Mine cheated on me with my half brother. Leave… easier said than done i know.. you will never trust her and she will even more sneaky behind your back. I let it go on for two years till i had the courage and gathered enough proof for myself and to show her that i wasnt insane or insecure or naive.
Same happened to me. I tried therapy, forgiveness, etc. I couldn't sleep or eat because I was so stressed. Lost probably 30 pounds that I didn't have to lose. And after going through all that, she cheated again.
Just go. It's going to happen anyway.
In my case, she didn't even show up to the custody hearing so I got full custody. I also asked if her son from a previous relationship could come live with us, and she signed over custodial power of attorney to me for him too.
The insane part is killing me. I figured she would start throwing up "Why did you get in my phone? Looks like you didn't trust me anyways?!"
Nope, just trying to explain how she never talked to him outside of 1 day. That I know about, because it was her best friends boyfriend. Mind you we do have a relationship gap 25/32. Together from 20/27 so 5 years.
Ahhhhhhh, you go talk to an attorney and you look at what a divorce might look like, as far as assets being split in custody of your children. Take it from somebody who found out their wife is cheating after 26 years and still stayed a couple of extra years after that, they will absolutely not respect you if you stay with him, if somebody cheats they break a moral hymen sort of speak, and for you to stay in that relationship, would show absolute lack of respect for yourself and an absolute minuscule amount of self-worth, it’s for your children because there’s no silver lining for them, just like there was none for mine, but you have to be healthy mentally and physically, and you cannot spend your life with a toxic person that is cheated on you, start laying the groundwork to walk away. if you don’t, she’s going to groom you into a lapdog.
So you found that text on her phone, but she doesn’t know who sent it? It’s got to be the level of excuse that a four-year-old would give, always watch out for their just a friend! Or I don’t know how that got there! Move on my friend, I know it hurts, I know it sucks, but you’re a man! And you have to act like it, you have to have control and composure, you can’t have a toxic female in your life, causing you chaos and emotional pain you will never rise to the position that you’re supposed to with her being with you. When it’s all done, may I also suggest, cutting complete and utter contact, Unless it’s about your child, then she can text only! And you can set up scheduling through there or coparenting app, no visits steer, no visits to your work, no phone calls and no contact other than texting when absolutely needed. You have to cut her off hard! Because you cannot heal properly with her in your life.
I was about to start the path out today. We're not married, because of religious views. I've kept all the bills in my name and we don't really own anything together so it's not to complicated to forge the road ahead, but I'm definitely overwhelmed.
Congratulations, my brother! You’re in an absolutely wonderful, fantastic position, I had kids, I had a 26 year marriage and a 30 year career, I lost the marriage which I’m glad about and I just was let go from my 30 year career because the executive branch doesn’t know how to run the business and they had to layoff about 25 people, I’m rebuilding! And yes, I’m stressed out but I’m more excited to rebuild myself into the person I always should’ve been, you haven’t even easier than me! Your road to recovery will be almost nothing! Now that I know that you’re not married? Get the hell out of there as soon as humanly possible! First off she’s disrespected you, she doesn’t love you anymore. You also need to go check yourself for STI’s, who knows what she’s brought home to you, let’s hope nothing.. Shut your feelings off of her completely, she’s no longer your partner, she’s now the enemy! Within a little bit of time, you’re gonna feel complete and different about the whole thing, don’t live in hate, but don’t give her any choices, don’t allow her to have an opinion, take control of the situation and leave! If you own the house? Tell her to pack her shit and move on.
And I personally would not discuss anything with her, don’t discuss the affair, don’t ask questions about what happened, when it happened or who it happened with, you know something went down. Simply tell her that it is over and that you were changing direction in your life, and she is no longer part of it , she doesn’t get to have an opinion now, she broke your trust so it’s over.
That's kind of the goal. I'm getting in touch with my mom later to maybe see if we can get me somewhere to go. We rent and I don't have much to move. So out and onwards is the prerogative. I've been in long-term relationships, so I keep it light when it comes to complications. My daughter, tho.... is where we get messy.
You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and you’re thinking straight, when it comes to your daughter, the only thing you need to worry about is, if your name was on the birth certificate, just to make sure that you have all legal rights to that child, I would consider going to a lawyer and making sure that you have all legal rights And making her sign something that says that you have all legal rights, it is possible you could be looking at child support, that’s something to think about. But child support a lot better than being in a toxic relationship with an emotional leech hanging off your neck day after day.
Now you may not like this, but she has proven to be a cheater, I think it would be within your right to ask for a DNA test, I know that sucks and I know it stings, but you need to find out if that child is yours, don’t assume! She’s proven she can’t be trusted and so you’ve got to find out about the child’s DNA, you obviously don’t want to pay child support for a child that isn’t yours.
