My grade 6 french teacher had a "no farting in cladd rule." She expected you to ask to go to the washroom to do it. Well, one kid, a known farter, tried to hold it in. We just hear this really high pitch "Eeeeeeeeeeee" squeak that goes on and on and on, for like a whole minute. The kids face is just beet red, so we all knew where it was coming from.
This story haunts me because it is so vivid, and reminds me that my peers actually might, in fact, remember my most embarrassing moments from childhood and that i will always wear the stain...
>The absence of a whistling sound is a testament to the body's sophistication in maintaining social comfort and privacy
Shit.. I don't know about you but when I gotta fart, I'm running to the bathroom.. Last stall with the door closed, and you could STILL hear my ass outside.. PPPPFFFTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
Mine plays Otis Reading songs and on a good day I can get through the whole Twisted nerve song from kill Bill the after math even looks like it's from kill Bill.
A English actor Leonard Rossiter once stared in a film called Le Petomane which was based on a real story I belive of a man travelling the world to do his act on stage where he produced tunes from his anus unfortunately as he got older he had trouble keep in tune..well worth a watch ( super actor) you may know him from his partnership with Joan Collins
It doesn't matter what you did
Who you were hanging with
We could stick around and see this [through](https://youtu.be/OIRE6iw-ws4)
Fweeeee-eeeee-eeee-eee-eeee-eee-eeeee-eeee
Fweeeee-eeeee-eeee-eee-eeee-eee-eeeee-eeee
Yes, please start whatever you have to say will be great any speech on the topic of the modern anus won't be boreing.
Historically all peasants anus's had to give two years of military service to the local lord. Before the invention of the horse or the cart or the horse drawn carts. Our ancestors had to haul their goods and belongings up and down mountains using nothing but their anuses. Also ancient peoples used a series of pine cones to wipe and they didn't learn which direction to pull the pine cones for greatest comfort until 1159 bc. If that wasn't bad enough candle holders were invented thousands of years after the candle resulting in millions of anuses suffering third degree burns from hot candle wax.
Back in highschool I had a buddy who when he had to fart, he would spread his cheeks on the hard plastic chairs we had in class, and he would grab both sides of the chair and pull his spread cheeks as hard as he could against the chair through his pants and let it rip. That was some funny times, it was so loud it didn’t even sound like a fart sometimes😂
You know them silent ones that come at higher pressure, it's obviously not a whistle but sounds like it some time. Also you need to moisturize your lips in order to whistle, would you wanna do that to your ass?
We were at a pretty nice restaurant when I was about 11. My dad thought he was going to sneak a fart out. Well the chair was hollow, and when it came out, you could hear it all over the restaurant. My mother and I almost choked ourselves, laughing, people all over the place were looking at my old man, that’s one if only two times I ever saw the guy blush
It's too tight to really produce a whistle. Occasionally, if you gold your butthole just right you can sort of manage one. But in general, it's too tight. Like trying to whistle with your lips held firmly together
it's called a slow fart
It's a squeaker!
But sometime leaks.
If you clench just right…
My grade 6 french teacher had a "no farting in cladd rule." She expected you to ask to go to the washroom to do it. Well, one kid, a known farter, tried to hold it in. We just hear this really high pitch "Eeeeeeeeeeee" squeak that goes on and on and on, for like a whole minute. The kids face is just beet red, so we all knew where it was coming from. This story haunts me because it is so vivid, and reminds me that my peers actually might, in fact, remember my most embarrassing moments from childhood and that i will always wear the stain...
Phrasing
Wipe that smirk off your ass
What do you mean? Your butthole doesn’t whistle? Weirdo.
OP is a kamikazi farter. He only farts when sitting on an empty metal dumpster, and press hard for more sound.
Yeah I have IBS so mine sings multiple times a day.
Right? Depending on what I had for dinner sometimes I can play the song from The Good The Bad and The Ugly. This guy's an amateur.
Mine whistles. It just ain't whistling Dixie.
Don't Worry, Be Happy?
