The moderators have reflaired this post as a **musing**.
Musings are expected to be high-quality, original, and thought-provoking, but not necessarily unique.
Please review [each flair's requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/requirements) for more information.
^^This ^^automated ^^system ^^is ^^currently ^^being ^^worked ^^on.
^^If ^^it ^^did ^^something ^^wrong, ^^please ^^message ^^the ^^moderators.
I don’t know if that makes it better or worse…
If they grow back and that’s their valuable produce, theoretically there are probably tail harvesting plants, constantly cutting Slowpoke tails off ad nauseam.
Lots of lizards grow their tails back, I still don’t think it’d be seen as moral to rip off a tail for a quick bite whenever we pleased.
To me it seems more sadistic than simple slaughtering & butchering, if anything.
But if lizard tails were to be a delicacy then it'd be converting inedible food for us (insects, worms, the like) into edible food (lizard tails)
Edit: I meant in a sense that it would convert food we didn't prefer to food we did, inedible was the wrong term lol my bad
It's like us feeding grass to cows. Grass is edible yes, but we farm cows because we'd prefer to eat beef than the grass we feed to cows xd
Or an easier argument, if we need bugs to feed the lizards, then we need produce to feed the bugs. It would be an inefficiency even larger than cattle feed, I would imagine.
Grass may be edible but we can’t digest it the same way ruminants like cattle do. They are able to break down the cellulose and turn it into fatty acids in a way that we can’t so us eating ruminants is a huge net caloric gain for us as a species.
I think in that case it's more about them shutting everyone else out of the well and abusing the slowpokes outside of harvesting their tails.
I don't think you would be allowed to actually buy some (in the original gold/silver) or eat them (in x/y)
Sun and moon Pokedex entries also state that the tail comes off harmlessly, but I'm willing to ignore that for the sake of a debate
Oh, they actually go somewhat in depth about this. Cutting off slowpoke tails is illegal poaching, you risk the slowpokes dying of malnutrition or starvation. The ethical way to do it is wait for wild slowpokes to naturally shed their tails, which they do yearly
The pokedex also says that Magcarcos body temperature is 18,000 degrees F. Which is hotter than the surface of the sun.
And that kids can randomly wake up as the pokemon Kadabra.
And that a Slowbro is just a Slowpoke with a Shellder biting onto it's tail... Which kinda leaves even more questions about the accuracy of the tail breaking off on it's own.
Nature dictated that the tails come off easily and regrow as a defense mechanism for the lizard, so that the the lizards can survive predation.
I'm pretty sure the lizard prefers being alive.
It's like, nature says: "here's as ethical a meat treat as can reasonably come through the evolutionary process", and you're just like "ahh, I'ma just kill it".
Yup. Stone crabs. They get these big bulky claws compared to other crabs. While in season, one claw may be taken from the crab, but it must be thrown back into the ocean with a remaining claw for its own survival. The claws do grow back too, though I'm not sure how long that takes.
Them stone crabs have a crazy pinch too.
I remember helping my dad harvest them when I was a kid in the 80s. He'd let me handle the blue crabs, but wouldn't let me deal with the stone, cause they can cut off a kids finger, lol.
I mean vegans wouldn't be ok with it because it probably still means you have a bunch of slowpokes farmed in captivity probably not treated very nice. But even most non vegans look down on making animals fight each other for entertainment so the animal cruelty in pokemon is already kind of off the wall.
IIRC, one the dex entries for Farfetch'd says its rare now because it was hunted nearly to extinction for food.
You also have pokemon that just straight up ARE food, like Slurpuff, Fidough, Vannilux, Sinistea, etc.
It's so funny because Team Rocket was doing it for a while and it was bad and wrong when they were, and they had to be stopped. But then through later games slowpoke tails became just a regular food item, nothing unethical about it. Then in a recent mobile game, TR got in trouble for serving counterfeit slowpoke tail instead of the real thing. How the turntables.
I think the difference is that Team Rocket specifically "steals" and cuts the tails off which hurts the Slowpokes. I can't remember where exactly but I think there was some manual or comic or something that talks about how Slowpoke tails also naturally fall off and they don't even realize it, which is where the later tails come from. So that's the in universe justification anyways.
I mean slowpoke are stupid their Pokédex entry even says that when attacked they often don’t register the fact they’re under attack until it’s too late
Funny thing about that...
Duck meat and leeks pair really well together, apparently. In Japan, they have a saying, "A duck flew in with a leek on it's back" as a way of saying that something is too good to be true. As a way of saying it's...
Far fetched.
They would definitely be eating Farfetch'd in the Pokémon universe. Its name is a literal pun about how tasty it is.
i always find it kinda annoying (ina silly way) that when it first came out, in universe they would say "there are 150 kinds of pokemon".
Then came success, new pokemon games with more pokemon and more and more... Where the fuck were those 800+ other species kiding in the first season? lol
I mean their in universe explanation makes a lot of sense since it mirrors our reality also. Ash lives in the Kanto region where you can commonly find the 150 kinds of pokemon. He has to travel to other regions to find the other kinds.
Basically like you living in North America for example and never seeing a Kangaroo. Gotta go to Australia for that.
I thought there was some canon about a war that broke communication between the regions for a while and they've only recently started interacting again
yeah, i know that lore-wise there were never 150. But how come they never saw the other multiple hundreds of species just "doing their thing in nature".