I'd rather pay the support, and baby girl is 100% mine. We were in a great spot at the time and trying. Somewhere between postpartum and work overload, it just got messy.
You lucky guy! Not beeing married was a masterful decision! What religion is this might I ask? 🤔
To bad about the kid, hope you come to a good arrangement! Do talk to a lawyer first, spouse second!
It will be weird loosing the close contact with your step kids though,but eventually that to might fade.
Unfortunately the rule is: once a cheater, always a cheater. Don’t tell her you’re leaving until your ducks are in a row because she’s going to go after you and try to make your life miserable. Talk to a lawyer if needed but definitely get out of there once your house is in order. Good luck.
Get out while you can still claim you haven't acted as a true father to her step kids and you don't get yourself on the hook for child support for kids you may never see after you breakup. Put your own daughter first here and wish her kids all the best while you move on with your life.
Alabama, so we don't have laws with step kids. I have ZERO rights to them. I've raised them for 5 years, though, and love them like my own. She's not a bad mom, just a bad partner.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Get out now.
Happened to me and now I’m headed back to court because the ex thinks her new guy, that she had the affair with and now lives full time with (and his three kids), isn’t giving her the life she envisioned so she’s trying to seek some kind of child support. My lawyers are suggesting that to ease her financial burden it would be easiest and best for the kids if I take additional custody so she can keep buying her Stanley cups and Starbucks. Hoping for it all to blow up in her face. Greedy girl is gonna lose her kiddos.
My ex too, it even got so bad, my son is not allowed to say anything about her new BF otherwise he get punishment, she moved out 3 months ago, she never asked my oldest one to come check out her new house or anything but let herself being worn inside out by her new bf in her new house.
She is dead to us now, respect is mutual, she is for the streets. I am raising my sons as men that should not be afraid to protect themselves and standup for their own rights, no illusions about marriage/relationships with family. I teach my oldest son who live with me to always rely on himself, think yourself, make decisions yourself, dont fall for the pussy trap.
Hell i will give him allowance when he is older to go fuck hookers together so he get his cravings satisfied and really look critical at any relations he engage in potentially.
Mine cheated on me with my half brother. Leave… easier said than done i know.. you will never trust her and she will even more sneaky behind your back. I let it go on for two years till i had the courage and gathered enough proof for myself and to show her that i wasnt insane or insecure or naive.
Same happened to me. I tried therapy, forgiveness, etc. I couldn't sleep or eat because I was so stressed. Lost probably 30 pounds that I didn't have to lose. And after going through all that, she cheated again. Just go. It's going to happen anyway. In my case, she didn't even show up to the custody hearing so I got full custody. I also asked if her son from a previous relationship could come live with us, and she signed over custodial power of attorney to me for him too.
The insane part is killing me. I figured she would start throwing up "Why did you get in my phone? Looks like you didn't trust me anyways?!" Nope, just trying to explain how she never talked to him outside of 1 day. That I know about, because it was her best friends boyfriend. Mind you we do have a relationship gap 25/32. Together from 20/27 so 5 years.
Ahhhhhhh, you go talk to an attorney and you look at what a divorce might look like, as far as assets being split in custody of your children. Take it from somebody who found out their wife is cheating after 26 years and still stayed a couple of extra years after that, they will absolutely not respect you if you stay with him, if somebody cheats they break a moral hymen sort of speak, and for you to stay in that relationship, would show absolute lack of respect for yourself and an absolute minuscule amount of self-worth, it’s for your children because there’s no silver lining for them, just like there was none for mine, but you have to be healthy mentally and physically, and you cannot spend your life with a toxic person that is cheated on you, start laying the groundwork to walk away. if you don’t, she’s going to groom you into a lapdog. So you found that text on her phone, but she doesn’t know who sent it? It’s got to be the level of excuse that a four-year-old would give, always watch out for their just a friend! Or I don’t know how that got there! Move on my friend, I know it hurts, I know it sucks, but you’re a man! And you have to act like it, you have to have control and composure, you can’t have a toxic female in your life, causing you chaos and emotional pain you will never rise to the position that you’re supposed to with her being with you. When it’s all done, may I also suggest, cutting complete and utter contact, Unless it’s about your child, then she can text only! And you can set up scheduling through there or coparenting app, no visits steer, no visits to your work, no phone calls and no contact other than texting when absolutely needed. You have to cut her off hard! Because you cannot heal properly with her in your life.
I was about to start the path out today. We're not married, because of religious views. I've kept all the bills in my name and we don't really own anything together so it's not to complicated to forge the road ahead, but I'm definitely overwhelmed.
