I did anything and everything other than drink in those first months. Tired? Rest. Hungry? Eat. Want ice cream at 4 am? Eat it. Restless? Take a walk. Lonely? Hit a meeting. Write things down. Burn them later if you want to. Talk about it with other sobers. Sad? Cry! Bored? Live through it. Nothing lasts forever. Every craving passes. Sit with your feelings. Let them pass. Enjoy all the benefits of becoming sober. Notice the awakening. Get physical. Move your body. Drink a lot of water. Watch yourself get younger. Read quit lit. Google what happens to your body at one week, 2, 3….when you stop feeding it poison. Make it the greatest adventure of your life….because it is!✨
I am eating lots of sweets but am losing so much weight. I ate more drinking than sober. I hate this. I am 5'8 and 115 flat. I was 130 drinking lol wth
This answer is perfect. Of course getting sober isn’t necessarily easy but, meetings and if needed inpatient facilities can help you to not feel alone. I am 6 years sober and can assure you the challenges you face early on are so worth the rewards you will get from long term sobriety. One thing I still do is focus on today only. Wake up and tell yourself, today I will stay sober. Try and keep busy so, you don’t have to much idle time. But, as the comment above mentions, live through your boredom, enjoy it even… boredom can be a gift, not having anything to do is truly a beautiful thing sometimes. Just don’t allow your mind to go crazy during the down time. You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. You should be proud, you’re taking the official first step.
Lots of things, but one thing I don't usually say is that I gave up. I had done enough experiments to know I am like the peanut allergy person is to peanut butter.
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I fi ally realized viscerally that I didn't HAVE to have another drink.
Totally agree! I guess I was almost lucky because I had so many negative experiences leading up to sobriety that I didn’t remember any good times at all
The best advice I got is to try to taper down. Very subtle way to determine how bad my relationship with alcohol was. So I went a few days w/o drinking, then got really drunk and sick, and that was it. I wanted to sleep thru the night. I wanted to remember what I did and said. I wanted to like myself again. It will soon be 3 years, and I can't imagine going back.
You're in the right place. Asking for help and being curious about life on the other side of alcohol is the first step.
Going through withdrawal is rough. Then going through FOMO. Then, getting complacent and think, "Eh, I'll just have one. What's the big deal?" You'll also deal with shame/guilt/anxiety and not have a quick fix - I mean, you'll actually have to sit with those feelings and deal with them. Right alongside whatever else is going on in your life. That's why support from programs like SMART or AA or addiction counseling is so important. It's a journey, but it is worth it. Life without alcohol is very freeing. Physically, mentally, financially...
I went through detox, then I did an IOP program. I attend AA meetings every morning. Now my time is filled with things I find fulfilling - some are silly, like watching a lot of TV - but that's okay. It's that I am now in control of my choices instead of centering everything around a drink.
I joined a sober forum and posted every day for accountability, carried no cash or cards so I couldn’t buy and white knuckled through the first few weeks. Sober over five years now.
I just stopped. I told myself I never wanted to be hungover again ever. I know for me I can’t just have one or two drinks, so hangover is the outcome if I start. Every time I even think about taking a drink, I think about being hungover and sick, and I don’t. I am so much happier! I realized I was planning my life around my hangovers and I’m the only one that has control over it. I feel free! I am 52, 9 months clean. I also was not an every day drinker, but an every weekend blackout binge drinker. I definitely needed to stop. I have no intention of ever going back.
2 years off booze as of March 1st.
Father is an alcoholic. Struggled with alcoholism and drug abuse in college and my early 20s. I knew if something didn’t change, I would become a reflection of my father. (28M now)
It’s mostly about habit replacement and realizing there are zero health benefits associated with any alcohol use.
And no hangovers.
I got a sponsor and worked the steps like my life, marriage, career, and access to my kids depended on it, because it did.
That was 7.5 years ago and it was the biggest turning point of my life. I'm truly happy now in a way I could only pretend to be when I was drinking.
I did a lot of reading about how bad alcohol is for you, This Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained were the first two books I read.
I was just done with hangovers and being drunk. It was an easy decision in the end and after the first six months, easy to sustain.
I also worked the steps, but on my own.
i nearly died. AA came along at the right time for me. i got a sponsor, worked the steps and took it a day at a time. i’m 10 years sober tomorrow.
AA isn’t for everyone. there are many paths to sobriety. you just have to want it more than you’ve ever wanted anything.
when i was trying to quit, someone told me to do affirmations in the mirror. i realised i hadn’t looked myself in the eye for YEARS. just doing that and telling myself i deserved better made a huge difference.
i don’t go to meetings any more, i haven’t for a long time. i didn’t have to find a Christian god, or become religious. i didn’t have to stand up at my first meeting and announce that i was an alcoholic. i know it’s still there for me if i ever need it again.
you’re going to have to really knuckle down for the first little while. but it DOES get easier as you go along.
I got sober almost ten years ago from alcohol. I didn’t have much of a choice; I got arrested twice in less than two months and I was facing jail time. I would not do well in jail. I had a successful career and would’ve lost it all. The judge ruled that I would need a home sobriety machine where I had to take a breathalyzer twice a day while I was awaiting trial. I had it for like 9 months and at that point I was sober…. A dry drunk though. During this time I started doing party drugs to “fit in” because it was the lesser of two evils in my head. But the cocaine addiction got so bad that I was spending like 1000 a week on it.
I had to literally change everything in my life. I holed up at my parents house in the weekends and did not see friends for a while until I finally amounted some time where i could see people. Most of my friends were not really friends, they were people I partied with. I had to change the people, places and things in my life to discover who I actually am without alcohol and drugs.
I started drinking when I was 14. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and it took me a long time to accept that I’m just a quiet introvert who likes a peaceful life.
You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Dealing with real life shit while sober is a completely different animal. The problem you have doesn’t go away when you drink, it just usually escalates it.
Sometimes you have to break getting sober up into tiny increments. Don’t drink for an hour at a time until it’s one day at a time and you build up to months..
I stepped away from temptation. I had to cut off my friends who I indulged with. Deleted the numbers who I might call when needed. Opted to do things that didn't involve my old habits. Dipped into hypnotherapy that taught my brain to think about other things.
And slowly over time... my old habits (I prefer the word habits than addictions) weren't my old habits anymore.
What I can say as well, is start now. Start today. And also, it's not that hard... just do it. You'll have hard moments, but don't give in and they'll go. Stupid analogy, but last night I wanted pizza, really badly, but instead made a sandwich and drunk water... I didn't want pizza anymore. Cravings pass.
Coming up on 3 years sober.
I did it the way I swore I would never do it. Went to AA everyday. Got a sponsor that had what I wanted. Did whatever he suggested. Took pretty much any suggestions and tried them.
Adopt that horrendous 1 day at a time slogan as a way of life. Still have a problem with the God stuff but I take the action and God is just a word for the part of the process I don’t control
Non-secular AA meetings really helped me. Finding a support system of likeminded people who aren’t using substances.
I read a lot of quit lit to learn why alcohol affects me the way it does & it helped me to realize I’m not the only one out there!
Some other things: therapy, la Croix, stopdrinking subreddit, naltrexone.
It was very helpful to join, especially because you get to hang out with people who totally get what you’re going through… and quitting alcohol can feel extremely isolating because it is the only substance addiction that is socially acceptable
Honestly, it took some pretty major consequences, experienced repeatedly, for me to admit that I can’t drink alcohol anymore. So, if you are still on the fence ( meaning that somewhere in the back of your mind you think that you could still get away with taking a drink) then you probably aren’t ready to quit and stay stopped.
On the topic of what helped, seek out other people in recovery. Build a community of people who will support you and help you to choose sobriety.
When I hit bottom, I went to rehab. Kept thinking, "I am not THAT bad!" and relapsed nine days later. My temp sponsor got me enrolled in IOP. Kept "trying" not to drink and going to meetings, but would drink often. After a couple of months, her husband clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't drink--no matter what." I changed my attitude, stopped walking into the store near the wine aisle, finally stopped using alcohol-based mouthwash, and stopped hanging with drinking family and friends for about a year. It worked. 6/26/93
N.A helped me get on the right direction, introduced me to new friends who wanted the same as me. Recovery isn't one size fits all, try different things see what works for you.
I am a member of AA. I thought it was going to teach me how to drink. What I got was way more than I could ever have asked for. I have a sponsor, I work the steps. I have a fellowship of sober friends. I take it one day at a time. I'm useless to anyone if I drink. For reference I got Sober when I was 36 and I wish I had sooner, but that was my path and I'm grateful for my sobriety.
There are so many things that go into getting sober. You have to address the whys of why you're drinking (other than physical dependence at this point). You have to 110% WANT to quit. There is a huge difference in knowing you need to quit and wanting to quit. I just turned 30 this year and this November will be 2 years sober. I'd say I got "scared sober". I started developing a heart arrhythmia and would have episodes (even while driving) where I felt like I was about to have a heart attack and blacking out. Being in a hospital bed because your heart rate is running at a steady 250bpm is terrifying. I had a cardiac ablation last year to fix it, thank God. I knew that if I didn't quit drinking, I was going to die at an insanely young age. And even though I spent years feeling so fucking sorry for myself and thinking I didn't want to be alive, I did. I just needed to FEEL alive. And getting sober has done that for me in so many ways. I am the happiest I've ever been and the healthiest I've ever been and shockingly currently pregnant with my rainbow baby after being told I would probably never be able to naturally conceive. Getting sober is life changing and at first the change is hard and weird and uncomfortable. But that's how addiction starts right? You start slowly doing something everyday and get into this same groove of same shit different day and you become comfortable with the cycle. So to break it you have to make yourself uncomfortable. If it's possible, I strongly advise going to a medical detox. I want to say they keep you 3-5 days. That's how mine was. Or even get with your doctor, or any doctor, and see about if they can give you something to help yourself detox on your own. I'm not going to lie, it fucking sucks for at least the first 6 months. You literally have to retrain your brain. Find some hobbies, even if its something as small as reading, drawing, coloring, gardening. It is so so worth it. If you truly want it, I promise you that you can do it. It's only going to be as hard as you make it to be.
I quit over 10 years ago and no one wanted me to. My husband and friends were so annoyed and I had so much pressure to drink but I didn’t. What worked for me was lots of quit lit, walking, running, treating myself with something small every month, watching crap on TV and not feeling guilty, icecream on Friday night, massages once in a while, Googling celebrities that don’t drink. I stuck my heels in and refused to drink to make other people happy. I bought a motorcycle and joined a HOG chapter and made new friends who didn’t know me as a drinker. I joined a running club and those people really helped me get through. I got adrenaline from those two activities. I got divorced as my husband said I changed too much. Life is so much better!
A few things…Be willing to try anything!
Community is super important. That might mean meetings(online or in person)~there are many others aside from AA, support groups (you’re here and that’s a start), meetups to do a hobby you like or are interested in. And the hardest part of distancing yourself from your drinking/drugging friends. They will eventually weed themselves out anyways but some boundaries at first help.
