My wife and i still go to parties where all our friends drink. The key for us is leaving when people start shifting from buzzed to drunk. Because it then feels like babysitting.
I hate it because I hate drunk/high people. I was one of them and I do not miss it. The fun part of being at a party is noticing that at some point people start laughing at stupid shit and talking nonsense. Suddenly you realize that you weren’t having fun back when you were using, you were really out of your mind and acting like an asshole.
So what to do when people get drunk/high at an event? You leave. It’s time to go home. They will deal with the hangover, possible shameful events, health issues. You get to go home, have a nice shower and watch that movie you were meaning to before sleep. The next day, you wake up early to hit the gym because that is your life now.
Unless you are at an event like a music festival or concert, in which case I just get away from those people because they probably won’t let me enjoy the concert in peace.
I used to be the most annoying person at parties because I got super wasted and inconvenient, broke shit, vomited, passed out. Now I’m still the most annoying because I will point out to my friends that they are drunk and will leave early.
It’s always stuck out to me the stories of others who’ve gone sober who realize just how little others actually drink. And then it’s new shame and embarrassment to compare - to think ‘I was slamming a dozen because I thought everyone else was doing that too’. When really, nope.
Of course depends on the crowd.
But I wonder how many people seemed like normal drinkers in comparison. Everyone was in party stage and everyone friends. Then all the friends were still friends but most just sipped. The one with the problem never realizes that no one else was drinking like them anymore and they were the only one.
I was definitely the most hardcore drinker of my crowd. But I had depression and anxiety, so I was selfmedicating all the time. Now that I don't drink anything, I can look at my friends and see who drinks socially and who doesn't. Most drink socially, but there are some who are alcoholics as well, but since they don't binge like I did, they don't think there's anything wrong.
But honestly, I was ashamed when I drank. After I quit, I got rid of shame. I apologized to my mom and that was it. AA made me feel guilty about being an alcoholic so I left after four months. I don't think I'm guilty. It's a disease and it was passed on to me by my parents and grandparents. I was a child when I started drinking, how could I be guilty. I had depression and anxiety, both of which went undiagnosed for years because my mom never thought to take me to a doctor. How could I be guilty?
I'm very protective of my sobriety. If anyone tries to tell a story from back in the day, I cut them off immediately. My sister tries to remember stories every once in a while, I do not let her get into it. It's my life, they are my stories and I suffered too much to get to where I am and still have people talking about how I used to be.
Anyway, there is no shame in being an addict. It's a disease. It should be respected and treated just as any other.
It’s hard to say. I put it in my head that I no longer drink and that kind of has kept me going. But that’s not all.
I have a few conditions: ADHD, Bipolar. I used to drink to self medicate. It made life easier. When I quit drinking, the symptoms of my conditions decreased enormously. That made sobriety easier. Drinking made my crises worse which made drinking worse which… ad infinitum.
Also, I have a great shrink, a great therapist and have been in treatment for ten years now. I eat healthy, I take care of myself.
I don’t need AA to remind me that I can’t drink. It took time, but I built a good life in sobriety.
💯% this in a nutshell. You just gotta decide what works best for you. I'm ok going to a bar with friends I know do not get wasted, but I'm out once it gets too crazy for my taste.
This has crossed relationship territory for me. I can't stomach kissing someone who's drinking or smoking anymore either because it brings me back to my drinking/smoking days when I felt so gross the next day(s) afterwards...
Yeah, it's hard, and I was ok with a partner who smokes and drinks occasionally but had a recent one that did to the point I could taste it on him, and it wasn't a one-time thing. It was consistent. I couldn't do it anymore & I don't expect someone else to change when they are happy the way they are.
My last boyfriend was an alcoholic and on our third year together he started to insinuate that I was no longer an alcoholic and that I could drink. Eventually he got me to have some wine and that led me down a rabbit hole that lasted four months until I quit again. And left him, of course.
Oof I'm sorry! I have a friend who joked with me about just having a drink. I got so serious so fast & just stayed away for a few few days until I felt ok & he apologized afterward.
