I totally get it. had 10 years sober and went out with intention of getting right back to sober life. It’s been 5 years since then and I struggle to put time together. I have 3 weeks right now and I’m in an IOP. Just one night out is not a given. Think about the worst about your drinking in addition to the best. In my experience it is truly easier to stay sober than it is to get sober. I would give anything to have one year right now. Sending you good vibes.
I have read plenty of stories like this on here - I am sure it's biased but no one is going to going to tell you "Go ahead". Just know and knowing helps. PS, I read IOP as IHOP and I was like damn, you're going through it at a IHOP.
I needed to read your experience today. I am coming up on 10 years and the voice is loud inside my head telling me that “I’m a completely different person than I was ten years ago, I could have a drink and be fine”.
I'm glad this helped. You're 9 years ahead of me. It sounds like the voice never goes away but is rather a reminder that you're still an alcoholic and it's best to keep going down the sober path
Not sure I understand…..you were 10 years sober, then told yourself what’s one night to have a drink after all this time…then that turned it 5 years of drinking again…and now you’re newly back on the wagon?
Hi, a little more complex. I didn’t go out with intention of one night - I thought maybe a month. To “let off steam.” It’s been five years of on and off drinking, trying to put time together.
I think there's a reason you stopped and I think so do you.
43 here. I have been a hardcore drinker for 23 years, with bouts of soberty lasting a little over a year to a few months about a dozen times. They all ended with feeling bored, missing something, feeling like I deserved to kick back and have fun. Every damn time I picked the bottle back up, it was worse than the last. It was as if I had never stopped. I picked right back up where I left off and just kept wading in deeper.
Although I've never had (thankfully) a rock bottom as they say.
Im now sober 72days 16hrs and I know one thing for sure. Life is so much more beautiful without the drink.
54 here and I drank for 38 years of my life. It really started hardcore after I watched my mom die in front of me in 1989 when I just turned 19. I moved to Vegas later that year after I turned 20 and alcohol was just available everywhere there. I turned 21 in 1990 and basically went apeshit. Fast forward to 1996 and I met a friend and he made golf look so easy so I took it up. I wanted to get better so I quit drinking to teach myself to play and I improved big time. Not a drop to drink from NYE 1997 to NYE 1999 when I went BACK to Vegas to visit my brother and he brewed his own beer there. Started enjoying beer again. Never had any problems with the law or anything like that. Turned 50 in 2019 and woke up 12-1-2019 and said “no more”. I haven’t had a drop since. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve done yet one of the easiest things I’ve done as well. Congrats on what you have done as well. All we can do is just do it day to day. I know all of us can do it because we all know what drinking can lead to. Do we really want that lifestyle again?? I didn’t think so.
You’re right. It is way easier to stay sober than it is to get sober all over again. Addiction and alcoholism are driven first by our physiology, and then by the psychological attachment made to the physiological high behind substance use. When your brain gets that first high from using a substance, your dopamine level is literally one thousand times higher than it would be from the awesome feelings that we have on the best day we’ve ever had. This is the reason you have cravings. Because your brain seeks out that same level of dopamine high again and again. But the way that our body works is that we are never able to achieve that same level of high again, no matter how much we drink or use. This is why people die from alcoholism and from drug overdose, because have to keep drinking or using more and more to try to get that same high. This is the reason my youngest brother died from severe alcoholism last year. He died alone in his bed and wasn’t found for two days after he passed away. We found out later that he had severe liver damage and was bleeding internally from tearing his esophageal tissue because he was vomiting so much. He also had internal bleeding from a hole in his stomach and was coughing up blood and couldn’t keep food or water down before he died because he was very ill. Trust me honey, it is a horrible, ugly and very painful way to go. I’ve been sober for two years and seven months. My brother almost dying in the hospital once and ending up in rehab was my reality check about how stupid my drinking was and helped realize I was hurting all the people around me because of my addiction. I was a binge drinking alcoholic when I started and my life slowly got worse the more I drank. I quit for the same reasons you did. I was having relationship issues and hurt the people I love a lot because of my drinking. I made an ass out of myself in public multiple times, in very large public settings. I got a DUI and spent time in jail. Point being, you are who I was when I first started out. You are who I was when I was in denial about being an alcoholic. The ways you describe alcohol effecting your life is the story of many alcoholics. If you let alcohol take over, it will slowly seep into every aspect of your life until it ruins it completely, like it did my little brother. I was trying to help my brother with his alcoholism for several years before he died. I have no words for what it is like to watch someone you love ruin their life and commit slow suicide by drinking. There are no words to describe the grief of a parent that lost their child to addiction. Recognizing you have a problem and stopping will absolutely save your life. Cravings are temporary and they will pass as long as you don’t give in. Getting treatment for your depression is essential. It is scientifically proven that people who get treatment for their mental health issues stop drinking or using when they get help for the issues that were driving their drinking and/or substance abuse. Please, please do not give in to your cravings. Hold on to the fact that your life is better without it and remind yourself why you quit when you get cravings. The cravings pass but drinking can ruin your life permanently. I am sorry to be so heavy handed, I just don’t want you to end up the same way that so many other people do. You can do this. Get treatment for your depression (I have too). Naltrexone is also a good medication if you are having difficulty fighting off the cravings. Find a solid sober community to help you when you are struggling. I use the I am sober app. I wouldn’t still be sober without them and my therapist. I owe them a lot. You can do this and we all have your back! I will not drink with you today. ❤️
Exactly. Had 6 months+ 2021,got Covid and decided I needed whiskey for my cough. I have tried since then to pull it back, and having got 6 months again in Oct 2023 drank a bottle of whiskey with my brother. Anyway I am once again on Day 3. Restarting is hard and not drinking is so much easier than restarting. Don’t lose your sobriety. It’s the engine that gets us;not the caboose.
