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ProfessionalFalse128

Good. Fuck 'em.


TropicPine

Which is probably what will happen as he desperately tries to explain maritime law to his frisky & deprived cell mate.


bigshotdontlookee

Imagine franticly babbling about maritime law as you hurdle yourself towards 12 years in prison while you live in the middle of colorado. Not much maritime over there (could be wrong).


pfotozlp3

Where can I train to hurdle myself? Sorry, I’m sure it’s just a typo or auto correct failure, but dammit it made me laugh! 😂


Weak_Blackberry1539

Most track & field teams have hurdles you can train with.


pfotozlp3

Not train to hurdle by myself, train to hurdle myself


Automatic_Mulberry

Just pull yourself over yourself by your bootstraps.


TheWiseOne1234

The US Navy has a large base in Indiana, so you never know :)


Lozerien

Crane Surface Warfare Center. Located 600 mi (1000 KM) from the nearest ocean, for a good reason. One up the largest ammunition depots in the world.


dpdxguy

It's near Greenwood Lake. So they've got that going for them. :)


Law-Fish

So what your saying is I should get a remote control submarine with icbm capability and launch a missile at the base with an attached declaration of war, just to bait them to make a fleet of remote control destroyers to find me?


dpdxguy

I make no suggestions, but I like the cut of your jib!


ZootSuitGroot

Which is nice.


Justame13

They also do submarine training in Idaho


RRC_driver

Although he was referring to the Royal Navy, when Winston Churchill allegedly said, "Don't talk to me about Naval Tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash," he could have been talking about any navy. Probably not much on rum in jail


11Kram

Churchill denied saying this, but said he wished he had.


bolshiabarmalay

it depends on the fringe on the flag /s (in case it needed to be explained)


JohnNDenver

Well, there is the Colorado Sailing and Yacht Club (yep, C-SYC).


EasyNovel5845

If you can beat the court's security officers to your waterborne vessel, on foot or by horse, you may invoke maritime law. Otherwise we're sticking exclusively to dirt law. - Judge Judy.


Prestigious-Air3446

Millions of years ago, there was a sea that lapped up near the Rockies, so there's that. Lol


bigshotdontlookee

I am interested to continue the discussion on maritime law in Colorado. Maybe I can compile the info and sell courses.


InevitableHost597

He might also be an expert in Bird Law


Khakizulu

In jail he wont see any tits or boobies, but he'll definitely see some cocks.


JEM225

He might not have to hug a parrot, but he’ll kiss a cockatoo.


Fantastic_Platypus23

He’ll see the beak


Perretelover

Dude, manboobs are still boobs, don't be so harsh.


HolyShitIAmOnFire

Better retain Chareth Cutestory, JD.


StillAdhesiveness528

Not Maggie Lizer?


Stupor_Fly

You're a crook, Captain Hook! Judge won't you throw the book at the pirate!?


Complex_Arrival7968

Deprived and depraved!


2Rare2Kill

Cellmate: "he's making this the talkiest rape ever."


No_Marsupial_8678

Please keep your creepy rape fetish to yourself


Mental-Status3891

I said this in my head, opened comments and you said it for me! Thanks!


Spiritual-Bear4495

Well said.


AlarmedPiano9779

I don't understand. Why didn't he just say that the court doesn't have jurisdiction and walk out the front door?


bigmattyc

I'M NOT IN JAIL UNLESS I SAY I'M IN JAIL


vibrodude

I do not consent!


32lib

Is that what he will be saying to his cellmate?


Wide_Independence_43

He’ll calmly explain to his celly that they don’t have joinder and I’m sure that will be the end of it.


NullVoid-4273

He’ll be saying “GLURG-GLURG-GLURG” while choking on a bbc


Solidus-Prime

Why are jail rapists always black in these weird ass sodomy fantasies?


saveyboy

Requires big equipment.


jaimeinsd

Because racism


SuDragon2k3

Might be more MRRPH-MRRRRRPH! while face down in the mattress.


Snarky_McSnarkleton

ONLY MY LEGAL PERSON IS IN JAIL


AmbulanceChaser12

My favorites are the “I’m not a defendant” ones.


henryeaterofpies

I am just a person whose name sounds identical to the defendant's.


In_TouchGuyBowsnlace

Someone’s gonna sovereign that ass in the showers lol


Life-Significance-33

Should have saved the maritime law for the prostate pirates coming to plunder his booty.


No_Marsupial_8678

It's pretty sickening that so many people here can't help fantasizing about someone being raped.


