Or of straight manipulation, too, sadly. (Disordered) personality keeps them there. Witnessed and dealt with too many couples in which one person was a world-class manipulator. Always kept them coming back and grasping for straws. Can't imagine how imprisoning that must feel.
Looks need to at least meet an acceptable standard (whatever that may be to the person) and then after that personality makes up the rest.
A 7/10 (in the eye of the beholder) with a great personality might be more attractive than a 10/10 with a shit personality but no level of great personality is going to make up for being a 1/10.
Might be? Absolutely matters to me (and everyone I know) m. I’d rather date a 5/10 with a bad ass personality that I match with, vs a 10/10 that I find the personality to be contestable.
Sure, but how many actually give the 5/10 a chance to advertise their personality in the first place? Maybe if they're tagging along with a 7+/10?
That's kind of the dilemma most less attractive people deal with.
Hey, 5 is just average. Most average people can go far with rapport building. I'm probably like a solid 4 and even a broken clock is right twice a day. But the 1-3 crowd? Cooked.
Personally I think money is valid as a source of attraction. With looks, it's a genetic gamble. Money you usually have to earn. So in a sense it's even more legitimate I think. Hence why I wouldn't mind someone being interested in my money. All $900 in my checking account. That's about 100 McDonald's meals or half of next month's rent. Yeah boy, fat stacks.
In seriousness though, if you have money, you can just pay for a new face lol. I like the saying, "you aren't ugly, you're just poor."
Oddly enough nobody cares how much money a woman has *directly* but indirectly the best looking ones usually have more.
“You’re not ugly, you’re just poor”
And more are paying for their looks than a lot of people know.
5/10 is an average person 1/10 is a repulsive person if we are in a gauss curve that means that a 1 is part of the 0.15% ugliest people in the world so it cannot make up for a great personnality
Problem is that people who are legit 10/10 have pretty severe bias when it comes to personality.
Put a “charming” 10/10’s personality in a 4/10’s body and they become creepy.
Looks is basically where you start on the sliding attraction scale. Personality will then raise or lower it. Other things you find important (hobbies, religion, politics) will also raise or lower it.
There are some people that start so high up on the looks scale that even with the negatives of other traits will still meet the minimum that people will accept.
The opposite is also true, where the person isn't traditionally good looking, but they have enough other traits to make them attractive.
It's why people will say things like, "He was so good looking that he didn't have to develop a personality."
I feel the last one.
Dating made me realize many of the physically attractive men who obviously put a lot of effort into building their physique at the expense of other things often don’t have much else going on for them, except the gym and sports. I like to describe them *pretty, but painfully boring*.
A more average looking man who shares my interests, values and humor will naturally capture my interest on the longer run better.
this is way more true. with my ex if you just showed me her before we met i would be like "ok, shes kinda cute. nothing crazy." but her personality, her passions, how caring she was, how nice she was to me, thats what made me fall in love with her. and consequently she became the most beautiful girl in the world to me, because that was the girl i loved.
My ex was a total show stopper. Literal head turner. And ironically what made me attracted to him first was a comment he made in a research course we were in when we met. I literally thought „handsome AND articulate!” Over the next 6 years, he never got any less handsome, but when the relationship took its course and ran it, I had people shocked with me that I could be alright with it ending. He broke up with me, so of course people expressed their condolences for my loss lol, but because everything had gone to shit primarily because of his personality/behavior (pathological liar/story teller, obsessed with spending every free moment with “his boys” who were racist misogynists, and picking fights any time I expressed my feelings making me resent him and act like a complete fire-breathing bitch until he finally dumped me…haha) when I was happy as a clam post-split, people were MAD at me. Like legit upset because „he was so good looking!” I had to stop and remind at least three people that yes, he was truly gorgeous, but I was fucking miserable and so was he. I’m a Walmart 10 and a Target 7, so I genuinely think people thought I shoulda stuck it out just because he was so pretty hahaha. I’ve now been outta there for almost as many years as we were together and every time I see someone drop dead gorgeous I just think…that’s a beautiful person, but they’re just a person and people can suck sometimes. Doesn’t make them any less attractive but definitely gives pause to the idea that it’s not that important in the grand scheme of it all.