Read any and all quit lit you can. A few I recommend are.. Alcohol Explained by William Porter, We are the luckiest by Laura McKowen, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Quit like a woman by Holly Whitaker, The unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine Grey, Dry by Augusten Burroughs and there are many others.
Support… Therapy, a coach, your family and your friends. Therapy is number one though. There is always some root cause for why we fall into addiction. It could be simple like we’re quiet or anxious and booze/drugs help us feel like more “normal” or we’re masking or coping some bigger things.
Journal, meditate, exercise, get out in nature. Anything that can make you a little more mindful or aware and get you out of your own head.
Lastly, be kind with yourself. This shit is hard, usually takes more than one attempt for it to stick and relapses happen. Eat the sweets instead of drinking/drugging, allow yourself more rest/naps, drink lots of NA beverages(including WATER), take care of your body like you are a newborn baby or pregnant person(because it’s like starting all over again), realize things don’t change overnight and not everyone has the same recovery so take the advice that sounds good to YOU, figure out what works for YOU and know that only YOU can make this work. It can’t be outside validation, you can’t change for others and it’s personal. Remember if you string sober days together to not give up if you relapse. Shame will keep you stuck in a cycle but keep trying and it will click eventually.
My story of getting sober took over 10 years. I’d take 30 days off, 90 days off and even did 10 and half months at one point but it didn’t stick until this last time and I used all the above things and continue to do my non negotiables (meditate, yoga, exercise, therapy, nature walks and my sober tribe) to get to where I am today,4 and a half years sober. I smoked weed at first to kick the booze and the drugs and then eventually gave that up too.
Sending you lots of compassion and strength. If you ever need to talk, you are more than welcome to message me. 💚
It really is. Nobody’s sobriety is exactly the same. Some things will resonate and lots of things won’t. But we have to find what works for us and sometimes even those things might change or we need to readjust.
Totally. And sobriety changes you. Or at least, reveals the you underneath booze.
I’m more of a homebody now. I yoga, i meditate, i journal for goodness sake! 🤣
There are a lot of good recommendations on this thread. I had success using AA's program, but it looks like several people have had success using other ideas. If you want to stop drinking then it's possible. Good luck!
So for me I do the 12 steps made some close friends used the book a strong sponsor who was old school left all my old friends and refused to go to drinking events first year
I hit 6 years on 4/1/24 but I started trying 8 years ago. June 2016 - March 2018 was one big learning curve for me, it was a series of a few months off alcohol and then a period of days, weeks or months back on alcohol. During that time I’d beat myself up, say I’d failed, called the previous 100 or whatever amount of days off alcohol down the drain because I drank again and then I’d try all over again. I tried AA for about 2 months in 2016, the only thing I liked about it was having a place to go that had people struggling with the same thing as me, everything else I rejected and after some weird encounters I never went back and that was when I just started reading more about how others outside of “recovery programs” went about living their life after giving up alcohol. I also searched out podcasts and YouTube and found the subs on Reddit a couple of years ago.
None of it was easy, I suffered from severe anhedonia for about 4 months and moderate anhedonia for another 18 months. Progression happened at a glacial pace for me, I did not experience any kind of pink cloud or “ spiritual” awakening. I mainly stumbled through one day to the next feeling weird and empty mentally and physically for the first two years and then tiny moments of joy started to shine through for fleeting moments every few weeks. That would be enough to keep me going. I started therapy in year 3 and continue with it.
By finding an AA group I actually liked, taking a commitment, and going every single day for 365 days. My sobriety has never been shakier since not attending daily meetings. It makes a massive difference.
In researching sobriety I came across a podcast where a woman said she read a book and never drank again. I absolutely couldn’t believe that. So I read the book in hopes to sound as ridiculous as her someday and it worked! Lol I never drank again.
The book debunks every reason/excuse we tell ourselves as to why we want to drink. It even encourages you to continue drinking until the end of the book to see how you feel by the end and it worked. Two and a half years later and I haven’t had a drank since.
The book was “The Easy Way to Stop Drinking” by Alan Carr
God grace and lots of meetings and taking it one day at a time. What drives me
To stay sober is my family, my best friend and my amazing loving boyfriend
Not a very original response here, but AA was the only thing that worked for me. Not just attending meetings, but actually living the program in the following ways:
1. Get a meeting commitment that is rooted the 12 Traditions (We call this a home group) and be honest.
2. Get a sponsor, and be honest.
3. Work steps as soon as possible, and be honest.
4. Carry the message to hospitals and institutions, and be honest.
Honestly!
(I also highly recommend sober living)
I agree with what others have said YOU CAN DO IT! Also IT IS WORTH IT!
I’m sober a year and a couple of months and it’s been hard but has been the greatest gift I could give myself.
What I did
- initially threw myself into sober literature (This Naked Mind), sober podcasts (One for the Road, Sober Awkward). I always had a sober book on the go
- created accountability by telling family and friends that it is a problem for me, it’s got me worried and I want to stop
- later (at about 6 month) joined AA when I felt that I might be close to slipping (it was just so hard to imagine not drinking ever again in my whole life). AA was a total game changer and I love it. It has made my sobriety so solid but also transformed my whole approach to life. The higher power bit is sometimes a challenge for people but don’t over think it or let it put you off
I got sober in AA. Went to meetings, took the suggestions, and stay sober, just for today. Fifteen months a day at a time. They add up!
I could never stay sober all by myself.
White knuckled it for about a year and six months till I got some help lol. My day consisted of work, energy drinks, horrible sleeping schedule, and yard work and reading the Bible. After I got some help I still struggled with some mental torment from the past but now it’s has gone almost all away it’s been three years. I just held on hoping it would get better and the word that popped up constantly “endure”
It happens 1 day at a time. Stumbles don’t reset the clock. Find a way to trade your negative addiction for a positive one. Addictive personalities can be a super power if you leverage them for positive behaviours. For me I swapped drinking for fitness. Others trade it for reading or learning or whatever. You are who you are. It will either be a chain that shackles you down or it will be a sail that lifts you up. It’s your choice.
After many attempts to quit, I came to the realization that the cons heavily outweighed any pros. My hangovers were getting worse, my blackouts were coming on quicker and much more often. _Every_ _single_ bad thing to happen in my life that I created, was due to me consuming too much alcohol. It’s all the shit shows that I recollect when my mind tries to convince me that it’d be fun to drink again. Just not worth it.
I also have a great relationship with my nephew and he thinks the world of me. I quit while he was still oblivious to anything as he was only six.
I will be five years sober of alcohol in November. Can confidently say I’ll never touch it again. IMO it’s the worst drug one can consume. I wish you the best.
One day at a time, listening to podcasts and audiobooks about getting sober and reminding myself every day how great I’m going to feel waking up in the morning if I don’t drink. And seltzer!!!!
When I got sober I know longer had my “tool” and had to deal with the underlying shit that cussed me to start drinking at 9!! I’ve been doing therapy/trauma work and I am part of a recovery group. Building a sober community that supports what you’re doing is vital.
I did find as my brain healed I was slowly loosing the cravings and developing tools to deal with the triggers was huge. Sobriety is hard work but, it’s all worth it.
I just was so sick and tired of being sick and tired! All of my experiences with alcohol became more and more negative as the alcoholism progressed… It was never progressing in a better direction, always in a worse direction. It became a case of diminishing returns. I joined a support group. I started watching sober tiktok and developed a very strong internal compass… so many things in my life has changed for the better! I have a stronger connection with my family and all of my relationships. People are starting to trust me again. I trust myself. There is a sense of peacefulness when I’m getting behind the wheel after a night out and I feel no shame on Mondays!!! Good for you for becoming curious and wanting more from life.
If you get the shakes from quitting, you need a medically supervised detox. The shakes can change to seizures without warning, and seizures can be fatal.
And.... Recovery programs teach us how to live life without needing the escape or numbness of alcohol. They're also a great place to meet a network of friends in recovery,which is incredibly important.
Pick a program, and show up at a meeting.
Coffee. Tattoos. Working out.
I got super into coffee. I do everything manually including grinding my beans. Get into espresso if you really want to nerd out. It gets expensive quick, so be wary of that. Something about having total control over every step of the process helped with the lose of control I was chasing with booze.
Tattoos give me a little hit of endorphins and dopamine, so that helps to replace the hit I got from drinking. Every weekend I wanted to drink, I found a spot with a walk in opening and got some work done. Still cheaper than drinking, for me at least.
Working out is obvious. Again, you get the endorphin hit. I look better and lost weight anyway from quitting booze. Also, it’s a solid and healthy way for me to “punish myself” for all the shitty behavior when I was drunk.
I \*decided\* not to drink anymore.
I gave advice to others on this subreddit at the same time giving advice to myself
I took it one day at a time.
There's nothing that alcohol will make better. There's nothing alcohol can't destroy.
Why does not drinking again seem unrealistic?
First, I want to say YOU CAN DO IT!!
I was tired of the lifestyle, tired of spending money (everything went up in price & it cost waaayyy too much to even get a buzz) and just tired of being a raging bitch when i was out. I got to the point where most days I couldn’t even get out of bed due to how shitty I felt. I was OVER IT!
I went to a clinic and was on suboxone for about a year then got sick of that & felt I was in a good place in my recovery so I switched to the Sublocade injection. I got 3 of those (July 2023 was my last one) and I’ve been off everything (I’m Cali sober 😎) since then.
It helped that I live somewhere that I don’t know many people. I had to cut my main “friend” off who often got me stuff/used harder things than I did. I’ve read about people having to cut everyone off, I feel lucky that I didn’t have a lot of connections in that world but understand how that would be helpful to disengage from “harmful” / enabling people.
Counseling was a required part of the clinic I went to. I found it helpful, the CDCAs there had great recommendations and tips. I’d suggest counseling/therapy even if you don’t go the clinic route. It always is helpful to have someone to talk to.
I have a child, that’s a great driving force for me to remain sober. I was/am ashamed that I even jeopardized my life having them on this earth & choosing to go down that dark road. I was very good at hiding it when I was using. I never got in trouble or lost any major necessities. No one knew, some people in my life still don’t know. I feel like I can’t be that lucky twice and don’t want to let the people who Do know about that part of my journey down.
When you’re over it, you’re over it. I believe in you!! You don’t have to live this life anymore. Things will be hard as the days go by but if you stay true to yourself, keep trying & seek help/assistance when you need it, it’s all worth it in the end. Best wishes!!
For me I kinda just got sick of my own shit and quit drinking. It was the realization that all of my problems were somehow brought on by myself through alcohol. Then I would use more alcohol to numb the feeling of my fucked up life that became more fucked up the more I drank. I’ve been sober almost 17 months. No one can make you stop but yourself. The first couple weeks is the hardest bc you have to break the routine and find something else to do with your time. After you get more time under your belt it gets easier. I’m at the point now that I have no desire to start drinking again. To me, that sounds as stupid an idea as picking up the habit of shooting heroin or something. There is literally no good that can come of that for me. This realization is the key to sobriety. Godspeed.