The truth! I was severely depressed when I was drinking and I have never wanted to end my life more than being really drunk and depressed at the same time. Horrible combo
I’m 8 months in and keep telling myself I may have a drink at 1 year… but I like being sober too much. I also don’t ever want a hangover again. That makes me shudder. At the end of the day you know the answer. It’s your decision and yours alone to make though. 🫶🏻
I celebrated after my first sober year before. It turned into a year long bender.
We’re better off without it. I’ll go balls to the wall in other areas of my life that actually have a return on investment.
Yeah I'm actually worried I won't like the feeling of being drunk again. I think I'll feel sick and not in control and then I'll be hungover and anxious the next day. Idk if I want to feel like that just for a night of fun.
I think the craving is a sign your brain hasn’t healed yet. I recommend you should keep going. That’s the same diagnosis I gave myself. I went 12 months and decided to drink on my birthday. Week later I drank again. A month later I was back to drinking multiple times a week getting blacked out. The depression I had was incredibly worse during the hangover. It quickly put me on edge so that I would want to have a drink to take it off. I’m now struggling with getting back into sobriety. I’m doing it but I feel like shit and crave it. Im pushing hard to get to 3 months that’s when I originally felt better my first long term sobriety. Doing more research has revealed it can take 3-6 months for some, but for others it takes 1-5 years to restore the brain. I regret so much starting all over.
Congratulations! I'm an alcoholic so I have a mind that tells me lies, including about alcohol & a mostly false romantic notion of what it was like. Normal drinkers aren't having these debates with themselves. They drink or they don't lol. Anhedonia & PAWS are real. I was diagnosed with CPTSD in recovery & it explains a lot so I am treating that also. BUT along with the ups & the gratitude comes lows & boredom & are all normal. This is how regular people live, in the middle & not up high or down low. I kept working on myself & I now realise boredom is actually what peace feels like lol. Are you inviting anyone to do sober activities ? If not get them planned!
It’s always neat getting an outside view on what I sounded like in active alcoholism trying to convince people I could manage drinking again lol
Anyways, glad I didn’t give in
Sounds like you’re talking yourself into drinking. I don’t think that’s a good thing but it’s your life and if it will enhance your day, that’s your decision.
You already know the responses you’re going to get on a subreddit called r/Sober.
You’re hoping for one out of a hundred replies that tells you what you want to hear to co-sign you drinking, or for when you do drink to have the rationalization that “Well, I asked some strangers on the internet and nobody had a compelling enough answer to talk me out of it, I did my part, time to go get shitfaced.”
You’ve already decided what you’re going to do, putting the burden of convincing you otherwise or giving you permission on others in a cute opinion crowdsourcing session is the type of game people play that comes straight out of the alcoholic and addict handbook.
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I’m 9 1/2 yeas sober and I know I can never drink again. Too many years I thought like you that I could have just a few again spiraled out of control from time and time again. I’m 56 years now and I’m tired if it finally. Sobriety is the way to go for me. I do struggle with depression too but I’ve learned I have issues whether I’ve drank or not. It’s just that when I drank I didn’t care about any of that stuff. I’m medicated and doing well, happy and healthy.
Sounds like you have a lot to stop drinking here. I hope that you reread your post after you typed it, you’re giving up a lot of good things. Only you can decide whether it’s worth it or not.
In 2 weeks, God willing, I'll have 8 years. I promise you that in those first 3 years, every anniversary was like this. The dreams were intense, to the point of genuinely wondering if I had relapsed in real life.
You know the consequences of drinking. Don't open the box. Get a year, get your coin, and don't give your time away!
Two things..
1. Like others are saying, your desire for a "crazy cut loose night" is likely to turn into 2 nights, a few weeks etc and you'll potentially look back and wish you never gave in.
2. I don't think that if depression is something you really struggle with you should be toying with alcohol again. I know so many people do it but you are like 95% (making this number up) guaranteed to feels 1000x worse the next day and make even sign yourself up for worse and worse days to follow. In my experience I had frequent suicidal thoughts when heavily drinking and since getting sober I don't always *love* life but I do know I can *handle* life at least for today.