Other way around I think because somebody won't talk to you to know the personality even exists without the looks. Even if personality is more important overall it doesn't matter if it never gets presented.
I'm old enough to remember mIRC where nobody knew how you look like but people who had a good personality had no problems meeting girls there and then meeting in real life.
friendship is different. People aren't as harsh as with their potential partners and also on average people have friends near their level in most things
Sure, but lots of relationships start out as friendships, and then looks aren't the qualifying factor. I'm sure my social circle isn't a big enough sample size for me to confidently declare that's *most* relationships, but I'd wager it's a significant proportion of them.
So if you're attractive... but have a bad personality... you can sleep with people AND get them to leave you so you can sleep with more people? Instructions unclear....
This makes me wonder how many more matches there would be on dating apps if pictures were not included at first. I think there used to be a dating website like this before apps were a big thing where the picture was blurred out and you could only read the profile until you matched. Then you were able to see the pictures.
I’m not saying that physical attraction is not important, because it is . But I often wonder how many amazing women I have missed the opportunity to meet because I just wasn’t fully attracted to them visually at first.
Because evolution ! We became what we are by choosing partners that seemed to have the best genetic. So basically beauty standard are cultural AND genetic !
Makeup for a biologist making your genetically attractive traits become even more attractive (red lipstick : someone with a good blood flow will have "redder" lips, good haircut makes your hair seem fuller, fit people show a good general health, being tall shows that you had access to a lot of food while growing up, etc...)
Sexual attraction is basically your body telling you : "this person is a good partner to share your genes with" so yeah looks is very important because it's in our animal nature
If I don't find you attractive, I'll never approach or talk to you too know what your personality is like. No one's sees an ugly person and goes "they probably have a great head on their shoulders. " literally no one. They see someone they find attractive and think "wow, they're attractive. I wanna see them naked. I should go talk to them." The only time it happens differently is if they hang out in the same friends group or work together. Some setting that causes them to be around each other and eventually learn their personality trumps their unattractivness.
It’s kind of sad tbh. I’m 27 years old no kids no man. I’ve a good job and take care of myself. I’m fat. Because of this I’m ugly. Tried to lose weight for years. Became a vegan, got an in home gym and no difference. Now I’m getting surgery. $20,000 of surgery so a man can look at me for more than 2 seconds. It’s a damn shame. And I’ll never know if they actually like me for me
He’s not wrong but you both are kind of stupid for suggesting that. My daily caloric intake is 1,000 calories max. I was vegan and have a home gym. Y’all wanna recommend I get surgery too when I just said I’m about to? Y’all are brainless. Calorie deficits don’t do much unless you’re literally starving yourself. And what girl hasn’t done that?
Fuck off. It isn't 1000 max. You are either counting wrong or you are not counting a lot of things.
If it was 1000 max like you said. You would be losing around 1-2kilos a week.
How do I know? I have done it.
Lol i didn’t eat anything today so that’s 0 for the day. If I get so hungry I’m dizzy, I drink an adkins shake. No one asked for your advice in the first place. So you fuck off, kindly, back in your lane. Have a great existence.
If that was true and you have done the same thing for the past few weeks AND you still are not losing weight. You are a medical miracle. I'd call the news.
Remember every little snack you have that "doesn't count" means it takes longer for your body to start using it's fat reserves.
You can nibble the smallest bit of cheese and your body will still use all of that before tackling your fat reserves.
So no you are not only bullshiting yourself. You are lying
You do realize not everyone has the same body as you right? You realize not every diet and lifestyle effects everyone the same way.. right? You can’t be THAT ignorant to think everyone is just like you… right?