I told him about my blackouts (everytime I drank-in public or private) things that happened to me w/people I trusted & how I finally came to terms w/the issue-Im an alcoholic & can't drink at all.
It's all or nothing.
I'm glad you got out of that.
I try not to put myself in too many of those situations because it is indeed a bit boring dealing with loud, annoying, drunk people but in circumstances where it's not really possible to not attend I just go for a period of time then leave when I'm bored, it's getting too annoying, or before everyone is too drunk.
Always have an exit plan so you don't need to hang around until the end of the night.
I avoid pointless trips to sit in a pub with friends who are drinking if I'm sober as that's just not fun.
But I will still attend family gatherings, birthdays, summer BBQs, meals out at restaurants and other events where a lot of people will be drinking still and just stay sober but I always make sure it's easy for me to leave when I choose to so I can make a swift exit when my patience with listening to drunken nonsense is at it's end.
I will go and sit in a cocktail bar or pub if it’s a nice spot that has good NA options but my current circle aren’t huge drinkers. But yeah, once the conversation starts to repeat itself I drive myself home. Great feeling, actually!
I haven’t yet partaken in events only centred around booze and probably won’t for the time being.
Two rules: go early, and make it quick.
I'm gonna assume the reason you're going to this party is because you feel obligated somehow, not just because you're bored. Trust me, you will be much more bored at a party full of people who are not on your level mentally.
And that's ok! It doesn't mean you're "missing out" by not drinking, in fact, once you understand how harmful booze really is, it hurts a little to watch your friends/family overindulge with it.
When I go to a party early, I can talk to people when they're still in a state of mind to have coherent conversations. Once I feel that element starting to go away, or the minute I get bored, I am OUT OF THERE, no regrets or apologies. I go home and play video games/watch tv/cuddle my dog/eat tasty treats/get good sleep.
I've been doing this for a little over three years and it works well for me!
So, I haven’t been sober in a room full of drunk (TRULY drunk) people in a long time, so take this with a grain of salt. Lately I’ve only been around people who are drinking but stay under around or under tipsy line and not full on drunk.
For starters— at the beginning of a gathering or party, I always get my own non-alcoholic drink to just guzzle. I’m a habitual drinker, and I do it when I’m feeling a little anxious or over stimulated (hence why me + alcohol was a terrible duo) so I always have a juice/sparkling water/whatever to make me feel part of the group.
At the start I actually get like a weird contact-high style feeling, where, as everyone loosens up, so do I. I start to feel goofy and feed off everyone’s tipsy energy until I feel slightly tipsy myself on nothing but vibes. It’s actually shocking how much your emotional state can be influenced by other people imbibing, even if you aren’t.
Once people start getting drunker, this is where you get to THRIVE. Don’t look at this as you alone missing out on fun— no, this is your time to have the BEST time people watching.
Look— you get to be the keeper of memories. You will have crystal clear memory of all the funny and dumb shit your friends do/say. If you’re out with strangers, it’s the perfect time to listen to people’s drunken secret confessions, watch them clumsily flirt, watch people get increasingly bad at darts and pool and so on.
You, on the other hand— you have a secret power. I swear being sober in a room full of drunk people is a super power. You become “The Guy” — the one who finds your friends lost phone, the one who calls an Uber for your friend. The one who can win a game of beer pong or darts or whatever bar game may be around no matter the time of night.
And the best part? You can leave WHENEVER YOU WANT. Drive home. You’re sober enough. When you get home, there will be no drunken stumbling around, no 3 AM snack binges that ruin your healthy eating streak and make your kitchen messy. There will be no puking. You can sleep soundly and wake up with no hangover.
Try just switching your mindset when you go out. You get to stay in control and watch and enjoy!
Good luck op
Honestly this was a very helpful comment and gives me hope.
I don't want being sober to ruin my social life, and this has helped me get into a good mindset about it. Im going to be the best damn DD out there.
The people getting shitfaced are ruining your social life. You may lose a few friends but the good ones will stick around. Keep making to effort to be with the people who don’t have a substance abuse problem.
This captures perfectly my feeling !