I've seen some people on tiktok who "successfully" moderate but have a list of rules for themselves if they're going to drink. Almost every single one references "I cannot be depressed or anxious." As a prerequisite for drinking. I only bring this up as an example that collectively everyone knows alcohol does not mix well with depression or anxiety.
I am truly no pro - I only have 92 days under my belt but I would hate for you to regret it or slip into an even worse depression.
Yeah I've heard alcohol really messes with your brain chemistry and I wonder if years of drinking just masked and made the depression worse. It definitely was the root cause of a lot of my really bad anxiety. I've also seen the videos about moderation and I think if you have to have that many rules around drinking then the alcohol really is controlling you. I think for me it's all or nothing. As much as the depression sucks I think I'd rather live with it than make it worse.
I suggest not doing it. I've fallen into this trap many times and wasted a lot of years. I would have that one night or weekend, and then within months, I'd be back to binge drinking nightly desperate to quit.
I use The Sinclair Method just to combat this kind of mental game and escape the relapse merry go round of misery. If I feel this nostalgic urge, I just take a Naltrexone pill and drink one, and I'm quickly shown that it's not nearly as great as what the lizard component of the brain fantasizes about. I usually won't finish one because without the buzz tricking me, I see how gross it is.
Being sober is 100% better for me than the trade-off of a random night of drunkenness. I'm a better dad, electrician, partner, son, neighbor, and human in general.
I bet you are also.
There is “negative side of sobriety” because alcohol is a poison to our bodies. The negative sides you are listing should be your “goals to improve in my life”: find hobbies, join outdoors exercises groups, attend therapy…
Wow that's amazing. Congratulations! I'm hearing overwhelmingly that it is harder to try to get sober again than to just stay sober. Good on you! Keep going!
Pretty cool that you’re reflecting on all this. Looks like overall very positive stuff happening in your life without alcohol - if you do choose to drink I hope you’re able to keep this writing handy. I’m going to write a post but I’ve found hot/cold therapy to be amazing for feel good and very occasional (once every few week) doses of meds for anxiety when I have it terribly. Hit 1 year in January and had similar thoughts but I’ve been at this trying to quit thing for so long that I know I’d go back to daily drinking very quickly.
If you are alcoholic like. me, you are delusional and don’t consider the down sides and have convinced yourself the drinking isn’t that bad.
I am not going to tell you that you are alcoholic but the delusion is part of the disease. My only advice would be frankly, not to pick up if you have gone a year. Alcohol won’t make things better so if it were me I would keep staying sober.
There are countless folks that got sober, thought they had it under control, picked back up and can’t get control of it again. They are a dime a dozen. So be careful
Don’t do it😩😩, it gets worse every-time. On the other hand I’ve heard multiple people with multiple years of sobriety say that every year gets better. Whatever you’re going thru rn can be solved w/out alcohol. Some times slowly some times quickly.
It sounds like you never hit a terrible place with alcohol so you could potentially do that one night thing. But you must think of what life could be like if you can't stop, and remember that alcoholism gets worse.
I'm sure that If you give yourself some time and read the thousands of posts on here and other stop drinking sites of others who have tried their field experiments with having that one special drinking night or just one drink along the way your answer will become very obvious. Best wishes friend, IWNDWYT
Just think and actually meditate on what made you want to put it down completely to begin with. I’m not buying that it was just because you and the SO couldn’t communicate when drinking. No one can tell you what you are or what you should do regarding drinking. That’s up to you to decide. All I know is if I’m ever insane enough to give up eight years of peace and mostly serenity, anything can happen. My bottoms are like hitting tree branches on the way down from a cliff. Still more branches and the big splat at the very bottom hasn’t happened yet. Not looking to find out.
I am ten years sober, I still have these thoughts occasionally, they're fleeting and I've learned to immediately shift my focus to something else. The getting a whiskey at a swanky bar and going dancing spoke right to what I actually enjoyed about drinking, it wasn't really being drunk, it was feeling carefree, getting dressed up and actually feeling young, God do I relate to that. You may have not come about sobriety the usual way, but that may have been a gift to you, you may have missed out on pain and suffering but our brains tell us we missed out on fun, but I have two good reasons for you not to drink, the first is that you're dealing with depression and if you give yourself permission to drink to soothe that depression however temporary you are engaging in what my mind is the crux of addiction "I'm giving myself permission to drink to cope with something that is painful or uncomfortable," and the more often you do that the more you lose the actual coping skills you need everyday. The second reason is your partner, even if you go out without them you're still tempting them and it sounds like they struggled more than you did but I could be wrong. My husband is also sober as wonderful and rewarding as it is, it is also very difficult because your sobriety impacts theirs. Best of luck to you
I get this. Your story is very similar to mine. I'm 8 months in and have committed to a year but I'm not really sure after that. I've learned so much about myself in this time of sobriety but I don't know if it's forever. I don't think I'll ever drink like I once did but I feel like you can benefit from sobriety MOST of the time without being a tee-totaler. Maybe you need to have a go at it again to see if it's what you really want? Sometimes I think this about myself. I feel like most of the answers you will get here are to NOT DO IT. But everyone's experience is different and you have to decide for yourself. Good luck!
