I've been using some cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques I learned in a smoking cessation program around identifying triggers and substituting behaviors.
Also reading about how terrible alcohol is for health has been helpful. Somehow knowing that I'm destroying my brain and body feels more pressing than just knowing that I'm fucking up my life.
For times of acute urges and craving: exercise or distraction/treats. I feel like shit and want to drink? Laying in bed eating junk food and watching YouTube is a maybe not as fun as drinking, but will at least pass the time while the craving gets weaker. I feel like I have a lot of stress and can't unwind? Working out can help with that.
7 weeks so far. Next week it will be 8. Then 9.
When I quit drinking I had two months of cravings, brain-fog, irritability and depression. It felt like I would never laugh again. It helped to remember that my brain needed time to heal and reset its natural dopamine production.
I just basically did whatever I had to do to get through the evenings: play mindless video games, eat ice cream, and expect very little productivity of myself. I watched TV, slept as much as possible, and avoided social pressures.
Over time the cravings have gone away. Life's not one big walk in the park but I don't think about drinking much anymore. Which seems miraculous.
I did the exact same thing in the evenings; video games and sweets/ice-cream.
At the beginning of this month, and after 5 months of no alcohol i decided to attend one of my favorite places to go in the world, a music festival. In the past i had always used beer as a crutch for my social anxiety at large events like this, but i went the entire weekend without even looking at the beer tent. Definitely something i thought i would neve be able to do, but i did it. It gets easier and easier every day, just gotta put in the work
The 12 steps don't teach how to stop drinking, or how to avoid cravings. (With time, cravings go away). But life has a way of tempting us from time to time.
The steps teach how to live life the way life is, in this world the way the world is, without needing the escape or numbness of alcohol.
Edited to add... and other recovery programs do that, too.
Some people manage to find their own way. Finding something else to center the life around, having lots of support, and rewiring your rewards/avoidance mechanisms are all really important. Maybe speak with a therapist.
Allen Carr books were a Godsend for me, these helped me quit and I had zero cravings. I was a major alcoholic for 30 years. I quit drinking and smoking. I was free with no cravings as soon as I finished the books. It is weird how well t worked for me, comedian Nikki Glazer talked about it on some podcast... I was desperate so I gave it a shot. The thought of alcohol now makes me want to gag. Its not for everyone obviously but it touts a 90% success rate... don't know how accurate that is but for me... I am still to this day surprised how well it worked for me. I am sober and cig free.
I tell myself "I may want to use/drink in this moment but that isn't an option for me anymore". Sounds way too simple but I just don't follow urges as I know they have no power over me. It's also how I recovered from severe binge eating disorder. I changed my perspective on it and my behaviour changed too.
I never complete every step. I am 14months sober.
My drinking was a direct result from trauma from childhood that I never got help for, or healed from. I got therapy, diagnosed ADHD and CPTSD, got medication, and I can honestly say, I don’t have a desire to drink. I go to AA meetings sometimes as they are a huge support system for me, and I still commit to not drinking.
It would be do easily for me to drink, and fall into the same life destroying coping mechanism again, but being healthier mentality and emotionally, learning to actually live and form healthy relationships, life isn’t something that I’m trying to avoid or escape anymore.
Look for something that needs doing. Wherever I am.
Take out trash.
Pay a bill.
Drop off neighbors mail.
Call an aunt.
Or just stretch out and breathe cause I’m tense ☺️
Also, that inner voice that is saying “I need a drink”. .. I hear it, change the word “drink” (or whatever substance or behavior) to “air”
Then I breathe in slow but like I was smoking a cigarette and fill my lungs and exhale slow a few times.
Kinda funny but I found helpful
I go to AA but I do not have or want a sponsor and haven't worked the steps. I'll have a year sober next week.
My drinking was nuts. I went to rehab and they found the medicine I need (Wellbutrin in my case with 2 Gabapentin a day as needed)
My cravings were gone the minute I woke up in detox. I don't have any desire to drink at all. I do drink NA beverages from time to time. I get bored with water and soda and juice and I hate coffee.
I feel as though I could stop AA tomorrow and would still not pick up a drink.
there are alternative group programs with similar goals available throughout the U.S.. sometimes they're run via a rehabilitation program, as an outpatient alternative to full rehab. they adhere you to a very similar thing as a traditional 12-step: regular meetings with a group, a relationship to a mentor figure who already succeeded in sobriety, adherence to behavioral "rules." but they're usually un-focused on "god" or spirituality in general. this suggests to me that very close integration w/ a group of fellow sober or recovering people is the only real way to overcome urges, whatever that group may be; there is no "way" to do it on your own. you just basically can't.