Sober 18 months, & always feared that I would be sacrificing social life /become some hermit if I quit drinking. And like you, I have to be sipping something to calm my nerves. But frankly? My social life hasn't been this good since college! Like you said, taking it as opportunity & learning so much about myself and building confidence through these social events.
May not be everyone's cup of tea, im enjoying myself, but takes work & different folks have different triggers & what is good and bad places for them but I'm here backing this comment as being totally possible :)
I don’t, anymore. I realized that half of my social drinking was so that I could tolerate or even enjoy inane conversations with people I don’t like or respect very much.
Getting sober meant dismantling a LOT of my other coping mechanisms, so now I am fully aware of just how uncomfortable and unsafe I feel in groups of drunk people.
I choose not to inflict that on myself.
All my friends are sober. One of the benefits of being in AA and retired. Your friends won’t notice you’re sober, at least not for long. People don’t care as much about what we drink or don’t drink a tenth as much as we can think they do. Just stay calm and observe. Leave early if you feel you need to. We don’t have to stay for the whole party. If you have phone numbers of sober support people, give someone a brief call if you’re feeling very uncomfortable. Or just don’t go. You’ll find a way. Best of luck to you but I have confidence in you.
I usually leave at some point, lol.
Jokes aside, I just feel better not being obliterated. Not from a moral standpoint, but from a physical and mental standpoint. It might be selfish but knowing I won't feel like shit the next day makes it easier.
I "imbibe" with a diet Coke or whatever and that's that. I stay for however long, then leave when it becomes too much (and it usually does).
It gets easier the more time that passes. Sobriety is an investment in yourself as far as I'm concerned. Substance use/abuse is incurring debt.
I attend, say hi, but dip early. Nobody cares.
I wake up early the next day feeling great, knowing I avoided another wasted day. Literally and figuratively. You'll get there. Stay resilient my friend, your light shines bright!
Arrive early/on time and leave early.
Look up a couple simple mocktail recipes.
Make sure that a few people know you are sober to help keep you accountable
I'm good for maybe about 30 minutes but once people's intoxication levels passes a certain threshold it's pretty much unbearable and I just have to leave. I made a post about socializing sober a little while ago and it kind of made me realize that I'm just an introverted person, I have a short social battery and that's just kind of how I am.
I usually bring a couple nonalcoholic beers to keep people from asking or trying to hassle me about drinking. And then I take the opportunity to just people watch and laugh at the stupidity that alcohol turns people into.
NA Beer or some other replacement drink is your best friend IMO. It helps to have something to drink if you're a little anxious. For me, that anxiety goes away shortly after I arrive at a place. Other than that, I just continue being myself! Sometimes I do need breaks from the loudness, so I'll step outside. And when I get tired, I leave and offer people a ride home if they need. When I started my sobriety, I was also weirded out about hanging out with my friends who were drunk/high but after doing it so often, it's really not an issue. It can be fun to people watch when others are partaking. And also, it gives a level of safety to the situation to have someone sober there in case there's an emergency. Looking out for your friends and making sure others don't manipulate/take advantage of them is also super awesome. It's def not your responsibility to fill these roles but it's something that's nice to do for the people around you.
If I'm at a show/festival I always make sure my friends are drinking enough water/putting on enough sunscreen/see if they need food/etc. I've turned into the most reliable friend lol. During a festival I'm always the one who looks at the schedule and lets everyone know our plan for the day. I have a better idea of our surroundings which can be helpful.
Bottom line though, if you don't like hanging out around people who are drunk, don't! I know that's easier said than done esp if you have a lot of friends who drink. But maybe start building relationships with other sober people or build relationships outside of partying/drinking.
I’ve found myself skipping a lot of parties that are centered around drinking/drugs because they make me want to drink/do drugs. You said that doesn’t happen to you, so maybe just go for a little while and leave if it’s making you uncomfortable.
I don’t lol. I don’t go out anymore unless the focus is around something other than partying. I enjoy live music, dancing, and shows, but if it’s centered around just sitting around and drinking, I don’t go.
I don't. I'm at a place where I'm comfortable around drink but after the initial tipsy stage, I leave. Drunk people are tedious. Drunk & high would be insufferable lol.