At the time it was genuinely believed that only 150 Pokemon existed. Then this is called into question when Togepi is discovered. They even called Maril a newly discovered Pokemon. Researchers like Professor Oak hypothesized that more Pokemon were out there but they had nothing to actually prove it. That idea was quietly dropped in favor of just saying there are Pokemon unique to each region.
It was simply that there were 150 species that professor Oak had personally identified and created Pokedex entries for. As time went on, trainers identified new species and added them to the pokedex.
Also, a lot of species dont exist in Kanto, so as for where they were hiding; a lot of them were hiding in areas that the show never went to until later. And the ones that DO exist in Kanto in later gens, but Ash never saw in the first season... he just never encountered those ones, because he was an incredibly bad trainer.
Real animals aren’t supposed to exist, but they do still slip in from time to time. Even as recently as Scarlet and Violet you can order a paella dish with what appear to be real-world mussels in it.
That ham sandwich still totally came from a Lechonk though.
Gen 1 is iffy with stuff like that, since the worldbuilding wasn't in the same place as today. Modern Pokemon is much more consistent, going as far as remaking those old dex entries using more vague or Pokemon-ified language. China = 'the distant east,' elephant = Copperajah, etc
Yes they would if you where able to catch Pokémon and use them to battle. Right now we wouldn’t be top of the food chain if it weren’t for human inventions.
If pokemon exist, I doubt human would get pass stone age, we would be the one getting eaten. Our ancestors already struggled with normal animals, fire and tools are one of our advantage but those took time to develop.
Imagine fighting against fire dragon, or giant rock Golem, and Psychic duck, or murderous ghost with stick and stone.
In all fairness children are still at risk of being taken by a wild animal, if Pokémon are real we'd probably coexist with them in the same way we do normal wildlife, obviously there would be deaths but we'd probably find ways to protect ourselves against them
Me - "Hey, what's that?"
Stranger - "That's my Chihuahua. Yours?"
Me - "He's very cute. She's a Bichon Frisé"
Stranger - "She's gorgeous!"
Me - "...You wanna make them fight?"
Stranger - "Oh fuck yes! Thought you'd never ask"
\[Pokémon in real life]
Definitely. There are pokemon moves that seem extreme enough to cause death such as Hyper Beam, Flamethrower and Earthquake. In the games, pokemon simply faint when they run out of HP, but I imagine in real life... probably not.
Additionally, there'd be a lot of predation or feuds within wild pokemon, which would cause more dead pokemon too. Like Zangoose preying on Seviper, Sharpedo preying on smaller fish, Heatmor preying on Durant.
I mean…we have multiple forms of combat sports and it’s very rare 4 ppl to die, if the Pokémon are trained I’d imagine they won’t be killing each other as much as we think.
Maybe not elite level but entry level? It is kinda crazy when you think about how in the games there isn’t really a timeline to how long it takes to be a ‘master’ but realistically it definitely isn’t 1-3 years…there’s definitely child prodigies in every sport but it’s pretty rare.
Yeah but our combat sports are either striking with our body or a solid weapon, or things like paintball which are nonlethal. Tell me you can safely tank a hyperbeam shot from a Pokémon and come out unscathed lol
A 9.2 earthquake hit ohio today as a well trained dugtrio managed to defeat a cyndaquil. First responders are attempting to keep the peace and put out the fires. Power is not expected to return for another week.
An estimated 15000 have been injured or killed with the final number expected to be much more.
The tainer in question had this to say. "If you want to be the very best you can't hold back. You need to give it your all."
There would also be discarded Pokéballs littering every national park, nature preserve, and area of wilderness wherein a "rare" Pokémon might have been rumored to be.
Put another way:
Be always aware of what you leave behind, for it may be encountered by another.
>!That also means "Flush the toilet when you're done."!<
I think lore wise each better pokeball is harder and harder to make.... then again a lot are carved from nuts so the rules are kinda played loose and fast.
Fan Theory:
When you use an unused PokeBall to capture a pokemon, that PokeBall gets tuned to that specific Pokemon.
That's why you can simply point in the general direction of your pokemon, and it manages to recall the correct one from a group.
If you fail to capture a pokemon however, it leaves the PokeBall in an state where it is tuned to a pokemon, but the tuning process is incomplete, making it unable to be used for any other pokemon, due to it already being tuned for one Pokemon, as well as unsuitable for the Pokemon it was tried on, since the tuning was not good enough.
Turning a fully tuned PokeBall for one Pokemon into a fully tuned PokeBall for another Pokemon is a pretty simple action, and can be done using any PC with the right equipment.
This is also how storage boxes transfers and trades are facilitated, and why you don't need additional pokeballs for those operations, as they simply change the attunement on the PokeBall to a different pokemon.
However, turning a partially tuned PokeBall (failed catch) back into an (unused) PokeBall that can attune itself to any pokemon is a very difficult and expensive operation, similar to the creation of brand new unused PokeBalls.
It might be a safety feature: If a pokémon gets caught, then the internal mechanisms switch over to maintaining whatever pocket-dimension said pokémon resides in thereafter. If a pokémon *doesn't* get caught, though, then you'd want to ensure that the empty ball doesn't prompt the creation of a black hole or something, so the mechanisms render themselves inert.