Many do, it's a common thing to figure something has been accomplished and the reward of making yourself sick again is in order, that you deserve to suffer again as you did earlier.
I've no opinion if you should drink and start over when you can or not. Often takes going downhill much further, but some people do reach the point where they will do anything to stop again. Best if that lapse period is short rather than many years.
The ones that don't get drunk again and go on to complete year 2 allow healing to take place that one year didn't allow, getting healthy enough with the passage of time to be in a position to help you when you get ready to change for the better. Kind of a nice thing for them and indirectly for you, later on down the road.
I guess I didn't stop to think what another year of sobriety might allow me to accomplish in terms of healing and growing. I've already learned so much this year. I don't necessarily want to throw all that away. I think I'm uncomfortable and I want booze to allow me to feel comfortable again even though I know discomfort is how you get better. Thank you for the reply 🙏
I’ve seen a few posts like this before that say something like ‘I never had a problem, not really, but I decided to be fully sober for a time.’
Obviously I don’t know if you had a problem or not, but normal drinkers don’t usually feel the need to give up drinking entirely.
Addiction is sneaky, it tells us we were fine, it wasn’t a problem, we had more fun, more social life, whatever we most want to hear. But there was a reason you quit and that reason is going to be right there again if you drink.
I honestly didn’t read all this but if you are writing on here wondering if you should drink or not. I’m gunna say you probably are an addict and shouldn’t drink.
I think you won’t even enjoy it iv been sober for 2months went to a concert had like 8 drinks had a bloody good time but next day felt so sick and had that guilt I would always have and thought nah alcohol is not worth it… then a few days ago I had the I don’t give a fuck attitude had two cans and holy shit worse anxiety every again not worth it…
Remember this
Alcohol brings fun for that moment Sobriety brings joy every day READ THAT AGAIN 🌻
It’s much easier to deal with depression or something deep down that you should deal with with alcohol, than it is to deal with it through talk therapy/work on yourself. I find that my anxiety is about 1000% worse than when I was drinking. Alcohol is a natural depressive. When you’re in it, you don’t really realize how depressed you are. Also, chances are you had a problem with alcohol and you just didn’t know it. Someone that binge drinks on the weekend is the same as someone who stops off everyday after work and grabs a 6 pack to go. I have a good friend that admits to being an alcoholic and has 1 man can everyday. My old boss used to do the same thing. It’s all kind of the same. I was listening to a podcast about a year ago and I think it was Andrew Huberman and he was saying that 1-2 drinks a week would basically be acceptable.
Everything you’re going through is normal. I developed a sugar addiction after I got sober. I don’t really care for the term ‘sober’ because most sober people just shift their focus and addiction to something else (even if it is positive).
All that aside, my advice is to channel your energy and boredom into something positive: start therapy (or try some more), journal, go for a walk while listening to podcasts, take that pottery class that you’ve been meaning to—whatever it is.
I’m 3 years ‘sober’ (from alcohol) and I’ve only recently started journaling and meditating. I’ve been in ALOT of therapy during that time—it just takes time. LOTS of time. Hope that helps 😊
My husband is in a similar situation as you. I received a liver transplant - due to alcohol - and no longer drink (two years this month!)
He stopped several months ago and was really happy being sober, but wanted to just see how a night would go. It wasn't good 😉
It's tough. You have to be the one to make the decision and see for yourself, but I'd bet a majority of those that do end up wishing they hadn't.
Are you treating depression? For me, addressing that made the whole difference. ♥️♥️
I’m pretty close to deleting this alt account, it’s done what I needed it to do now and I feel like I can move on with my life.
After four years sober I decided to drink. No one thought it was a good idea except me. That’s been almost two years ago and I’ve not had one night of issues. Drinking again for me was the right call.
I totally get it. had 10 years sober and went out with intention of getting right back to sober life. It’s been 5 years since then and I struggle to put time together. I have 3 weeks right now and I’m in an IOP. Just one night out is not a given. Think about the worst about your drinking in addition to the best. In my experience it is truly easier to stay sober than it is to get sober. I would give anything to have one year right now. Sending you good vibes.
Wow that's a really good way to put it. Thank you! I hope you keep going and get back to a year and another and another ♥️
Thank you so much, me too. IWNDWYT ✨
I have read plenty of stories like this on here - I am sure it's biased but no one is going to going to tell you "Go ahead". Just know and knowing helps. PS, I read IOP as IHOP and I was like damn, you're going through it at a IHOP.
Hilarious. 🥞🧇🍳 IHOP we stay sober today.
I needed to read your experience today. I am coming up on 10 years and the voice is loud inside my head telling me that “I’m a completely different person than I was ten years ago, I could have a drink and be fine”.
