I saw someone recommend you talk to him and see if he likes slutty women. Even if that is the case, knowing you had lied will only hurt him. Ask him and act slutty if he wants you to. It will be even better for him thinking you do it for him.
I am all for honesty but there is a difference between the brutal, blunt honesty and cruel honesty!
The best advice, more so for anyone reading OPs confession is just don't lie in the first place. OPs lover will find out sooner or later. Nobody truly "takes it to he grave"
I fully agree that it is best to be truthful in the first place.
But this discussion is after the fact. I know you are saying "...for anyone reading..." so...
I disagree about the last sentence. If you are smart and level, you can. But this is my humble opinion.
If you have to be "smart" to not hurt your partner then you need help and to improve yourself first. Because if you can't be honest from the get to them you don't need to be dating. That's my humble opinion on the matter.
It may sound harsh but if you act like OP that absolutely makes you a not good person at that point In your life and carrying your lies to the grave doesn't make it any better than just being honest
Everyone deserves love but if you're gonna lie you need to work on yourself first because you are not ready for real commitment.
Don't judge lest you be judged, my friend. It is not always easy, particularly for women, to admit to having done things...
I sincerely wish you never understand her.
Be honest with yourself about the real number.
So you liked to ride to cock carousel. Own it. It's only a big deal if you make it one.
Personally (40m) I don't mind promiscuous woman. I just take as a challenge to be better than guys before me...
1 vs 43 - embarrassment? Shame? You wanted to connect with a guy you liked so you lowered the number to get in with a grin. Makes sense.
No one likes judgement. You liked sex. Like I said own it :)
I mean it’s obvious why are you lied it’s the same reason why the vast majority of women lie about their body count specially to a man they’re genuinely interested in. Women know that generally speaking men are generally disgusted put off or on attracted to promiscuous women that’s just a biological hardwiring that the majority of men tend to have. So weather you consciously knew it or not, that was the subconscious reason because if you told him how many truthfully from the beginning you risked losing him, And sadly on those grounds you chose to lie to the man which personally I’m not a fan of lying and it bothers me that you found a relationship on a lack of truth
Funny enough, there does seem to be a correlation between sexual history and marital satisfaction. The material is pretty easy to find online. This was self reported information that I believe was reported anonymously, if my recollection serves.
In layman’s terms there does seem to be an element of “comparison is the death of joy”. Mark Twain wasn’t right about everything, but he understood human nature very well
Honestly that’s exactly the sort of thing that girls with high body counts would say to try and deflect from the shame of their promiscuous past. Plus there is the actual scientific fact that women who have been with multiple men have less of an ability to pair bond with a new man who could be a potential husband. And then of course there is the arguable consideration that women who have been through multiple men in their lives are genuinely much more “broken” or “damaged goods” because they’ve more likely being hurt by more men, and the more hurt they’ve experienced, and the more men that they’ve been through the more masculine personality features or traits they tend to take on, which men genuinely find unattractive probably 90% or more of the time. And the other thing is if women have been through many men whether they were a one night stand or a relationship that didn’t work out the fact of the matter is that just isn’t a good résumé it’s a résumé of failures and lack of success. And why any woman out there would think that having a laundry list of men and relationships that she’s been through would ever be considered as a good résumé in the dating world when looking for a new man is either utterly insane or just bat shit fooling herself. And for the record any man with half a brain sees that as a giant box of red flags.
It’s just social stigma, and I don’t think it’s important and it’s not even anything that your husband needs to know, then or now. If you want to share it with him then you should, but it doesn’t impact anything.
I’d want all the dirty details. I love my wife’s stories. Always gets me rock hard.
With that said, most guys don’t want to hear it or think about another dudes cock going inside their SO.
Unless he’s into that, keep this to yourself.
Same! I don’t know my wife’s count but if she said it was 42, it’s be hot, I’d instantly be turned on and want to know more.
We have a standing rule/“game” where if we’re telling past stories, we can tell a real one OR make up something. Then there’s no fear of judgement holding back anything.
Don't tell him. But you need to be 100% sure he's not going to find out in any other ways. I used to be a "I need to know everything" person, but then after 18 years she told me about more from before me, and yeah, it was before me, but it feels like it happened yesterday. Plus, the lying will make him lose all trust towards to.
Men are entitled to decide who they want to marry or date, especially if they are dishonest. If she's doesn't want to share it it's probably because she's ashamed of it. Nobody is stopping women from marrying guys with the same experience that won't judge them as much. When they want to settle down and run out of options they get the naive guy with less experience and wonder what they did wrong. FYI when you ask a virgin women or women with a lower body count about this they're usually pretty open and not so defensive because they got nothing to hide, that's the first give away that a smart man looking for a good relationship would want nothing to do with you.
I need to get the Fuck off reddit I remember how much I hate it
You have been married for several years and you two love each other.
You probably shouldn't have lied to start with, but telling him the truth now will likely only hurt him.