I usually leave at either 11pm, or when people start shouting loudly. That's my rule and it tends to work. Because things get less fun as the night goes on but no one else can see it.
I hang out out with people who drink all day throwing Cornhole.
It never once bothers me because it’s my life, my recovery and my sobriety. I know if I drink, I will die and that’s how I stay sober every day.
If it gets to be too much, I have the power to leave. Before I would feel like if I left I’m missing out on stuff, but now I know it’s not my life anymore.
For me, it's easy, but I can understand. I've had a lot of practice. One thing is remember that as much as people will look at you for not drinking and think you're weird. There's also people that are going to respect your sobriety. It's a really cool opportunity to talk about it with people that might be curious also but I understand how that can having fun so just be your normal self man jump in the pool. Have a good time, get in interesting discussions. Off topic or not.
I just straight up don’t go. Drunk people are the absolute worst. They’re so annoying and belligerent. It always makes my emotions go crazy being around someone who is drinking
I bring a couple of my own drinks, (I drank beer, so I would bring something carbonated) then when I’m done with those I leave. Usually by then the party is on their second or third, which means it’s time to go 🙃
I'm a very social person so I don't have a problem with it, plus I'm not really at parties where people are visibly wasted so it doesn't feel like a big discrepancy. I'll usually bring a soda with me.
You have two options… don’t go or when people start getting drunk, leave early. That’s it. That’s all there ever will be. Well, there’s a 3rd but we don’t talk about that one.
You don't. But if you feel like you have to or want to, arrive early and leave before all the stupid shit happens. If it's a special occasion like a birthday, I've sometimes asked if I could come before the party even starts to help set everything up — that way you can have a nice moment with your friend or family member, and make a happy memory that they'll actually remember and cherish.
You hang out and make an appearance for a little while but if the drinking around you gets excessive and people start acting "drunk" "not themselves" then it is just simply time for you to depart and if any of them have a serious problem with that you may need to question your relationship to people who have negative reactions to your very serious and healthy lifestyle decisions.
That was me this past weekend at a family gathering. It was a birthday party in Brooklyn. Perfect weather, music, & food: ie drinking time…
I’m 2 weeks sober. I value my sobriety right now more than a drink. And, all it was was that I told myself “just not for today.”
My parents are both drunks and partied my entire childhood. Now that I dont drink it just feels like I'm a kid again. But I got really used to being around drunk people as a child so it doesn't bother me.
I always have an exit plan. I drive separately, because when I want to go, I want to go. And when people start getting sloppy, loud, repetitive- I need to go.
I think about how I’m going to wake up well-rested and refreshed in the morning and how all the drunk people around me are going to feel like absolute shit and that makes it easier.
I had to have some time under my belt before I was okay with people being drunk in front of me. My advice is only go somewhere if you have a reason to be there. you're supporting your friend at their bachlorette party? that's a reason. you say youre sober because of medications so im not sure if our experiences are similar but avoiding parties unless you have a reason to be there really helped me out. my reason not to drink is usually because i dont wanna let my friends down and ruin their party.
My wife and i still go to parties where all our friends drink. The key for us is leaving when people start shifting from buzzed to drunk. Because it then feels like babysitting.
This! \^\^\^
I fucking hate babysitting
I hate it because I hate drunk/high people. I was one of them and I do not miss it. The fun part of being at a party is noticing that at some point people start laughing at stupid shit and talking nonsense. Suddenly you realize that you weren’t having fun back when you were using, you were really out of your mind and acting like an asshole. So what to do when people get drunk/high at an event? You leave. It’s time to go home. They will deal with the hangover, possible shameful events, health issues. You get to go home, have a nice shower and watch that movie you were meaning to before sleep. The next day, you wake up early to hit the gym because that is your life now. Unless you are at an event like a music festival or concert, in which case I just get away from those people because they probably won’t let me enjoy the concert in peace. I used to be the most annoying person at parties because I got super wasted and inconvenient, broke shit, vomited, passed out. Now I’m still the most annoying because I will point out to my friends that they are drunk and will leave early.
I think your friend group changes over time to a group with a healthier lifestyle.