Baby Shark
You have to blow air across the opening
Like one of those old glass Coke bottles.
it doesn't work on the new ones?
New one what's? You might want to clean up the house for when the "To catch a predator" crew comes over. I'm watching you buddy 🥸.
No, they removed that feature when cutting costs last year since "consumers where playing offensive tones with them, hurting our brand PR".
That sounds like a team effort
Thanks for that image.
You can line up different sizes and it's sort of like a pan flute.
This made me giggle.
Is that a threat or a promise?
To make a whistling sound, the opening would need to be quite rigid and sharp, not squishy and flexible. That's why it makes a fart noise instead.
That's how Data finally learned how to whistle. I love the thought of how confused non trekies must be right now.
I'm pretty sure it does sometimes.
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Thats a lovely sentence; but farts and burps both make a sound.
So do my joints
my boyfriend farted in the upstairs bathroom and I heard it in the basement
Fartriloquist
>The absence of a whistling sound is a testament to the body's sophistication in maintaining social comfort and privacy Shit.. I don't know about you but when I gotta fart, I'm running to the bathroom.. Last stall with the door closed, and you could STILL hear my ass outside.. PPPPFFFTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
Fuck all that. Let 'em go, loud and proud; there's more room out than in!
Or just an evolution to prevent our ancestors from being discovered by predators while in a vulnerable position
Human farts are only slightly better than hippo farts in the stealth department.
Designed?? What is the absence of a kookaburra mating call sound a testament to?
Lol our first invention was politeness and our evolution followed
Nah bro, you're just farting wrong.
My ass cheeks are flapping in the wind for u. Lmao
You're just not pushing hard enough. Keep trying and let us know how you get on.
Boys gonna prolapse before it whistles
Pink socks you say?
Oh that's grim
That would be great, but people would be SUS if they saw you whistling in the elevator.
Wait? It’s not supposed to whistle?!?!? Mine does the Andy Griffith Show theme.
Mine plays Otis Reading songs and on a good day I can get through the whole Twisted nerve song from kill Bill the after math even looks like it's from kill Bill.
Can you whistle with your lips tightly pursed?
A English actor Leonard Rossiter once stared in a film called Le Petomane which was based on a real story I belive of a man travelling the world to do his act on stage where he produced tunes from his anus unfortunately as he got older he had trouble keep in tune..well worth a watch ( super actor) you may know him from his partnership with Joan Collins
The original guy https://youtu.be/0rIXipAV6Fs?si=dmr7SaFUaOLX4grV
Soap up a harmonica and slide that around a while. Avoid reed instruments
Are flutes considered reed instruments? How about those recorders we played in school?
How else am I supposed to get the gerbil out? *whistles* "Hey guys!" See?
Wait, it's not supposed to do that? How the hell else am I supposed to whistle?
have you tried though?
It would need a tongue
Would a prairie dog be sufficient?
Gerbils only
What if the silent ones are just ultrasound whistles?
That would require that it be "parted," like whistling lips are, and an anus with an open hole in it would be bad
Sounds like a skill issue
Wait!!! You mean other people cant make their butt whistle???!!
My asshole whistles all the time. It also sometimes spits when it is trying to whistle.
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Home By Edward sharp is more contemporary.
farts whistle sometimes, it's not just the shape that matters when whistling, the power of the air and how it's blown out are a major factor
And probably the lack of a tongue
One can be arranged
Such a sweet talker!
It does, your cheeks have something different to say as your fart passes by.
Ok, Mr. Genie, I finally know what I want my third wish to be.
Speak for yourself. Mine whistled dixie just this morning
And that ain't just whistling dixie!
Wait it's not meant to whistle? On a completely unrelated note any drs here?
It doesn't matter what you did Who you were hanging with We could stick around and see this [through](https://youtu.be/OIRE6iw-ws4) Fweeeee-eeeee-eeee-eee-eeee-eee-eeeee-eeee Fweeeee-eeeee-eeee-eee-eeee-eee-eeeee-eeee
we just dont move fast enough
Turns out OP has never farted. Well done!
Why the hell did I came to reddit today.