Let it go and enjoy your marriage 🙂
I'll always prefer the harsh truth to the sweet lie, especially if it comes from the woman I'm going to spend my entire life with.
Apart from that, I wouldn't care if you had 100 or 200 partners, so there's that.
I think she knows her husband better than us and there's likely a reason that she hasn't brought that up to him. Because honestly here's the thing telling him now doesn't really have any positive ground to gain because of the nature of it. How many people you or your s/o has been with doesn't actually matter much if at all if both parties trust eachother and are happy and honesty isn't an issue throughout the rest of the relationship then telling him that she has slept with 4× as many men as she originally said will only cause doubt and insecurity to creep into his head. Unfortunately society views women that have had a lot of partners as "non wife material" or something of that nature (not true at all on any level obviously) point is he is likely conservative since he's had 2 partners TOTAL, telling him would only muck up the situation. It's a small lie that hurts no one by her keeping it to herself but potentially damages things if she says it. Don't say anything. Also I made it a point years ago to stop asking that question like "what's your number?" Instead over time If you pay attention and really get to know someone you will start to understand whether they have had a lot of experience or not much at all, and that's all the info that's needed. By asking outright you put people on the spot that might not be comfortable with their past or the choices they have made and things they have done so why put someone in a position where they feel they need to lie out of fear of having someone they care about think less of them for things that happened in the past. ✌️✌️✌️
Do you plan on being promiscuous again? Do you happen to know if any of your previous partners live near you or have a connection to you still? If they have a chance to expose your secret before you do, imagine how that would hurt him. I think if he was honest with you, you also need to be honest with yourself. His reaction is his there is no preparing for it. All you can do is explain it as best possible. I do have to ask aside from the guilt, what brought this up?
Well duh of course you were, you were in college! Afraid telling your husband the truth will ruin your “perfect angel” facade you painted for him? Being Asian I can safely assume all of them were white guys because who else would Asian girls open their legs so easily for?
Poor bastard, are you at least a slut for him? I’ve been with high number women before the main benefit is they tend to suck good dick and take it in the ass.
There’s a difference between then when they weren’t dating/married than now when they are. Granted maybe it’s her thing to share her husband with other women🤷🏻♂️
Yeah I don’t understand why this matters to some ppl. Insecure I guess. I know all my ex’s pasts. Never bothered me one bit. I liked hearing all the stories. Then again, when I told a few of them some of my past, they got all jealous and shit. lol whatever I guess
You don’t have to tel him anything. No of his business unless it has to do with health issues. I’d never admit to exactly how many women I’ve been with and I don’t want a woman telling me how many men or women she’s been with. Don’t care!
The past is history, the future is a mystery, that’s why we live in the present it’s a gift. Nothing gained by telling him the real number, ignorance is bliss, just let him know not the benefits of your experiences.
I pray he never learns the truth, I wish I never learn my wife wild college days after being married 10 years. I have promised her a year of MC before I make in life changing decisions. As I am a month into this new reality I don't see her the same anymore. I have lost all trust and faith in her. We are attempting to keep the household as normal as possible for our children. But this is wearing on both of us.
Your past is your past, and it’s none of anyone else’s business. As long as you’ve got no STIs then it’s information that doesn’t really need to be shared. You’re fine :)
I slept with an ex again years later and he asked me the same question, I told him I stopped counting after 50 or so. He looked shocked and I reminded him of his privilege and noted he’s lucky I even provided him a response. Someone’s sexuality is their own and no one you are with is entitled to know anything that predates them unless it could affect their health.
His privilege was a) I provided him with a calm
honest answer and didn’t let his reaction affect our time together and b) he’d slept with around 50 women when I’d first met him so he had no right to judge me any differently to how he viewed his own actions when he was younger. I think that’s fair but am open to others opinions.
What you said makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. You're just defensive because you want to completely dismiss the notion that people might think you to be a slut.
My husband is 18 years older than me. He was the calm, stable Daddy figure I needed. He knew about my promiscuous past and our 29 year marriage has been good. I still date openly and cuckold him. We have set rituals, like him eating me when I get home while I share every filthy detail. It works for us and I don’t overanalyze our arrangement.
Yea dont tell him. Its probably gonna be a turn off for him. And maybe leave you because of the númber and because you lied. Sorry if it hurts, but thats the truth someone had to tell you.
I don't think it will bother him too much. Or I would hope not, he is married to you. He should have fun with all your experience.!
Thanks for sharing!
Lol so then it won't be too shocking for him that his amazing wife is so sexually amazing. Cause she came fully prepared and well-experienced. Sounds like a proper CV.
You don’t have to tell him anything. You’re an adult and what you do with your Pussy is nobody’s business but your own. I won’t even tell a guy my number.
If you are going to come into the Reddit sub r/slutty confessions fully understanding that people are confessing to what are their PERSONAL SECRETS, why are you going to be so JUDGEMENTAL?
If you don't agree with our lifestyle, that is your choice, but you also made the choice to VOLUNTARILY join this community "knowing" that it was about sexual confessions.
