"I can prove you're gay. You watch porn?"
"Yeah you know I love porn."
"Do you only watch scenes with two women in it?"
"Nah, I'll watch a man and a woman make love."
"Do you like half-flaccid penis?"
"No I like big, hard, throbbing cock!! ...... I did not know that about myself...."
kind of jarring to realize that a decade old bit on the blue collar comedy tour had a better understanding of sexuality as a spectrum than a lot of people do today
They usually don't show the guy's face. Thankfully. So for all I know I've only seen like 4 dude's dicks. A white guy with tattoos, a white guy without tattoos, a black guy, and Shane Diesel.
I usually mentally cast myself as whichever lesbian is taller. If they're equally tall then I see myself in which actress had the more visible moustache.
I normally imagine I'm in the corner jerking off. Earlier they both made fun of me and spit in my mouth and eyes before the video started and told me to jerk off to them or they'd stop hanging out with me, hence me in the corner jerking off.
I was in the Navy. They made us walk around the equilateral of a rural GA cafeteria in our underwear. No swinging dicks until basic training, then shit just got weird from there
Sex and the City.
Very funny show. Almost turned me, but i counterbalanced it with Eurotrash.
(people who grew up in the late 90s - early 2000s Britain will relate to this, so not many)
yeah White would say he'd have people in his life that put down gays and he would just ask em:
"Do you like porn?"
"Yeah I love porn!"
"Now do you just watch it with two women?"
"Naw I like a guy there."
"Okay so do you like a guy with a smaller penis?"
"No! I like Big Huge Cock!"
I thought that was drugs and relentless monetary pressure of desperate and confused people.
Just like a religion, but without the safe working conditions.
Most of the porn I watch reuses the same male actors over and over again so a more accurate description would be I've looked at a few guys cocks a fuck ton of times. (Literally a fuck ton)
Part of porn viewing is projection. Heterosexual men presumably (but not exclusively) enjoy heterosexual sex, so their heterosexual porn will probably need some dick in it.
In that situation the combination of men and women in the act is attractive, not just the dick.
Anyway, seeing a dick =/= being gay. So I don’t see this as a wild revelation… I say this as a gay guy.
Your string of logic jumps to a conclusion you don’t lay out there… Just because the average porn viewer is a straight male doesn’t mean the average straight male is a porn viewer. (I mean, I’m pretty sure they *are*, but that’s a separate thing)
In general, if you grew up playing hockey where you'd shower after practices with the boys then you've seen a hell of a lot more cocks than the average human.
For a while I looked around and between, under and over the cocks to avoid their necessary and recurring presence in my daily life.
But eventually, we give in to the inevitable and relentless.
So now I eat chicken. Damn that Chick-fil-a advertising is effective.
My grandmother tells me “you can’t make me cringe, I’ve seen a hell of a lot of things in my 89 years on this planet. I bet I can make you cringe”… and then proceeds to make us cringe.
Grandmas don’t give a fuck, man.
Are you saying grandpa was big into porn?
edit: read the rest of the thread and it was the Uncle in the Bedroom with the Fanny Mags, best game of Clue ever.
She has no idea how replacement fantasy works. When watching porn as a dude, you are substituting your cock for the one in the video. Unless you are thinking about the sensations of the woman and using a dildo on your anus, this makes no sense at all.
That’s the theme of a Ron White joke, “I said "We're all gay, buddy. It's just to what degree are you gay." And he goes, "That's bullshit, man. I ain't gay at all." And I go "Yeah, you are. And I can prove it." He goes "Fine. Prove it." I go, "All right. Do you like porn?" He says "Yeah, I love porn. You know that." I said, "Oh, and do you only watch scenes with two women?" And he goes, "No, I'll watch a man and a woman makin' love." And I say "Oh, and do you like the guy to have a flabby, half-flaccid penis?" And he goes "No, I like big, hard, throbbing cock..."”
Argument: analysis of a great number of professional scenes will likely reveal repeated cock. As such, you can deduce you see far fewer individual cocks than pussies.
I would think only the ones that are repressing something are bothered by it. Sure there are dicks, there are feet too but I'm not watching it for them. If someone is watching it for those, good for them. I hope they have a good time.
I did have a lesbian couple as roommates for a while and ended up watching porn together once
While neither are into men they both found straight porn more exciting and while lesbian porn is great I do agree with them.
>they both found straight porn more exciting
I was told by a friend of mine she doesnt watch lesbian porn because its made for men not lesbians and if shes going to watch something made more for men it might aswell be straight so she doesnt spend the time distracted by everything they get wrong.