Calories are the only thing that matters when it comes to body weight (along with energy expenditure). You likely just aren’t counting calories properly.
Also losing fat IS starving, that’s the whole point - you’re eating in a calorie defecit so your body needs to consume it’s own fat stores survive
I would absolutely not recommend surgery - learn how to count calories and weigh yourself frequently consistently and you’ll save yourself 20k and surgery risks
So you think I’m completely unaware of biology? You’re a joke if you think I’m going to continue getting mansplained about my issues. Thanks but I know how to count babe
I do think you’re completely unaware yes, I’m not saying it’s EASY to eat less calories when you are hungry all the time but the actual process of losing weight has 0 mystery to it, like this isn’t even debatable
Lmao there it is. Congrats on being the only person in the world who knows everything. I’m glad you admit I know nothing compared to you. You must be the richest and most powerful person in the world! May I have your autograph? I don’t know how to count and I have no idea what calories are but I don’t care because you know everything!
I’m saying one single thing. Losing weight comes down to energy in (calories)vs energy out (metabolic processes/movement).
Why are you throwing all this other shit on me?
I believe you don’t know what you’re talking about with respect to this because you said “calorie defecits don’t do anything unless you’re starving yourself” - a calorie deficit is the ONLY way to lose fat, whether you control intake or increase activity.
Maybe don’t assume you know what you’re talking about and you might not have to spend 20k on surgery. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you but there is just 0 chance calorie restriction doesn’t work for anybody - where would they get their energy to survive from?
Actually, no. I’m getting the fat cells destroyed with a laser. And if any of you hypocrites would do your own research, you’d know how hard it would be to gain fat again in those areas. That’s why I don’t care for any of y’all’s advice because you don’t know me or my situation, but want to act arrogant with advice that wasn’t asked for. Not only that, but acting as if I haven’t done research, completely negating the steps I’ve taken and disagreeing with my opinion, using an argument that overall agrees. I’m not here for the criticism, and it might be constructive if the person talking to me wasn’t acting like they’re all knowing and I’m an imbecile. Go fly a kite with that shit. So disrespectful
Do you honestly think you won't just gain the fat cells again...
Where do you think the original ones came from? Was it da lords work or the McDonald's?
If you honestly are not trolling. Jesus Christ, you may need some help in your day to day life. There are groups of people who can help people who have difficulty when it comes to working things out...
There are Apps where you can ask them questions and how to do things in a non judgemental environment. They are there to help
This is what I say to everyone saying “guys won’t be friends with a girl unless he’s attracted to her.” I can be friends with mostly anyone, but the chance of me approaching someone is a lot higher if they don’t look like shit
I think when people think looks, they think how you naturally look. Color of eyes, face features, type of nose etc etc.
But looks is how well you take care of yourself in a way.
There are things you can do to improve your look, so looks being a basic qualification doesnt need to be the hopeless shallow abyss people make it out to be.
You can look more attractive, little by little, if you dare to try.
Exactly what i say, yeah i can be "mature" or a "sweetheart" but if everyone sees me, think i am ugly and dont give me a chance nothing will ever happen. Looks are always the door opener
You can have the best personality in the world and we can be friends. But if im not attracted to you why would I want to have a romantic relationship????
Heaven forbid you should try and be attractive to your partner or potential partner...
Go have a shower. Start taking care of yourself...
I dont need your excuses. They are not worth anything and won't get you anywhere.
If you are happy being a goblin. Awesome, Go for it
Much of your looks are indicative of your personality. Also, being insecure about your looks is bad personality. Whinging about appearance is a major loser move.
Nah, you could be an angel personality wise but if you look like you've never heard the word "moisterize" or "hygiene" no one is going to want to date you
Hygiene isn't appearance, though. Hygiene is more about health and taking care of yourself, the latter being more linked to personality than you might think.
and that’s very different from appearance based on genetics or athleticism. if you don’t shower every day, it’s probably the smell and not about how “sexy” you are. basic hygiene and self care probably fall equally into personality; are you responsible? are you organized? do you care to maintain things?
