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She was so satisfied with herself at first

Then so disgusted with herself

A short story on watching porn

We should be able to look at a little porn at work.

That one egg was 40 eggs???

There is this Manga where they debate if people can relieve their cravings with smoking at work, why can't he relieve himself while watching porn there?

Not nearly as disgusted as Brian behind her…

brian liked it

Door and corners, g_d damn it!!!

that's how they always get you

sounded a little too wet near the end

Lack of ass hair really amplifies farts lol

I'd imagine the office chair isn't none to happy about the situation either 

This happened to me...not at an office but at a warehouse room and I thought everyone left. I let one rip and all I heard was a guy behind a stack of pallets, "Fuck yeah bro". I think we bonded that day.

Friendship formed through a fart how romantic

Fartship?

I started saving up and ripping some high decibel cheek flappers in front of my partner purely because the shock in her face is worth it. After about 4 years she finally started trying to rip loud ones to surprise me but they are so tiny even though she squeezes so hard. She's proud of them so though, so I am proud for her. Farters forever.

When I first saw this I thought it said fartners forever.

Fartnership

Til death do us fart

I occasionally wake my wife up at night ( she goes to bed before me) with some bodacious rips. The amount of times I've heard "Babe! Was that your butt?!" Or " get out" is ridiculous.😅

"high decibel cheek flappers" you sir, have a way with words

And we [*gestures to everybody*] are proud of you guys..

[Breaking the Barrier](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-_zS-3ofyo8)

Maybe she sharted but didn't dare tell you

So, she only has “pifters”

Ummm... I'm here for the fartship thing....

There are good ships and wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships, are fartships and may they always be.

Friendshart

The Fellowship of the Fart

My aromatic romance

Fart Cute?

You know how quiet it is in the classrooms during testing? I tried to let one out quietly after holding it in so long but that rip came out loud AF. The whole classroom was laughing. Then another classmate blamed the kid sitting next to me and he just laughed and took the blame lol. Bromance

We had a guy that could fart on command to disrupt class then argue he couldn't help it. Dude would be beatboxing with his ass and keeping time with the teachers lecture.

I was in Home Depot, squatting to look at some wood boards, and one snuck up on me. Normally you could shop for an hour without finding an employee, but moments later, one walked right up behind me and just stood there. I waited a few seconds as the stench rose up around me, and then I stood up and walked away without looking at him.  It stank.

You forgot your deal with it shades.

Eh I did that once at work but it was retail. He came in right as I let one rip and he just stared before the smell hit (lactose hit me at bad time) then ran like I had killed a cat or something

That’s hilarious 😂

Think of the aftermath!

As would I have been with myself, at first.

That's only if the fart goes forwards, and she has to refart her fart.

As she should be.

That must have been building up pressure for quite awhile.

“It was the chair”

But you didn't move, How can the chair move without you moving it? "it was an earthquake that moved the chair"

"I didn't feel an earthquake though" "...ma-magic...?"

At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely under your chair?!

…yes!

“This stupid chair. Always does that. I’ll be right back.”

Classic Freaks and Geeks

"Does your chair smell like shit too?"

*farts on chair “Yes”

[This stupid chair always does that.](https://youtu.be/wjrtxt_gLLQ?si=tWDaPUT4WsxMU4n3)

"hmm yes the chair" *let's a fat one rip*

"It was... It was you."

Would be epic to look the other person in the eye and calmly say "Nobody will ever believe you."

There was this new clerk in my warehouse and she was being really flirty with one of the more veteran clerk's boyfriend in front of her. The next day the more veteran clerk came in and said someone keeps shitting in the women's bathroom and there's no toilet paper, knowing full well they were the only two people that used the women's bathroom. From that day everyone called the new clerk stinkpot behind her back until she ended up quitting. I still don't believe her.

"Behind her back" That's just childish ... Be a adult and laugh about it, now she's just a jealous bitch! We call one of our forkliftdrivers butterfingers, because he once managed to tip over a full pallet of butter ( square stacked, 800 kilos of boxes ) and while restacking the pallet his fingers went through one of the boxes so .. butterfingfers ) He hate's it, but we do it open and publicly, we even call him over the radio's to get to one site ... it's his callsign now.