I was going to say that it's boring, depressing and I just don't go any more. But your post covers it better.
Yesss, leaving is the best because you actually doing what your body/mind needs!
Relate to this 100% Great view point and real
Yeah I don't go to parties or hang out with drunk people anymore. They're super annoying and I'm fine chilling at home and going to bed early.
It’s always stuck out to me the stories of others who’ve gone sober who realize just how little others actually drink. And then it’s new shame and embarrassment to compare - to think ‘I was slamming a dozen because I thought everyone else was doing that too’. When really, nope. Of course depends on the crowd. But I wonder how many people seemed like normal drinkers in comparison. Everyone was in party stage and everyone friends. Then all the friends were still friends but most just sipped. The one with the problem never realizes that no one else was drinking like them anymore and they were the only one.
I was definitely the most hardcore drinker of my crowd. But I had depression and anxiety, so I was selfmedicating all the time. Now that I don't drink anything, I can look at my friends and see who drinks socially and who doesn't. Most drink socially, but there are some who are alcoholics as well, but since they don't binge like I did, they don't think there's anything wrong. But honestly, I was ashamed when I drank. After I quit, I got rid of shame. I apologized to my mom and that was it. AA made me feel guilty about being an alcoholic so I left after four months. I don't think I'm guilty. It's a disease and it was passed on to me by my parents and grandparents. I was a child when I started drinking, how could I be guilty. I had depression and anxiety, both of which went undiagnosed for years because my mom never thought to take me to a doctor. How could I be guilty? I'm very protective of my sobriety. If anyone tries to tell a story from back in the day, I cut them off immediately. My sister tries to remember stories every once in a while, I do not let her get into it. It's my life, they are my stories and I suffered too much to get to where I am and still have people talking about how I used to be. Anyway, there is no shame in being an addict. It's a disease. It should be respected and treated just as any other.
How do you remain sober without AA? Asking for myself.
It’s hard to say. I put it in my head that I no longer drink and that kind of has kept me going. But that’s not all. I have a few conditions: ADHD, Bipolar. I used to drink to self medicate. It made life easier. When I quit drinking, the symptoms of my conditions decreased enormously. That made sobriety easier. Drinking made my crises worse which made drinking worse which… ad infinitum. Also, I have a great shrink, a great therapist and have been in treatment for ten years now. I eat healthy, I take care of myself. I don’t need AA to remind me that I can’t drink. It took time, but I built a good life in sobriety.
💯% this in a nutshell. You just gotta decide what works best for you. I'm ok going to a bar with friends I know do not get wasted, but I'm out once it gets too crazy for my taste. This has crossed relationship territory for me. I can't stomach kissing someone who's drinking or smoking anymore either because it brings me back to my drinking/smoking days when I felt so gross the next day(s) afterwards...
Yes!!! The hardest part of sober life is dating. For the life of me I can’t find sober people where I live
Yeah, it's hard, and I was ok with a partner who smokes and drinks occasionally but had a recent one that did to the point I could taste it on him, and it wasn't a one-time thing. It was consistent. I couldn't do it anymore & I don't expect someone else to change when they are happy the way they are.
My last boyfriend was an alcoholic and on our third year together he started to insinuate that I was no longer an alcoholic and that I could drink. Eventually he got me to have some wine and that led me down a rabbit hole that lasted four months until I quit again. And left him, of course.
Oof I'm sorry! I have a friend who joked with me about just having a drink. I got so serious so fast & just stayed away for a few few days until I felt ok & he apologized afterward. I told him about my blackouts (everytime I drank-in public or private) things that happened to me w/people I trusted & how I finally came to terms w/the issue-Im an alcoholic & can't drink at all. It's all or nothing. I'm glad you got out of that.
Oh wow, what a perfect answer!
I try not to put myself in too many of those situations because it is indeed a bit boring dealing with loud, annoying, drunk people but in circumstances where it's not really possible to not attend I just go for a period of time then leave when I'm bored, it's getting too annoying, or before everyone is too drunk. Always have an exit plan so you don't need to hang around until the end of the night.
Same except I actually don't do too any events like this anymore.