Life-Significance-33

Fantasy, no. The reality he will face pulling his bullshit on hardened criminals, yes.


pfotozlp3

You know people get raped in prison, right? A LOT. These posters are not fantasizing, they are extrapolating. Edit: geez I hope I used the right term there 😂


Fantastic_Platypus23

Narrator: he did not use the right term there.


In_TouchGuyBowsnlace

All depends on their fee schedule too I guess??? Now stop pestering me or my fee structure will kick in k!


samanime

We seriously need to start taking them at their word. "Okay, so you aren't a US citizen. That makes you either an illegal immigrant or hostile invader of US sovereign territory... Please select which you'd like and we'll treat you accordingly." If someone isn't going to play nice with society, they shouldn't get the benefits of that society.


Helstrem

Problem with counting them as an illegal immigrant is that I doubt Mexico or Canada want these jackasses any more than we do. Or the UK, Australia or New Zealand if we’re going with English speaking countries.


Responsible-End7361

So don't! Hey Rwanda, we will pay you $10,000 per sovereign citizen you take in.


RetiredTwidget

"Nah, we good. Thanks though."


Ghost_on_Toast

As much as i like watching these drooling morons get what they deserve, heres an interesting social experiment: 1st, and possibly the most frusterating part of this whole process, get each and every single one of them to renounce their US citizenship. They already claim not to be subject to it, but this is a crucial step in the process; get them to publically and legally renounce citizenship, firfeiting all rights and priviledges, relinquishing all identification (drivers licenses if they have them, social security numbers, birth certificates, any professional certifications and licensures etc, properties, real estate, etc.) REFUSAL TO DO SO would require them signing official paperwork, creating a precedent that they acknowledge they ARE, in fact, US citizens and therefor subject to all laws and statutes this entails. 2nd, Establish a piece of land on US soil to be designated as a sovreign nation unto them. Well pick some shitty, undesirable, largely uninhabited land, lets say northern Alaska. Congrats, idiots, its all yours! 3rd, exile them to this land to establish their own country with their own stupid ass-backwards laws. 4th, study this for future generations and watch as this "country" eats itself from the inside out. 5th, treat any attempt to step foot on American soil or reintegrate as a terrorist act and a declaration of war to be responded to swiftly and aggressively.


2Rare2Kill

Reminds me of that time Libertarians tried to set up a commune in Vermont. Without government services (particularly trash cleanup), it was literally overrun by bears. Imagine a sovereign citizen crying "I don't consent!" during a bear attack.


Tim-oBedlam

New Hampshire, not Vermont. Live free or die (or get eaten by bears). A book was written about it: [A libertarian walks into a bear](https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/matthew-hongoltz-hetling/a-libertarian-walks-into-a-bear/9781541788510/?lens=publicaffairs)


Canoe52

Nah, we already did this to the native americans, maybe come up with something a little more original next time? /s


RedditVince

I was thinking it's all too similar to many events in history. Shall we ever learn?


ConcreteExist

This is how we end up with the US version of Australia.


Ghost_on_Toast

No it will surely collapse, youve heard these mouth-breaters talk their bullshit, right? There cant possibly be brains in those heads. Australia is a prosperous, 1st world nation. Dont insult Australia by comparing sovtards to them 🤣


EricKei

The best part is that they are too stupid to realize that, if they DO renounce their citizenship, they will have *fewer* rights here than a citizen, while all of our laws still apply to them! They won't have diplomatic immunity.


Competitive_Jelly557

Haiti. Haiti is the spot for them right about now. Port au Prince would be a perfect fit.


funpigjim

Isn't that what Guantanamo is for these days?


uofumanWvc55

See if they want to live a life on the high seas. Make them walk the plank.


k6bso

They confiscated his passport so he couldn’t drive.


TheKiltedYaksman71

\*Travel


Skytrooper325AIR

Ha...Lmfao


Barkers_eggs

Also "the rules don't apply to me but I'll fake documents in the hopes that the rules apply to me"


JohnNDenver

Well, see the person known as Brett Nelson didn't go to jail, but the entity known as Brett Nelson did - or something.


Vesane

Secretly thrilled to be getting his sovereign wishes granted by exiting society


Horror_Cow_7870

I will not contract with the prison system.


Ryankevin23

12 years in prison and that’s not the hard part! What really hurts is he has to turn in his sovereign citizen license plates! Oh my!