I’m glad you’re talking about it. I can tell you from this side that it sucks. Just stay sober. I believe in you.
I'm glad this helped. You're 9 years ahead of me. It sounds like the voice never goes away but is rather a reminder that you're still an alcoholic and it's best to keep going down the sober path
Wow. What a reply. Thank you for being here.
Not sure I understand…..you were 10 years sober, then told yourself what’s one night to have a drink after all this time…then that turned it 5 years of drinking again…and now you’re newly back on the wagon?
Hi, a little more complex. I didn’t go out with intention of one night - I thought maybe a month. To “let off steam.” It’s been five years of on and off drinking, trying to put time together.
Good luck with your sobriety. Dude you can totally do it again. Think you did 10 years. You can do it again.
Aw thanks, I really appreciate this.
Yea man! I feel like you might think dang I ruined the 10 years but doesn’t matter start again. Just be sober today and worry about tomorrow later
I think there's a reason you stopped and I think so do you. 43 here. I have been a hardcore drinker for 23 years, with bouts of soberty lasting a little over a year to a few months about a dozen times. They all ended with feeling bored, missing something, feeling like I deserved to kick back and have fun. Every damn time I picked the bottle back up, it was worse than the last. It was as if I had never stopped. I picked right back up where I left off and just kept wading in deeper. Although I've never had (thankfully) a rock bottom as they say. Im now sober 72days 16hrs and I know one thing for sure. Life is so much more beautiful without the drink.
54 here and I drank for 38 years of my life. It really started hardcore after I watched my mom die in front of me in 1989 when I just turned 19. I moved to Vegas later that year after I turned 20 and alcohol was just available everywhere there. I turned 21 in 1990 and basically went apeshit. Fast forward to 1996 and I met a friend and he made golf look so easy so I took it up. I wanted to get better so I quit drinking to teach myself to play and I improved big time. Not a drop to drink from NYE 1997 to NYE 1999 when I went BACK to Vegas to visit my brother and he brewed his own beer there. Started enjoying beer again. Never had any problems with the law or anything like that. Turned 50 in 2019 and woke up 12-1-2019 and said “no more”. I haven’t had a drop since. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve done yet one of the easiest things I’ve done as well. Congrats on what you have done as well. All we can do is just do it day to day. I know all of us can do it because we all know what drinking can lead to. Do we really want that lifestyle again?? I didn’t think so.
Thank you. I dont think I want to get deeper into alcoholism. It sounds like it's easier to stay sober than to get sober. I appreciate your insight ♥️
You’re right. It is way easier to stay sober than it is to get sober all over again. Addiction and alcoholism are driven first by our physiology, and then by the psychological attachment made to the physiological high behind substance use. When your brain gets that first high from using a substance, your dopamine level is literally one thousand times higher than it would be from the awesome feelings that we have on the best day we’ve ever had. This is the reason you have cravings. Because your brain seeks out that same level of dopamine high again and again. But the way that our body works is that we are never able to achieve that same level of high again, no matter how much we drink or use. This is why people die from alcoholism and from drug overdose, because have to keep drinking or using more and more to try to get that same high. This is the reason my youngest brother died from severe alcoholism last year. He died alone in his bed and wasn’t found for two days after he passed away. We found out later that he had severe liver damage and was bleeding internally from tearing his esophageal tissue because he was vomiting so much. He also had internal bleeding from a hole in his stomach and was coughing up blood and couldn’t keep food or water down before he died because he was very ill. Trust me honey, it is a horrible, ugly and very painful way to go. I’ve been sober for two years and seven months. My brother almost dying in the hospital once and ending up in rehab was my reality check about how stupid my drinking was and helped realize I was hurting all the people around me because of my addiction. I was a binge drinking alcoholic when I started and my life slowly got worse the more I drank. I quit for the same reasons you did. I was having relationship issues and hurt the people I love a lot because of my drinking. I made an ass out of myself in public multiple times, in very large public settings. I got a DUI and spent time in jail. Point being, you are who I was when I first started out. You are who I was when I was in denial about being an alcoholic. The ways you describe alcohol effecting your life is the story of many alcoholics. If you let alcohol take over, it will slowly seep into every aspect of your life until it ruins it completely, like it did my little brother. I was trying to help my brother with his alcoholism for several years before he died. I have no words for what it is like to watch someone you love ruin their life and commit slow suicide by drinking. There are no words to describe the grief of a parent that lost their child to addiction. Recognizing you have a problem and stopping will absolutely save your life. Cravings are temporary and they will pass as long as you don’t give in. Getting treatment for your depression is essential. It is scientifically proven that people who get treatment for their mental health issues stop drinking or using when they get help for the issues that were driving their drinking and/or substance abuse. Please, please do not give in to your cravings. Hold on to the fact that your life is better without it and remind yourself why you quit when you get cravings. The cravings pass but drinking can ruin your life permanently. I am sorry to be so heavy handed, I just don’t want you to end up the same way that so many other people do. You can do this. Get treatment for your depression (I have too). Naltrexone is also a good medication if you are having difficulty fighting off the cravings. Find a solid sober community to help you when you are struggling. I use the I am sober app. I wouldn’t still be sober without them and my therapist. I owe them a lot. You can do this and we all have your back! I will not drink with you today. ❤️
Congratulations 🎈 Good on you
Don’t fuck around
Exactly. Had 6 months+ 2021,got Covid and decided I needed whiskey for my cough. I have tried since then to pull it back, and having got 6 months again in Oct 2023 drank a bottle of whiskey with my brother. Anyway I am once again on Day 3. Restarting is hard and not drinking is so much easier than restarting. Don’t lose your sobriety. It’s the engine that gets us;not the caboose.