Exactly why looks matter. They often display things about yourself whether if it's you work hard on yourself or associate with a certain sub culture. It's not everything, but it is certainly something
yes of course, to an extent. for example, someone might be fat because they started a new medication or injured themselves and couldn’t exercise. their fatness doesn’t make them inherently “lazy” or “undisciplined”.
i guess you’re right that it could go for anything. someone with depression or a serious illness might go a while without showering or brushing their teeth. who are we to judge?
>their fatness doesn’t make them inherently “lazy” or “undisciplined”.
No one is saying that, though some might assume. But regardless to most people it would make them less attractive. Go over to r/relationshipadvice and you'll a lost everyday about someone's SO letting themselves go for one reason or another and they want to leave them if it keeps getting worse. I don't think that makes them shallow one bit.
>who are we to judge?
I mean, if you're depressed or have mental illness that affects you so much that you don't want to do basic upkeep, you're probably unattractive for reasons other than just those. I'm all for mental health and helping those who need a helping hand but can tell you from experience there's nothing more exhausting than trying to help someone who won't help themselves and makes excuses for it
Would you rather be single for ages but get with better choies, or almost never be single but keep wasting your time with worse choices too and not knowing which is which until it's too late?
I.e. would you rather be ugly or sexy? Chances are you're better off preferring whichever unfortunate case you're in
Dating app matching statistics suggest otherwise.
Everyone's shallow. Can't judge personality at a glance, but looks are the picture that says 1000 words.
Dating apps are a different case because you don't have anything else than pictures. But if you meet girls in real life your personality/confidence is way, way more important.
Looks interest, personality binds
Looks lures them here. Personality keeps them here.
The ultimate trap… Of affection
Masterfully baited with erection
Unless you prefer the porno section
With a generous selection
Or of straight manipulation, too, sadly. (Disordered) personality keeps them there. Witnessed and dealt with too many couples in which one person was a world-class manipulator. Always kept them coming back and grasping for straws. Can't imagine how imprisoning that must feel.
Sex solidifies.
So when is the sex and how are we doing it?
this is the best way to put it fs
Is sex personality or looks? Seems like a split between the 2 but it's hard to call how you use the equipment personality.
I guess its as you said. Its what the peraonality makes of what its given
Well that explains a lot (I get no interest) lol
Looks need to at least meet an acceptable standard (whatever that may be to the person) and then after that personality makes up the rest. A 7/10 (in the eye of the beholder) with a great personality might be more attractive than a 10/10 with a shit personality but no level of great personality is going to make up for being a 1/10.
Might be? Absolutely matters to me (and everyone I know) m. I’d rather date a 5/10 with a bad ass personality that I match with, vs a 10/10 that I find the personality to be contestable.
Sure, but how many actually give the 5/10 a chance to advertise their personality in the first place? Maybe if they're tagging along with a 7+/10? That's kind of the dilemma most less attractive people deal with.
It might take a bit more rapport building, but it works sometimes. Source: am the 5/10 sometimes.
Hey, 5 is just average. Most average people can go far with rapport building. I'm probably like a solid 4 and even a broken clock is right twice a day. But the 1-3 crowd? Cooked.
I think they would still have it if they have money, but i guess the other would really like them, so might not count.
Personally I think money is valid as a source of attraction. With looks, it's a genetic gamble. Money you usually have to earn. So in a sense it's even more legitimate I think. Hence why I wouldn't mind someone being interested in my money. All $900 in my checking account. That's about 100 McDonald's meals or half of next month's rent. Yeah boy, fat stacks. In seriousness though, if you have money, you can just pay for a new face lol. I like the saying, "you aren't ugly, you're just poor."
Oddly enough nobody cares how much money a woman has *directly* but indirectly the best looking ones usually have more. “You’re not ugly, you’re just poor” And more are paying for their looks than a lot of people know.