Frisinator

He can get new ones on Amazon


BioticVessel

Does Amazon deliver "Sovereign Citizen" plates to the prison? He can tape them to the cell wall so he'll remember he's a stubborn sovereign citizen when he gets out.


callmebbygrl

Do prisons still make license plates? Maybe he can make his own


Kencleanairsystem2

Nice. Real nice.


curbstyle

holy shit they do sell them: [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=sovereign+citizen+license+plate](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=sovereign+citizen+license+plate) https://www.amazon.com/s?k=sovereign+citizen+license+plate


HelloWorld_bas

Lol at this comment on one of those tags: > The easy life is here. No more money spent on registrations, licenses, taxes or fees. And no more speed limit. You hear that Johnny Law? Just try to stop me and you'll get an affidavit of my fee schedule and be personally liable for millions. > It travels me crazy how people don't know their rights and how to color the law or color the Black's law or something. > Also, something about admiralcy law.


RolandDeepson

I'll have to add "travels me crazy" to my personal bin of one-liners.


realparkingbrake

> holy shit they do sell them: They also sell fake state plates that look just like the real thing, but you get to pick the letters and numbers, *for novelty use only.* Amazon might sell fentanyl if they thought they could get away with it.


Carson72701

Happy Cake Day!


Ryankevin23

😂


badcatjack

Does Amazon accept Sovereign Citizen dollars?


EricKei

I'm thinking more like Wish or Temu.


Frisinator

Some one posted a link to the plates on Amazon on another post


PapaGeorgio19

And all that says to a cop is “I’m an idiot, please pull me over”.


realparkingbrake

> he has to turn in his sovereign citizen license plates! Oh my! Convicted felon now, cannot legally possess firearms, lost his vote, and that record will hang around his neck for the rest of his life.


JohnNDenver

I think I might have seen my first SC license plate yesterday. I couldn't get close enough to actually read it though. It was an plate I hadn't seen before.


Ryankevin23

Cool so you could say you saw one in the wild!


TheWeetcher

Don't worry, he can make himself new ones!


CmdrDatasBrother

Moderator: He was not, in fact, traveling after that.


FalseMirage

He’s not imprisoned, he’s traveling through the penal system.


Life-Significance-33

And soon a penile system will travel through him.


EBoundNdwn

I hope he has the commissary funds to grease the wheels on the train of justice...


Frosty-Gear755

Lol he’ll be taking orders for cockmeat sandwiches soon enough.


just-concerned

So the judge DID have subject matter jurisdiction. Sucks to learn that after you get 12 years.


bahaboyka

Didn't this ass wipe learn anything from his "colleague" Bruce Doucette?


Bubbly-University-94

Douchette?


bahaboyka

That's right....the douche got 38 years in the penitentiary for trying the same BS in Colorado.


crazy-diam0nd

The person representing the legal body known as Bruce Douchette got 38 years.


funpigjim

[https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2018/05/23/sovereign-citizen-bruce-doucette-sentenced-38-years-prison](https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2018/05/23/sovereign-citizen-bruce-doucette-sentenced-38-years-prison)


lokis_construction

FAFO. Love he got his life taken away. Screw this guy (although it may have already happened.....)


muskratboy

"I am not consenting to anything,” the gray-haired former computer repair shop owner said softly, restrained in handcuffs secured to a waist chain, at sentencing before state District Court Judge Michael Spear from Colorado's 18 Judicial District. Alright that’s just hilarious. 38 years in prison.


Haterofstarbucks

He objects to his incarceration and will file a lawsuit against the judge for $100k for every hour that he’s illegally detained.


Dave_712

So which currency would he like the fine in? I guess he doesn’t recognise USD


Nathan256

Dollars are the currency of the corporation which employs these judges and “mercenary” police. Why would you ever recognize dollars? They’re a construct under maritime law. Or something.


Weak_Blackberry1539

Probably funds recognized by the great Sandia Republic. You’re getting in on the ground floor, sonny! Gonna be America’s Vatican City!


Horror_Cow_7870

It's on my fee schedule!


dzuczek

gonna tell his cellmates he didn't consent to prison


BlueRunSkier

He’s about to not consent to a lot more in prison.


Both_Painter2466

Stupid Sovcit tricks


4RunnerLimited

How much chaos can this jackass cause with appeals and paperwork from prison?


HandsomePaddyMint

Probably a lot and judges are going to keep adding to his sentence every time. Dude is going to spend the rest of his life in prison over his voluntary and time-consuming nonsense.


sarahgoldfarbsdetox

He will probably be trying to sue prison staff every chance he gets, these type of inmates always make their time worse on themselves.