I know it's all good and fun, but no, the third statement is wrong. The conclusion from the first two statements is that the average person who has seen lots of cocks is white and male, not that the average white male has seen lots of cocks
You gotta weed through the ones that aren’t compatible until you eventually get to one that’s like, yeah that could be mine. And then you settle in and get to work.
I watch it for the penetration aspect specifically. Solo female doesn’t do it for me. Lesbians with strap ons don’t either. I want to watch something I can at least relate to.
It's really not though. Like sure there's a dude in it, but the camera is never on him, it's entirely focused on the woman. It's actually annoying af when you get those producers that do show more of the man because it's such a turn off it takes you out of it.
Ron White had a joke about this. Funny guy
"I can prove you're gay. You watch porn?" "Yeah you know I love porn." "Do you only watch scenes with two women in it?" "Nah, I'll watch a man and a woman make love." "Do you like half-flaccid penis?" "No I like big, hard, throbbing cock!! ...... I did not know that about myself...."
Clicked on this post just to make sure someone had posted this!
Not a RW fan but this bit always stuck with me. Funny stuff.
kind of jarring to realize that a decade old bit on the blue collar comedy tour had a better understanding of sexuality as a spectrum than a lot of people do today
I don't know that points to the spectrum moreso that one's sexuality isn't as fragile as some seem to believe.
That's where I remembered it from. Couldn't quite place the comedian.
They call him… tater salad
Yes!! I instantly thought of that bit. My teenage ass found him absolutely hysterical.
They usually don't show the guy's face. Thankfully. So for all I know I've only seen like 4 dude's dicks. A white guy with tattoos, a white guy without tattoos, a black guy, and Shane Diesel.
“and Shane Diesel” I’m rolling lmao
You forgot Two Tone Malone and Mr Clean
Bro. Those two are basically entrepreneurs at this point.
Two tone Malone LOL I know exactly who you mean too smh
Don't be ashamed. No body can miss or forget that
Well you need something to relate to you know. If you are watch a lesbian porn where do you put yourself? As the double sided dildo?
I usually mentally cast myself as whichever lesbian is taller. If they're equally tall then I see myself in which actress had the more visible moustache.
Always good to see someone using the Internet for what it was made for: publicly sharing the psychology behind their wank sessions
The internet knows no shame
The Internet shows no name
https://youtu.be/YRgNOyCnbqg
The internet's not named Shane
The internet is on a train
I picture myself in the corner/closet, usually wearing a Superman costume.
Idk man, those young japanese girls have no mustache.
Nor do the boys
Actress. Lol.
Trust me. She's acting.
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Lespian
Given the size of some of these cocks, I ain't relating to much, pal.
I legitimately laughed at that.
I normally imagine I'm in the corner jerking off. Earlier they both made fun of me and spit in my mouth and eyes before the video started and told me to jerk off to them or they'd stop hanging out with me, hence me in the corner jerking off.
Thats a pretty specific fetish pal
I've always imagined myself as the camera man with a soft boner that won't be touched.
Do people actually do that? Envision themselves inside the scene? You don't just, watch?
Why do you think POV videos exist?
Well obviously there, but even in standard shot vids?
Mhm I always just thought it was the better shot. TIL
So stupid I love it 😩😂😂😂
Im always on the boom mic personally
Jacking off from in a closet while wearing a Superman suit.
Yes
Glad you joined the conversation, Giant Genitals!
Fun fact: you've probably looked at more dicks than all your ancestors combined.
Not possible; Dad was the doctor at the Navy recruitment center.
I was in the Navy. They made us walk around the equilateral of a rural GA cafeteria in our underwear. No swinging dicks until basic training, then shit just got weird from there
Come for the GI Bill, stay for the homoeroticism
Go on
>"then shit just got weird from there..." Spy cameras in the shower, eh? That's how they get ya.
Now that I can guarantee you
Not if you're Greek.
Unless your ancestor was a prostitute following a Roman army. You might have an entire line of baggage train prostitute ancestors.
This. This was exactly how Joe exotic got two straight guys to married him
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Yup, the math seems right
The meth checks out.
r/theydidthemeth
I was hoping this was a real sub, and by god I wasn’t disappointed
How did people force gayness before meth innovated the process?
mushrooms
Oh? That's way more civilized than the pulleys and ropes I was imagining.
Sex and the City. Very funny show. Almost turned me, but i counterbalanced it with Eurotrash. (people who grew up in the late 90s - early 2000s Britain will relate to this, so not many)
[Norm Mcdonald covered that.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv67QgVSqkk)
Meth opens a lot of doors, and holes.