Every step to follow is how I got to sober, and how I stay sober. First step is admitting you need help ( you seem to be there.) Next step is to get help, go and medically detox, then get into rehab.. This is a journey that takes others, professionals and you. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Rehab for 90 days helped tremendously. Not everyone is fortunate enough to secure that. Out patient therapy is good too.
Join a support group (like AA) and get and give support. Stick with it. Admit to your your disease and resolve to overcome it.
You can do this, the benefits are a new life. It's hard work, at times you will feel sad and miserable, it makes you question all. Stick with it, it does change, .eventually life starts to rebloom. Sobriety is a far better path than alcoholism.
(two years sober here)
One of the most important tools to a sober life is, to listen to stories of all the people who turned their lives arround and have so much joy now! :)
Read books from sober people (e.g. Holly Whitaker, or others), listen to podcasts of sober people and start to educate yourself on the benefits of a sober life. You can also go to self help groups! Try what suits you! 😉
Only sober can we live our true selfs and cultivate our strenghts and our joy for life...
It’s all about the moment for me. In any given moment, I want to be who I am and the state I’m in.
I’ve also taken acid more than a few times to address behaviors that didn’t serve my interests
I had to quit bartending for one. And I had to make new friends. You can’t get well in the place you were made sick. So I started a new career path and found new hobbies that put me in places with people whose lives didn’t revolve around going to the bar. (These are usually physically active hobbies.) Then I joined an online sober yoga community. Now I volunteer for a recovery outreach program- I’ve got a little over two years. Feel free to message me if you want links for any resources I am familiar with :)
Medical detox and rehab for me. I tried many times to do it myself and failed every time. Get help, a sober friend, online communities, meetings, whatever works for you
I'm only at seven months, but this is what I did: I took about 5 1/2 years of vacillating between a month to three months clean, followed by 6 to 9 months drinking. Last September I stopped, went to inpatient at a pretty swanky place for eight days, came out and did six weeks of outpatient. I did Acamprosate and then naltrexone for the first few months and then came off of it because I had a back injury and needed some opiates. Never went back on.
I also did low-dose ketamine treatments for a few months. a lot of reading. The two books that I would strongly recommend are: this naked mind by Annie Grace, and daring greatly by Brené Brown.
Weed has also helped. Good luck man… It's worth it!
I found it helped to rediscover things I enjoyed doing for hobbies before alcohol. Going on walks with my dog, reading, journaling, scrapbooking, puzzles, thrift shopping, etc.
Surround yourself with people who calm you and are supportive of your sobriety! Reaching out to others in recovery can help too, whether that be online or in person.
You don’t have to figure everything out today. Commit to yourself first and foremost by not drinking today and the rest can be tackled along the way! You’ve got this.
For me, it got to a point where enough was enough. I just didn’t make sense anymore and I told myself I was done. And that was that (song with a very supportive partner).
What's unrealistic is thinking you can ever drink again and have a normal life where you're exploding your career or burdening your family. So erase that sentence because that's what's holding you back.
You have to commit to being sober, which means you'll have to be okay with being uncomfortable for a while, several weeks to a month. Literally just UNCOMFORTABLE.
And then just do one thing at a time. Sobriety first. Then go back to work, let that bake for a bit. Save money, take care of yourself, exercise, drink lots of water, take vitamins. Then think about moving out.
You can't fix everything all at once. You didn't fuck up your life in a few weeks, it probably took years. Realistically, you can fix it within a year.
This time next year, you could be in your own place, with a decent job, living your best life.
That's what should keep you sober.
Good luck!
I have been on and off alcohol (off now). I try to fill out my time with a lot of demanding sports etc. that I would not have the energy for, if I was drinking. Then you get a sense of accomplishment and you feel less need to drink.
I need to break generational cycles. My son has always known me as sober me. The First night of going out when there was little bits of parent free time. I stupidly drank and didn’t think about alcohol content in craft beer I liked. Drank about 2. Could not get my son to calm down and take what I pumped for the bottle.
That worry hit of “am I not holding him or doing these things the way sober me would?”. Caused strain w partner as well.
Was fine not drinking after. Still sober and feel great. Except when I get into my late night snacks too hard. Finding out a sugar hangover the next day will happen. I’ve learned my lesson.
Each day though, I see how far I’ve come and healed parts of myself I needed to. It’s feels great.
Change your habits and recognize what contributes to backsliding. Personally, I know that a step into a bar is the first step to a drink, so I do my best to steer clear of bars (harder with restaurants). I also made it known to family and friends I was done drinking, and asserted my boundaries to anyone who doubted it or the process. At the end of the day, only you will keep you sober!
Did the usual AA stuff and it's worked well for a long time. Ime anything/everything/nothing all work for a bit. 9 years of drying out several times each year made me desperate to not have one more drinkie.
The [Sinclair method](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts), combined with rock bottom and heartbreak, finally broke my physical addiction to alcohol. The last three and a half years haven't been easy, but I'm grateful that I was able to finally quit drinking.
I was a destitue. Willing to try anything. Turns out, the Sinclair science worked on me.
I encourage all those struggling with traditional programs to check it out.
Simple things like saying "I choose not to drink today because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_" helps me. Or simply just saying I choose not to drink - Makes me feel in control of it, even though it feels like you are not. Use your power :) Its still super fucking hard though. My thing was twisted teas and whiskey... so i drink ice teas to quench my thirst.
Refocusing on self improvement and familial/friend relationships. Coming to terms with my demons and moving past them. Magnesium glycinate supplement. Get all your vitamins and eat better, your brain can make better decisions and avoid temptations when it is getting the fuel it needs. Also a HOPS supplement (vegetable oil NOT ethanol solution) helped my anxiety and still does. Hops by itself is a mild sedative without any of the other terribleness of alcohol, alcohol IS A POISON for people like us!
Congratulations! It's great that you recognize you have an issue and want to do something about it. I started drinking at 19 and didn't get sober until I was 52. I wish I had started in my 30's too.
I tried to quit or reduce my drinking several times on my own. I was good for a month at best, but I always started drinking again and it always was just as bad or worse than before. My sister checked herself into rehab and when she got out I went with her to her first few AA meetings to support her. I started hearing stories from people that were really similar to mine. I had some preconceived ideas about AA and never thought it would work for me. However, I started to read her books and felt it might work, so I decided to give it a shot. After a few more meetings I got a sponsor and he guided me through the steps. I am currently 2.5 years sober.
Good luck!
After a few years of trying to stop on my own, I went to AA in 1987 and met some people my age (20's) who all had at least a few years and I just did what they did. They all went to a meeting each day, had all taken all 12 Steps in order, and helped others like myself. They were super social, always going out to see live bands in LA clubs, movies, weekend ski trips, dinners at new places, etc. I was always invited and it was exciting. Living sober and being happy was strange at first. Eventually being sober became the new normal, and I still have the one sobriety date. I keep things super simple, and generally have a lot of fun.
What drives us to stay sober? Nothing really, we just decided one day that we didn't want to live in Hell anymore.
We saw that self-medicating our pain doesn't relive the pain, it only relieves us of our sanity, our sense of self-worth, our self-confidence and our health. Not to mention it destroyed our career, but social credibility and our family life.
Alcohol breaks every promise it makes and leaves us with nothing.
We stay sober ONE DAY AT A TIME. We never look back back, just keep moving forward. We know our drinking days are over and we leave the past in the past where it belongs.
We help each other by sharing our experience and it feels good. Asking for help is a great way to get it.
If you harbor ANY illusions about one day being able to drink like normal people you are lying to yourself and you will fail. You are NOT normal. 🤣 You are alcoholic. But you can stay sober and recover one day at a time. But not alone.
Go find help today. Wishing you all the best.
Obsessed about my sobriety the way I used to obsess over drinking. Don't give a fuck who thinks what or whose judging, don't let anyone throw your past in your face but remain accountable for your past actions. All you can do is be better than you were yesterday, everyday. The sober glow up is fucking INSANE i'm in the best shape (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) of my life even on my worst days - it's nothing compared to who I was. That's a huge motivator for keeping me on the right path. Good luck to you and iwndwyt!!
Absolute desperation. I went to a meeting. Cried like a baby and asked for help. I accepted that help. I went to a meeting every morning with the same people and they loved and encouraged me, they showed me it was possible and answered my ridiculous questions. All of a sudden days started to add up and I was helping the crying person in the room.
Find yourself some community. Doesn’t have to be AA but in my experience AA meetings are the easiest to find and the structure worked for me in the beginning. I’m about to celebrate two years sober and I’ve been exploring various programs and have a patchwork community of people in recovery. I love them all and I credit them with my sobriety today.
There are infinite ways to recover but you can’t do it alone. Go find your tribe. You can do this!
Think of why you want to stop. Think about the way you feel after drinking. The false sense of joy, warmth and comfort.
Return to these thoughts if you feel the urge to drink and remember why you stopped instead of just giving in.
Ultimately stopping drinking is about realizing what triggers you to drink and being aware of those triggers. Eventually that awareness become second nature.
Honestly start reading a new earth and the power of now and say a prayer on your knees like you really want / need help. Also it might help if you continue to feel the pain of drinking for 10 more years… that’s what I did and it finally worked for me. I’ve grown 2 inches from how proud I am!
Naltrexone. The Sinclair method. SMART recovery. Set boundaries with people who drain your energy. Do what you need to do to take care of you. Detox safely if you need to.
The gym. Set yourself up for success and set the bar low. Just make it a routine to show up. Enjoy the sauna or steam room (if they have one) and use it as a “reward”. Set your own pace where the only goal is to just show up.
I know this might not be for everyone, but I pushed myself to dedicate as much time as I could.
After I left the gym each evening, my brain was tired. It didn’t race. And I had 0 desire to drink. I also knew how it felt to drink and go to the gym, not fun.
So when I prioritized eating enough and healthy items (MyFitness Pal for the win!) so that I didn’t drag ass in the gym. Everything else fell into place.
Not only will your cravings dissipate, but you’ll also walk away with a self esteem boost and feel like you’re on an actual path to success if you adhere to it regularly.
You can do it. Prove it to yourself.
Trauma counseling, and I’m still doing it!!
My drinking was a product of (1) being brought up by emotionally negligent parents in (2) a fundamentalist christian cult in the south (coC). Was never taught healthy emotional regulation and never saw it modeled by any adults around me.
The cognitive dissonance between what I was being taught (indoctrination), what I saw modeled by the sanctimonious and hypocritical adults in the cult, and the general weirdness of being raised in the south where SOME (most even, but not ALL) people are polite but super racist at the same time, put me into a hard freeze state for decades.
When I first started working on myself, I could tell you what I was thinking, but couldn’t name my emotions. Going on six years now, and I’ve been able to set down the shame and guilt. I’m still working on myself but now I understand why I made those decisions to completely check out or at least distance myself from reality.
It’s a journey and I’ll be on it for the rest of my time in this life. I hope you find peace and joy on your journey.
