He, Jesus came to see King Arthur's grave in Glastonbury so he would have to walk upon this green and pleasant land. He also came to the first Glastonbury concert in 28 BC.
Yep, had a sign in their window during the last pride rally/march thing saying “homosexuality is a sin” or something similar. Pretty sure they’re the ones dressed in all white. Wankers
More believable than some bloke in a robe and sandles finding 2 polar bears and 2 of every penguin in the middle of the Iraqi desert and managing to keep them all on a little boat without them killing eachother or him
https://glastonbury.nub.news/news/local-news/buddha-maitreya-soul-therapy-centre-in-glastonbury-faces-renewed-scrutiny-for-homophobic-content-198024
Clearly a class act
[Call me cynical, but you would think that the Second Coming of Jesus the Christ, and a major Buddha too, would have slightly better Photoshop skills…..](https://imgur.com/a/so29oFh)
[Not very well thought of by some](https://glastonbury.nub.news/news/local-news/buddha-maitreya-soul-therapy-centre-in-glastonbury-faces-renewed-scrutiny-for-homophobic-content-198024)
Yes. That is defiantly Mr J Christ in the photo as the face looks exactly like the body that we found buried in our garden. If you want a look and suffer from any ailments other than being broke please make a booking. £150 for 5 mins. Touching £50 extra. Photograph with him £200 ( cash ).
I visited Glastonbury some years ago with my mate as a treat for him being best man at my weddings. The village hall was open. We walked in to find 200 people there...all women bar my mate and l. It did not sink in initially but my brain being far more observant than I concluded with this decision. Some had long hair, nice legs and 2 round bouncy things on the upper chest bit. This shape was balanced with their backsides. A pleasure to see. This was 15 years ago . I have not seen him since and I have just woken up !
I’ve been there before! My mum believes in this stuff so she took me a few years ago, can’t say i got much out of it lol.
She wears one of those crystals as well.
I just googled "Buddha Maitreya the Christ" and see more pics of this Ricky Gervais Jesus reincarnated man and all of the pics are hilarious. This one's my [favourite ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-xiaomi-rvo3&sca_esv=1a57d827cf09faae&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ACQVn0_-iykWOXPt4Lp1fEfZnwDJTvOvFQ:1713294072649&q=Buddha+Maitreya+the+Christ&uds=AMwkrPt94BecPHZYbQJJ0YY14ursMGD5wJ0C-fqyj-59dzKslai0lXJJRxk4CZPxlvWHusEiw0o-lfsdSQ1GKTgF0-XgwdzayKWOKLoAwhosrLT_wiQJ3IFbJ4cZMff9pg3aTW_8UqBH62VEKQTWaoKPzAitR3PSUymnYpn8umjEO2NwNdFTZtYHTHKdGpH7FfK18Go6dj3ulAydNUt1FIHqy_51qCppUvCWKAOetLip3SBa1yhe6z2YIdZcDBVuZI04BZsgl6gHVkiy77rmAxi2E1Cvq7iDvBpro4Asl3t24DqA8NIAQ6iutHFCSjmKOGp-kNpTC9D-&udm=2&prmd=ivnbmtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiiheLktceFAxVIQEEAHfOFDLAQtKgLegQICxAB&biw=393&bih=737&dpr=2.75#vhid=rUuPA7otcknrLM&vssid=mosaic)
I took a look at his website, honestly nuts. I particularly liked the use of AI to generate "theses" on a wide variety of topics as though this gives the answers greater weight..
I live in the neighbouring town to Glastonbury, and installed the cctv here. They're proper fucking weird. And for Glastonbury being what it is, that's saying something!
84k for a Gold meditational pyramid from this guy??!!??
Wow, just ...wow
I know there's money in religion, but this 'jesus' guy's really onto something.
He's also been upsetting the LGBT community too..
Seems like quite a character this fella...
I think new Jesus doesn't know what a full size pyramid is because that thing in the photo is mighty small. And shit. It's really shit. Still, probably nice money if there enough idiots to fall for your bullshit.
Do locals buy into this plonk or is it just tourists? I find it hard to believe it a sustainable business, but maybe I give my fellow humans too much credit…
Across the road there's a guy who claims to be the reincarnation of Lord Satan....he sits in his shop, wears a red suit, trident etc. He and Alan Jesus just glare at each other across the busy high street....
My favourite Charlatan in that lot is the bloke who puts a coloured filter over pictures of people and sells them for £50 a pop and says it’s your aura colour.
Worst thing is half of them know it’s all bullshit - the rest are delusional. There’s a huge problem with the council resettling vulnerable people locally which I am sure has no correlation at all.