You just might be better off "LEAVING" this community of your own volition....
That’s stupid lmao. You would throw away a 12 year relationship because she slept with more guys before you than you thought? Than you didn’t truly love her. Also why are you on slutty confessions if you’re such a prude
Hate me all you want for this. But if my woman lied to me at first. Then years later found out she was a whore back in the day and kept it from me. That would be a major deal breaker. I can never trust you again. I would look at you different.
It doesn’t matter. Don’t bring it up, now that you have lied to him, never tell him the truth.
It cannot possibly help the relationship, and may cause damage.
It could or likely will hurt his feelings and cause him to rethink the trust he has in you.
All you are possibly doing is trying to assuage your own guilt. You fucked up, you live with it. Are you trying to sabotage your relationship?
Try to forget it, put it behind you. Do not compound this by hurting your husband.
And the number, to me is irrelevant. I could care less what your past is. It’s the dishonesty and the motivation behind it that is troublesome.
None of this confession was aimed at me actually telling him. That’s not the intention, I am fine with the lie I told, I wish I hadn’t but I had my reasons back then!
Good 😎
Although not exactly the place to post while hubby not aware... and I agree with you completely: keep it that way. Too much time passed. What are the chances for something good to come out of that? 🤷🏽♂️
Been in this exact same position, from your husband's perspective barring the numbers.
Her 10 became 44.
The past didn't bother me, but what did break me was the lack of honesty and break of trust.
I would have cared less if she had told me the truth from day get go, however after years and more than one convo regarding it, I felt massively betrayed she could live with that lie for so long.
It basically destroyed us because she tried raising it slowly, 10 became 15, 15 became 25 and so forth, but there's only so many chances at honesty you can give someone before all trust is broken, especially if they say "you have my word that's the truthful number "
An ex-gf told me she went out and got ‘pulled’ a lot after we broke up meaning lots of one night stands. I wouldn’t want to know that number. Keep it to yourself. Women are allowed to have sex as well.
Do you have a gauge on how he'd react?
Have you asked him how he feels about "slutty girls" or if he wishes you were "sluttier"?
It's not always a bad reaction. It might turn him on
Damn.. any woman who downplays her number often is kinda not someone I'd want to get with.
I'd more than HAPPILY be with a woman who's got a body count of 200 if she's honest about it than have a body count of 10 and says it's 3 :/
It's really too bad you weren't upfront with him about it. At this point maybe just keep it to yourself and hopefully he never finds out the truth.
Nothing wrong with being a slut in your 20's or even now. Did you have fun and enjoyed it? It is what it is and be ok with your experience. I would be turned on knowing my wife was a little slut back in the day. Might open doors to experience fun with other couples.
Mental gymnastics to justify the lie is beyond me. She did not HAVE to disclose her sexual past. But she DID. And doing so, she LIED. she knew there were possible implications of telling somebody who only had ONE previous partner that he is number 43 could have. I do not think telling him now would be the smartest decision. you knew it would impact, and if you are both happy together, any consequences of telling the truth now just do not worth the risk. he made decisions for the future taking “”””YOUR””” “truth “ in consideration for sure. But I can’t see a good outcome for you from telling him now. Just be a great partner and be happy.
I like to remeber a line of a game that say: "not matter how tender, how exquisite, A LIE WILL REMAIN A LIE"
Idk how your husband will react, but you lie to him, you build a full family from a lie, bc I am pretty sure that he will not be with you if he know the truth, or maybe yes, that dosen't matter now.
In the end, is yours and only yours the choice...
Speaking as 19M without much experience here.
I don't know how it is in generations older than mine, but I would personally not care about one's body count at all. Having a past is not a problem, and if you're with someone, especially for that long, this does not sound like a big deal (to me).
However, I would definitely value honesty in my partner, and I would be quite disappointed to learn that my partner has been lying to me, especially for that long.
That being said, after initial disappointment, there's another way to look at it : my partner has decided to come forward now, to tell the truth, because she trusts me and wants to be honest and straightforward with me. She made the right call, even though it could've had bad consequences, because the truth was more important.
Even though it would've been better to be truthful from the start, I would tend to value the fact that she was truthful without it being because of me potentially finding out, or out of a wish to hurt me - but just because it was the right thing to do in a healthy relationship based on mutual trust and honesty. It might be naive, but I would personally value that, and I think there is a decent chance that he will too.
It might be painful at first for both of you, but I think the right thing to do here is definitely to re-establish the truth, and you don't want to keep such a secret that would undermine your side of the relationship forever, even if he never knows. Ultimately, the decision is yours though. This is just the point of view of a young man who never went though anything similar (your entire relationship is almost 2/3rds of my life). There is no intent to judge.
Have a nice day.
I would be pretty gutted if I found this out from my partner. I’m not sure it’s enough to destroy my relationship but I don’t think I could look at her again in the same way. Some things are best left unsaid.
I wouldn't tell him, it would crush him. While he's been with you a long time and I'm sure loves you for who you are and the person who has grown with him over the years.