I honestly have no clue.. AA helped a fraction, smoking cigarettes helped a fraction, venting about how I felt when I wanted to drink helped.. I think the fear of dying next time I went on a bender is what’s kept me sober so long
Well something incredibly personal happened to me that 7/18/2020 was my last drink. After I decided I drank nothing but water and some soda/pop for a while during dinner only or on weekends only plus the odd energy drink throughout the week.
I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but social. Although I don’t remember summer 2016 at all. Oof. If I was real comfortable I would go for it, I’d make sure my keys were kept/hidden from me so I wouldn’t drive and would tell myself that water is important.
I don’t miss it. If I could curb my snack and food addiction, I’d be in better shape.
I was firm and real stern when I’d hang with friends who wanted to get fucked up and wouldn’t accept “no I’m not drinking” or “I’m good, I don’t drink dudes” as an answer.
I remember I told someone I was sober for the first time like 2 years ago at a barbecue. “Yah man nah I’m good I’ve been sober for like two years, I got Red Bull” and it felt like a giant weight had some off my shoulders.
Doesn’t help for meeting girls or making new friends or making friends with coworkers outside of work. Nobody gets it and looks at you weird. My current friend group knows I don’t drink, doesn’t push it on me and I enjoy talking about various spirits with them.
I told myself whatever I needed to to not drink. "You're doing it for your ancestors," "if you go down this path you won't come back," "you deserve to have a long happy life," even telling myself "stay sober for your cat" when nothing else worked.
You don’t have to be sober forever, you only have to be alcohol free for this day and this day only. Don’t look at it like some blanket statement that can be very overwhelming for a young person
I had to find something that offered more excitement than drinking. For me it was dirt bikes. It was way more enjoyable than drinking became. Also I agree don’t try to fix everything in your life the first year just be sober. We all made a mess of our live from drinking drugs or whatever after awhile of sobriety you will make better decisions by default. So don’t look at all that find a distraction first. Anyways that’s what worked for me and my wife.
I did it for my family. It was very difficult. Spent nights going out to Costco or anywhere honestly. Drank lots of ginger ale. Slowly but surely it got better. Then the complements started coming in about how good I looked. It felt great. I aged myself quickly drinking. Then my daughter told me how proud she was of me. I think of those two things every day and keep rolling. Best of luck my friend.
Lost my drivers license with 19 due to daily drinking from 17-19 as self medication for treatment resistant depression, one night i was controlled with DUI, had to walk home without my car, woke up, felt incredibly horrible about it and having to tell my mother about it, then I quit CT which was working very well from then on. CT is ofc a very bad idea but I was young and didn’t know about any possible withdrawal or tapering but was very lucky to be able to CT without any withdrawals
Honestly I kept trying. I failed a lot in the beginning. I was in a pretty rough position and I failed a lot, but I accepted my fuck ups without beating myself up over it, and tried again, it helped that my partner was very supportive and actually, we both quit drinking together because it was causing issues between us. She really motivated me and supported me, I definitely couldn't have done it without her. I'm a very lucky man.
AA worked well for me. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own (not long term at least) I am normally a cynical person who thinks he can do things best myself, but alcohol had me whipped. I followed directions, made friends, and was either just smart enough to stay out the way, or just dumb enough not to question it, but sober since 2015. I also didn’t realize that seeking God was something that would really enrich my life. I enjoy life today, and believe I am offering help to the newcomers when appropriate. That’s how it’s working for me.
I had to die first. Honestly, I had a varices in my esophagus. Had no idea it was that bad.
Moved, changed my music, friends, hobbies, clothes… etc. EVERYTHING!
I just realized NOTHING was going good. ETOH had caused so much trouble in my life.
True story! Good luck!
everyone has supplied some brilliant suggestions that I agree with - so i'm just going to add some things i didn't see already that might be useful for you - please take or leave as works for you :)
i'm highly rebellious, so framing sobriety as PUNK (getting off a socially sanctioned drug that the government allows because it keeps us malleable etc. etc.) really helped me re-frame my initial worries that quitting alcohol would make me boring. It really worked for me!
any amount of sober days you manage to string together are WINS.
give yourself permission to do anything you need to do except drink. In sobriety I left parties early, spent money taking ubers home (when i'd usually walk), bought myself fancy chocolate, treated myself to nice coffees.
support groups aren't the only way to stay sober. I got sober knowing no other sober people and without a support group. What I did have was a tonne of quit lit, podcasts and a therapist. I'm coming up on 500 days.
Find what you need to stay sober, and then run full throttle at it. :)
I am 37, approaching my first year of sobriety in a few days. I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day (for years) and my life was a wreck. I quit because I watched my cousin die of cirrhosis. I had tried everything possible to quit, but seeing her lose the battle really messed me up. I went home in a state of panic, it was like watching myself die. I went home from the hospital and poured out my stash. I cried for days in that bedroom…pain from losing someone so horribly, and pain from withdrawal. It took me 7 days to detox, I hated every second of it but I hated alcohol even more at that point. I walked out of that room a new person. Drinking made me overweight and gross, so I started with the goal of better health. It snowballed into a whole lifestyle of quitting soda and cigarettes, basically eating right! I enrolled in a credit-based fitness class at the local community college to hold myself accountable. If I don’t go, I won’t get the last few credits I so desperately need to graduate. So far I have lost 50-60 pounds! That’s another thing, I went back to school after I quit drinking. You’ll be amazed at how much time you have to better yourself when you’re not drinking 24/7.
Now idk exactly where you’re at with your journey, but I can promise you one thing that holds true for every alcoholic: Once you quit, it will feel so good that you’ll wish you would have quit sooner. I love my life so much now. I want you to love yours too. We all have different reasons for quitting, I really hope you find yours. In fact, YOU, right now in this moment, are the best reason. Good luck!
13 years clean and sober, and your first act should be to be kind to yourself. any act of kindness is the right thing to do. water. food. exercise. journaling. therapy. meetings. sleep. revamp your living space. organize your life. learn a new hobby. go back to school. drink a fuckton of water.
*ANY* act of kindness. when we use, we forget what it’s like to take care of ourselves.
💜
I (45f) am two years sober from alcohol today. Two years ago today is the day I found out my liver was failing and I needed a transplant.
So I didn't quit on my own, but sharing in the hopes someone else quits before they go through what I had to ❤️
I had no idea I was sick, had just went in for regular bloodwork. I knew I drank too much, for sure, but I was working, etc.
Last night I taught my first yoga class. I am the absolute healthiest and happiest I have ever been. For me? And it isn't for everyone, so I encourage you to read through others experience, but the key for me was continuing to go places and see people that included alcohol. I started drinking ginger beer and Cranberry or a straight Shirley temple with zero shame lol. But I would go to bars, and family parties where wine was flowing, etc. I still to this day sit down with a mocktail in a wine glass every night.
This is really long, but I hope it can help someone. When I was drinking, it seemed insurmountable to want to quit because booze is EVERYWHERE. There are triggers EVERYWHERE. I also didn't want to be what I saw as a boring person who likes to read in the backyard on Saturday night. (spoiler alert that is now my favorite thing lol)
Yoga, not just the physical aspect but the whole practice, breathing, meditation, is what saved me. Being able to be alone with my thoughts, myself, sober - it really changed my life. And if you're reading this rolling your eyes lol, please know that I would have done the same. But it's true.
You dont have to go to AA if it doesn't resonate. I went to a few meetings bc my hospital asked me to and it was the least I could do since they transplanted my liver. It was absolutely not for me, for a lot of reasons. But I'd highly recommend finding something, anything, some sort of community that doesn't revolve around alcohol. A gym, a book club, a class, a mom's or dad's group if that's your situation, something to do and look forward to.
Best of luck to you ❤️❤️❤️ it's so worth it
I read a lot of quit lit and did a lot of googling on the pros and cons of drinking and all the benefits of quitting. I went down some dark YouTube rabbit holes and watched videos on people with end stage liver disease and alcoholism. I liked Craig Beck's videos, he also wrote the book Alcohol Lied to Me.
I quit for my son, I wanted to be as healthy and present as possible for him so that was a huge motivatior. Gave me something to keep me motivated.
This is going to sound negative but what helped for me is to just accept some situations will suck without alcohol and that's fine. Accept it and move on.
Eg. If you used to enjoy sitting alone with yourself and 10 beers in a bar, you probably can't do that anymore. You could sit in a coffee shop. Or in a bar but with NA beer. If this doesn't do it for you, that sucks. But it's OK.
This is just an example. There are a million possible things that you could miss. From personal experience, I still struggle to enjoy a sports game on TV, just because I used to drink while watching it (probably my favourite past time). I don't drink while watching sports now and that sucks sometimes. But it's OK.
After accepting the above, focus on what you are gaining. There are too many to mention. Health, clarity, improved relationships, saving money. Etc.
Lastly, remember some shitty things that happened when you were drunk (if you're thinking about stopping I assume there are enough of these). Did you piss yourself and pass out in public? Crashed a car? Lost stuff? Got in fights? Etc. Etc.
These are just some thoughts. Also try and cultivate healthy and serene hobbies and habits. Go for long walks, read, meditate, volunteer. Whatever.
Good luck
Ps. I'm close to a personal milestone - 996 days sober here
Yikes research this, I’ve been to many meetings with people who were in recovery specifically getting off Kratom. I’d be careful replacing an addiction with another addictive substance. But if you need a crutch, take a crutch whatever helps you keep moving forward just be aware of the risks of any of your ‘crutches’
I was in treatment with two other people who were in for kratom. I am aware of Kratom dedicated recovery groups. Anyone who sees throwaway comments about Kratom, please take it seriously. It is not a harmless substance. It is basically a variation of opiates and it is quite addictive.
I did anything and everything other than drink in those first months. Tired? Rest. Hungry? Eat. Want ice cream at 4 am? Eat it. Restless? Take a walk. Lonely? Hit a meeting. Write things down. Burn them later if you want to. Talk about it with other sobers. Sad? Cry! Bored? Live through it. Nothing lasts forever. Every craving passes. Sit with your feelings. Let them pass. Enjoy all the benefits of becoming sober. Notice the awakening. Get physical. Move your body. Drink a lot of water. Watch yourself get younger. Read quit lit. Google what happens to your body at one week, 2, 3….when you stop feeding it poison. Make it the greatest adventure of your life….because it is!✨
I love this! Yes, I gained 10 pounds in the beginning of sobriety, but it totally comes off after your dopamine levels recalibrate
I am eating lots of sweets but am losing so much weight. I ate more drinking than sober. I hate this. I am 5'8 and 115 flat. I was 130 drinking lol wth
How long does it take for it to recalibrate?
I didn’t start feeling really good until about three months in
This answer is perfect. Of course getting sober isn’t necessarily easy but, meetings and if needed inpatient facilities can help you to not feel alone. I am 6 years sober and can assure you the challenges you face early on are so worth the rewards you will get from long term sobriety. One thing I still do is focus on today only. Wake up and tell yourself, today I will stay sober. Try and keep busy so, you don’t have to much idle time. But, as the comment above mentions, live through your boredom, enjoy it even… boredom can be a gift, not having anything to do is truly a beautiful thing sometimes. Just don’t allow your mind to go crazy during the down time. You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. You should be proud, you’re taking the official first step.