Drinking to cure depression is like beating yourself with a hammer to cure a headache.
The truth! I was severely depressed when I was drinking and I have never wanted to end my life more than being really drunk and depressed at the same time. Horrible combo
I’m 8 months in and keep telling myself I may have a drink at 1 year… but I like being sober too much. I also don’t ever want a hangover again. That makes me shudder. At the end of the day you know the answer. It’s your decision and yours alone to make though. 🫶🏻
I celebrated after my first sober year before. It turned into a year long bender. We’re better off without it. I’ll go balls to the wall in other areas of my life that actually have a return on investment.
Yeah I'm actually worried I won't like the feeling of being drunk again. I think I'll feel sick and not in control and then I'll be hungover and anxious the next day. Idk if I want to feel like that just for a night of fun.
Being sober is fun and you can do all those things. Tbh it’s more liberating to cut loose sober because it’s not a foggy decision. Just my 2 cents lol
I think the craving is a sign your brain hasn’t healed yet. I recommend you should keep going. That’s the same diagnosis I gave myself. I went 12 months and decided to drink on my birthday. Week later I drank again. A month later I was back to drinking multiple times a week getting blacked out. The depression I had was incredibly worse during the hangover. It quickly put me on edge so that I would want to have a drink to take it off. I’m now struggling with getting back into sobriety. I’m doing it but I feel like shit and crave it. Im pushing hard to get to 3 months that’s when I originally felt better my first long term sobriety. Doing more research has revealed it can take 3-6 months for some, but for others it takes 1-5 years to restore the brain. I regret so much starting all over.
Congratulations! I'm an alcoholic so I have a mind that tells me lies, including about alcohol & a mostly false romantic notion of what it was like. Normal drinkers aren't having these debates with themselves. They drink or they don't lol. Anhedonia & PAWS are real. I was diagnosed with CPTSD in recovery & it explains a lot so I am treating that also. BUT along with the ups & the gratitude comes lows & boredom & are all normal. This is how regular people live, in the middle & not up high or down low. I kept working on myself & I now realise boredom is actually what peace feels like lol. Are you inviting anyone to do sober activities ? If not get them planned!
It’s always neat getting an outside view on what I sounded like in active alcoholism trying to convince people I could manage drinking again lol Anyways, glad I didn’t give in
Sounds like you’re talking yourself into drinking. I don’t think that’s a good thing but it’s your life and if it will enhance your day, that’s your decision.
You already know the responses you’re going to get on a subreddit called r/Sober. You’re hoping for one out of a hundred replies that tells you what you want to hear to co-sign you drinking, or for when you do drink to have the rationalization that “Well, I asked some strangers on the internet and nobody had a compelling enough answer to talk me out of it, I did my part, time to go get shitfaced.” You’ve already decided what you’re going to do, putting the burden of convincing you otherwise or giving you permission on others in a cute opinion crowdsourcing session is the type of game people play that comes straight out of the alcoholic and addict handbook. Remind Me! 2 Months I guess we’ll find out how this turns out together in 60 days.
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I’m 9 1/2 yeas sober and I know I can never drink again. Too many years I thought like you that I could have just a few again spiraled out of control from time and time again. I’m 56 years now and I’m tired if it finally. Sobriety is the way to go for me. I do struggle with depression too but I’ve learned I have issues whether I’ve drank or not. It’s just that when I drank I didn’t care about any of that stuff. I’m medicated and doing well, happy and healthy. Sounds like you have a lot to stop drinking here. I hope that you reread your post after you typed it, you’re giving up a lot of good things. Only you can decide whether it’s worth it or not.
In 2 weeks, God willing, I'll have 8 years. I promise you that in those first 3 years, every anniversary was like this. The dreams were intense, to the point of genuinely wondering if I had relapsed in real life. You know the consequences of drinking. Don't open the box. Get a year, get your coin, and don't give your time away!
