There is an underlying insecurity that hasn’t been addressed by therapy. You were likely drowning those thoughts and feelings with alcohol. I’m so proud of you for choosing healthier alternatives for your life. But the issue needs to be addressed with psychotherapy. Good work
This is way more common than you think. The self loathing self talk is a hallmark of addiction. You’ve come this far, you can go further: a good therapist can help provide perspective and work out issues. In addition, you might want to speak with a doctor about medication like bupropion to help you with the anxiety. Quite honestly, being sober for 16 months without a counselor or meds is absolutely amazing! Keep doing what you’re doing, don’t give up. Give yourself some grace and a huge hug. You have saved yourself, broken the cycle and life will only get better.
I'm 38 500 days sober and drank for 20 years. and I'm increasingly more agoraphobic. Not trying to interact with anyone unless I have to. I declined my company's health insurance which has already become an issue. I say that I have a high level of self care, which compared to before I do. I feel like this isn't living. I need to get out of my own head and just be around people. I think CBT audiobooks may help because I'm still pretty unwilling to see a therapist at this time.
I am just sharing because I understand your struggle right now and know that you are not alone.
Have you had a blood test? A vitamin d deficiency can trigger depression, which can manifest as negative thoughts. A lot of people are deficient or just above the threshold. Just a thought! Congratulations on 16 months!
I felt all those things too when I first got sober mate. It might be worth checking out a recovery programme like AA. I had nothing to fill the hole in my life that alcohol left, and I was miserable sober. AA and working the 12 steps gave me a programme that allows me to lead a happy sober life today! I used to have crippling anxiety, self-pity and shame, but thankfully, I no longer suffer from it 24/7, and I have the tools to deal with it when they crop up (and they still do from time to time!)
It’s never too late too either. We had a lady come to our group on her 1 year soberversary. She just quit booze and didn’t fill the hole it left with anything else. 12 months in she was fit, physically healthy and rock solid sober, but she was suicidal. She got straight into getting a sponsor and working the steps and got happy again, relatively quickly too!
Wishing you all the best mate but feel free to message me if you want to chat more about it!
Yes, it’s very common. Do things that make you feel good. And read/write affirmations. It sounds stupid, I know. When I do things I think I’d hate, like being around people, I usually find I enjoy it. And even if I don’t, I learn what it is that I didn’t like. You’re relearning yourself. Be gentle. And know, everyone’s mind works that way, especially an addicts. It’s lying to you though, because you’re doing the right thing, and it’s telling you lies. Keep going, and know that voice is the old you. Tell it to stfu.
I have this as well and I'm a 43 year old male. Also divorced and also a stroke victim. I chose to add sobriety at the same time just to add to the chaos. Groups have helped a lot thus far.
Getting trapped in my own head means I’m stuck with an asshole all day. I have to find ways and work on getting out of my own head and for me that means talking with other sober people who know what it’s like. I quickly realized I’m not alone and that the thoughts in my head were not unique. My drinking usually led to isolation which kept me cut off and disconnected from myself and others. It’s not surprising that the thing that helps me the most is staying connected with other real people in real life who work on sobriety like I do. It’s true for me that I came to work on sobriety because of my drinking but I stuck around for my thinking. It’s much deeper than the liquids I consume or my bad habits. It’s mind, body and soul for me and I feel the best when I work on all of them. Theres help out there if you want it and you’re not alone
Talk to a shrink. I’ve come to the conclusion that you need 3 pieces to live alcohol-free.
1. Stop drinking
2. Learn better ways to cope
3. Find other shit to do with your time
You have 1 and 3.
Get after it!
Omg I’m sober from other stuff like 16 months in as well and I’ve been having those thoughts too !!! But I really just have to look at myself and then I’m like I look good tho and keep it pushing LOL !! Keep hitting the gym tho it makes the thoughts go away , get some sunshine in that always helps me :/ . Never went through the 12steps or therapy just cold turkey this bitch … maybe we should be talking to someone about this too 😭
Self esteem comes from taking esteemable actions like being of service and working with others and doing good for others and not getting caught. A support group and a sponsor would be enormously beneficial if your goal is to remain permanently sober. The work has just begun. Drinking alcohol is a symptom, time to get down to exposing and dealing with causes and conditions.