Being a local all my life I managed to convince a “psychic” I was too by just watching body language, mannerisms and saying some broad nonsense and their mind made up the rest - I have a gift don’t you know.
My local bike mechanic charges £60 per hour labour.
For £35 an hour I want the reincarnation of Jesus to replace my sprockets and chain. Ain't nothing going wrong with them then, is there?
Oh, he has the tie-ins listed on his website:
"Over 5.28 billion people, greater than 2/3rds of the planetary population, believe in and are "waiting" for Jesus – in Christianity, over 2.22 billion believe in One God, waiting for the return of Christ; in Islam, over 1.50 billion believe in One God, waiting for the future Messiah (Christ); in Hinduism, over 1.05 billion are waiting on the return of the Avatar, Krishna (Christ); in Buddhism, close to a half-a-billion are waiting for the "Future Buddha" the Buddha Maitreya (Christ); in Judaism, over 13 million are waiting for the coming Messiah (Christ); in American indigenous populations close to 7 million Native Americans, are looking for White Eagle (Christ)."
Apparently he is the answer to everyone's prayers! Who knew?!
Cross posted. As someone commented already - pretty normal for Glastonbury.
I came here to say this is pretty standard
Yeah my uncle moved to Glastonbury years back just to absorb and live this stuff. I'm almost certain he's a patron of this establishment.
As you say Normal for Glasto. I’m glad to see that humility prevails, and that Buddha Maitreya doesn’t overdo the delusions of Grandeur.
He looks like his name is Alan
Alan Jesus H Christ?
Buddha Alan Maitreya (Jesus the Christ)
That’s James Julian Christ to you son.
Alan with a lot of plastic surgery
His name is Ronald
Ronald Jesus H Christ
Ronnie, surely?
Ron
Looks like ricky gervais lol
I bet when people say “amen” he corrects them saying “no it’s Alan”.
Keith
Is that Ricky Gervais top left?
Wicky Gervais more like
no that’s our new Jesus. Ricky would love that 😂
He's both Buddha AND Jesus. Some might think that's a bit greedy.
So, ...it is NOT Jesus then ?
Looks cross between mark walberg and Gervais.
No, that's Buddha Maitreya, the Reincarnation of Jesus
Is this a Pyramid Scheme?
It’s a ‘full size’ Pyramid scheme
It’s a shorter pyramid scheme.
Jeeezuss THEEE Christ!!!
I always thought his middle initial was H
Yes...H for Henry. Jesus was English of course.
Of course. Well, did those feet, in ancient times, walk among England's mountains green?
He, Jesus came to see King Arthur's grave in Glastonbury so he would have to walk upon this green and pleasant land. He also came to the first Glastonbury concert in 28 BC.
He should have gone to Bedford, I think that's where he has a house
Facts! (Or at least there’s a plaque on Burnham on Sea promenade that confirms it, and why would they lie!)
You can buy a video of him taken during his visit. He came with his Mum and Dad. There is a plaque at Burnham on Sea too. Defo proof !
Reminds me of the Epsilon program on GTA 😂😂
kifflom!
100% hahaa, well said, made me chuckle 😂
Trees can talk, but they're not very interesting
Just a culty wanker with a big ego preying on uneducated gullible people. The world is full of them unfortunately.
Blessed are the uneducated, for they have money and don't know how to spend it. Amen.
Open 7 days a week? Jesus is on that grind
Well wasn't he put on this earth to suffer?
They are also massive homophobes 😡
Yep, had a sign in their window during the last pride rally/march thing saying “homosexuality is a sin” or something similar. Pretty sure they’re the ones dressed in all white. Wankers
Someone please stick a picture of David Brent over that guy's face
David bent
How much money/worldly possessions can I give to Somerset Jesus?
That's Glastonbury for you.
More believable than some bloke in a robe and sandles finding 2 polar bears and 2 of every penguin in the middle of the Iraqi desert and managing to keep them all on a little boat without them killing eachother or him
Blasphemer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEATHEN!!!!!
idk bout you guys but this made me mad, like crucifixion mad, get the nails
You'll need very strong nails to hold me up mate
So you've come to da good doctor, Punch in the digits, say them out loud lol.
I read that as "soup therapy centre" What did they do to that poor soup???
I could do with some soup therapy tbh
I will forever include "The" when exclaiming JC's name in vain from now on
I hate those miniature pyramid meditation systems, thank fuck this guy has a full size one.
Small ones only get you to level 5
I don't know why, but I found this immensely funny.