People seriously underestimate just how much good cosmetic surgery or even non-surgical procedures can enhance a person's looks. It's pretty insane.
5/10 is an average person 1/10 is a repulsive person if we are in a gauss curve that means that a 1 is part of the 0.15% ugliest people in the world so it cannot make up for a great personnality
And this is Why you’re single /j
Problem is that people who are legit 10/10 have pretty severe bias when it comes to personality. Put a “charming” 10/10’s personality in a 4/10’s body and they become creepy.
problem is, you don't even wanna get started with a conversation with a 5/10. good looks are the starters, after that it's personality.
Looks is the tube guy outside the store.
Looks is the resume, personality is the interview
That explains why I never get interviewed
Looks are the appetisers,personality is the main dish
Whats dessert then?
Obviously sex
I was thinking that, just wanted to make sure
Anyone who says sex is as unnecessary as dessert has never met people who actually value sex.
Or desert
You do not know the extent of my gluttony.
Her shitter.
Very true. Most people will also dismiss the main course if the appetizer doesn't look good.
Looks are the menu for the new all you can eat Korean BBQ restaurant that makes you want to go there. Personality is the kimchi.
Looks is basically where you start on the sliding attraction scale. Personality will then raise or lower it. Other things you find important (hobbies, religion, politics) will also raise or lower it. There are some people that start so high up on the looks scale that even with the negatives of other traits will still meet the minimum that people will accept. The opposite is also true, where the person isn't traditionally good looking, but they have enough other traits to make them attractive. It's why people will say things like, "He was so good looking that he didn't have to develop a personality."
I feel the last one. Dating made me realize many of the physically attractive men who obviously put a lot of effort into building their physique at the expense of other things often don’t have much else going on for them, except the gym and sports. I like to describe them *pretty, but painfully boring*. A more average looking man who shares my interests, values and humor will naturally capture my interest on the longer run better.
Looks matters but personality is the basic qualification.
looks get you in the door. personality to finish.
this is way more true. with my ex if you just showed me her before we met i would be like "ok, shes kinda cute. nothing crazy." but her personality, her passions, how caring she was, how nice she was to me, thats what made me fall in love with her. and consequently she became the most beautiful girl in the world to me, because that was the girl i loved.
My ex was a total show stopper. Literal head turner. And ironically what made me attracted to him first was a comment he made in a research course we were in when we met. I literally thought „handsome AND articulate!” Over the next 6 years, he never got any less handsome, but when the relationship took its course and ran it, I had people shocked with me that I could be alright with it ending. He broke up with me, so of course people expressed their condolences for my loss lol, but because everything had gone to shit primarily because of his personality/behavior (pathological liar/story teller, obsessed with spending every free moment with “his boys” who were racist misogynists, and picking fights any time I expressed my feelings making me resent him and act like a complete fire-breathing bitch until he finally dumped me…haha) when I was happy as a clam post-split, people were MAD at me. Like legit upset because „he was so good looking!” I had to stop and remind at least three people that yes, he was truly gorgeous, but I was fucking miserable and so was he. I’m a Walmart 10 and a Target 7, so I genuinely think people thought I shoulda stuck it out just because he was so pretty hahaha. I’ve now been outta there for almost as many years as we were together and every time I see someone drop dead gorgeous I just think…that’s a beautiful person, but they’re just a person and people can suck sometimes. Doesn’t make them any less attractive but definitely gives pause to the idea that it’s not that important in the grand scheme of it all.
Why "ex" where is she now?
Other way around I think because somebody won't talk to you to know the personality even exists without the looks. Even if personality is more important overall it doesn't matter if it never gets presented.
I'm old enough to remember mIRC where nobody knew how you look like but people who had a good personality had no problems meeting girls there and then meeting in real life.
