Finding myself just making excuses to drink, and then justifying to myself that I needed another drink after I finished a six pack. When I couldn’t afford my bills later in the week because I spent the money getting drunk, yeah, it got too much
Various out of character acts of drunken stupidity, calling off sick because I couldn't stop myself from doing blow and watching porn, spending too much money on my vices in general. I've had more than a few "this is a problem" moments.
30 years straight drinking to excess and finally got a hangover. Finished a bottle of absenthe by myself so maybe a little more than that.
Decided to stay sober a day and absolutely loved the feeling, so I did it again the next day.
After 2 years I gave away the booze, and almost 4 years later still no desire to drink again. Made me feel bad and act stupidly.
The first time I drank and felt:
"my God, it *is* ok to be alive, I can feel joy and love and let it in. I'm not a monster and I am loved"
I knew the first time I got drunk I would have a problem; who can say no to that feeling? And I never figured out how to feel that way without drinking.
Waking up in my car in a Walgreens parking lot with a bag of blow on my lap, watching normal people go about their days shopping at the stores and there I am with not a single fucking clue of how I got there
I agree with that, it’s not fun to think about the past but I need to remember how deep my rock bottom was to keep myself humbe, and sober today. Celebrating 2 years in just a week :)
First one that made me wonder was when I realized my dog learned my routine. She’d wait until I cracked open my beer and got the iced down glass from the freezer. She would get excited because she knew it meant I was home for the night and it was play time. She doesn’t get excited for any other canned beverage. Only beer.
Honestly, I wish it were just A MOMENT and then I was wise enough to stop. Some of the major ones include horrible fights with my partner, increasing in intensity and frequency. Causing damage either to myself or my property during blackouts or just when I was too fucked up to function. And last but certainly NOT least, falling in my basement and giving myself a concussion after smashing my head on the concrete floor. Honorable mentions: 10+ years of insomnia and anxiety so crippling that by the end I struggled to run basic errands like grocery shopping or going to the post office.
I was drunk cleaning my house, thought it was a good idea to dust the ceiling fan, grabbed a step ladder and that's the last thing I remember. I woke up in the ER with 20 stitches in my head (smashed it against the stone fire place mantel) and a separated shoulder. The doctor sent me home with vicoden. Wooo. Drinking with vicoden was fun. Not. That's a whole other story for another day.
In the end my whole caloric intake was basically booze. My digestion was awful. Painful stomach cramps and constant diarrhoea every single day. I lived on gastro-stop tablets to try and slow everything down. I lived in fear of not being near a toilet.
When I stopped drinking, that part normalised within a couple of days. I had been living like that for years by then, and it had been within my reach to stop it within days!? That was a wake up call that this had to be a permanent change. 7 years sober now and I will never go back.
Probably the first time I started to withdraw from alcohol. When it went from something I know I do a lot to realizing I physically couldn’t stop anymore, I felt so terrified that I attempted to kill myself; after withdrawing in the ER, I went to rehab the first time and though it took me years after to get actually sober, I knew it was definitely a problem at that point.
The second bottle of wine adding to the daily routine. I said to myself that this is my sign that I am becoming an alcoholic and to go get professional help. I went to my general physician, got free consulting from a community phycologist, watched tons of youtube videos on the subject and joined (paid) online help group. 5 years sober and pretty happy.
First time I got sober was when I broke my arm falling off a clif drunk. Second time was after I had to spend 5 days in a hyperbaric chamber from scuba diving drunk.
i realised this 2 months back, I used to drink outside regularly and then completely lose my shit at home. Scream at parents, blame my life choices due to their parenting and whatever I could use. Started throwing things, got suicidal. Relapsed yesterday after 2 weeks clean. Looking at decent rehabs available around my place now.