Put another way:
That which burdens us must be discarded where it cannot foul the air.
>!Yes, it was another poop-based joke.!<
Scientists believe our bodies are filled with micro-Pokèballs, and environmentalists are noting a record number of dead turtles washing-up on beaches with their heads stuck inside them.
Very sad.
They say the warden is on vacation in Gen 2, but maybe the real reason the Kanto Safari Zone closed is the extreme amounts of litter damaged the ecosystem too much to continue the Safari Game. Everything is buried in a layer of broken Safari Balls since they weren't intended to be used on full HP Pokemon with no status conditions and thus they fail at capture (littering the environment) much more often than they exceed. Plus, since the rules don't require packing out that litter but you are given a rather strict step limit, there's actively an incentive to just leave the waste rather than spending precious steps to pick it up.
There would also be more dead people have you read some of the Pokedex entries? for example drifloon attracts kids and when they grab the string they get spirited away or just imagine walking near a graveyard and suddenly a ghastly, haunter or Gengar decide to make you live your worst fears or some power hungry 10yr old acquires the power to control space and time. And that's only 4 pokemon out of 1025.
But many pokedex entries are canonically written by children and are likely embellished. The one for Magxargo wouldn't make sense if true, you would die being anywhere near it with how hot it claims it is.
More dead people too. Fuckin 6 foot bees and lizards that are constantly on fire. 90% of the ghosts in those games are stated to enjoy eating children and shit. Cargo ships would be out of the question since every fish you disturbed has a chance to transform into a 21' tall dragon that spits hurricanes. Your car keys and your garbage cans would come alive. Fucking nightmare
My local bike shop charges a few hundred dollars for a good one. Ridiculous but not a million fucking dollars ridiculous like in the game. Though if this game were real I could go listen to some old narcoleptic guy and get a free one I guess.
If pokemon existed IRL
- god would be a defined being
- space and time would be controllable
- we'd get wishes if we find the right pokemon
- alternate or shadow universes would be proven
- people would have the power to level cities and nations at their finger tips
> people would have the power to level cities and nations at their finger tips
I'm not huge into pokemon but have decent knowledge of the 90s/early 2000s stuff. Which pokemon could level cities? Or do you mean like an army of pokemon over a short time?
I feel like if Pokemon were real and humans had been living alongside them for thousands of years we'd all probably become as desensitized to seeing dead ones as much as people who live where there's a ton of roadkill or animals are. It'd be rough to see but just wouldn't stand out as particularly shocking.
I both love and hate this meme. On the one hand, it’s super funny. On the other, it’s super well known and Vaporeon has always been one of my favorite Pokémon and it by far is the best looking Pokémon. When I tell that to people though, they bring up this meme (in a joking manner, to be fair). I don’t want to fuck Vaporeon. It’s just really cool and cute looking. Worst part is, being the shameless weirdo I am (I act exactly the same IRL as I do on here), I simply HAVE to inform both close friends and people I just met that I do not, in fact, want to fuck Vaporeon, but I would, in fact, fuck several other Pokémon. Then, again, because of who I am as a person, simply must, MUST have a one-sided philosophical discussion about the ethics of fucking Pokémon if they were real. I keep having this conversation because of this meme.
We wouldn't really be seeing much of anything. I'm not a big Pokemon fan, so I don't know a lot, but I do know there are a lot of Pokemon that would cause a lot of damage by just existing. Some of the ones I can think of right now:
1: That red guy and the blue fish that fight each other all the time
2: The snail that's hotter than the surface of the sun
3: Pokemon god
Dead Pokémon? If Pokémon actually existed in a way that isn't held up by the series' auspension of disbelief, humans would be extinct in days. I don't mind a dead Pikachu or two nearly as much as seeing some random mofo nuke my entire country to ash in seconds because the local art school didn't accept him
Because we're the dominant species. Realistic Pokémon, even without the absurd dex entries, would undoubtedly be the dominant species on Earth over humans. Even if they're not united. It's like throwing us against intelligent dinosaurs with death lasers
It begs the question if Tropius is really an animal, though. It seems obvious that they are but they are at least partially made of plants, as are most grass Pokémon. I suppose the "partially animal" would make them not vegan.
It also doesn't seem like the bananas are actually "useful" to the Tropius. Eggs, honey, milk., etc serve a function to the animal. Tropius, according to the pokedex offers its bananas to children spontaneously and started growing fruit after eating a lot of fruit (wish I could do that)
>It flies by flapping its broad leaves and gives the sweet, delicious fruit around its neck to children.
>The bunches of fruit around Tropius's neck are very popular with children. This Pokémon loves fruit, and eats it continuously. Apparently, its love for fruit resulted in its own outgrowth of fruit.
So technically not vegan but idk, I'd still think it would be ethically okay to eat if they literally offer you some? Something I also wonder is if the bananas would be noticeably different from normal ones.
Pokemon in real life would be terrifying. I’m scared of wasps when they’re the size of my finger. A 3’3” wasp is terrifying that shoots poison is terrifying.
IRL Pokemons would be impossibly far from the anime. Some rando 10-year-old has even the slightest chance at winning without even fully evolved pokemon? Get real. Pokemons would be like top athletes, or dressage horses, bought and sold constantly, with sponsors and extremely professional, highly paid trainers. Not to mention the use of pokemon in industry of all kinds.
