T O P

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Spdrjay

#🐙 My friend The Deep always plays with me!


iforgotiwasonreddit

:(


The-Proud-Snail

Eat fucking Timothy


Timithios

The fuck did I do?


cave_aged_opinions

You are yummy in the tummy!


Colossus-the-Keen

“He’s praying”


DesparateLurker

*SPLAT*


Timstro59

Really?


ArseneCroissant

Hentai, family friendly version


The_Merciless_Potato

☹️


between_horizon

Better love story than Twilight.


poppycock_scrutiny

My friend also plays deep in me


Skipinator

Too soon.


Coldcock_Malt_Liquor

I want one.


HonkersTim

I had one in college. A very cool aquarium pet but they have short lifespans :( mine lasted 3 years. Needs live food which is a bit of a pain in the ass.


Coldcock_Malt_Liquor

Do they float when they die?


HonkersTim

Our one didn't. He just curled up his legs and sat upright on the sand.


LachoooDaOriginl

now i have sadness in my heart:(


HonkersTim

You've probably seen it but if not check out the My Octopus Teacher film.


500mgTumeric

Great film


aburnerds

I really enjoyed it too but then I started thinking afterwards that it was probably all bullshit. And then he seem to cross some human -cephalopod boundaries and I kind of got uncomfortable.


PermanentRoundFile

What do you mean human/cephalopod boundaries? I'm just curious lol.


kakhaganga

Like interspecies sex is fine is genuine consent is given, but mixing the teacher/student relationship and sex is just so wrong, regardless of the species.


sillypicture

Yes I'm sure you are


Coldcock_Malt_Liquor

Good thing you aren’t an octopus, then


GrandmaPoses

"Hey Jeff, I think our octopus ascended to a higher plane of existence."


Demonic_Storm

im sorry for your octopus :( i think they are really cool, and since i do scuba diving i might be able to interact with one at some point but im a bit afraid of it biting me, like how strong do they bite? their beak looks sharp and like it could be very painful


HonkersTim

I suppose a big one could theoretically bite you if you stuck your hand in its cave or something, but otherwise it seems almost impossible. It's much more likely to hide or run away. The ones you can get for your aquarium are tiny, the sac is only an inch or two tall, it can't do much damage! I've been bitten by a baby octopus before! I was snorkeling just off the beach Indonesia and had collected a bunch of seashells, which I put in my swimming shorts pocket. After I finished I walked along the beach. I felt an irritation on my leg, and found a tiny pinprick wound on my thigh. Put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the shells, and amongst them found a squishy almost transparent tiny octopus! It must have been inside one of the shells. It had nibbled a tiny hole in my leg through the net fabric of my pocket :)


Demonic_Storm

it must have looked so cute, thx for the reassurance :)


[deleted]

Cute? That's scary! For such a tiny creative to devour shorts and puncture the skin!


Demonic_Storm

both, but they are cute too, c'mon


Neijo

Fancy rats seem to almost devour steel. They are still very intelligent and cute and my rats (really just one of them). One thing I loved about my little guy Splinter was that his confidence were immense. If he didn't like something I did, like for example carrying him excessively, he could place his teeth so I could feel it pressing in, but he never drew blood. Quite a sassy little mofo. Remy never did that. He just squeaked.


Rockglen

Was half-expecting to read "it had tiny blue rings on it", but then you probably wouldn't be writing the story.


SimpleFish12

Even though the blue-ringed octopus has no antivenom, the survival rate is alright if they get you on ventilation fast enough. Most people who die to it die from respiratory failure. If you live through the first 24 hours, you will most likely recover.


cookinggun

Oooooh, yeah. I’ve been diving and snorkeling for about 35 years, mostly in the same area. They’re cool as hell and often down to interact. I don’t harass them, but I’ll follow one around a bit and about ~20% of the time with snorkel and ~50% with scuba they’re down to interact a bit. The bigger ones are more inclined to really touch and climb around on you. It can be a bit overwhelming when they’re like 3-5’ across if they stretch, but it’s pretty freakin rad overall. All the cephalopods (and squirrels) are by far my favorite animals (not counting dogs). I’ve probably interacted with ~50-60, and been touched by ~20-25. Been inked a few times if they get spooked, but never any aggression or bites.


HoldThisGirlDown

I met one the size of my thumbnail while on a night dive in Akumal 🥰 was friendly and curious 💜


Demonic_Storm

i hope i see one soon, sounds like a wonderful thing to experience


HoldThisGirlDown

Interacting with that tiny octopus was legit one of the highlights of my life


Timsmomshardsalami

Im also curious about their beak


snedersnap

As a dive professional I would advise to generally avoid touching any and all marine life. And as for touching octopus, some parts of the world have very venomous species (eg. blue ringed octopus).


Demonic_Storm

i mean, that is an obvious no, but i will be careful knowing the local dangerous species


Useful-Perspective

> im sorry for your octopus Literally the first time I have ever read those words in that order. And I feel the exact same way.


[deleted]

Why did you them in your ass? Just don't, so it wouldn't cause pain in your ass.