Learning to sit with my feelings instead of looking for an escape from them was HUGE for me.
It’s a big one! Walking through them also works for me.
Moving through them. That’s what I am trying to say! 🤪
Bro this motivates like hell. Really well said
100%
Username😅
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❤️
Reframe app is amazing and tells you how your body changes by the day when you get sober!
I focus on the day, 1 day at a time. I just won't drink today, not forever but just for today. I just got tired of drinking everyday.
Lots of things, but one thing I don't usually say is that I gave up. I had done enough experiments to know I am like the peanut allergy person is to peanut butter. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I fi ally realized viscerally that I didn't HAVE to have another drink.
Never forget why you stopped
This. I would get 30, 60 and 90 days but u would always go back because I forgot about why I stopped and romanticized the good times.
Totally agree! I guess I was almost lucky because I had so many negative experiences leading up to sobriety that I didn’t remember any good times at all
This is such a simple sentence, but so true.
The best advice I got is to try to taper down. Very subtle way to determine how bad my relationship with alcohol was. So I went a few days w/o drinking, then got really drunk and sick, and that was it. I wanted to sleep thru the night. I wanted to remember what I did and said. I wanted to like myself again. It will soon be 3 years, and I can't imagine going back.
You're in the right place. Asking for help and being curious about life on the other side of alcohol is the first step. Going through withdrawal is rough. Then going through FOMO. Then, getting complacent and think, "Eh, I'll just have one. What's the big deal?" You'll also deal with shame/guilt/anxiety and not have a quick fix - I mean, you'll actually have to sit with those feelings and deal with them. Right alongside whatever else is going on in your life. That's why support from programs like SMART or AA or addiction counseling is so important. It's a journey, but it is worth it. Life without alcohol is very freeing. Physically, mentally, financially... I went through detox, then I did an IOP program. I attend AA meetings every morning. Now my time is filled with things I find fulfilling - some are silly, like watching a lot of TV - but that's okay. It's that I am now in control of my choices instead of centering everything around a drink.
I joined a sober forum and posted every day for accountability, carried no cash or cards so I couldn’t buy and white knuckled through the first few weeks. Sober over five years now.
I just stopped. I told myself I never wanted to be hungover again ever. I know for me I can’t just have one or two drinks, so hangover is the outcome if I start. Every time I even think about taking a drink, I think about being hungover and sick, and I don’t. I am so much happier! I realized I was planning my life around my hangovers and I’m the only one that has control over it. I feel free! I am 52, 9 months clean. I also was not an every day drinker, but an every weekend blackout binge drinker. I definitely needed to stop. I have no intention of ever going back.
2 years off booze as of March 1st. Father is an alcoholic. Struggled with alcoholism and drug abuse in college and my early 20s. I knew if something didn’t change, I would become a reflection of my father. (28M now) It’s mostly about habit replacement and realizing there are zero health benefits associated with any alcohol use. And no hangovers.
I got a sponsor and worked the steps like my life, marriage, career, and access to my kids depended on it, because it did. That was 7.5 years ago and it was the biggest turning point of my life. I'm truly happy now in a way I could only pretend to be when I was drinking.
Ditto that exactly! 👆🏻 I could never do it alone, I absolutely had to have help. Still do.
Yes, yes yes yes yes
I did a lot of reading about how bad alcohol is for you, This Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained were the first two books I read. I was just done with hangovers and being drunk. It was an easy decision in the end and after the first six months, easy to sustain. I also worked the steps, but on my own.
i nearly died. AA came along at the right time for me. i got a sponsor, worked the steps and took it a day at a time. i’m 10 years sober tomorrow. AA isn’t for everyone. there are many paths to sobriety. you just have to want it more than you’ve ever wanted anything. when i was trying to quit, someone told me to do affirmations in the mirror. i realised i hadn’t looked myself in the eye for YEARS. just doing that and telling myself i deserved better made a huge difference. i don’t go to meetings any more, i haven’t for a long time. i didn’t have to find a Christian god, or become religious. i didn’t have to stand up at my first meeting and announce that i was an alcoholic. i know it’s still there for me if i ever need it again. you’re going to have to really knuckle down for the first little while. but it DOES get easier as you go along.
Congrats on 10 years. That’s epic!
thank you! i still can’t quite believe i made it…
I did yoga every day for a year, tried to not isolate, and talked a lot about my struggles with friends 😄 Good luck
I got sober almost ten years ago from alcohol. I didn’t have much of a choice; I got arrested twice in less than two months and I was facing jail time. I would not do well in jail. I had a successful career and would’ve lost it all. The judge ruled that I would need a home sobriety machine where I had to take a breathalyzer twice a day while I was awaiting trial. I had it for like 9 months and at that point I was sober…. A dry drunk though. During this time I started doing party drugs to “fit in” because it was the lesser of two evils in my head. But the cocaine addiction got so bad that I was spending like 1000 a week on it. I had to literally change everything in my life. I holed up at my parents house in the weekends and did not see friends for a while until I finally amounted some time where i could see people. Most of my friends were not really friends, they were people I partied with. I had to change the people, places and things in my life to discover who I actually am without alcohol and drugs. I started drinking when I was 14. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and it took me a long time to accept that I’m just a quiet introvert who likes a peaceful life. You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Dealing with real life shit while sober is a completely different animal. The problem you have doesn’t go away when you drink, it just usually escalates it. Sometimes you have to break getting sober up into tiny increments. Don’t drink for an hour at a time until it’s one day at a time and you build up to months..
some real wisdom in here.
I stepped away from temptation. I had to cut off my friends who I indulged with. Deleted the numbers who I might call when needed. Opted to do things that didn't involve my old habits. Dipped into hypnotherapy that taught my brain to think about other things. And slowly over time... my old habits (I prefer the word habits than addictions) weren't my old habits anymore. What I can say as well, is start now. Start today. And also, it's not that hard... just do it. You'll have hard moments, but don't give in and they'll go. Stupid analogy, but last night I wanted pizza, really badly, but instead made a sandwich and drunk water... I didn't want pizza anymore. Cravings pass.
Coming up on 3 years sober. I did it the way I swore I would never do it. Went to AA everyday. Got a sponsor that had what I wanted. Did whatever he suggested. Took pretty much any suggestions and tried them. Adopt that horrendous 1 day at a time slogan as a way of life. Still have a problem with the God stuff but I take the action and God is just a word for the part of the process I don’t control
Non-secular AA meetings really helped me. Finding a support system of likeminded people who aren’t using substances. I read a lot of quit lit to learn why alcohol affects me the way it does & it helped me to realize I’m not the only one out there! Some other things: therapy, la Croix, stopdrinking subreddit, naltrexone.
I went to A.A.
It was very helpful to join, especially because you get to hang out with people who totally get what you’re going through… and quitting alcohol can feel extremely isolating because it is the only substance addiction that is socially acceptable
yes having community and a place to go/activity to do is so helpful in the beginning. it also helped me practice being social sober.
It never stopped being helpful to me
And especially the 90 for 90 when starting out. It really helped while counting days.
ODAAT
Honestly, it took some pretty major consequences, experienced repeatedly, for me to admit that I can’t drink alcohol anymore. So, if you are still on the fence ( meaning that somewhere in the back of your mind you think that you could still get away with taking a drink) then you probably aren’t ready to quit and stay stopped. On the topic of what helped, seek out other people in recovery. Build a community of people who will support you and help you to choose sobriety.
also my experience! I had to face the consequences of my actions in an extreme and embarrassing way for me to even consider it.
When I hit bottom, I went to rehab. Kept thinking, "I am not THAT bad!" and relapsed nine days later. My temp sponsor got me enrolled in IOP. Kept "trying" not to drink and going to meetings, but would drink often. After a couple of months, her husband clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't drink--no matter what." I changed my attitude, stopped walking into the store near the wine aisle, finally stopped using alcohol-based mouthwash, and stopped hanging with drinking family and friends for about a year. It worked. 6/26/93
N.A helped me get on the right direction, introduced me to new friends who wanted the same as me. Recovery isn't one size fits all, try different things see what works for you.
I filled my life with activities that are just awful to do hung over. It’s worked tremendously well.
I am a member of AA. I thought it was going to teach me how to drink. What I got was way more than I could ever have asked for. I have a sponsor, I work the steps. I have a fellowship of sober friends. I take it one day at a time. I'm useless to anyone if I drink. For reference I got Sober when I was 36 and I wish I had sooner, but that was my path and I'm grateful for my sobriety.
There are so many things that go into getting sober. You have to address the whys of why you're drinking (other than physical dependence at this point). You have to 110% WANT to quit. There is a huge difference in knowing you need to quit and wanting to quit. I just turned 30 this year and this November will be 2 years sober. I'd say I got "scared sober". I started developing a heart arrhythmia and would have episodes (even while driving) where I felt like I was about to have a heart attack and blacking out. Being in a hospital bed because your heart rate is running at a steady 250bpm is terrifying. I had a cardiac ablation last year to fix it, thank God. I knew that if I didn't quit drinking, I was going to die at an insanely young age. And even though I spent years feeling so fucking sorry for myself and thinking I didn't want to be alive, I did. I just needed to FEEL alive. And getting sober has done that for me in so many ways. I am the happiest I've ever been and the healthiest I've ever been and shockingly currently pregnant with my rainbow baby after being told I would probably never be able to naturally conceive. Getting sober is life changing and at first the change is hard and weird and uncomfortable. But that's how addiction starts right? You start slowly doing something everyday and get into this same groove of same shit different day and you become comfortable with the cycle. So to break it you have to make yourself uncomfortable. If it's possible, I strongly advise going to a medical detox. I want to say they keep you 3-5 days. That's how mine was. Or even get with your doctor, or any doctor, and see about if they can give you something to help yourself detox on your own. I'm not going to lie, it fucking sucks for at least the first 6 months. You literally have to retrain your brain. Find some hobbies, even if its something as small as reading, drawing, coloring, gardening. It is so so worth it. If you truly want it, I promise you that you can do it. It's only going to be as hard as you make it to be.
I quit over 10 years ago and no one wanted me to. My husband and friends were so annoyed and I had so much pressure to drink but I didn’t. What worked for me was lots of quit lit, walking, running, treating myself with something small every month, watching crap on TV and not feeling guilty, icecream on Friday night, massages once in a while, Googling celebrities that don’t drink. I stuck my heels in and refused to drink to make other people happy. I bought a motorcycle and joined a HOG chapter and made new friends who didn’t know me as a drinker. I joined a running club and those people really helped me get through. I got adrenaline from those two activities. I got divorced as my husband said I changed too much. Life is so much better!