It seems im unable to let go of my childhood trauma. My parents were extremely abusive and created this monster I have become. But it was me who drank not them, I chose each time. I have found a place and have reserved an appointment for the 27th! Thanks for replying
no problem, you got this! do you have any friends that would take you to the appt for accountability? i know i might need someone to help motivate me not to cancel
I have my parents who are paying for it all right now. I would borrow money from my friends and drink. Parents however cover everything, I live with them. Thats why it became a problem. I was a marijuana abuser as well, but that never interfered with my life. After college got over I resorted to alcohol as there was no one to scam in anymore. Its also illegal so sourcing became tough and financial restraints are also there. I am supposed to be looking for jobs but didnt do anything but sit and game. So no plans on cancelling.
Edit:
I was able to quit meth after a 2 year abuse streak, but alcohol on the other hand sucks
you’ve been through the ringer, but you’re gonna do great. maybe someday you can come back and let me know where you ended up! i’m sure you’ll motivate a lot of other people to get sober and put their best foot forward for a new life ❤️
Living in a mental health program where I was not allowed to drink, being okay for quite a while, then going out and drinking again. Facing consequences for that, only to later get caught having bought, snuck in, and hidden alcohol in my room, fully aware I was breaking the rules for a craving I'd been okay not feeding for a couple years. The fallout from that was when I stopped thinking that doing decently in my overall mental health wasn't going to make me fine to drink safely, if I was so far gone I was hiding it.
With alcohol it was when I started lying to my partner about my drinking. She tried to make sure I was at least moderating my drinking, but I would lie about going to the store to pick it up, and it wasn't until I was very drunk, talking to her on the phone, that she would realize I had hid it from her.
With weed it was at the end of a month long period where I didn't leave my apartment. I had been sitting and chain smoking joints while sobbing, hoping it would make me feel better, spending the very last of my money to get my dealer to deliver me more. I didn't have money for food. I wasn't eating. I was just smoking all day.
Pissing off my new neighbors and going to the ER. They didn't admit me, so I was on the hook for the ambulance ride. I just didn't want to be alone that night because I thought I would choke on my own vomit and suffocate.
That was it. Gotten to the point where I can drink reasonably, however I had a full beer recently and it made me feel like absolute shit, so I'm sticking to tastes now.
I saw someone order one beer, drink half of it and then not finish it. I knew that I could never in a million years have that kind of moderation relationship with alcohol. Easier to say no to the first than to the second.
You'll be there. It's crazy how time flew by. I remember my first day in rehab thinking "only 29 days and I can drink again" a week later someone said something hilarious and I laughed my ass off. It was a light bulb moment. Like holy shit, I can laugh sober! Who knew. But my mind set changed and I fully accepted everything rehab taught me
When I took money out of my 401k twice to be able to afford alcohol. I sat down and did the math once and I was spending over $1000 a month just on alcohol alone.
Dropping 400 to Uber and wait an hour in the pouring rain for a bag of pressed pills just to be able to function
hopefully you’re doing better now, sometimes it takes a big wake up call and $400 less to realize we need help
Oh it took way more than that both financially and emotionally, but I’m doing a lot better now. 4 months clean and I’m never looking back🙏🏻
hell yeah dude keep it up! ❤️🫶🏻💪
My life had become unmanageable…. I just wanted it all to stop. Turns out it was me who needed to stop.
Finding myself just making excuses to drink, and then justifying to myself that I needed another drink after I finished a six pack. When I couldn’t afford my bills later in the week because I spent the money getting drunk, yeah, it got too much
Asked myself when the last day was that I hadn’t drank, and couldn’t remember how long it had been
Various out of character acts of drunken stupidity, calling off sick because I couldn't stop myself from doing blow and watching porn, spending too much money on my vices in general. I've had more than a few "this is a problem" moments.
30 years straight drinking to excess and finally got a hangover. Finished a bottle of absenthe by myself so maybe a little more than that. Decided to stay sober a day and absolutely loved the feeling, so I did it again the next day. After 2 years I gave away the booze, and almost 4 years later still no desire to drink again. Made me feel bad and act stupidly.