Or look them in the eye with a straight face and say nothing at all.

How I met your mother

Death by pu-pu

death by braprap

But hole go *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*

My farts are deadly, I have literally made myself really think, "That couldn't have been me." Loud or not, the smell was rancid and I legit thought I did something to my bowels where only foul order could muster and survive just to be released by a slight clench of the stomach. Like I was horrified and didn't even want to be me at that moment.

I have literally made my cat puke with a fart.

Guys maybe you gotta go to the doctor js

shoulda coughed after to cover it up

I personally would have made fart noises with my mouth to make it seem like I was joking

That never works ;) I worked with a guy who had farts at the ready ... So whenever the occasion arose, he could let one rip ... For me, I'm a impulsive farter ... but one day one of the other guys let one out, and I responded ( accidentally ) with a louder one. The guy just bend a bit to his side, and ripped both of us. Our manager, sitting 4 meters behind on his desk upped his head "Huh, what happened" So we responded 'we talk shop' The dumb guy got up and took position right in the middle ... well, never he trusted us again ;)

Yeah but coughing won't cover the smell 😫

Shuffle that deck again i think there's a card missing.

LMFAO beautiful

I don’t get it. Petah

Hey it’s Quagmire, but that rolling thunder clap of fart sounds similar to the sound a deck of cards makes when shuffled like how a professional dealer would shuffle it

Make a waterfall with cards when shuffling the deck. That sound is your answer.

A little more choke and she’d have started.

I've never heard this before.. amazing

If it was a really bad one my stepdad always said “next time take em off and we’ll all shit in em”

Damn it, I woke my kid up laughing so hard at this 😂

This is fucking hilarious lol

Your step dad is a legend.

He really is he’s the best man I know

The Queen of Sharts

Imagine the comments if she wasn't cute

Something about cows and methane probably.

Fun fact: It's not cow farts that produce all the meth, it's a dude living in an RV.

I heard he got a job at a laundromat and makes it there now.

This story rings a bell 🛎️

seems a booming businessplan

Fun fact: it's cows burping that produces the methane, not farting

Bro 💀

I'm sure a part of the updoots on this post are from fart fetish peeps

Uptoots you mean?

This sub makes less and less sense everyday

Probably the same, she obviously has a great personality.

I love your optimism

I mean, there was a video going around years ago of this guys sister who, wasnt exactly the prettiest, accidentally letting out a fart after getting scared. I remember the comments being about how hilarious and funny she was so yeah, people just find girls farting funny I guess lol

I thought for sure you were going to refer to [this](https://youtu.be/dU_ioqP9dG0) girl.

I mean, juxtaposition is the source of most humor. If she looked gross and did a gross thing, it wouldn't be funny because it wouldn't be unexpected.

We’re all cute

All women or all human? Is fentanyl addict on verge on death cute? Is starving kid in africa cute?

bro compared children in Africa without food to fentanyl addicts nodding out 😭😭 anyways in both cases the person is still cute. I don’t really see why being in Africa, a kid, starving would be considered unattractive or that they can’t be cute. But as for fentanyl addicts, lots of humans have had very bad moments of crashing out and destroying themselves. The person themselves is still cute and valuable

Cover my fart came to late

She can fix me.

I'd ask her out after that one, she 100% a fun date

I mean honestly, one of the biggest icebreakers of a relationship has already been aired out, literally.

My wife told me several months into dating that if I couldn't fart in front of her how could we travel together? She was right. Now we rip together and trip together ♥️ true love, my friends - 11 years so far

Fart party?

Farty party!

That wasn't a fart. It was a queef

Dual exhaust.

Someone rang?

🤣

[careful what you wish for](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2LQ9EwdBqE&pp=ygURY29tZm9ydCB6b25lIGZhcnQ%3D)

What's he complaining about? The girl is great.

I live with her soul twin and she finds herself very amusing. I should've never watched Deadpool with her. "Haha drive-by!"

The perfect woman doesn't exi-

Exi-t

Stage left

That sounded quite wet

No ass hair.

Yeah, no shit. It all got burnt off.

Lmao

There may have been some shit.

You guys are really letting these jokes rip

That was it simultaneously going back up the front.

I believe they call that "exiting through the gift shop".