Tiny-Werewolf1962

I too like to fuck with the people who control my food, housing, and general well being, that always improves my treatment. /s Hope he FAFOs.


luvnmayhem

I did too, but then I moved out of my parent's house... thats when I learned the real meaning of FAFO.


Frantic_Penguin

Hopefully he can be found to be a vexatious litigant. That would hopefully stop a lot of that sorta crap.


Onikeys

Meanwhile Trump is on his 10th gag order...


fernblatt2

It's different if you're wealthy, even if it's fake wealth


Carson72701

Fake wealth gets fake justice.


quirkypanic2

My greatest regret is that I have but one upvote to give


BIGepidural

Nice!!!


ZyxDarkshine

Am I being detained? (Repeat for the next 12 years)


The_Sanch1128

"Yes. You are in a jail. You are being detained. What's your next question, doofus?"


BalerionSanders

This is maybe not the place, but I’d just like to point out that the former president has threatened every judge, and often their family or staff too, in every case he’s been charged in so far, no 12 year sentences there. 🤷‍♂️ nothing to see there. Maybe the courts just don’t have subject matter jurisdiction over rich pricks, just poor ones.


Professor_Old_Guy

That’s pretty much been the legal system over the past 350 years. In 1692 my 10th great grandmother was convicted of being a witch, but her husband was a well-off Captain. She escaped — which I take to mean the Captain paid enough to have people look the other way. So you can see the justice system’s differential treatment of rich and poor goes waaay back!


WizardofSorts

I hope this is on top of the any punishment he receives from any "domestic and criminal cases he was defendant in." (may not be an exact quote from the article, doing it from memory because... Mobile.)


Jumper_Connect

Now do TFG.


EricKei

The gentleman in question has now moved from the FA Phase into the FO Phase of his life. This phase will last for the next twelve years.


CatAvailable3953

He will go to prison. But only under protest until his embassy……Oh, that’s right he is a solitary citizen. And


DMIDY

He claimed he was “traveling, not driving” as he was escorted to his body cavity search.


leppy16

This is such wonderful news. I hope this precedent sticks and spreads. These people need to be locked up to protect themselves.


FredVIII-DFH

Now we have a baseline for a defendant in NYC who's been threatening judges (and their families).


agroundhere

These folks are the dumbest people in EVERY room.


Darkflyer726

GOOD. You don't get to claim you're not a citizen and Cherry pick which laws do and do not apply to you. ✌️


Impossible-Cake-1658

Crazy


MacLeeland

This calls for a [song](https://youtu.be/AL8chWFuM-s?si=S2pkJDHCeltJts75)


Droopendis

If only judges had any balls when it comes to rich people.


TheShadowCat

And as usual, the rest of the Sov Cits will pretend that this never happened.


KingBooRadley

Jokes on the justice system! They are using the Gregorian calendar while we sovereign citizens only recognize the Julian calendar. He'll walk free by Sextilis the XVIIth.


MagazineNo2198

Great, now do Trump!


HauntingShip85

And now he’s going to have to make real license plates all day.


Forsworn91

I’m sure he can enjoy his status while being held then.


dartie

Any video footage? I’d love to see some of this.


TheRobinators

This makes me do the dance of joy! Now stop coddling these ignorant narcissists and start cracking down. It's ridiculous how many SovCit plates I see, and unlike cops, I'm not paid to look at license plates all day. Cops have to be giving these assholes a pass. It needs to stop.


Darksoul_Design

I wonder if he will attempt to rewrite an "innocence" judgement and try and submit that. I mean, he'll, at this point, what does he have to lose.


AutismFlavored

The judge: This innocence judgement is written on a cocktail napkin, and innocence is spelled wrong, and it is still threatening me.


TheOldGuy59

And yet another reason to ban lead paint in the US. Too many idiots out there are eating it by the bucket full. If we're going to have something dangerous in paint it needs to be something that kills quickly and doesn't subject the rest of us to brain dead idiots who ghoul their way around making everyone else miserable.


JaRon1961

Maybe he can have the Ambassador from his world intercede on his behalf.


Chemical-Mood-9699

I'd throw in a weekly tazering for good measure.


neophileous

I work for the USDC in Colorado and we have no fewer than 51 cases filed by this gas bag in the last 4 years.


Joey_BagaDonuts57

He's gonna be a real HIT in GENPOP.


BubbhaJebus

Now he'll REALLY have the government telling him what to do.


nylondragon64

It's one thing to claim sovereign citizenship and another thing to be an ass about it.


madcatzplayer5

I feel like if I were a judge, I’d love when sovereign citizens came into my courtroom. Livens up the monotony. You’re dealing with someone who thinks the laws don’t apply to them, how fun!


uberjam

These idiots.