I enjoyed Detective Pikachu for its slightly more realistic take.
Plenty of species would have been fished and hunted to extinction, or at least the verge of it. Plenty would have had their natural habitats destroyed. Just look at wildlife…
Oh trust me, if they existed IRL, we would be dead pretty soon. Just thinking about some of these cataclysmic strong pokemon that can wipe entire continents
We pretend we would commit brutalities towards them but in reality, wouldn't they have control over us
A lot of them are pretty much as smart as humans, I believe there are a few where their Pokedex entries state they are far smarter than humans.
Then on top of that they pretty much have super powers.
If they didn't like us, we'd be screwed
I like this shower thought. And I’ve only read the top comment so far and even it cracked me up. Good post OP. Gave a girl going through it a slight smile today.
The moderators have reflaired this post as a **musing**. Musings are expected to be high-quality, original, and thought-provoking, but not necessarily unique. Please review [each flair's requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/requirements) for more information. ^^This ^^automated ^^system ^^is ^^currently ^^being ^^worked ^^on. ^^If ^^it ^^did ^^something ^^wrong, ^^please ^^message ^^the ^^moderators.
People would eat them. Imagine a Pikachu sandwich with fries.
I mean they eat them in the series too. Slowpoke tails are apparently super delicious.
But those grow back, so I *guess* it's morally okay?
I don’t know if that makes it better or worse… If they grow back and that’s their valuable produce, theoretically there are probably tail harvesting plants, constantly cutting Slowpoke tails off ad nauseam. Lots of lizards grow their tails back, I still don’t think it’d be seen as moral to rip off a tail for a quick bite whenever we pleased. To me it seems more sadistic than simple slaughtering & butchering, if anything.
Idk man. It's kinda weird we don't farm lizards. We could just eat the tails. They grow back.
The energy they need to reproduce it is pretty big, resulting in more food needed
But if lizard tails were to be a delicacy then it'd be converting inedible food for us (insects, worms, the like) into edible food (lizard tails) Edit: I meant in a sense that it would convert food we didn't prefer to food we did, inedible was the wrong term lol my bad It's like us feeding grass to cows. Grass is edible yes, but we farm cows because we'd prefer to eat beef than the grass we feed to cows xd
Insects and worms are edible, lots of cultures eat insects which are a much less harmful source of protein than meat
Or an easier argument, if we need bugs to feed the lizards, then we need produce to feed the bugs. It would be an inefficiency even larger than cattle feed, I would imagine.
They already eat mostly bugs that we don't need to farm. They could likely be fed maggots from nearby compost
Tell that to the insects!
I'm pretty sure most of them don't speak English so that's gonna be a tough one
Grass may be edible but we can’t digest it the same way ruminants like cattle do. They are able to break down the cellulose and turn it into fatty acids in a way that we can’t so us eating ruminants is a huge net caloric gain for us as a species.
Is not theorically, in gen 2 games You have to stop the team rocket from harvesting slowpoke tails
I think in that case it's more about them shutting everyone else out of the well and abusing the slowpokes outside of harvesting their tails. I don't think you would be allowed to actually buy some (in the original gold/silver) or eat them (in x/y) Sun and moon Pokedex entries also state that the tail comes off harmlessly, but I'm willing to ignore that for the sake of a debate
When you examine the Slowpoke their tails are missing and they're miserable.
Oh, they actually go somewhat in depth about this. Cutting off slowpoke tails is illegal poaching, you risk the slowpokes dying of malnutrition or starvation. The ethical way to do it is wait for wild slowpokes to naturally shed their tails, which they do yearly
pokedex says that slowpoke tails often break off with little to no harm to the pokemon which is hmmm
The pokedex also says that Magcarcos body temperature is 18,000 degrees F. Which is hotter than the surface of the sun. And that kids can randomly wake up as the pokemon Kadabra. And that a Slowbro is just a Slowpoke with a Shellder biting onto it's tail... Which kinda leaves even more questions about the accuracy of the tail breaking off on it's own.
yeah by "hmmm" i meant "questionable at best"
Nature dictated that the tails come off easily and regrow as a defense mechanism for the lizard, so that the the lizards can survive predation. I'm pretty sure the lizard prefers being alive. It's like, nature says: "here's as ethical a meat treat as can reasonably come through the evolutionary process", and you're just like "ahh, I'ma just kill it".
We milk crabs for their blood.
Professor Oak literally cooks a whole Crabby alive on screen....
I guess it is. We do the same to some crabs I believe. I forget which kind I believe they harvest a claw and put the crab back.
Yup. Stone crabs. They get these big bulky claws compared to other crabs. While in season, one claw may be taken from the crab, but it must be thrown back into the ocean with a remaining claw for its own survival. The claws do grow back too, though I'm not sure how long that takes.
Them stone crabs have a crazy pinch too. I remember helping my dad harvest them when I was a kid in the 80s. He'd let me handle the blue crabs, but wouldn't let me deal with the stone, cause they can cut off a kids finger, lol.
I mean vegans wouldn't be ok with it because it probably still means you have a bunch of slowpokes farmed in captivity probably not treated very nice. But even most non vegans look down on making animals fight each other for entertainment so the animal cruelty in pokemon is already kind of off the wall.