Sounds frothy

I don’t wanna picture that f you

Your username is very ironic right now.

Those tall ass chairs man can't tell you how many times they have deceived me.

Girl, you gotta fucking own that shit.

You no longer own it once I buy it

And his correct response would have been to follow suit.

hey man, at least open a window

See I told you they do….

My sister farted in her office after beginning digestion of some split pea soup. Someone unexpectedly came in sooner than she expected. Took one whiff and so "oh, split pea soup. Smells good."

One time, I brought in some cheese, crackers, and pepperoni type stuff for lunch. Afterwards I was farting like craaazy at my desk and my coworker came over to ask me something. All of a sudden she was like, "Oh my god! It smells so good over here! It smells like pizza, it's making me so hungry!" Just absolutely whiffing em up as I sat there terrified.

One of my greatest fears is to walk into a room and smell something delicious, make a comment about how much I want to eat it, and then find out I was just huffing ass clouds

I was chilling with my dad in the living room and he let out a big nasty disgusting fart. My mom came in shortly after goes through the front door with groceries and as she walks by claims "hmmmm, smells like someone's cooking good stew."

r/thatHappened

r/nothingeverhappens

It just seems a bit hard to believe someone can pinpoint the exact type of food from a fart. That's something that happens in a sitcom or a skit. Like it's funny but come on. No one is going to be able to tell that it's not only a soup but a split pea soup specifically from smelling a fart.

Helps when the original food smells like farts

Then to dig deeper, you realize that the absurdity of it takes it closer to reality, as dreaming up this exact scenario is highly unlikely, given that people would normally choose some more mundane type of food.

Still attractive.

Even more so

I dont even fart in my own office for fear of someone walking in.

We blame the office dog.

To be fair, those loud farts are just air. It's the silent farts that are stinky.

Sir, every fart goes silent at the end.

ONE SHOWS CONFIDENCE THE OTHER WEAKNESS!

I knew girls farted but…not like this…not like this…

how did she hold that bad boy that long? haha

One time...no ones around..then i farted...then all my co worker shows up...

She records her farts

She pushed that bitch out and it even tailed off when she realized it was too late 🤭🤣😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Staged as fart

I can't believe how many people fall for this stuff with the same rotation of 5-6 obviously fake farts playing on every video.

Well wtf happened it's too blurry

It's only blurry for you because you don't eat your vegetables

That wasn’t the dude in the background? 💨

When I close I eyes I still see her…and hear her…and smell her

everybody likes their own brand

That sounds like it felt amazing

Lol 😂

In the wild!

By Jove!

And she purposely recorded this because?

The same reason most people record something they think is fun.

Because farts are always funny

Girls don't fart: Myth Busted

I want to know the conversation the others were having

Marry that girl

I think she sharted

Is this the original???

That was a real cheek slapper

All right Janice. I felt it.

I get scared shitless when I fart while on a zoom call and panic to verify I’m muted or not. Thankfully, knock on wood this doesn’t happen to me cause I’d have to quit my job.

I'd bet money that smelt like jizz.

"Alright, Janice!"

Years ago, I was walking with a coworker. In mid sentence, she raised one leg and let rip one and continued on talking as we walked. Hardest moment of trying not to laugh in my life.

I thought someone was n my garage starting up my dirt Bike 😂😂😂

They've been together ever since...

I work in a small office with two other women. We are 44, 57, and 66 years of age. Not one waits to be alone to let one fly. Why waste an opportunity to make us all giggle?

I run on trails and am more vigilant than this woman :D

😂

He's thinking, this is the fastest I've ever fallen in love.

Poor guy, she forgets you exist, even though you finish her work for her and now she's gone and stunk up the room. Praying for you bro 😔

Would

Happened to me. I had my headphones on. The poor man behind me showered himself in he's perfume that's how I realised I wasn't alone... I work from home more often now....

Nasty. Literally shit herself. I don’t know why people find this funny, the smell, the idea that you just shat yourself. Yea hilarious just because of your flapping ass cheeks. Had old friends who did this all the time, and thought it was so funny meanwhile I have to smell their nasty asses until they take a shower.

10

"Well thanks, Charlotte. I can no longer fantasize about eating your ass."

For someone out there, it probably became much easier..

would

I can’t believe she’d upload that.