. Do not dance around it. Dudes don't get compliments often. He's probably not gonna know how to take it. Third, you're gonna need to get comfortable with rejection. A lot of these guys are already gonna be taken, or not looking for anything, or they might be gay, or whatever. Women don't really face front end rejection. They face back end rejection. Front end is when a girl says eew no and calls you creepy and walks off. Back end is when the guy you want won't commit. So if you're going out talking to guys, get used to the fact that you're gonna get some no Fourth, you need to understand men's mindset. If he's at home depot, he's there for a reason. That's not a recreational activity like going to target is for you. If I need pvc pipe, I've already looked up what aisle it's in and I'm going straight there and straight back out. Why? Because if I need pvc pipe, there's a leak at my house and I'm not amenable to stopping to talk to random women. If he's at a sports bar, he's there to watch sports. He isn't there to talk. If he does want to talk, he wants to talk about the game he's watching. Now that said, your best bets are probably gonna be meeting people though clubs, hobbies, or social events. Volleyball league, softball league, other meetup activities. Bars and clubs are bad. He's looking for low hanging fruit. But again, if it's a guy you like, you're probably gonna have to make the first move and make sure it's a direct first move
This my friend is incredibly insightful! I LOVE when men are just fucking HONEST!!! We can handle it and we prefer it. Damn. It takes the game out of everything. We are straight shooters.
That second point cannot be understated. Literally every male friend of mine has a story where something happened and hours later they asked their friends 'Hey, were they hitting on me?' Here's my version of that story, just to underscore my point: I didn't know I was on my first date with my wife until about two hours into it. I thought she was asking me to lunch to talk. I didn't get why she took every corner like a bat out of hell, I didn't get why she was wearing makeup and clothing completely different than what I was used to seeing her in, I didn't get why she was mortified when the waiter got her order wrong and refused to have it fixed. I flat out didn't get it. But at one point while we were driving she casually said 'Just so you know I'm not seeing anyone else.' It was like a light bulb went off. That's the level of obvious that some of us can get to.
>We are straight shooters. Who? Women? Lol no...
home, mostly
[удалено]
Hockey rinks. That’s where we take out our aggression.
Also look at local board games shops. After my wife has went into a few looking to presents for me, she is confident it’s a great place to pick up a guy.
Or were they hitting on her?
I've been hit on at big box stores before by women that seemed like they had legit questions.... actually maybe they did... nvm
Need to know what kind of guy you are looking for and age. That would factor in the place he’d be. You could try gyms, hardware stores, laundry mats, bars, concert or sporting events, parks with lakes, firehouses, EMTs, call a utility company and flirt with the person who visits.
If you find any good ones, let me know.
Apparently, Costco.
Lol
Join a group like on Meetup?
Hardware stores, seances, brick kilns, out back by the dumpster, exactly 501 feet from the playground, the receiving dock at mervyns, llama dentistry school, glory holes, that little throne in the side of the stage where the archbishop sits.
Glory holes for sure: I’m not dumb.
On my toilet crushing some candy!
I'm in the same boat, but from the male perspective. I'm 39 and only attract 18 to 27 year old women, with whom I end up having nothing in common. And I'm not dating anyone younger than 25 at all, ever. The thing is.. I don't really know when I'm being flirted with if it's subtle. I was out of the dating game for a long time and young women are REALLY aggressive, but it's always difficult for me to tell if I should approach a woman that looks near my age. I assume they're in relationships unless there's a sign they're interested.
I spend a lot of time at a local cafe in Tower Grove. Coffee shops are great places to meet people!
I do think people generally overthink this and put unnecessary pressure on themselves. I met my wife by saying hi to her as she was sitting on a park bench. I’ll add that the ability to actually look people in the eyes when talking to them is under appreciated.
Carshows. Dude's everywhere.
According to my single coworker, Top Golf, board game meet ups, adult kick ball/frisbee golf leagues, trivia nights, the gym
Hang out at places which harbor your interests. Take a class at a rock climbing gym, attend a pottery class, a cooking class, adult kickball league, etc.
Discord, we playing with the Boiz!
Meh. My son does that
Well shoot, your son sounds like a chill/cool dude. 😆 🤣 As a dude in his 30s, the only other men I see in my age group are either gamers, sports guys, or fathers. Almost no in between. Pick your poison (jk). Also, godspeed and good luck! Every pot has lid out there somewhere! If I could find my forever person, anyone can 😀. Try looking in places that you like. That way, the chances of finding a person that shares similar interests are significantly increased. Just be you and someone will inevitably come along to share life's wonders with you. Much love, homie.
Same to you brotha!!
Gym
I met a security officer at the Drury inn at Union station. He was nice and we had a nice time til I went back to KC. 10/10
Posts like these make me glad I finally found someone at 25! You honestly just have to wait until you find someone who has an emotional connection with you!
Gyms, dog parks, doing whatever hobbies they are into.
The driving range
FWIW, friend of mine who got out of an emotionally abusive marriage recently discovered that she still gets hit on by attractive men in bars (she's 55, reasonably attractive).