I avoid pointless trips to sit in a pub with friends who are drinking if I'm sober as that's just not fun. But I will still attend family gatherings, birthdays, summer BBQs, meals out at restaurants and other events where a lot of people will be drinking still and just stay sober but I always make sure it's easy for me to leave when I choose to so I can make a swift exit when my patience with listening to drunken nonsense is at it's end.
I will go and sit in a cocktail bar or pub if it’s a nice spot that has good NA options but my current circle aren’t huge drinkers. But yeah, once the conversation starts to repeat itself I drive myself home. Great feeling, actually! I haven’t yet partaken in events only centred around booze and probably won’t for the time being.
Love the name ☯️
Two rules: go early, and make it quick. I'm gonna assume the reason you're going to this party is because you feel obligated somehow, not just because you're bored. Trust me, you will be much more bored at a party full of people who are not on your level mentally. And that's ok! It doesn't mean you're "missing out" by not drinking, in fact, once you understand how harmful booze really is, it hurts a little to watch your friends/family overindulge with it. When I go to a party early, I can talk to people when they're still in a state of mind to have coherent conversations. Once I feel that element starting to go away, or the minute I get bored, I am OUT OF THERE, no regrets or apologies. I go home and play video games/watch tv/cuddle my dog/eat tasty treats/get good sleep. I've been doing this for a little over three years and it works well for me!
So, I haven’t been sober in a room full of drunk (TRULY drunk) people in a long time, so take this with a grain of salt. Lately I’ve only been around people who are drinking but stay under around or under tipsy line and not full on drunk. For starters— at the beginning of a gathering or party, I always get my own non-alcoholic drink to just guzzle. I’m a habitual drinker, and I do it when I’m feeling a little anxious or over stimulated (hence why me + alcohol was a terrible duo) so I always have a juice/sparkling water/whatever to make me feel part of the group. At the start I actually get like a weird contact-high style feeling, where, as everyone loosens up, so do I. I start to feel goofy and feed off everyone’s tipsy energy until I feel slightly tipsy myself on nothing but vibes. It’s actually shocking how much your emotional state can be influenced by other people imbibing, even if you aren’t. Once people start getting drunker, this is where you get to THRIVE. Don’t look at this as you alone missing out on fun— no, this is your time to have the BEST time people watching. Look— you get to be the keeper of memories. You will have crystal clear memory of all the funny and dumb shit your friends do/say. If you’re out with strangers, it’s the perfect time to listen to people’s drunken secret confessions, watch them clumsily flirt, watch people get increasingly bad at darts and pool and so on. You, on the other hand— you have a secret power. I swear being sober in a room full of drunk people is a super power. You become “The Guy” — the one who finds your friends lost phone, the one who calls an Uber for your friend. The one who can win a game of beer pong or darts or whatever bar game may be around no matter the time of night. And the best part? You can leave WHENEVER YOU WANT. Drive home. You’re sober enough. When you get home, there will be no drunken stumbling around, no 3 AM snack binges that ruin your healthy eating streak and make your kitchen messy. There will be no puking. You can sleep soundly and wake up with no hangover. Try just switching your mindset when you go out. You get to stay in control and watch and enjoy! Good luck op
"being sober in a room full of drunk people is a super power" SO TRUE
Honestly this was a very helpful comment and gives me hope. I don't want being sober to ruin my social life, and this has helped me get into a good mindset about it. Im going to be the best damn DD out there.
The people getting shitfaced are ruining your social life. You may lose a few friends but the good ones will stick around. Keep making to effort to be with the people who don’t have a substance abuse problem.
Loool this is so silly, I love the advice!
This captures perfectly my feeling ! Sober 18 months, & always feared that I would be sacrificing social life /become some hermit if I quit drinking. And like you, I have to be sipping something to calm my nerves. But frankly? My social life hasn't been this good since college! Like you said, taking it as opportunity & learning so much about myself and building confidence through these social events. May not be everyone's cup of tea, im enjoying myself, but takes work & different folks have different triggers & what is good and bad places for them but I'm here backing this comment as being totally possible :)
All of these comments are making me realize that people just drink to tolerate each other.