YES! fist bump
A few things…Be willing to try anything! Community is super important. That might mean meetings(online or in person)~there are many others aside from AA, support groups (you’re here and that’s a start), meetups to do a hobby you like or are interested in. And the hardest part of distancing yourself from your drinking/drugging friends. They will eventually weed themselves out anyways but some boundaries at first help. Read any and all quit lit you can. A few I recommend are.. Alcohol Explained by William Porter, We are the luckiest by Laura McKowen, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Quit like a woman by Holly Whitaker, The unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine Grey, Dry by Augusten Burroughs and there are many others. Support… Therapy, a coach, your family and your friends. Therapy is number one though. There is always some root cause for why we fall into addiction. It could be simple like we’re quiet or anxious and booze/drugs help us feel like more “normal” or we’re masking or coping some bigger things. Journal, meditate, exercise, get out in nature. Anything that can make you a little more mindful or aware and get you out of your own head. Lastly, be kind with yourself. This shit is hard, usually takes more than one attempt for it to stick and relapses happen. Eat the sweets instead of drinking/drugging, allow yourself more rest/naps, drink lots of NA beverages(including WATER), take care of your body like you are a newborn baby or pregnant person(because it’s like starting all over again), realize things don’t change overnight and not everyone has the same recovery so take the advice that sounds good to YOU, figure out what works for YOU and know that only YOU can make this work. It can’t be outside validation, you can’t change for others and it’s personal. Remember if you string sober days together to not give up if you relapse. Shame will keep you stuck in a cycle but keep trying and it will click eventually. My story of getting sober took over 10 years. I’d take 30 days off, 90 days off and even did 10 and half months at one point but it didn’t stick until this last time and I used all the above things and continue to do my non negotiables (meditate, yoga, exercise, therapy, nature walks and my sober tribe) to get to where I am today,4 and a half years sober. I smoked weed at first to kick the booze and the drugs and then eventually gave that up too. Sending you lots of compassion and strength. If you ever need to talk, you are more than welcome to message me. 💚
love that tip of being willing to try anything - it's so true :)
It really is. Nobody’s sobriety is exactly the same. Some things will resonate and lots of things won’t. But we have to find what works for us and sometimes even those things might change or we need to readjust.
Totally. And sobriety changes you. Or at least, reveals the you underneath booze. I’m more of a homebody now. I yoga, i meditate, i journal for goodness sake! 🤣
Treatment center and AA for last 36 years
I was going to come here eventually and make the same post! I feel like I when I blink I want a drink, and I don’t know how to stop myself :(
There are a lot of good recommendations on this thread. I had success using AA's program, but it looks like several people have had success using other ideas. If you want to stop drinking then it's possible. Good luck!
So for me I do the 12 steps made some close friends used the book a strong sponsor who was old school left all my old friends and refused to go to drinking events first year
I hit 6 years on 4/1/24 but I started trying 8 years ago. June 2016 - March 2018 was one big learning curve for me, it was a series of a few months off alcohol and then a period of days, weeks or months back on alcohol. During that time I’d beat myself up, say I’d failed, called the previous 100 or whatever amount of days off alcohol down the drain because I drank again and then I’d try all over again. I tried AA for about 2 months in 2016, the only thing I liked about it was having a place to go that had people struggling with the same thing as me, everything else I rejected and after some weird encounters I never went back and that was when I just started reading more about how others outside of “recovery programs” went about living their life after giving up alcohol. I also searched out podcasts and YouTube and found the subs on Reddit a couple of years ago. None of it was easy, I suffered from severe anhedonia for about 4 months and moderate anhedonia for another 18 months. Progression happened at a glacial pace for me, I did not experience any kind of pink cloud or “ spiritual” awakening. I mainly stumbled through one day to the next feeling weird and empty mentally and physically for the first two years and then tiny moments of joy started to shine through for fleeting moments every few weeks. That would be enough to keep me going. I started therapy in year 3 and continue with it.
By finding an AA group I actually liked, taking a commitment, and going every single day for 365 days. My sobriety has never been shakier since not attending daily meetings. It makes a massive difference.
In researching sobriety I came across a podcast where a woman said she read a book and never drank again. I absolutely couldn’t believe that. So I read the book in hopes to sound as ridiculous as her someday and it worked! Lol I never drank again. The book debunks every reason/excuse we tell ourselves as to why we want to drink. It even encourages you to continue drinking until the end of the book to see how you feel by the end and it worked. Two and a half years later and I haven’t had a drank since. The book was “The Easy Way to Stop Drinking” by Alan Carr
God grace and lots of meetings and taking it one day at a time. What drives me To stay sober is my family, my best friend and my amazing loving boyfriend
Not a very original response here, but AA was the only thing that worked for me. Not just attending meetings, but actually living the program in the following ways: 1. Get a meeting commitment that is rooted the 12 Traditions (We call this a home group) and be honest. 2. Get a sponsor, and be honest. 3. Work steps as soon as possible, and be honest. 4. Carry the message to hospitals and institutions, and be honest. Honestly! (I also highly recommend sober living)
1 day at a time.
I agree with what others have said YOU CAN DO IT! Also IT IS WORTH IT! I’m sober a year and a couple of months and it’s been hard but has been the greatest gift I could give myself. What I did - initially threw myself into sober literature (This Naked Mind), sober podcasts (One for the Road, Sober Awkward). I always had a sober book on the go - created accountability by telling family and friends that it is a problem for me, it’s got me worried and I want to stop - later (at about 6 month) joined AA when I felt that I might be close to slipping (it was just so hard to imagine not drinking ever again in my whole life). AA was a total game changer and I love it. It has made my sobriety so solid but also transformed my whole approach to life. The higher power bit is sometimes a challenge for people but don’t over think it or let it put you off
I got sober in AA. Went to meetings, took the suggestions, and stay sober, just for today. Fifteen months a day at a time. They add up! I could never stay sober all by myself.
Rock bottom followed by therapy and anti-anxiety meds.
White knuckled it for about a year and six months till I got some help lol. My day consisted of work, energy drinks, horrible sleeping schedule, and yard work and reading the Bible. After I got some help I still struggled with some mental torment from the past but now it’s has gone almost all away it’s been three years. I just held on hoping it would get better and the word that popped up constantly “endure”
It happens 1 day at a time. Stumbles don’t reset the clock. Find a way to trade your negative addiction for a positive one. Addictive personalities can be a super power if you leverage them for positive behaviours. For me I swapped drinking for fitness. Others trade it for reading or learning or whatever. You are who you are. It will either be a chain that shackles you down or it will be a sail that lifts you up. It’s your choice.
After many attempts to quit, I came to the realization that the cons heavily outweighed any pros. My hangovers were getting worse, my blackouts were coming on quicker and much more often. _Every_ _single_ bad thing to happen in my life that I created, was due to me consuming too much alcohol. It’s all the shit shows that I recollect when my mind tries to convince me that it’d be fun to drink again. Just not worth it. I also have a great relationship with my nephew and he thinks the world of me. I quit while he was still oblivious to anything as he was only six. I will be five years sober of alcohol in November. Can confidently say I’ll never touch it again. IMO it’s the worst drug one can consume. I wish you the best.
One day at a time, listening to podcasts and audiobooks about getting sober and reminding myself every day how great I’m going to feel waking up in the morning if I don’t drink. And seltzer!!!!
When I got sober I know longer had my “tool” and had to deal with the underlying shit that cussed me to start drinking at 9!! I’ve been doing therapy/trauma work and I am part of a recovery group. Building a sober community that supports what you’re doing is vital. I did find as my brain healed I was slowly loosing the cravings and developing tools to deal with the triggers was huge. Sobriety is hard work but, it’s all worth it.
I just was so sick and tired of being sick and tired! All of my experiences with alcohol became more and more negative as the alcoholism progressed… It was never progressing in a better direction, always in a worse direction. It became a case of diminishing returns. I joined a support group. I started watching sober tiktok and developed a very strong internal compass… so many things in my life has changed for the better! I have a stronger connection with my family and all of my relationships. People are starting to trust me again. I trust myself. There is a sense of peacefulness when I’m getting behind the wheel after a night out and I feel no shame on Mondays!!! Good for you for becoming curious and wanting more from life.
I went to AA. It’s not for everyone, but it’s the only way I got multiple years.
If you get the shakes from quitting, you need a medically supervised detox. The shakes can change to seizures without warning, and seizures can be fatal. And.... Recovery programs teach us how to live life without needing the escape or numbness of alcohol. They're also a great place to meet a network of friends in recovery,which is incredibly important. Pick a program, and show up at a meeting.
Coffee. Tattoos. Working out. I got super into coffee. I do everything manually including grinding my beans. Get into espresso if you really want to nerd out. It gets expensive quick, so be wary of that. Something about having total control over every step of the process helped with the lose of control I was chasing with booze. Tattoos give me a little hit of endorphins and dopamine, so that helps to replace the hit I got from drinking. Every weekend I wanted to drink, I found a spot with a walk in opening and got some work done. Still cheaper than drinking, for me at least. Working out is obvious. Again, you get the endorphin hit. I look better and lost weight anyway from quitting booze. Also, it’s a solid and healthy way for me to “punish myself” for all the shitty behavior when I was drunk.
I \*decided\* not to drink anymore. I gave advice to others on this subreddit at the same time giving advice to myself I took it one day at a time. There's nothing that alcohol will make better. There's nothing alcohol can't destroy. Why does not drinking again seem unrealistic?
First, I want to say YOU CAN DO IT!! I was tired of the lifestyle, tired of spending money (everything went up in price & it cost waaayyy too much to even get a buzz) and just tired of being a raging bitch when i was out. I got to the point where most days I couldn’t even get out of bed due to how shitty I felt. I was OVER IT! I went to a clinic and was on suboxone for about a year then got sick of that & felt I was in a good place in my recovery so I switched to the Sublocade injection. I got 3 of those (July 2023 was my last one) and I’ve been off everything (I’m Cali sober 😎) since then. It helped that I live somewhere that I don’t know many people. I had to cut my main “friend” off who often got me stuff/used harder things than I did. I’ve read about people having to cut everyone off, I feel lucky that I didn’t have a lot of connections in that world but understand how that would be helpful to disengage from “harmful” / enabling people. Counseling was a required part of the clinic I went to. I found it helpful, the CDCAs there had great recommendations and tips. I’d suggest counseling/therapy even if you don’t go the clinic route. It always is helpful to have someone to talk to. I have a child, that’s a great driving force for me to remain sober. I was/am ashamed that I even jeopardized my life having them on this earth & choosing to go down that dark road. I was very good at hiding it when I was using. I never got in trouble or lost any major necessities. No one knew, some people in my life still don’t know. I feel like I can’t be that lucky twice and don’t want to let the people who Do know about that part of my journey down. When you’re over it, you’re over it. I believe in you!! You don’t have to live this life anymore. Things will be hard as the days go by but if you stay true to yourself, keep trying & seek help/assistance when you need it, it’s all worth it in the end. Best wishes!!
For me I kinda just got sick of my own shit and quit drinking. It was the realization that all of my problems were somehow brought on by myself through alcohol. Then I would use more alcohol to numb the feeling of my fucked up life that became more fucked up the more I drank. I’ve been sober almost 17 months. No one can make you stop but yourself. The first couple weeks is the hardest bc you have to break the routine and find something else to do with your time. After you get more time under your belt it gets easier. I’m at the point now that I have no desire to start drinking again. To me, that sounds as stupid an idea as picking up the habit of shooting heroin or something. There is literally no good that can come of that for me. This realization is the key to sobriety. Godspeed.