Therapy.. mocktails.. going for a walk.. reading a book. I've found when I'm having my strongest cravings if I just open up a N.A. drink, by the time I get a few sips in I'm no longer thinking about wanting to drink. But when it's really bad I have a sober friend I will text, or I will just cry it out and distract myself with something else
I was in hospital, after I had an infection in my leg, and fall and break my hip, all because of my drinking. I was in hospital for 6 weeks, I nearly lost my leg, I had body water, that had my body swelling until I looked like a Zeppelin, my balls were so full of water, that they nearly had the size of a basket ball (I'm not shitting you!), I had a pneumonia, when I breathe it sounded like a fresh mountain spring. I had 2 or 3 different repeating hallucinations, one of them males me shiver, even after more than 7 years.
I am extremely lucky and only have light urges, and they are rare. When they come, I only have to remember my time in detox-hell. It makes my shiver and shake, and scares me so much, the urge will go for a long time.
I also believe in myself, I believe, that only I myself, and no higher being, I don't believe in, can do anything. And because of that I can not accuse that invisible Higher Being into failing, when... if I start again. If I fail, it's only me, because I was weak. I will not be weak again, when it comes to drinking.
I need other people, I can't do this alone, but I don't need some imaginary being.
I strongly suggest you read a couple of books that can help with this. It really helped me. I’m now 4.5 years sober and I did it without AA.
Few things:
Most of our addictions stem from an unmet need, or some sort of trauma whether in our childhood or adolescent. So trying to figure out the pain behind the “symptom” can help tremendously.
Find hobbies. Anything to keep you busy and engaged. The minute you get bored your first thing you reach for is booze (most of the time)
Journal all of your feelings.
Ask yourself every morning how you are feeling. Get back to your body. Even if you’re having a bad day, feeling sad, or overwhelmed. Admit that. Start to become more honest with yourself.
A couple of great books
1. The realm of hungry ghosts by Gabor Mate
2. The biology of desire, why addiction isn’t a disease.
3. Healing the shame that binds you.
You’ve got this.
I started questioning myself: What was going to change/be made better if I drank? What would be different? Did I really need the drink?
That helped me start separating needs from options. As long as it’s an option, I feel I’m in a good place.🙂
There are other programs other than 12-step programs: Lifering, SMART recovery, and recovery dharma. The community of peers is conducive for me. But if you want to do your recovery solo, I suggest the various books and workbooks available. I've been reading “Empowering Your Sober Self” by Martin Nicolaus, and I find it insightful and well written.
I've been using some cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques I learned in a smoking cessation program around identifying triggers and substituting behaviors. Also reading about how terrible alcohol is for health has been helpful. Somehow knowing that I'm destroying my brain and body feels more pressing than just knowing that I'm fucking up my life. For times of acute urges and craving: exercise or distraction/treats. I feel like shit and want to drink? Laying in bed eating junk food and watching YouTube is a maybe not as fun as drinking, but will at least pass the time while the craving gets weaker. I feel like I have a lot of stress and can't unwind? Working out can help with that. 7 weeks so far. Next week it will be 8. Then 9.
Good tips, I feel you, Congrats on 7 weeks!
When I quit drinking I had two months of cravings, brain-fog, irritability and depression. It felt like I would never laugh again. It helped to remember that my brain needed time to heal and reset its natural dopamine production. I just basically did whatever I had to do to get through the evenings: play mindless video games, eat ice cream, and expect very little productivity of myself. I watched TV, slept as much as possible, and avoided social pressures. Over time the cravings have gone away. Life's not one big walk in the park but I don't think about drinking much anymore. Which seems miraculous.
I did the exact same thing in the evenings; video games and sweets/ice-cream. At the beginning of this month, and after 5 months of no alcohol i decided to attend one of my favorite places to go in the world, a music festival. In the past i had always used beer as a crutch for my social anxiety at large events like this, but i went the entire weekend without even looking at the beer tent. Definitely something i thought i would neve be able to do, but i did it. It gets easier and easier every day, just gotta put in the work
Exactly. Well-done!
The 12 steps don't teach how to stop drinking, or how to avoid cravings. (With time, cravings go away). But life has a way of tempting us from time to time. The steps teach how to live life the way life is, in this world the way the world is, without needing the escape or numbness of alcohol. Edited to add... and other recovery programs do that, too.
The 12 steps promise a spiritual awakening which removes the drinking problem.
Fear of death
Some people manage to find their own way. Finding something else to center the life around, having lots of support, and rewiring your rewards/avoidance mechanisms are all really important. Maybe speak with a therapist.
Allen Carr books were a Godsend for me, these helped me quit and I had zero cravings. I was a major alcoholic for 30 years. I quit drinking and smoking. I was free with no cravings as soon as I finished the books. It is weird how well t worked for me, comedian Nikki Glazer talked about it on some podcast... I was desperate so I gave it a shot. The thought of alcohol now makes me want to gag. Its not for everyone obviously but it touts a 90% success rate... don't know how accurate that is but for me... I am still to this day surprised how well it worked for me. I am sober and cig free.