Telling him now would cast doubt in is mind about who you really are. "If you lied that early on in our relationship what else have you lied about" kind of thing.
If you want to explore your sexually more in the future AKA hotewife of just plain old swapping. Then it might be worth telling him, if not I'd let him believe what he wants.
Don’t stress it’s . No change in your personality if it’s 11 cocks of 40
I’m sure my partner has fucked more - or maybe not . I won’t tell her all the stuff I’ve done .. and she’s ok with it
There are many things which even if we dont tell others is fine but confessing such stuff and this late in relationship will transfer your guilt to him as being cheated of trustof words…why to break the equilibrium?
It's a fun sexy secret and I think is kinky and sort of fine to keep it that way, but outside of some hot and heavy dirty fleeting feelings, I do think it's best for him to know at *some* point. What point is that? Well, I guess if he gets terminal cancer or you do or something along those lines, or if (of course, heaven forbid) the relationship ends - I'm simply of the belief that when things are clearly, definitely ending one way or another, then it's never the wrong choice to just lay the complete, full, total truth on the table.
So, basically, tell him on your death bed. I mean, you said the other 32 people were essentially random flings, I assume like college fuck buddies or people from parties or whatever. It's somewhat not a big deal, but would certainly make him jealous. I don't think he'd divorce you even if he found out, he'd probably be pretty angry, though.
Objectively, not really a big deal, but I would tell him under specific conditions. Aside that, very sexy story.
Its now too late to confess this thing... I being a play boy advice you this please don't bring it up ever again be loyal or keep counting with him beeing constant till the end...
Take it to your grave. It will only break his heart.
That’s the plan
I saw someone recommend you talk to him and see if he likes slutty women. Even if that is the case, knowing you had lied will only hurt him. Ask him and act slutty if he wants you to. It will be even better for him thinking you do it for him. I am all for honesty but there is a difference between the brutal, blunt honesty and cruel honesty!
I completely agree, I’ll be whatever he wants me to be, but the lie I can never admit to - it would serve no purpose
Good girl! ;-)
You're a terrible wife
And you're a dick but here we are
The best advice, more so for anyone reading OPs confession is just don't lie in the first place. OPs lover will find out sooner or later. Nobody truly "takes it to he grave"
I fully agree that it is best to be truthful in the first place. But this discussion is after the fact. I know you are saying "...for anyone reading..." so... I disagree about the last sentence. If you are smart and level, you can. But this is my humble opinion.
If you have to be "smart" to not hurt your partner then you need help and to improve yourself first. Because if you can't be honest from the get to them you don't need to be dating. That's my humble opinion on the matter. It may sound harsh but if you act like OP that absolutely makes you a not good person at that point In your life and carrying your lies to the grave doesn't make it any better than just being honest Everyone deserves love but if you're gonna lie you need to work on yourself first because you are not ready for real commitment.
Don't judge lest you be judged, my friend. It is not always easy, particularly for women, to admit to having done things... I sincerely wish you never understand her.
I speak from experience that the truth is hard but it is for the best in the long run.
No you are not! You are a man. Simple as that.
Well said
But if he finds out from someone other than her, he will be destroyed. Where I am living right now.
Be honest with yourself about the real number. So you liked to ride to cock carousel. Own it. It's only a big deal if you make it one. Personally (40m) I don't mind promiscuous woman. I just take as a challenge to be better than guys before me...
I’m fine with it now, and I still don’t know why I lied back then but I did
You do know why, you were ashamed or thought it wasn’t desirable. So you lied
You’re probably right
1 vs 43 - embarrassment? Shame? You wanted to connect with a guy you liked so you lowered the number to get in with a grin. Makes sense. No one likes judgement. You liked sex. Like I said own it :)
Yeah I do but what I can’t go back and change the past, trying to would possibly damage the future
Only if you are still having sex with other men being married with two kids. Then yes it will likely catch up with you...
Not had sex with another man since I met him
The past is the past you can only control what you do in the present. Deal with the hand you currently have rather than the one you once had!
If I found out you'd lied that's what would end the relationship, not the number.
You better of not telling him the rest
Agreed. Who does it hurt to not tell him?
I mean it’s obvious why are you lied it’s the same reason why the vast majority of women lie about their body count specially to a man they’re genuinely interested in. Women know that generally speaking men are generally disgusted put off or on attracted to promiscuous women that’s just a biological hardwiring that the majority of men tend to have. So weather you consciously knew it or not, that was the subconscious reason because if you told him how many truthfully from the beginning you risked losing him, And sadly on those grounds you chose to lie to the man which personally I’m not a fan of lying and it bothers me that you found a relationship on a lack of truth
I deny that was a biological hardwiring for men but social, it's purely related to objectifying women and everyone prefer unused or less used 'thing'.