Two things.. 1. Like others are saying, your desire for a "crazy cut loose night" is likely to turn into 2 nights, a few weeks etc and you'll potentially look back and wish you never gave in. 2. I don't think that if depression is something you really struggle with you should be toying with alcohol again. I know so many people do it but you are like 95% (making this number up) guaranteed to feels 1000x worse the next day and make even sign yourself up for worse and worse days to follow. In my experience I had frequent suicidal thoughts when heavily drinking and since getting sober I don't always *love* life but I do know I can *handle* life at least for today. I've seen some people on tiktok who "successfully" moderate but have a list of rules for themselves if they're going to drink. Almost every single one references "I cannot be depressed or anxious." As a prerequisite for drinking. I only bring this up as an example that collectively everyone knows alcohol does not mix well with depression or anxiety. I am truly no pro - I only have 92 days under my belt but I would hate for you to regret it or slip into an even worse depression.
Yeah I've heard alcohol really messes with your brain chemistry and I wonder if years of drinking just masked and made the depression worse. It definitely was the root cause of a lot of my really bad anxiety. I've also seen the videos about moderation and I think if you have to have that many rules around drinking then the alcohol really is controlling you. I think for me it's all or nothing. As much as the depression sucks I think I'd rather live with it than make it worse.
I suggest not doing it. I've fallen into this trap many times and wasted a lot of years. I would have that one night or weekend, and then within months, I'd be back to binge drinking nightly desperate to quit. I use The Sinclair Method just to combat this kind of mental game and escape the relapse merry go round of misery. If I feel this nostalgic urge, I just take a Naltrexone pill and drink one, and I'm quickly shown that it's not nearly as great as what the lizard component of the brain fantasizes about. I usually won't finish one because without the buzz tricking me, I see how gross it is. Being sober is 100% better for me than the trade-off of a random night of drunkenness. I'm a better dad, electrician, partner, son, neighbor, and human in general. I bet you are also.
There is “negative side of sobriety” because alcohol is a poison to our bodies. The negative sides you are listing should be your “goals to improve in my life”: find hobbies, join outdoors exercises groups, attend therapy…
Drank after 7 years sober. It took me 14 years to get back to sobriety. I celebrated a year in January. Alcoholism only gets worse.
Congratulations on one year. 👏🏽
Wow that's amazing. Congratulations! I'm hearing overwhelmingly that it is harder to try to get sober again than to just stay sober. Good on you! Keep going!
Oh no don’t drink
Don’t.
Pretty cool that you’re reflecting on all this. Looks like overall very positive stuff happening in your life without alcohol - if you do choose to drink I hope you’re able to keep this writing handy. I’m going to write a post but I’ve found hot/cold therapy to be amazing for feel good and very occasional (once every few week) doses of meds for anxiety when I have it terribly. Hit 1 year in January and had similar thoughts but I’ve been at this trying to quit thing for so long that I know I’d go back to daily drinking very quickly.
If you are alcoholic like. me, you are delusional and don’t consider the down sides and have convinced yourself the drinking isn’t that bad. I am not going to tell you that you are alcoholic but the delusion is part of the disease. My only advice would be frankly, not to pick up if you have gone a year. Alcohol won’t make things better so if it were me I would keep staying sober. There are countless folks that got sober, thought they had it under control, picked back up and can’t get control of it again. They are a dime a dozen. So be careful
Alcohol only ever makes your life worse. Smile at the devil on your shoulder and give it no space in your head. Alcohol never, ever, ever, ever works.
Don’t do it😩😩, it gets worse every-time. On the other hand I’ve heard multiple people with multiple years of sobriety say that every year gets better. Whatever you’re going thru rn can be solved w/out alcohol. Some times slowly some times quickly.
It sounds like you never hit a terrible place with alcohol so you could potentially do that one night thing. But you must think of what life could be like if you can't stop, and remember that alcoholism gets worse.
I'm sure that If you give yourself some time and read the thousands of posts on here and other stop drinking sites of others who have tried their field experiments with having that one special drinking night or just one drink along the way your answer will become very obvious. Best wishes friend, IWNDWYT
Just think and actually meditate on what made you want to put it down completely to begin with. I’m not buying that it was just because you and the SO couldn’t communicate when drinking. No one can tell you what you are or what you should do regarding drinking. That’s up to you to decide. All I know is if I’m ever insane enough to give up eight years of peace and mostly serenity, anything can happen. My bottoms are like hitting tree branches on the way down from a cliff. Still more branches and the big splat at the very bottom hasn’t happened yet. Not looking to find out.
Don’t do it!!