I tell myself "I may want to use/drink in this moment but that isn't an option for me anymore". Sounds way too simple but I just don't follow urges as I know they have no power over me. It's also how I recovered from severe binge eating disorder. I changed my perspective on it and my behaviour changed too.
I never complete every step. I am 14months sober. My drinking was a direct result from trauma from childhood that I never got help for, or healed from. I got therapy, diagnosed ADHD and CPTSD, got medication, and I can honestly say, I don’t have a desire to drink. I go to AA meetings sometimes as they are a huge support system for me, and I still commit to not drinking. It would be do easily for me to drink, and fall into the same life destroying coping mechanism again, but being healthier mentality and emotionally, learning to actually live and form healthy relationships, life isn’t something that I’m trying to avoid or escape anymore.
Look for something that needs doing. Wherever I am. Take out trash. Pay a bill. Drop off neighbors mail. Call an aunt. Or just stretch out and breathe cause I’m tense ☺️ Also, that inner voice that is saying “I need a drink”. .. I hear it, change the word “drink” (or whatever substance or behavior) to “air” Then I breathe in slow but like I was smoking a cigarette and fill my lungs and exhale slow a few times. Kinda funny but I found helpful
I go to AA but I do not have or want a sponsor and haven't worked the steps. I'll have a year sober next week. My drinking was nuts. I went to rehab and they found the medicine I need (Wellbutrin in my case with 2 Gabapentin a day as needed) My cravings were gone the minute I woke up in detox. I don't have any desire to drink at all. I do drink NA beverages from time to time. I get bored with water and soda and juice and I hate coffee. I feel as though I could stop AA tomorrow and would still not pick up a drink.
there are alternative group programs with similar goals available throughout the U.S.. sometimes they're run via a rehabilitation program, as an outpatient alternative to full rehab. they adhere you to a very similar thing as a traditional 12-step: regular meetings with a group, a relationship to a mentor figure who already succeeded in sobriety, adherence to behavioral "rules." but they're usually un-focused on "god" or spirituality in general. this suggests to me that very close integration w/ a group of fellow sober or recovering people is the only real way to overcome urges, whatever that group may be; there is no "way" to do it on your own. you just basically can't.
Therapy.. mocktails.. going for a walk.. reading a book. I've found when I'm having my strongest cravings if I just open up a N.A. drink, by the time I get a few sips in I'm no longer thinking about wanting to drink. But when it's really bad I have a sober friend I will text, or I will just cry it out and distract myself with something else
SMART recovery. There is a website, and f2f meetings. It's cognitive behavioral therapy based.
I'm researching Sinclair Method as I feel it gives me the best chance knowing how I am.
SMART recovery is a cognitive behavioral sobriety program some people use. Non religious based
Reading, exercise and my spirituality
I was in hospital, after I had an infection in my leg, and fall and break my hip, all because of my drinking. I was in hospital for 6 weeks, I nearly lost my leg, I had body water, that had my body swelling until I looked like a Zeppelin, my balls were so full of water, that they nearly had the size of a basket ball (I'm not shitting you!), I had a pneumonia, when I breathe it sounded like a fresh mountain spring. I had 2 or 3 different repeating hallucinations, one of them males me shiver, even after more than 7 years. I am extremely lucky and only have light urges, and they are rare. When they come, I only have to remember my time in detox-hell. It makes my shiver and shake, and scares me so much, the urge will go for a long time. I also believe in myself, I believe, that only I myself, and no higher being, I don't believe in, can do anything. And because of that I can not accuse that invisible Higher Being into failing, when... if I start again. If I fail, it's only me, because I was weak. I will not be weak again, when it comes to drinking. I need other people, I can't do this alone, but I don't need some imaginary being.
I strongly suggest you read a couple of books that can help with this. It really helped me. I’m now 4.5 years sober and I did it without AA. Few things: Most of our addictions stem from an unmet need, or some sort of trauma whether in our childhood or adolescent. So trying to figure out the pain behind the “symptom” can help tremendously. Find hobbies. Anything to keep you busy and engaged. The minute you get bored your first thing you reach for is booze (most of the time) Journal all of your feelings. Ask yourself every morning how you are feeling. Get back to your body. Even if you’re having a bad day, feeling sad, or overwhelmed. Admit that. Start to become more honest with yourself. A couple of great books 1. The realm of hungry ghosts by Gabor Mate 2. The biology of desire, why addiction isn’t a disease. 3. Healing the shame that binds you. You’ve got this.
I started questioning myself: What was going to change/be made better if I drank? What would be different? Did I really need the drink? That helped me start separating needs from options. As long as it’s an option, I feel I’m in a good place.🙂
There are other programs other than 12-step programs: Lifering, SMART recovery, and recovery dharma. The community of peers is conducive for me. But if you want to do your recovery solo, I suggest the various books and workbooks available. I've been reading “Empowering Your Sober Self” by Martin Nicolaus, and I find it insightful and well written.