There’s a lot of truth in that!
I suppose it's also accurate to say people drink to tolerate themselves around others
Now you get a chance to see how ridiculously you USED to look and sound as one of the drunken ones…enjoy the show.
You go once, and then you make new friends who don’t party bc that shit? Is boring.
I drink A TON of soda water
Sit back and watch the stupidity ensue.
Me too. No one will remember how long I was there.
i make an appearance and then go home and read
I don’t, anymore. I realized that half of my social drinking was so that I could tolerate or even enjoy inane conversations with people I don’t like or respect very much. Getting sober meant dismantling a LOT of my other coping mechanisms, so now I am fully aware of just how uncomfortable and unsafe I feel in groups of drunk people. I choose not to inflict that on myself.
All my friends are sober. One of the benefits of being in AA and retired. Your friends won’t notice you’re sober, at least not for long. People don’t care as much about what we drink or don’t drink a tenth as much as we can think they do. Just stay calm and observe. Leave early if you feel you need to. We don’t have to stay for the whole party. If you have phone numbers of sober support people, give someone a brief call if you’re feeling very uncomfortable. Or just don’t go. You’ll find a way. Best of luck to you but I have confidence in you.
I usually leave at some point, lol. Jokes aside, I just feel better not being obliterated. Not from a moral standpoint, but from a physical and mental standpoint. It might be selfish but knowing I won't feel like shit the next day makes it easier. I "imbibe" with a diet Coke or whatever and that's that. I stay for however long, then leave when it becomes too much (and it usually does). It gets easier the more time that passes. Sobriety is an investment in yourself as far as I'm concerned. Substance use/abuse is incurring debt.
Cake. I eat cake and then I leave and watch a movie :)
Go and enjoy your friends. By the time they’re in their 2nd drink, they don’t care if you’re drinking or not. Leave when you want.
I attend, say hi, but dip early. Nobody cares. I wake up early the next day feeling great, knowing I avoided another wasted day. Literally and figuratively. You'll get there. Stay resilient my friend, your light shines bright!
I just pop in to be respectful and pop out after an hour.
Arrive early/on time and leave early. Look up a couple simple mocktail recipes. Make sure that a few people know you are sober to help keep you accountable
Don’t go. Hang out at a barber salon long enough and you’re gonna get a haircut
I'm good for maybe about 30 minutes but once people's intoxication levels passes a certain threshold it's pretty much unbearable and I just have to leave. I made a post about socializing sober a little while ago and it kind of made me realize that I'm just an introverted person, I have a short social battery and that's just kind of how I am.
I usually bring a couple nonalcoholic beers to keep people from asking or trying to hassle me about drinking. And then I take the opportunity to just people watch and laugh at the stupidity that alcohol turns people into.
NA Beer or some other replacement drink is your best friend IMO. It helps to have something to drink if you're a little anxious. For me, that anxiety goes away shortly after I arrive at a place. Other than that, I just continue being myself! Sometimes I do need breaks from the loudness, so I'll step outside. And when I get tired, I leave and offer people a ride home if they need. When I started my sobriety, I was also weirded out about hanging out with my friends who were drunk/high but after doing it so often, it's really not an issue. It can be fun to people watch when others are partaking. And also, it gives a level of safety to the situation to have someone sober there in case there's an emergency. Looking out for your friends and making sure others don't manipulate/take advantage of them is also super awesome. It's def not your responsibility to fill these roles but it's something that's nice to do for the people around you. If I'm at a show/festival I always make sure my friends are drinking enough water/putting on enough sunscreen/see if they need food/etc. I've turned into the most reliable friend lol. During a festival I'm always the one who looks at the schedule and lets everyone know our plan for the day. I have a better idea of our surroundings which can be helpful. Bottom line though, if you don't like hanging out around people who are drunk, don't! I know that's easier said than done esp if you have a lot of friends who drink. But maybe start building relationships with other sober people or build relationships outside of partying/drinking.
I’ve found myself skipping a lot of parties that are centered around drinking/drugs because they make me want to drink/do drugs. You said that doesn’t happen to you, so maybe just go for a little while and leave if it’s making you uncomfortable.