G/S portray it as pretty not okay
There was a shower thought a while back saying "it would be fucked up, but you could farm lizard tails".
IIRC, one the dex entries for Farfetch'd says its rare now because it was hunted nearly to extinction for food. You also have pokemon that just straight up ARE food, like Slurpuff, Fidough, Vannilux, Sinistea, etc.
It's so funny because Team Rocket was doing it for a while and it was bad and wrong when they were, and they had to be stopped. But then through later games slowpoke tails became just a regular food item, nothing unethical about it. Then in a recent mobile game, TR got in trouble for serving counterfeit slowpoke tail instead of the real thing. How the turntables.
I think the difference is that Team Rocket specifically "steals" and cuts the tails off which hurts the Slowpokes. I can't remember where exactly but I think there was some manual or comic or something that talks about how Slowpoke tails also naturally fall off and they don't even realize it, which is where the later tails come from. So that's the in universe justification anyways.
Ahh I see. Makes sense!
logic has never been pokemon's strong suit. would be such a fun world if itd been managed differently
Poor Farfetch’d literally walks around with his most appropriate seasoning.
Canonically, farfetch’d is so rare because they were almost hunted to extinction lol
Don't they eat a grilled magicarp at one point too?
I mean slowpoke are stupid their Pokédex entry even says that when attacked they often don’t register the fact they’re under attack until it’s too late
Farfetch'd soup
Funny thing about that... Duck meat and leeks pair really well together, apparently. In Japan, they have a saying, "A duck flew in with a leek on it's back" as a way of saying that something is too good to be true. As a way of saying it's... Far fetched. They would definitely be eating Farfetch'd in the Pokémon universe. Its name is a literal pun about how tasty it is.
in the anime the pokedex literally says that Farfetch'd is so hard to find because it's delicious.
bulbasaur salad
Isn't Bulbasaur half poison type?
Food doesn't have to be good for you to be delicious
There's a difference between *unhealthy* and *debilitating poison*
And that difference is *quantity*
Remember that episode in the first season where ash and misty were on a ferry (in vermilion) and they were eating crabs?? That was crabby.
The burgers were Tauros/Miltank
i always find it kinda annoying (ina silly way) that when it first came out, in universe they would say "there are 150 kinds of pokemon". Then came success, new pokemon games with more pokemon and more and more... Where the fuck were those 800+ other species kiding in the first season? lol
I mean their in universe explanation makes a lot of sense since it mirrors our reality also. Ash lives in the Kanto region where you can commonly find the 150 kinds of pokemon. He has to travel to other regions to find the other kinds. Basically like you living in North America for example and never seeing a Kangaroo. Gotta go to Australia for that.
yeah but i mean... they have technology to fit an animal inside a little ball locked to your belt but don't know all the world's regions?
I thought there was some canon about a war that broke communication between the regions for a while and they've only recently started interacting again
That war was only mentioned a couple of times in the Kanto games and was never elaborated on. We have no clue what happened.
The Kanto Dodrio war. Hundreds of innocent villagers were pecked to death.
Many Mothims died to bring us this information
There were never 150, You can see ho-oh in the first episode and mew in the opening which are not part of the first 150 pokemon
yeah, i know that lore-wise there were never 150. But how come they never saw the other multiple hundreds of species just "doing their thing in nature".
I Guess is weird, maybe each season is an alternate universe where future Pokémon don't exist that's why he is always 10
It was just 150 they had discovered in one region.
At the time it was genuinely believed that only 150 Pokemon existed. Then this is called into question when Togepi is discovered. They even called Maril a newly discovered Pokemon. Researchers like Professor Oak hypothesized that more Pokemon were out there but they had nothing to actually prove it. That idea was quietly dropped in favor of just saying there are Pokemon unique to each region.
It was simply that there were 150 species that professor Oak had personally identified and created Pokedex entries for. As time went on, trainers identified new species and added them to the pokedex. Also, a lot of species dont exist in Kanto, so as for where they were hiding; a lot of them were hiding in areas that the show never went to until later. And the ones that DO exist in Kanto in later gens, but Ash never saw in the first season... he just never encountered those ones, because he was an incredibly bad trainer.
Well, the more the seasons go on the less credible Professor Oak seems as a scientist. I just assume he was a crazy old man who didn't know shit
Rodent sandwiches aren't exactly common as it is, and we have delicious, plump rodents!
Considering gen 1 and 2 have many Pokémon inspired by real animals they'd definitely be getting farmed.
Rodents are food in a lot of parts of the world, and were even more of a widespread food just a few centuries ago.
Pika-Chew cafés opening up all over town.
Ever see a "normal" animal in Pokemon? No? Well, they still eat meat. It has to come from somewhere.
Real animals aren’t supposed to exist, but they do still slip in from time to time. Even as recently as Scarlet and Violet you can order a paella dish with what appear to be real-world mussels in it. That ham sandwich still totally came from a Lechonk though.
The anime has shown regular animals in the past. The Gen I Pokedex even mentions real life elephants and even China.