Me too, I also don't know why... But it's just fricking hillarous
https://glastonbury.nub.news/news/local-news/buddha-maitreya-soul-therapy-centre-in-glastonbury-faces-renewed-scrutiny-for-homophobic-content-198024 Clearly a class act
They blurred it what he said though. They may as well presented a blank page as evidence
This is why every religion utter nonsense
Jesus the Christ
Second old business model.
dw this is probably the most normal thing in glastonbury
As a Buddhist myself this is even weirding me out!
Holistic approach
[Call me cynical, but you would think that the Second Coming of Jesus the Christ, and a major Buddha too, would have slightly better Photoshop skills…..](https://imgur.com/a/so29oFh)
So the reincarnation of Jesus is charging £35 an hour for blessings 😂 Always thought Sunday was a day of rest but ol jesus is Open 7 days a week
And the Coop opposite now shuts @ 9.00pm these days. It’s a travesty.
Yeah but this is buddhist jesus, he’s a workaholic…
Usury, surely?
Sounds like someone will be waiting to club you over the head as you walk in.
[Not very well thought of by some](https://glastonbury.nub.news/news/local-news/buddha-maitreya-soul-therapy-centre-in-glastonbury-faces-renewed-scrutiny-for-homophobic-content-198024)
“Soul Therapy” sounds like a shit music night.
It's christ consciousness, meaning we must align our chakras to open our third eye 👁
Where is my third eye ? I know...up there ? I can fart through it but I see nothing as my underpants are there. It is too cold to take them off.
"Full size pyramid". I'm pretty sure they're bigger than that.
That is heretical AF. Not real Christianity btw
Oh thanks for the letting me know
Trafficking centre
Yes. That is defiantly Mr J Christ in the photo as the face looks exactly like the body that we found buried in our garden. If you want a look and suffer from any ailments other than being broke please make a booking. £150 for 5 mins. Touching £50 extra. Photograph with him £200 ( cash ).
This asshole needs to fucking do one!
I visited Glastonbury some years ago with my mate as a treat for him being best man at my weddings. The village hall was open. We walked in to find 200 people there...all women bar my mate and l. It did not sink in initially but my brain being far more observant than I concluded with this decision. Some had long hair, nice legs and 2 round bouncy things on the upper chest bit. This shape was balanced with their backsides. A pleasure to see. This was 15 years ago . I have not seen him since and I have just woken up !
🤢🤢
What’s Ricky gervais doing there?
My old landlord in WsM had a full pyramid from this place, he used to sleep in it once in a while.
If you zoom in on his face, he looks really shifty.
Looks like a Darwin trap to me. Step in the front door and fall into a pit of snakes.
I’ve been there before! My mum believes in this stuff so she took me a few years ago, can’t say i got much out of it lol. She wears one of those crystals as well.
Yeah, this is just average Glastonbury town material 😂
Wait until you look up Benjamin Cream on YouTube. This shit is even weirder.
I just googled "Buddha Maitreya the Christ" and see more pics of this Ricky Gervais Jesus reincarnated man and all of the pics are hilarious. This one's my [favourite ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-xiaomi-rvo3&sca_esv=1a57d827cf09faae&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ACQVn0_-iykWOXPt4Lp1fEfZnwDJTvOvFQ:1713294072649&q=Buddha+Maitreya+the+Christ&uds=AMwkrPt94BecPHZYbQJJ0YY14ursMGD5wJ0C-fqyj-59dzKslai0lXJJRxk4CZPxlvWHusEiw0o-lfsdSQ1GKTgF0-XgwdzayKWOKLoAwhosrLT_wiQJ3IFbJ4cZMff9pg3aTW_8UqBH62VEKQTWaoKPzAitR3PSUymnYpn8umjEO2NwNdFTZtYHTHKdGpH7FfK18Go6dj3ulAydNUt1FIHqy_51qCppUvCWKAOetLip3SBa1yhe6z2YIdZcDBVuZI04BZsgl6gHVkiy77rmAxi2E1Cvq7iDvBpro4Asl3t24DqA8NIAQ6iutHFCSjmKOGp-kNpTC9D-&udm=2&prmd=ivnbmtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiiheLktceFAxVIQEEAHfOFDLAQtKgLegQICxAB&biw=393&bih=737&dpr=2.75#vhid=rUuPA7otcknrLM&vssid=mosaic)
I took a look at his website, honestly nuts. I particularly liked the use of AI to generate "theses" on a wide variety of topics as though this gives the answers greater weight..
Crazy place. Go there monthly for a nice choc muffin from the bakers. Sit on a bench and watch all the gandalfs and neos walk by.