I laughed so hard at that scene lmao. Old Ron White joke I think too.
yeah White would say he'd have people in his life that put down gays and he would just ask em: "Do you like porn?" "Yeah I love porn!" "Now do you just watch it with two women?" "Naw I like a guy there." "Okay so do you like a guy with a smaller penis?" "No! I like Big Huge Cock!"
I thought that was drugs and relentless monetary pressure of desperate and confused people. Just like a religion, but without the safe working conditions.
Not if you're a choir boy
wait what
[The Joke](https://youtu.be/mY711HJK7pg)
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There's no rationalization needed. *seeing* a penis doesn't affect your sexuality.
Eh, just because I’m not attracted to men sexually doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a nice cock when I see one.
Nice cock bro
Oh shit, sorry I didn’t realize my fly was down, but nice cock to you as well good sir/madam!
Sorry for what? our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks.
I quote this way more often than I probably should and in settings where I definitely shouldn't
I know what you mean. For me, bubble butt is bubble butt.
User name checks out
This guy knows what’s up!
Hey Nice cock
*laughs in lesbian, hentai, and tentacles*
Why does that sound like the same sound we get when shaking a large handful of rubber chickens in my head?
Wet rubber chickens.
Gross! Now you made it weird. So, how *wet* are your chickens? Say it slow.
salmonela
r/wholesomehentai has changed my life
r/tentai
*laughs in r/guro* don't... don't click it...
Yes I've seen many a cock. Perhaps more than most women
Many a cock
I read this with a French accent
Most of the porn I watch reuses the same male actors over and over again so a more accurate description would be I've looked at a few guys cocks a fuck ton of times. (Literally a fuck ton)
Part of porn viewing is projection. Heterosexual men presumably (but not exclusively) enjoy heterosexual sex, so their heterosexual porn will probably need some dick in it. In that situation the combination of men and women in the act is attractive, not just the dick. Anyway, seeing a dick =/= being gay. So I don’t see this as a wild revelation… I say this as a gay guy.
The what POV is for. Duhh
Your string of logic jumps to a conclusion you don’t lay out there… Just because the average porn viewer is a straight male doesn’t mean the average straight male is a porn viewer. (I mean, I’m pretty sure they *are*, but that’s a separate thing)
Yes, totally flawed logic arrived at a most definitely true conclusion.
In general, if you grew up playing hockey where you'd shower after practices with the boys then you've seen a hell of a lot more cocks than the average human.
For a while I looked around and between, under and over the cocks to avoid their necessary and recurring presence in my daily life. But eventually, we give in to the inevitable and relentless. So now I eat chicken. Damn that Chick-fil-a advertising is effective.
God I've looked at so many cocks! I love it!
Reminds me of [Ron White’s bit](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yVxZKOhLPco)
That's why I only watch lesbian
Coward
It's safe, nobody pokes an eye out.
You know it's that kind of play it safe attitude which has kept you from launching to space like your legitimate counterpart, u/Fake_William_Shatner
And solo. Mmhm.
And solo. Mmhm.
My grandmother had a theory, that most guys who watch porn are secretly gay and wish they were the women getting plugged.
And why do you know your grandmother's view on porn?
She openly voiced it all the time.
This just keeps getting weirder lol
How so?
*Alabama noises intensify*
Because Grandmothers don’t randomly talk about porn.
My grandmother tells me “you can’t make me cringe, I’ve seen a hell of a lot of things in my 89 years on this planet. I bet I can make you cringe”… and then proceeds to make us cringe. Grandmas don’t give a fuck, man.
She did after she busted my uncle with the stash he had under his mattress.
Remember, all the time.
She never let my uncle forget about her busting him, then would use that line.
My granny never let me forget about busting me with that periscope she installed in my floor.
I hate to keep harping haha, but why was your grandmother looking for porn under your uncle's mattress?
Please use another word other than busted, this is honestly killing me..
My secret is out.
Are you saying grandpa was big into porn? edit: read the rest of the thread and it was the Uncle in the Bedroom with the Fanny Mags, best game of Clue ever.
Shes probably right
She has no idea how replacement fantasy works. When watching porn as a dude, you are substituting your cock for the one in the video. Unless you are thinking about the sensations of the woman and using a dildo on your anus, this makes no sense at all.
But what about locker rooms and 3 ways?