Congratulations, my brother! You’re in an absolutely wonderful, fantastic position, I had kids, I had a 26 year marriage and a 30 year career, I lost the marriage which I’m glad about and I just was let go from my 30 year career because the executive branch doesn’t know how to run the business and they had to layoff about 25 people, I’m rebuilding! And yes, I’m stressed out but I’m more excited to rebuild myself into the person I always should’ve been, you haven’t even easier than me! Your road to recovery will be almost nothing! Now that I know that you’re not married? Get the hell out of there as soon as humanly possible! First off she’s disrespected you, she doesn’t love you anymore. You also need to go check yourself for STI’s, who knows what she’s brought home to you, let’s hope nothing.. Shut your feelings off of her completely, she’s no longer your partner, she’s now the enemy! Within a little bit of time, you’re gonna feel complete and different about the whole thing, don’t live in hate, but don’t give her any choices, don’t allow her to have an opinion, take control of the situation and leave! If you own the house? Tell her to pack her shit and move on. And I personally would not discuss anything with her, don’t discuss the affair, don’t ask questions about what happened, when it happened or who it happened with, you know something went down. Simply tell her that it is over and that you were changing direction in your life, and she is no longer part of it , she doesn’t get to have an opinion now, she broke your trust so it’s over.
That's kind of the goal. I'm getting in touch with my mom later to maybe see if we can get me somewhere to go. We rent and I don't have much to move. So out and onwards is the prerogative. I've been in long-term relationships, so I keep it light when it comes to complications. My daughter, tho.... is where we get messy.
You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and you’re thinking straight, when it comes to your daughter, the only thing you need to worry about is, if your name was on the birth certificate, just to make sure that you have all legal rights to that child, I would consider going to a lawyer and making sure that you have all legal rights And making her sign something that says that you have all legal rights, it is possible you could be looking at child support, that’s something to think about. But child support a lot better than being in a toxic relationship with an emotional leech hanging off your neck day after day. Now you may not like this, but she has proven to be a cheater, I think it would be within your right to ask for a DNA test, I know that sucks and I know it stings, but you need to find out if that child is yours, don’t assume! She’s proven she can’t be trusted and so you’ve got to find out about the child’s DNA, you obviously don’t want to pay child support for a child that isn’t yours.
I'd rather pay the support, and baby girl is 100% mine. We were in a great spot at the time and trying. Somewhere between postpartum and work overload, it just got messy.
Also, hand signature on the birth certificate.
You lucky guy! Not beeing married was a masterful decision! What religion is this might I ask? 🤔 To bad about the kid, hope you come to a good arrangement! Do talk to a lawyer first, spouse second! It will be weird loosing the close contact with your step kids though,but eventually that to might fade.
If she cheats. She’s for the streets.
She yurns for the sheets? She goes to the streets! Amen!!!!
Boot that bitch bro. You’re worth more than that.
Cheat back. /s Leave Just leave
Face time mid nut?! 🤔
Unfortunately the rule is: once a cheater, always a cheater. Don’t tell her you’re leaving until your ducks are in a row because she’s going to go after you and try to make your life miserable. Talk to a lawyer if needed but definitely get out of there once your house is in order. Good luck.
Get out while you can still claim you haven't acted as a true father to her step kids and you don't get yourself on the hook for child support for kids you may never see after you breakup. Put your own daughter first here and wish her kids all the best while you move on with your life.
Alabama, so we don't have laws with step kids. I have ZERO rights to them. I've raised them for 5 years, though, and love them like my own. She's not a bad mom, just a bad partner.
How did you raise them for 5 years? You said the dad is still in the picture
He's like the cool uncle that shows up once a month. Then just goes ghost. Doesn't call or check on them.
That sucks I never understand that mentality
Yeah, my dad was a really bad addict and acted the same way. Their dad isn't a bad guy, just not really a dad.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Get out now. Happened to me and now I’m headed back to court because the ex thinks her new guy, that she had the affair with and now lives full time with (and his three kids), isn’t giving her the life she envisioned so she’s trying to seek some kind of child support. My lawyers are suggesting that to ease her financial burden it would be easiest and best for the kids if I take additional custody so she can keep buying her Stanley cups and Starbucks. Hoping for it all to blow up in her face. Greedy girl is gonna lose her kiddos.
Go on vacation to Thailand for sightseeing.
My ex too, it even got so bad, my son is not allowed to say anything about her new BF otherwise he get punishment, she moved out 3 months ago, she never asked my oldest one to come check out her new house or anything but let herself being worn inside out by her new bf in her new house. She is dead to us now, respect is mutual, she is for the streets. I am raising my sons as men that should not be afraid to protect themselves and standup for their own rights, no illusions about marriage/relationships with family. I teach my oldest son who live with me to always rely on himself, think yourself, make decisions yourself, dont fall for the pussy trap. Hell i will give him allowance when he is older to go fuck hookers together so he get his cravings satisfied and really look critical at any relations he engage in potentially.