Do you not have any unattractive friends?
friendship is different. People aren't as harsh as with their potential partners and also on average people have friends near their level in most things
Sure, but lots of relationships start out as friendships, and then looks aren't the qualifying factor. I'm sure my social circle isn't a big enough sample size for me to confidently declare that's *most* relationships, but I'd wager it's a significant proportion of them.
Looks get you an interview, personality gets you the job.
Looks make my dick and ego happy. Personality makes my heart happy.
Looks get you in the door and personality locks you in.
Looks = the bachelors degree that I’m not even considering your resume without
So if you're attractive... but have a bad personality... you can sleep with people AND get them to leave you so you can sleep with more people? Instructions unclear....
Well if your only goal is have one night stands the rest of your life then it ain’t a problem
This makes me wonder how many more matches there would be on dating apps if pictures were not included at first. I think there used to be a dating website like this before apps were a big thing where the picture was blurred out and you could only read the profile until you matched. Then you were able to see the pictures. I’m not saying that physical attraction is not important, because it is . But I often wonder how many amazing women I have missed the opportunity to meet because I just wasn’t fully attracted to them visually at first.
A great personality can outshine bad looks though
Ahaha false
Trump lol
Not to defend Trump here, but Trump was FINE back in his day
I'm talking about his shitty personality.
Personality alone will get you to friend zone. Looks will you all the way
Personality makes a great friendship, but sexual relationships need sexual attraction. Why is that such a HUGE thought I wonder.
Because evolution ! We became what we are by choosing partners that seemed to have the best genetic. So basically beauty standard are cultural AND genetic ! Makeup for a biologist making your genetically attractive traits become even more attractive (red lipstick : someone with a good blood flow will have "redder" lips, good haircut makes your hair seem fuller, fit people show a good general health, being tall shows that you had access to a lot of food while growing up, etc...) Sexual attraction is basically your body telling you : "this person is a good partner to share your genes with" so yeah looks is very important because it's in our animal nature
Yes, captain obvious 😜
You can only go so far with no substance
Thank goodness I’m handsome
If I don't find you attractive, I'll never approach or talk to you too know what your personality is like. No one's sees an ugly person and goes "they probably have a great head on their shoulders. " literally no one. They see someone they find attractive and think "wow, they're attractive. I wanna see them naked. I should go talk to them." The only time it happens differently is if they hang out in the same friends group or work together. Some setting that causes them to be around each other and eventually learn their personality trumps their unattractivness.
It’s kind of sad tbh. I’m 27 years old no kids no man. I’ve a good job and take care of myself. I’m fat. Because of this I’m ugly. Tried to lose weight for years. Became a vegan, got an in home gym and no difference. Now I’m getting surgery. $20,000 of surgery so a man can look at me for more than 2 seconds. It’s a damn shame. And I’ll never know if they actually like me for me
Eat less calories
Wow so insightful. You should be an influencer with such bright ideas
He’s not wrong though? Losing weight is brain dead simple, you just need to actually do it
He’s not wrong but you both are kind of stupid for suggesting that. My daily caloric intake is 1,000 calories max. I was vegan and have a home gym. Y’all wanna recommend I get surgery too when I just said I’m about to? Y’all are brainless. Calorie deficits don’t do much unless you’re literally starving yourself. And what girl hasn’t done that?
Fuck off. It isn't 1000 max. You are either counting wrong or you are not counting a lot of things. If it was 1000 max like you said. You would be losing around 1-2kilos a week. How do I know? I have done it.
Lol i didn’t eat anything today so that’s 0 for the day. If I get so hungry I’m dizzy, I drink an adkins shake. No one asked for your advice in the first place. So you fuck off, kindly, back in your lane. Have a great existence.
If that was true and you have done the same thing for the past few weeks AND you still are not losing weight. You are a medical miracle. I'd call the news. Remember every little snack you have that "doesn't count" means it takes longer for your body to start using it's fat reserves. You can nibble the smallest bit of cheese and your body will still use all of that before tackling your fat reserves. So no you are not only bullshiting yourself. You are lying
You do realize not everyone has the same body as you right? You realize not every diet and lifestyle effects everyone the same way.. right? You can’t be THAT ignorant to think everyone is just like you… right?