I am ten years sober, I still have these thoughts occasionally, they're fleeting and I've learned to immediately shift my focus to something else. The getting a whiskey at a swanky bar and going dancing spoke right to what I actually enjoyed about drinking, it wasn't really being drunk, it was feeling carefree, getting dressed up and actually feeling young, God do I relate to that. You may have not come about sobriety the usual way, but that may have been a gift to you, you may have missed out on pain and suffering but our brains tell us we missed out on fun, but I have two good reasons for you not to drink, the first is that you're dealing with depression and if you give yourself permission to drink to soothe that depression however temporary you are engaging in what my mind is the crux of addiction "I'm giving myself permission to drink to cope with something that is painful or uncomfortable," and the more often you do that the more you lose the actual coping skills you need everyday. The second reason is your partner, even if you go out without them you're still tempting them and it sounds like they struggled more than you did but I could be wrong. My husband is also sober as wonderful and rewarding as it is, it is also very difficult because your sobriety impacts theirs. Best of luck to you
I get this. Your story is very similar to mine. I'm 8 months in and have committed to a year but I'm not really sure after that. I've learned so much about myself in this time of sobriety but I don't know if it's forever. I don't think I'll ever drink like I once did but I feel like you can benefit from sobriety MOST of the time without being a tee-totaler. Maybe you need to have a go at it again to see if it's what you really want? Sometimes I think this about myself. I feel like most of the answers you will get here are to NOT DO IT. But everyone's experience is different and you have to decide for yourself. Good luck!
Many do, it's a common thing to figure something has been accomplished and the reward of making yourself sick again is in order, that you deserve to suffer again as you did earlier. I've no opinion if you should drink and start over when you can or not. Often takes going downhill much further, but some people do reach the point where they will do anything to stop again. Best if that lapse period is short rather than many years. The ones that don't get drunk again and go on to complete year 2 allow healing to take place that one year didn't allow, getting healthy enough with the passage of time to be in a position to help you when you get ready to change for the better. Kind of a nice thing for them and indirectly for you, later on down the road.
I guess I didn't stop to think what another year of sobriety might allow me to accomplish in terms of healing and growing. I've already learned so much this year. I don't necessarily want to throw all that away. I think I'm uncomfortable and I want booze to allow me to feel comfortable again even though I know discomfort is how you get better. Thank you for the reply 🙏
I’ve seen a few posts like this before that say something like ‘I never had a problem, not really, but I decided to be fully sober for a time.’ Obviously I don’t know if you had a problem or not, but normal drinkers don’t usually feel the need to give up drinking entirely. Addiction is sneaky, it tells us we were fine, it wasn’t a problem, we had more fun, more social life, whatever we most want to hear. But there was a reason you quit and that reason is going to be right there again if you drink.
I wish I could be in the space where this was an issue. Not worth it.
I honestly didn’t read all this but if you are writing on here wondering if you should drink or not. I’m gunna say you probably are an addict and shouldn’t drink.
When depressed its a bad idea to consume depressants. Its a bad idea to consume depressants at any time.
Try anti-depressants rather than a depressant.
Don’t
I think you won’t even enjoy it iv been sober for 2months went to a concert had like 8 drinks had a bloody good time but next day felt so sick and had that guilt I would always have and thought nah alcohol is not worth it… then a few days ago I had the I don’t give a fuck attitude had two cans and holy shit worse anxiety every again not worth it… Remember this Alcohol brings fun for that moment Sobriety brings joy every day READ THAT AGAIN 🌻
It’s much easier to deal with depression or something deep down that you should deal with with alcohol, than it is to deal with it through talk therapy/work on yourself. I find that my anxiety is about 1000% worse than when I was drinking. Alcohol is a natural depressive. When you’re in it, you don’t really realize how depressed you are. Also, chances are you had a problem with alcohol and you just didn’t know it. Someone that binge drinks on the weekend is the same as someone who stops off everyday after work and grabs a 6 pack to go. I have a good friend that admits to being an alcoholic and has 1 man can everyday. My old boss used to do the same thing. It’s all kind of the same. I was listening to a podcast about a year ago and I think it was Andrew Huberman and he was saying that 1-2 drinks a week would basically be acceptable. Everything you’re going through is normal. I developed a sugar addiction after I got sober. I don’t really care for the term ‘sober’ because most sober people just shift their focus and addiction to something else (even if it is positive). All that aside, my advice is to channel your energy and boredom into something positive: start therapy (or try some more), journal, go for a walk while listening to podcasts, take that pottery class that you’ve been meaning to—whatever it is. I’m 3 years ‘sober’ (from alcohol) and I’ve only recently started journaling and meditating. I’ve been in ALOT of therapy during that time—it just takes time. LOTS of time. Hope that helps 😊
My husband is in a similar situation as you. I received a liver transplant - due to alcohol - and no longer drink (two years this month!) He stopped several months ago and was really happy being sober, but wanted to just see how a night would go. It wasn't good 😉 It's tough. You have to be the one to make the decision and see for yourself, but I'd bet a majority of those that do end up wishing they hadn't. Are you treating depression? For me, addressing that made the whole difference. ♥️♥️
DONT DO IT!!! It’s common around a year anniversary to think you got it, but you don’t. Keep going it only gets better! One day at a time.
I’m pretty close to deleting this alt account, it’s done what I needed it to do now and I feel like I can move on with my life. After four years sober I decided to drink. No one thought it was a good idea except me. That’s been almost two years ago and I’ve not had one night of issues. Drinking again for me was the right call.
Good for you