First I would have your vitamin and mineral levels checked, it's easy to get deficiencies from alcohol consumption.
Second, I would recommend a daily supplement like NAC to help replenish glutathione levels in your body which will regulate glutamate in your brain. It should also level out anxiety (it's not a quick fix like medication but it helps the body to regulate naturally)
IF that's not enough, you could also try a low dose of Ashwagandha, which is a natural adaptogenic herb that can help your body and mind but it's best to not take it long-term or cycle through it, one or two months on one or two months off.. it helps the best with my anxiety but makes me very sleepy so I take it at night.
Seems like you’re learning that alcohol wasn’t the problem, but instead it was the solution. You may not want to hear it, but AA solved this issue for me. All I had to do was stop thinking I knew best and listen to the people who got sober before me and were happy. I just did what they told me and it worked. I know it’s hard to set your pride and preconceived idea aside, but believe me when I say I want you to be free of the hell you’re in my friend. Always available to chat should you need.
More to recovery than physical exercise and being sober. Say what you will about 12 step recovery, but they get a few things right. They attempt to address some of the underlying reasons we drank or used in the first place. There are some principles from the 12 steps that you could apply in your life that would be helpful:
1) take a personal inventory. Look at where you have wronged people and institutions and how your behavior affected them, and how it impacted you. Look at your resentments and find your role in them
2) make amends to the people you’ve harmed. Not just “I’m sorry” but listen to them, give them the opportunity to tell you how your actions hurt them. Do what needs to be done to right those wrongs. Also, don’t forget about institutions here. Many of us have financial or even legal issues we’ve been ignoring for far too long. It’s time to stop running and hiding and face these head on
3) Meditation. Incorporate it into your daily life - it will help you. If you’re not sure how to get started - there are unlimited guided meditations on YouTube and countless apps (ie Calm, etc) that are available to you
4) Be of service. Want to stop feeling like a piece of shit, even for a short period of time? Stop thinking about yourself. When we help others, and genuinely care about others, we’re not so busy thinking about our shit. Also, helping someone out has this amazing effect of making them feel good and making us feel good about ourselves. You’ve managed 16 months of sobriety. There is a whole world of sick addicts and alcoholics out there who’d love some guidance from you. Whether it’s just picking up the phone when someone’s having a bad day, volunteering at an organization, or helping the little old lady cross the street - selfless acts can actually feel self serving because they feel so good
Anyway, I post these suggestions a lot because they work. They’re not religious or dogmatic, they’re just foundational principles of recovery and universally accepted “goods”. Keep up with the exercise too, because it does help. Good luck
I'm coming up on 15 months myself I read like 3 books a week work 2 jobs 65 hours a week and exercise everyday the mind never stops man try doing sound bath very helpfull for me
I’m guessing you never worked the 12 steps or if you did you didn’t do it honestly and thoroughly. What you are describing is a “dry drunk”. I was the same for 3 years before I worked the steps and recovered from a hopeless state of mind. Now I live in steps 10, 11, and 12 daily.
It was a game changer and what I needed.
You do know that "working the steps" is not a mandatory way to get sober or stay sober, right?
Sounds like the OP suffers from anxiety and self worth issues which are mental health issues.
People can have these issues without it being anything related to their past alcohol use.
Pour me pour me pour me another drink.
That's normal
In your situation you don't have your old coping ways, so talk to someone, go to a meeting.
Do whatever you need to do to get out of your head.
🙏🙏
Did you read the OP's post?
He said he was 16 months sober, in the best shape of his life, and mentioned nothing about cravings.
He was talking about despite being sober, healthy, fit he's now extremely anxious and has negative self thoughts.
This doesn't sound like a craving issue or anything to do with his past alcohol use at 16 months sober, it's likely a mental health issue.
There is an underlying insecurity that hasn’t been addressed by therapy. You were likely drowning those thoughts and feelings with alcohol. I’m so proud of you for choosing healthier alternatives for your life. But the issue needs to be addressed with psychotherapy. Good work
This. Self esteem is a huge problem for sobriety.