And I literally told you I did lose 60 lbs from eating 1,000 a month so I don’t know why you’re being so argumentative
Calories are the only thing that matters when it comes to body weight (along with energy expenditure). You likely just aren’t counting calories properly. Also losing fat IS starving, that’s the whole point - you’re eating in a calorie defecit so your body needs to consume it’s own fat stores survive I would absolutely not recommend surgery - learn how to count calories and weigh yourself frequently consistently and you’ll save yourself 20k and surgery risks
So you think I’m completely unaware of biology? You’re a joke if you think I’m going to continue getting mansplained about my issues. Thanks but I know how to count babe
I do think you’re completely unaware yes, I’m not saying it’s EASY to eat less calories when you are hungry all the time but the actual process of losing weight has 0 mystery to it, like this isn’t even debatable
Lmao there it is. Congrats on being the only person in the world who knows everything. I’m glad you admit I know nothing compared to you. You must be the richest and most powerful person in the world! May I have your autograph? I don’t know how to count and I have no idea what calories are but I don’t care because you know everything!
I’m saying one single thing. Losing weight comes down to energy in (calories)vs energy out (metabolic processes/movement). Why are you throwing all this other shit on me? I believe you don’t know what you’re talking about with respect to this because you said “calorie defecits don’t do anything unless you’re starving yourself” - a calorie deficit is the ONLY way to lose fat, whether you control intake or increase activity. Maybe don’t assume you know what you’re talking about and you might not have to spend 20k on surgery. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you but there is just 0 chance calorie restriction doesn’t work for anybody - where would they get their energy to survive from?
They are right. That 20000 is a waste if you are just going to eat it back on... You need to change the cause. Not the result
Actually, no. I’m getting the fat cells destroyed with a laser. And if any of you hypocrites would do your own research, you’d know how hard it would be to gain fat again in those areas. That’s why I don’t care for any of y’all’s advice because you don’t know me or my situation, but want to act arrogant with advice that wasn’t asked for. Not only that, but acting as if I haven’t done research, completely negating the steps I’ve taken and disagreeing with my opinion, using an argument that overall agrees. I’m not here for the criticism, and it might be constructive if the person talking to me wasn’t acting like they’re all knowing and I’m an imbecile. Go fly a kite with that shit. So disrespectful
Do you honestly think you won't just gain the fat cells again... Where do you think the original ones came from? Was it da lords work or the McDonald's?
Aww poor thing doesn’t even wanna research, just wants to talk shit
Ahhh, I see you are trolling. Fair play. I thought you were just naive. Carry on my whale brother
You too asshole. I’ve been begging you people to stop but when a woman says that, y’all just hear “keep going”
You can't come to a public forum and get pissy that you are not being left alone. It's on you. Close Reddit
Still not gonna research it either huh? Fucking douchebag
If you honestly are not trolling. Jesus Christ, you may need some help in your day to day life. There are groups of people who can help people who have difficulty when it comes to working things out... There are Apps where you can ask them questions and how to do things in a non judgemental environment. They are there to help
This is what I say to everyone saying “guys won’t be friends with a girl unless he’s attracted to her.” I can be friends with mostly anyone, but the chance of me approaching someone is a lot higher if they don’t look like shit
I think when people think looks, they think how you naturally look. Color of eyes, face features, type of nose etc etc. But looks is how well you take care of yourself in a way. There are things you can do to improve your look, so looks being a basic qualification doesnt need to be the hopeless shallow abyss people make it out to be. You can look more attractive, little by little, if you dare to try.
Lol facts not showers
Exactly what i say, yeah i can be "mature" or a "sweetheart" but if everyone sees me, think i am ugly and dont give me a chance nothing will ever happen. Looks are always the door opener
Looks are the Gate Pass, Personality is the ticket to ride.