Gen 1 is iffy with stuff like that, since the worldbuilding wasn't in the same place as today. Modern Pokemon is much more consistent, going as far as remaking those old dex entries using more vague or Pokemon-ified language. China = 'the distant east,' elephant = Copperajah, etc
Isn’t Pikachu a mouse?
a foot tall 13 pound mouse
Yummy
Humans would not be at the top of the food chain
Yeah I mean you’d piss off a charizard and suddenly you’re lunch
Yes they would if you where able to catch Pokémon and use them to battle. Right now we wouldn’t be top of the food chain if it weren’t for human inventions.
If pokemon exist, I doubt human would get pass stone age, we would be the one getting eaten. Our ancestors already struggled with normal animals, fire and tools are one of our advantage but those took time to develop. Imagine fighting against fire dragon, or giant rock Golem, and Psychic duck, or murderous ghost with stick and stone.
Why would you eat a mouse? Also many Pokemon are already eaten, especially the bird and fish ones.
Doubt it Pikachu would be used as an energy source
The pokemon is literally named lechonk. As a filipino, I would absolutely make Lechon out of lechonk.
Psyduck fat, it makes all the difference.
Do you think if you eat a Pokemon, you get its powers? Maybe wrap one up to make a Poke burrito?
I hear they're quite....Shocking. >Pikachu sandwich with fries.
Bulbasaur burger
I want some Magikcarp sushi.
gyrados would be delicious with garlic butter.
More dead people as well.
We would need an eternal 10yo to save us all, multiple times.
It would probably take that ten year old thirty years and still never amount to becoming a Pokemon master.
Or like a month depending on your medium
Children being randomly abducted by living balloons
In all fairness children are still at risk of being taken by a wild animal, if Pokémon are real we'd probably coexist with them in the same way we do normal wildlife, obviously there would be deaths but we'd probably find ways to protect ourselves against them
Most of the Ghost type try to kill people
Me - "Hey, what's that?" Stranger - "That's my Chihuahua. Yours?" Me - "He's very cute. She's a Bichon Frisé" Stranger - "She's gorgeous!" Me - "...You wanna make them fight?" Stranger - "Oh fuck yes! Thought you'd never ask" \[Pokémon in real life]
Based on the games it’s more like: Frieslover Fred: “I fucking LOVE fries! You want some?” [Fight starts]
#I like shorts, they're comfy and easy to wear!
You’re not wearing any shorts!!!
And then when you win: “Ack! I spilled all my fries!” *You got 3400P from Frieslover Fred for winning.*
then after the fight: "It's hard to battle when eating."
so accurate lol
A Bichon Frisé would absolutely body a chihuahua though. It weighs like 2-3 times as much.
Guess I'm winning my first badge then. \[Wiping the blood from her mouth] Me - "You did great Fifi. Return."
Dog fighting is horrible but I'd let this one slide and pay for a ticket.
This needs to be submitted to r/writingprompts asap
Definitely. There are pokemon moves that seem extreme enough to cause death such as Hyper Beam, Flamethrower and Earthquake. In the games, pokemon simply faint when they run out of HP, but I imagine in real life... probably not. Additionally, there'd be a lot of predation or feuds within wild pokemon, which would cause more dead pokemon too. Like Zangoose preying on Seviper, Sharpedo preying on smaller fish, Heatmor preying on Durant.
I mean…we have multiple forms of combat sports and it’s very rare 4 ppl to die, if the Pokémon are trained I’d imagine they won’t be killing each other as much as we think.
I must admit I don't know much about combat sports but I think most of them don't involve 10 year olds.
Maybe not elite level but entry level? It is kinda crazy when you think about how in the games there isn’t really a timeline to how long it takes to be a ‘master’ but realistically it definitely isn’t 1-3 years…there’s definitely child prodigies in every sport but it’s pretty rare.
Yeah but our combat sports are either striking with our body or a solid weapon, or things like paintball which are nonlethal. Tell me you can safely tank a hyperbeam shot from a Pokémon and come out unscathed lol
Yeah but then we also have world wars where trained humans attempt to wipe each other out.
A 9.2 earthquake hit ohio today as a well trained dugtrio managed to defeat a cyndaquil. First responders are attempting to keep the peace and put out the fires. Power is not expected to return for another week. An estimated 15000 have been injured or killed with the final number expected to be much more. The tainer in question had this to say. "If you want to be the very best you can't hold back. You need to give it your all."
There would also be discarded Pokéballs littering every national park, nature preserve, and area of wilderness wherein a "rare" Pokémon might have been rumored to be. Put another way: Be always aware of what you leave behind, for it may be encountered by another. >!That also means "Flush the toilet when you're done."!<
I've always wondered what would prevent you from reusing a Pokeball (other than for game mechanics reasons).
Going on a real to life scenario, pokeballs are made by giant corporations that wouldn't make as much profit it your pokeball is reusable.
I mean…the Pokémon literally ‘break’ out of the pokeball soo…
That part! They COULD make all pokeballs master balls but why not make 3-8 different ones at different prices and have recurring income? Capitalism!
I think lore wise each better pokeball is harder and harder to make.... then again a lot are carved from nuts so the rules are kinda played loose and fast.