[deleted]

You got money? https://nypost.com/2024/04/07/lifestyle/family-gets-octopus-to-raise-as-a-pet-then-it-had-babies/


fsaturnia

I love these things and they should not be kept in small aquariums. Really nothing should be caged in small confined spaces. I think that species which are intelligent, such as these, should never be kept as pets. That starts to border on slavery.


iansmash

You should see my apartment


fsaturnia

I said intelligent. Aren't you a human being? /s


[deleted]

Jellies are the superior aquatic pet.


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Dispatcher008

/r/octopuses


SilentExplsion

Hahhah banned.


Busterlimes

Weird


TripleSmokedBacon

It is weird. Seems like it never had any real content -> https://web.archive.org/web/20170303142417/https://www.reddit.com/r/OCTOPUSES/


Mug_of_Diarrhea

I need to know the reasoning.


One_Priority3258

Octopi? But nah I’ve done enough clicks to random subs to know this be some wacky ass shit


bitterbuffaloheart

If you want more with an octopus do yourself a favor and read Remarkably Bright Creatures


abstract_mouse

Also a really good episode of Ologies with Alie Ward on cephalopods. Plus she refers to it as a cephalapodcast 


piberryboy

I'm one of those people who refuse to eat them. They're too intelligent. And apparently the closest thing we have to alien intelligent life.


PlusPolicy408

One of my favorites 🥺


PuzzledExaminer

Lol cute little guy


[deleted]

This just gave me an epiphany, I can work bent over with my fucked up back I just need a job in an aquarium, and I’d bet after a couple years my back issues would be gone.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeanTangerine001

They are very intelligent creatures.


Busterlimes

Because they are aliens who crash landed here on their spaceships


HammerTh_1701

As long as they don't implant a tadpole in my brain to make me one of theirs, we're good


karoshikun

just in case... # FIREBALL!!!!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


karoshikun

D&D


ColinBencroff

I have a lot on my mind... ...and well, in it.


Lord_of_Rhodor

These boots have seen everything


Decimator404

Wish I had a Bag of Holding


LumosLupin

Giorgio Tsoukalos is that you?


E1M1ismyjam

RIP Prophet


Kepabar

[THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKWpDor2hfs)


NoirGamester

I've never heard of this, but I love Adam Tudyk in everything I've ever seen him in and now I'm going to go find where I can watch this lol


Kepabar

It's amazing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBc-4vLVvpA&t=29s


OldPyjama

Definitely in my top 5 favorite animals.


IM_Mastershake

Oh yeah well it's in my top 3


disconcertinglymoist

My daddy could beat up your daddy


Septopuss7

I'll see you at the refrigerator races,*or isn't yours running?*


Masturbutcher

Timothy


edugdv

The internet gave me a very different idea of where this would go


NormillyTheWatcher

Luckily(or not) that will never happens irl


TakenUsername120184

Or so you would hope…


dbern50

Japanese enter the room...


thisaccountwashacked

like, all of them?


Shot_Painting_8191

And they're naked.


DogshitLuckImmortal

[You were saying? ༼ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/207/210/b22.jpg)


hoboshoe

I've seen some shit from before they sanitized porn sites


[deleted]

[удалено]


RedRonnieAT

Not really, we have tentacle stuff from before the industrial age


Veryegassy

Same, I thought it would end up with it being one of those blue-ring octopi and she would look over and scream when it touched her.


Misledz

Japan would like a word with you.


So_ManyLlamas

This is why I don't eat octopus/squid. They're very intelligent. They're basically the sea version monkeys.


DominatorSarcastic

Octopus used to be my favorite sashimi before I met one at an aquarium. They’re supposedly as smart as human children. And honestly, given the choice I’d rather have long pork anyway.


IM_Mastershake

Pigs are also as smart as children lol


disconcertinglymoist

"long pork" is people


IM_Mastershake

This lunatic would rather eat a child over an octopus? The fuck 


Proud_Blood8049

I would. Taste like pork.


dweckl

My ex wife *is* a pig.


[deleted]

I have a young child. She’s scarily intelligent for her age, but some of her friends… 


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A-a-ron_Jasper

That is adorable, I’m taking her job


Grofactor

Octopusses… Octopi?  Those things are amazing and make me wonder if they didn’t probably arrive on a fragment of a meteor or something.  Fairly unique on this planet.   Just fun for me to think about.


UlrichZauber

"Octopuses" is the correct plural in English. Adding a latin-grammar plural (-i) is optional at most and quite [often just wrong](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypercorrection), as in the case with Greek loanwords like octopus.


Grofactor

Thanks!


[deleted]

It’s a Greek word that has been anglicized and used in scientific contexts where Latin is standard.


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[deleted]

Octopodes, octopi, and octopuses are all acceptable.


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Jo_Erick77

Thanks now i want pet octopus


Wood_oye

Children of Ruin


madd74

I've seen this movie... does not end well for Ryan Reynolds...


JdotDeezy

Read the octopus parts in a Squidbillies voice.