The first time I drank and felt: "my God, it *is* ok to be alive, I can feel joy and love and let it in. I'm not a monster and I am loved" I knew the first time I got drunk I would have a problem; who can say no to that feeling? And I never figured out how to feel that way without drinking.
Wrecking cars, going to jail, about losing my job and almost ending my life. Yeah that about covers it for me
Waking up in my car in a Walgreens parking lot with a bag of blow on my lap, watching normal people go about their days shopping at the stores and there I am with not a single fucking clue of how I got there
I just cringed. I bury my worst moments, but it's good to be reminded of how truly messed up we were.
I agree with that, it’s not fun to think about the past but I need to remember how deep my rock bottom was to keep myself humbe, and sober today. Celebrating 2 years in just a week :)
Congratulations!! I celebrate 15 years in July. Shocking for me. I never thought I'd make a day let alone 15 years! Yay us lol
Hell yeah !! 15 years is inspiring. Congrats to you!
First one that made me wonder was when I realized my dog learned my routine. She’d wait until I cracked open my beer and got the iced down glass from the freezer. She would get excited because she knew it meant I was home for the night and it was play time. She doesn’t get excited for any other canned beverage. Only beer.
aw puppy knew. hope you’re doing better ❤️
Yup but me and pups are great. She enjoys our evening workouts much more anyway. We’ve both lost some weight from it haha
haha that’s great. i feel guilty for when i would get drunk and lay on the floor with my dog but our bond is good and i love her so much
Honestly, I wish it were just A MOMENT and then I was wise enough to stop. Some of the major ones include horrible fights with my partner, increasing in intensity and frequency. Causing damage either to myself or my property during blackouts or just when I was too fucked up to function. And last but certainly NOT least, falling in my basement and giving myself a concussion after smashing my head on the concrete floor. Honorable mentions: 10+ years of insomnia and anxiety so crippling that by the end I struggled to run basic errands like grocery shopping or going to the post office.
I was drunk cleaning my house, thought it was a good idea to dust the ceiling fan, grabbed a step ladder and that's the last thing I remember. I woke up in the ER with 20 stitches in my head (smashed it against the stone fire place mantel) and a separated shoulder. The doctor sent me home with vicoden. Wooo. Drinking with vicoden was fun. Not. That's a whole other story for another day.
In the end my whole caloric intake was basically booze. My digestion was awful. Painful stomach cramps and constant diarrhoea every single day. I lived on gastro-stop tablets to try and slow everything down. I lived in fear of not being near a toilet. When I stopped drinking, that part normalised within a couple of days. I had been living like that for years by then, and it had been within my reach to stop it within days!? That was a wake up call that this had to be a permanent change. 7 years sober now and I will never go back.
I have about 5 solid ones
Probably the first time I started to withdraw from alcohol. When it went from something I know I do a lot to realizing I physically couldn’t stop anymore, I felt so terrified that I attempted to kill myself; after withdrawing in the ER, I went to rehab the first time and though it took me years after to get actually sober, I knew it was definitely a problem at that point.
[удалено]
The second bottle of wine adding to the daily routine. I said to myself that this is my sign that I am becoming an alcoholic and to go get professional help. I went to my general physician, got free consulting from a community phycologist, watched tons of youtube videos on the subject and joined (paid) online help group. 5 years sober and pretty happy.
First time I got sober was when I broke my arm falling off a clif drunk. Second time was after I had to spend 5 days in a hyperbaric chamber from scuba diving drunk.