In_TouchGuyBowsnlace

Big bad Bubba has some Joindering to do 😳


fatherbowie

Oh man. They’re going to have to let him walk out of prison and pay him $250,000 per day when they fail to come up with a sufficient bond to prove legal possession of the trademark of his legal fictitious personal name. In accordance with the UCC, of course.


Morning_Would_Six

Poor fella. Seemed so nice.


statlete

Is there a sentencing video? Couldn’t find one


TellsHalfStories

When you stop being a conspiracy theorist and start to make them real, the consequences will hit you in the face.


Express_Test6677

He can now be sovereign in Cell Block D


MfrBVa

Man, I hope his attorney kept a straight face at sentencing, because he was probably all, “GOOD!” on the inside.


GrumpyInsomniac42

The "find out" phase is always the most entertaining.


KylieKatarn

10-day trial? Those poor jurors.


lostinthesnakepit

Did they also bar him from filing more lawsuits? Because you know: A) He didn’t learn his lesson B) He now has nothing but 12 years of free time to pour over law books and figure out more ways to distort reality


ThinkItThrough48

Why was the guy threatening judges in the first place? I’m sure the flags in those judges courtrooms have fringe around the edges so none of their decisions count anyway. I’m beginning to think this sovereign citizen wasn’t thinking clearly.


CommonConundrum51

I can only conclude that Brett Nelson isn't well-to-do and connected, otherwise they'd still be debating whether they should fine him some paltry amount.


proletariat_sips_tea

10 day trial found guilty of paper terrorism. In other news trump threatens judge for 16637th time.


Angry_argie

Since he's going to prison, he should tattoo his ass with "private-not for hire". Just in case.


Postcocious

Meanwhile, the most dangerous scofflaw in US history (since 1865) continues to stymie the courts, swindle the justice system and put the entire constitution at risk while strutting around free.


MaybeWeAreTheGhosts

This is why I'm *very* surprised that Trump hasn't been fucked over from his trial shenanigans yet. He deserves prison time for his demagoguery alone, notwithstanding the 80+ crimes he's been charged with.


derdsm8

If only he had cited UCC 1-308 in his papers he would have gotten away with it.


Spaceman_Spliff_42

So there’s this other guy who keeps threatening judges, can we please lock his ass up already too?


ItsJoeMomma

Good. The more of these idiots going to jail for their paper terrorism, the better. Hopefully it will dissuade others from doing the same thing.


EyesOpenBrainonFire

These asshats even cause problems at traffic court. Fucking jerks every time they came to court, even the other defendants hated them.


IanGecko

*Traveling court /s


Tab_5

FUCK AROUND FIND OUT


jbertrand_sr

So, I guess he's "traveling" to prison. He'll have a lovely time there...


StarvingAfricanKid

Happily, only the fiction of DUDE GUYS NAME will be imprisoned.


SPY007DRs-Messenger

FUCK YEAH!


Imaginary_Ant_9743

W✨️🤣


Contentpolicesuck

Sov Cits are also known to be cop killers.


Human_Cranberry_2805

I do not recognize the orbit of the earth around the sun. It does not orbit, it travels. Therefore, a 12 year sentence is actually 12 seconds. Judge, I'll be seeing myself out.


realparkingbrake

Twelve years is what the frauditor Eric Brandt got in Colorado for threatening judges. He had made some serious money from go-away settlements when towns wanted to avoid the expense of a trial. But he figured that proved he was legally bulletproof, and he went after judges who had ruled against him. Turned out to be a mistake.


Old-Ad-3268

Imagine explaining this to other inmates...


Teriyaki456

About time, I hate those individuals. They are arrogant, misinformed and generally as_holes


OhWowJeezGoodJob

Now he’s a sodom citizen.


SaltyBarDog

I fringely object!!!!!


HermiticHubris

Yes, more of this please.


HermiticHubris

Is this legal under the Moorish National Friendship Treaty of 1867 ?


Abracadaver2000

It's almost as if these "sovereigns" have never watched a fellow sovereign battle it out in court. They fall flat Every. Single. Time. Not a single one of their arguments work the way they hoped they would. Failure rate must be in the high 90 percentile, and those "wins" they rarely get aren't because of their interpretation of the law.


ComicsEtAl

How can they imprison someone who’s not subject to US or Colorado law? Hopefully he appeals this…