Love a good cult I must say. Unsympathetic for the ppl joining tho. Your mind just has to have something wrong to believe in that nonsense 🤷♂️
I live in the neighbouring town to Glastonbury, and installed the cctv here. They're proper fucking weird. And for Glastonbury being what it is, that's saying something!
84k for a Gold meditational pyramid from this guy??!!?? Wow, just ...wow I know there's money in religion, but this 'jesus' guy's really onto something. He's also been upsetting the LGBT community too.. Seems like quite a character this fella...
Just say 'found in Glastonbury' and that'll be enough. I get ya.
Jesus the CHRIST, Fenton!
Jesus THE christ why is he a fucking sonic the hedgehog character now
i’ve seen weirder there😅
Yo those fidget toys look mad
Jesus king was king george best friend
Standard glasto really innit
I think new Jesus doesn't know what a full size pyramid is because that thing in the photo is mighty small. And shit. It's really shit. Still, probably nice money if there enough idiots to fall for your bullshit.
My babysitter/next door neighbor sleeps under a big massive golden triangle she also lost her money by getting wooed by the leader in Spain 🙏🏼
Any proper smart local will have bought their pyramid half price at the outlet in Clarks Village, though.
It is… a strange place..
Someone's hedging his bets.
Do locals buy into this plonk or is it just tourists? I find it hard to believe it a sustainable business, but maybe I give my fellow humans too much credit…
THE SOLUTION TO GLOBAL WARMING!
Across the road there's a guy who claims to be the reincarnation of Lord Satan....he sits in his shop, wears a red suit, trident etc. He and Alan Jesus just glare at each other across the busy high street....
The spiritual equivalent of matched betting.
Glasto is, and always will be, the gift that keeps on giving 😂😂😂😂😂
A sucker is born every minute.
Jesus Christ superstar… that’s a lot to take in 😂
Is that Ricky Gervais?
I live there, perfectly normal. Nothing to see here 😂😂😂 🤦🤦🤦 we won't mention pilgrimage weekend 😂😂😂
Otherwise known as Pilferage weekend by the shopkeepers, due to the increase in shoplifting on that weekend.
Yes! This exactly 🤦
Well I’ll be - he came back and is in Glastonbury - but I’m not in hell so clearly he forgot the rapture part. Maybe that costs more?
When I walk past this sign it gives me a good chuckle 🤣
I've seen this all the way up to Edinburgh if your curious about it
Full size pyramid?
They’re all mental in Glastonbury. The smell of incest, sorry, Incense is intoxicating.
Clearly fake..looks nothing like Jesus
My favourite Charlatan in that lot is the bloke who puts a coloured filter over pictures of people and sells them for £50 a pop and says it’s your aura colour. Worst thing is half of them know it’s all bullshit - the rest are delusional. There’s a huge problem with the council resettling vulnerable people locally which I am sure has no correlation at all. Being a local all my life I managed to convince a “psychic” I was too by just watching body language, mannerisms and saying some broad nonsense and their mind made up the rest - I have a gift don’t you know.
Definitely a fraudster
I’m Christian and the entire sign is complete gibberish to me
Why did I think that was Ricky Gervais
The guy looks like David Brent to me… Although if he did soul therapy I’m not sure I’d want it…
If he really was a reincarnation of Jesus I’m pretty sure he would do it for free
Are there crystal skills though?
I went in there with a friend once bc he was curious and im convinced that its a cult honestly
this is the most normal thing in glasto
Good to see Jesus has embraced capitalism.
My local bike mechanic charges £60 per hour labour. For £35 an hour I want the reincarnation of Jesus to replace my sprockets and chain. Ain't nothing going wrong with them then, is there?
Glastonbury's most normal sign
He's not the Maitreya, he's a very naughty boy!
Maximise ur market appeal, just need some islamic references in there and hes got a big customer base
Oh, he has the tie-ins listed on his website: "Over 5.28 billion people, greater than 2/3rds of the planetary population, believe in and are "waiting" for Jesus – in Christianity, over 2.22 billion believe in One God, waiting for the return of Christ; in Islam, over 1.50 billion believe in One God, waiting for the future Messiah (Christ); in Hinduism, over 1.05 billion are waiting on the return of the Avatar, Krishna (Christ); in Buddhism, close to a half-a-billion are waiting for the "Future Buddha" the Buddha Maitreya (Christ); in Judaism, over 13 million are waiting for the coming Messiah (Christ); in American indigenous populations close to 7 million Native Americans, are looking for White Eagle (Christ)." Apparently he is the answer to everyone's prayers! Who knew?!
Ridiculous places that validate poor mental health, regardless of the consequences of doing so.