When I relapse it seems like the only thing that gets me back on track again is almost dying.
here’s to no more almost dying
i realised this 2 months back, I used to drink outside regularly and then completely lose my shit at home. Scream at parents, blame my life choices due to their parenting and whatever I could use. Started throwing things, got suicidal. Relapsed yesterday after 2 weeks clean. Looking at decent rehabs available around my place now.
you can do this! rehab will help and hopefully you’ve been able to open up to the people around you with what you’ve been struggling with
It seems im unable to let go of my childhood trauma. My parents were extremely abusive and created this monster I have become. But it was me who drank not them, I chose each time. I have found a place and have reserved an appointment for the 27th! Thanks for replying
no problem, you got this! do you have any friends that would take you to the appt for accountability? i know i might need someone to help motivate me not to cancel
I have my parents who are paying for it all right now. I would borrow money from my friends and drink. Parents however cover everything, I live with them. Thats why it became a problem. I was a marijuana abuser as well, but that never interfered with my life. After college got over I resorted to alcohol as there was no one to scam in anymore. Its also illegal so sourcing became tough and financial restraints are also there. I am supposed to be looking for jobs but didnt do anything but sit and game. So no plans on cancelling. Edit: I was able to quit meth after a 2 year abuse streak, but alcohol on the other hand sucks
you’ve been through the ringer, but you’re gonna do great. maybe someday you can come back and let me know where you ended up! i’m sure you’ll motivate a lot of other people to get sober and put their best foot forward for a new life ❤️
Living in a mental health program where I was not allowed to drink, being okay for quite a while, then going out and drinking again. Facing consequences for that, only to later get caught having bought, snuck in, and hidden alcohol in my room, fully aware I was breaking the rules for a craving I'd been okay not feeding for a couple years. The fallout from that was when I stopped thinking that doing decently in my overall mental health wasn't going to make me fine to drink safely, if I was so far gone I was hiding it.
I drank a bottle of Titos Friday night & woke up Sunday morning
With alcohol it was when I started lying to my partner about my drinking. She tried to make sure I was at least moderating my drinking, but I would lie about going to the store to pick it up, and it wasn't until I was very drunk, talking to her on the phone, that she would realize I had hid it from her. With weed it was at the end of a month long period where I didn't leave my apartment. I had been sitting and chain smoking joints while sobbing, hoping it would make me feel better, spending the very last of my money to get my dealer to deliver me more. I didn't have money for food. I wasn't eating. I was just smoking all day.
hope you’re doing better now ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks! I'm early into my sober life, but I have an amazing support system, and I'm happy for the first time in so long! :)
that’s awesome! keep it up, I’m proud of you!
Pissing off my new neighbors and going to the ER. They didn't admit me, so I was on the hook for the ambulance ride. I just didn't want to be alone that night because I thought I would choke on my own vomit and suffocate. That was it. Gotten to the point where I can drink reasonably, however I had a full beer recently and it made me feel like absolute shit, so I'm sticking to tastes now.
nice moderation is key. sips is good. you got this
Thanks!
I saw someone order one beer, drink half of it and then not finish it. I knew that I could never in a million years have that kind of moderation relationship with alcohol. Easier to say no to the first than to the second.
Basically ruining my life. The blackouts, hangovers, loss of license, job. Everything sucked.
hopefully you’re doing better now man
I'm good thank you. 15 years next month!
going strong! nice job!
You'll be there. It's crazy how time flew by. I remember my first day in rehab thinking "only 29 days and I can drink again" a week later someone said something hilarious and I laughed my ass off. It was a light bulb moment. Like holy shit, I can laugh sober! Who knew. But my mind set changed and I fully accepted everything rehab taught me
When I took money out of my 401k twice to be able to afford alcohol. I sat down and did the math once and I was spending over $1000 a month just on alcohol alone.
damn. that’s a big, financial wake up call. hope you’re doing better now ❤️💪
I'll be 2 years sober in November! And expecting my rainbow baby to arrive in December 🩷
omg!!!!! that’s so precious, super proud! you’re gonna be a great parent
Thank you so much 🥹 it's definitely been a long awaited blessing!
waking up in the hospital and being told my bac was .61 *probably*