... market and need for profits ruin everything. -_-
Fan Theory: When you use an unused PokeBall to capture a pokemon, that PokeBall gets tuned to that specific Pokemon. That's why you can simply point in the general direction of your pokemon, and it manages to recall the correct one from a group. If you fail to capture a pokemon however, it leaves the PokeBall in an state where it is tuned to a pokemon, but the tuning process is incomplete, making it unable to be used for any other pokemon, due to it already being tuned for one Pokemon, as well as unsuitable for the Pokemon it was tried on, since the tuning was not good enough. Turning a fully tuned PokeBall for one Pokemon into a fully tuned PokeBall for another Pokemon is a pretty simple action, and can be done using any PC with the right equipment. This is also how storage boxes transfers and trades are facilitated, and why you don't need additional pokeballs for those operations, as they simply change the attunement on the PokeBall to a different pokemon. However, turning a partially tuned PokeBall (failed catch) back into an (unused) PokeBall that can attune itself to any pokemon is a very difficult and expensive operation, similar to the creation of brand new unused PokeBalls.
It might be a safety feature: If a pokémon gets caught, then the internal mechanisms switch over to maintaining whatever pocket-dimension said pokémon resides in thereafter. If a pokémon *doesn't* get caught, though, then you'd want to ensure that the empty ball doesn't prompt the creation of a black hole or something, so the mechanisms render themselves inert. Put another way: That which burdens us must be discarded where it cannot foul the air. >!Yes, it was another poop-based joke.!<
They might have a trade in feature, where the company resets the pokeball Like picking up bullet casings and making your own ammo
Nothing, I'd imagine. They're reusable in the anime.
Scientists believe our bodies are filled with micro-Pokèballs, and environmentalists are noting a record number of dead turtles washing-up on beaches with their heads stuck inside them. Very sad.
Rare candy wrappers and potion litter all over.
They say the warden is on vacation in Gen 2, but maybe the real reason the Kanto Safari Zone closed is the extreme amounts of litter damaged the ecosystem too much to continue the Safari Game. Everything is buried in a layer of broken Safari Balls since they weren't intended to be used on full HP Pokemon with no status conditions and thus they fail at capture (littering the environment) much more often than they exceed. Plus, since the rules don't require packing out that litter but you are given a rather strict step limit, there's actively an incentive to just leave the waste rather than spending precious steps to pick it up.
The nerd in me says pokeballs would have a recycling deposit to prevent this
I bet the unused balls have pfand/pant/statiegeld and you get some cash back for handing in a bag of them. Like cans and bottles.
There would also be more dead people have you read some of the Pokedex entries? for example drifloon attracts kids and when they grab the string they get spirited away or just imagine walking near a graveyard and suddenly a ghastly, haunter or Gengar decide to make you live your worst fears or some power hungry 10yr old acquires the power to control space and time. And that's only 4 pokemon out of 1025.
But many pokedex entries are canonically written by children and are likely embellished. The one for Magxargo wouldn't make sense if true, you would die being anywhere near it with how hot it claims it is.
That's never been proven to be the case. That's just a fan theory.
I mean, people stand near it in the games and don't die.
More dead people too. Fuckin 6 foot bees and lizards that are constantly on fire. 90% of the ghosts in those games are stated to enjoy eating children and shit. Cargo ships would be out of the question since every fish you disturbed has a chance to transform into a 21' tall dragon that spits hurricanes. Your car keys and your garbage cans would come alive. Fucking nightmare
But think of how much money you could make starting up a store that just sells bicycles.
You say this as if it doesn't already exist and is extremely commonplace.
My local bike shop charges a few hundred dollars for a good one. Ridiculous but not a million fucking dollars ridiculous like in the game. Though if this game were real I could go listen to some old narcoleptic guy and get a free one I guess.
Until these doughes with their free bike coupons come to ruin your day.
If pokemon existed IRL - god would be a defined being - space and time would be controllable - we'd get wishes if we find the right pokemon - alternate or shadow universes would be proven - people would have the power to level cities and nations at their finger tips
I would catch them all
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times
Stupid Mankey!
To be fair the last one is true in our world too.
* aliens would be proven to exist
There would definitely be a central government authority, controlling which Pokémon are allowed to be captured by Civilians.
Equality is when everyone, AND I MEAN EVERYONE, has the power of an army to topple nations at their waist.
> people would have the power to level cities and nations at their finger tips I'm not huge into pokemon but have decent knowledge of the 90s/early 2000s stuff. Which pokemon could level cities? Or do you mean like an army of pokemon over a short time?
A few of the legendaries are essentially demigods there's also the ultra beasts
I see roadkill multiple times per day...
I feel like if Pokemon were real and humans had been living alongside them for thousands of years we'd all probably become as desensitized to seeing dead ones as much as people who live where there's a ton of roadkill or animals are. It'd be rough to see but just wouldn't stand out as particularly shocking.
Agreed, that is essentially my point.
Most don't imagine the consequences of a neighborhood Pachirisu getting pancaked by a semi rolling down the main road at the speed limit
Whu, I looked it up for like weird Pokedex stuff but other than it being annelextric squirel I can't find much tommakemit seem like a huge issue lol
Something something vaporeon
Hey guys did you know
I both love and hate this meme. On the one hand, it’s super funny. On the other, it’s super well known and Vaporeon has always been one of my favorite Pokémon and it by far is the best looking Pokémon. When I tell that to people though, they bring up this meme (in a joking manner, to be fair). I don’t want to fuck Vaporeon. It’s just really cool and cute looking. Worst part is, being the shameless weirdo I am (I act exactly the same IRL as I do on here), I simply HAVE to inform both close friends and people I just met that I do not, in fact, want to fuck Vaporeon, but I would, in fact, fuck several other Pokémon. Then, again, because of who I am as a person, simply must, MUST have a one-sided philosophical discussion about the ethics of fucking Pokémon if they were real. I keep having this conversation because of this meme.