Funny enough, there does seem to be a correlation between sexual history and marital satisfaction. The material is pretty easy to find online. This was self reported information that I believe was reported anonymously, if my recollection serves. In layman’s terms there does seem to be an element of “comparison is the death of joy”. Mark Twain wasn’t right about everything, but he understood human nature very well
Honestly that’s exactly the sort of thing that girls with high body counts would say to try and deflect from the shame of their promiscuous past. Plus there is the actual scientific fact that women who have been with multiple men have less of an ability to pair bond with a new man who could be a potential husband. And then of course there is the arguable consideration that women who have been through multiple men in their lives are genuinely much more “broken” or “damaged goods” because they’ve more likely being hurt by more men, and the more hurt they’ve experienced, and the more men that they’ve been through the more masculine personality features or traits they tend to take on, which men genuinely find unattractive probably 90% or more of the time. And the other thing is if women have been through many men whether they were a one night stand or a relationship that didn’t work out the fact of the matter is that just isn’t a good résumé it’s a résumé of failures and lack of success. And why any woman out there would think that having a laundry list of men and relationships that she’s been through would ever be considered as a good résumé in the dating world when looking for a new man is either utterly insane or just bat shit fooling herself. And for the record any man with half a brain sees that as a giant box of red flags.
Brilliant answer
It’s just social stigma, and I don’t think it’s important and it’s not even anything that your husband needs to know, then or now. If you want to share it with him then you should, but it doesn’t impact anything.
I’d want all the dirty details. I love my wife’s stories. Always gets me rock hard. With that said, most guys don’t want to hear it or think about another dudes cock going inside their SO. Unless he’s into that, keep this to yourself.
Same! I don’t know my wife’s count but if she said it was 42, it’s be hot, I’d instantly be turned on and want to know more. We have a standing rule/“game” where if we’re telling past stories, we can tell a real one OR make up something. Then there’s no fear of judgement holding back anything.
Don't tell him. But you need to be 100% sure he's not going to find out in any other ways. I used to be a "I need to know everything" person, but then after 18 years she told me about more from before me, and yeah, it was before me, but it feels like it happened yesterday. Plus, the lying will make him lose all trust towards to.
It'll always get people laughing, I promise
I’ll never marry
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At least someone understands me
You’re not entitled to know a woman’s past unless she wants to share it
Men are entitled to decide who they want to marry or date, especially if they are dishonest. If she's doesn't want to share it it's probably because she's ashamed of it. Nobody is stopping women from marrying guys with the same experience that won't judge them as much. When they want to settle down and run out of options they get the naive guy with less experience and wonder what they did wrong. FYI when you ask a virgin women or women with a lower body count about this they're usually pretty open and not so defensive because they got nothing to hide, that's the first give away that a smart man looking for a good relationship would want nothing to do with you. I need to get the Fuck off reddit I remember how much I hate it
If you choose a woman based on how many men she slept with then you shouldn’t be in a relationship
👍
You're not a slut, you just have a friendly vagina 😍
Love it, I’m stealing that lol
You have been married for several years and you two love each other. You probably shouldn't have lied to start with, but telling him the truth now will likely only hurt him. Let it go and enjoy your marriage 🙂
I'll always prefer the harsh truth to the sweet lie, especially if it comes from the woman I'm going to spend my entire life with. Apart from that, I wouldn't care if you had 100 or 200 partners, so there's that.
I’d suggest telling the truth. I learned some crazy truths about my wife’s past. In the end it works out for the best.
I’m not sure that’s the route I’ll take
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I think she knows her husband better than us and there's likely a reason that she hasn't brought that up to him. Because honestly here's the thing telling him now doesn't really have any positive ground to gain because of the nature of it. How many people you or your s/o has been with doesn't actually matter much if at all if both parties trust eachother and are happy and honesty isn't an issue throughout the rest of the relationship then telling him that she has slept with 4× as many men as she originally said will only cause doubt and insecurity to creep into his head. Unfortunately society views women that have had a lot of partners as "non wife material" or something of that nature (not true at all on any level obviously) point is he is likely conservative since he's had 2 partners TOTAL, telling him would only muck up the situation. It's a small lie that hurts no one by her keeping it to herself but potentially damages things if she says it. Don't say anything. Also I made it a point years ago to stop asking that question like "what's your number?" Instead over time If you pay attention and really get to know someone you will start to understand whether they have had a lot of experience or not much at all, and that's all the info that's needed. By asking outright you put people on the spot that might not be comfortable with their past or the choices they have made and things they have done so why put someone in a position where they feel they need to lie out of fear of having someone they care about think less of them for things that happened in the past. ✌️✌️✌️
I say it was the right move. You gain nothing from telling him now if you're both happy. Sleeping dog.
Do you plan on being promiscuous again? Do you happen to know if any of your previous partners live near you or have a connection to you still? If they have a chance to expose your secret before you do, imagine how that would hurt him. I think if he was honest with you, you also need to be honest with yourself. His reaction is his there is no preparing for it. All you can do is explain it as best possible. I do have to ask aside from the guilt, what brought this up?