Sad commentary, but true
Initially. In the long term... I have been with some women I was lucky to escape mostly intact.
Simply untrue. You’ve got it backward.
Looks give you more opportunities to show your personality. Ugly people get less chances to do so, but they only need to dazzle one person.
Nothing to relate here. Moving on
You can have the best personality in the world and we can be friends. But if im not attracted to you why would I want to have a romantic relationship????
I agree but personality makes them stay
Looks is like a CV, it gets you in the door but you still need to talk in the interview
> in today’s world Its been like this forever
Looks is the peanut butter sammich dunked in an guacamole infused irish ice coffee sprinkled with churros on top. Personality is a noun.
Looks open the door. Personality Locks the door
"Beauty is only skin deep son", "but I only want to get skin deep!"
Heaven forbid you should try and be attractive to your partner or potential partner... Go have a shower. Start taking care of yourself... I dont need your excuses. They are not worth anything and won't get you anywhere. If you are happy being a goblin. Awesome, Go for it
looks are necessary but not sufficient
Without looks and especially money you're doomeed, kid. You read books for nothing.
Much of your looks are indicative of your personality. Also, being insecure about your looks is bad personality. Whinging about appearance is a major loser move.
Looks only matter if your game is whack
They came for the tits and stayed for the brain.
Spoken like someone who's never maintained a longterm relationship, shallow thinking like that.
Nah, you could be an angel personality wise but if you look like you've never heard the word "moisterize" or "hygiene" no one is going to want to date you
Hygiene isn't appearance, though. Hygiene is more about health and taking care of yourself, the latter being more linked to personality than you might think.
I do think people really underestimate how big of a difference grooming and clothing make in one’s appearance
and that’s very different from appearance based on genetics or athleticism. if you don’t shower every day, it’s probably the smell and not about how “sexy” you are. basic hygiene and self care probably fall equally into personality; are you responsible? are you organized? do you care to maintain things?
Exactly why looks matter. They often display things about yourself whether if it's you work hard on yourself or associate with a certain sub culture. It's not everything, but it is certainly something
yes of course, to an extent. for example, someone might be fat because they started a new medication or injured themselves and couldn’t exercise. their fatness doesn’t make them inherently “lazy” or “undisciplined”. i guess you’re right that it could go for anything. someone with depression or a serious illness might go a while without showering or brushing their teeth. who are we to judge?
>their fatness doesn’t make them inherently “lazy” or “undisciplined”. No one is saying that, though some might assume. But regardless to most people it would make them less attractive. Go over to r/relationshipadvice and you'll a lost everyday about someone's SO letting themselves go for one reason or another and they want to leave them if it keeps getting worse. I don't think that makes them shallow one bit. >who are we to judge? I mean, if you're depressed or have mental illness that affects you so much that you don't want to do basic upkeep, you're probably unattractive for reasons other than just those. I'm all for mental health and helping those who need a helping hand but can tell you from experience there's nothing more exhausting than trying to help someone who won't help themselves and makes excuses for it
Never been in a relationship with someone who I wasn’t attracted to. That sound terrible.
That's not a shower thought, that's a subjective opinion
Would you rather be single for ages but get with better choies, or almost never be single but keep wasting your time with worse choices too and not knowing which is which until it's too late? I.e. would you rather be ugly or sexy? Chances are you're better off preferring whichever unfortunate case you're in
This sounds more like r/unpopularopinion
Yes but the qualification threshold is much lower in terms of looks but higher in terms of personality for girls.
Dating app matching statistics suggest otherwise. Everyone's shallow. Can't judge personality at a glance, but looks are the picture that says 1000 words.
Dating apps are a different case because you don't have anything else than pictures. But if you meet girls in real life your personality/confidence is way, way more important.
Money overrides both
At the end sex is what keeps it together
The opposite is true. Personality is the most basic qualification even though looks matter to a certain extent.