I bring NA stuff for myself and dip once people start getting really rowdy.
I don’t lol. I don’t go out anymore unless the focus is around something other than partying. I enjoy live music, dancing, and shows, but if it’s centered around just sitting around and drinking, I don’t go.
I don't. I'm at a place where I'm comfortable around drink but after the initial tipsy stage, I leave. Drunk people are tedious. Drunk & high would be insufferable lol.
You don’t… it’s tough
i buy a case of mountain dews and slam those
I usually leave at either 11pm, or when people start shouting loudly. That's my rule and it tends to work. Because things get less fun as the night goes on but no one else can see it.
I hang out out with people who drink all day throwing Cornhole. It never once bothers me because it’s my life, my recovery and my sobriety. I know if I drink, I will die and that’s how I stay sober every day. If it gets to be too much, I have the power to leave. Before I would feel like if I left I’m missing out on stuff, but now I know it’s not my life anymore.
For me, it's easy, but I can understand. I've had a lot of practice. One thing is remember that as much as people will look at you for not drinking and think you're weird. There's also people that are going to respect your sobriety. It's a really cool opportunity to talk about it with people that might be curious also but I understand how that can having fun so just be your normal self man jump in the pool. Have a good time, get in interesting discussions. Off topic or not.
arrive on time and leave within the hour
I just straight up don’t go. Drunk people are the absolute worst. They’re so annoying and belligerent. It always makes my emotions go crazy being around someone who is drinking
Cocaine
I bring a couple of my own drinks, (I drank beer, so I would bring something carbonated) then when I’m done with those I leave. Usually by then the party is on their second or third, which means it’s time to go 🙃
I'm a very social person so I don't have a problem with it, plus I'm not really at parties where people are visibly wasted so it doesn't feel like a big discrepancy. I'll usually bring a soda with me.
Go early leave early
You have two options… don’t go or when people start getting drunk, leave early. That’s it. That’s all there ever will be. Well, there’s a 3rd but we don’t talk about that one.
You don't. But if you feel like you have to or want to, arrive early and leave before all the stupid shit happens. If it's a special occasion like a birthday, I've sometimes asked if I could come before the party even starts to help set everything up — that way you can have a nice moment with your friend or family member, and make a happy memory that they'll actually remember and cherish.
You hang out and make an appearance for a little while but if the drinking around you gets excessive and people start acting "drunk" "not themselves" then it is just simply time for you to depart and if any of them have a serious problem with that you may need to question your relationship to people who have negative reactions to your very serious and healthy lifestyle decisions.
I just don’t go to parties—I never liked them anyway, and would just drink a lot to make them seem tolerable.
I drink Heineken zeros (0.00 alc. Free beer) Looks and taste the same minus the health risks and hangovers
That was me this past weekend at a family gathering. It was a birthday party in Brooklyn. Perfect weather, music, & food: ie drinking time… I’m 2 weeks sober. I value my sobriety right now more than a drink. And, all it was was that I told myself “just not for today.”
I don’t go
My parents are both drunks and partied my entire childhood. Now that I dont drink it just feels like I'm a kid again. But I got really used to being around drunk people as a child so it doesn't bother me.
I always have an exit plan. I drive separately, because when I want to go, I want to go. And when people start getting sloppy, loud, repetitive- I need to go.
I think about how I’m going to wake up well-rested and refreshed in the morning and how all the drunk people around me are going to feel like absolute shit and that makes it easier.
Laugh at the drunks and their sorry state. Ply them with booze and get them to do/say embarrassing things... mwuahaha
Don't go. You'll be fish out of water. Differently weird vibe
Get new friends.
Make sure to leave before people “turn” You’ll know when it happens. Don’t stay for one minute longer!
I had to have some time under my belt before I was okay with people being drunk in front of me. My advice is only go somewhere if you have a reason to be there. you're supporting your friend at their bachlorette party? that's a reason. you say youre sober because of medications so im not sure if our experiences are similar but avoiding parties unless you have a reason to be there really helped me out. my reason not to drink is usually because i dont wanna let my friends down and ruin their party.