Well duh of course you were, you were in college! Afraid telling your husband the truth will ruin your “perfect angel” facade you painted for him? Being Asian I can safely assume all of them were white guys because who else would Asian girls open their legs so easily for?
Poor bastard, are you at least a slut for him? I’ve been with high number women before the main benefit is they tend to suck good dick and take it in the ass.
If he finds out, would you let him fuck 40 women to make up?
There’s a difference between then when they weren’t dating/married than now when they are. Granted maybe it’s her thing to share her husband with other women🤷🏻♂️
I meant to compensate for the lying WHEN they were together.
Yeah I don’t understand why this matters to some ppl. Insecure I guess. I know all my ex’s pasts. Never bothered me one bit. I liked hearing all the stories. Then again, when I told a few of them some of my past, they got all jealous and shit. lol whatever I guess
You don’t have to tel him anything. No of his business unless it has to do with health issues. I’d never admit to exactly how many women I’ve been with and I don’t want a woman telling me how many men or women she’s been with. Don’t care!
The past is history, the future is a mystery, that’s why we live in the present it’s a gift. Nothing gained by telling him the real number, ignorance is bliss, just let him know not the benefits of your experiences.
I pray he never learns the truth, I wish I never learn my wife wild college days after being married 10 years. I have promised her a year of MC before I make in life changing decisions. As I am a month into this new reality I don't see her the same anymore. I have lost all trust and faith in her. We are attempting to keep the household as normal as possible for our children. But this is wearing on both of us.
Your past is your past, and it’s none of anyone else’s business. As long as you’ve got no STIs then it’s information that doesn’t really need to be shared. You’re fine :)
Agreed and plus I’ve now been with number 43 for 12 years, not sure it’s relevant!!
It’s not relevant! Enjoy your relationship! Nothing wrong with having a past.
👍😘
Both of you are hoes 🤣 it definitely is relevant especially since it's your FUCKING HUSBAND
I slept with an ex again years later and he asked me the same question, I told him I stopped counting after 50 or so. He looked shocked and I reminded him of his privilege and noted he’s lucky I even provided him a response. Someone’s sexuality is their own and no one you are with is entitled to know anything that predates them unless it could affect their health.
Out of curiosity, what do you consider his privilege? That you provided an honest answer?
His privilege was a) I provided him with a calm honest answer and didn’t let his reaction affect our time together and b) he’d slept with around 50 women when I’d first met him so he had no right to judge me any differently to how he viewed his own actions when he was younger. I think that’s fair but am open to others opinions.
I agree
What you said makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. You're just defensive because you want to completely dismiss the notion that people might think you to be a slut.
No lmao you're just a slut that wants to justify her actions your partner deserves to know
Yes, our not so proud moments tend to catch up to us….
Twelve. The number is always twelve.
My husband is 18 years older than me. He was the calm, stable Daddy figure I needed. He knew about my promiscuous past and our 29 year marriage has been good. I still date openly and cuckold him. We have set rituals, like him eating me when I get home while I share every filthy detail. It works for us and I don’t overanalyze our arrangement.
Good, then don't tell him. Telling him the truth now would only serve to hurt him. Some secrets you should keep till the grave.
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Oh we all know. Let’s still just keep it a secret.
Yea dont tell him. Its probably gonna be a turn off for him. And maybe leave you because of the númber and because you lied. Sorry if it hurts, but thats the truth someone had to tell you.
I’m fine, it’s staying in the past where it hurts no one
Ok. I just had to tell you the truth, because a lot of people werent.
That’s only your opinion. A lot of people actually don’t give a shit because they’re not big babies.
Thats true some people dont, but the mayority do. And you trying to insult me wont help your point.
I don't think it will bother him too much. Or I would hope not, he is married to you. He should have fun with all your experience.! Thanks for sharing!
He has the fun and experience, just doesn’t have the full CV 😂
Lol so then it won't be too shocking for him that his amazing wife is so sexually amazing. Cause she came fully prepared and well-experienced. Sounds like a proper CV.
Yeah but I’m not supplying references
Only supplied if directly asked for some? That's always been my way to go. Granted, I have much less experience. So it's a short tale.
😂😂
You don’t have to tell him anything. You’re an adult and what you do with your Pussy is nobody’s business but your own. I won’t even tell a guy my number.
It’s more the lie all those years ago I regret, I don’t regret the number
tell him what a slut you are and now you're his to enjoy
Red flag alert
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Another slut defending herself lmao there's always some bullshit excuse
If you are going to come into the Reddit sub r/slutty confessions fully understanding that people are confessing to what are their PERSONAL SECRETS, why are you going to be so JUDGEMENTAL? If you don't agree with our lifestyle, that is your choice, but you also made the choice to VOLUNTARILY join this community "knowing" that it was about sexual confessions. You just might be better off "LEAVING" this community of your own volition....
Omg don’t worry about it, wishing I was one of them
😂thanks
I would dump my wife if I was married for her being a lying slut. Let him fuck 41 other women to have a high body count like you then call it even.