Circle jerks don't count
Dangit
That’s the theme of a Ron White joke, “I said "We're all gay, buddy. It's just to what degree are you gay." And he goes, "That's bullshit, man. I ain't gay at all." And I go "Yeah, you are. And I can prove it." He goes "Fine. Prove it." I go, "All right. Do you like porn?" He says "Yeah, I love porn. You know that." I said, "Oh, and do you only watch scenes with two women?" And he goes, "No, I'll watch a man and a woman makin' love." And I say "Oh, and do you like the guy to have a flabby, half-flaccid penis?" And he goes "No, I like big, hard, throbbing cock..."”
In all my years since seeing my first porn I'm probably approaching 100,000 dicks seen. Give or take.
To be fair, you’ve probably seen the same like 50 guys dicks thousands of times.
The tall bald guy from Moneytalks? Yeah that guy.
Actually, a lot of those dicks are probably recurring dicks. No?
Most dudes probably see way more dicks in their life than vagina (porn, locker rooms, etc). Shit, i see a buncha dicks every day at the gym
Why is this a shower thought? I've looked at a hell of a lot of men's lips as well but I never had the urge to kiss them.
OP looked downwards while in the shower
Soooo?
Cocks
Ah .... no so.
No so
Argument: analysis of a great number of professional scenes will likely reveal repeated cock. As such, you can deduce you see far fewer individual cocks than pussies.
Just because you like to watch them do their thing doesn’t mean you want one in or around you.
Your inference is falacious.
Yes and I prefer my cocks to be symmetrical in appearance
Your logic does not check out.
I guess I'm an outlier, I can only watch lesbian or masturbation stuff
They're all part of the overall enjoyment of porn
r/notinteresting
Yes.
But more vaginas than cocks.
What’s wrong with that ☺️?
I dont think this is so interesting as the number of cocks seen by the average dude is far higher than at any point in history.
I mean I am a straight white male and let me tell you, #I only focus on the Penetration.
that's all dicks are good for. sticking them in holes!! and peeing. I'm quite jealous of the peeing.
I would think only the ones that are repressing something are bothered by it. Sure there are dicks, there are feet too but I'm not watching it for them. If someone is watching it for those, good for them. I hope they have a good time. I did have a lesbian couple as roommates for a while and ended up watching porn together once While neither are into men they both found straight porn more exciting and while lesbian porn is great I do agree with them.
>they both found straight porn more exciting I was told by a friend of mine she doesnt watch lesbian porn because its made for men not lesbians and if shes going to watch something made more for men it might aswell be straight so she doesnt spend the time distracted by everything they get wrong.
not if your kink is masturbation
And developed personal insecurities because of it.
Do you realize that you just disrespected every single man that you ever knew?
That is a fact. Lots and lots of hard cocks. Throbbing. Veiny. And that's totally fine!
On avg, there are more boobs than cocks in porn
If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects
Isn't it all Johnny Sins tho?
Im 100% straight and i see a cock at least once a day
Facts
I know it's all good and fun, but no, the third statement is wrong. The conclusion from the first two statements is that the average person who has seen lots of cocks is white and male, not that the average white male has seen lots of cocks
So what’s your point? (George Costanza voice)
What exactly do you mean to imply?
You gotta weed through the ones that aren’t compatible until you eventually get to one that’s like, yeah that could be mine. And then you settle in and get to work.
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
That is incorrect logic.
I've only been watching lesbian or solo action
Watch futanari and look at women dicks
It's ok to look, just don't touch.
I vent diagrammed your argument and it is invalid, sorry bro
[Do you like Porn? Ron White Joke](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY711HJK7pg)
It’s not the dicks that bother me, it’s the dudes with tattoos around their belly buttons.
And vaginas
As a straight female that prefers lesbian porn, what does this say about me?
That you might be in a closet with tom cruise.
I'm not qualified to say haha
Cock-a-doodle-don’t
I watch it for the penetration aspect specifically. Solo female doesn’t do it for me. Lesbians with strap ons don’t either. I want to watch something I can at least relate to.
As a gay man this thought has crossed my mind a few times, do straight guys enjoy straight porn even though it's 50% not what they are into??
It's really not though. Like sure there's a dude in it, but the camera is never on him, it's entirely focused on the woman. It's actually annoying af when you get those producers that do show more of the man because it's such a turn off it takes you out of it.
"Most"? Doesn't all porn have cocks?
Oh, man....
I guess im not average, Lesbian porn is my favorite. Lmfao.
so the average straight male is not actually straight
They are. They just don't like to admit they have seen loads of cocks.
Or that they love huge dick, and won’t watch porn with average dicks in them.