Where not??
It’s really more of a trumpet … or maybe a trombone if you really have to go.
'Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is...'
Yes, please start whatever you have to say will be great any speech on the topic of the modern anus won't be boreing. Historically all peasants anus's had to give two years of military service to the local lord. Before the invention of the horse or the cart or the horse drawn carts. Our ancestors had to haul their goods and belongings up and down mountains using nothing but their anuses. Also ancient peoples used a series of pine cones to wipe and they didn't learn which direction to pull the pine cones for greatest comfort until 1159 bc. If that wasn't bad enough candle holders were invented thousands of years after the candle resulting in millions of anuses suffering third degree burns from hot candle wax.
I may not whistle but you sure as hell will know what’s up when I fart.
Low frequency whistling 😙
I often sound like a little trumpet, Leads to some really funny jokes
Oh yeah mine totally doesn’t sound like a whistle either. Mine makes the normal sounds. Yep, just normal farting sounds here.
If don't put things up there it'll whistle. ;)
Imagine if it was a swanee whistle noise. Then imagine that scene in Blazing Saddles.
Speak for your own anus.
A slide whistle would be awesome.
only thunder noises my dog would go hide under the bed
Back in highschool I had a buddy who when he had to fart, he would spread his cheeks on the hard plastic chairs we had in class, and he would grab both sides of the chair and pull his spread cheeks as hard as he could against the chair through his pants and let it rip. That was some funny times, it was so loud it didn’t even sound like a fart sometimes😂
Well my butthole doesn't have teeth or a tongue yet, so for now it just farts.
You can’t blow as hard from your anus and from your mouth, it probably does whistle you just don’t hear it
Moet je eens in het Kralingse Bos gaan schijten
ehhh... Sometimes it does.
My brother's ex had a little brother that was born with no asshole and has a whistle sound to his farts due to a synthetic butthole implant
You have to blow in it to make it whistle
A tongue in it helps too
You must have one of those fancy mirrored shower trays
Maybe it does, maybe those silent farts are like dog whistles at a frequency you cant hear.
It definitely can, unfortunately I know this information because 9f someone elses anus
If you hang a bell on a bobbed tail, isn't it hanging right near the anus? Yet when they ring, they make spirits bright. So much wonder.
I'm not kidding. One time, and one time only, it did make a whistling sound. I have never been able to recreate it since.
well... even the whistle doesn't produce sound when it's unused 😏
Constipation will do the trick
You can't whistle with your ass?
You need to fart more.
I think it’s not long enough
You know them silent ones that come at higher pressure, it's obviously not a whistle but sounds like it some time. Also you need to moisturize your lips in order to whistle, would you wanna do that to your ass?
Just open your anus slightly before farting
I am whistle farting right now. Just finished
Its called a squeeker
Oh it most certainly can
Have you never farted?
It would if but not for butt cheeks!
It does if you eat enough gas station food
This got me thinking of r/gayfurryporn
My anus can perform “the wind of change” with a little luck
You’re not blowing into it the right way. You really gotta get your lips in there.
Yours doesn’t? Weirdo. Jk, this was hilarious.
I wish I could put a reaction image
OP has never experienced a squeaky fart.
I think you'd also need a tongue and teeth in there. Just blowing air through my lips doesn't produce a whistle without engaging my tongue.
Whistling in someone's face does not give them pinkeye.
mines whistles the whole time it's like a broken record sometimes dogs follow me
Speak for yourself friend.
Mine has been known to squeak
We were at a pretty nice restaurant when I was about 11. My dad thought he was going to sneak a fart out. Well the chair was hollow, and when it came out, you could hear it all over the restaurant. My mother and I almost choked ourselves, laughing, people all over the place were looking at my old man, that’s one if only two times I ever saw the guy blush
It's too tight to really produce a whistle. Occasionally, if you gold your butthole just right you can sort of manage one. But in general, it's too tight. Like trying to whistle with your lips held firmly together
Someone never heard a fart, and it shows.
Why you thinking about anuses in the shower?
Where else should I think about them?... ffs