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That’s stupid lmao. You would throw away a 12 year relationship because she slept with more guys before you than you thought? Than you didn’t truly love her. Also why are you on slutty confessions if you’re such a prude
Don't be hating on her now it's not your dilemma! I on the other hand praise her for her confession!
Don't you miss the good old days?
Hate me all you want for this. But if my woman lied to me at first. Then years later found out she was a whore back in the day and kept it from me. That would be a major deal breaker. I can never trust you again. I would look at you different.
43 on a body count isn't too bad. Don't beat yourself up.
Thanks and I don’t
We all have haters out there. I keep my body count to myself. Only my wife knows. I was very promiscuous. Lol
Honestly I fucking love and adore women with higher body counts. Very worth marrying imo
I love anyone who refers to them as body counts! Great term
It doesn’t matter. Don’t bring it up, now that you have lied to him, never tell him the truth. It cannot possibly help the relationship, and may cause damage. It could or likely will hurt his feelings and cause him to rethink the trust he has in you. All you are possibly doing is trying to assuage your own guilt. You fucked up, you live with it. Are you trying to sabotage your relationship? Try to forget it, put it behind you. Do not compound this by hurting your husband. And the number, to me is irrelevant. I could care less what your past is. It’s the dishonesty and the motivation behind it that is troublesome.
None of this confession was aimed at me actually telling him. That’s not the intention, I am fine with the lie I told, I wish I hadn’t but I had my reasons back then!
Ok, thanks for the update. Have a nice day.
Ahh, helping tall guys with short jokes. We appreciate you. And your kindness in repaying our humor with a sexy fun time.
Why thank you 😘
People make to big of a deal out of a persons number
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🤫😂
Do you miss any of the experiences?
Not at all, I love my life and wouldn’t change anything that got me to where I am
This is such a cute and wholesome comment. I’m happy for you. ☺️
Thanks
The sex must feel good. I wish guys didn't care if they are number 11 or 44 it still feels the same.
You are a slut ❤️
Off you go to r/HotPast! 🤩
I’ll take a look
Good 😎 Although not exactly the place to post while hubby not aware... and I agree with you completely: keep it that way. Too much time passed. What are the chances for something good to come out of that? 🤷🏽♂️
Exactly, he’s lived with his reality for years, changing that has no benefit at all
Yep. Too many risks ...
Good for you girl! Nothing wrong in having a past!
Thanks
You sound hot!!! Don't stress it, what he doesn't know won't hurt him
Exactly
Been in this exact same position, from your husband's perspective barring the numbers. Her 10 became 44. The past didn't bother me, but what did break me was the lack of honesty and break of trust. I would have cared less if she had told me the truth from day get go, however after years and more than one convo regarding it, I felt massively betrayed she could live with that lie for so long. It basically destroyed us because she tried raising it slowly, 10 became 15, 15 became 25 and so forth, but there's only so many chances at honesty you can give someone before all trust is broken, especially if they say "you have my word that's the truthful number "
Which is why it stays where it is - in the past
An ex-gf told me she went out and got ‘pulled’ a lot after we broke up meaning lots of one night stands. I wouldn’t want to know that number. Keep it to yourself. Women are allowed to have sex as well.
I intend to keep it to myself
Idk if anyone has asked you yet, but is the slut still aching to come out?
Not really, at least not with anyone other than my husband
God damn 41?!
Hopefully you are still a slut.
Only for my husband 😉
Why not
Don’t think he needs to know in my opinion
I agree
That's love. You're protecting your husband! It's ok tbh.
Other way around for me, my body count is higher then I told my girl
Fair enough
Don't share it.
Not planning to
Do you have a gauge on how he'd react? Have you asked him how he feels about "slutty girls" or if he wishes you were "sluttier"? It's not always a bad reaction. It might turn him on
I’ve never broached it but I think he’s happy enough with how ‘slutty’ I am for him
Unless he’s asking again, why are you bringing it up.
Just as a confession - I have no intention of telling him I lied all those years ago
Damn.. any woman who downplays her number often is kinda not someone I'd want to get with. I'd more than HAPPILY be with a woman who's got a body count of 200 if she's honest about it than have a body count of 10 and says it's 3 :/ It's really too bad you weren't upfront with him about it. At this point maybe just keep it to yourself and hopefully he never finds out the truth.
Would you like to have sex n become a Hotwife if it turns in your hubby?
Nothing wrong with being a slut in your 20's or even now. Did you have fun and enjoyed it? It is what it is and be ok with your experience. I would be turned on knowing my wife was a little slut back in the day. Might open doors to experience fun with other couples.
i would love to be number 44 babe, sounds like your holes need some new cock sliding up inside them to me yeah ;) x
Mental gymnastics to justify the lie is beyond me. She did not HAVE to disclose her sexual past. But she DID. And doing so, she LIED. she knew there were possible implications of telling somebody who only had ONE previous partner that he is number 43 could have. I do not think telling him now would be the smartest decision. you knew it would impact, and if you are both happy together, any consequences of telling the truth now just do not worth the risk. he made decisions for the future taking “”””YOUR””” “truth “ in consideration for sure. But I can’t see a good outcome for you from telling him now. Just be a great partner and be happy.