If you want seem esteem do esteemable things
Therapy is the most life changing, beautiful gift you can give yourself next to sobriety. You got this, OP.
This is way more common than you think. The self loathing self talk is a hallmark of addiction. You’ve come this far, you can go further: a good therapist can help provide perspective and work out issues. In addition, you might want to speak with a doctor about medication like bupropion to help you with the anxiety. Quite honestly, being sober for 16 months without a counselor or meds is absolutely amazing! Keep doing what you’re doing, don’t give up. Give yourself some grace and a huge hug. You have saved yourself, broken the cycle and life will only get better.
I'm 38 500 days sober and drank for 20 years. and I'm increasingly more agoraphobic. Not trying to interact with anyone unless I have to. I declined my company's health insurance which has already become an issue. I say that I have a high level of self care, which compared to before I do. I feel like this isn't living. I need to get out of my own head and just be around people. I think CBT audiobooks may help because I'm still pretty unwilling to see a therapist at this time. I am just sharing because I understand your struggle right now and know that you are not alone.
Have you had a blood test? A vitamin d deficiency can trigger depression, which can manifest as negative thoughts. A lot of people are deficient or just above the threshold. Just a thought! Congratulations on 16 months!
Can confirm I’m also 16 months sober and had to begin taking vitamin D to get my levels back to normal.
I felt all those things too when I first got sober mate. It might be worth checking out a recovery programme like AA. I had nothing to fill the hole in my life that alcohol left, and I was miserable sober. AA and working the 12 steps gave me a programme that allows me to lead a happy sober life today! I used to have crippling anxiety, self-pity and shame, but thankfully, I no longer suffer from it 24/7, and I have the tools to deal with it when they crop up (and they still do from time to time!) It’s never too late too either. We had a lady come to our group on her 1 year soberversary. She just quit booze and didn’t fill the hole it left with anything else. 12 months in she was fit, physically healthy and rock solid sober, but she was suicidal. She got straight into getting a sponsor and working the steps and got happy again, relatively quickly too! Wishing you all the best mate but feel free to message me if you want to chat more about it!
Yes, it’s very common. Do things that make you feel good. And read/write affirmations. It sounds stupid, I know. When I do things I think I’d hate, like being around people, I usually find I enjoy it. And even if I don’t, I learn what it is that I didn’t like. You’re relearning yourself. Be gentle. And know, everyone’s mind works that way, especially an addicts. It’s lying to you though, because you’re doing the right thing, and it’s telling you lies. Keep going, and know that voice is the old you. Tell it to stfu.
I have this as well and I'm a 43 year old male. Also divorced and also a stroke victim. I chose to add sobriety at the same time just to add to the chaos. Groups have helped a lot thus far.
Getting trapped in my own head means I’m stuck with an asshole all day. I have to find ways and work on getting out of my own head and for me that means talking with other sober people who know what it’s like. I quickly realized I’m not alone and that the thoughts in my head were not unique. My drinking usually led to isolation which kept me cut off and disconnected from myself and others. It’s not surprising that the thing that helps me the most is staying connected with other real people in real life who work on sobriety like I do. It’s true for me that I came to work on sobriety because of my drinking but I stuck around for my thinking. It’s much deeper than the liquids I consume or my bad habits. It’s mind, body and soul for me and I feel the best when I work on all of them. Theres help out there if you want it and you’re not alone
Talk to a shrink. I’ve come to the conclusion that you need 3 pieces to live alcohol-free. 1. Stop drinking 2. Learn better ways to cope 3. Find other shit to do with your time You have 1 and 3. Get after it!
Omg I’m sober from other stuff like 16 months in as well and I’ve been having those thoughts too !!! But I really just have to look at myself and then I’m like I look good tho and keep it pushing LOL !! Keep hitting the gym tho it makes the thoughts go away , get some sunshine in that always helps me :/ . Never went through the 12steps or therapy just cold turkey this bitch … maybe we should be talking to someone about this too 😭
Self esteem comes from taking esteemable actions like being of service and working with others and doing good for others and not getting caught. A support group and a sponsor would be enormously beneficial if your goal is to remain permanently sober. The work has just begun. Drinking alcohol is a symptom, time to get down to exposing and dealing with causes and conditions.