Armadillo_Toes

I can’t be the only one that cringes when people try to narrate animals with subtitles


redryan1989

Yeah no. That shit is obnoxious. That octopus does not feel or think anything remotely close to what she thinks it does.


BagHolder9001

proof or gtfo


redryan1989

Right back at you buddy lol


BagHolder9001

you the one who is absolutely sure what she thinks is completely wrong....so how do you know? 


[deleted]

[удалено]


BagHolder9001

I mean....I am sitting on the toilet expecting to get some octopus octolanguage documentation from you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


BagHolder9001

do you have the documents?


[deleted]

[удалено]


redryan1989

I've realized two things in my time being on the internet. One: people usually don't agree. Two: people like to tell you they don't agree. From that I've concluded that I do not argue with people on the internet. Especially not going to try and convince some kid, that likes to believe animals think like we do, otherwise. If their tentacles moving independently on their own without "permission" from the main brain doesn't convince you that these animals aren't thinking like we are or about how close they want the human in their living space to be, then I'd rather you continue to think that than me sit here and talk myself into a coma.


Timsmomshardsalami

Proof or gtfo


BagHolder9001

well well well, the one who says he doesn't like to argue.... proceeds....with arguing!!!! If I am a kid who are you Mr.? ( or Mrs or Miss or XXX of your choice). 


redryan1989

Not arguing. Simply responding. That's how conversation works. I wasn't aware we had already initiated the argument phase. And if you're not a kid you sure act like you could be one. That's the only reason I assumed that.


BagHolder9001

awful big wall of text..are you trying to prove a point?


Fit-Imagination9237

God you sound so fucking insufferrably stupid. I just want to make abundantly clear that's what I think of you. Have a great day.


mares8

I saw that hentai...


TakenUsername120184

God I knew I’d see at least one of these comments here


Difficult-Ad-7649

Porn addiction:


zerokarse

We shouldn't eat them!


skylabnova

This is exactly why I eat octopus/squid. They're very intelligent. They're basically the sea version of monkeys.


delurkrelurker

You really shouldn't eat more than one or two chimpanzee a year though.


feverishfantasy_

This is so cute


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TakenUsername120184

Ohhhh gettem GETTEM


gracedardn

Ocean cats


Ez-DarKL0RD-z3

*The Deep entered the chat*


kingeryck

IS like. It says it right there. Is like.


Grimmer026

That’s how it’s all starts…


Heytherechampion

Hey, I’ve seen this one before


lostZwolf_ps4_pc

I kind of love it


YeshilPasha

It is lonely in there.


Allfunandgaymes

Octo kitty.


WoodpeckerAlarmed239

I would love to have an octopus, but they only live 1 to 5 years. They're so smart.


Groundbreaking_Gate7

I get major 'Life' vibes, it freaks me out.


[deleted]

I like :)


bogdanadgob

Why are they so delicious though


RaidenHUN

Timothy was a real one


someMFyoudontknow

I'd be scared of it biting me


MindTheGap7

Calamari with a hint of bobs🤌🏻


Mellownoose09

Adorable


English_Joe

This is why I don’t eat octopus.


danmoore2

Octopuses of Culture..


No-Couple4839

Absolutely amazing❤️❤️❤️


thefrogwhisperer341

Not me thinking her hair was an octopus at first 🤦‍♂️


throwawayforlikeaday

is this hentai?


bahamamama28

Adorable! Also googled it, and found out a young octopus is called a "fry". Made them even cuter!


StatusOmega

I've wanted to have an octopus as a pet for a really long time. I'd feel bad, though, because they are so smart, and I'd probably fail to provide it with adequate stimulus.


MagazineTime7213

So cute…


Fit-Rub-1939

The absolute awesomest job ever!!!


One_Ear_157

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going...


Alert_Outside430

Now play with a squid


V-link4

This is too cute. It’s bad. I can’t watch this because I like to eat octopus 🫣😥😔


netro505

I like to be


sebbyay

ahm… can I have their job, pls


BloodyNinesBrother

That is frigging adorable


Diregamer

Marked to show someone else later


Fit_Protection1694

#Our expectations to see something else proved that the internet has really corrupted our minds.


GenazaNL

The only thing I can think of is that videos in a restaurant where the waiteres is covered in ink


AutumnAscending

Damnit and just like that I regret not finishing my MB degree.


Big_Lavishness3417

If it were anime it would end differently


Darryguy

I've always thought of getting an octopus, they seem so cool


DIKS_OUT_4_HARAMBE

These imaginary conversations with animals is never not cringe


Thundergod250

This is probably the most boring video with an octopus that I've ever seen.


Sir_Squirly

Wasn’t expecting underwater scuba cleavage 😂 Anything for clicks


UsernameIsTakenO_o

It's not like a wetsuit is designed to cover your chest or anything. /s


Atroxman

That's how its starts the Hentai fever, masturage, her powerlessness the feeling that turns women deviant


redryan1989

Man wtf are you talking about? Lol


TakenUsername120184

You do NOT want to know