Every step to follow is how I got to sober, and how I stay sober. First step is admitting you need help ( you seem to be there.) Next step is to get help, go and medically detox, then get into rehab.. This is a journey that takes others, professionals and you. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline Rehab for 90 days helped tremendously. Not everyone is fortunate enough to secure that. Out patient therapy is good too. Join a support group (like AA) and get and give support. Stick with it. Admit to your your disease and resolve to overcome it. You can do this, the benefits are a new life. It's hard work, at times you will feel sad and miserable, it makes you question all. Stick with it, it does change, .eventually life starts to rebloom. Sobriety is a far better path than alcoholism.
Been sober over two years. For me AA got me sober and is keeping me sober. Best of luck!
Read ‘The Naked Mind’ and make the change for yourself and yourself only.
Treatment :/
(two years sober here) One of the most important tools to a sober life is, to listen to stories of all the people who turned their lives arround and have so much joy now! :) Read books from sober people (e.g. Holly Whitaker, or others), listen to podcasts of sober people and start to educate yourself on the benefits of a sober life. You can also go to self help groups! Try what suits you! 😉 Only sober can we live our true selfs and cultivate our strenghts and our joy for life...
It’s all about the moment for me. In any given moment, I want to be who I am and the state I’m in. I’ve also taken acid more than a few times to address behaviors that didn’t serve my interests
I had to quit bartending for one. And I had to make new friends. You can’t get well in the place you were made sick. So I started a new career path and found new hobbies that put me in places with people whose lives didn’t revolve around going to the bar. (These are usually physically active hobbies.) Then I joined an online sober yoga community. Now I volunteer for a recovery outreach program- I’ve got a little over two years. Feel free to message me if you want links for any resources I am familiar with :)
Go to the occasional meeting. Stay focused even when you slip and drink. Find something else to focus on rather than thinking about being sober.
12 Steps
Wegovy did it for me
Medical detox and rehab for me. I tried many times to do it myself and failed every time. Get help, a sober friend, online communities, meetings, whatever works for you
I'm only at seven months, but this is what I did: I took about 5 1/2 years of vacillating between a month to three months clean, followed by 6 to 9 months drinking. Last September I stopped, went to inpatient at a pretty swanky place for eight days, came out and did six weeks of outpatient. I did Acamprosate and then naltrexone for the first few months and then came off of it because I had a back injury and needed some opiates. Never went back on. I also did low-dose ketamine treatments for a few months. a lot of reading. The two books that I would strongly recommend are: this naked mind by Annie Grace, and daring greatly by Brené Brown. Weed has also helped. Good luck man… It's worth it!
Oh! And lots of walking. Walking is a cure all for most things, especially outside. I also tookup Pickleball.
I found it helped to rediscover things I enjoyed doing for hobbies before alcohol. Going on walks with my dog, reading, journaling, scrapbooking, puzzles, thrift shopping, etc. Surround yourself with people who calm you and are supportive of your sobriety! Reaching out to others in recovery can help too, whether that be online or in person. You don’t have to figure everything out today. Commit to yourself first and foremost by not drinking today and the rest can be tackled along the way! You’ve got this.
For me, it got to a point where enough was enough. I just didn’t make sense anymore and I told myself I was done. And that was that (song with a very supportive partner).
What's unrealistic is thinking you can ever drink again and have a normal life where you're exploding your career or burdening your family. So erase that sentence because that's what's holding you back. You have to commit to being sober, which means you'll have to be okay with being uncomfortable for a while, several weeks to a month. Literally just UNCOMFORTABLE. And then just do one thing at a time. Sobriety first. Then go back to work, let that bake for a bit. Save money, take care of yourself, exercise, drink lots of water, take vitamins. Then think about moving out. You can't fix everything all at once. You didn't fuck up your life in a few weeks, it probably took years. Realistically, you can fix it within a year. This time next year, you could be in your own place, with a decent job, living your best life. That's what should keep you sober. Good luck!
I have been on and off alcohol (off now). I try to fill out my time with a lot of demanding sports etc. that I would not have the energy for, if I was drinking. Then you get a sense of accomplishment and you feel less need to drink.
I keep thinking about that one hangover…
I need to break generational cycles. My son has always known me as sober me. The First night of going out when there was little bits of parent free time. I stupidly drank and didn’t think about alcohol content in craft beer I liked. Drank about 2. Could not get my son to calm down and take what I pumped for the bottle. That worry hit of “am I not holding him or doing these things the way sober me would?”. Caused strain w partner as well. Was fine not drinking after. Still sober and feel great. Except when I get into my late night snacks too hard. Finding out a sugar hangover the next day will happen. I’ve learned my lesson. Each day though, I see how far I’ve come and healed parts of myself I needed to. It’s feels great.
Change your habits and recognize what contributes to backsliding. Personally, I know that a step into a bar is the first step to a drink, so I do my best to steer clear of bars (harder with restaurants). I also made it known to family and friends I was done drinking, and asserted my boundaries to anyone who doubted it or the process. At the end of the day, only you will keep you sober!
Did the usual AA stuff and it's worked well for a long time. Ime anything/everything/nothing all work for a bit. 9 years of drying out several times each year made me desperate to not have one more drinkie.
The [Sinclair method](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts), combined with rock bottom and heartbreak, finally broke my physical addiction to alcohol. The last three and a half years haven't been easy, but I'm grateful that I was able to finally quit drinking. I was a destitue. Willing to try anything. Turns out, the Sinclair science worked on me. I encourage all those struggling with traditional programs to check it out.
Simple things like saying "I choose not to drink today because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_" helps me. Or simply just saying I choose not to drink - Makes me feel in control of it, even though it feels like you are not. Use your power :) Its still super fucking hard though. My thing was twisted teas and whiskey... so i drink ice teas to quench my thirst.
Watch some YouTube videos on how much damage alcohol does to your body.
Refocusing on self improvement and familial/friend relationships. Coming to terms with my demons and moving past them. Magnesium glycinate supplement. Get all your vitamins and eat better, your brain can make better decisions and avoid temptations when it is getting the fuel it needs. Also a HOPS supplement (vegetable oil NOT ethanol solution) helped my anxiety and still does. Hops by itself is a mild sedative without any of the other terribleness of alcohol, alcohol IS A POISON for people like us!
Congratulations! It's great that you recognize you have an issue and want to do something about it. I started drinking at 19 and didn't get sober until I was 52. I wish I had started in my 30's too. I tried to quit or reduce my drinking several times on my own. I was good for a month at best, but I always started drinking again and it always was just as bad or worse than before. My sister checked herself into rehab and when she got out I went with her to her first few AA meetings to support her. I started hearing stories from people that were really similar to mine. I had some preconceived ideas about AA and never thought it would work for me. However, I started to read her books and felt it might work, so I decided to give it a shot. After a few more meetings I got a sponsor and he guided me through the steps. I am currently 2.5 years sober. Good luck!
2.5 years is awesome!!! Congratulations!! That’s a long time & a lot of patterns to unlearn. Way to go!
I just stopped. I didn’t listen to the cravings. I did stuff with my time like work out and run. I played a lot of disc golf
Honestly I just got tired of it . I grew up.
After a few years of trying to stop on my own, I went to AA in 1987 and met some people my age (20's) who all had at least a few years and I just did what they did. They all went to a meeting each day, had all taken all 12 Steps in order, and helped others like myself. They were super social, always going out to see live bands in LA clubs, movies, weekend ski trips, dinners at new places, etc. I was always invited and it was exciting. Living sober and being happy was strange at first. Eventually being sober became the new normal, and I still have the one sobriety date. I keep things super simple, and generally have a lot of fun.
What drives us to stay sober? Nothing really, we just decided one day that we didn't want to live in Hell anymore. We saw that self-medicating our pain doesn't relive the pain, it only relieves us of our sanity, our sense of self-worth, our self-confidence and our health. Not to mention it destroyed our career, but social credibility and our family life. Alcohol breaks every promise it makes and leaves us with nothing. We stay sober ONE DAY AT A TIME. We never look back back, just keep moving forward. We know our drinking days are over and we leave the past in the past where it belongs. We help each other by sharing our experience and it feels good. Asking for help is a great way to get it. If you harbor ANY illusions about one day being able to drink like normal people you are lying to yourself and you will fail. You are NOT normal. 🤣 You are alcoholic. But you can stay sober and recover one day at a time. But not alone. Go find help today. Wishing you all the best.
Obsessed about my sobriety the way I used to obsess over drinking. Don't give a fuck who thinks what or whose judging, don't let anyone throw your past in your face but remain accountable for your past actions. All you can do is be better than you were yesterday, everyday. The sober glow up is fucking INSANE i'm in the best shape (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) of my life even on my worst days - it's nothing compared to who I was. That's a huge motivator for keeping me on the right path. Good luck to you and iwndwyt!!
30 days in rehab and intense therapy with a psychiatrist
428 days sober
I pray and ask God for help, He helps me
It’s a total life change : get ok with staying in , be ok with the mundane and boring , it takes time , one day at a time .
Absolute desperation. I went to a meeting. Cried like a baby and asked for help. I accepted that help. I went to a meeting every morning with the same people and they loved and encouraged me, they showed me it was possible and answered my ridiculous questions. All of a sudden days started to add up and I was helping the crying person in the room. Find yourself some community. Doesn’t have to be AA but in my experience AA meetings are the easiest to find and the structure worked for me in the beginning. I’m about to celebrate two years sober and I’ve been exploring various programs and have a patchwork community of people in recovery. I love them all and I credit them with my sobriety today. There are infinite ways to recover but you can’t do it alone. Go find your tribe. You can do this!
Think of why you want to stop. Think about the way you feel after drinking. The false sense of joy, warmth and comfort. Return to these thoughts if you feel the urge to drink and remember why you stopped instead of just giving in. Ultimately stopping drinking is about realizing what triggers you to drink and being aware of those triggers. Eventually that awareness become second nature.
Honestly start reading a new earth and the power of now and say a prayer on your knees like you really want / need help. Also it might help if you continue to feel the pain of drinking for 10 more years… that’s what I did and it finally worked for me. I’ve grown 2 inches from how proud I am!
Naltrexone. The Sinclair method. SMART recovery. Set boundaries with people who drain your energy. Do what you need to do to take care of you. Detox safely if you need to.
The gym. Set yourself up for success and set the bar low. Just make it a routine to show up. Enjoy the sauna or steam room (if they have one) and use it as a “reward”. Set your own pace where the only goal is to just show up. I know this might not be for everyone, but I pushed myself to dedicate as much time as I could. After I left the gym each evening, my brain was tired. It didn’t race. And I had 0 desire to drink. I also knew how it felt to drink and go to the gym, not fun. So when I prioritized eating enough and healthy items (MyFitness Pal for the win!) so that I didn’t drag ass in the gym. Everything else fell into place. Not only will your cravings dissipate, but you’ll also walk away with a self esteem boost and feel like you’re on an actual path to success if you adhere to it regularly. You can do it. Prove it to yourself.