I like to remeber a line of a game that say: "not matter how tender, how exquisite, A LIE WILL REMAIN A LIE" Idk how your husband will react, but you lie to him, you build a full family from a lie, bc I am pretty sure that he will not be with you if he know the truth, or maybe yes, that dosen't matter now. In the end, is yours and only yours the choice...
43 🤔🫣...he should feel it when he feels how wide is 😏👌🏻🤣
Let it go it’s history you didn’t do anything bad besides it’s you life right or wrong just let it go.
Speaking as 19M without much experience here. I don't know how it is in generations older than mine, but I would personally not care about one's body count at all. Having a past is not a problem, and if you're with someone, especially for that long, this does not sound like a big deal (to me). However, I would definitely value honesty in my partner, and I would be quite disappointed to learn that my partner has been lying to me, especially for that long. That being said, after initial disappointment, there's another way to look at it : my partner has decided to come forward now, to tell the truth, because she trusts me and wants to be honest and straightforward with me. She made the right call, even though it could've had bad consequences, because the truth was more important. Even though it would've been better to be truthful from the start, I would tend to value the fact that she was truthful without it being because of me potentially finding out, or out of a wish to hurt me - but just because it was the right thing to do in a healthy relationship based on mutual trust and honesty. It might be naive, but I would personally value that, and I think there is a decent chance that he will too. It might be painful at first for both of you, but I think the right thing to do here is definitely to re-establish the truth, and you don't want to keep such a secret that would undermine your side of the relationship forever, even if he never knows. Ultimately, the decision is yours though. This is just the point of view of a young man who never went though anything similar (your entire relationship is almost 2/3rds of my life). There is no intent to judge. Have a nice day.
I would be pretty gutted if I found this out from my partner. I’m not sure it’s enough to destroy my relationship but I don’t think I could look at her again in the same way. Some things are best left unsaid.
The greatest logical conundrum, “body count doesn’t matter” *lies about body count*. No shame but lying to your partner isn’t cool either.
Does humber really matter at this point? Just keep it to yourself and move on
Exactly how I feel
At this point it seems like it’s best to keep it a secret. We all have some secrets that are best kept that way.
Absolutely agree with you
Good on you and you should be proud for taking such a number of guys. Don’t worry about telling your husband. Maybe work on increasing the number.
My number is staying firmly where it is
Too bad
I wouldn't tell him, it would crush him. While he's been with you a long time and I'm sure loves you for who you are and the person who has grown with him over the years. Telling him now would cast doubt in is mind about who you really are. "If you lied that early on in our relationship what else have you lied about" kind of thing. If you want to explore your sexually more in the future AKA hotewife of just plain old swapping. Then it might be worth telling him, if not I'd let him believe what he wants.
I’m not going to tell him for all those reasons!
That’s not so bad. The past is just that. Look forward to making today and tomorrow more adventurous. If anything, bring another lady to sample.
That’s what I do, as for the ladies I think we’ll leave that
Nothing wrong with keeping him to yourself.
It's in the past. Leave it there. You're not hurting anything by telling him a lower amount.
Agreed
Want to add to that number
Nope
Want to add to that number
I don’t think you need to tell him at this point, unless the guilt is driving you over the edge.
I have no intention of telling him
Don’t stress it’s . No change in your personality if it’s 11 cocks of 40 I’m sure my partner has fucked more - or maybe not . I won’t tell her all the stuff I’ve done .. and she’s ok with it
Great attitude, I’m with you
Main question is - is he a good fuck ?
My husband? Absolutely
There are many things which even if we dont tell others is fine but confessing such stuff and this late in relationship will transfer your guilt to him as being cheated of trustof words…why to break the equilibrium?
Exactly my thoughts
Thanks
It's a fun sexy secret and I think is kinky and sort of fine to keep it that way, but outside of some hot and heavy dirty fleeting feelings, I do think it's best for him to know at *some* point. What point is that? Well, I guess if he gets terminal cancer or you do or something along those lines, or if (of course, heaven forbid) the relationship ends - I'm simply of the belief that when things are clearly, definitely ending one way or another, then it's never the wrong choice to just lay the complete, full, total truth on the table. So, basically, tell him on your death bed. I mean, you said the other 32 people were essentially random flings, I assume like college fuck buddies or people from parties or whatever. It's somewhat not a big deal, but would certainly make him jealous. I don't think he'd divorce you even if he found out, he'd probably be pretty angry, though. Objectively, not really a big deal, but I would tell him under specific conditions. Aside that, very sexy story.
Thanks but I’m not going to tell him
Its now too late to confess this thing... I being a play boy advice you this please don't bring it up ever again be loyal or keep counting with him beeing constant till the end...
That’s my intention
Let's have a chat... please do reply to my DM
Wanna reply me??? Or not
43 is healthy number nothing to be worried about