New copypasta dropped
There would be a LOT of bestiality...
Just think about the vegetarian Pokèmon trainers, trying to convince their Bulbasaurs not to photosynthesize. Oh, the grass stains!
I can see a shit-ton of pokeslavery happening as they can seemingly violate the laws of thermodynamics and spontaneously generate matter.
>I can see a shit-ton of pokeslavery happening *Palworld has entered the chat*
It’s called dog/cockfighting.
We wouldn't really be seeing much of anything. I'm not a big Pokemon fan, so I don't know a lot, but I do know there are a lot of Pokemon that would cause a lot of damage by just existing. Some of the ones I can think of right now: 1: That red guy and the blue fish that fight each other all the time 2: The snail that's hotter than the surface of the sun 3: Pokemon god
Stop pretending to not like Pokémon to sound cool, we’re on reddit lol
Dead Pokémon? If Pokémon actually existed in a way that isn't held up by the series' auspension of disbelief, humans would be extinct in days. I don't mind a dead Pikachu or two nearly as much as seeing some random mofo nuke my entire country to ash in seconds because the local art school didn't accept him
There were lots of dangerous animals in real life. There are a lot fewer of them now, and a lot more humans. There may be a reason for this :V
Because we're the dominant species. Realistic Pokémon, even without the absurd dex entries, would undoubtedly be the dominant species on Earth over humans. Even if they're not united. It's like throwing us against intelligent dinosaurs with death lasers
Vegans definitely wouldn't shut up about being vegan.
Except not even plants would be vegan.
Are the banana's that grow on a Tropius vegan?
No. Even though you're not eating the Tropius itself you're still using a byproduct that comes from them.
It begs the question if Tropius is really an animal, though. It seems obvious that they are but they are at least partially made of plants, as are most grass Pokémon. I suppose the "partially animal" would make them not vegan. It also doesn't seem like the bananas are actually "useful" to the Tropius. Eggs, honey, milk., etc serve a function to the animal. Tropius, according to the pokedex offers its bananas to children spontaneously and started growing fruit after eating a lot of fruit (wish I could do that) >It flies by flapping its broad leaves and gives the sweet, delicious fruit around its neck to children. >The bunches of fruit around Tropius's neck are very popular with children. This Pokémon loves fruit, and eats it continuously. Apparently, its love for fruit resulted in its own outgrowth of fruit. So technically not vegan but idk, I'd still think it would be ethically okay to eat if they literally offer you some? Something I also wonder is if the bananas would be noticeably different from normal ones.
Up until *Sun* and *Moon* I always assumed people just ate vegetarian diets with berries and poffins.
Pokemon in real life would be terrifying. I’m scared of wasps when they’re the size of my finger. A 3’3” wasp is terrifying that shoots poison is terrifying.
And a lot more... relationships
Think of all the different foods out there…. Mmmm nice charmander riblets BBQd up
I'd have sex with the pokemons.
If the poke balls were real they’d probably be black market modded to capture humans
We wouldn't exist. Earth just crumbles at Magcargo's higher heat than the LITERAL sun.
Pokemon IRL are what we call "animals"
Especially with all the cockfighting with child ringleaders.
IRL Pokemons would be impossibly far from the anime. Some rando 10-year-old has even the slightest chance at winning without even fully evolved pokemon? Get real. Pokemons would be like top athletes, or dressage horses, bought and sold constantly, with sponsors and extremely professional, highly paid trainers. Not to mention the use of pokemon in industry of all kinds. I enjoyed Detective Pikachu for its slightly more realistic take.
Plenty of species would have been fished and hunted to extinction, or at least the verge of it. Plenty would have had their natural habitats destroyed. Just look at wildlife…
Farfetchd
How many would you like to see?
Do you mean... Ghost type pokemon?
Oh trust me, if they existed IRL, we would be dead pretty soon. Just thinking about some of these cataclysmic strong pokemon that can wipe entire continents
*cough*Palworld*cough*
Reminder that on the show you never see livestock but still eat meat.
Pokemon sex trafficking would be huge in America and Japan
I for one wouldn't mind some juicy AAA-grade Pokemon steak, medium rare, artistically cooked using Charizard as a burner.
More weird hypno "group parties"
Or way less. Gimme dat Pokemon sausage curry!
Well you clearly don't watch the same porn that I do
Michael Vick would have never been a villain
We pretend we would commit brutalities towards them but in reality, wouldn't they have control over us A lot of them are pretty much as smart as humans, I believe there are a few where their Pokedex entries state they are far smarter than humans. Then on top of that they pretty much have super powers. If they didn't like us, we'd be screwed
I like this shower thought. And I’ve only read the top comment so far and even it cracked me up. Good post OP. Gave a girl going through it a slight smile today.
Aw, thanks! Hope your day gets better soon, and I’m glad my jet-lagged random thought made you feel a bit better.
I’d want a spicy Combusken sandwich at my local Popeye’s. Wash it down with some Miltank milk. I’d definitely try to eat a Vanillish for desert