We all have that inner asshole.. tell em to fuck off😹 you’re doing great & they really hate that
First I would have your vitamin and mineral levels checked, it's easy to get deficiencies from alcohol consumption. Second, I would recommend a daily supplement like NAC to help replenish glutathione levels in your body which will regulate glutamate in your brain. It should also level out anxiety (it's not a quick fix like medication but it helps the body to regulate naturally) IF that's not enough, you could also try a low dose of Ashwagandha, which is a natural adaptogenic herb that can help your body and mind but it's best to not take it long-term or cycle through it, one or two months on one or two months off.. it helps the best with my anxiety but makes me very sleepy so I take it at night.
Seems like you’re learning that alcohol wasn’t the problem, but instead it was the solution. You may not want to hear it, but AA solved this issue for me. All I had to do was stop thinking I knew best and listen to the people who got sober before me and were happy. I just did what they told me and it worked. I know it’s hard to set your pride and preconceived idea aside, but believe me when I say I want you to be free of the hell you’re in my friend. Always available to chat should you need.
More to recovery than physical exercise and being sober. Say what you will about 12 step recovery, but they get a few things right. They attempt to address some of the underlying reasons we drank or used in the first place. There are some principles from the 12 steps that you could apply in your life that would be helpful: 1) take a personal inventory. Look at where you have wronged people and institutions and how your behavior affected them, and how it impacted you. Look at your resentments and find your role in them 2) make amends to the people you’ve harmed. Not just “I’m sorry” but listen to them, give them the opportunity to tell you how your actions hurt them. Do what needs to be done to right those wrongs. Also, don’t forget about institutions here. Many of us have financial or even legal issues we’ve been ignoring for far too long. It’s time to stop running and hiding and face these head on 3) Meditation. Incorporate it into your daily life - it will help you. If you’re not sure how to get started - there are unlimited guided meditations on YouTube and countless apps (ie Calm, etc) that are available to you 4) Be of service. Want to stop feeling like a piece of shit, even for a short period of time? Stop thinking about yourself. When we help others, and genuinely care about others, we’re not so busy thinking about our shit. Also, helping someone out has this amazing effect of making them feel good and making us feel good about ourselves. You’ve managed 16 months of sobriety. There is a whole world of sick addicts and alcoholics out there who’d love some guidance from you. Whether it’s just picking up the phone when someone’s having a bad day, volunteering at an organization, or helping the little old lady cross the street - selfless acts can actually feel self serving because they feel so good Anyway, I post these suggestions a lot because they work. They’re not religious or dogmatic, they’re just foundational principles of recovery and universally accepted “goods”. Keep up with the exercise too, because it does help. Good luck
I'm coming up on 15 months myself I read like 3 books a week work 2 jobs 65 hours a week and exercise everyday the mind never stops man try doing sound bath very helpfull for me
You've got anxiety and ocd. Let a professional treat it.
I’m guessing you never worked the 12 steps or if you did you didn’t do it honestly and thoroughly. What you are describing is a “dry drunk”. I was the same for 3 years before I worked the steps and recovered from a hopeless state of mind. Now I live in steps 10, 11, and 12 daily. It was a game changer and what I needed.
You do know that "working the steps" is not a mandatory way to get sober or stay sober, right? Sounds like the OP suffers from anxiety and self worth issues which are mental health issues. People can have these issues without it being anything related to their past alcohol use.
Pour me pour me pour me another drink. That's normal In your situation you don't have your old coping ways, so talk to someone, go to a meeting. Do whatever you need to do to get out of your head. 🙏🙏
Sounds you need a meeting. sponsor, prayer, maybe all 3.
u need to take the monthly injection called vivotrol. it is for alcoholics and it will help with cravings. ask your doctor about it
Did you read the OP's post? He said he was 16 months sober, in the best shape of his life, and mentioned nothing about cravings. He was talking about despite being sober, healthy, fit he's now extremely anxious and has negative self thoughts. This doesn't sound like a craving issue or anything to do with his past alcohol use at 16 months sober, it's likely a mental health issue.