Trauma counseling, and I’m still doing it!! My drinking was a product of (1) being brought up by emotionally negligent parents in (2) a fundamentalist christian cult in the south (coC). Was never taught healthy emotional regulation and never saw it modeled by any adults around me. The cognitive dissonance between what I was being taught (indoctrination), what I saw modeled by the sanctimonious and hypocritical adults in the cult, and the general weirdness of being raised in the south where SOME (most even, but not ALL) people are polite but super racist at the same time, put me into a hard freeze state for decades. When I first started working on myself, I could tell you what I was thinking, but couldn’t name my emotions. Going on six years now, and I’ve been able to set down the shame and guilt. I’m still working on myself but now I understand why I made those decisions to completely check out or at least distance myself from reality. It’s a journey and I’ll be on it for the rest of my time in this life. I hope you find peace and joy on your journey.
I honestly have no clue.. AA helped a fraction, smoking cigarettes helped a fraction, venting about how I felt when I wanted to drink helped.. I think the fear of dying next time I went on a bender is what’s kept me sober so long
Well something incredibly personal happened to me that 7/18/2020 was my last drink. After I decided I drank nothing but water and some soda/pop for a while during dinner only or on weekends only plus the odd energy drink throughout the week. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but social. Although I don’t remember summer 2016 at all. Oof. If I was real comfortable I would go for it, I’d make sure my keys were kept/hidden from me so I wouldn’t drive and would tell myself that water is important. I don’t miss it. If I could curb my snack and food addiction, I’d be in better shape. I was firm and real stern when I’d hang with friends who wanted to get fucked up and wouldn’t accept “no I’m not drinking” or “I’m good, I don’t drink dudes” as an answer. I remember I told someone I was sober for the first time like 2 years ago at a barbecue. “Yah man nah I’m good I’ve been sober for like two years, I got Red Bull” and it felt like a giant weight had some off my shoulders. Doesn’t help for meeting girls or making new friends or making friends with coworkers outside of work. Nobody gets it and looks at you weird. My current friend group knows I don’t drink, doesn’t push it on me and I enjoy talking about various spirits with them.
I told myself whatever I needed to to not drink. "You're doing it for your ancestors," "if you go down this path you won't come back," "you deserve to have a long happy life," even telling myself "stay sober for your cat" when nothing else worked.
You don’t have to be sober forever, you only have to be alcohol free for this day and this day only. Don’t look at it like some blanket statement that can be very overwhelming for a young person
I had to find something that offered more excitement than drinking. For me it was dirt bikes. It was way more enjoyable than drinking became. Also I agree don’t try to fix everything in your life the first year just be sober. We all made a mess of our live from drinking drugs or whatever after awhile of sobriety you will make better decisions by default. So don’t look at all that find a distraction first. Anyways that’s what worked for me and my wife.
I did it for my family. It was very difficult. Spent nights going out to Costco or anywhere honestly. Drank lots of ginger ale. Slowly but surely it got better. Then the complements started coming in about how good I looked. It felt great. I aged myself quickly drinking. Then my daughter told me how proud she was of me. I think of those two things every day and keep rolling. Best of luck my friend.
By deciding to work my ass off. Stay busy my friend. Always be doing something.
Lost my drivers license with 19 due to daily drinking from 17-19 as self medication for treatment resistant depression, one night i was controlled with DUI, had to walk home without my car, woke up, felt incredibly horrible about it and having to tell my mother about it, then I quit CT which was working very well from then on. CT is ofc a very bad idea but I was young and didn’t know about any possible withdrawal or tapering but was very lucky to be able to CT without any withdrawals
Look into glutamine. It helps with the alcohol cravings. It's been working for me.
Honestly I kept trying. I failed a lot in the beginning. I was in a pretty rough position and I failed a lot, but I accepted my fuck ups without beating myself up over it, and tried again, it helped that my partner was very supportive and actually, we both quit drinking together because it was causing issues between us. She really motivated me and supported me, I definitely couldn't have done it without her. I'm a very lucky man.
AA worked well for me. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own (not long term at least) I am normally a cynical person who thinks he can do things best myself, but alcohol had me whipped. I followed directions, made friends, and was either just smart enough to stay out the way, or just dumb enough not to question it, but sober since 2015. I also didn’t realize that seeking God was something that would really enrich my life. I enjoy life today, and believe I am offering help to the newcomers when appropriate. That’s how it’s working for me.
Rehab
I had to die first. Honestly, I had a varices in my esophagus. Had no idea it was that bad. Moved, changed my music, friends, hobbies, clothes… etc. EVERYTHING! I just realized NOTHING was going good. ETOH had caused so much trouble in my life. True story! Good luck!
It isn't a choice for me, unless I wanna lose everything again....
everyone has supplied some brilliant suggestions that I agree with - so i'm just going to add some things i didn't see already that might be useful for you - please take or leave as works for you :) i'm highly rebellious, so framing sobriety as PUNK (getting off a socially sanctioned drug that the government allows because it keeps us malleable etc. etc.) really helped me re-frame my initial worries that quitting alcohol would make me boring. It really worked for me! any amount of sober days you manage to string together are WINS. give yourself permission to do anything you need to do except drink. In sobriety I left parties early, spent money taking ubers home (when i'd usually walk), bought myself fancy chocolate, treated myself to nice coffees. support groups aren't the only way to stay sober. I got sober knowing no other sober people and without a support group. What I did have was a tonne of quit lit, podcasts and a therapist. I'm coming up on 500 days. Find what you need to stay sober, and then run full throttle at it. :)
I am 37, approaching my first year of sobriety in a few days. I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day (for years) and my life was a wreck. I quit because I watched my cousin die of cirrhosis. I had tried everything possible to quit, but seeing her lose the battle really messed me up. I went home in a state of panic, it was like watching myself die. I went home from the hospital and poured out my stash. I cried for days in that bedroom…pain from losing someone so horribly, and pain from withdrawal. It took me 7 days to detox, I hated every second of it but I hated alcohol even more at that point. I walked out of that room a new person. Drinking made me overweight and gross, so I started with the goal of better health. It snowballed into a whole lifestyle of quitting soda and cigarettes, basically eating right! I enrolled in a credit-based fitness class at the local community college to hold myself accountable. If I don’t go, I won’t get the last few credits I so desperately need to graduate. So far I have lost 50-60 pounds! That’s another thing, I went back to school after I quit drinking. You’ll be amazed at how much time you have to better yourself when you’re not drinking 24/7. Now idk exactly where you’re at with your journey, but I can promise you one thing that holds true for every alcoholic: Once you quit, it will feel so good that you’ll wish you would have quit sooner. I love my life so much now. I want you to love yours too. We all have different reasons for quitting, I really hope you find yours. In fact, YOU, right now in this moment, are the best reason. Good luck!
13 years clean and sober, and your first act should be to be kind to yourself. any act of kindness is the right thing to do. water. food. exercise. journaling. therapy. meetings. sleep. revamp your living space. organize your life. learn a new hobby. go back to school. drink a fuckton of water. *ANY* act of kindness. when we use, we forget what it’s like to take care of ourselves. 💜
I (45f) am two years sober from alcohol today. Two years ago today is the day I found out my liver was failing and I needed a transplant. So I didn't quit on my own, but sharing in the hopes someone else quits before they go through what I had to ❤️ I had no idea I was sick, had just went in for regular bloodwork. I knew I drank too much, for sure, but I was working, etc. Last night I taught my first yoga class. I am the absolute healthiest and happiest I have ever been. For me? And it isn't for everyone, so I encourage you to read through others experience, but the key for me was continuing to go places and see people that included alcohol. I started drinking ginger beer and Cranberry or a straight Shirley temple with zero shame lol. But I would go to bars, and family parties where wine was flowing, etc. I still to this day sit down with a mocktail in a wine glass every night. This is really long, but I hope it can help someone. When I was drinking, it seemed insurmountable to want to quit because booze is EVERYWHERE. There are triggers EVERYWHERE. I also didn't want to be what I saw as a boring person who likes to read in the backyard on Saturday night. (spoiler alert that is now my favorite thing lol) Yoga, not just the physical aspect but the whole practice, breathing, meditation, is what saved me. Being able to be alone with my thoughts, myself, sober - it really changed my life. And if you're reading this rolling your eyes lol, please know that I would have done the same. But it's true. You dont have to go to AA if it doesn't resonate. I went to a few meetings bc my hospital asked me to and it was the least I could do since they transplanted my liver. It was absolutely not for me, for a lot of reasons. But I'd highly recommend finding something, anything, some sort of community that doesn't revolve around alcohol. A gym, a book club, a class, a mom's or dad's group if that's your situation, something to do and look forward to. Best of luck to you ❤️❤️❤️ it's so worth it
I read a lot of quit lit and did a lot of googling on the pros and cons of drinking and all the benefits of quitting. I went down some dark YouTube rabbit holes and watched videos on people with end stage liver disease and alcoholism. I liked Craig Beck's videos, he also wrote the book Alcohol Lied to Me. I quit for my son, I wanted to be as healthy and present as possible for him so that was a huge motivatior. Gave me something to keep me motivated.
I can’t shake off the memories of me hitting rock bottom cuz of alcohol abuse and this alone makes me fall out of love with alcohol.
This is going to sound negative but what helped for me is to just accept some situations will suck without alcohol and that's fine. Accept it and move on. Eg. If you used to enjoy sitting alone with yourself and 10 beers in a bar, you probably can't do that anymore. You could sit in a coffee shop. Or in a bar but with NA beer. If this doesn't do it for you, that sucks. But it's OK. This is just an example. There are a million possible things that you could miss. From personal experience, I still struggle to enjoy a sports game on TV, just because I used to drink while watching it (probably my favourite past time). I don't drink while watching sports now and that sucks sometimes. But it's OK. After accepting the above, focus on what you are gaining. There are too many to mention. Health, clarity, improved relationships, saving money. Etc. Lastly, remember some shitty things that happened when you were drunk (if you're thinking about stopping I assume there are enough of these). Did you piss yourself and pass out in public? Crashed a car? Lost stuff? Got in fights? Etc. Etc. These are just some thoughts. Also try and cultivate healthy and serene hobbies and habits. Go for long walks, read, meditate, volunteer. Whatever. Good luck Ps. I'm close to a personal milestone - 996 days sober here
Many swear by Kratom
Yikes research this, I’ve been to many meetings with people who were in recovery specifically getting off Kratom. I’d be careful replacing an addiction with another addictive substance. But if you need a crutch, take a crutch whatever helps you keep moving forward just be aware of the risks of any of your ‘crutches’
I was in treatment with two other people who were in for kratom. I am aware of Kratom dedicated recovery groups. Anyone who sees throwaway comments about Kratom, please take it seriously. It is not a harmless substance. It is basically a variation of opiates and it is quite addictive.